http://truecampaign.org/index.php en info@truecampaign.org Copyright 2009 2009-06-19T03:08:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/gospel_self_esteem/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/gospel_self_esteem/#When:03:08:00Z The Mission statement of the True Campaign reads: The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended. From the beginning we’ve wanted to address the topic of self-image (and self-esteem) because it is so closely tied to body image and eating issues. Additionally, the idea that a woman’s acceptance of herself contributes to her freedom in this area is a common assumption held by many in our culture. Studies seem to support this idea. For example, the creative people at the Dove Self-Esteem Fund commissioned a study which found that 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling badly about themselves (compared to 25% of girls with high self-esteem). In response, efforts to prevent and treat disordered eating, obesity and body hatred have been aimed at increasing self-esteem and helping girls believe that they are truly beautiful. But is it working?  The Mission statement of the True Campaign reads: The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended. From the beginning we’ve wanted to address the topic of self-image (and self-esteem) because it is so closely tied to body image and eating issues. Additionally, the idea that a woman’s acceptance of herself contributes to her freedom in this area is a common assumption held by many in our culture. Studies seem to support this idea. For example, the creative people at the Dove Self-Esteem Fund commissioned a study which found that 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling badly about themselves (compared to 25% of girls with high self-esteem). In response, efforts to prevent and treat disordered eating, obesity and body hatred have been aimed at increasing self-esteem and helping girls believe that they are truly beautiful. But is it working? I’m not the only one asking these questions. Many are asking hard questions about the assumptions pop-culture makes about higher self-esteem being a cure-all. Recent studies seem to be showing that the pursuit of higher self-esteem may not be all it is cracked up to be. The book Generation Me reports that despite self-esteem scores dramatically increasing since the 1960’s and 70s other mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression and suicide have been rising as well. Additionally, during this same time frame the incidence of eating disorders has doubled. In other words, self-esteem has increased as a result of these efforts but mental health has not. So is anyone else coming up with an alternative? Well, yes. Researchers at the University of Michigan have made some interesting discoveries. In a yet-to-be published study Teresa Granillo, working with Dr. Jennifer Crocker, found that when college girls who struggled with eating disorder behaviors became involved in compassionate, other-centered activities their symptoms decreased.  When they thought less about improving their self-esteem through weight-loss or appearance, they experienced more freedom from eating disorder behaviors. Please hear me clearly. I’m not suggesting a degrading of oneself or promoting passivity. In fact, what I like to call Gospel Self-esteem is far more powerful than simply trying to convince yourself that you are valuable through positive self-talk and affirmations. Based on an understanding that we have incredible value as creations of God and that He is committed to our good without ignoring our failure, Gospel self-esteem means trusting that what God says about me is true. That is the basis for incredible boldness and liberating humility. It results in what popular author and pastor Tim Keller calls “Blessed Self-Forgetfulness” – a healthy self-image where you are not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself in false humility, but thinking of yourself less.” Some who struggle with these issues clearly need to learn to set boundaries, say “no” to unreasonable requests of others and learn self-care but, the ultimate path to freedom is not found in more self-focus, rather it comes as we get caught up in something (or Someone) bigger than us. That’s why we believe so strongly in the true:shift project, our partnership with Food for the Hungry. By sponsoring a child who lacks basic needs like healthy meals and simple education you will begin to experience gratitude, purpose and a sense of contributing to the greater good. Don’t take my word for it. Try it out yourself. Find something or someone to give to this week. Listen to someone, serve someone, contribute to a cause. And later, when your thoughts return to yourself you might just discover what you haven’t worried about for a while...yourself. 2009-06-19T03:08:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cinderella_and_the_kingdom_of_god/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cinderella_and_the_kingdom_of_god/#When:15:14:00Z We’ve asked Margot Starbuck, a writer and speaker living in Durham, NC to contribute to the True Campaign blog. We hope you will be impacted by her thoughtful and poignant insights into culture and beauty. Welcome to the True Campaign Margot! When it comes to mass-emailed stories, jokes, photos and video links I have a relatively firm “don’t read and quickly delete” policy. Really, people, I’ve got better things to do with my life. Usually. My friend MJ got me today, though, by starting her email, “You probably all know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen the news today.” I didn’t and I hadn’t.  I certainly didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t know and hadn’t seen.  So, against my better judgment, I clicked. We’ve asked Margot Starbuck, a writer and speaker living in Durham, NC to contribute to the True Campaign blog. We hope you will be impacted by her thoughtful and poignant insights into culture and beauty. Welcome to the True Campaign Margot! When it comes to mass-emailed stories, jokes, photos and video links I have a relatively firm “don’t read and quickly delete” policy. Really, people, I’ve got better things to do with my life. Usually. My friend MJ got me today, though, by starting her email, “You probably all know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen the news today.” I didn’t and I hadn’t.  I certainly didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t know and hadn’t seen.  So, against my better judgment, I clicked. It was a clip from one of those talent search shows called Britain’s Got Talent. That cynical Simon Cowell was one of the judges. The clip begins by introducing viewers to a contestant named Susan Boyle.  I’ll save you the click by simply informing you that everything about Susan Boyle was—by Hollywood’s standards—wrong. Producers set the first shot of Susan Boyle to a comic soundtrack which evoked images of a clumsy clomping elephant. The unflattering shot shows Ms. Boyle opening her mouth to shove in a sandwich. Sandwich aside, she certainly doesn’t look like anyone most of us are used to watching for long on our televisions. Sure, we’ll tolerate physical imperfection for the first few episodes of Biggest Loser, but typically we don’t have a lot of patience for much besides the kind of Hollywood glam we’ve been conditioned to expect. And deserve. Ms. Boyle’s curly graying hair seemed to be pulled back, or brushed down, in a shape that I am not certain was ever particularly stylish. Dark bushy eyebrows framed a pale face. She had the kind of hanging double chin that most of us try to disguise or cover when we’re being photographed. I do, anyway. She introduces herself to the camera, “My name is Susan Boyle. I’m nearly forty-eight, currently unemployed but still looking, and I’m going to sing for you on Britain’s Got Talent today.” She continues, “At the moment I live alone with my cat called Pebbles. I’ve never been married. I’ve never been kissed.” Then flashing a look of mock sadness, she playfully bemoans “Oh, shame!” At the end of the clip, squinting her eyes in determination, Susan Boyle promises with steely resolve, “I’m going to make that audience rock.” I assume she most likely said more stuff, but producers cropped it just to highlight the particularly uncomfortable and socially awkward parts. The subtext of the editing, of course, is to lure us all into agreeing that Susan Boyle isn’t worth very much, by the world’s standards.  Judging from the audience’s facial expressions, it worked.  While Ms. Boyle chats with Simon Cowell before her performance, nervously stumbling over her words, cameras pan to attractive disgusted audience members wincing, rolling their eyes, and turning toward each other to marvel at how…unconventional…this woman is. As the soundtrack from Les Mis begins, though, Susan Boyle has only to pipe out eight words before minds and faces are judgey opinions are changed. “I dreamed a dream in time gone by…” By the time she gets to that eighth word, she has been justified. Well-manicured judging eyebrows rise. Eyes widen. Audience members began clapping, whistling. Before long the crowd has risen to their feet, wild with adulation. I’m not particularly music-ee and even I knew that I was listening to, watching, a truly gifted woman. We love this stuff, don’t we? We eat it up. It’s even better than a Cinderella story, because this Cinderella is too old, too heavy, too grey, too unsophisticated. In a word, she’s “us.” Except with talent. And that’s the single piece of this great story that leaves me unsettled. We all feel warm and fuzzy inside whether we’re seated in the actual television audience or watching the clip on youtube. Some part of us feels like we’ve been sort of generous to applaud someone who doesn’t typically fit into the world’s mold of acceptability. So bravo for us for being so open minded.  In the end, though, Susan Boyle still had to earn the approval and praise of her audience. She had to prove that she was worthy of acceptance. Sure, it’s sort of the nature of a talent competition, but if we’re really honest it’s sort of the nature of…the world. In my fantasies I like to imagine a world where Susan Boyle swaggers out on stage and gets the standing ovation for no other reason than being someone who reflects the image of God. Friends, that dreamy world is called the Kingdom of God. Live into it. Margot Starbuck is the author of The Girl in the Orange Dress: Searching for a Father Who Does Not Fail (July 2009), and an upcoming book on women’s bodies, both with Intervarsity Press (summer of 2010).  Margot’s writing has appeared in Brio, Today’s Christian Woman, Adoptive Families, and other national magazines.  Learn more at www.margotstarbuck”. 2009-04-20T15:14:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/i_made_the_shift_will_you/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/i_made_the_shift_will_you/#When:17:10:00Z I’ve made the shift. Have you? My story of living with an eating disorder is probably a lot like other stories you have heard. A poor sense of identity, low self-esteem, and growing up in a world that idolizes thinness and external beautify, left me feeling dissatisfied with myself nearly all of the time. I would compare myself to the latest “it girl” in fashion magazines and vow to diet until I looked like her. Of course, nobody told me that fashion models are thinner than 98 percent of American women. I’ve made the shift. Have you? My story of living with an eating disorder is probably a lot like other stories you have heard. A poor sense of identity, low self-esteem, and growing up in a world that idolizes thinness and external beautify, left me feeling dissatisfied with myself nearly all of the time. I would compare myself to the latest “it girl” in fashion magazines and vow to diet until I looked like her. Of course, nobody told me that fashion models are thinner than 98 percent of American women. I dieted incessantly, but dieting left me ravenous. Bingeing always followed days of strict dieting. I would eat a whole bag of chips, a box of chocolates, and a half of can of whipped cream—all in one sitting. Then, I used laxatives to purge the food from my body. I realize now that I was trying to purge more than food from my body; I was trying to rid myself of the feelings of self-loathing and self-hatred that had plagued me from childhood. My cycles of bingeing and purging continued for nearly 20 years, until a night in the emergency room after downing a handful of laxatives left me scared. Scared enough to make a shift. That was 12 years ago. The road to healing was long and hard.  It began with a simple decision—to stop the denial and get the help I needed. A New Shift Recently I decided to take it a step further. I learned of True’s true:shift campaign. This is a GREAT idea, but there’s no way I can participate, I thought. After all, my finances were tight. Real tight. There was just no way I could come up with $32 extra every month! But that’s just it. I didn’t have to come up extra money. The True Campaign was asking me to take some of the money I spent on my outside appearance for things like cosmetics, fashion, and expensive haircuts—things that really don’t satisfy—and shift those resources toward efforts to satisfy the needs of the hungry. I spent some time in prayer then visited the true:shift 2009-03-25T17:10:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/come_see_us_in_visalia_this_week/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/come_see_us_in_visalia_this_week/#When:20:49:00Z Hey guys - kinda busy right now but wanted to let you know that Travis and I will be in CA this week doing a couple things for True, and would love to have you come out if you’re in the area. Specifically, we are doing a “True” event on Thursday night at First Christian Church in Visalia, CA. from 7:00 - 9:00. I’ll be sharing on the amazing journey God has had me on with both freedom from disordered eating and also what I’ve learned in this “Month without Makeup” experiment. Travis will be sharing some VERY engaging stuff re: a biblical view of the body… Hey guys - kinda busy right now but wanted to let you know that Travis and I will be in CA this week doing a couple things for True, and would love to have you come out if you’re in the area. Specifically, we are doing a “True” event on Thursday night at First Christian Church in Visalia, CA. from 7:00 - 9:00. I’ll be sharing on the amazing journey God has had me on with both freedom from disordered eating and also what I’ve learned in this “Month without Makeup” experiment. Travis will be sharing some VERY engaging stuff re: a biblical view of the body. Looking at how our culture both “overvalues” and “undervalues” the body, and how to find the balance. There will be music and video and a surprise ending that just might involve some water and a few unsuspecting attendees… It’s gonna be great, and it’s free, so come if you can. Hosted by Stacy Morris - a True Campaigner (just like some of you) who got excited enough about True to bring us to her town.  2009-03-14T20:49:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_28_and_beyond/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_28_and_beyond/#When:16:42:00Z First, if you haven’t checked it out yet, Travis just posted a new Month Without Makeup podcast I recorded last week with some other brave women (Mandy, Jena, Aubrey and Kelsey) who joined me on the challenge. It’s pretty cool, and (of course) includes more no-makeup pics of me AND some of them too. Speaking of which, I’m still looking for a brave soul to carry on the challenge. No one has stepped up to the plate yet. Hmm… anyone? Leave a comment here if you want to carry the torch. First, if you haven’t checked it out yet, Travis just posted a new Month Without Makeup podcast I recorded last week with some other brave women (Mandy, Jena, Aubrey and Kelsey) who joined me on the challenge. It’s pretty cool, and (of course) includes more no-makeup pics of me AND some of them too. Speaking of which, I’m still looking for a brave soul to carry on the challenge. No one has stepped up to the plate yet. Hmm… anyone? Leave a comment here if you want to carry the torch. Now to the recap… Day 28 On this final day, there are so many thoughts swirling through my mind. It’s kind of strange to be here at the end. Kind of like when you’re gearing up for some big event, such as the birth of a child, and then you’re there. Already. Long after you wished you were and yet somehow earlier than you expected. Some random thoughts going through my mind today… How wonderful it will be to not have to take a picture of myself everyday and post it on Facebook. It will be so nice to just laze around and not even get dressed if I don’t want to. Not worry about trying to make my hair look good. (Not that it’s looked that great, but you know, I had to give it a little effort). No holding up a sign, smiling for the camera 5 to 15 times trying to get a good enough shot – something I can live with – that in spite of the lack of makeup still says something positive about me. Yesterday I talked to an old friend from Sparrow, Grant Hubbard, who had noticed the pics on Facebook. “Well, you look happy in them,” he said, (conspicuously not commenting on whether he thought I looked ok or just plain ugly…). “Um, yeah, I’m smiling for the camera” I said. And that’s the truth. I’ve intentionally tried to smile in each of the shots. In the one or two I didn’t smile in, I noticed that I didn’t like how I looked as much. Even though when I’m staring at myself in the mirror I generally prefer a non-smiling face, a smile – even a makeup-free one – is so much more attractive than a serious pose. I’m taking that with me. Also, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been planning for weeks what I’ll do on my first day after the experiment. I’m going to the Origins counter at Cool Springs Mall for a makeover. I’ve never worn Origins before. I’m a MAC girl. I LOVE my MAC – have all the perfect colors and would love to wear it again, but honestly, after this month my skin is clearer than it’s ever been and I just can’t bear the thought of slathering chemically produced ingredients all over it. Origins is supposed to be natural. My friend Mirandi looked into it for me (now there’s a true friend… she even talked to a specialist for me!), and assures me it’s free of parabens and other bad stuff that’s apparently made it’s way into most of the makeup we put on our skin. Stuff that gets absorbed into our skin, by the way, and messes with our bodies in ways that I’m sure Revlon and L’Oreal would prefer no one explore. This was one of the things that jumped out at me in the America the Beautiful film. It pointed out that our cosmetics in the US are not regulated like they are in other countries, and that there are hundreds of harmful toxins in them. All in the name of “longer lasting” color, “lash extending” mascara, etc. So… I’m going to do that tomorrow. Probably after I do the grocery shopping though, which means I’ll be going out yet again w/o makeup. But hey, by now, it’s no big deal. I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to feel like when I put it on again. As some of you may have noticed, while I may look “fine” without makeup, I definitely do look a bit different with it on. My eyelashes are so light that you don’t see them when I’m not wearing mascara. This one element alone will mean I’ll look a bit different when I put it on tomorrow. I’m trying to go into this with an open mind. To see what I really want to wear. To experiment with how much I need, but to not be afraid to get the coverage I like (an evened out skin tone, etc.). I’m also a little nervous about how people who have been following the experiment will respond. I’m anticipating some may be disappointed in me. They may think I’m giving away something by once again wearing makeup. But as my husband, AJ, reminds me, NOT wearing makeup to please people is really no different in essence than WEARING it to please them. So ultimately, I’ve got to do what seems right for me. Though I’ll be honest and say I don’t like rejection any more than the next girl. I guess that’s it for now. I haven’t left the house yet today. Gonna do money and taxes (yuck) and then I’ve got church tonight and a date with one of my boys after that. A normal day in suburbia… March 1 It’s over! I can’t believe it! Part of me wanted to put makeup on first thing today, but I was holding out for my trip to Origins. I was hoping they’d give me some tradeout if I mentioned them in this here blog. Well, they didn’t. But I’m still mentioning them. Anyway, I went to their store in Green Hills where “Kat” gave me a makeover. I told her all about the challenge and she thought it was cool. Said her boyfriend had just commented to her recently, “What would happen if women no longer needed to wear makeup?” Hmm… Anyway, she looked at all my MAC stuff and paired it up with supposedly comparable Origins stuff. I say “supposedly” because every brand is different and since theirs is more organic (a good thing) it just doesn’t seem to have the same coverage as my MAC (not so good). But my photographer friend Melanie, who came with me on the trip, kept reminding me that I had told her I wanted to try and go more natural. I don’t know why I ever said that. In the end, I’m not sure I looked any better with it than without. But I DID feel a lot more “normal” as we left there and hung out at Panera for a little bit. And of course I couldn’t help but notice the HUGE gobs of makeup some of the others in the restaurant were wearing. I guess hyper-colored eye shadow and blush is all the rage right now. Yikes. March 2 I loved putting on my makeup and doing my hair for the first time in a while. (For some reason, I liked my no-makeup face better w/ no hair around it). So I took a few pics of myself to update my Facebook page now that the challenge is over. Thought it would be fun to have my good friend, Yamaha, in the pic with me. I love music - it’s something that God has used to really minister in my life. I just wish I had more time to play it. After I posted this pic, I got an email from my friend Amber, who said, “I did find it interesting, the care you took in posing with the right background and clothes on the day you got to wear makeup again. Just curious, when you went without make-up, did you do anything else to help build your self esteem or do anything to help you feel more comfortable about your looks? Like did you style your hair or wear the same nice clothes as if you had makeup on? or did everything kind of go to pot?” Hmm… no, everything didn’t go to pot, but yes, I did take care in taking this picture. Why? I guess I wanted to look nice. Again, why? Hmm (again)… March 5 Well, I had anticipated there would be a “let down” when this whole thing was over, and I was right. It’s kind of a bummer to not have a gazillion comments on my Facebook every day, telling me how beautiful I am. Maybe if I shave my head next, I can get them flowing again. Um, maybe not. Seriously, I’m learning now that this is over that there is still so much more for me to learn when it comes to looking to man’s (or woman’s) approval for my sense of personal affirmation. Ain’t ever gonna happen there, I’m thinking, and when it does, it usually doesn’t bear much fruit anyway. Wow. Just so much to learn all the time. So I’ve decided to write a book on the subject: A Month without Makeup: What 28 Days of Feeling Ugly Taught Me about True Beauty. Whaddya think? I’m thinking it will be a quick read, capturing some of the great stuff I’ve learned (and continue to learn) from this thing. In fact, I’ll speak on this theme later this month when I’m in Visalia w/ one of our true campaigners, Stacy Morris. And also at Remuda’s Hungry for Hope conference this summer at Glen Eyrie in CO. Man, is that gonna be cool. (You can come to this, if you want. Check it out!) Today (March 6) Just sitting here, watching the clock tick as I try to wrap this thing up. On the makeup front (in case you’re interested), I’m still not sure if I like the Origins makeup, honestly. It’s weird, but I think my skin actually looked younger somehow without it on. It’s a bummer, because I definitely have spots I’d like to cover up, but a) this stuff doesn’t seem to cover as well as MAC (don’t worry, I’m NOT going back to that stuff. Not yet at least…) and b) it just looks heavy on my skin. Several friends are telling me I need to check into Bare Essentials. And I may, but honestly, even thinking about spending yet more money on makeup is tugging at me a little, especially in light of our true:shift effort. Speaking of which, we now have 14 of you signed up so far, with 9 of those being children from our adopted village of El Gade, Kenya! (The others signed up for children from other countries prior to our adoption of this community.) This means we only need 41 more to complete the sponsorship needs for that village. Will you think about doing that today? You can visit our page at Food for the Hungry’s site and see faces of the children who still need sponsorships. You know, at first it can seem like a big deal to give money to something like this, but honestly, once you do it, it’s not that hard at all. You probably won’t even notice the difference in your budget, but you’ll be making such an incredible difference in someone’s life halfway around the world. It’s a great tradeoff, if you ask me. And yes, we are going there next year, so start thinking and praying about whether God would lead you to join us. If you’re terrified of such a thing (which, believe me, I totally understand), look for a podcast in early April with the fabulous Sara Groves who is actually going on a trip with Food for the Hungry this month and will be able to tell us all about her experiences. I think we’ll all be inspired. And what a good thing it will be to know I can go without makeup with those of you who come with us… 2009-03-06T16:42:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_days_19_26/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_days_19_26/#When:17:14:00Z What an incredible, crazy, up-and-down week it’s been since my last posting. You know, God is teaching me so much every day during this experiment that I’m kind of mad at myself for not journaling it at the end of each day. So I’m going to try and summarize here, going day-by-day to jog my memory for the good stuff. It’s long, but split into small chunks. And I decided to do it in chronological order - my brain just works better that way (rather than going backwards from today)… What an incredible, crazy, up-and-down week it’s been since my last posting. You know, God is teaching me so much every day during this experiment that I’m kind of mad at myself for not journaling it at the end of each day. So I’m going to try and summarize here, going day-by-day to jog my memory for the good stuff. It’s long, but split into small chunks. And I decided to do it in chronological order - my brain just works better that way (rather than going backwards from today)… Day 19 I blogged earlier in the day on day 19, but it was that evening that some big stuff happened. Not “big” as in “exciting” – but big in the sense of what God is teaching me. On the evening of Day 19 (last Thursday) we again had community group. (I posted a pic of this group on Day 5). Guys – I felt TOTALLY ugly that night. It was my third time going to a CG meeting without makeup so you’d think I would have felt totally cool about it, but I didn’t. I just felt ugly. My hair felt greasy, I hated what I was wearing, and I kept my coat on the whole time to cover myself up. I don’t know what it was really – I just felt ugly and like a big fat zit sticking out on someone’s nose. The other women in the group (and some of the guys) joked with me about the experiment, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I just wanted to be done. That night AJ and I talked for quite a while. “I just don’t like looking boring,” I told him. “It doesn’t reflect who I am.” On and on I went complaining about it all as he listened and encouraged me to keep searching deeper. Finally, I made the statement I’d been trying to avoid. “I just don’t like who I am,” I stated flatly. Yeah. That’s the truth, gals. Down deep in me is a disgust and disregard for who I am when I’m not “polished” and don’t look the way I want to look. Another big revelation: “I just want it all!” I know that God has blessed me with talents and gifts and a pretty decent brain and many other things. Why can’t I look perfect too? That would be the best. I mean, that’s what I’d really like, God… Um, yeah… Day 20 One of the most meaningful parts of the day was when I was interviewing my friend, Bill Dallas. We were talking about his new book “Lessons From San Quentin” (which I highly recommend, by the way), for a podcast to appear here later in March. More important than that, though, is that Bill is the guy who made it possible for me to take FINDINGbalance’s website to a new level by adding video (we have over 500 videos) two years ago. Also, incidentally (but not co-incidentally, since there are no accidents to God), that is how my organization first got connected with Remuda Ranch. Which led to this here partnership on True. So, he’s a pretty important guy in my world. And one of the ones I was most afraid of letting see the “real” me. Near the end of the interview, I decided to venture out there and ask what was really on my mind: “What did you think when you saw me without makeup?” I nervously asked. Man, he couldn’t have given a more encouraging positive response. You’ll get to hear it when the podcast is up but basically he started listing out the reasons he likes me as a person, and none of them had to do with how I looked. It was so touching, and another reminder that those who we are in relationship with – true relationship, that is – don’t need us to look a certain way. It’s “us” they’re after. And “us” is what God created, not some man-made fabrication, at least if we’re being real with the people in our life. Day 21 We go to church on Saturday nights, and since I had missed one week and taught the other two in the children’s classes, this was my first night to actually walk into church – the main building – sans makeup. My husband and I always sit on the front row, so there I was, no makeup, but actually not too stressed about it. After the service I bumped into someone who knew about the experiment and asked me how it was going. There was another friend there who didn’t know about it so I quickly explained what I was doing. “Oh, I didn’t even notice you didn’t have makeup on,” she said. Wow. Isn’t that weird? Later that night someone posted on my Facebook: I was sitting behind you guys tonight at church and though you both looked great. So...I don’t know if you are done with the “no makeup” month...or if you just have a healthy glow...naturally. Way to go Constance! So… there ya go… Day 22 It was my last of three marriage workshop sessions I’d been attending w/ AJ and at the end of it someone came up and asked about my work, and if I ever speak to high school students. I told her I did, and then quickly assured her, “And I normally wear makeup.” Just had to get that in there, you know, in case she couldn’t imagine why I would be a relevant speaker without my “face” on and my “look” all in place. Just can’t seem to shake that thing, even here three weeks into this thing. Which got me thinking – I do think there’s something good about being able to wear makeup and to look good, particularly for those of us who are public speakers. If we’re honest, many of us are more likely to listen to people who look the way we want to look, or who can present a professional image. The key, I think, is to be able to strip that away too. Just as easily. That’s the part I need to grow in. Day 23 Remember my friend Bill Dallas from Day 20? Well He came to share at our Fb Gathering on this night. This meant that he got to see not just a pic of me without makeup, but we also talked for quite a while afterward, so it was a “true” makeup free interaction. As we talked, I realized that there was something different about the way we communicated with each other. For one thing, Bill’s life has been radically changed as God has been leading him out there to publicly share his story of being thrown into San Quentin as a white collar criminal several years back. So there was an honesty and transparency to him that I hadn’t seen before, since our previous dealings had been centered only on business. But I realized that I also felt more transparent – not necessarily that I said (or didn’t say) anything I wouldn’t have before, but I just felt like everything not relevant to the conversation (including an effort to “impress” or “look good”) had been stripped away. I felt more “real” than I had in a long time. It was weird, and I’m still thinking about it. Favorite quote of this day: “Pain is a privilege,” which Bill shared with our group that night. Day 24 Nothing exciting or life-changing today. Felt ugly at the mall, but hey, who doesn’t? Hmm… Day 25 I had a meeting with a man who has been very affirming of me and my work with FINDINGbalance. I mentioned him back on day one or two, actually, because he was one of the first people to see me sans makeup, and was very affirming of that as well. In fact, as we talked yesterday, his first question was about why makeup is such a big deal to us women. He’s a little older, and genuinely confused about all the fuss. I tried to explain it the best I could. Basically, I told him that without it we girls feel naked in a way. Exposed. Later in the discussion we agreed that most of us live with a great fear of some kind – abandonment, rejection, not being good enough. In fact, at one point he asked me straight out, “Did someone do something bad to you when you were young? I just don’t understand why you’re so afraid of rejection…” Hmm… When we concluded the meeting, he hugged me and told me that I could call or email any time, and he will never think I’m a bother and he will never reject me. What if all of us could give such assurances to the people we love? What freedom could be found! Wow… Day 26 So here I am, two days until this thing is over. I’m working today on a variety of things – some fun, some boring. On the fun side, I’m trying to schedule an interview for tomorrow morning with Mandy, Jena, and Kelsey, who have participated in the no-makeup challenge this month. (Jena wimped out after 4 days, but hey, many of you guys haven’t even done 1, so I’m still pretty proud of her).  Kelsey and Mandy have actually done the whole month. I can’t wait to talk to all of them. We’ll record it and post it here at the site. Speaking of which, if any of you is a tech-head and wants to help on the admin/production side of podcasts, I’m sure Travis wouldn’t mind the assistance. Now that I found a new way to record these things I’m stacking them up! Will be fun to hear what you think of these great guests, including Mandisa, Bill Dallas, Jerusha Clark, and in March, Sara Groves. I’ll do another recap probably on Sunday. And I’ll probably have makeup on. Yay! Wonder how that will feel…??? 2009-02-26T17:14:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_19/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_19/#When:15:14:00Z Can I step away from the bravado for just a moment and tell you that I’m REALLY REALLY looking forward to putting my makeup on again? I’ve got 9 days to go and honestly, I’m ready to feel a little more put together. I’m ready to have mascara on again. To have my skin tone evened out. To see my eyes pop. I just like that sort of thing. It’s quite the paradox, actually, because while going without makeup has been very good for me on many levels - breaking down my pride, challenging false beliefs, saving me time in the morning and at night - it has also caused me to be more focused on myself in some ways… Can I step away from the bravado for just a moment and tell you that I’m REALLY REALLY looking forward to putting my makeup on again? I’ve got 9 days to go and honestly, I’m ready to feel a little more put together. I’m ready to have mascara on again. To have my skin tone evened out. To see my eyes pop. I just like that sort of thing. It’s quite the paradox, actually, because while going without makeup has been very good for me on many levels - breaking down my pride, challenging false beliefs, saving me time in the morning and at night - it has also caused me to be more focused on myself in some ways. For me, wearing makeup is a pretty natural part of my life. To go without it every day in every situation is so unnatural that it causes me to think about how I look more than I otherwise would. With that in mind, I’m thinking that I’ll actually be able to just “be” who I am better when I can get up each day and decide to wear it or not wear it based on what I feel like doing, rather than being forced into some routine in order to prove a point to myself. But I’m also kinda dreading March 1 because I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be some people out there who are going to be disappointed in me when I put it back on. As if I’m giving up somehow on embracing my “true” self. But what is true? The truth is, I’m a visual person, and I like to wear makeup. I think I may wear it differently, or wear a different kind (less chemicals), when I put it on again. But I do plan to put it on again. It feels ok to me. As my friend Jenni Schaefer says, it’s a form of “creative expression.” The main thing I’ve wanted to see through this experiment is if I could take a strong step toward laying down the “idol” of looking good - of representing our culture’s ideals of the “right” look. And here, at day 19, I can honestly say that has been stripped from me quite a bit. Not completely - you can’t undo 37 years of vanity, pride and insecurity in just 19 days of any kind of experiment. But I’ve removed the “mask” of makeup for the world - my world, anyway - to see the true me. And I’ve learned the true me is ok, just the way I am. So when I put it on again, I hope to move from daily focusing on my appearance, to just getting through each day again according to what it holds. In the meantime, the daily ritual of snapping a photo of myself and posting it for anyone and everyone to see continues to be a pain in the, um, backside. But it is oh, so cool to see how it’s catching on out there. And I love the conversation it sparks. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and submit not again to a yoke of slavery,” Gal. 5:1. Places I’ve gone the last few days: 1. Costco 2. Walmart 3. Fb Gathering (see pic below) 4. Work I’ll be going to Community Group again tonight. Also, by the way, will be interviewing Mandisa today for a podcast. Will let you konw when that’s up. I think she’ll totally get this whole challenge - I read her whole book Idol Eyes last night - she is a totally cool, wonderfully sincere, God loving woman of God. Wow. See you soon… 2009-02-19T15:14:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_14/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_14/#When:19:36:00Z And here we are… Valentine’s Day. Can’t say I’ve ever had one without makeup before. Not sure what it will be like but honestly the longer this experiment goes the less I worry about things I used to worry about, such as what everyone will be thinking of me when I walk into a restaurant fresh-faced tonight. It’s an odd sort of feeling really. Kind of other-worldly, like I’m in on a secret that no one else knows. I find myself viewing women in such a different way now. Based on all the feedback I’ve received personally and through electronic formats such as your comments here and other’s comments on Facebook, etc., I’ve discovered that an overwhelming majority of women simply believe they CAN’T go without makeup. Their reasons range from, “I don’t look as good as you do without it” (what-evah), to “My boss wouldn’t want me to” (um, discrimination?)… And here we are… Valentine’s Day. Can’t say I’ve ever had one without makeup before. Not sure what it will be like but honestly the longer this experiment goes the less I worry about things I used to worry about, such as what everyone will be thinking of me when I walk into a restaurant fresh-faced tonight. It’s an odd sort of feeling really. Kind of other-worldly, like I’m in on a secret that no one else knows. I find myself viewing women in such a different way now. Based on all the feedback I’ve received personally and through electronic formats such as your comments here and other’s comments on Facebook, etc., I’ve discovered that an overwhelming majority of women simply believe they CAN’T go without makeup. Their reasons range from, “I don’t look as good as you do without it” (what-evah), to “My boss wouldn’t want me to” (um, discrimination?). Yesterday I had a good long talk with Stacey M, a true-campaigner who is bringing me and Travis out to Visalia, CA next month to do a True event. As usual, the conversation turned to this experiment, and I wasn’t surprised to hear her say how she, too, had felt challenged by it all. How can we NOT be? As I shared with Stacey, one thing I’m recognizing in all of this is the great lengths that particularly Christian women go to to look their best. Think about it - we’re getting ready for church and we stress about what to wear. We want to have the perfect hair, makeup and clothes. We wish we could skip past the “cuter” ladies when we walk in. We compare our outfit/body/appearance with all the other women we see. And then we wonder why we feel kinda empty when we leave. Or maybe it’s just me… In any case, this no makeup thing is something that I believe every woman should try. Maybe not for a month (though that is certainly a very good length of time with which to learn something). But can you even go without it for a day? Can you attend one church service without it? One day at work? Can you leave it off at the gym (of ALL places, why the heck can’t we???)? If not, why not? What terrible thing will happen? Will people decide they don’t like you? Will they ignore you? Will they tease you? Will a potential boyfriend/husband ditch you? Will your husband complain? Will you lose your calling? Will you lose your friends? Will you miss an opportunity to do something God wants you to do? Or… will you give someone permission to relax when they see that you’re relaxing too? Reminds me of a wonderful essay in my ”Art of Being” book written by Christine Dente, who used to be in a popular CCM group Out of the Grey. Crazily enough, I don’t have a copy here at home, but the essence of what she said was that one night while getting ready for a party, there were two trains of thought running through her mind. The first one was focused on her looking the best she could, so she could impress others at the party; make an entrance. The other, completely opposite, train of thought was when she considered chilling out a little on trying to look so perfect, so that someone else would benefit from not feeling that air of intimidation we women can give off, even unwittingly, by our overt attention to appearance. I’m probably butchering this in my paraphrase (you can buy the book at FINDINGbalance or Amazon if you want to see the real thing), but that has always stuck with me. And today I’m experiencing it firsthand. Anyway… A few updates for the last few days since I posted. Where I went: 1. Work 2. Community Group 3. Program at Christian’s school (think gymnasium full of made-up moms) 4. Meeting with my friend Pam Gibbs at Jason’s Deli downtown Nashville (see last pic below) 5. Meeting with the team of Scales Wellness and Nutrition Today, we’ll go to church (we go on Saturdays) and then out for Valentines Day. And of all things, I have two or three big zits on my chin. Oh well. Favorite comment: Yesterday, when Pam told me I look younger without mascara. Well, now… if that doesn’t make a girl reconsider the lengths she goes to to load it on there… 2009-02-14T19:36:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_11/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_11/#When:21:45:00Z Hi guys - I just posted over at the FINDINGbalance site (”Less makeup; more me? Yikes...”). I’ve been doing most of my no-makeup challenge recaps here at True, but needed to catch my Fb peeps up on the whole thing. Check it out and see what God’s been showing me about how even this challenge to fight self-obsession can turn into an obsession of its own… Hi guys - I just posted over at the FINDINGbalance site (”Less makeup; more me? Yikes...”). I’ve been doing most of my no-makeup challenge recaps here at True, but needed to catch my Fb peeps up on the whole thing. Check it out and see what God’s been showing me about how even this challenge to fight self-obsession can turn into an obsession of its own… Quick recap, days 9, 10 and today (so far)… Places I went: 1. Christian’s school (including “moms and muffins” social event) 2. Post office 3. Monday night gathering at Fb 4. Work (today!) Favorite thing: Seeing Aubrey and Hillary show up on Monday night sans makeup. It’s catching on! 2009-02-11T21:45:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_8_recap/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_8_recap/#When:04:08:00Z A better day today. I decided to pull my hair back so I’m not as aware of how short it is. And it was super pretty here in Nashville today – the temperature got into the 70’s. Was fun to be out in the yard pulling weeds and digging in the dirt with my fingernails. Seriously. I finally posted the video of my interview with America the Beautiful’s Darryl Roberts. It’s in two parts… Part 1 is where he pretty much doesn’t let me off the hook when it comes to my self-professed need for makeup. He also, by the way, commits to join us on the true:shift campaign! (I’ll have to follow up with him on that...) In Part 2 we’re joined by my friend Jenni Schaefer (Life Without Ed), and again, things get a little heated when it comes to the whole topic of makeup… A better day today. I decided to pull my hair back so I’m not as aware of how short it is. And it was super pretty here in Nashville today – the temperature got into the 70’s. Was fun to be out in the yard pulling weeds and digging in the dirt with my fingernails. Seriously. I finally posted the video of my interview with America the Beautiful’s Darryl Roberts. It’s in two parts… Part 1 is where he pretty much doesn’t let me off the hook when it comes to my self-professed need for makeup. He also, by the way, commits to join us on the true:shift campaign! (I’ll have to follow up with him on that...) In Part 2 we’re joined by my friend Jenni Schaefer (Life Without Ed), and again, things get a little heated when it comes to the whole topic of makeup. One of the things that struck me about this conversation was that Darryl is not a guy who is trying to address beauty from a biblical perspective. At least, that’s not what came out in the movie or when we talked together. He didn’t say to me, “Don’t you know that God views you as beautiful? If so, then you don’t have to worry about trying to look good.” Rather, he bluntly communicated “Women have believed a lie of our culture, and it’s time they stood up against it.” When you combine that reality with the additional truth that indeed, we are all beautiful in God’s eyes, there is incredible strength to be found when it comes to embracing who we are. Still not a cakewalk (at least it hasn’t been for me - I’m still trying to find the beauty of my clean-washed face). But there’s strength there… Places I went today: 1. Costco 2. Walmart 3. Marriage workshop group (something I forgot about at the beginning of this challenge…) Negative responses: 0 Positive responses: They keep coming Favorite comment, from Travis, who noted he has some hair issues too. Make that, a “lack of hair” issue… 2009-02-09T04:08:00-06:00