Key Practices to Create Hope for Blended Families Who Love God

Blending two families is one of the most meaningful things you can do. It can also lead to deep joy. But if you’re part of a blended family, you already know it’s rarely simple. Different routines, expectations, parenting styles, and emotional histories all come together under one roof. Even when everyone wants the same outcome, the path can feel confusing.

I know this personally. Like many blended families, we had to learn to navigate new rhythms, relationships, and expectations together.

One of the most helpful realizations for me was that healthy blended families aren’t built overnight. Relationships develop slowly, and that is normal. Many families take years to find their rhythm and stability.

Instead of trying to solve everything at once, it can be more helpful to focus on a few intentional practices that build trust and connection over time.

Here are six pieces of blended family advice that can make a meaningful difference.

1.   Meet Weekly as Parents

One of the most important conversations in a blended family happens when the kids are not in the room. Set aside time each week to talk through parenting decisions with your spouse. Discuss discipline issues, expectations, and what each child might be struggling with right now.

Blended families often experience tension when parents approach discipline or household rules differently. Taking time to align ahead of time helps you present a united front and creates a sense of stability for the kids.

This conversation doesn’t have to be long. A 20-minute conversation each week can prevent many misunderstandings later.

2.   Create One Family Ritual

Blended families often struggle because everyone is bringing different traditions from their previous households. One helpful way to build connection is by creating new traditions together.

Your children need time to get to know your new spouse. You need time to build trust with your stepchildren. And all of them need to see you and your spouse functioning as a team. And all of that takes a lot of reps through shared experiences.

It might be something simple like pizza night, Saturday pancakes, a weekly board game, or a Sunday afternoon walk that can become something everyone looks forward to.

It doesn’t need to be complicated or expensive. In many ways, the simple rhythms become the most meaningful. They help families bond and give children a predictable space to connect with each other.

Consistency matters far more than creativity.

3.   Schedule One-on-One Time With Each Child

When families blend, children can sometimes feel like they’ve lost their place. This can be especially complicated when they are navigating different rules or expectations between households. Intentional one-on-one time reassures them that they are still deeply valued. It also creates space for honest conversations about how they are adjusting to the changes in their life.

Plan regular time with each child individually on a regular basis, maybe even once a month. This can be a special breakfast, running errands, or a quick trip to a coffee shop.

What matters most is the message it communicates: You matter to me.

Strong parent-child relationships are among the most important factors influencing how well children adjust in blended families.

4.   Talk Honestly About Hard Feelings

Children in blended families often carry emotions they don’t quite know how to express. They may feel loyalty conflicts, grief from the past, or uncertainty about where they belong. Rather than ignoring those feelings, talking can help them learn to process what they are experiencing.

Let your children know it’s okay to miss how things used to be. It’s okay to feel unsure about the new family structure. When children feel heard, you can build a foundation of trust. As hard as it might be, let your children (especially your teens) express their emotions honestly and do your best to keep your knee-jerk reactions to a minimum.

Sometimes the most meaningful conversations happen when children know they don’t have to hide what they’re feeling.

5.   Make Church Part of Your Family Rhythm

Blended family schedules are complicated, especially when children move between households. But as much as possible, try to make church part of your family rhythm.

If you’re still figuring out where to attend, talk together as a couple about what would be healthiest for your family. Sometimes navigating church life can feel complicated, especially if an ex still attends your previous church or if you’re unsure where you feel most comfortable. Even so, I want to encourage you not to give up on finding a church community.

A healthy church family can provide support, biblical parenting advice, friendship, and spiritual encouragement for both parents and children. And attending together communicates something important about the priorities you want to shape your home.

For older children or teenagers, it can be helpful to include them in the conversation about where your family will attend.

6.   Pray for Your Family

Blended families need wisdom, patience, and grace. Prayer reminds us that our families are not something we are trying to build alone. God is deeply invested in maximizing your family’s flourishing potential.

You might pray together before meals, before bedtime, or during a short weekly family moment. You can also spend time alone praying for your spouse, your children or stepchildren, and your extended family.

These simple spiritual rhythms help shape the culture of your home. They remind your family that God is present in the process of learning how to love one another well.

Hope is Ahead

One of the biggest surprises for many blended families is how long the adjustment can take.

Learning the rhythms of a new family, step parenting, blending traditions, and navigating emotions don’t happen overnight. In many cases, it takes several years before things begin to feel settled. That can feel discouraging at times, but it’s actually very normal.

Every member of the family is adjusting to new relationships, new expectations, and sometimes even new homes or schools. Patience allows space for trust to develop slowly and naturally.

Blended families grow best when we allow relationships to unfold rather than trying to force them.

If you’re ready to go deeper, my new book Blended & Blessed: Building Family Unity & Healing Through the Beatitudes offers Scripture, personal testimony, and practical tools to help your family move from heartache to healing. Drawing from the timeless wisdom of the Beatitudes, it is written for every family navigating the beautiful, messy, redemptive journey of blending.

When Love Feels Difficult, God Can Redeem and Restore

Healing in blended families is rarely a shining, made-for-TV moment. Instead, it usually looks like choosing to stay at the dinner table when the tension is thick. It looks like a step-parent biting their tongue again and again. It looks like a child slowly, slowly beginning to trust.

Many blended families carry shame about how their story began. They wonder how to heal a broken family after divorce, loss, or years of hurt.

The gospel reminds us that Jesus meets us in the middle of those stories, not after we have cleaned them up.

Jim and I blended our families over twenty years ago, and our children call it the “Franklin Smoothie.” Five kids, ten grandchildren, and plenty of unique challenges all brought together. It hasn’t always been easy to navigate, but through every twist in the journey, God has remained faithful.

If you’re trying to hold it all together while navigating co-parenting, remember that healing is possible.

1. God Redeems Broken Stories — Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.”

— Psalm 34:18 (CSB)

In the hands of a loving God, nothing is ever wasted—not the shattered pieces of a heart, not the ruins of a failed dream, not the scars left by choices we regret. What the world calls broken, God calls material for miracles.

Every blended family starts with a story that did not go according to plan because of divorce, death, or other kinds of disappointment. A new family structure rises from the rubble of previous relationships, and everyone carries that weight into the new home. Children, especially, are often navigating grief, loyalty conflicts, and confusion about where they belong.

God is not surprised by your complicated story. He is not standing at a distance, shaking His head. He is already at work redeeming, restoring, and rewriting the narrative. Think of Joseph in Genesis. His family was a mess of favoritism, betrayal, and broken trust. Yet God used every fractured piece to accomplish something beautiful.

The first practical step toward healing is to simply stop waiting for your story to be something other than what it is. Bring the real thing, the mess, the grief, the confusion to God and trust that he can work with it. Because he can. That is quite literally what the Lord God does.

2. Forgiveness Leads to Freedom — Ephesians 4:31–32

“Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

— Ephesians 4:31–32 (CSB)

Unforgiveness is the thief that steals the peace you are working so hard to build. Bitterness from previous relationships doesn’t stay politely in the past. It follows everyone through the front door.

Forgiveness is not pretending hurts aren’t real or didn’t happen. It is not excusing bad behavior or rushing reconciliation. Many people wonder how to forgive someone when the hurt still feels fresh, but the Bible shows us that forgiveness is a daily (sometimes even hourly) decision to release bitterness and trust God with justice.

This applies between ex-spouses who must still co-parent. It applies to a biological parent and a step-parent navigating shared authority. It applies to children who never asked for this new family structure. And it absolutely applies to forgiving yourself for the role you played. You are not called to carry that shame or guilt; instead, let God set you free.

The Holy Spirit does not ask us to feel like forgiving. He asks us to choose it and then empowers us to walk it out. That is where true freedom begins.

3. All Families Are Shaped by Grace, Not Perfection — Colossians 3:12–14

“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another… Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”

— Colossians 3:12–14 (CSB)

Do you ever feel the pressure to have the perfect blended family? Like some modern version of the Brady Bunch, where everyone adores each other, and the extended families all get along? That picture is not only unrealistic but also often ignores the real blended-family problems many households are working through.

Building healing and unity in our Franklin Smoothie took time. It did not happen in a season; it happened over years of small, consistent choices. In many ways, blended families become a classroom where God teaches us patience, humility, and grace.

Researchers and those with experience working in marriage and family therapy remind us again and again that blended families that thrive are not the ones that force closeness; they are the ones that allow it to grow organically, through patience and grace.

The goal is not a picture-perfect family. The goal is a grace-saturated one. That means allowing a biological father to remain significant to his children without feeling threatened. It means a step-parent earning trust slowly rather than demanding it. It means a family member who is struggling gets compassion instead of pressure.

4. God Creates New Bonds and Belonging — Psalm 68:6

“God provides homes for those who are deserted. He leads out the prisoners to prosperity.” — Psalm 68:6 (CSB)

God is in the business of placing the lonely into families. That means He sees your stepchild who feels like they don’t quite fit. He sees the step-parents who are giving their whole heart and wondering if it will ever matter. He sees you.

New bonds in a blended family are not second-rate bonds. They are God-designed ones. The gospel itself is a story of belonging. Through Christ, we are adopted into God’s family (Eph. 1:5-6), and that same grace shapes the way we build our homes. While new bonds may not form quickly, they can run deeply.

Here are a few practical steps that can help cultivate true belonging in your home:

• Protect your marriage first. Your marriage is the anchor of the whole family structure. A stable, loving marriage between mom and dad gives every child in the home a more secure foundation for healing.
• Get connected at your local church. Shared faith practices like family prayer, worship, and honest conversations about forgiveness will give your blended family a redemptive story to live in. Trust in God together, not just individually.
• Let the children participate at their own pace. Belonging cannot be forced. Many children need time to feel safe before they are ready to build a relationship with a step-parent. Your role is to provide a safe environment and trust God to do the deepening work in his perfect timing.

Isaiah 61:3 promises that God gives beauty for ashes and joy in place of mourning. That is a promise for your smoothie family, your complicated co-parenting arrangement, your stepchild who still feels like a guest.

Healing Is a Journey, Not a Moment

Healing in blended families often begins when we release our expectations of what family should look like and surrender our story to God. As we watch how God redeems blended families, we begin to see that no part of our story is wasted in his hands.

God’s Kingdom is one of restoration and redemption. No matter your story or past hurts, there is potential for healing with God’s help.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” You don’t have to build this alone” -Psalm 127:1

God redeems broken stories. Forgiveness opens the door to freedom. Grace shapes healthy families. And God himself is in the business of creating belonging where there was once only distance. I am praying even now that you would experience that healing in your family.

If you’re ready to go deeper, my new book Blended & Blessed: Building Family Unity & Healing Through the Beatitudes offers Scripture, personal testimony, and practical tools to help your family move from heartache to healing. Drawing from the timeless wisdom of the Beatitudes, it is written for every family navigating the beautiful, messy, redemptive journey of blending.

How to Create Something New Despite Past Hurts and Hang-Ups

Many blended families exhaust themselves trying to outrun their histories of divorce, grief, and disappointment. As if moving fast enough will eventually leave the pain behind.

Over the years, I’ve found that the families who have found the deepest unity and the greatest sense of mission are the ones who brought their hurts to Jesus and let Him build something new.

My husband Jim and I have what we lovingly call our Franklin Smoothie family. Five kids, ten grandchildren, and more than a few complicated dynamics blended into one life together. I won’t pretend the path here was straight or easy. But I have watched God take broken pieces and make something beautiful and whole.

Here are three keys to keeping Christ at the center of your blended family.

1. Take time to process any grief, even as you build joy.

Every blended family begins because something was broken, or perhaps because of a loss.

Even when remarriage brings genuine love and hope, it rises from the rubble of something that did not go according to plan. One of the most common blended family challenges is the pressure to skip past the grief.

Parents want to believe that a fresh start means the pain is automatically behind them. Children are expected to adjust quickly, embrace a new family structure, and move forward. But grief that is ignored does not disappear. I have learned that grief insists on being heard. It resurfaces as resistance, anger, withdrawal, or distance.

Many children have loyalty conflicts they cannot name. They may feel that loving a stepparent is somehow a betrayal of their biological parent. They may be mourning their old family structure, even if that family was painful. Letting them truly express their emotions—if necessary, with the help of a therapist— is an opportunity for them to learn that God can handle their grief and any other big emotions they have.

Parents often carry the shame of a broken marriage, guilt about watching their children struggle, and fear that they have caused too much damage. God is not standing at a distance from any of that. He is near to the brokenhearted, including the brokenhearted parent.

Practically, this might look like:

• Create space for honest conversations where children can share hard things without being corrected or shut down.
• Meet with a trained Christian counselor to process any shame or guilt.
• Work on releasing bitterness toward an ex-spouse, not because the hurt wasn’t real, but because forgiveness is really a door to freedom.

2. Build Shared Rhythms That Point Your Family Toward God

Bringing two families together can take time. Belonging is cultivated through shared experience, repeated over time. Research and experience both confirm that blended families typically need five to seven years to develop the kind of intimacy and trust that feels natural.

Spiritual rhythms are one of the most powerful tools you have. Over time, God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s guidance will shape your family life to be one that reflects the goodness of our Creator.

Practically, here is how this might work. Below are a few simple family devotional ideas and rhythms that communicate to every member of your household that your family depends on God.

• Pray together before meals.
• Start a family devotional or read a short passage of Scripture together.
• Play worship songs at home or in the car.
• Make church a non-negotiable part of your family’s week, as much as your custody schedule allows. If you are still figuring out where to attend, make that decision together as a couple. For older kids and teenagers, include them in the conversation.
• Talk about what you learned from the service after attending your church.

As trust grows, move toward serving together. A shared missions project, a family service day, volunteering at your church, or eventually a family missions trip creates the kind of side-by-side experience that bonds people in ways that dinner table conversations cannot.

3. Lead From the Overflow of Your Own Spiritual Walk

Your family will follow you where you go spiritually.

Children and stepchildren are watching far more than they are listening. They notice whether the faith you talk about on Sunday is the faith you live by on Tuesday night, when the conflict is real, and your patience is thin.

The most important thing you can do for your blended family is not to find the right strategy or read the right book. It is to stay deeply rooted in your own relationship with God and let that overflow into how you lead your home.

Many blended family parents are running on empty as they manage co-parenting logistics, navigate children’s emotions, try to protect their marriage, and hold the household together. Busyness becomes the enemy of surrender.

When you can lead from a full cup, not an empty one, it changes the culture of your entire home.

Practically, this might look like:

• Invest in your personal walk with God through Bible study and prayer.
• Prioritize your marriage as the anchor of your family.
• Pray with your spouse or have a devotional time together.
• Join a couple’s small group at your church.
• Address hard conversations before they become crises. A stable, loving marriage between mom and stepdad, or dad and stepmom, gives every child in the home a more secure foundation for healing.

Something New Is Being Built

A thriving Christian blended family can be one of the most powerful displays of the gospel’s redemptive power.

“Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:19 (CSB)

God is making a way in your family. Trust Him with the pieces, and you will be surprised at what he creates.

If you’re ready to go deeper, my book Blended & Blessed: Building Family Unity & Healing Through the Beatitudes offers Scripture, personal testimony, and practical tools to help your family move from heartache to healing. It is written for every family navigating the beautiful, messy, redemptive journey of blending.

What does physical fitness have to do with spiritual growth? More than you might think!

As an avid walker, I’ve learned that adding muscle-building exercises is vital, especially since muscle mass declines sharply in your sixties. Lifting weights is not my favorite exercise, but I’m doing it anyway because, as longevity experts contend, our physical fitness largely determines the way we live out the rest of our lives. Similarly, spiritual formation shapes our faith. The two are not separate but deeply interconnected, and here is how they can grow together:

1. Steward Your Body as God’s Temple

Our body and spirit are not separate entities but parts of our unified whole created by God. Caring for the body through exercise and healthy habits reflects stewardship of the temple of the Holy Spirit. It enables us to serve God and others with greater vitality and focus. The Apostle Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (CSB): “…your body is a temple of the Holy…So glorify God with your body.”

2. Build Discipline for Body and Spirit

Regular workouts can cultivate spiritual virtues like perseverance and self-control. They reflect the discipline required for prayer or fasting. As John Paul II noted, “The body, in fact, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine” (Theology of the Body, 1997). This understanding empowers us to build discipline for both our body and spirit, fostering a determined approach to our physical and spiritual growth.

3. Strengthen Worship Through Resilience

Fitness enhances mental clarity and emotional resilience, creating space for deeper communion with God. Activities like running or walking, when approached mindfully, can spark gratitude for God’s creation. By maintaining physical health, we honor God’s design. Psalm 139:14a (CSB) declares, “I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made,” highlighting the wonder of our physical bodies and the importance of caring for them.

A healthy body fights both mental and physical fatigue. Scholars like Kenneth L. Cooper in Faith-Based Fitness (1995) emphasize that physical wellness supports spiritual vitality, as a healthy body sustains the energy needed for worship, service, and meditation on God’s Word.

Challenge: What one step can you take today to boost your physical and spiritual health?

Let’s not wait but take immediate action to enhance our well-being and spiritual growth. The journey starts with a single step, and today is the perfect day to take it.

On the Uncharted podcast, Kayleigh and I discuss spiritual disciplines. You can listen to them on your morning walk or watch while you’re on the treadmill.

Leading a Bible study can be one of the most rewarding experiences in your faith journey. It provides an opportunity to deepen your understanding of Scripture, cultivate new relationships, and experience the beauty of Christian community.

A small group Bible study can become a sacred space for learning, encouragement, and worship. It offers a unique setting for believers to grow in faith through Scripture and genuine connection.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God”

Colossians 3:16, CSB

Here is a guide to help you start and lead a life-changing group Bible study:

Begin with Prayer

Before diving into logistics or planning, start with prayer. Ask God for guidance, wisdom, and discernment as you embark on this journey. Pray for the people who will be part of your group, even if you don’t know them yet! Trust that God is already preparing their hearts to engage with his Word through this study.

Prayer aligns your heart with God’s will and invites his wisdom as you prepare. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you choose the right people, location, and study focus.

As you pray, ask for discernment, strength to lead well and model Christ-like humility, and grace to navigate challenges, including group dynamics and scheduling.

Handle the Logistics

Once you’ve laid a foundation of prayer, it’s time to organize the practical details. Good planning helps eliminate barriers that might discourage people from joining or staying committed.

Find Your People:

You can invite friends, neighbors, or family.Starting with two or three consistent people is a huge help in building momentum. You can coordinate with your local church or even put up posters around your dorm or a local coffee shop. Don’t be discouraged if your group is small; sometimes, that creates a space where people feel open to being more honest.

Choose a Time and Place:

Choose a consistent time and place for your study. Consider weekly or bi-weekly meetings based on participants’ availability. Make sure your meeting location is accessible, comfortable, and free from distractions. Homes, coffee shops, or church classrooms can work well. Decide how long you will meet (one semester? One year?) so that people can opt in and out without feeling uncomfortable.

Send Friendly Reminders:

A quick text, email, or group chat reminder can encourage people to show up consistently. For extra engagement, consider sending a short message the day before the study, sharing a Scripture, or an encouraging thought to build anticipation.

Select Your Study

Choosing the right material can significantly shape the direction and depth of your group’s growth. Take time to select a study that aligns with your group’s needs and spiritual goals.

Consider these options:

• Topical Studies: Focus on relevant life themes like marriage, parenting, anxiety, or spiritual growth.
• Book Studies: Dive into specific books of the Bible (e.g., Romans or James) to explore them verse by verse.
• Devotional Studies: Use daily or weekly devotional content to encourage participants to reflect on God’s Word outside group meetings.

It can be helpful to involve the group in choosing the material. Consider taking a vote or sharing several options to gauge interest. Remember, the goal is to meet people where they are and guide them closer to God.

Create a Realistic Plan

A well-structured plan will help you make the most of every meeting. Here are some elements to consider as you design your gatherings:

• Allocate a few minutes to chat before you jump into your study.
• Decide whether your group will watch teaching content together or discuss material that everyone reviews ahead of time.
• For new groups, the leader might open and close with a prayer to set an example. In more established groups, invite members to take turns leading prayer each week to foster participation.
• Focus on facilitating a discussion instead of teaching. This means preparing thoughtful questions and then focusing on asking great follow-up questions instead of feeling like you need to present the material as an expert.
• Stick to a Set Time. Respecting the end time ensures meetings remain manageable. Members will appreciate the consistency, especially those with busy schedules.

Lead by Example

As a leader, your attitude and actions set the tone for the group. Vulnerability and honesty are essential to fostering authentic conversations. Share personal insights from the study, including areas where you are still growing.

When you admit your struggles or doubts, others will feel safe to do the same. Encourage open dialogue by modeling humility. The goal isn’t to be a perfect leader but a faithful one who walks alongside others.

Share Life Stories

After the first few meetings, dedicate time for each member to share their life story. Provide a guide with questions like:

• What are a few things that scare you?
• When have you experienced God in your life?
• What hurt should we know about so we can care for you well?

Sharing personal stories builds deeper connections and helps group members move from surface-level interactions to meaningful relationships.

Manage Group Dynamics

As a leader, gently guide the conversation to ensure everyone has an opportunity to participate. You might need to kindly redirect an over-talker or directly invite an under-talker to share their thoughts. Encourage a culture of active listening, where people feel respected even if their opinions differ.

Being proactive about group dynamics helps create a safe environment where all participants can grow.

Follow Up on Prayer Requests

Keep track of prayer requests and life updates shared in the group. Then, follow up! This practice shows that you genuinely care about each member’s life beyond the study time. It can be as simple as texting: “I’ve been praying about [specific request]. How are things going?”

For larger groups, consider a “prayer partner” approach. Each person writes their request on paper, passes it to another member, and commits to praying for that person until the next meeting. This method encourages intentional prayer and strengthens connections within the group.

Prioritize Relationships

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another”

John 13:35, CSB

Let love be the defining characteristic of your group. While completing the study material is important, it’s not the ultimate goal. The heart of your Bible study should be helping people feel seen, valued, and loved. This happens in the details (remembering important events in their lives) and specific interactions during your meetings.

Serve Together

Consider organizing a service project for your group once a year. It could be within your church, for a group member in need, or a local charity. Serving together builds strong bonds and provides opportunities to share the gospel.

Starting and leading a Bible study is both a challenge and a blessing. It requires prayer, planning, and perseverance. But the rewards – deeper relationships, spiritual growth, and transformed lives – are immeasurable.

Remember, you’re not just leading a study; you’re creating a space for God to work in people’s lives.

Trust in the power of Scripture and the work of the Holy Spirit as you lead. Your faithfulness to this calling can be the catalyst for life change in your community. So, take that first step, gather your group, and watch in awe as God works through your willingness to lead.

Jesus said, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32, CSB). This promise reminds us that engaging with Scripture is not just about gaining knowledge; it’s about experiencing freedom and transformation through a deepening relationship with God.

But have you ever sat down with your Bible, eager to dive in, only to find yourself struggling to connect with the text? You’re not alone.

Whether you’re a seasoned Bible student or just beginning your journey, these Bible Study hacks will help you engage more deeply with Scripture and experience its life-changing impact.

1. Choose the Study That Fits Your Season

Life is full of different seasons, and your approach to Bible study should reflect that. Take time to pray and reflect on what you need most from your time in God’s Word. Are you seeking comfort during a difficult time? Looking to deepen your understanding of a particular book of the Bible? Or maybe you need practical wisdom for a specific area of your life?

Then, choose the option that best meets those needs. Maybe it’s a:

• A devotional to start your mornings with the Lord.
• An in-depth study to better understand a specific book of the Bible.
• You can listen to a Bible reading plan from YouVersion during your commute.
• A Christian book to help you apply God’s truth to your life or understand a topic more deeply.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to Bible study. The key is choosing a method that will help you connect with God consistently in your current season.

2. Study in Community

We’re not meant to live life or learn about God alone. Studying the Bible with others can provide accountability, encouragement, and fresh perspectives that enrich our understanding of God’s Word.

Consider joining a small group at your church, starting a Bible study with friends, or even finding an online community focused on Scripture engagement. On days when time is short and life gets busy, having others to encourage us can make all the difference.

3. Read Different Translations

While most of us don’t understand the Bible’s original languages, reading different translations can help us understand a passage’s meaning more fully. Sometimes, a fresh perspective lets us see God in a new light.

Try comparing a more literal translation like the ESV or NASB with a dynamic equivalent translation like the NIV or CSB. When confused, try The Message (more of an interpretation than a translation) to clarify the main idea.

4. Add Dates and Names to Your Bible

When God reveals a truth that speaks to your current situation or brings someone to mind, make a note of it. Include the date and any relevant details. Over time, your Bible will become a beautiful record of God’s faithfulness in your life.

This practice can be especially encouraging during difficult seasons. As you flip through your Bible, you’ll be reminded of how God has spoken to you in the past, reinforcing your trust in his ongoing work in your life.

5. Summarize the Passage

It can be easy to get lost in the weeds of Paul’s longwinded sentences or complicated prophesies in the Old Testament. Try to write out a summary of the passage and discuss it with others. This practice ensures you grasp the main idea before re-examining the finer details.

6. Understand the Context

“Open my eyes so that I may contemplate wondrous things from your instruction.”

Psalm 119:18, CSB

Context changes everything. Understanding the historical backdrop brings depth to the text. Why did Jesus talk with the woman at the well? Knowing the cultural tensions between Jews and Samaritans reveals how this interaction is a profound lesson about inclusion and grace.

Research the author, the original audience, and the historical setting of the passage. Your study Bible should have this at the start of each chapter.

Jen Wilkin encourages us to think through three lenses:

them/then – What did this passage mean to the original audience in the original time?

us/always – What does this reveal about God or to the Church that is always true?

me/now –What does it mean to my life today?

This perspective can help you see varied applications of the text.

7. Look for God’s Character

Before jumping to personal application, focus on what each passage reveals about God’s character. This practice deepens our understanding of who God is and helps us interpret difficult passages in light of his unchanging nature.

As you read, ask yourself:

• What does this passage reveal about God’s love, justice, mercy, or wisdom?
• How does God interact with his people in this text?
• What attributes of God are on display here?

Understanding God’s character provides a solid foundation for applying Scripture to our lives and helps us trust him more fully.

8. Have a Map Handy

Understanding the geography of biblical events adds depth and clarity to Scripture. Geography impacts everything from the narrative structure to the spiritual meaning of passages. For example, knowing that Jerusalem sits at a higher elevation explains why people are described as going “up” to the city, regardless of their direction of travel (Luke 2:41).

Additionally, grasping the physical distances involved—such as the 135-mile journey from Jerusalem to Damascus—makes the perseverance and experiences of biblical figures more relatable and meaningful.

Maps also allow us to visualize key events, such as Jesus’s journey through Samaria, which reveals his intentional inclusiveness in his ministry.

9. Pay Attention to Repeated Words

Repetition in Scripture is often a signal of importance. When you notice a word or phrase repeated in a passage, take time to explore its significance. You might:

• Look up the word in an English dictionary
• Use a tool like Strong’s Concordance to explore the original language
• Search for other occurrences of the word throughout Scripture

This practice can uncover rich layers of meaning you might otherwise miss.

10. Memorize Scripture

I have treasured your word in my heart so that I may not sin against you.

Psalm 119:11, CSB

Memorization feels old-school, but it’s a powerful way to internalize God’s Word. Start with one verse at a time and gradually build up to longer passages.

Write the verse on a notecard, repeat it throughout the day, or set it as your phone’s lock screen. As you hide God’s Word in your heart, you’ll find it coming to mind at unexpected moments, providing comfort, guidance, and strength.

11. Most Importantly, Study the Bible with Humility

“But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.”

Isaiah 66:2, CSB

Perhaps the most important reminder of all is to approach Bible study with a humble heart. Humility acknowledges that we are always learners, open to correction and the Holy Spirit’s guidance as we study God’s Word.

When we approach Scripture humbly, recognizing our dependence on God for understanding, we position ourselves to receive the wisdom and transformation he offers.

Bible study is an opportunity to encounter and learn about our living God. When you study intentionally, slow down, and invite others in, Scripture becomes more than words on a page—it becomes a pathway to life.

Whether you’re studying for five minutes or an hour, alone or in a group, with a physical Bible or a digital app, the key is consistency and an open heart. As you engage with Scripture regularly, you’ll find that God’s Word comes alive, speaking into your circumstances, shaping your character, and deepening your relationship with him.

May your time in Scripture be rich and transformative as you apply these Bible study tips. And remember, every moment spent in the Bible is an investment in your spiritual growth and an opportunity to experience the living, active power of God’s Word in your life.

If your Bible study time feels stagnant or you aren’t sure where to start, learning the transformative power of intentional, deep Bible study can help your faith grow. Diving deeper into God’s Word isn’t just about accumulating knowledge—it’s about transforming our hearts and minds through a living, breathing relationship with our Creator.

1. Begin with a Heart of Prayer

Before you even open your Bible, take a moment to still your heart and invite the Holy Spirit to guide your study. This isn’t just a formality; it’s a powerful acknowledgment of our dependence on God for true understanding.

Prayer aligns our hearts with God’s, preparing us to receive his Word with openness and humility. Ask for wisdom, clarity, and a teachable spirit as you pray. Remember, studying the Bible isn’t just an academic exercise—it’s a spiritual encounter.

For those who enjoy liturgy, you can consistently begin your study time with the same short prayer. It could be as simple as, “Lord, open my eyes to see wonderful things through the reading of Scripture. Speak to me through these pages and transform my heart.”

2. Engage the Text with Curiosity

Approach Scripture with a child-like wonder and detective’s inquisitiveness. Instead of passively reading, actively engage with the text by asking questions. Who wrote this passage? What was the historical context? How does this relate to other parts of the Bible?

This method, often called the Inductive Bible Study approach, helps you observe, interpret, and apply Scripture more effectively. It transforms your study from a one-way reading to a dynamic conversation with the text.

Keep a set of questions handy as you read. Start with the basics: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? As you grow more comfortable, use deeper questions about themes, literary devices, and theological implications. Sometimes, putting these questions on a laminated bookmark in your Bible is helpful for easy access. (Here is one good option that you can purchase.)

3. Utilize Study Tools Wisely

While the Bible is our primary resource, God has blessed us with a wealth of study tools to enhance our understanding. Commentaries, concordances, Bible dictionaries, and reputable online resources can provide valuable insights into historical context, original languages, and theological concepts.

However, remember that these tools are meant to supplement, not replace, your personal interaction with Scripture. Use them to clarify confusion, gain deeper insights, and explore different perspectives, but always return to the text itself as your foundation.

Start with a good study Bible and gradually build your library. Online resources like Blue Letter Bible or Bible Hub offer free access to many study tools. Just be sure to use discernment and stick to trusted sources.

4. Journal Your Journey

Journaling is a powerful way to process your learning and track your spiritual growth. It allows you to capture insights, questions, and personal applications that arise during your study.

Moreover, writing helps cement new understanding in your mind and heart. It creates a tangible record of your walk with God, becoming a source of encouragement and reflection in seasons of joy and challenge.

Either after each study session or once a week, write down one key insight and one way you can apply it to your life. Over time, you’ll build a personal commentary on Scripture that reflects your unique journey with God.

• Choose a Strategic Reading Plan

A reading plan will transform your Bible study from sporadic to steadfast. Rather than randomly opening your Bible daily, following a structured plan helps ensure you systematically work through Scripture and understand God’s story comprehensively.

Different plans will reveal new insights from Scripture. Reading the Bible in a year can help you understand the full scope of God’s story. Studying one book in-depth will help you see God’s character and plan for his people. Try re-reading a shorter epistle each day for a month or even spend a year reading a chapter of Proverbs each day. Devotionals and study books can help you to apply God’s truth to your life. 

• Embrace the Art of Slow Reading

In our fast-paced world, the practice of slow, intentional reading can feel foreign. Yet, when it comes to studying the Bible, taking time to savor each verse can unlock profound insights. As you read, pause to reflect on keywords, themes, and the passage’s context.

If this is new to you, try the “verse mapping” technique: Choose one verse and explore its context, cross-references, and meaning in the original language to deepen your understanding.

• Apply and Share

The goal of Bible study isn’t just to gain knowledge but to be transformed by God’s Word. James 1:22 reminds us to be “doers of the word, and not hearers only.” Look for ways to apply what you learn to your daily life, relationships, and leadership roles.

Sharing your insights with others, whether in a small group, with a prayer partner, or in your sphere of influence, will solidify your understanding and multiply the impact of God’s Word in your community.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” – Psalm 119:105 (CSV)

Remember, your Bible study routine is a personal journey between you and God. As you implement these tips, remain open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, allowing him to direct your study time and illuminate his Word in fresh ways.

During the first forty years of my life, I was looking out for number one ~me.  At first, I had to.  I was number six of seven children growing up without a father in a very poor household in the mountains of Puerto Rico.  God bless my mother for doing all she could to keep us together and providing for our needs.

When my mother was busy working, studying, cleaning or helping someone else, I had to take care of myself.  By the time I was nine, I could cook, do the laundry, clean the house and garden.  Being fiercely independent and committed to significance became a habit that I could not break even after I became an adult.

My independence and drive got twisted into bouts of isolation, self-centeredness, greed and selfish ambition.  I could fill an eighteen wheeler U-Haul truck with all the damaged “goods” my actions caused.  However, when I became a believer and follower of Jesus, He gave me a new life, a life of self-renunciation and cross bearing.  I can attest that Paul’s claim is true, “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV But, this new life is a daily walk and it isn’t always easy.

This is the way of Jesus Christ, the cross:

 “Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.’”

Mark 8:34-37 NIV

The path with Christ leads not to finding and preserving our life, but to lose and offer our old life so that the new life will be found. Jesus modeled this. He revealed to his followers that the awaited Messiah was also the suffering servant in accordance with the Scriptures (c.f. Isaiah). Peter was outraged when Jesus taught that He must suffer. Peter did not like the cross; and if we are honest, neither do we.

Nevertheless, the Lord Jesus doesn’t want us to be detached observers of his passion.  We are to grow in faith and understanding as we accept and participate in his suffering.  By following the way to the cross, it is possible for us to understand why he had to suffer a shameful death.  By following the way to the cross we understand Jesus himself.

Therefore, those who wish to follow Jesus must be prepared to make a major shift in their lives.  The new life calls us to shift the center of gravity in our lives from a concern for self to reckless abandon to the will of God.^[1] This is not easy for many of us, especially for fiercely independent types like me.  How is it for you?

It has been nine years since I became a believer.  Surrendering control of my life is a daily choice.  Inspired by Romans 12:1-2, some days I have the courage to give my all to God.  I offer my body “as a living sacrifice.”  Other days I find myself either drifting away or gripping the little details in an effort to secure my existence. This daily battle could get discouraging, but like Paul I plot along.

Consider Paul’s words in Romans 7:18b “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”  Paul was willing to admit his brokenness, but he did not give up. At the same time, he celebrated the One who delivered him and all of us from bondage, Jesus Christ our Lord.  Like Paul, as we embrace the new life we become less and Jesus becomes more.  We boast in our weaknesses and in the Lord.

Following Jesus means we have to get out of our comfort zone, be willing to suffer and even be shamed. The world is suffering of horrific violence, extreme poverty, injustice and broken relationships.  Our allegiance to Jesus calls us to courageously step into the filth of the world to rescue those who are in bondage.  Imagine a world where all self-professed Christians did this.

We are given a new life and are equipped by God to join Him in the work to make the world right: to share the good news of Jesus Christ, release the captives, heal the sick, feed the hungry, and bring peace.  It is not okay for us to just visit the Church on Sunday mornings while the rest of the week we disconnect from Jesus’ work to reconcile the world. We need to do both. If we don’t do our part, not only will we miss the joy of joining the Lord in His work, but also many will continue to suffer.

I have a deep desire to share the Gospel and what Jesus is teaching me in an effort to help others grow in Christ.  I believe Jesus has put this desire in my heart.  Writing this blog is very scary.  Being vulnerable is terrifying.  But Jesus reminds me that narrow is the road that leads to life

Q. What is your story of following Jesus?  How do you live out His call to “lose your life?”

1. Lane, W. L. (1974). The Gospel of Mark. The New International Commentary on the New Testament (307). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.  ︎

I stopped making traditional resolutions a long time ago, but this year I am trying something new. Instead of a resolution, I am making a New Year’s commitment to growth. Reframing a resolution as a commitment shifts our perspective from a shame-based aspiration into a forward-seeking goal. 

Here are five steps that will transform how you think about your goals and hopes for the new year. 

1. Discover the “Thing Behind the Thing”

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.

Psalm 139:23

Author and podcaster Rob Bell frequently asks a question when he digs deeper into a commonly understood experience: “What is the thing behind the thing?” Instead of taking life at face value, this question invites us to consider the deeper meaning behind our assumptions or ideas. 

In Practice: If your New Year’s resolution is “to lose weight,” think about what that means to you. Why do you want to lose weight? What is the driving force behind that resolution? Your motivation will inform how you approach your commitment. Perhaps your goal in losing weight isn’t so much about fitting into an old pair of jeans as it is about being able to be active and playful with your young child—that would be your “thing behind the thing.” If that is true, instead of scale-watching in hopes of reaching a certain number, try enacting lifestyle changes, measuring your growth by the new habits of health you are able to build. In this case, your commitment to growth could be: “I am making a commitment to live a healthier lifestyle by eating well and moving more in order to more fully participate in life with my son.” 

2. Seek Growth, Not Perfection

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:23

Perfectionism is the number-one killer of resolutions and commitments. According to bestselling author and career coach Jon Acuff, having an “all or none at all” mindset when making—and keeping—resolutions sets us up for failure. The idea that we should “aim for the moon” because if we fail, we’ll “land among the stars” may be a nice sentiment in a graduation card, but it doesn’t actually reflect how we react to failure. When we invariably stumble, we get discouraged and throw in the towel. This is why I recommend your goals be practical, realistic, and achievable.

In Practice: Your New Year’s resolution is to clean your house, top to bottom, every month. Your whole house? Cut that goal in half, and give yourself permission to clean a few rooms every month. Not only will this be more reasonable and practical, you may find yourself motivated to throw in an extra room or area once in a while. Your commitment to growth could be: “I am making a commitment to cleaning the bathrooms and bedroom every month.”

3. Try Habit Stacking

…the one who sows to his flesh will reap destruction from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.

Galatians 6:8

Our habits impact us so much more than we think. But what if there was a way to make new healthy habits one small change at a time? There is a fascinating book by S. J. Scott called Habit Stacking. Scott teaches how to implement a life-changing morning routine one small habit at a time. The idea is to take a habit that you already have—say, brushing your teeth—and “stack” a new, simple, and achievable habit on top of it. And once that new habit has firmed, you can add another. And then another. It would definitely be worth checking out and trying Scott’s method!

In Practice: You may want to spend time reading Scripture more this next year. What if before you allow yourself to brush your teeth, you read five minutes of Scripture? Your commitment to growth would be: “Every morning, I will read Scripture for five minutes before brushing my teeth. Once that habit is solidified, I will add a new five-minute habit that contributes to my spiritual health—like five minutes of silent meditation or writing in a prayer journal.”

4. Expect to Fail—and Keep Going Anyway 

The Lord helps all who fall; he raises up all who are oppressed.

Psalm 145:14

Don’t expect smooth sailing as you set out on your journey. In his book Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done, Acuff writes that “accomplishing a goal is a lot less like taking a train across country and a lot more like driving a bumper car.” Remember, growth is not deterred by failure and struggle but recognizes that they are both part of the process. Lean into them and allow yourself the space to fail your way toward your goals.

In Practice: A New Year’s resolution to go on a run three mornings a week before the workday can lead to frustration if you miss a day of running. Your commitment to growth could be: “I am making a commitment to exercising three days a week before work. When I am unable to meet that commitment, I will keep moving forward and give myself grace.”

5. Celebrate!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Philippians 4:4

It used to be that whenever I’d hear people say that I should reward myself for sticking to a commitment, I felt like a child with a potty-training rewards chart. I thought the idea of giving yourself rewards was childish, but I’ve come to see it as a celebration. As you set out on your commitment, keeping track of your progress and setting up celebration checkpoints along the way will keep you motivated and encouraged. 

These checkpoints also help you to focus on what you have achieved and are good chances to adjust your routine based on what you are learning about yourself and your growth process. This will help you stay committed for the long haul.

In Practice: A New Year’s resolution to read a new book every month can include a fun practice at the end of each month that ties into your commitment. Your commitment to growth could be: “Every month (or so), after reading a new book, I am going to buy a bookmark or small trinket that reminds me of the book I just finished.” 

Remember that life is more than a to-do list. Your value isn’t tied to your productivity or the accomplishment of your goals. As you start thinking about your New Year’s commitment to growth, remember that these goals are setting you on a direction, not a destination.

In these moments, it felt like I was living Philippians 4:7, experiencing “…the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding…” guarding my heart and mind.

Ever since I set out to write this post, however, my life has been hit with things that seem to threaten this peace. Physically being sick for a few weeks, angst around material/financial things, the heartbreak of relational strife, my health insurance ending unannounced, and fear of the unknown. And in some ways, these circumstances have been successful in stealing or destroying my peace.

None of these things are life-threatening like cancer, and yet somehow, they’ve caused me to lose sight of trusting in the Lord and leaning not on my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

The prophet Isaiah reminds us that God “…will keep the mind that is dependent on [Him]
in perfect peace, for it is trusting in [Him].” (Isaiah 26:3 CSB) This promise, this gift of perfect peace, comes as a direct result of our trusting in God.

We are all bombarded with things that trigger fear, anxiety, worry, confusion, feeling overwhelmed, and it threatens to disrupt our peace and upend our trust in God. Pain. Loss. Grief. Uncertainty. Busyness. Past mistakes. Regrets. Negative memories. The unexpected. Offenses. Anger. War.

Oh, how quickly peace flees weekly, monthly, even hourly—as if it can’t exist or has no place in those spaces. And yet, the mess of and in our life does not keep peace away!

Peace in the Mess

We see in the Christmas story that peace shows up in the middle of the mess. First-century Israel was anything but peaceful—an occupied land, a ruthless puppet king in Herod the Great, and a world where violence ruled the day. Everything about life for Mary was full of disruption.

These disruptions included being visited by an angel, being unmarried and pregnant (and it not being Joseph’s), skeptical judgments of their community, traveling hundreds of miles while pregnant, rejection by family, delivering a baby in less-than-ideal conditions, fleeing for your life, and more. Every one of these disruptions was unexpected by Mary and Joseph. What a mess!

But it was this mess that Isaiah had prophesied,

“For a child will be born for us, a son will be given to us, and the government will be on his shoulders. He will be named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6 CSB, emphasis added)

Peace, then, is not only an internal feeling—a sense of shalom: wholeness, soundness, and completeness—but it’s also something so much more! Peace is a person: Jesus Christ.

God’s peace came two thousand years ago in the middle of all humanity’s mess, in the middle of chaos and life’s disruptions, to give us His gift of peace.

For me, it wasn’t until a few years ago, when everything in my world was majorly disrupted that my eyes were finally opened, and my heart was receptive to the disruptive details and messiness surrounding Jesus’ birth.

That season exposed how quickly I jumped to the hope, the joy, and the miracle in life, how quickly I tend to move past the struggle and go straight to the end of the story. By previously focusing on the end and how strong and capable God is, I overlooked and dismissed the messy humanity in each Bible story—and in my own story. Essentially, I was missing Jesus in the midst of it all.

Oh, how I’ve needed this messy version of Christmas to relate to rather than the perfect, polished Christmas we are sold where everything is wrapped and tied with a bow! We can’t always tie a bow around things, but is it possible to have peace without a bow?

Jesus, our Prince of Peace, told his disciples,

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”

John 14:27 CSB

Later, during the same conversation,

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

John 16:33 CSB

And when the disciples feared the storm on the sea would swallow them whole,

He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.

Matthew 8:26 CSB

Peace is in our boats today, in the middle of our storms, just like he was with his disciples two thousand years ago. They didn’t realize who was with them then, but we get to look back and see clearly the Master of the wind and waves. Our troubles in life, big or small, won’t stop coming, but neither will our Lord and our God, Jesus Christ.

As C.S. Lewis pens, “Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace within difficulties.” Our peace doesn’t rely on a desired outcome in the end or the absence of difficulties. We have peace in the mess, peace in the middle, which gives us peace without the bow, for there is peace to be found in His presence, peace in His faithfulness, and peace in His comfort.

All of these gifts are ours to receive and hold tight to all year through!

We have a FREE advent calendar just for you that goes along with our advent blogs. Click the link to download your copy today – Download Our Free Advent Calendar!