Trick Wire

Ryan Conklin Is 2009 Sexiest Man Alive

2010-01-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of 2009, Ryan Conklin first came to the public's attention, as a cast member on MTV's The Real World Brooklyn. On the show, he became known for his fun loving personality, his creative talents, and his dedication to duty when he was recalled back to active duty to serve with the Army in Iraq. For me, my interest in him from the beginning has largely been connected to the many intriguing aspects of his multi-faceted personality and of his various interests. However, I'm not unaware or immune to the fact that the sight of him makes people short of breath, weak in the knees and somewhat light-headed, due his overpowering allure. For that physical effect on people, I must declare Ryan to be my 2009 Sexiest Man Alive.

Ryan has some classic attributes that contribute to his sexiness. He has a cute face, big biceps, slim build, and a sweet but self-confident manner. In casual civilian clothes, he wears his cap at a jaunty angle and sports boy-next-door attire and a winning smile. In his Army uniform, he's G.I. Ryan come to life, and not the little 3 3/4" version, but rather the proud 8" size that you can barely get your hand around.

Girls are crazy for him, but his attractiveness extends across all demographics. Here are some examples of the hotness that stimulates both his male and females fans.

Shirtless Ryan Conklin exposing himself to nature.

Classic good-looking American boy-next-door.

Ryan makes use of his boyish charm.

Ryan uses his hand to get intimate with a "friend".

Ryan as the perfect snuggle bunny in bed.

Ryan throws his meaty legs in the air.

Ryan spreads his legs and shows the big gun.

Ryan provocatively wets his skin for the camera.

It's nice that Ryan doesn't act like he even realizes how sexy he is. In a video from Iraq, he nonchalantly showed some of his physical prowess. Grasping what he could handle, Ryan beat off just the head of what he euphemistically called "the hammer of f***ing Conklin." Hot.

Rocking The District 2009

2009-07-11T18:47:00.000-07:00

For a change of pace, I went up to Carmel to go to the "Rock the District" outdoor music event. It's held each summer in Carmel, the wealthy city directly north of Indianapolis where the well-to-do people in central Indiana live. The "District" is the so-called "Arts & Design District" in Old Town Carmel, where sadly there is very little art and only pathetically bad design. Except for events like this one and the few restaurants that are there, there is very little reason to go there.

When I got there, none of the bands were playing at the moment so I traipsed down the main thoroughfare perusing what the various food vendors under their awnings had to offer. Most of it was ridiculously overpriced considering it was just carnival-like food, but the prices were probably set with consideration of the moneyed interests that live in the area and who could afford to pay up. I tried to be mindful of the good eating habits preached by Scott Herman, the fitness trainer/model from The Real World Brooklyn, who's every word I follow on Twitter. For that reason, I selected a grilled chicken sandwich. It was particularly tasty. On the other hand, I also got a tray of sweet potato fries to go with it, which were also quite yummy (but I'm confident not on Scott's prescribed diet).

Since I'm a-telling on myself, I'll mention that the first thing I bought was actually a grotesquely huge bag of kettle corn. It's something to get at fairs, like elephant ears, but it's hard to say if it is as bad for you. It's popcorn that has a light coating of both sugar and salt. It just looks kind of funny for one person to carry around a duffel bag size quantity of snack food.

The attendance this year was less than last year, because frankly the music headliner wasn't as big as the one the last two years. In 2007 & 2008, there was Indiana's own Jon McLaughlin, who really got people's attention in 2008 when he performed the nominated Disney song "So Close" at the Academy Awards. (BTW, I highly recommend his music).

Eventually someone started playing music on the main stage. It might have been Dave Barnes, the headliner. I don't know. It was strictly straight people's music. I listened for about five minutes then left.

As I left the area, I could see walking down the street, facing towards me, a solitary figure moving in a hurry. Picture an Olympic race walker, with arms pumping and hips swaying. Of course, for someone in the know, it was clear I was seeing the other gay person who decided to attend the event. As he got closer, I could see he was wearing a horribly outdated v-neck shirt, which unfortunately is a fashion cry for help that too many gay men cannot seem to release from their clutches. It was tired when Dustin Erikstrup constantly wore v-neck t-shirts two years ago on Big Brother 8. Now I see Derek Chavez on The Real World Cancun extolling the virtues of the "style" to Bronne Bruzgo. Is it possible that the trend has only recently made it across the desert to Phoenix?

So anyway, the guy walking towards me eventually passes by, and interestingly he actually looked a lot like Derek. Unfortunately, he absolutely reeked of some old style cologne. He must have had it sprayed, splashed, and otherwise hosed on him. After he walked by I waved my hands in front of me in a vain attempt to clear the stench that his trail had left for to walk through.

Now I am home. I have to work on moving all of my xtra pages to a real web host. I had been using an anomaly of Google's page creator to host them with Google for free. Now their page creator platform is being closed in favor of their site creator, and the anomaly has been removed. So far, it's not been too bad getting set up although as an indirect consequence, TvTrick.com was vanishing and reappearing for a horrible period of time today. I hope TrickWire.com doesn't have the same problem.

Boudia, Finchum Both Want To Be The Top

2008-08-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

U.S. Olympic divers David Boudia and Thomas Finchum are partners in synchronized 10m platform, but in the individual 10m, they strive to beat each other and everyone else to win the gold. However, as good friends who both live and train in the Indianapolis, Indiana area, they each make it clear that if one doesn't win they hope the other one does. They are very supportive of one another and have only good things to say. You can tell it's all genuine because they are just so sweet and wholesome like all Hoosiers are.

David Boudia and Thomas Finchum have gotten a lot of attention during the 2008 Beijing games. Early on they only finished fifth in the synchronized event, but their time on air has made a lot of people take notice of the Olympian's talent and boyish good looks. Many favorable comments have been made on the internet by their new admirers. NBC appears to be aware of the interest in them as it frequently shows the pair in the stands watching their fellow divers in the other diving competitions.

A sizable amount of the attention on the net has been to label one or both of them as gay, gay, gay, but unless someone is looking for a wet boyfriend, it's not clear why that seems to be important to some people in this case. After all, Australian 10m diver Matthew Mitcham has already publicly stated his gayness, so if anyone is looking for a gay diver to support, they could go with the official entry. On the other hand, I can understand patriotic Americans wanting to see their own gay in a tuck position.

David Boudia started out at age 5 as a gymnast. He did that for five years but then turned to diving. It was during his gymnastics phase that he first thought about being an Olympian. His earliest memory from watching the Olympics was when he saw the U.S. girls of "The Magnificent Seven" winning the team gold in the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Boudia remembers feeling the excitement with them and knowing that's what he wanted to do also.

While in high school, David Boudia left his public school to be be home schooled. Boudia said, "I definitely think since I've left Noblesville [High School], it's been harder to have a social life, but I am able to have one after practice because when my friends are at school, I'm training. When I'm done with training, I'm able to go and have a good time. It's definitely good to have a social life, and after the Olympics, I'll have even a bigger one when I go to Purdue." Boudia is very excited about being a Boilermaker after Beijing. "Really, right when I get off the plane, I'll be packing up and going to school at Purdue," Boudia said.

When David Boudia prepares himself at Beijing for diving off of the platform, he'll likely find a secluded spot and watch the movie Miracle about the U.S. Olympic hockey team winning a gold medal at 1980 winter games. It's been an essential part of his ritual since 2007. Another thing he does is listen to "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC before his first dive and then listen to more upbeat music to keep his energy up as the competition progresses.

Thomas Finchum got his start in diving when his grandmother noticed him jumping off houseboats on family trips and gave him some pointers and encouraged the family to sign him up for formal diving lessons. The rest is history as Thomas Finchum has become one of the best divers in the world. He trains six hours a day, six days a week, but does find time to enjoy other interests like music, computers and movies.

One of the interesting things about Thomas Finchum is the growth spurt he experienced. At the 2004 U.S. Olympic he was a skinny little kid, 5'3" and 92 pounds. Four years later he had grown to be 6'1" and 150 pounds, enduring aches to his back, wrist and knees along the way. David Boudia is a muscular 5'9" and his size, strength and quickness allow him to do a more difficult dives than the taller Finchum. Thomas Finchum is now long and lean and he can't twist and flip as easily as Boudia. Instead, Finchum adds polish and artistry to his dives.

What I will miss about David Boudia and Thomas Finchum after the Olympics.

David Boudia video

David Boudia Video

2008-08-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Video of David Boudia preparing to go to the 2008 Beijing Olympic games:

Jonathan Horton Is A Star On The Bar

2008-08-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Horton, the star of the 2008 U.S. men's gymnastics team, went big for his last routine in Beijing and it paid off with an individual silver medal on the high bar. At 5'1", Horton disproves the claim that everything's bigger in Texas, but making up for it with great skill, big personality, and effusive language, he showed that American spunk could triumph even while the Chinese men were dominating the sport.

Going into the event Horton knew that his usual high bar routine would not score high enough for a medal, so in the three days preceding the competition, he planned on how to add the extra difficulty that would give him the added points that he felt he needed to make it to the medals stand. Amazingly, when he did his more difficult routine he did it superbly and actually received higher scores from every judge than the gold medalist did. Unfortunately, the difficulty of the gold medalist's routine was still .3 higher and that was enough to give him an overall .025 edge over Horton.

Earlier, in the all-around competition, Horton placed 9th, but was only 4/10 of a point from the silver medal.

The gold medal on the high bar went to Chinese gymnast Zou Kai (left), who had previously also won the gold for the floor exercise. Zou is a very fresh-faced 20 year old. He's cute but I don't think I find him attractive enough to say I really want his wonton.

The stud of the event was of course Jonathan Horton. The Olympics coverage has made him a popular figure with the television viewers, who have admired his big muscles and his little baby maker bump. He looked pretty good in both the white and the red team shirts, although I really like the blue one he wore for the high bar. On the other hand, it does kind of make him look a little less like a junior Super Friend and more like someone who is just ready to crawl into their race car shaped bed.

The third man on note is bronze medalist Fabian Hambuechen of Germany. I wouldn't have minded if he had won the gold, but that would be just so the Aryan in me could hear and sing along with "Das Lied der Deutschen". The thing I have no explanation for is why Fabian Hambüchen kept embracing and touching Jonathan. Fabian apparently wanted to get close but Jonathan's attitude seemed to be more "Can't we just be friends?"

*** I want to add a statement here that I don't understand why people on the internet are so critical of Tim Daggett. Sometimes he has to be the messenger of news that viewers don't want to hear, but he's just giving an honest assessment. He's a sweetheart and I like him.

Inexplicable reference to being gay and shirtless inserted here.

Jonathan Horton enjoying the afterglow (of winning the medal, not from being with Fabian)

Jonathan ritualistically praying to the chalk bucket

Jonathan ready to be disappointed again from finding a "You must be this tall to use this apparatus" sign

Olympian Raj Bhavsar

2008-08-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

The news media presents Michael Phelps' gold medals as the highlight of the Beijing Olympics, but for me the highlight is the triumph of Raj Bhavsar and the U.S. men's gymnastics team in earning the bronze medal in the team competition. My heart sings, "O joy! O glorious rapture!"

I had admired Raj for his ability going back to the beginning of the decade and was disappointed when I found out he wasn't going to be on the 2004 Athens Olympic team. For whatever reason, I hadn't seen or paid attention to whatever happened prior to the start of the games and was just surprised when I watched the competition and saw Raj, who I at least knew was one of our star gymnasts, not on the arena floor with our American team. Then I found out the circumstances of how he had deserved to be on the team but had been passed over so that someone else could be included. This really bothered my sense of right and wrong. My hope was that if Raj could, that he would come back in 2008 and get a second chance.

I watched the nationals and the trials this year and felt good that Raj would comfortably be put in the middle of our six member team, no problem. When I heard that Raj had been cheated a second time and denied inclusion, I felt sick to my stomach. For someone to come back after four years and at his age do better than almost all of the other entrants and then be robbed again, I felt terrible for the injustice that was being done in my country's name. It is my belief and I have no doubt in my mind, that the basis for his exclusion was blatant discrimination. That conclusion is not based on emotion; it is based on deductive reasoning. There is no other rational explanation, although pretexts have been referred to such as some mysterious, complex formula that determined third in trials wasn't really third.

I've never met the man, although I did once get his autograph at an exhibition in Indianapolis, and I don't know any more about him that what is generally known by the public. What I do know about him from what I have seen, is that this is a man that embodies all that I have been told that the Olympics is all about. He's a fighter, he's a champion, he's a role model, and happily he's all-American.

So I celebrate the victory of our American team and in particular the ability of one of its members to overcome adversity and to win not only for himself but for everyone that has ever earned something by great endeavor and then had it stolen away. Huzzah!

Photo of U.S. men's gymnastics team

I had though about titling this post "Little Raj, Happy at Last", as a too cute reuse of the title of the Gloria Vanderbilt bio-pic, but I realized that with Raj's amazing attitude he was and would be happy no matter what, and the most important thing is to acknowledge that Raj has taken the rightful title that no one else can take from him again.

Raj Gets It In The End

2008-07-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

Olympian Raj Bhavsar

Raj Bhavsar, having been screwed out of an earned spot on the U.S. Olympic team twice by his fellow countrymen, finally could no longer be denied. When Paul Hamm could no longer pretend that he would be physically ready to compete in Beijing, he withdrew from the U.S. gymnastics team and allowed Raj, an alternate, to become part of the official team.

It is generally acceded by everyone except the USA Gymnastics organization that Raj Bhavsar has the heart of a champion. He is a real example of what it means to be a great American (and Texan). He has great spirit, integrity, personality, and intelligence and is a personification of what the games are all about. Besides these things I also like that he looks good shirtless and with his height he would be a terrific travel-size boyfriend, but I digress.

Jonathan Horton

In 2004 and 2008, the selection committee for the Olympic team allowed their base prejudices against an Indo-American to prevent them from selecting Raj Bhavsar to compete for America at the Olympics. Fortunately, after Paul Hamm withdrew they allowed an objective computer process to pick Raj over the other two alternates, Alexander Artemev and David Durante. Presumably the computer program had been altered this time to allow a Desi to be selected as output.

It's not going to be easy for Raj joining the team at this time, as he hasn't been given the chance to prepare mentally the way the other team members have been. It also won't help from a spirit perspective being on a team that has lesser gymnasts that were selected ahead of him. If anyone can overcome these kind of obstacles it would be Raj Bhavsar, so I hope for the best for him.

Justin Spring

The justification for using a selection committee is so that somehow the "best" team can be put together for the sake of the U.S. to increase its medal tally. If in their analysis they decide that an Indo-American gymnast would not receive good scores from international judges, then for the good of the U.S. such an athlete would have to be denied inclusion. It can be seen that with the unlimited power to do these kind of things, the committee can just as easily include its own favoritism and discriminatory preferences.

Well, we don't have a Soviet-style sports system where it is important to win at all costs for the good of the state, so these philosophies are really not acceptable in this country. It's supposed to be about the athletes and celebrating what each of them can bring themselves to accomplish. The selection should be in their hands according to how they perform and not be overruled by anyone else's whim.

Of course the most patently stupid thing about all of this is the idea that the committee could predict with any certainty how the gymnasts would perform at the Olympics on each apparatus. Everyone knows that the best gymnasts can fall to pieces and the ones in the middle of the pack can have the performance of their life. So to declare that any given set of gymnasts will maximize the team score on some future date is absurd.

Joe Hagerty

Things could be improved for 2012 if the Olympic team trials were made to actually mean something. The team largely should be put together by the achievements at the trials with a few spots left over to a committee to fill in any gaps. The top three or four gymnasts could be automatically selected using a mathematical formula that is based on the all-around and event scores and is a formula known to everyone from the start. No more secret methods in backrooms that are contrived to deliver whatever results the committee wants them to. No more pretending that anyone can predict what a gymnast's score will be on a given apparatus on a specific date in the future. The only thing that is known for certain is the results from the national championship and the trials and that's what it should be based on. Anything else is no better than using tea leaves, or in honor of Beijing, the I-Ching.

Kevin Tan

BTW, you can't compare putting together an Olympic team with putting together a major league sports team. With the latter, a good player can just go to another team if his skills aren't needed in one place or another. With the U.S Olympic team it is the only game in town. There's no second choice teams to go to. There's no reason to destroy callously someone's dream just to add another tally mark to a meaningless national medal total.

Sasha Artemev

Update (August 8): Morgan Hamm also withdrew because of a previous injury. His replacement is the erratic Sasha Artemev. It's not clear yet whether Artemev is a better choice than David Durante. The one thing that Sasha had going for him that was clear is that he is ethnically European and that is something that would give him a big advantage in being selected by the USA Gymnastics organization, disturbingly.

Finchum And Boudia In Sync

2008-07-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

While gay Australian diver Matthew Mitcham may be both an objective and sentimental favorite to win the gold medal for the men's 10 meter platform diving event at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, let's not forget the home team of Thomas Finchum (at right)and David Boudia. In this case home is both the USA and my own Indianapolis area as both American divers currently live here. The two are contenders for both the 10m and (together) the 10m synchronized.

See also: Boudia and Finchum Both Want To Be The Top

Technically, Boudia was born in Texas while Finchum was born in the Indianapolis enclave of Beech Grove, so Finchum is the one true Hoosier and I have to make him my favorite for this reason. It looks like the media is going to make Boudia appear to be the better of the two, but it really depends on which day it is as to which one is on top. They are very close in their abilities, which is useful for them being synchronized partners together.

At the U.S. Olympic diving trials in Indianapolis, Boudia (at left) finished first, but that was with a huge head start score given to him because of a placement in a previous international competition. Finchum actually scored higher on his dives than Boudia at the trials.

I'm hoping that Thomas can be another Greg Louganis in every way.

At the trials Finchum was noticeably sedate but hopefully he will get his spirit back by Beijing.

Another note about the trials: when you see diving in person you see how cocky acting the male divers can be walking around the pool. I attribute it as a counter-action to having to be in public wearing Speedos that are tighter than an extra small condom and show every bit of the gingerbread. The best looking diver was probably JJ Kinzbach but Nick McCrory deserves an honorable mention for keeping his hair on his body.

As with a large number of other sports governing bodies in the U.S., USA Diving is headquartered in Indianapolis, the amateur sports capital of America. The national diving training center is in Indianapolis and having a centralized training location here appears to have improved recently the quality of America's chances in international competition.

SeaWorld: A Review

2008-06-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

SeaWorld is one of the major attractions in Orlando, but it is a lot like the old-time roadside attractions of yesteryear. It doesn't have the high production values and quality showmanship of DisneyWorld and Universal Studios, but it does offer some things that boys can enjoy.

The number one feature of the park is the killer whale shows, featuring the star orca character "Shamu". The standard tricks that they perform can be an entertaining way to pass a half hour, a couple times in your life, but the real sight to see are Sea World's male trainers in their wetsuits. The tight fit of the soaked suits accentuates the sexy contours of the male physique and creates the appearance of a hunky costumed superhero. Their daytime show "Believe" suggests that kids may dream about becoming trainers themselves after seeing one in their youth, although the sight in reality has probably led more to rubber fetishes than sea mammal training.

There are two killer whale shows, a daytime version and a night one, with both having several performances. The tricks are largely the same, so if you only have time for one of them, go to the night show. It's more exciting with its rock music score and it doesn't have the sappiness of the silly day one.

The other animal shows are rather boring and best appreciated by younger children. They don't have any serious "wow" factor for adults. Worse, their quality would be considered "bad show" at a Disney park. Walt zealously didn't want the magic to be spoiled for visitors by seeing the back stage work, whereas staging at SeaWorld is practically non-existent and stage hands wandering through the show are the norm.

The worst show is the ski show. It's a total waste of time. There are like two minor ramp jumps, one high dive, and that's about it. No traditional human pyramids or flag waving. I'd rather see the Go-Go's perform their song "Vacation" in front of a green screen.

A funner time can be had by parking yourself in front of the display window of the underwater entertainment at "The Oyster's Secret" store. The gimmick of the shop is that they sell pearl bearing oysters laying in a large tank of water that you can direct the staff divers to bring to the surface for you. In between retrieving oysters the divers dance underwater to the music of a DJ playing lively popular tunes. The boy dancer/divers are really cute and a lot more exciting to watch than your average sweaty, disinterested go-go boy. It's a captivating sight. Seeing young Eric doing his moves in the tank is like seeing a character from the "The Sims" game come to life.

The most important visitor tip is to remember that the park is owned by Anheuser-Busch, which means that there is a lot of beer sold there. Management knows that they don't have to work as hard to provide entertainment for its mildly intoxicated visitors and the shows are created with that mind. So, if you want to experience the park as it was intended, take frequent Bud breaks and laugh at sea lions playing pirates.

USA Male Gymnasts Work It

2008-05-28T23:01:00.000-07:00

In the movie Lust In The Dust, Divine's character said "It's always the little one got something to prove." In the men's artistic gymnastics competition at the 2008 U.S. Visa Championships in Houston, a lot of little ones had something to prove in trying to position themselves for a spot on the U.S. Olympic team. The six individual events had six different winners, but the coveted all-around title went to David Sender (at right). Paul Hamm, the gold medalist from the 2004 Olympics, had been leading after the first day of competition but he was forced to withdraw because of a hand injury.

David Sender has always reminded me of Jason Biggs in American Pie. I expect to see him signal that he is ready to start a routine by holding one hand in the air and using the other hand to hold a pie plate in front of his personal John Thomas flair. He's a serious competitor though to be a top gymnast and should be on our team. He said “I was thrilled to win the all-around, but more importantly I proved to the selection committee that I can do two nights of steady gymnastics." Two steady nights of swinging your legs over your head and stretching your perineal muscles? I say, you're selected.

After Sender, the order of the next six gymnasts for the all-around (but not necessarily in the order of wanting to see them shirtless) was Jonathan Horton, Joe Hagerty, David Durante, Raj Bhavsar, Alexander Artemev, and Guillermo Alvarez.

I'm glad to see that Raj Bhavsar is still hanging in there (no pun intended). He was totally screwed when he was given only an alternate position on the 2004 Olympic team so that undeserving Blaine Wilson could be put on the team to get one more chance at winning a medal. The U.S. team got a silver medal that year, but the one put around Wilson's neck rightfully should have been Bhavsar's. I really hope the wrong that was done to Raj will be rectified this year and that he will be representing our country in Beijing.

Speaking of how the judges favor some gymnasts no matter how they perform, there is an interesting article on the International Gymnast website (link) that discusses how the U.S. judges overscore their favorites. It's this kind of thing that allowed Blaine Wilson to win so many U.S. championships when he really wasn't very good. The international judges weren't so lenient and that's why he didn't do as well outside this country. Thank goodness this year he has finally retired. Our American judges would have kept giving him a good score even if he had to use a walker to do the floor exercise.

Here are the top finishers in the individual events:

Vault: David Sender
Floor exercise: Morgan Hamm
Pommel horse: Yewki Tomita
Still rings: Kevin Tan
Parallel bars: Justin Spring
Horizontal bar: Joseph Hagerty

It has occurred to me that being able to do some of these events could have practical, real-world benefits. A pommel horse routine could be a highly effective, albeit unorthodox method of giving someone a deep-tissue massage. A vault would be handy for getting over the beverage cart in the aisle of an airplane. The floor exercise is exercise, which is always good, and putting one foot on the floor while extending the other heavenward is the same position as in the internationally recognized signal of "I'll be ready for my money shot in five minutes."

On the other hand, the parallel bars are only useful in allowing Native-type people to carry you to their sacrifice without them having to bind you to the poles. And the still rings is something that is probably already banned under one of the Geneva Conventions concerning torture.

I have to mention that Guillermo Alvarez (at right) is still one of my favorites. He's good-looking, mild-mannered and intellectual. Plus he has the strength to balance me in any position. Perfect.

Gay men take note: the Mens final of the Visa Championships will be shown on NBC on June 8th. The U.S. Olympic gymnastic team trials will be held in Philadelphia later in June.

Pervious comments on gymnastics and television coverage of the gymnastics finals.

2008 Indianapolis 500 Spectacle

2008-05-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

The 92nd Indianapolis 500 automobile race was held on May 25th, 2008. It's still the largest single day sporting event in the world in the largest sports facility in the world (250,000 seats). "The Greatest Spectacle in Racing" is a great place to see the highest class of auto racing and some other sights that make it fun to watch.

The most popular driver and the one that most people would like to have seen win was probably Danica Patrick, but my favorite was Marco Andretti (seen at right). He's one of the top racers on the track (and hopefully in the sack). He maintains tight control whether making a pass or driving hard in the short chute. For the 500 and maybe a few races afterwards, he has sponsorship from Lucasfilm and Blockbuster, driving the "#26 Team Indiana Jones Presented by Blockbuster" car. As a consequence, his sponsors had him wear an entertaining firesuit intended to look like an Indiana Jones costume. The brown jacket and shoulder strap part actually looked cool, but the drawn-on gun holsters made the bottom half look like kids pajama pants and the fedora was just too precious. Marco placed third this year.

A lot of the other drivers are pretty hot also, but they're hidden in the encasement of the cars during the race. The visible guys are in the pit crews. In their firesuits, handling all of that automotive equipment, they look rather studly. Of course it helps that they are all wearing protective helmets. It's the equivalent of the proverbial paper bag over the head. As long as they keep it on, I don't mind waving my green flag at them.

There are also the female drivers, notably Danica. The run-in with Roger Penske's driver Ryan Briscoe coming out of the pits cost her a top 5 finish but it at least put her in the headlines anyway. She got out of her car and marched towards Briscoe in a manner that was the perfect definition of "fierce". She was diverted from giving him a deserving bitch slap but she gets points for making the attempt. Briscoe on the other hand was a dick for not being man enough to admit that he caused the accident. Danica needs to pour some sugar in his fuel tank.

DWTS winner Helio Castroneves placed fourth. He was one of seven Brazilians in the field. Men of Brazil are attracted to a party and so it is natural they would come to the party that is Indy in the month of May.

The Indy 500 is the premiere event of the Indy Racing League (IRL), the main open wheel racing series in the U.S.

An Acknowledgement Of Super Bowl XLII

2008-02-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

I was noticing that stats were down on blog visitors and I realized that people were probably watching Super Bowl XLII. I hadn't planned to watch it since without the Colts there I didn't have a dog in the fight. I turned it on just before half time but fortunately with Tivo I was able to skip most of the monotonous moving around the field and players banging into each other, which is to say, the actual playing of the game.

I focused on just getting the gist of it all and looking at some of the commercials. I might have watched for any good looking players but I don't know of any players on either team that would have drawn me to watching them. I don't care for Tom Brady's looks and neither of the Manning brothers has ever done anything for me. The Mannings and Britney Spears just remind me there is something strange going on down there in the bayou country.

With the commercials, I liked seeing Justin Timberlake get sucked and then knocked out by a TV for Pepsi. I was a little ambivalent about seeing Richard Simmons avoid being struck by a car thanks to Bridgestone tires. With Senator Bill Frist and James Carville for Coke I was just confused. Does Coke really think the people watching the game would have any idea who they are and how they were in any way relevant to a soft drink?

I suppose this year's culturally insensitive ad would be SalesGenie.com, using a patently offensive stereotype in panda-face.

There was more bashing of Cavemen by advertisers, this time by Bud Light. Why do major brands of beer even bother running commercials? Does anyone change their beer buying preference based on these? You could force me to watch a thousand hours of Bud Light commercials (although don't think I wouldn't put up a fight) and I would never drink that swill.

My favorite ad in the first half was Brady Quinn consuming some kind of edible something or other called Myoplex. He's so boyishly cute. My favorite in the second half was right at the end. A guy walks through the city carrying his red Dell notebook computer. Along the way he gets groped, kissed, and his butt patted by strangers. I wish this sort of behavior was more socially acceptable. Maybe I would get in less trouble.

Lysacek Beats The Rodent Weir

2008-01-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

One of the bright spots of Winter is the return of figure skating on television. It is young men wearing wonderfully revealing raiments, artistically gliding across the ice accompanied by the sonorous strains of beautiful music. It is a time for the spotlight to be shined on sumptuous overly developed thighs and buttocks. It is a time to once again see reigning U.S. Mens champion Evan Lysacek.

I've been impressed with Evan Lysacek since the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino. There he triumphed over severe illness and a bad performance in the short program to place third in the free and fourth overall. He's got great character and quiet dignity. His skating is not always as steady as his enduring willingness to do his best, but his good nature makes him a winner every time.

NBC showed the Men's Free Program of the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, featuring Evan, on a Sunday night in prime time, which is pretty good for this kind of thing. I think it is more a result of the current writers strike than a change in network TV's usual sidelining of men's artistic sports.

Unfortunately, the viewing audience was also forced to see the vermin Johnny Weir. I used to be a supporter of Johnny Weir, but his attitude and even his appearance are just disgusting. At the start of the show he mentioned being referred to as a princess, which is ludicrous since that would imply some regalness, while Johnny Weir is all trash. He trash talked Evan Lysacek, saying that could never have been friends in real life. That's true - Evan Lysacek would have been with the cool kids while Johnny Weir would have been the kid every one beat up and from whom everyone stole their lunch money. He also said that he was not a religious person, which is good since then I know he won't be offended when I tell him to go to Hell.

Evan Lysacek's Greek Orthodox faith worked out pretty good for him in the competition, since he won the free program and that gave him the championship when he tied Johnny Weir on the overall score.

It's sad that someone like Johnny Weir is so undeniably talented. The problem is all in his attitude. He needs to study Evan Lysacek to see how a champion should behave. When given the opportunity, Evan complimented Johnny and said nothing bad about him. In the end, they both did superior jobs, but Evan is who I would rather be my nation's champion.

Kudos to Ryan Bradley and Stephen Carriere for a job well done. Both are kind of cute in their own way.

Straight In Your Face

2007-12-06T22:52:00.000-08:00

When there are suggestions that a male celebrity has something other than straight tendencies, the object of suspicion usually states as adamantly as possible how straight he is while lamely trying not to appear homophobic in any way. The problem is that no matter how much they may insist that they are cool with the gay thing and how some of their best friends are gay, the fact that they are so desperate to convince people of their straightness is proof positive that they think there is something terribly wrong about being considered potentially gay. A recent example of such a reaction came after some fanciful editing on VH1's America's Most Smartest Model made it look like two of the male stars of the show might want to be more than changing room buddies. While one of the models went out of his way to set the record straight in a routine way, the other made a statement that I think should be the gold standard for responding to such innuendo.

Ironically, it was the comic in the pair that insisted on playing the straight man. On the show Jeff Pickel was portrayed as insatiable hugger who used any excuse to give fellow contestant Brett Novek a full body embrace. After the show aired, Pickel in one interview repetitively and strenuously expressed his aversion to boy basters in general and specifically the Hebrew National belonging to his now roommate Brett. I don't think there was anything unusually bad about Pickel's attitude or words; they were just disappointingly normal for the situation. To repeat as many times as he did that he only has straight feelings can only stress how awful he would feel to be thought of otherwise.

On the other hand, Brett, in his post-show interview for VH1, only said what needed to be said to clarify the matter. He said that he and Pickel were just friends. It was the kind of response that a celebrity might say about a friendship that they have with someone of the opposite gender, where they don't go further into detail about why their friend would be so unappealing to them as more than that. It is clear that Brett is both smart and a gentleman and other celebrities could learn a lesson from his honest and considerate ways.

More Jeff Pickel. More Brett Novek.

Brett Novek perplexed by Pickel

Roman Art In Indy

2007-11-18T22:32:00.000-08:00

I recently had the opportunity to experience the "Roman Art From The Louvre" exhibition at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. The exhibition contains 184 Roman works from the 1st century B.C. thru the 4th century A.D. These works represent the largest number of loaned pieces from the Louvre for any single show ever. For anyone that is unlikely to travel to Paris to see these items at their permanent home, this is an excellent opportunity to see such a large number of excellent examples of Roman Art in one place.

I have been to the Louvre several times but like many vistors, I didn't pay much attention to the Roman works since there are so many other wonderful things to see there. Now here at the IMA, I was able to spend an entire day getting very close and studying intently all the works of this collection. Their placement and the overall exhibition design were created by the Louvre curators and the IMA staff and the result was a very visitor-friendly layout that allowed ample space to view the works from different angles and to stand and ponder them for as long as you would like.

One of the more interesting works was the bust of Antinous as Osiris (above). Antinous was the boyfriend of the emperor Hadrian. While Hadrian was a bear, Antinous was a stud pup. I knew of the story before, but when I stood face to face with Antinous I could see why Hadrian was so enamored with him. The photo above doesn't look as good as the bust does in real life. He should have been selected Mr. Gay Rome 130 A.D. if he hadn't died unexpectedly that year. As a consolation he was made a god and a city was named after him. Nowadays guys just get a sash and their picture taken.

The exhibition continues at the IMA through January 6, 2008, and then travels to Seattle and Oklahoma City before returning home to Paris.

Gayborhoods

2007-11-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

An article in the New York Times addressed the potential decline of gay enclaves in the United States. The article stated that there is an ongoing population shift for gay people away from well known places like San Francisco's Castro district and West Hollywood, to less expensive and less urban locations. Places like Louisville, El Paso, Albuquerque, and Virginia Beach are experiencing sharp increases in the number of same-sex couples. The article discusses why this is happening and what it may mean to gay culture.

The concern is that gay neighborhoods will become passé, and with their diminishment would come a decline in the sense of gay community, cohesiveness, and identity.

It seems unlikely that the gay cultural centers would actually dissipate. Consider the "Chinatowns" across North America. Those bastions of traditional Chines culture are quite alive even though ethnic Chinese people live everywhere else on the continent as well. Likewise, it should then be expected that large metro areas will continue to have a Boystown, even while the majority of gay people live elsewhere. They will continue to serve a function as a meeting place and a physical nexus for the gays in the wider geographic area, but not a place of exile from the rest of the country.

There should be no fear from seeing gays spread out. For one thing, there are too many to fit in the established gay ghettos and so it is a necessity that many find other places to live. Another thing is that gay people are like straight people too in that some people like to live in highly urban areas and other people like to live outside it. It is not hard to believe that many gays also dream about the proverbial house in the suburbs with the picket fence.

For me, I like to visit gay neighborhoods but I don't think I would be necessarily happy living in one. I know that when I travel I like to get a hotel near gay areas but not quite in it. I've pondered this attitude and the conclusion I have come to is that gay areas are barragingly gay, gay, gay, which is okay for a short period of time, but for people like me who see that attribute as only one of several that make them who they are, it can be stifling of all the other interesting things in life.

I don't like the stereotype that gays need to be city dwellers. The NYT article had a quote from a demographer: “'Twenty years ago, if you were gay and lived in rural Kansas, you went to San Francisco or New York,' he said. 'Now you can just go to Kansas City.'” At least there is an acknowledgment that gay people don't have to move to New York, but now there needs to be education that gay people live in rural Kansas also. I agree that it would not be as easy to live in the hinterland and I give those people credit. That's why I think that the verse about being able to make it anywhere if you can make it in New York seems kind of ludicrous. It would be more accurate to state that if you are gay and can make it in rural Kansas, you can make it anywhere.

Perhaps the theme song for young gays deciding where to live in the world should be R.E.M.'s Stand (in the place where you are).

Print Out (Part 2)

2007-10-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

There has been some hype about Genre magazine relaunching with some significant changes, and since I had previously identified it as providing the least value in major gay lifestyle magazines, I was curious to see if there would actually be any improvements or not. I was a little surprised to find that it is pretty much the same, and certainly provides no new reason to select it off the newsstand instead of any of its competitors.

The changes to the magazine were promised by its new editor-in-chief, Neal Boulton. To create buzz around any such changes, he characterized them as being part of trend towards a "post gay America". The concept is so ludicrous I won't waste space discussing it here, but will summarize that Boulton wanted to use it as an excuse to make Genre a more generic (i.e. less distinctively gay) mens magazine. To clarify, he is looking for some way to sell more subscriptions and increase newsstand sales and his thought is that he can do it by broadening his target market segment to be all men.

Boulton said in his inaugural editor's letter that he wanted Genre to be a "magazine for every man". That's strange, because looking through the first issue it is not clear how a story about a gay porn star or a gay rugby team would necessarily appeal to "every man".

The new editor also explained that gay interests like wanting a hot car, a hot body, and hot clothes are things that everyone else in America shares. How out of a touch can a person be? Straight men are still buying pickup trucks, chowing to excess at the Golden Corral buffet, and buying their "good" clothes at Wal-Mart.

The truth is, that like detergent companies that add an extra drop of fragrance to their product and call it "new and improved", Boulton so far has made minor changes for show instead of working on the actual quality of what he is trying to sell. To me it looks like the same magazine except for two things. One is that the front cover is trying to mimic tabloids by emphasizing the proven trick of using numbers to convince people that there is a lot of material inside (e.g "101 Ways to ..."). The second thing, in the October issue, is a two page spread on motorcycles. Actually, it was only a one page article with a facing title page consisting primarily of a picture of one motorcycle. In usual Genre tradition, the magazine makes sure it doesn't overwork its writers. Ditto for the page on Manuka Mule - a whole page for instructions on making a drink consisting of four ingredients. I'd like to be the person who got paid for those two minutes worth of work.

I will give credit for reducing the number of pages devoted to average Joe's. While some in the past have been good to look at, their inane answers to even dumber questions only showed what useless slugs they are.

Unfortunately for the magazine, it may intentionally be moving further away from having any raison d'etre at all. If looking for a real gay lifestyle magazine, for four cents less on the cover price, Instinct would a better deal. The October issue of Genre and the November issue of Instinct both had 96 pages (including Genre's useless 15 page "special advertising section") but Instinct just has more worthwhile copy in it. Genre took me less than 10 minutes to go through it cover to cover, while I am still not done with Instinct as it always takes several sittings to get through.

Bachelor Of The Year

2007-10-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Last week I watched the annual cheesy photo-op of Cosmo magazine's 50 hottest bachelors on the Today show. Seeing a sample of men from each of the states provides a nice variety of eye candy. Of course they are really only the hottest of the limited number of people who actually applied, but it still made for a pleasant view. I was never interested in collecting the 50 state quarters, but this is the kind of cross country collection that I could get into. Hurrah for federalism!

Cosmo magazine annually has its readers submit and vote for their favorite bachelors. One bachelor is selected from each state to be eligible to be selected the magazine's bachelor of the year. The 50 men are paraded through New York City with a shirt advertising the magazine and their home state. In exchange for their dignity, the winner is awarded an oversized cardboard check for $10,000.

The Today segment was short, beginning with a pan of the man mob, followed by Ann Curry trying futilely to hold onto her journalistic integrity, and ending with an inexplicable push-up "contest" between Maryland and Illinois. I had to go to the magazine's website to find out more. There I found pictures of all 50 men along with some facts and some personal comments, which were of the low quality variety that you typically find attached to fold-out, pin-up models.

Perusing through the pictures, I quickly realized that the best men came from the midwest Great Lakes and Great Plains states. Comparing region to region, it wasn't even close. Corn-fed beef reigns supreme. It makes me want to eat some corn on the cob instead of using it for its other purpose.

The comments the guys made taught me something about straight men - they are surprisingly needy. Examples:

Relationship must-have: “I’ll do anything for a girl I love. But I want her to be devoted to me too.”
Dating deal breaker: “When girls talk only about themselves. Make space for me too!”
Sweet chick move he digs: “When I get separated at a party from a woman I’m dating, I love when she comes back to me for a bit to let me know she’s thinking about me.”
Chick trait he craves: “I hope to meet someone who is a good listener. I can talk a lot, and I want to sense that she’s really listening to what I’m saying.”
Hint from a hottie: “The typical guy needs to be reassured every once in a while that his girlfriend still has strong feelings for him.”

Other comments involved promoting the stereotype that men are easy to understand and that women are not. From Mr. Ohio (at left): [If he had a superpower:] “I’d want to be able read girls’ minds. Then I’d write a book about it to help out other guys, since we’re all in the dark!”

That straight women buy into this load of crap makes me think a little less of them. The honest response is, "If I can pretend that I don't know what you're talking about because I'm a man, I've got a great excuse for ignoring you and doing whatever the hell I want to."

A third theme running through the comments was the need for the men to get away from their girls. South Carolina: "I like to go to a secluded place in the mountains and spend time relaxing and reflecting.” I know these guys are straight (or at least have to pretend to be in order to win), but isn't this what Ennis Del Mar wanted also?

The winner was Ohio. Best dark horses: Alabama and Utah.

My Fair Lady

2007-10-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I stumbled across an airing of My Fair Lady, which was part of a Lerner and Lowe movie showcase on the TCM channel. For some unknown reason I don't have this movie in my dvd collection, so I took the opportunity to watch it again at this time although I have seen it many times before. The musical is one of my favorites going back to when I was a kid.

I was reminded of a scene from the movie Jeffrey where a priest, played by Nathan Lane, explained God to Jeffrey. The priest showed Jeffrey the original cast recording album of My Fair Lady with the Al Hirschfeld drawing on the cover (below) and said, "Here's how you see god. He's a Columbia recording artist. You got your idea of God where most gay kids get it: My Fair Lady - Original Cast." He went on to indicate that God was personified by Lerner & Lowe and that he could feel the presence of God when listening to a great Broadway musical.

I don't how much that resonated with other viewers of Jeffrey, but it struck a chord with me because of how much I loved the album as a kid - the same LP that Nathan pointed to. I was surprised to hear it being referenced in a movie as being an important part of gay culture. I was too young to know about any of that at the time of course. I only knew I like to play the songs and memorize the words. I wonder if my family on the other hand had an inkling of what it might mean that a little kid was doing a complete rendition for them of Why Can't The English? and Just You Wait.

The musical itself has a lot of things in it that gay men can relate to. For starters, how about the song A Hymn to Him (why can't a woman be more like a man?) Then there are the "confirmed bachelors", Higgins and Pickering. And of course, the whole nature of transformation where a person is plucked from a lowly life to become part of fabulous and fashionable society.

For gay kids who aren't sure of why they feel the way they do, the words of I Could Have Danced All Night share this uncertainty. "I'll never know what made it so exciting. Why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he, began to [insert boyish activity here, e.g. wrestle, play ball, go swimming] with me, I could have [done it and him all night]."

The longing for male affection is expressed poignantly with "Someone's head resting on my knee. Warm and tender as he can be. Who takes good care of me - oh, wouldn't it be loverly?"

Lastly, there are the expressions of stalker Freddy, wandering around Professor Higgin's neighborhood hoping to see Eliza. I have also felt the heart flutter from just knowing that you are near someone you are attracted to. Oh those wonderful halcyon days before the advent of restraining orders.

Sunday In The Park With Me

2007-10-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

I spent some contemplative time this past Sunday walking the trails of the nearby Fort Harrison State Park. It was a good opportunity to enjoy the weather of this never-ending summer. The air is still warm and the trees still green.

The trails in this park are an easy and pleasant walk, but quite long. Fort Harrison is twice the size of New York City's Central Park, and also surrounded by urban area. (Another park within Indianapolis is Eagle Creek city park, which is 6 times bigger than Central Park.) Of course being in Indiana there is no worry of mugging or wilding.

The thing that bothered me as I carried my takeout food from Arby's on my way to a scenic spot to eat it was the uneasiness from wondering what people passing were thinking about seeing a man by himself walking into the secluded woods. There have been plenty of news stories about men everywhere being arrested while cruising for sex in public places like parks, so it would be something that could easily occur to people. To ward off such thoughts, I brandished my sandwich and drink before me so that anyone could see I was there to picnic and not to pick dick.

I personally don't have a problem with forest f***ing or even getting wood in the woods, but it's crazy to risk arrest from choosing public venues for this activity. It's also not so good for the reputation of the gay community for people to think we all go to parks to literally troll under the bridge.

An idea I've had for awhile has been the establishment of private clubs owning gay nature preserves. I don't know if being on private land for use by members only would protect the participants but it would seem to make things easier for everyone. It would be easy to look down on this, but there may be something to that theory that men are genetically hunters. They go to the woods to hunt for that wascal wamwod.

In Britain it seems that they understand this. In Bristol, a group of firemen were disciplined for just shining a flashlight on four men "dogging" each other in a park. They were fined £1000, demoted, and order to attend an equality course. No action was taken against the doggers. Was this a right in the Magna Carta that somehow did not make it to our shores?

What The Hell Are You Looking At?

2007-10-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

In Oprah's magazine (July issue), Martha Beck's column addressed self-consciousness. She gave a scenario for her readers where they go to a party feeling pretty good about themselves until they happen to see their reflection there. "The dress isn't just tight; it fits like Luciano Pavarotti's diving suit. Your hair looks as though a crazed weasel nested, bore young, and died there. Aghast, you wobble off your high heels and sprain an ankle. All eyes are glued on you. All conversation focuses on your disgrace. Everyone begins texting hilarious descriptions of you from their cell phones."

She goes on to state that the feeling that people are watching and judging you is largely an imaginary perception known as "the spotlight effect". Evidence is given that shows that others only notice you at about half the level you think they do. For attention whores, this is sad news. For everyone else, it is suppose to let you know that you shouldn't let your social interactions suffer because of the fear of being ridiculed. People aren't going to care what you do or what you look like.

I don't doubt Beck's conclusions from the straight world. However, in the gay world, you'd get more accurate advice from Carrie's mom ("They're all going to laugh at you!"). Well, not everyone will, but some will. I know this from participating in enough group situations where everyone passing by is fodder for incessant catty comments. I got so use to talking that way, I even did it with my family. Of course, they don't understand this part of the culture and just get offended by my sharp, incisive comments.

The funny thing is that I can dish out, but I really can't take it. I hate to be ridiculed. I go way out of my way to avoid any situation that may subject me to being made fun of. Obviously knowing what I know could have a deleterious effect on my willingness to be in gay social situations.

I manage using a few principles I learned along the way. One way is to tell yourself that "using only the power of my mind, I will bar the doors and then unwrap the fire hose..." (Just kidding.) For anyone who cares about this I provide the following advice:

Go out with someone else who draws attention. The cat's claws generally go out for only the easiest prey in the group.
Choose the right clothes. If you are large and well proportioned, dress down with neutral colors. If smaller, or not well proportioned, or have noticeable flaws, dress up with clearly more expensive clothing and brighter colors. This may seem counter-intuitive, but like mixing an acid with a base, the clothes work with you to neutralize the problem.
Remember that the wall and/or doorway is your enemy. Stay away. Being there screams "I am ready to be savagely critiqued."
Last, and most important, is the phrase "F*** you!!" Say it to yourself repeatedly as if you were addressing everyone around you. The concept is realizing that no one else is any better than you are and screw them if they don't understand that yet. This also helps you exhibit the necessary level of attitude to show you are also a formidable part of the pack.

Photos are from the movie Another Gay Movie, which for a parody of a dumb genre, is surprisingly funny.

Bigger Parts For Male Extras

2007-10-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

An article in the New York Observer last month examined the lessening of the taboo of full frontal male nudity on film, video, and stage. Being the Observer, the article veered from the prurient reasons for it, to a polemic about how in the age of Hillary the male member is being objectified to rob it of its power. I haven't exposed mine publicly, so something else must have robbed it of its power. I've waved it every which way shouting "Petrificus Humongous!" all to no avail.

In the past I felt cheated by the abundance of cooch on the screen compared to the absence of man pole. Later, as the flashes of actors' ordinary looking appendages started to appear I felt only disappointment. The reason is clear. While breasts and the v thing look like they are supposed to even when they are being filmed on a big sound stage, the major root just looks sad and aesthetically unpleasing when it being upstaged. To look its best, it needs be center stage, fully alert and in action. It's not meant to play second banana to its owner's overacting above it.

I'm particularly tired of seeing male nudity on stage. The novelty of it has worn off. If I really want to see dick I would watch videos at home like The Ass Menagerie or the adults only version of The Iceman Cometh. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't turn down a ticket to see Daniel Radcliffe share the stage with his little buddy (now that he's 18).

Or Adam Brody. Or Bret Harrison. Or Jake Gyllenhaal. Or the cast of Heroes...

I think I'm losing my point here. Excuse me while I go dig out my copy of the original cast video of Oklahomo!

Breathe Deep

2007-10-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

I think it has been about eight months since I quit smoking. I'm not one of those people who keep track of the exact date of things like that. It's something in the past and I seldom think about it anymore.

There have been a handful of time where I have dreamed about lighting up but that's the closest that anything red hot has come near my lips since I quit. I have been around other people smoking, such as at bars, parties and the entrances at work, but it doesn't bother me. The only time that could be considered even remotely tantalizing is when I am socializing and drinking. Fortunately, my mind has been reprogrammed not to allow me to even touch the tainted temptress.

The whole thing started years ago when a lesbian friend offered me one of her cigarettes. It was a Capri so it was closer to a candy cigarette than a real one. It was an insidious introduction to a habit. It didn't help that I was in two above average groups. Gay men and Hoosiers both smoke at rates that are higher than the national average.

Health concerns should have been the major reason for quitting but in truth it was concern for the potential effects on appearance. What's the point of always wearing the sunscreen if the damage is happening from the inside? The secondary reason was to stop stanking up the expensive clothes with smoke smell. Now the scent of "fresh rain" laundry detergent fills the air instead of fermented tobacco fumes.

For me it became clear that nicotine replacement was unnecessary. I never had a physical addiction. Instead it was always about satisfying my oral needs. Wanting to put something in my mouth only led to using nicotine gum and smoking at the same time. Work breaks became quite a buzz from the double whammy.

When I stopped I starting being considerably less concerned about what I ate. Now I'm a little above my fighting weight. It's all still part of the oral thing. It was either raid the snack machine or learn to self-satisfy. Unfortunately, it's easier to plop coins in the slot than wear your ankles around your neck.

A Brief Interlude

2007-09-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

I received an Undergear catalog in the mail a few days ago. I don't remember getting one for quite some time, but it was inevitable that one day I would receive another one. International Male and Undergear have the most powerful gaydar in the world. if you are gay, not matter where you go or what you do, they will find you and your mailbox.

Looking through an underwear catalog is like looking at a wall of toothpastes in a store. How many choices do you need for something that is largely utilitarian? You only need a comfortable wrap for your best peeps, not a smiley face on the crotch for an extra $20.

It's amazing how much variety the producers can make with a few square inches of fabric. It's just a waistband, leg bands, a crotch piece and some connecting material. Well, in some cases you don't even get the connecting material, which strangely, you will then be charged more for less.

My TMI on the subject is underwear is that I wear only boxer briefs. I thought it was only a personal preference until I heard Will on Will & Grace talk about it as a hallmark of a gay man's wardrobe. I wonder if that is true. It seems odd since the skimpier varieties are the ones normally pitched to gay men.

The truth is probably that most are like me, with a few of the expensive ones and a lot of the Hanes and Jockey. When I say expensive for me I mean only the original price. I would only buy when there is a super discount. Macys closing Ayres in Indianapolis was a good time to snatch up the premium designers at going out of business prices.

For convenience I have my unmentionables separated into four categories: special, cotton, stretch and boxers. The boxers could be worn under pants if necessary but they are more for lounging around in.

People should wear whatever makes them happy and pay whatever it is worth to them. I admit I have some non-basic genital jammies myself, although I think the purchase is best made first for comfort and value/durability second.

The one thing I don't like is seeing men wearing child-like underwear. Strippers wearing underoos is not pleasant to me. Likewise I'm tired of seeing pictures of Ginch Gonch Boys. Talk about being overexposed. The shelf life of fad underwear models is short and it's time to put on a fresh pair.

Gay-ja Vu & DIY

2007-09-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

Deja vu is the feeling that you have experienced something before. What would be the feeling that something you are experiencing will not happen again? That's a sense I wish I could have had as certain routine events and interesting adventures one day ended with no sign that they would not reoccur.

One routine event was going with a group of people from work every Friday to a local bar. We would play pool and play songs on the jukebox and the evening would be filled with fun, gossip, and storytelling. We did this for several years while rarely missing a Friday out. Other people from work would come to the same bar for a special occasion like a birthday or going away party and they would thank us for coming to their event. They didn't realize we had no idea that they would be there. We were always there.

One Friday it seemed that everyone had something else they needed to do and we didn't go. The next Friday for whatever reason we didn't go again. After that we never returned as a group. To this day I don't know what made it so, but I miss it. I wonder if I had known ahead of time that the occurrences were numbered, would I have acted differently to take advantage of maximizing the enjoyment of every possible moment? Would I have never left early, but rather held out till closing so as not to lose a single moment of such a finite part of my life?

There has been one situation that I have been well aware of its limited duration: the classic one-night stand. In some cases I couldn't have cared less, but in others, where it felt like in some alternate universe it would have been the start of a life long relationship, the awareness of time caused me to capture in my mind what I could in the time available. As what's-his-name would start to drift off to sleep next to me, I would try to memorize every sight in the room, every sound, every tactile sensation, so that I could retain it all as an extension of the experience, keeping it ongoing after real life had ended it too soon.

In truth, I have only a few vague remembrances of any such affairs, and this is how it should be. The memories of past events only exist to help shape your future. Pleasant thoughts of times past encourage you to find similar feelings in ever new adventures. That which was will not be again, but that which will be needs only your active seeking of it to make it so. Everything before is prequel. The main story starts now.

Speaking of time, one of my minor wastes of it is occasionally to check the "missed connections" section of the local craigslist. For some reason I want to see myself mentioned there. Maybe its an ego thing. Maybe its just one of those things you want to accomplish someday in life (e.g. see the Parthenon, win Hoosier Lotto, get mentioned in Missed Connections). Well, I am not a person who is willing to wait on somebody else to do something for me. If I can't expect someone else to do something, I do it myself. I think in this case I want to leave a "desperately seeking" message looking for me. It's not like I would have responded to a real request anyway, so what the hell? If you should check the site and see people across Indianapolis spotting and looking for the same charming, debonair, well-dressed gentleman, it's just me.