Tru Access Blog

NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU

Mon, 09 Jan 2017 15:37:00 GMT

Sinead O’connor had a hit song that was released back in 1990 entitled “Nothing Compares To You”. The song was essentially about a breakup that the artist had, and no matter where she went or whomever else she met, nothing and no one compared to her ex or the experiences that they shared.

She was basically sad throughout the whole song because she kept comparing everyone to her ex, but no one or no experience measured up in comparison. Lets face it; we all have a tendency to make these types of unfair and unhealthy comparisons. But I believe Millennials have come up during a time of constant comparison across every dimension of their lives. And that can be a big problem.

One of the biggest challenges that I’m seeing with this generation is the pressure they are placing on themselves through this culture of constant comparison. Because unlike Sinead O’Connor who was comparing everyone and everything to her ex, Millennials and the Gen Z’s that follow are comparing themselves to everyone and everything as a gauge for his or her success. Comparing yourself to others is nothing new of course; and it’s not exclusive to Millennials. The level on which the comparing is being done with this generation however, is far beyond what it’s ever been for past generations.

Technology… and digital, social, and mobile technology in particular, has fostered values, behaviors, and a culture that is virtually fueled by comparison. Whether it’s Facebook, Instragram, Snapchat, or any other social media platform that allows you to show the rest of the world how awesome your life is, there is around-the-clock access to friends, family, peers, and people you don't even know from all around the world. And every time you’re on one of those sites or apps, the comparison is inevitable, Millennial or not. It just so happens that Millennials are the biggest and most frequent users of these platforms.

I read an article in the Harvard Business Review (hbr.org) the other day that shared a recent study by University of Michigan that suggests that the more a person uses Facebook, the worse they feel. The study discusses the dynamic of ‘social comparisons’ and how social media contributes to that. It also goes on to suggest how easy it can be to believe your life sucks in comparison to all the dope stuff you see other people doing. This can lead to a whole host of issues in areas of confidence, productivity, mental health, and overall happiness. So what do we do?

The short answer is to stop comparing yourself to others. You’re not them and they’re not you. That's obviously easier said than done. Identifying the right leaders, coaches, and mentors in your life is one way that can help with that. If you do not have a coach or mentor in your life, I highly recommend aligning yourself with one.

In the meantime, here are three quick reminders for Millennials and those who are leading Millennials to keep in mind to help avoid the consequences of constant comparison…

The only person you have to be better than is the person you were yesterday. We all have our own unique gifts, talents, passions and callings in life. Discover your purpose and focus on that. Everything else will fall into place.
Everybody’s not what they ‘post’ to be (purpose pun intended). Remember that people share the best versions of themselves on social media. They share the version of themselves that they want the world to see while in reality they are lost, afraid, and confused.
Nothing compares to you. You are uniquely, fearfully, and wonderfully made. There is no other person on the planet that can accomplish what you have been sent here to do. Do not allow your purpose to suffer ‘death by distraction’ because you are too busy watching the moves of someone who is actually fulfilling his or her purpose.

EXPLORE THE MILLENNIAL WONDER LAND

Tue, 10 Nov 2015 15:54:00 GMT

I had the good fortune of serving as emcee and keynote speaker for the 2015 CEO National Conference recently. It was awesome!

CEO stands for Collegiate Entrepreneurs’ Organization and is a national organization with over 230 chapters on college campuses across the country. Its mission is to inform, support, and inspire college students to be entrepreneurial and seek opportunity through enterprise creation. It’s a great organization with thousands of motivated millennial entrepreneurs fueling its engine.

I must have met hundreds of millennial entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs over the course of the two-day conference. Each student that I met was just as fascinating and enthusiastic as the one before.

Many of the students already had businesses up and running, while some were still in the idea phase. Some weren’t exactly sure what type of business they wanted to start yet, but they knew that they wanted to be an entrepreneur. Regardless of what phase of their business they were in, they all had something in common; they all had that entrepreneurial spirit.

As I reflect on my time, experiences and engagements with these millennial masterminds, I realize that I learned something new about the entrepreneurial spirit and entrepreneurship.

What did I learn?

I learned that while most professions can fall under the definition of a job or a career, entrepreneurship is more than that. Entrepreneurship is a calling. It’s powered by purpose.

Every student that I spoke with was excited about how their idea could make their community, this country, or the world a better place.

Their ideas were all based on them wondering how they could improve upon something or create something that should exists that doesn’t exist. The idea explanations always started off with “I was wondering how this could be better” or “I was wondering why do things have to be this way or that way”.

After several conversations, I realized that I was essentially walking in a Millennial Wonder Land”. Everyone’s ideas were inspired by the magic of wonder. Instead of accepting things for how they are, Millennials still harness the magic and the power of wonder.

As we get older, we tend to accept things as they are and conform. We fall victim to traditions, processes, and policies that have been in place for years and never really wonder why they exist. We never really wonder how they can be improved. That, my friends is how we get stuck in a rut. How do you get out of that rut?

My suggestion to any organization, or group out there that is struggling to grow your business, team, or movement is to explore the Millennial Wonder Land. You can do this literally or figuratively.

Break out of that rut and experience the magic of creativity, invention and innovation again. Step into the Millennial Wonder Land and ask yourself why things are the way that they are? Why things aren’t better? And why does your organization even exist?

If you are looking for innovation, creativity, fresh thinking, and new and inspiring ideas… Explore The Millennial Wonder Land. You’ll be glad you did.

WHEN SHOULD LOVE BE CONDITIONAL?

Tue, 20 Oct 2015 15:46:00 GMT

“When should love be conditional?” she asked. That was just one of many great questions that a student asked during one of my recent speaking engagements at St. Augustine’s University in North Carolina as a part of “Building & Maintaining Healthy Relationships” speaking engagement series. There were a ton of great questions thrown my way by this vibrant and curious group of motivated Millennials. But this one particular question stood out to me for some reason… “When should love be conditional?”

I paused for a moment before I responded to the question. I didn’t pause because I didn’t have a response. I paused because it was at that point; I realized that in many ways, we are committing a real disservice to our next generation. This question was asked about midway through what ended up being about a 90-minute session.

There were many questions before that question that were as genuine, sincere, and curious about how to be in a healthy relationship. These weren’t just the basic “how long should we date before we commit” or “how do you know when you’ve found the right one” questions. Those questions were asked too, but a lot of the questions revolved around how do you love someone and what does love look like, act like, and feel like.

I’m sure that the session was as revealing to me as it was to the students, if not more. What did I learn you might be wondering? I’m glad you asked.

I learned that, in many cases, at least based on the hundreds of conversations that I’ve had with Millennials about healthy relationships, that they have not grown up seeing a lot of great examples of healthy relationships. So much so, that many of them don’t know what real love looks like.

Where I am encouraged in this story is that I believe that this generation of love-seeking Millennials will look to make sure they don’t repeat that same cycle with their kids.

It has been refreshing to speak to groups of students that express as much curiosity, desire, and interest in learning about the essence and power of love as they are about the classes and courses in which they are enrolled.

What else did I learn?

I learned that each generation should not be so focused on giving the next generation the things that we didn’t have that we forget to give them the things they need.

I also learned that we can teach what we know but we reproduce who we are. We can’t expect Millennials to know the things that we want them to know and behave the way we want them to behave if we don’t teach them, and more importantly if we don’t show them.

Below are three lessons that I want my millennial crew to take away from this message.

Love should never be conditional. Love should always be unconditional, but always make sure the actual relationship is governed by conditions.
Love is not just a feeling or an emotion; love is an action that you take.
Love is and always will be your greatest leadership attribute. As long as you lead with love, you will always win, because love never fails.

DO MILLENNIALS LACK GRIT?

Tue, 13 Oct 2015 19:58:00 GMT

A friend of mine sent me an article recently that suggests that Millennials lack grit. The information was based on findings shared in an article in Psychology Today as well as interview subject Peter Gray, a professor at Boston College. According to at least one psychologist, today’s college students seek more counseling because this generation is more “needy”.

I’m no psychologist, but I am an expert in millennial insights and I have my own thoughts on the matter. And my question to all of you today is… Do you think this is true? Do you think Millennials are “needier” than previous generations? Bottom line… Do Millennials lack grit???

There is no question that there are differences between the millennial generation and previous generations. There will always be generational differences though. That will always be the case.

We are, however, witnessing the biggest generation gap we have ever seen when it comes to Millennials. This generation gap is fueled primarily by the New Cubed dynamic of New Era, New Expressions, and New Expectations. The greatest of these is New Expectations!

Millennials have ushered in a New Era and come of age during a time when everything is being questioned, redefined and in flux. This includes everything from the economy, race relations, gender roles, and religion.

This New Era, including the new technologies that have come along with it, have inspired and enabled New Expressions. Millennials have a host of digital, social, mobile, and experiential ways to express themselves and develop identity formations that never existed before.

This New Era in which Millennials have come of age along with their multiple forms of New Expressions has led to the biggest gap of all in this generation gap, which is New Expectations.

Millennials have Newer Expectations of themselves and those around them. In many ways, these are greater expectations, at least in certain areas.

In generations past, a very popular phrase and life philosophy was “it doesn’t matter how you feel”. This was a sentiment that was typically applied to school and the workplace. It pretty much indicated that there is no place for emotion, and that your feelings about the situation, circumstances, or people were irrelevant. Just get the job done. You’ll get to be happy later in life.

This is one of the many differences that exist in the area of Millennial expectations. Millennials expect to be happy now. Millennials expect to love what they do. Millennials expect climates of inclusion. Millennials expect cultures of collaboration.

So do Millennials lack grit?

I’m sure there are some that do. I also know that this is a generation that is more in touch with how they feel about something, and to Millennials it does matter how they feel. It also matters to them how you feel. And based on the expectations of previous generations, I can see how this can be defined as lacking grit. This lets me know that this is more of a matter of an expectation gap.

The expectations that Boomers and Xers have of someone at the life stage in which Millennials are in now, is based on what was expected of them during their time of coming of age. And those same expectations have been projected on to their Millennial counterparts.

If you do believe that Millennials lack grit, I challenge you to bridge that expectation gap. You can start by gaining clarity of what their expectations are of you and themselves, and by sharing what your expectations are of them and what they can expect from you to help meet those expectations.

Here is a link to the above referenced article.

Counselling services at college have doubled because millennials are having 'emotional crises over everyday life', psychologist claims.

HOW TO DETERMINE WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Wed, 07 Oct 2015 14:40:00 GMT

There are those who struggle with the reality of not having enough, and there are those who struggle with the confusion of not recognizing what is enough.

Which one are you?

It’s amazing to me to work with people who seemingly have everything and never feel like they have enough, and then to work with others that lead relatively humble lives that approach life as if they have way more than enough. I see it everyday.

I have to give props to my millennial crew for helping me to better understand when enough is enough and the best way to determine when enough is enough. The millennial generation, also known as generation y, could also easily be referred to as generation “why?”

Understanding The “Why”

I say this because millennials tend to have a natural curiosity and desire for understanding the “why” behind everything they do. And in many cases, without even realizing it, the desire for understanding why they do something, want something, or should pursue something is what gives that goal, thing or achievement a specific purpose in his or her life. Understanding the specific role or purpose that certain items or resources play in your life, helps to provide clarity for when enough is enough.

We all like nice things, and it takes money to acquire nice things in life. And I encourage you all to work hard so that you can earn plenty of money to be able to afford the nice things that you want for yourself and your family. I also encourage you to maintain your generation “why?” mentality and don’t get caught up strictly in the “what” and the “how”.

Climbing the Ladder

I remember having a conversation with a gen x friend of mine recently. He’s a really accomplished and successful guy that is a senior partner in his business. He was sharing his success story with a group of millennials and explaining to them how he acquired his wealth. The emphasis of his story was his hard work and sacrifice. He went on to explain how as he was climbing the corporate ladder he would be the one to volunteer to take on assignments and shifts of his other colleagues on weekends an holidays that would pay overtime of ridiculous amounts of money. It didn’t matter when it was, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversary… he was focused.

It just so happens that this gentleman is married with three kids, and even after he made partner this paper chase pattern continued. He started off his pursuit of the paper, position, and power as a way to better provide for his family. But even after he acquired a very comfortable lifestyle and healthy bank account, he didn’t let up.

When Enough is Enough

He went even harder. He began to see holidays and weekends as greater revenue opportunities, and nothing more.

He admittedly missed way to many Christmas mornings opening gifts, way too many birthday parties, soccer practices and dance recitals. He went from struggling with the reality of not having enough to struggling with the confusion of not knowing what enough is. This all because he allowed his what and his how to take priority over his why.

The best way to know when enough is enough is to always remember why you’re pursuing what you’re pursuing in the first place.

7 WAYS TO MOTIVATE MILLENNIALS

Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:47:00 GMT

I have had the good fortune of sharing the stage with some really smart, accomplished and impressive people over the last 3-4 weeks. I’ve spoken at conferences, colleges, churches and corporations sharing messages on leadership, inclusion and millennial insights.

The majority of these speaking opportunities were focused on motivating millennial audiences ranging from high school students, to college students to young professionals. Based on the requests, it appears that motivating millennials is viewed as a challenge for a lot of organizations. I think I know what the problem may be… and the problem isn’t the millennials.

As I sat back and watched some of the other speakers that addressed the millennial audiences over the last several weeks, I noticed a big difference in which speakers the audience responded well to and which ones put them to sleep. The short answer is some speakers were there to impress while others were there to impact.

If you are looking for ways to motivate millennials, you have to first understand what matters to millennials and what they expect. Understanding what millennials expect of themselves and the organizations & people that they align themselves with should be your starting point.

Many of the speakers that I observed at these various events appeared to be focused on impressing the audience with their knowledge, accomplishments, titles and status. That approach simply does not work with this generation. They are not impressed with what you do as so much as why you do it and how you can help them figure out how to realize their own dreams.

Being successful is relative in the minds and hearts of millennials.

You can book the most accomplished and established speakers in their respective industries to speak to your millennial audiences, but if they cannot relate to this generation and have a basic understanding of how to meet and manage millennial expectations, then their message will fall on deaf ears. In other words, the speakers that you secure must be there to impact and not just impress. If, as a speaker, you are there to impact, then you will take the time to understand what matters and what’s important to the students, congregants, or young professional that are there to hear you speak.

When you seek to impress versus impact, you usually don’t do either. When you seek to impact versus impress, you usually do both.

Below are 7 ways to motivate millennials that should work across any discipline…

Remember that it’s not about you - it’s about them. Seek to impact and not to impress.
Take the time to understand their wants, needs and expectations. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Don’t just talk about what you do, talk about why you do it. Millennials don’t just want to be influenced - they want to be inspired.
Motivating millennials requires more than motivational speeches. Provide specific actions steps and engagements that will empower them through experiences.
Don’t just tell them what you want them to know. Include them in the program and information development process. When it comes to millennials, where there is no inclusion there is no commitment.
Make it easy to participate and follow up with the speaker, facilitator or program lead. Leverage technology to build and maintain connections pre, during and post events. Convenience is paramount for millennials.
Do not project your generational expectations onto this generation. Millennials have ushered in a new era, with new expressions and a whole new set of expectations.

MILLENNIALS REVEALED

Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:04:00 GMT

I’ve had the good fortune of spending twenty-plus years of my life working with, learning from, leading, empowering, inspiring, and being inspired by the most fascinating generation in American History. What generation is that do you ask? That would be the Millennials of course!

Over the course of my life, I have engaged Millennials as an artist, a marketing executive, an entrepreneur, a speaker, a coach, a mentor, a leader, a confidant, and a friend. And although I'm a gen X'er, I enjoy the great pleasure of also being married to an amazingly gifted, talented and beautiful millennial. I've engaged (literally and figuratively) with Millennials across many disciplines and have been able to leverage my experience and expertise to help older generation clients, colleagues and counterparts understand how to connect with this unique generation in a meaningful way.

I am now happy to add author to the list of disciplines by which I am now able to help strengthen the connection and generation divide that exists between Millennials and their generation X, baby boomer, and even silent generation family members, colleagues and co-workers. I have authored my first book, Millennials Revealed to help bridge the painfully obvious gaps that I have seen develop and grow between Millennials and their older generation counterparts over the years.

While many individuals and organization simply focus on calling out and complaining about the differences, they are not taking any steps to resolve those differences. There are also some who have taken steps to address the differences and fell short, because they are taking a transactional approach to a challenge that requires a transformational solution.

My experience with this generation has taught me three really important principles about how to effectively engage Millennials

Be more transformational and less transactional.
Always remember that why you do what you do is more important than what you do.
Where there is no inclusion there is no commitment.

I've leveraged my experience and expertise to go well beyond these three principles in the book. The book goes on to reveal the seven biggest Millennial expectations that they have of themselves and the organizations that they align themselves with. I obviously couldn't stop there though. The real insight is in sharing why these expectations exist for this generation and how to effectively meet and manage those expectations.

The world is in desperate need of Heroes, and I believe Millennials are the Hero generation that can and will save the world.

They need help though. Millennials need and deserve better than to be just labeled with negative stereotypes and and excluded from the conversations. And legacy organizations and institutions along with its leadership, need and deserve better than to be relegated as irrelevant and outdated, especially considering the invaluable wisdom, contribution and opportunities they provide. Millennials Revealed appreciates, addresses, and meets both distinct audiences where they are and guides them to the intersection point of where and how they co-exist.

Millennials are the collaboration generation and thrive in climates of inclusion. Knowing this, Millennials Revealed serves as an empowering guide that helps parents, businesses, and organizations connect with the millennial generation, while also helping millennials better understand themselves and their goals.

Please join me in celebrating the release of my new book by pre-ordering your copy today and helping me to spread the word to others.

Once you've pre-ordered the book, I would love to engage you in dialogue on your thoughts, and answer any questions you might have.

I hope that you enjoy the book and I thank you in advance for your support!

CONCEPTS AND COMMITMENTS EQUAL SEXY

Thu, 13 Aug 2015 15:04:00 GMT

Be careful what you ask for. I must have heard that phrase a thousand times throughout the course of my life. I have a much better understanding of what people meant by that now. You don’t always see all the requirements and responsibilities that come with the thing, role, job, position or even person that you want. You just see how pretty and shiny it looks on the surface, but don’t realize the amount of earth, wind and fire you’ll have to fight and dig through to get and maintain what you want. The concept of what it is - is always sexier than the commitment that it takes.

One of the things that I find encouraging about the millennial generation when it comes to concepts and commitments is this generation’s "happiness of pursuit" approach. There has always been a lot of focus and emphasis placed on the pursuit of happiness in this country (which I believe is important), but the millennial expectation and desire to be connected to passion and purpose has inspired them to more readily embrace the journey and the experiences that come with the actual pursuit itself.

To my millennials that may be feeling challenged and frustrated with where you are on your success journey, I encourage you to keep pushing. Although I would be remiss if I didn’t suggest that you make sure that the direction in which you are pushing is in alignment with your assignment. So in that regard, I guess the old adage of be careful what you ask for still applies just with a twist… be careful that what you ask for is what you really want and not something that someone else wants for you.

Whatever you decide to pursue, even if it’s in line with your passion and purpose, it will come with some difficulties. Please keep in mind though, that it’s usually right around the time that you’re about to experience your breakthrough that you experience some of your toughest challenges. In other words, whenever you feel the urge to quit, that’s when you know you’re close. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. When things feel most difficult, that’s when you push even harder because you’re so close. Embrace the experience and enjoy the journey.

The funny thing about your dream is that it doesn’t sit still. Dreams are mobile. They are constantly moving, which means you will have to chase them. Dreams don’t just sit still at a specific location and wait for you to arrive.

Be careful what you ask for my millennial friends, because the concept is much sexier than the commitment. But you have shown me that when you are truly in alignment with your assignment, the commitment can actually be just as sexy as the concept in the "happiness of pursuit."

BIG ROCKS FIRST

Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:50:00 GMT

I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase, “first things first”. It’s essentially a phrase that reminds us to keep our priorities in order. A lot of times that’s easier said than done. In my conversations with my millennial crew, they often share that there are times when everything seems important. There are times when they feel confused and conflicted by all of the life demands that are competing for their time and attention. Life is notorious for promoting its #ConfusedAndConflicted hashtag. How do you stop that hashtag from trending in your life?

Big Rocks First

One approach to prioritizing that has made a big difference for me on my journey has been to put in the big rocks first. Some of you may have heard the story about the big rocks first, but for those of you that haven’t, I’ll share it really quickly…

As the story goes, a professor stood in front of his class with a large jar on his desk. He then filled the jar with a bunch of big rocks until he could not fit anymore in. He then asked the class if the jar was full and they responded yes. He then pulled out a jar of gravel and began pouring the gravel into the large jar filled with big rocks and watched as the gravel maneuvered its way around the big rocks to find its own resting place in the jar. The professor asked again, “Now is the jar full?” The class saw what the professor had done and many hesitated to respond but many replied with a resounding “Yes! It’s full now.”

The professor then pulled out a jar of sand and poured the sand into what then appeared to be a full jar and the sand began to slip and slide into nooks and crevices between the gravel and big rocks to find its place in the jar as well. The professor asked again… “Is the jar full?” Even more students hesitated to respond this time, even though from the packed look of the jar, there did not appear as if anything else could possibly fit. But a few bold souls loudly proclaimed, “YES! Its definitely full now!”

The professor finally pulled out a large pitcher of water and began pouring water into the jar until the water consumed every available possible space remaining in the jar. The professor continued filling the jar with water until the water reached the rim of the jar. He then stopped and said… “Now the jar is full!”

The moral of the story is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first, but allow your jar to get filled with all the little pebbles, sand and water, then you won’t have any space available in your life for the big rocks.

The big rocks represent the biggest and most important things in your life. The pebbles, sand and water represent the smaller less significant things. The big rocks are your family, your health and your faith. Remember to put in the big rocks first. Have a great day everyone!

MILLENNIAL GOAL GETTERS

Thu, 23 Jul 2015 15:25:00 GMT

You always hear people talking about the importance of setting goals, and for good reason… because goal setting is important!

You need to give yourself a success measure to shoot for. Otherwise, how else will you know if and when you’ve achieved success? But more important than setting the goal is reaching the goal. The trick with reaching your goal though is making sure you reach the right goal. That’s the part about goal setting and goal getting that somehow gets left out of the conversation.

One of the things that I love about the millennial generation is your drive, tenacity and resilience to unapologetically pursue your passion. Millennials are not just goal setters, you’re goal getters!

Once you figure out what you want or in some cases what you think you want, you set a goal, map out a plan and go for it. This is awesome when you’re setting the right goals. What happens when you’re reaching for the wrong goal though? I was reminded of this in my own life recently and it took me back to a lesson that I learned at an early age about the importance of focusing on the right goal.

I remember playing little league basketball in my neighborhood recreation league years ago as a kid. I remember it like it was yesterday. I played in the Towanda Recreation Center summer league in Baltimore, MD. I was eight years old and it was my first year playing.

During the very first tip off of my very first game, the ball came to me and without hesitation I went sprinting down the court with laser focus, unimpeded the entire way, straight to the basket. I delivered a textbook right-handed layup into the basket right off of the middle of the square on the backboard just like I had done time and time again at practice.

The problem was it was the wrong basket. That was one of the most embarrassing and need I say, unfulfilling moments of my entire sports career. This happened all because I was focused on the wrong goal.

Goal setting and goal getting is critical to your success my millennial friends. But so is making sure you are setting the right goals to begin with.

In addition to my own personal experiences of misguided goal setting, I have seen the undesirable results of how this impacts so many others throughout my career. It’s just as important to set the right goals, as it is to reach your goals. The joy that you feel from reaching your goal is directly impacted by the appropriateness of the goal itself. I set my sights on my goal in that little league game at Towanda Recreation center and executed flawlessly. I felt absolutely no joy or fulfillment however, because after it was all said and done I realized that wasn’t the right goal for me.

So I challenge all of my goal setting, goal-getting millennials to ask yourself these simple questions along the way…

What are my goals?
Why have I set the goals that I’ve set for myself?
Are these goals good for me based on who I am and where I’m going?

Goals are important, so please make sure you set the right goals for yourself. And it’s okay to stop focusing on the goals that you’ve already set so that you can reset your goals to be more in alignment with your assignment.

PERSONAL BRAND BUILDING FOR MILLENNIALS

Wed, 22 Jul 2015 14:10:00 GMT

What does your personal brand say about you? Have you even established a personal brand? How do you establish your personal brand? These are a few of the questions that were discussed on a recent #MillennialTalk twitter chat hosted by my good friend and Millennial Lifestyle Expert Chelsea Krost (@ChelseaKrost). This was a great session filled with a host of rich insights and nuggets on personal branding. Lets take a look at a few of those nuggets…

During this one-hour twitter chat session of rapid-fire responses, reactions, rebuttals and re-tweets, you could almost feel the energy, passion, and enthusiasm of every participant coming through your screen.

There were a total of ten questions that were directed at the guest expert of the chat, Carlos Gil (@CarlosGil83 ). Carlos did a great job of sharing useful, actionable and valuable insight. And based on the responses, there appeared to be a number of participants who were prepared to incorporate some of their new found nuggets into effective brand building practices right away. The participants were not just recipients of information though. In true millennial fashion, they were big time sharers of information.

The countless millennial participants in this chat provided as much insight and perspective as the guest expert. The information was rolling in non-stop with each question. Chelsea (a millennial) and her guest Carlos (a millennial) set the foundation, but they along with the participants all lived up to their millennial expectations of creating a climate of inclusion and culture of collaboration.

There were a number of valuable insights on how to build a great personal brand both on and off line. There were tips that included things like “engage with your heart”, “believe in what you’re saying” and “be consistent with your on and offline persona”. This is just a small sample of some of the great advice from a very engaging and passionate group.

I don’t always participate in twitter chats, but when I do, its #MillennialTalk. Great job Chelsea!

Below are three tips for building and sustaining your personal brand that I would like to offer to my millennial crew…

Embrace a desire to contribute that exceeds your expectation to receive.
Have a clear understanding of WHY you do what you do and don’t just focus on WHAT you do.
When leveraging Social Media don’t forget to be SOCIAL.

INCREASING LOYALTY WITH MILLENNIALS

Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:13:00 GMT

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times… “Millennials aren’t brand loyal”. But is it that millennials aren’t brand loyal, or that the brands that feel that way just aren’t doing the things to gain their loyalty? Lets explore that question a little further…

When talking to millennials directly about brand loyalty the responses are pretty interesting. The consensus is that they don’t believe they are wired to be “less brand loyal” than gen X or baby boomers. They believe that brands just have to take a different approach to gain their loyalty.

Millennials have ushered in a new era, which brings with it a set of new expressions and new expectations. Brands and marketers will have to adjust to those millennial expectations in order to generate or increase brand loyalty among millennials. What are some of those expectations?

I’ve found that the seven biggest millennial expectations (also known as the Seven Cs) are as follows…

Confidence
Convenience
Connection
Control
Customization
Collaboration
Community

Brands should factor these millennial expectations into their marketing efforts when developing loyalty programs and initiatives targeting millennials.

How does your brand best connect with this audience through these seven Cs? Where are your marketing efforts falling short in one or more of these areas? Keep in mind that these areas of focus are not just things that millennials want or hope that your brand delivers on; these are expectations.

In order for brands to build brand loyalty with millennials it’s important for them to understand millennial expectations as it relates to their respective brand or industry and how to effectively meet or at least manage those expectations.

Developing a brand loyalty program that provides points to redeem items, products or future stays from your business is not enough anymore. That may have worked for baby boomers and some members of gen X, but this is a new era with new expectations. And one of those expectations is customization. Millennials want points in the form of perks that cater t their personal preference.

Each of the seven Cs of millennial expectations has its own tactical deployment that will change depending on your brands essence and its relationship level with your millennial consumers. It is important however that you understand where your brand stands with each of these expectations and how your marketing efforts are aligned with meeting these expectations.

As you begin to explore strategic ways that your brand can increase loyalty with millennials, below are 5 considerations that can serve as a great guide. Millennials are more inclined to show loyalty to brands that practice these five things…

Be purposeful and clearly articulate your brand purpose.
Be consumer-centric and focus on what the consumer wants from you and not just what your brand wants to sell them.
Be social and have a strong social media presence and be careful to practice the art of social listening.
Produce and curate content that is as informative as it is entertaining. Content is still king with millennials.
Create memorable and shareable experiences. Millennials place a much higher value on experiences than they do on stuff.

WHAT’S YOUR ONE THING?

Wed, 15 Jul 2015 04:00:00 GMT

Life can be complicated, confusing and complex! It happens to the best of us. Life is just filled with tough choices and decisions that will result in moments of angst, frustration, and confusion. That’s a challenge that we all have to deal with. You can’t eliminate those challenges, and in many cases you shouldn’t try. Most of the time, it’s those challenges that stretch you and help you to grow. What is the best possible way to cope with those challenges though, and minimize those moments of angst frustration and confusion?

Most successful people have figured out how to minimize their frustrations by maximizing their focus. You all know those people that appear to be more in control than you, or less frustrated with life than you, or even more accomplished than you. They aren’t necessarily smarter than you. They’ve just done a better job of controlling the direction of their lives rather than letting life control them. What does that mean exactly?

The people that are more accomplished, more successful, and just plain happier in life have figured out their “one thing” and let that be their guide.

What’s your one thing? What is the one thing that no matter what else is going on or regardless of what the other options are on the table; you know what is going to serve as your ultimate criteria for decision-making?

A lot of millennials that I talk to are still figuring out what their one thing is. Truth be told, I still know a lot of old-heads that are still figuring out what their one thing is. Not knowing what matters most to you in the face of a host of choices and decisions that life throws at you is what leads to a lot of peoples frustrations, inaction, dysfunction and defeat.

I urge all of my millennial crew to take the time to go through the exercise of figuring out your one thing. That clarity in your life will make a world of difference in how much you accomplish in life, with the least amount of frustrations.

There are way too many life accounts or life buckets that are competing for your time and attention on a day-to-day basis not to have an idea of what your top priority is. And even within each life category, there are occurrences competing for your time and attention. For example, you have the career bucket, the entertainment bucket, the health bucket, the money bucket, the faith bucket, the family bucket and so on. And in each of those buckets, there is a whole other set of time and attention bandits. But what’s your one thing?

Most of you just go with whatever is in front of you at the time in an effort to please whoever is in front of you at the time. You allow yourself to be pulled in eighty different directions and then blame the people pulling you and somehow end up resenting them. The truth of the matter my millennial friends is its not their fault. I encourage you all to start figuring out your one thing now and avoid all of the craziness that comes with that lack of clarity.

How do you figure out your one thing? I’m glad you asked. Below are three things you can do today to start gaining clarity on your one thing?

Write down a vision of what your ideal life looks like. This will help you understand the people, places and things that are most important to you.
Write down a list of the areas where you are most gifted and a separate list of the things you are most passionate about. Comparing these lists will give you an idea of where you should be focusing your time and attention from a career standpoint.
Write down a legacy statement for yourself as to how you would like to have impacted the world once you’re gone. This will give you an idea of which life bucket should take priority over another when you’re faced with those tough choices life will throw your way.

THE BEST WAY TO ENGAGE WITH MILLENNIALS

Tue, 14 Jul 2015 15:02:00 GMT

Storytelling is the single most compelling way to evoke emotion and inspire action in others. And everyone has a story to tell. Millennials are at a time in their lives when it is important for them to tell their own story. This generation will not sit back and let someone else write their story for them or even dictate to them what their life story should be. But there’s more…

Lets not forget that millennials like to share. So not only is it important for members of this generation to share his or her story with you, they want you to share your story with them too. They want to know your story. Yes – I’m talking to all of you brands, companies, churches, foundations and corporations as well. What’s your story? Inquiring millennial minds want to know.

The best way for brands, parents, pastors, and others to engage with millennials is to tell your story and empower them to tell their story as well.

Millennials have grown up with the technology and digital platforms that have both inspired and enabled perpetual storytelling and the sharing of those stories. Storytelling has become expected. The digital, social, and mobile (DSM) platforms that millennials have grown up with have fostered a certain level of transparency that is simply expected among this generation. They expect it from each other as well as the brands and organizations that they align themselves with. There is an art to storytelling though.

As the opening sentence of this blog suggests… for your story to be compelling, it must evoke emotion. Don’t just state the facts or a timeline of events and accomplishments. That’s not your story, that’s just data. As the late, great Maya Angelou said… “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Your story must talk about who you are and not just what you do. Talk about why you do what you do. You story should be entertaining, educational, engaging and empowering. There should be elements of passion, emotion and even a little mystery. It should include experiences that are unique to your brand or organization. Don’t be afraid to tell your story and be willing to help millennials tell their story.

Many millennials are still figuring out what message they want their life story to tell. For those seeking to connect with millennials in a meaningful way, you have a great opportunity to do so by helping them to tell their story. Your role is not to be the author of their story though. Your value comes at different points throughout the storytelling process. Sometimes your value is in being the proofreader, or the editor, or even the publisher. But you must understand that your value is always in a supporting role when it comes to helping them tell their story.

So what is the best way to engage with millennials? It’s storytelling. And below are three things to keep in mind about connecting with millennials through storytelling.

Tell your story in a true and authentic way. Be open, be honest, and be transparent. Your story should entertain, educate, engage, and empower.
Help millennials share their story. Do not try and dictate their story or tell it for them. Provide them with the guidance and tools to tell their own story.
Remember that why you do what you do is more compelling that just what you do. This approach will empower the brand story to be embodied and told through every person and aspect of your business. When you share your story with the goal to impact the lives of others, you inspire them to share your story as well.

3 THINGS TO KNOW WHEN MARKETING TO MILLENNIALS

Thu, 09 Jul 2015 14:22:00 GMT

One of the first things that organizations should understand about marketing to millennials is the importance and expectation of community with this generation. This applies to recruiting millennial talent into the workplace as well. I believe the early success that brands like Uber and Lyft have experienced with millennials is largely due to their understanding of why the shared economy model works with this generation.

The above-mentioned brands and others like them have been able to identify a void in the marketplace and fill it in a way that addresses the millennial desires and expectations of community, convenience and control in the marketplace and the workplace.

I believe the elements of community, convenience and control are all benefits of the shared economy model that resonates strongly with millennials and is a model that will continue to yield success across a number of different industries for at least the next 5 years.

We saw early signs of this millennial friendly business model back in 2000 when ZipCar hit the scene. Prior to ZipCar, there was no sense of community associated with the rental car companies and the convenience and control of the car rental process was all in favor of the car rental company. Not only did the renter have to go to wherever the car rental company was located to rent and return the car, they also had to rent the car based on the time allocations and terms that the rental car company set.

ZipCar, whose consumer base is still well over 50% millennial, changed the game by appealing to and meeting the millennial expectations of community, convenience and control. Brands like Uber and Lyft came along and “fine-tuned” this process for the car service industry across the board by appealing to these three millennial expectations in an even stronger way.

For brands that are marketing to millennials or even recruiting millennial talent, ask yourself how does your approach appeal to the millennial expectations of community, convenience, and control.

Below are three things to know when marketing to millennials. It’s presented in the form of a “convenient” three-step process. This approach will help ensure your campaign appeals to the millennial expectations of community, convenience, and control:

Integrate – Consider ways that you can effectively integrate your brand, message and product into relevant on and off line millennial communities. Do this in a way that empowers them with some levels of control to make decisions that are convenient to their life stage and lifestyle.
Experience – Once you have successfully integrated your brand, product or service into the community, do not just be a passive bystander in the community, become an active participant by dialing up your engagement and creating memorable experiences.
Legacy – Don’t just touch me in the morning and turn and walk away! Millennials aren’t fans of the wham-bam-thank you ma’am approach. Think of ways that you can stay actively engaged beyond a single moment-in-time experience. Create a system of ongoing dialogue that allows the brand to stay connected and engaged with the community.

A BIT OF A STRETCH!

Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:35:00 GMT

You didn’t come this far just to come this far, so don’t stop now. One of the things that I’ve learned about my millennial comrades is that you guys have big dreams and great expectations. That’s one of the many things that I love about this generation. I also know that big dreams and great expectations come with big challenges and great responsibility. But I encourage you to stay the course…

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve shared your dreams and expectations with someone and they tried to convince you that what you were aspiring to was too far fetched? Maybe you’ve encountered someone that tried to convince you that you should aim a little smaller or as they often like to say… “Be more realistic”. One of my favorite responses that I remember hearing from someone years ago when I shared my vision with them was… “Wow, that’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

The irony to someone considering your dream, vision, or expectations to be “a bit of a stretch” is they are absolutely right. That’s exactly what it will take for you to realize your dream… a series of stretches.

Any level of growth requires stretching. You must stretch yourselves to reach higher heights and do things that you’ve never done before. You must stretch and extend yourselves outside of your comfort zones. Anytime you’re birthing something new, you should expect a few stretch marks. The question is, are you willing to endure the labor pains that accompany those stretch marks to give birth to your dream?

Its actually during the time when you are being stretched the most and feeling the most uncomfortable that you are building the strength that you’ll need to sustain you once you’ve reached your desired destination. You just have to stay the course.

How do you expect to grow if you are not stretched?

That’s is simply how the growth process works and you cannot cheat the process. The process to making progress comes with a price. And that price is the pain and discomfort of stretching yourself to your fullest potential. And just when you think you’ve maxed out, I’m here to tell you that you can always go father than you think you can.

My question to you is; are you willing to pay the price to realize your dreams?

A more important question may be; which pain would you rather endure? Because whether you decide to stretch yourself to pursue your dreams or choose not to stretch yourself and wallow in mediocrity, there will be pain either way. The pain of stretching yourself to pursue your dreams however is a lot more satisfying and bearable than the pain of regret you will feel from living an unfulfilled life.

So the next time someone tells you that your dream is “a bit of a stretch”, just tell him or her they are right, and that stretching yourself is a part of your strategy.

MAKING THOSE TOUGH DECISIONS

Thu, 02 Jul 2015 16:19:00 GMT

The choices and decisions that you make today will have a direct effect on the quality of life you will have tomorrow.

I heard a fellow speaker and good friend of mine address of group of students at a conference recently on the topic of making better choices. I appreciate the distinction that he made between choices and decisions and reminding the audience of the long-term effects of each. Lets take a closer look at the definitions.

A choice is defined as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities. So a choice involves being faced with options and actually requires that you make a decision. Choices are often reactive.

A decision is defined as a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. Based on its definition, decisions usually require having information or data that you have to process to come to a conclusion on what action to take. Decisions are often proactive.

Leaders are faced with tough choices and decisions on a daily basis and the choices and decisions that you make as a leader not only effects your life, but also the lives of others. My question to my millennial crew today is how strong are your decision-making skills? How do you discern what decision you are going to make when faced with making those tough decisions?

I hear a lot of you complaining about the poor decision making of those that are currently in leadership positions at your school, job, church, or non-profit organization. And based on some of the stories I hear, I would have to agree with you in some of those cases. I also hear how you vow to make better decisions when you take over and become the decision maker. As noble as those intentions are, you don’t develop good decision making skills strictly on the strength of good intentions.

Being a good decision maker is easier said than done. This is especially true when you are faced with decisions that do not have a clear-cut right or wrong outcome. What happens when you don’t know what is right or what's best? What happens when all your potential resolutions seem wrong or inappropriate?

It is because of the possibilities of these very scenarios that you must always be strengthening and developing your discipline, your character, and your integrity. Leaders must have a disciplined character and strong moral compass that they can tap into when faced with what others may view as impossible decisions.

In this connection age, you have access to seemingly unlimited information. As awesome and resourceful as this is, it is still only the information. Your computer, or Google, or teams of advisers are not going to make the decision for you. And if you have not developed a disciplined character and acquired a wealth of knowledge along the way, you too will be one of those leaders who are heavily criticized by your poor decision making ability.

Becoming a leader with great decision making skills doesn’t magically happen once you assume a leadership position. Those skills are developed over time long before you take the wheel.

Here are three things to keep in mind when it comes to making those tough decisions…

Strong decision-making skills require knowledge. Never stop learning.
Strong decision-making skills require discretion and discernment. Surround yourself with wise counsel.
Strong decision-making skills require strong character. Embrace your mistakes and make sure you learn from them.

WHAT DOES A LEADER LOOK LIKE?

Tue, 30 Jun 2015 16:20:00 GMT

America is an interesting country. It’s the land of the free and the home of the brave. And every four years we look for a leader that we believe will reflect the necessary bravery that is required to protect our freedoms. Some have obviously done a better job than others. But what does a leader look like? Can you spot one when you see one?

Interestingly enough, there does appear to be a pattern of what leadership looks like in the eyes of Americans throughout our country’s history. With the exception of our nations first African American president, Barack Obama, every American president starting with George Washington had very similar physical attributes. Historically, the average height of American presidents has been approximately six feet tall, with an average weight of 175-185 pounds. And until president Obama was elected, they have also all been white males. Race aside, President Obama also falls into the height and weight pattern of what America seems to gravitate to in its subconscious “image of a leader.”

The reality is, you cannot identify a leader based strictly on physical appearance or even physical attributes.

In addition to having witnessed poor leadership by several men that have held the position of president, I’m sure you have all experienced disappointments in your personal lives with people in positions of leadership that “look the part”.

One of the challenges with identifying a good leader is you cannot see their leadership just by looking at them. No matter how tall, how strong, how fit, well-dressed, or even how good looking someone is, that does not qualify him or her to be a good leader. These things may attribute to his or her popularity, but we cannot confuse popularity with purpose.

Leaders lead with purpose, not looks. And those that are called to lead, I mean truly called to lead and to be great, are chosen based on their heart and their character, not on their outward appearance or impressiveness.

To truly evaluate great leadership you have to flip the script and look at the candidates from the inside out. You have to be able to see the things that aren’t readily visible. Look at their heart, look at their character, and look at their compassion. These are the things that matter most.

One of the greatest leaders that ever lived was King David. Yes, the same David that slayed Goliath. When God sent His HR recruiter Sam to Jesse’s training camp for leaders to find a new leader, Sam and Jesse both considered all the candidates except David. They considered seven other guys strictly on appearance alone before anointing David as King. The other seven were obviously bigger, stronger, and more battle-tested. All of which are great attributes that matter and can be very beneficial for a leader.

David, however was the youngest, the smallest and the least experienced of them all. But the size and strength of David’s heart, character, compassion and faith are what gave him the edge.

So what does a leader look like? I’d love to hear what you think. My response to that question is that you simply look in the mirror. Each and every one of you has what it takes to be a leader. The question is, are you willing to answer the call, and stop using your status, background or physical attributes as an excuse.

If you can look in the mirror and confidently answer yes to these three questions, then you are looking at a leader.

Do I have a heart to serve?
Do I have compassion for others?
Am I a person of great character and integrity?

If the answers are yes to these questions, then stop playing games and start leading.

SEEKING INTEGRATION OVER BALANCE

Thu, 18 Jun 2015 14:33:00 GMT

Achieving work-life balance became a big deal when Generation X came of age and entered the workplace. The notion of work-life balance to Baby Boomers at the time was viewed as somewhat of a compromised work ethic. This perception of having a poor work ethic is partially why Generation X was labeled as the “Slacker Generation.”

The idea of work-life balance eventually began to catch on though. Even the Baby Boomers who had built their wealth on the premise of focus, hard work, and burning the candle at both ends began to realize the importance of a work-life balance. They ultimately realized that “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” (The Shining – 1980).

In an effort to increase morale, avoid burn out, and create more productive teams, corporations began to support and encourage work-life balance among its employees. Although this concept eventually gained favor and widespread acceptance, Generation X never did lose that title of “Slacker Generation.” I guess every generation has its own cross to bear. Millennials are no different in that regard. Where Generation X was considered to be “Slackers”, Millennials have been labeled as just flat out LAZY!

You see… Millennials don’t just want work-life balance; this generation expects work-life integration. Where Generation X was at least willing to do whatever they had to do in the workforce to earn a living, they just wanted some time off every now and then and didn’t want to work 80-hour workweeks every week. Millennials on the other hand aren’t as willing to do just anything. They want to pursue their passions.

So, how exactly do Millennials see the difference between work-life balance and work-life integration that has earned them the label of being lazy?

For starters, Millennials place a premium on happiness. And they believe that happiness is something that happens now, not something that is deferred for later in life in your retirement years.

Millennials also view the notion of health and wellness through a very different lens than previous generations. Health and wellness to Millennials is less about having good insurance, frequent doctor visits or regular checkups. For Millennials, health and wellness is more holistic. It’s about spending quality time with family & friends, memorable experiences and regular exercise.

In order for Millennials to lead the holistic life of happiness, health & wellness that you expect, it will require you to identify a career choice that you can seamlessly integrate into your daily life. This also requires pursuing a career that you are passionate about because when it is something that is integrated into the fiber of your life, you are never really off. Essentially what you do becomes an extension of who you are.

Balance, on the other hand, implies to Millennials that there are opposing or competing forces at work against each other much like a seesaw. This means that when one is up the other will be down, or that you have to regularly sacrifice one thing (i.e. family & friends) for another.

Much like the introduction of work-life balance from Generation X, I imagine that the notion of work-life integration from Millennials will take some getting used to.

I believe that seeking integration over balance is a natural process on the continuum of this generation’s quest for identifying and defining a purpose beyond profit.

To my Millennial crew that are still seeking integration over balance, I leave you with these three nuggets…

Never confuse who you are with what you do.
Remember that why you do what you do is more important than what you do.
Be open to doing what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

BATTLE OF THE MILLENNIAL MINDSETS

Wed, 17 Jun 2015 14:13:00 GMT

Congratulations to The Golden State Warriors on winning the 2014-2015 NBA Championship! This NBA Championship series was essentially a battle between two of the most popular Millennials in the world… Stephen Curry and LeBron James. And for as many generational attributes as these two players have in common, they represent two very different Millennial personality types and leadership styles.

Lets look at the commonalities…

Steph Curry and LeBron James both share in what I believe are the seven biggest Millennial expectations and characteristics for their generation. Those seven characteristics are as follows…

Confidence
Convenience
Connectivity
Control
Customization
Collaboration
Community

They both displayed these attributes themselves as well as sought them out in others. How these expectations and attributes manifest themselves in each of these individuals differed by their personality types and leadership styles.

Although both guys embodied and displayed all seven attributes, their personality types dictated how much weight they placed on one attribute over the others. LeBron appeared to display a very authoritative leadership style and leaned heavily on confidence. We saw this with his proclamation of being the best player in the world. And I personally agree with him on that. What message did that send?

The leadership approach that LeBron took is often necessary but no one leadership approach will be effective with everyone. There are times when you need to be a more authoritative leader, and there are times when you will need to be a more affiliate leader. Knowing when to take what approach depends on situations, circumstances and the people involved.

I believe that LeBron’s authoritative approach of proclaiming to be the best player in the world and leaning more heavily on his confidence attribute sent this message… “Hey fellas, I got this; just follow me.” And this can be a powerful message in the right situation, circumstance, and with the right people.

It appeared that Steph Curry’s approach of displaying strength through humility and displaying a more affiliate leadership style allowed him to lean more heavily on collaboration. Steph’s humble approach was almost in direct contrast to LeBron’s approach. Humility is defined as a modest opinion of ones own importance. This does not mean that you are not aware of your own greatness, gifts, and talents; you just find ways to empower your team to understand their own significance. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, its simply thinking of yourself less. What message did that send?

I believe the message that Steph sent to his teammates was “Come on fellas, this isn’t about me, its about us, and together we can do this.”

This Battle of The Millennials in the 2015 NBA Finals was one for the record books. Congratulations to both the Cleveland Cavalier and Golden State Warrior Organizations.

We saw two of the most recognized Millennials in the world displaying seven of the biggest Millennial expectations and attributes for the world to see. We also witnessed two very unique and different approaches to meeting their expectations in pursuit of their dreams.

In addition to providing the world with an incredibly competitive and entertaining series, our two Millennial All-Stars, Steph Curry and LeBron James also provided some great leadership lessons for other Millennials to build on.

Three simple but valuable leadership lessons to take away from the 2015 NBA Finals.

We is greater than me.
It’s not about you.
Teamwork makes the dream work.

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." —Lao Tzu

HOW’S YOUR SELF-DISCIPLINE?

Tue, 16 Jun 2015 15:28:00 GMT

Hopefully your parents or guardians disciplined you when you were younger. This is not because I take any joy in whatever misery this may have caused you, but because I know the value of discipline. And if no one disciplined you when you were younger, it is highly unlikely that you’re able to exercise a lot of self-discipline now that you’re older.

Without self-discipline, it will be hard for you to achieve and sustain any long-term success in life.

As you continue to climb your ladder of success you will face many challenges and temptations along the way. This holds true for every phase of your success journey. Whether you’re in college, a young professional, or a budding executive… self-discipline will be vital to your success.

When you were younger, you had your parents to tell you what you could and couldn’t do. And they helped you understand the consequences of making bad choices by disciplining you. Now that you’re all grown up and no one is making your decisions for you anymore, my question to you is… How’s your self-discipline?

Having strong self-discipline can save your career, save your marriage, and even save your life.

I personally know men and women that have lost their jobs, their family, their money and even more because they weren’t able to say no when they should have.

Self-discipline doesn’t only apply to knowing when to say no though. It also helps to control your emotions. Never allow your emotions to take precedent over you education. As the late Maya Angelou often reminded us… when you know better you should do better.

The greater your success, the greater the temptations you will face. And the more power you acquire the more tempted you’ll be to abuse that power. It will require a strong sense of self-discipline to resist these temptations.

Self-discipline is also important for your health. The days that you don’t feel like going to the gym, you still need to go even when there is no one around to make you go. When its more convenient to eat fast food and junk everyday because you’re so busy, you’ll still need to monitor what you put in your body.

At the end of the day, it’s your self-discipline that will ensure your ability to achieve and maintain success and true happiness in every area of your life. So, again I ask you my millennial friends… How’s your self-discipline?

If it’s good then I applaud you and encourage you to continue to exercise that quality and keep making it stronger. If its not so strong, below are three things that you can do to help strengthen your self-discipline…

Lead Yourself NOT Into Temptation. If you know that there are certain things that are hard for you to resist avoid those “problem areas”. Leave the credit card at home if you have a problem with spending. Don’t go to the club if you have a problem staying faithful.
Practice Success. Begin doing the things that you know you should be doing in small doses. Set some short-term goals that are achievable and increase your frequency from there. Commit to going to going to the gym at least once a week. Start preparing a home cooked meal at least three times a week.
Pursue Your Passions. When you do what you love, you’ll always love what you do and it will be much easier to stay committed. When you’re passionate about what you do, it inspires you to become your best version of yourself to help ensure your success.

FAMILIARITY BREEDS TRUST

Thu, 11 Jun 2015 17:48:00 GMT

There is a popular expression that states “familiarity breeds contempt.” This expression originated based on the moral to one of Aesop’s Fables, “The Fox and The Lion.” I respectfully disagree with Mr. Aesop… at least when it comes to people. When discussing relationships between people, it is my belief that frequency breeds familiarity, and familiarity breeds trust.

Depending on where and how you receive your news and information these days, you could be led to believe that there is a war taking place in America between law enforcement agencies and Multicultural Millennials.

It appears that every week there is another smartphone video, YouTube clip or news story in the media about a police officer using excessive force, mistreating, abusing, and even in some cases, taking the lives of black youth; both men and women.

These series of unfortunate incidents between law enforcement and our nations multicultural youth has many of their parents desperately seeking solutions to not only help their sons and daughters understand how to thrive in this country, but simply how to survive.

There is no easy fix to the issues that we are facing in America with perceptions of Multicultural Millennials, and Millennials across the board for that matter.

In addition to law enforcement, another one of the nations most influential and impactful institutions is the media, which plays a significant role in the perceptions that many law enforcement officers have of multicultural youth.

I believe a good start towards a solution is to focus on building trust. There appears to be a serious lack of trust and in some cases a spirit of fear that exists between law enforcement and multicultural communities. And in my opinion, familiarity does not breed contempt as our friend Aesop suggested thousands of years ago; I believe familiarity breeds trust.

To all my Millennial crew, especially my Multicultural Millennial crew, I suggest getting familiar with your local law enforcement officers and begin building bridges. The more time you spend with someone, the better you get to know him or her. And it’s much easier to hold someone accountable that you have a relationship with. I also believe that perceptions unchallenged become reality.

Below is a link that shows a brief clip from a series called Barbershop Rap Sessions that Tru Access conducts with local law enforcement officers in Cary, North Carolina. These sessions are conducted in an effort to familiarize the officers with the members of the African American community and begin to challenge some of those perceptions and build trust.

Remember… frequency breeds familiarity and familiarity breeds trust.

Check out the clip…

EVERY VISION HAS A PRICE

Thu, 04 Jun 2015 18:04:00 GMT

Tell your people where you plan on taking them, how you plan on getting there, and the challenges that they will encounter along the way. Many organizations focus on sharing the benefits of joining their organization, as they should. But do not stop there. Any organization that has a vision of accomplishing something great is going to have some challenges along the way. And the members of that organization will have to share in the experience of those challenges.

The rewards, benefits, perks and prizes of joining an organization are often well worth it. But everything has a price, and knowing that price up front will greatly impact your experience at that organization. It’s simply a matter of properly managing expectations.

I’m seeing and hearing from more and more Millennials that are stepping into leadership roles, starting their own businesses and developing their own teams. For those of you that are taking on the responsibility of leading others, please remember that when you only promote the perks and hide the price, it usually results in resentment. And any organization that is seeking to accomplish something meaningful will run into some challenges long the way. And those challenges represent the price that your team has to be willing to pay to receive the perks, prizes, privileges and profits that you’ve laid out.

Great leaders are able to get the most out of their people because they paint a very clear picture of where they are going and what it will take to get there. Sharing what you offer to someone, as an organization, in exchange for his or her time and services is not enough. The reality is that the time and service that someone commits to your organization comes with a price, and they want to know what that price is.

To be an effective leader, you must lay out the vision to your team and let them decide if it is a vision that they want to buy into. And every great vision will, or at least should be challenging to accomplish. The more challenging the vision, the greater the price! But every vision has a price.

"The fact that the price must be paid is proof that it is worth paying" ~ Robert Jordan

NO “IFS” IN COMMITMENT

Mon, 01 Jun 2015 17:46:00 GMT

Attention all Millennials… the leadership torch is being passed on to you and there is a lot to learn about being a good leader in the 21st century. One of the first things that you should know about being a good leader in the 21st century is that good enough is no longer good enough.

The world needs you to aspire to be great. Study the great leaders in history and ask yourself what made them great. What set them apart from the rest? Why was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. so different? What was it that set Winston Churchill apart? What was it about Eleanor Roosevelt that was so inspiring? They all shared many of the same qualities and two of those qualities are confidence and commitment.

Confidence is vital to being a great leader. I believe that confidence is the cornerstone of great leadership. Confidence alone, however, is not enough. Another critical attribute to great leadership is commitment. And much like confidence is the cornerstone of great leadership, I believe that commitment is the backbone of great leadership.

I want all of my Millennial crew to know that as you are on your journey to achieving greatness in the 21st century, it will require you to develop strong leadership skills. And much like the great leaders throughout history, if you too are going to be great, you must recognize and understand the power and purpose of commitment.

Commitment is one of those things easier said than done. And although we all want and expect it from others, we struggle with making them to others. (And often times to ourselves).

One important thing to remember about commitments is there are no “ifs” in commitments. You are either going to do it or you’re not. And commitment is very closely connected to consistency. Your discipline of consistency is often times what eliminates the “ifs.” You know those “ifs”… I’ll go to the gym this morning “if” I feel up to it, I’ll go to church this Sunday “if” I wake up on time, I’ll turn in every assignment on time “if” I can just get a new laptop.

"There are no “ifs” in commitment. Commitments aren’t a matter of convenience. Commitments aren’t even a matter of choice. Once you’ve made it a commitment, it’s no longer a choice; it’s what you are going to do no matter what."

Commitments are more along the lines of “although” statements. You begin to make statements like… “Although” I don’t feel like it, I’m still going to the gym this morning; “Although the weather is bad I’m still going to church this Sunday and “Although” I’d like a new laptop, I’m still going to turn in every assignment on time.

Below are 3 things to keep in mind for my Millennial crew about the power and purpose of commitment…

“Ifs” simply a negotiation, not a commitment. There are no “ifs” in commitment #MillennialLeadership #BeCommitted
Others will commit to you based on whom or what you are committed to. #MillennialLeadesrhip #BeCommitted
Once you commit, it’s no longer a choice. Don’t wake up & decide “if” you’re going to do it. Just do it. #MillennialLeadesrhip #BeCommitted

THE RUMBLE WITH BEING HUMBLE

Fri, 29 May 2015 14:33:00 GMT

Many people often mistake humility for being soft, or weak, or even something that requires you to think less of yourself. Humility is none of those things. I believe humility is actually one of the most powerful character strengths you can posses. Here’s why…

Humility is defined as a modest opinion of ones own importance. Another definition is the self-restraint from excessive vanity. The interesting dynamic about these two positions on humility is that one seems to serve as a repellant while the other operates as a magnet. In other words, we shy away from downplaying how important we think we are, and are constantly drawn into an indulgent lifestyle of show & tell.

"The first point that you should understand is this… Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s simply thinking of yourself less."

There are riches, rewards and recognition that extend beyond the monetary and material things in the world, and leaders that understand the power and value of humility are the one’s that get to experience those levels of success.

The leaders that express a desire to give that exceeds his or her expectation to receive will always end up receiving the most. They are always richer on a more holistic level. Where leaders that lack humility may achieve high levels of monetary and material success for a season, it is often short-lived and/or leaves them bankrupt in other areas.

Those of you that learn not to rumble with being humble will lead lives that include more long-term holistic success. This includes being rich financially, relationally, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Another thing to keep in mind about being humble is the more accomplished you become in the eyes of the world, the harder it will be to maintain your humility. With all the perks, pleasures and privileges that come with money and power, its hard for you not to start feeling yourself and thinking that its all about you.

The best way to avoid the trappings and temptations that come with money and power is to give it back to the people that give it to you. I’m not suggesting that you stand on the rooftop and start making it rain every Friday or declining promotions. This is about giving back and empowering others. Be giving of your time, talent and treasure to help others succeed. Be inclusive and provide platforms for others to share their gifts and talents.

Great leaders are confident enough to forge ahead with resilience and resolve to accomplish the mission while still displaying a level of humility that enables them to listen and learn from others along the way without feeling compromised or threatened.

Below are 3 tips on Humility for my Millennial crew to keep in mind on your leadership journey…

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, its simply thinking of yourself less. #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior
Confidence enables you to be a great teacher; Humility allows you to be a great student. #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior
Good bosses make you feel like they are important. Good leaders make you feel important. #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior

BUILDING STRONG LEADERSHIP SKILLS

Thu, 28 May 2015 15:16:00 GMT

I’ve never officially been in the construction business. Maybe some of you have, but I’m sure that like me, many of you haven’t. I would argue however, that because we are all perpetual “works in progress”, we are personally and professionally always “under construction”. What does that construction process look like for building your dreams in the 21st Century?

I believe that the individuals and organizations that will thrive in the 21st Century will be the one’s that place an emphasis on effective leadership.

As more and more of my Millennial crew are entering the workforce, I urge you to develop strong leadership skills. That’s what organizations seem to want and appear to desperately need.

When you look at some of the societal issues that we have faced in America in recent years, a lot of it is due to poor leadership.

As you begin to build strong leadership skills, take lessons from the building professionals… your friendly neighborhood construction teams. And one of the first things to take note of in regard to construction teams is that there is always a team! Teamwork makes the dream work and every dream needs a team!

Another important lesson in construction is that the building process for every great construction always starts with the foundation. And the foundation for leadership is character!

It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how talented you are, how strong you are or how fast you are; if you lack character, then you will not be an effective leader.

Character cannot be prepared in the microwave. Character is built over time. Character is shaped by the knowledge and understanding of what is true and what is right. It also requires the discipline to make choices and decisions based on what you know is true and right, even when it is not the convenient or popular thing to do.

So what is the best way to grow and strengthen your character?

Character comes from experience. You will have to find yourself in some uncomfortable situations that require some tough decisions. You will make some mistakes you will experience some frustrations and learn some tough lessons. These will all build character though, and provide you with a solid foundation to be an effective leader.

Another way to build your character is through learning from other people’s experiences. That’s one of the areas in which team plays a vital role. Build you a team of mentors that includes of men and women of character that are willing to share their counsel & wisdom, along with the benefits of their experiences.

Here are 3 things for my Millennial Crew to keep in mind when building leadership skills…

Leadership skills are vital in order to thrive in the 21st Century #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior
A strong character & integrity are always at the foundation of effective leadership. #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior
Character cannot be prepared in the microwave. It has to be built over time through experiences. #MillennialLeadership #HeroicBehavior

THE MILLENNIAL PUSH

Tue, 26 May 2015 16:29:00 GMT

“The genius thing that we did was we didn’t give up”. Of all the great lyrics that Shawn Carter aka Jay-Z has ever penned, this is probably my favorite quote of his. And this wasn’t even from one of his songs. This is a quote from Mr. Carter during an interview in response to what he believes has been a key to his success.

My message to my Millennial crew today is “keep pushing!” And push in only the way that you and your generation can push; I call it The Millennial Push.

The thing that is unique about The Millennial Push compared to any other generational push, is the behaviors and values that have been influenced and inspired by technology. The Millennial Push is not derailed by situations and circumstances; it’s actually sparked because of situations and circumstances. This generational trait is also made up in part by the lessons inherited from the two generations that came directly before the Millennials… Generation X and The Baby Boomers.

The Millennial Push is powered in part by Generation X’s informality and work-life balance attributes. The Millennial drive to succeed also reflects the Baby Boomer attributes of optimism, activism and work ethic. That’s right ladies and gentlemen… work ethic!

As a generation, one of the things that Baby Boomers are known for is their incredible work ethic. Contrary to popular belief, Millennials share in their parent’s work ethic, but with a slight twist. The Millennial work ethic is fueled by passion and purpose. The task at hand needs to be something that they believe in and have a clear understanding of the “why” to be sure that it aligns with their “why”.

The Millennial Push even has a slight remix to its inherited Gen X attribute of work-life balance. Millennials believe more in work-life integration. They prefer not to separate “who” they are from “what” they do. This also supports the Millennial work ethic attribute, whereas this generation of go-getters are willing to work around the clock on building something that they believe in.

At the end of the day, The Millennial Push is necessary for us all, because as this generation pushes forward, it pushes the rest of society forward along with it.

My words of encouragement today for my Millennial crew as you continue your Millennial Push is to remember these 3 things…

Skills alone will not push you past obstacles. Skills are important, but it’s your effort that will make the difference. #MillennialPush
Write down your Life Purpose statement & make it clear. When you want to stop, refer to it as a reminder of why you started. #MillennialPush
One of the most genius things that you can do is to never give up. #MillennialPush

THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE BETTER

Mon, 18 May 2015 14:37:00 GMT

Why do bad things happen to good people? This is one of those age-old questions that has confused and confounded people for years. This question continues its legacy of confusion with the Millennial generation.

Whenever graduation season rolls around, there are always plenty of high hopes and great expectations. Those hopes and expectations range from landing a job, to getting into graduate school, to simply having met all of the necessary criteria to actually graduate. And as much as we celebrate the graduates, job-landers, and overachievers during this season, the reality is, not all of you will have your hopes and expectations fulfilled.

Some of you will find yourselves disappointed and unfulfilled simply because you didn’t want it bad enough and you didn’t work hard enough, and these are the consequences of the choices that you made. It’s still not too late. You simply have to recommit and work harder from this point on. And whatever you do, don’t ever give up.

Many of you worked hard, gave it your all, stayed out of trouble and did what you believed was the right and responsible thing, and still found yourself disappointed and unfulfilled during this season. You didn’t get into graduate school, you didn’t land a job and maybe for financial reasons or other reasons out of your control, you were not able to walk across that stage and graduate with your classmates.

You now find yourself asking that age-old question… “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

This can be a very confusing and frustrating position to be in. It can cause you to resent the school, the company, the system, and/or anybody that you believe had anything to do with why your hopes were crushed. Although that’s a natural response, I challenge you to channel that energy into revising the plan. Use these experiences as your motivation to show them all that you can’t be stopped and that you won’t be stopped. This is your opportunity to get even better than you already are.

I believe that bad things happen to good people in an effort to make the good in you even better. Better! Bigger! Stronger! Faster!

To my Millennial game-changers out there that did not have things go the way that you had hoped this graduation season, please remember these 3 things…

It’s always to early to give up.
It’s okay to change the approach as long as you don’t give up on the Dream.
Never grow weary of doing good. Because even when you do good and bad happens, it's just preparing you for better.

MEETING MILLENNIAL EXPECTATIONS

Thu, 07 May 2015 16:01:00 GMT

If you are currently a member of the Millennial generation or part of an organization that’s seeking to better understand how to connect with Millennials more effectively, this post is for you.

With the coming-of-age of each generation comes a generation gap, often accompanied by a culture gap and then there is arguably the biggest gap of all… The Expectation Gap! The generation gap and the culture gaps are what usually fuel and create the expectation gap. And although the expectation gap is usually where the biggest disconnects tend to occur across the different generations’, this particular challenge appears to be addressed the least.

The Millennials that are winning and the organizations that are winning with Millennials all understand the 7 most important Millennial Expectations and how to ensure those expectations are met.

Those 7 expectations are as follows…

Confidence
Convenience
Control
Connection
Customization
Collaboration
Community

It is becoming more and more vital that Millennials themselves develop a level of generational and self-awareness that informs them as to why they are driven and motivated in ways that are so different than any other generation before them. This will help strengthen their Emotional Intelligence in a way that will empower them to better understand how to navigate the above 7 C’s to effectively bridge the expectation gaps and help ensure that their Millennial Expectations are met.

As conceding or even enabling as it may sound to some, I believe that “Meeting Millennial Expectations” should become a standard part of preparation, practice and performance for any member of the Millennial generation and/or Millennial focused organization that expects to thrive as a leader in the 21st Century.

It’s important for all parties involved in this process to understand why the expectations are what they are based on the generational shaping events of our time and exactly what this means to Millennials currently on his or her success journey. This also greatly benefits any organization seeking to connect with Millennials in both the workplace and the marketplace.

Whether you’re a Millennial who wants to be better prepared in your transition from college to corporate or a young professional looking to elevate your career or a college, corporation or church looking to increase relevance among this audience, “Meeting Millennial Expectations” should be a required course for all.

HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU?

Mon, 27 Apr 2015 17:01:00 GMT

“On a perfect day, I know that I can count on you. But when that’s not possible, tell me… can you weather the storm?” Although the young modern day philosopher that posed this question was known more for his vocal riffs than his commitment challenges, the question remains valid… “Can you weather the storm?”

The world is in desperate need of a hero. But with the host of storms, issues and challenges that we are facing, not just any one hero will do. We need HEROES! I’m talking The Avengers, meets The Defenders, meets The Justice League type of collaboration. Are you one of the heroes we’re looking for? Are you prepared to walk into the eye of the storm and tackle it head on when others are running in the opposite direction?

This is far from a solo mission people. And who better to facilitate this heroic collaboration than the collaboration generation itself… That’s right Millennials; I’m talking to you!

I believe that collectively, Millennials are the hero generation that will usher society back to the generational high that we all desire. The world is broken and The Millennials are here to fix it. You can rebuild it. You have the technology. You can make it better than it was. Better, stronger, faster! (In my Oscar Goldman voice)

Please understand that this colossal task that you are up against will require a lot. It will require more than just your time, your talent and your treasure. It will require your commitment! So my questions to you are “How Committed Are You?” and “Can you weather the storm?”

"Your degree of contribution in this world will be directly related to your level of commitment."

Storms in life are inevitable. Society is in the midst of a storm right now. The issues and controversy surrounding race relations, police brutality, economic inequality, terrorist threats and quality of education cannot be ignored. We need heroes that are committed to step up and defeat these giants!

We need that David-defeats-Goliath type of commitment. And much like our young friend David, you all have the opportunity to showcase your heroic behavior and slay these generational giants that are threatening your livelihood. Your secret weapon however is your commitment.

It’s your commitment to self-improvement, growth and development that will make the difference. It’s your commitment to doing things differently even when others insist you do them the same way that everyone else does it. It’s your commitment to show up even on the stormy days and not allow your level of effort to be dictated by the conditions or circumstances.

David had his slingshot. He was a slinger. He defeated the giant that his older generation counterparts were not able to defeat because he did things differently.

David was successful because he played to his strengths. He was a proficient slinger because he was committed to self-improvement and development in this area, even when nobody was watching. Lets not forget that David was in the gym practicing his slinging skills on lions and tigers and bears when nobody else was around.

It’s not going to be easy, and everyday is not going to be perfect. But anyone can shine on a sunny day. The real heroes are committed to shining regardless of the forecast.

How committed are you?