Tripping Over My Tongue

Well...

2015-09-04T15:52:00.001-07:00

I've been resistant to doing this for quite some time, but I think this blog has served its purpose. I've been blogging here for 11 years (SHEESH!) and it's been everything from a place to vent, a personal journal, a place to talk about books, etc. etc. However, I just don't have the want to continue to keep it updated anymore. That's not to say that I will never be back, but I make no promises.

Currently, I book blog over at The Bees Knees Bookish Korner and you're more than welcome to follow me over there. It's hard enough keeping up with one blog, let alone two. I've started to engage with authors and publishers, so I want to make The Bees Knees my blogging priority.

I'm can also be found/stalked on:

Twitter
Facebook
Instagram
Goodreads

And probably other places that I'm just not thinking of right now. I hope to see you around! :)

Because Hate is Such a Harsh Word

2015-09-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

I don't usually like to put my very personal, and in this case, family, drama online for all to see, but since I don't want to actually have to talk to or see any of you people, I'm left with few options.

First of all, out of a 20 item list, only TWO of those items were directed at ONE specific person. I am not defending myself here, only explaining, so choose to believe me or not, I don't give a damn.

Secondly, I think what got everybody's panties in a twist was item number 20. So, instead of owning up to the fact the NOBODY in our so-called family asked if we needed help during a natural disaster, you all have chosen to pick apart the rest of what I wrote and find ways to make those things about you. We had FEMA. We had Navy engineers. We had strangers walking down the street offer to help. We had the neighbor across from us, with whom we had never exchanged more than a hello and a wave, offer us their spare room. We had the neighbor behind us. He stood in my driveway with me and hugged me while I cried over the damage to some irreplaceable items. We had our next door neighbor clean and repair our Christmas decorations; things the girls had made over the years that couldn't be replaced. We had our 17 and 15 year old daughters. This is the help we had to recover from a natural disaster. Not one person in our "family" offered to lift a finger and help.

It's been easy for all of you to use me, Trisha, as the scapegoat for the last 18 years. No matter what is said or done or who has said or done it, the blame is placed on my head. A big part of that is because I'm not afraid to say what needs to be said. I say what a lot of us are thinking or, let's be honest, what is being said behind backs. You know how many people have discussed item #12 over and over and in different groups and have, basically, the same opinion that I do on the subject but don't actually bring it to light like it should? Now, you're all using that as a reason to denigrate me worse than the adulteress who actually committed the act...twice. Have any of you, in your feckless cowardly choices, ever thought of those two children? Living this lie is depriving them of an entire world and culture that they deserve to be exposed to. Figure it out.

So, I wrote that entire post to specific people in Ohio. Care to tell me who got butt hurt over #7? Which one of you is forcing your cat to be a vegetarian?

It is so funny how you all have taken so many of the things I wrote and then made them about you. Honestly, I don't think about you guys that much to have that much to say about you. You all don't live in my head as much as I, apparently, live in yours.

To CJ, item #9 had absolutely nothing to do with you unless, unbeknownst to me, you have killed big game like lions and elephants. This is my point made clear that none of you actually know me at all. I come from a long line of hunters. I've always respected that and in the case of my cousin JH who hasn't bought meat from a grocery store in years, admired it. It's also clear that you didn't actually read what I wrote because I made clear the point I was trying to make. But let's be honest here. You and I have never been simpatico in the 20 years we've known each other.

Item #14. Anyone who knows me knows that picky eating is a pet peeve of mine. I've never, not once in my life, been shy about this fact of me. I truly believe that you're depriving yourself of fantastic culinary experiences by being afraid to try new things. I won't apologize for having a point of view or an opinion. As far as BP is concerned here, I told her this very thing when I opened my home to her for a month. Stop using her as an excuse to be pissed off about this one and to threaten bodily harm to me. Btw, do you know how ghetto and stalkerish and childish that makes you sound?

Oh. And #4 was about the fact that I have 1st cousins I've never met. Of the people that are so sure this one is about them, how are we related in such a way that this could be true? How, exactly, is the fact that I have relatives that I've never met make this about any one of you at all?? I didn't even have you drama queens in mind when I wrote that one. But thanks for letting me know my own mind.

Next, the fact that you all like to think that everything you hear or see coming out of my household is from me and me alone makes my husband sound like he's incapable of thinking for himself. He's in the top five of the most intelligent people that I know. He's logical, down to earth, rational, and realistic in his thinking and he's just freaking smart. Believe it or not, we agree on most topics. You all are making him out to be some kind of pussy-whipped fool, which he most certainly is not. If any of you actually understood how a marriage works, you'd know everything about my husband and I is 50/50. This is why we remain happily married after almost 20 years. Get a freaking clue here. But like I said, I get that it's easier for you guys to dump on me than it is to admit that maybe he's thinking these things too.

Lastly, I'd like to thank all of you that whipped this non-thing into the frenzy that it's become. You've made it so that I can stop pretending. If I've ever said or done anything that's thoroughly dishonest, it's been attempting to keep the peace for the last 11 years, which I've done solely for my kids and not anybody else. By reading more into this than there ever was, you've finally given me license to cut ties and that's such an unbelievable relief. Any phone numbers that I have for you have been put on my auto reject list (a feature that I LOVE about cell phones) and I've unfriended you all on Facebook and double checked my privacy settings. Most importantly, you are not welcome in our home. DO NOT use my children as a way of communicating with me. The Oldest Child is old enough to make up her mind about you guys and the Youngest Child has no idea what's going on. Try to be freaking adults, and I know how hard that is for most of you, and keep it that way. If you want to have any relationship with them at all, that is. The blatant fact that you all are so willing to believe the worst of me, to dump all blame on me, and to attack me at the drop of the hat is hurtful, not that any of you would own up to that either. I'm done giving you guys that power over me and allowing you to hurt me like that. All of you have been this big, sucking, black hole of negativity and drama in our lives FOR YEARS! I'm done. You do not fit anybody's definition of what it means to be family.

Replying Back and Other Stuff

2015-08-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

I listen to, read, and/or watch other people's political, religious, or general opinions on topics and try my best just to let it skim over my consciousness. Even when I agree with something. I can tell when I'm at my limit when I have to repeatedly stop myself from replying and thus, take a break from social media, watching the news, or even answering my phone. That being said, I have a few things of my own that I'd like to share. I'm tired of being quiet and letting other people's opinions stomp over my own.

Cats are indoor pets unless they're feral. You shorten the life of your pet by letting it be an indoor/outdoor pet. You risk having it being attacked by another cat, dog, or other wildlife. You risk having it being hit by a car. You risk having it being stolen or injured by other humans. You risk unforeseen injury and illness. Declawing cats is animal cruelty and the epitome of making an uninformed decision. If you disagree, you don't understand cats shouldn't have one.
Adopt don't shop. I admit, that I've changed my stance on this one. Both Bailey and Hannah (our Boxer girls) were bought from breeders. Both of them died from various cancers, which indicate that they were bred by irresponsible breeders and bought by irresponsible owners, and I mean my husband and myself here. There are 1000s of homeless pets in animal shelters, rescues, and foster homes looking for their forever home. Even purebred pets. I totally believe that responsible, knowledgeable breeders have their place, but for 99% of pet shoppers, a breeder is unnecessary. AND NEVER BUY A DOG FROM A PETSTORE! NEVER!!
So many people choose to only present one side of a story. They choose to focus on the negative or what is wrong rather than discuss both what's wrong and what's right. This is true of the following: Blackfish, Sea World, and zoos, Planned Parenthood, law enforcement, the military, gun control. I could go on. If you're going to spout off at the mouth about anything you should at least present a balanced, well-researched, opinion rather than resort to extremes and name calling.
Family. Family is not blood or legal relationships. Family is based on actions. We need a new word for it so that I can refer to the people to whom I am related by blood by a separate name. Very few of my relations support me, help me, or even know me on any real level. If you do, you know who you are. Just because you married someone and now have 20 kids who I have never even met, this does not make them my family and I have very little interest in them. You're on your 4th marriage to an individual that I barely know. This doesn't make them my family just because they have the legal title of "uncle" or "aunt". The opposite is also true: Just because you got divorced doesn't automatically mean that I no longer consider your ex my family. I probably sound heartless or whatever, but it's the truth of how I feel. I have 1st cousins I've never met. I wouldn't know them if I passed them on the street. Why should I consider them "family"? I'm really interested in hearing other opinions here.
Respect is earned. Being an adult, being a grandparent, being a teacher doesn't automatically entitle you to someone's respect. If you want to be respected, act like a responsible, caring, contributing citizen.
My kids are my kids. I have absolutely no regard for your opinion as to how my husband and I have raised them. Which, by the way, we did on our own, away from people to whom we are related, and with very little support from anyone except for our neighbors who became our friends. Yes, this was a result of our choice to be a military family, but it makes it no less true.
Humans were not meant to be vegetarians. If this were so, we would have evolved without teeth designed for ripping and chewing meat and the digestive system to process meat. Stop being all superior because you've chosen to go against nature. And stop trying to make your cat into a vegetarian. Cats were not born with the digestive system to process fruits and vegetables. They are strictly carnivores. Deal with it.
As omnivores and creatures ingenious to Earth, humans are a natural part of the planet's ecosystem. It's not as if we're an invasive species from another planet. Geez.
If you hunt animals, you should use every part of the animal. Trophy hunting has no place in my world. I think trophy hunting is disgusting and, frankly, a coward's hobby. Luring an animal out with food and then shooting it with a crossbow or gun. Yeah. That means you've got some real balls.
Stop complaining about the weather where you live. I'm so freaking sick to death of listening to people complain about cold winters when they live in the north. Conversely, I'm tired of listening to my fellow Floridians complain about our hot, humid summer. YOU LIVE IN FREAKING FLORIDA!!! WHAT THE HOLY EFF DO YOU EXPECT?!?!?! If you hate it so much MOVE! At the very least, shut up about it.
Do you know how many naturalized Americans that we know that abhor illegal aliens? These naturalized citizens worked hard and overcame personal obstacles and bureaucratic red tape to become legal citizens and then sit and watch their illegal counterparts receive American benefits for crossing our boarders illegally. No. I don't support illegal aliens in the United States.
There is a difference between "stepping up" and "being a man" and being an idiot and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Your "family" that "supports" your decision is doing you a disservice. Everyone really needs to stop kidding themselves here.
If you've never had a driver's license, you really need to stuff it about other people's driving.
When it comes to food and picky eating, you're not doing yourself any favors when you won't try something just because of its color and how it looks. You're also not playing it very smart when you travel to places with unique cuisines and then eat a hamburger. Unless you traveled to Texas. (I edited this one so it sounds nicer than it actually was when it was in my head.)
Stop putting your drama on Facebook.
Stop getting all your information from Facebook.
Stop having McOpinions and actually do some research from varied sources, not just ones that support your beliefs.
I play MMOs, I read books (romances, literature, urban fantasy, YA, historical fiction, high fantasy, science fiction, classics, and more), I listen to Alt Nation on XM, I watch scifi shows, feel good movies, and old sitcoms on Netflix, and I watch booktube, gaming vids, and makeup vids on YouTube. I'm a huge nerd/geek/introvert. I use the Oxford comma. Despite what you may think because of what you're reading here, I'm a nice person. I care about people and I'm always willing to lend an ear. However, I won't blow smoke up your ass if I think you're being dumb. Don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want to hear the truth.
We have three cats, one dog, one guinea pig, and a saltwater fish tank. I love all of my pets more than you. But I love my kids and my husband most of all.
Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone that came down to Florida last year when our house flooded and we lost 75% of everything we owned to help us out. We had to sort through our entire house of stuff and decide what could be saved, what needed to be cleaned, what needed to be moved to storage, and what needed to be thrown away and replaced. We then had to load up these respective collections. They either had to be set aside for professional cleaners, dragged out to the curb for Waste Management, or moved into storage. We moved everything we owned from inside our flooded home to our garage and then to a storage unit. Then, when we were finally able to move back in after weeks of essentially being homeless, we have to move everything back into the house. This was a lot of physical labor moving a four bedroom house...twice and it cost us a lot of money outside of what the insurance paid to the point where we're still getting caught up financially and our garage is still a mess. The help and support was...something else and we hope to have the opportunity to reciprocate in kind in the future.