Trek The Road Called Life..

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2009-05-18T22:42:00.002-07:00

I am being faced with two opposing situations. Situations that are both brought about by the crisis that is gradually being felt. What I really want is to be able to stay and live with all my children and spend my days playing with them, rearing them, teaching them about how to live and get along with this life and let them feel my paternal love and care. However, tough times are slowly being felt. My businesses are now gradually slowing down. Old customers are now holding on to their hard earned money unlike before and of course, it's not only me who's experiencing this but the rest of my household as well.

Now, it came to my mind to go and try to earn overseas. There are still other countries who are not affected by this crisis and I want to beef up my capitals to be able to put up some buffer business that would have a strategic effect on my kid's livelihood and future.

But since they are just living with me and in this moment that I am the only parent that they physically have, I am quite half-baked in my desire to go overseas and re-pursue a career that was long put into retirement just to be able to prepare for what else is ahead with this crisis.

I just wish that I would be guided by the Almighty to come up with this decision. I hope that sooner I could then decide if I Should Stay or I Should Go...

Near Death but Alive!!!

2008-03-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

I just recently had a serious motorcycle accident resulting in 4 broken ribs, broken left shoulder and an almost crushed skull.. I was riding my bike along a secluded road and was speeding at 90mph or 140kph since I was in a hurry to go home to my kids one slippery night on March 2008.

My head was quite tipsy and quite loaded with problems both from work and at home. My mind was not on the road but on how to be able to get over the problems that surrounded me that time. What I didn't know was that I had subconsciously had the speed of the bike in full throttle. As I was speeding along the road, I noticed a group of cows crossing the road from a reasonable distance. I saw the last cow cross the road and headed towards the path where he left off. What I was unaware about was that, there was still another cow that was left behind at the blindspot on my left. Upon probably seeing me on my speeding bike, he acted and headed towards me and we collided with each other head-on!

What I just remembered was that there was this big Crash and I never knew what happened next. It was just a good thing that there was this lady in a van that stopped to help me. She told me that I flipped into the air for four times and landed on the road just like a crushed fruit falling from a tree. She thought that I am dead.

I was out for a couple of minutes until I woke up still on that same road with some other people staring at me. I was about to get up and move ahead but they told me not to since they said that my helmet was crushed. They removed my helmet and luckily there was no blood coming from my head. A couple of minutes later, a rescue ambulance came and they picked me up and brought me to the nearest medical center. There I found out that I have fractured bones and bruises all over. I was surprised to found out who was at my side when I woke up at the hospital - my (ex?!)-wife just came in that same night from overseas. She is the mother of majority of my children! She was there and took care of me the whole time. We never had a very good communication ever since she went overseas with my stepson.

When I went home from the hospital, she was still with me and all our kids were so delighted to see us together. We all stayed in the house and this accident brought us together literally. This accident is indeed quite painful but it redeemed my married life and brought my wife back to us and me to them. I could say that accident almost took my life or I was nearly dead or have been dead for a while but am now Alive and already set to have a Family that would never leave each other behind. Thanks to the Cow who hit me on that Road! I just wish that he is not hurt when I collided with him and like me still alive and now having a great time with my family.

Fight or Flight?

2007-12-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

How many amongst us take on a fight whenever confronted with one? How many amongst us would prefer to put it off until the other party clears his head? Men by nature they say is pugnacious unless of course you came from the genealogy of non-repugnant bloodlines. who would only enter a fight when the one at stake is of matter of life or death.

If we relate it to the real context of life, how many amongst us would put on a fight against our very own sets of problems? How many amongst us would choose to flight and move away from the sources of our problems and submit into a certain form of denial just to be able to pretend that we are living a normal life devoid of any problems? Most of us would tend to justify the reasons why we are acting the way we do when we run away from our own sets of problems and most of us have the tendencies to make other people believe that in our situations, it is the right thing to do. We tend to rationalize our acts and behaviors to be able to get other people's nods, sympathy and empathy to evade being wrongly criticized, humiliated and ostracized by our society.

Life is a continuous struggle as many wise men say. It is a constant struggle to stay alive, live a problem free existence and face the demands of being a human. But of the many people from different parts of the world, how many are able to face their problems as they come and take them as they plunge into them and never stops until they beat their problems to the pulp? How many would rather shy away from their problems and live a pretentious existence avoiding each and every problem that comes along their way?

Probably, the world is a mixture of both. Those who chose to fight it out head on with their problems and those who chose to flight and escape, others temporarily and others permanently. Solving our own personal sets of problems is a mixture of both I may say. Some fight it out with their problems as they come and would only cease when they solved it. While some prefers to defer facing their own problems until the time that they could assess that they are already capable of facing them. Life is indeed an interesting cycle with sets of interesting choices too. How about you in whatever problems that you have now, what would you chose? Fight or flight? :)

Friend or Foe?

2007-11-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

Five Letter Word. Five letter word that dominates the World that since time immemorial had been the root of all problems of a common man. MONEY a material thing that makes every lives in this world move and evolve... a material thing that possesses each and every human being except those who doesn't know it's name.. MONEY just made of paper or steel.. But why is it that you could draw powers from the sun and could summon the weaknesses of the earth? MONEY, where did you really come from? Are you from the heavens, from the earth or from the deep pits of hell? Are you even alive that humans won't even tear you apart nor step on you when they see you on the road but instead would pick you up and treasure you like their own specially those who misses you so much..

MONEY? Why is it that you've been the root cause of the downfall of so many men? Why is it that so many lives were lost all because of your name? Right! Money! You must really be a hero for etched on your face are the faces of several heroes from all corners of this world! Money? Let me ask you this. Are you a friend or a foe? Friend whenever you are near and for those men who have you...but for those men who don't? A foe? - a traitor friend who pushed men to submerge in the mud, to jail or to their deaths? Tell me, where did you really come from and what are you made of? Tell it to me and to them.. How about you my friend? Is money your friend or foe?

Excerpts of Being A Man - Cats in A Cradle?

2007-11-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

I am a father now to several children both biologically mine and not and they came from several moms. Rearing them is the main thing that I would like to do. Give them the best things that I could provide and ensure that they are well-fed & nourished, well-taken care of, healthy in all aspects and prepare them for a better future.

When I was younger, I never thought that I could be a full time Dad and I used to think that children should be left with their mothers and the best thing that a Dad could do is be a provider. So I just focused then on earning money, beefing up my corporate career and doing business all the time. I used to say to my ex-other-wife whenever she would hand my baby that "Ei! I am in a hurry. You better take care of him coz I would be late. " Among my own five children, wherein all of them are boys, I feel guilty of not being there when they were still an infant to the first two boys. Whenever their mothers would hand them to me before when I was still living with their moms, I always refuse and say "He won't be able to understand me. He is still a baby. I would have the time when he grows up and he would learn a lot from me." That was I thought the best right thing to do.

Running several businesses, being employed as a consultant, doing photography works for my photo and video studio, overseeing my bar during night time, I never had the time to be with them except when I sleep in their mom's places. I believed then that it was the right thing to do. Materially speaking, they have enough. So there was no reason for me to get worried about then.

As years pass by, the more I got tied up to my businesses. There are times that I was able to spend time with my second boy whenever I borrowed her from her mother while unfortunately with my first boy, they went to a far place. However, this last year when I visited my second boy. Upon seeing me, he ran away and cried instead, he hugged her nanny all the more and never want to even come near me.

Then it dawned on me. I was not doing the right thing. My own boy who could then talk doesn't even want to come near me. The more I suppose the reaction would be of my first boy. I remember that song revived by Ugly Kid Joe, "Cats in the Cradle..." It is a good thing that I am never as old as that of the father in that song. I still have the time to correct myself with all my children that is why I recalled all of them & am living with them except for my first boy. I wish I am never too late.

The Day I Began to Blog

2007-11-08T05:40:00.000-08:00

I was in the midst of a personal family crisis and is always online most of the time when I chanced upon Blogging in a forum in a local website here in the Philippines. There is no day or night that I am not in front of a rectangular box that is connected to a virtual world wherein I intend to find some level of peace of mind. Peace of mind on how to be able to raise my four kids whose ages are 7, 3 & 1 - twins & 3 adopted girls aged 10, 7 & 6. Their mother flew to another country to claim for support from her estranged husband for my stepson aged 7 and she is not expected to be back until early next year. I am left to fend for my kids. I am just hoping for the best and willing to learn and eventually earn from anything that I could get my hands on.

My businesses all went down in the first quarter of 2007. I used to have a bar & restaurant, a private security agency and an entertainment training center. Some say that the Philippine economy is getting stronger but for businessmen like me, it is the opposite. So I rolled them all up and packed and hoped that I would be able to restart a business that I would manage myself. Unlike those businesses wherein I let other people handle and just kept on shouldering all the expenses and all losses.

I just silently took it all in and never stopped. Right now, I am on my way back and this time I am doing all businesses online. Just a couple of months back, I heard about blogging and I didn't know anything about it. But since I am interested to do businesses purely online so as not to be taken away from my kids, I inched my way to find out how this works. PPP is my very first in blogging. My purpose is to earn extra at least or if not the most out of this.

I really don't know what to blog about except that in my heart I want to rear my kids and give them a better life and I want to express myself in each turn that I make and every road I take. I am not here to earn and force money by copying other blogs. I just want to be me. I want to write about what I feel and oh I love writing! Not for money but to be able to express the imprint of my soul and I am not after statistics if people would read it or not. I am just wishing that through my personal input, some could probably relate and free themselves from the burden that they are not alone in this journey in the road called life.

Luckily for some, their roads were all smoothed up and clear. In my case, I have tried to use that road before and failed to reach my goal. This time, although I might be alone in my journey towards the dark, murky and muddy road, I am much more eager to trek the road less travelled and I do hope that I could then make a difference.