“Isn’t that amazing? He married his very first introduction.” – Mara

First off, Happy Anniversary!

Mara: We’ve been married for 14 years today.

I heard your success with Together Dating inspired Duane’s mother to try the service.

Duane: Yeah, they got married the summer of 1998.

Mara: I think she only went through two or three introductions before she met the man she married, and they just celebrated their 11th anniversary.

How did each of you originally find out about the service?

Duane: My mother had gotten a flyer in the mail, and she suggested I take a look at it.

Mara: I worked down the hall from where a Together Dating office used to be located. I was single at the time. One night, I walked down and peeked in to see what the office looked like. I was surprised to find there were people working that late.

They said, “Oh, are you single? Are you looking to meet someone?” At that time, I was not looking to meet anyone, but they made it sound so appealing. They said they had a big pool of applicants and lots of guys looking to meet people. So, I thought why not? I’ll come in, meet with them and see what it’s all about.

Why did you want to try Together Dating matchmaking?

Mara: I was new in town and didn’t really have a way of meeting people. Also, I was in grad school and working two jobs. I just thought I don’t know of any other way I would ever meet anyone. I don’t do the bar scene.

Duane: I had just turned 30 a few months prior, and I couldn’t find anybody available anywhere – not at my church, not in everyday contacts, not through activities I did. There was just no one to meet who I would have considered eligible, and I had not been in a relationship in several years.

I decided I was ready to get back into dating. The first person they sent me was Mara.

Wow! Duane, the first person Together Dating set you up with eventually became your wife?

Mara: Yeah, isn’t that amazing? He married his very first introduction.

Do you feel like the service understood what you were looking for right from the start?

Duane: Mara and I had a lot of things in common, so they did a pretty good job.

What were your first impressions of each other?

Duane: Talking to her on the phone the first time was just like talking to somebody I had known for years. There wasn’t that awkwardness of trying to figure out what to say.

Mara: Right away, I knew Duane was different from all the others they had sent me. By the time we met in person, it felt like we were old friends just from two conversations on the phone.

When we eventually met in person, that’s when I realized, wow, there is chemistry there, too.

What did you do on your first date?

Mara: I was a student at the time. On our first date, I took him on a tour of the campus. We went to a little coffee house and listened to a musical group playing there.

Duane: We really liked each other, and we just hit it off right off the bat.

Tell me about the proposal.

Duane: Actually, Mara kind of proposed to me. We had talked about it after we had been going out for about a year.

Mara: I don’t really remember the day where I really made a formal proposal. We just kind of said let’s get married. I remember the day we went and picked out a ring. I guess that’s when we officially got engaged.

How did you opinion of matchmakers change through this process?

Duane: I kept an open mind about it. I didn’t have a bad opinion or a good one going in, but I felt pretty good after we got hooked up.

Mara: My opinion changed, too. I did think it must only be losers, people in their 50s and people who can’t get a date. There must be something wrong with them that they have to resort to that.

Yet even though all the guys I met up until Duane weren’t the right man for me, they were all very successful, good-looking men. These were not losers. They were just people that for various circumstances couldn’t meet women the traditional way. They were either very into their job and didn’t have a lot of time for a social life or were new to the area like I was.

What did you like best about working with Together Dating?

Duane: The fact that they were going to find somebody for me instead of me having to make the effort all on my own. I liked the fact that they didn’t use a computer. I know how stupid the machines can be.

When you’re dealing with something personal, trying to match people up for a personal relationship, I wouldn’t have been too comfy with just taking data from one person and data from another and feeding it into a machine and letting it do the selection. The fact that you had human beings that would sit down and not only go by what’s on the paper but use their own instincts, I think that is a better way to do it.

Mara: I think even in this day and age when you do have more resources, and they do have the computerized dating services, I think the personal touch is still the best way to go.

Why else would you recommend Together Dating?

Mara: It worked for us.

Duane: It worked for us, and it worked for my mother and now stepfather.

“Velda makes me want to be a better man”- Michael

What were your dating experiences before you came to us?

Less than satisfactory. I’m not the kind of person that can just go out and meet people. eLove helped me meet the right person because I wasn’t having any luck doing that with the traditional venues, going out to clubs, concerts, walking out in town hoping to run into somebody. That never really works for me.

What made you go with the matchmaking service versus the online service?

I was unaware of online services when I became involved with eLove. The thing I was interested in was to have prescreening done, background information so I wouldn’t be wasting my time. I didn’t have to meet somebody that I wasn’t at least somewhat compatible with.

What was the consultation like for you?

It was long but it was interesting. I remember filling out a questionnaire and I recall there were well over 100 questions.

Do you feel there was enough information gathered to help you find the right one?

Yes.

Do you agree remaining open-minded helped you find success?

Yeah, I think that’s very important. When you outline certain parameters, like you say you’re looking for somebody between the ages of say X and Y or you might specify that you're religious or what not. But the more limitations you put on it the more restricted the search becomes and the longer it can take.

When I met Velda, she told me she wasn’t looking for a husband, she was just looking for somebody to go out with and have fun. Then our friend told me that Velda asked him, "When do you think Michael might ask me the question?"

I remember when I proposed to her she was basically speechless for about 5 minutes and Velda is not speechless. She’s very outgoing. But it was wonderful.

Where did you propose?

Actually I proposed at home. It was a Saturday and her birthday was coming up on that Monday, which was November 13, and I was thinking about waiting until her birthday but then I decided to propose that Saturday.

We’re still on the honeymoon and June 30th will be our 2nd anniversary. Nothing bad has happened in the relationship and she’s my best friend, my lover, my wife. She and I can talk about anything and everything. Her family adopted me totally to the point where I changed my last name. I took her last name and she took my last name.

What was your first impression of her?

I thought she was somewhat reserved but after that I got to know her better and found out about some of her history, which she had had a bad marriage. The marriage produced 2 beautiful children and we have 7 grandchildren but my only regret is that I didn’t meet her sooner and maybe she could have avoided that situation but there is an old saying: if you change one thing in your past then everything changes.

Her father was in the service and she traveled around the world when he was in the Air Force. And there have been at least a couple of times in our lives that we had been physically in sort of the same area, the Boston area, but had you guys not introduced us our paths never would have crossed. We move in totally different circles. But everything just clicked.

Listening to your story makes us happy too, Michael. We wish nothing but the best for you and Velda. What was your first date like and where did you go?

We went to McCormick & Schmidt’s restaurant at the Park Plaza hotel. I met her there and I got there first because it was like 2 hours from my house. When she got there, I didn’t know it was her when she passed by. Her hair was in corn rows and she walked in and then she mentioned to the waiter who she was and that she was waiting for someone. It was about the time she was due to arrive so I walked in and I asked whether she had arrived yet. She heard me asking if she arrived and so she walked over and said, "I’m Velda." I said, "Hi, I’m Michael, are you hungry? I know I am." So we went in and had a wonderful meal.

Now aren’t you happy that you joined eLove?

Oh, without a doubt. If I hadn’t done it when I did it, I would not have met her. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that I might have met somebody that I might have got married to but I’ll be honest with you, I was at the point where I was about ready to put on a collar and say, "I’ve had it. Marriage is just not in the cards for me." I had been out on dates in my early years, I had been engaged twice before but I had my heart broken once and it never really worked out.

My mother and father, they were married for 65 years. My father proposed to my mother after 3 weeks. He knew very early on that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and he asked her if she was ready to get serious and she said yeah. And I have a lot of close friends who have been married and divorced at least once and I never got married but again, I’m very thankful that The Right One was able to hook me up with Velda.

So marriage with the right person, it’s probably the most wonderful thing that two human beings can experience together when it’s a good marriage. You have to work at it but as with anything that’s worth having, you have to work at it. And whatever you’re doing in life, if you’re with the person you want to be with, it just makes everything so much more enjoyable.

And Velda and I don’t have to be doing anything special. I mean we can be sitting at home watching TV or driving around, taking a walk but whatever, we enjoy each others company. And she’s independent and I’m independent and she doesn’t need a man in her life to make her complete and I don’t really need a woman in my life to make me complete but we compliment each other.

What one piece of advice would you recommend to someone that was thinking about becoming a member to eLove?

Most importantly, have an open mind and be honest with yourself and be honest with the interviewers. The interviewers are trying to help you and everybody has flaws, human beings aren’t perfect, only God is perfect. But no matter what imperfections a person might have, there is somebody out there, or maybe more than one person out there, for them. The way to meet that person is through trial and error or with a little help from your friends, i.e. The Right One. You have somebody to do the leg work for you and it makes it a little easier.

There are people who like to go out on dates and stuff and if they don’t meet the right person, it’s no big deal. But I am the kind of person, I need to be and should be married to make me a better person. In fact, Velda makes me want to be a better man, to quote a line from one of Jack Nicholson’s movies.