http://truecampaign.org/index.php en info@truecampaign.org Copyright 2009 2009-10-25T21:25:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/your_writing_desk/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/your_writing_desk/#When:21:25:00Z Writing today for the True Campaign is our friend Lee Blum, an Eating Disorder Health Educator for Park Nicollet Eating Disorders Institute.. I have coveted a writing desk for many years. Seeing them in catalogs or at antique shops I have often gushed, “oh I really want one of those!” You know the little desks with the fold down part just the right size for a laptop? I found the perfect one at a garage sale and $40 dollars later I finally purchased my own beautiful antique writing desk. Just the right size for a corner in my office and with that cute little pull down part, my mind was zipping with excitement. The only problem was the desk wasn’t quite ready for use. Well it wasn’t ready for my use.  So, it went into my garage and I began sanding away the old brown varnish. During the hours of refinishing I envisioned myself sitting upright at the desk typing quickly as the words for the final chapters of my book fell simply on the page. Day after day I returned to this image while the brown sawdust filled the garage. I told myself I would start writing again once the desk was finished. Finally two months later the desk was sanded, repainted, and adorned with beautiful new silver knobs. I carefully placed it in my office and stood back to praise my work. Writing today for the True Campaign is our friend Lee Blum, an Eating Disorder Health Educator for Park Nicollet’s Melrose Institute for Eating Disorders. I have coveted a writing desk for many years. Seeing them in catalogs or at antique shops I have often gushed, “oh I really want one of those!” You know the little desks with the fold down part just the right size for a laptop? I found the perfect one at a garage sale and $40 dollars later I finally purchased my own beautiful antique writing desk. Just the right size for a corner in my office and with that cute little pull down part, my mind was zipping with excitement. The only problem was the desk wasn’t quite ready for use. Well it wasn’t ready for my use. So, it went into my garage and I began sanding away the old brown varnish. During the hours of refinishing I envisioned myself sitting upright at the desk typing quickly as the words for the final chapters of my book fell simply on the page. Day after day I returned to this image while the brown sawdust filled the garage. I told myself I would start writing again once the desk was finished. Finally two months later the desk was sanded, repainted, and adorned with beautiful new silver knobs. I carefully placed it in my office and stood back to praise my work. “Ahhh. Now I am ready,” I said to myself, finally eager to get writing again. I walked towards the desk to gently release the little table and felt something stick. Tilting my head to look, I realized the paint had stuck in the cracks and upon opening the table ripped a strip off. “No! I squeeled! More sanding. More primer. More paint!” And, of course…no writing. It has to be just right! My point? You have a writing desk. I know you do. We all do. You know those things that really get in the way of accomplishing our goals and dreams? I work at an Eating Disorders facility and recently was having a discussion with a group of patients. The question I gave them was, “What are you waiting for to finally stop the behaviors that are keeping you stuck?” Example, if my goal is to write then why am I not writing? Or if my goal is to have better body image then why do I read all the magazines about dieting and/or with unrealistic images? Seems simple doesn’t it? But those writing desks get in the way. The answers from these patients were; “I am waiting to feel it. Waiting to feel like I want to recover.” “I am waiting until I feel better about my body.” “I am waiting until I don’t want or desire it anymore.” “I am waiting for God to heal me.” If those are your answers, you might be always waiting. You will finish the writing desk and then decide to paint the walls or get new carpet. I think we (myself included) get comfortable in our discomfort sometimes. So much so that the other, (recovery, sobriety, body acceptance, or even just letting our voice be heard) begin to look too frightening! So what if the ahah moment never comes? What if the paint is never right enough? What if the number on the scale is never right? Or What if God IS healing you and providing you with everything you need to make that step, but you are too afraid to do it! I love the title of one of John Ortberg’s books. You Can’t Walk on Water Until You Get Out of the Boat! I can’t write a book unless I start writing. I can find a million other things to do, but it won’t happen unless I write! I want to encourage you to take that step. Stop painting your writing desk or waiting for your ahah moment. Peter had to step out of that boat. And remember what happened? He had courage and then he became afraid. Peter shifted his attention away from Jesus and began to sink.  (Matthew 14) “Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he was the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me! Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” “You of little faith,” Jesus said, “why did you doubt?” In the book Fearless (which I HIGHLY recommend) by Max Lucado he talks about how Peter took his eyes of Jesus! I would continue that courage doesn’t come without fear! Fear helps birth courage. When you are afraid, don’t run from it! Get excited because it is an opportunity for courage to overcome fear! But make sure you are looking at the prize! What are your goals? What are your desires? Then look at how you are using your time to get to those goals. First. Fix your eyes on Him.  Second. Step out of that boat! The message has this great interpretation of a part of Hebrew 12: Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished the race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed. This morning I awoke early to write. I groggily stumbled my way into my office with my hot coffee in hand. I grabbed my laptop, told the little negative people in my head to be quiet, and began to write. Cozily sitting in my big comfy chair I found myself immersed in my writing. Out of the corner of my eye sat a beautifully new painted writing desk, and I laughed at the irony of it all. All that time wasted if I would have just sat down to do what needed to be done and trusted Jesus to help me do it! I encourage you to take that step. If you are struggling with something destructive in your life, take courage and get help. If you are longing to do something that makes an impact, step out and do it! If you are wanting to reach some goal but too afraid to take the first step, Fix your eyes on Him. And Get out of that boat! (or stop sanding the writing desks ☺ ) Blessings! Lee Blum ** “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who doesn not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read more of Lee’s own blog. 2009-10-25T21:25:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/edith_is_beautiful/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/edith_is_beautiful/#When:23:36:00Z We’ve invited Megan Petock who began the Unbranded Beauty Project and is currently working with Mercy Ships in West Africa to write for the True Campaign. Read on for a moving story of beauty and redemption. “Am I beautiful?” 13-year-old Edith wondered, as she slowly lifted a hand-held mirror to eye level.  The bulky tumor which had overtaken her face was gone – removed by a doctor at a local hospital.  For days, the surgical site had lain hidden under a covering of gauze and tape.  But now, the bandages were off.  The hospital staff had told her she would be beautiful after the operation.  She was anxious to see how she looked.  We’ve invited Megan Petock who began the Unbranded Beauty Project and is currently working with Mercy Ships in West Africa to write for the True Campaign. Read on for a moving story of beauty and redemption. “Am I beautiful?” 13-year-old Edith wondered, as she slowly lifted a hand-held mirror to eye level.  The bulky tumor which had overtaken her face was gone – removed by a doctor at a local hospital.  For days, the surgical site had lain hidden under a covering of gauze and tape.  But now, the bandages were off.  The hospital staff had told her she would be beautiful after the operation.  She was anxious to see how she looked. When Edith finally lifted the mirror high enough to see herself, she began to cry.  Her right eye and nostril were glued shut with distorted skin.  Her face was mangled and scarred.  The answer was “No, she wasn’t beautiful.” Edith’s facial tumor had begun growing during her pre-adolescent years.  By the time she reached 13, it was the size of a fist.  It began to shift her eyes, nose, and mouth across her face, making it increasingly difficult to eat and breathe.  Her life was in danger.  A missionary couple, Tony and Erica Omoijuanfo, met Edith while passing through her village in Benin.  Realizing her life was in danger, they brought her to a local hospital.  A surgeon, with neither plastic nor maxilla-facial experience, agreed to take her case.  Although not ideal, it was Edith’s only hope.  If the tumor wasn’t removed, she was going to die.  The tumor was successfully removed, saving Edith’s life.  But back in her village, all anyone noticed was Edith’s mangled face.  People thought she didn’t look like a human being. “No one would come near me,” said Edith.  “Everybody used to run away from me.  If I drank in a cup, no one would drink from that cup.  If I touched something, no one would touch it.  I did not have any friends,” she said. Edith’s sweet spirit and caring heart hadn’t been altered by the tumor or surgery, but her village couldn’t see that.  They were blinded by the visible.  For months, Edith spent her days alone, in a dark room.  Her father, Daniel Tahou, was the only person who would sit with her. “She couldn’t play with friends; they used to run away from her because of her face,” said Daniel.  As a father he hated watching his daughter suffer the rejection of others. This pain was deepened because he knew her as a whole person, not just someone with a deformed face.  Tony and Erica hadn’t forgotten about Edith.  Everyday they prayed for her.  One morning, Erica received an email from a supporter in America.  They told her the Africa Mercy was coming to Benin.  So Tony and Erica brought Edith to a Mercy Ships screening day.  After being evaluated by a surgeon, she was scheduled for a free surgery.  The surgeon couldn’t promise to make Edith’s face “perfect.” However, he could reconstruct her cheek to dramatically improve her appearance, giving her back the use of her right eye and nostril.  Edith received her free surgery on the Africa Mercy.  Upon leaving the ship, she was very pleased at how looked.  Returning to her village, she was accepted and welcomed.  “Before the surgery, people used to say Edith could not do anything,” says her father.  “But since she came back from the ship, she looks like a human being.  Now she can go to the market, take care of her little brother, and all her friends are here in the house.  I want to thank Mercy Ships because they changed Edith’s life,” he concluded. Some scars may remain on her face, but Edith has healed.  “When I got back to school, all my friends were happy to see me,” said Edith.  “We play together, and I am not ashamed.  I do not hide anymore myself in the room like before,” she concluded. Against the metric of perfection, Edith still might be called ugly, but everyone who meets Edith knows she is beautiful. The hope in her eyes and joy in her smile outshine her scars. Meg Petock Find out more about the Unbranded Beauty Project. To impact more children like Edith check out the true:shift project. 2009-08-21T23:36:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/otherwise_occupied/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/otherwise_occupied/#When:16:45:00Z Over three days I had big plans to inspire women with the truth that, despite the culture’s crazy fixation on appearances, God loves us exactly as we are.  I’d just arrived at the mountains, to lead a weekend women’s retreat, and was preparing for the first evening together in my room.  I probably should have been more prayerful during that pre-gathering window of time, but I had accessories to deal with.  I was wearing my favorite lime green glasses and cutie green earrings I’d bought on the drive to the retreat.  I tossed on a funky necklace I’d made from yummy green beads that had a white spiral swirl in the middle of each one, then slid my feet into shoes I’d recently gotten for my birthday.  Eco-friendly, they were lime green slides and…wait for it…they had a single white swirl—like the necklace—on the side of each one.  Fantastic, right?  I know, I know.  Wearing blue jeans and a green striped shirt, I convinced myself that I was just like every other woman who’d casually thrown on jeans and a “T” to chillax in the mountains. Over three days I had big plans to inspire women with the truth that, despite the culture’s crazy fixation on appearances, God loves us exactly as we are.  I’d just arrived at the mountains, to lead a weekend women’s retreat, and was preparing for the first evening together in my room.  I probably should have been more prayerful during that pre-gathering window of time, but I had accessories to deal with.  I was wearing my favorite lime green glasses and cutie green earrings I’d bought on the drive to the retreat.  I tossed on a funky necklace I’d made from yummy green beads that had a white spiral swirl in the middle of each one, then slid my feet into shoes I’d recently gotten for my birthday.  Eco-friendly, they were lime green slides and…wait for it…they had a single white swirl—like the necklace—on the side of each one.  Fantastic, right?  I know, I know.  Wearing blue jeans and a green striped shirt, I convinced myself that I was just like every other woman who’d casually thrown on jeans and a “T” to chillax in the mountains. I wandered down to the auditorium where the planning team was getting ready. “Those are awesome glasses,” one woman marveled.  “They go great with your necklace.” “Thanks,” I smiled.  “I like them, too.” I slipped out to use the restroom where I bumped into another woman on the retreat.  “Oh my gosh!  Those shoes are fabulous!  Where did you get them?!” she raved. “Well,” I began humbly, “my mother-in-law wanted to get me shoes for my birthday and I just kind of found them…” I tried to use a calm voice which gave no indication of how screamy thrilled I was when I actually did come across those great shoes. “I love your necklace!” said another passing stranger.  That’s when it hit me.  I looked way too fabulous.  I really did.  In that horribly complimentary moment, I experienced the stab of painful anguish which Peter must have endured after denying Jesus three times.  Having sworn he’d never do it, Peter had never even seen it coming.  Neither had I.  When the cock crowed about how fantastic my green necklace was though, like Peter, I saw my sin flash before my eyes. What Went Wrong It is hard to even know where to begin thinking about what went wrong that night.  Without even realizing it—like a really cute green frog in a slowly-boiling pot of water—I’d been gradually squeezed by the culture’s pressure to look casually fantastic.  A study out of Duke University coined a term for this very thing—the appearance of looking way too fabulous, and yet as if one hadn’t tried very hard at all—calling it “effortless perfection.” It’s a lie, of course, both the “effortless” and the “perfection,” but I’d played right into it.  “Whoa, Margot!  Hold up little lady!” you might be thinking.  “I love lime green, and so does Jesus!  I don’t see the problem with looking and feeling good.” Agreed.  What was inherently wrong with my evening, though, is that, for most of it, my eyes had been turned upon myself.  I was moving through the world in a way that was entirely self-referenced.  That’s what went most wrong.  What’s most sinister about our culture’s fixation with beauty, and with my personal one, is that it keeps our eyes turned upon ourselves.  And because everybody from McDonald’s to WalMart encourages us to be all about ourselves, too often we’re like that oblivious frog who doesn’t even realize that her environment is draining the life right out of her. We were made for so much more. Made for More Because we were made to love God and others, Jesus is all about setting us free from a death-dealing preoccupation with self so that we can be for others.  Whether those “others” are friends from church, a neighbor who’s in the hospital, or those around the globe who are hungry, these bodies were created for the purpose of being in relationship with others.  And here’s the real beauty of the plan: you don’t have to wait until you get your naturally-self-referenced act together.  Great news, huh?  When you take a little baby step to be for others—by calling a friend, or sending a note to someone who’s grieving, or participating in True Campaign’s true:shift—you’re freed up from the kind of self-preoccupation that’s death-dealing. Hear me: being freed from self doesn’t mean you’re a doormat.  Rather, it means that because Jesus lives in you, you now function as an agent in his building of the new kingdom he ushered in.  Thankfully, it also doesn’t mean that you can never look extra fruity in lime green again.  (Phew!) It’s not about looking bad.  Instead, it’s about lifting our eyes from our own navels (or noses, or hips, or thighs) and turning our gaze toward others.  A self-check I like to use is simply to notice where I’m investing my time, my money, and my energy.  (See unfortunate green situation, above, for illustration of what not to do.) When I’m pouring time, money, and energy into my appearance, I realize I’m off track.  And with the baby steps—cooking for an overwhelmed friend, treating a younger woman to coffee, or sewing a cool headband for a niece—it’s just not that hard to get back on track. Sisters, the opposite of being self-occupied isn’t being unoccupied.  Yuck, boring.  When Jesus casted out demons, he warned that unless that empty space was filled with something else, those demons would come back and bring their friends.  As you’re delivered from a preoccupation with self, you don’t remain “vacant.” Instead, you’re freed up to be otherwise occupied, loving God and others. We want to hear your stories.  Let us know about the life-giving ways that you, or others, are redirecting time, money, and energy in order to be for others. Margot Find out more about Margot and her new book The Girl in the Orage Dress: Searching for a Father Who Does Not Fail. © Copyright Margot Starbuck 2009 2009-08-04T16:45:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/the_true_tune_story/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/the_true_tune_story/#When:18:38:00Z 2009-07-27T18:38:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/gospel_self_esteem/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/gospel_self_esteem/#When:03:08:00Z The Mission statement of the True Campaign reads: The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended. From the beginning we’ve wanted to address the topic of self-image (and self-esteem) because it is so closely tied to body image and eating issues. Additionally, the idea that a woman’s acceptance of herself contributes to her freedom in this area is a common assumption held by many in our culture. Studies seem to support this idea. For example, the creative people at the Dove Self-Esteem Fund commissioned a study which found that 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling badly about themselves (compared to 25% of girls with high self-esteem). In response, efforts to prevent and treat disordered eating, obesity and body hatred have been aimed at increasing self-esteem and helping girls believe that they are truly beautiful. But is it working?  The Mission statement of the True Campaign reads: The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended. From the beginning we’ve wanted to address the topic of self-image (and self-esteem) because it is so closely tied to body image and eating issues. Additionally, the idea that a woman’s acceptance of herself contributes to her freedom in this area is a common assumption held by many in our culture. Studies seem to support this idea. For example, the creative people at the Dove Self-Esteem Fund commissioned a study which found that 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling badly about themselves (compared to 25% of girls with high self-esteem). In response, efforts to prevent and treat disordered eating, obesity and body hatred have been aimed at increasing self-esteem and helping girls believe that they are truly beautiful. But is it working? I’m not the only one asking these questions. Many are asking hard questions about the assumptions pop-culture makes about higher self-esteem being a cure-all. Recent studies seem to be showing that the pursuit of higher self-esteem may not be all it is cracked up to be. The book Generation Me reports that despite self-esteem scores dramatically increasing since the 1960’s and 70s other mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression and suicide have been rising as well. Additionally, during this same time frame the incidence of eating disorders has doubled. In other words, self-esteem has increased as a result of these efforts but mental health has not. So is anyone else coming up with an alternative? Well, yes. Researchers at the University of Michigan have made some interesting discoveries. In a yet-to-be published study Teresa Granillo, working with Dr. Jennifer Crocker, found that when college girls who struggled with eating disorder behaviors became involved in compassionate, other-centered activities their symptoms decreased.  When they thought less about improving their self-esteem through weight-loss or appearance, they experienced more freedom from eating disorder behaviors. Please hear me clearly. I’m not suggesting a degrading of oneself or promoting passivity. In fact, what I like to call Gospel Self-esteem is far more powerful than simply trying to convince yourself that you are valuable through positive self-talk and affirmations. Based on an understanding that we have incredible value as creations of God and that He is committed to our good without ignoring our failure, Gospel self-esteem means trusting that what God says about me is true. That is the basis for incredible boldness and liberating humility. It results in what popular author and pastor Tim Keller calls “Blessed Self-Forgetfulness” – a healthy self-image where you are not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself in false humility, but thinking of yourself less.” Some who struggle with these issues clearly need to learn to set boundaries, say “no” to unreasonable requests of others and learn self-care but, the ultimate path to freedom is not found in more self-focus, rather it comes as we get caught up in something (or Someone) bigger than us. That’s why we believe so strongly in the true:shift project, our partnership with Food for the Hungry. By sponsoring a child who lacks basic needs like healthy meals and simple education you will begin to experience gratitude, purpose and a sense of contributing to the greater good. Don’t take my word for it. Try it out yourself. Find something or someone to give to this week. Listen to someone, serve someone, contribute to a cause. And later, when your thoughts return to yourself you might just discover what you haven’t worried about for a while...yourself. 2009-06-19T03:08:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cinderella_and_the_kingdom_of_god/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cinderella_and_the_kingdom_of_god/#When:15:14:00Z We’ve asked Margot Starbuck, a writer and speaker living in Durham, NC to contribute to the True Campaign blog. We hope you will be impacted by her thoughtful and poignant insights into culture and beauty. Welcome to the True Campaign Margot! When it comes to mass-emailed stories, jokes, photos and video links I have a relatively firm “don’t read and quickly delete” policy. Really, people, I’ve got better things to do with my life. Usually. My friend MJ got me today, though, by starting her email, “You probably all know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen the news today.” I didn’t and I hadn’t.  I certainly didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t know and hadn’t seen.  So, against my better judgment, I clicked. We’ve asked Margot Starbuck, a writer and speaker living in Durham, NC to contribute to the True Campaign blog. We hope you will be impacted by her thoughtful and poignant insights into culture and beauty. Welcome to the True Campaign Margot! When it comes to mass-emailed stories, jokes, photos and video links I have a relatively firm “don’t read and quickly delete” policy. Really, people, I’ve got better things to do with my life. Usually. My friend MJ got me today, though, by starting her email, “You probably all know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen the news today.” I didn’t and I hadn’t.  I certainly didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t know and hadn’t seen.  So, against my better judgment, I clicked. It was a clip from one of those talent search shows called Britain’s Got Talent. That cynical Simon Cowell was one of the judges. The clip begins by introducing viewers to a contestant named Susan Boyle.  I’ll save you the click by simply informing you that everything about Susan Boyle was—by Hollywood’s standards—wrong. Producers set the first shot of Susan Boyle to a comic soundtrack which evoked images of a clumsy clomping elephant. The unflattering shot shows Ms. Boyle opening her mouth to shove in a sandwich. Sandwich aside, she certainly doesn’t look like anyone most of us are used to watching for long on our televisions. Sure, we’ll tolerate physical imperfection for the first few episodes of Biggest Loser, but typically we don’t have a lot of patience for much besides the kind of Hollywood glam we’ve been conditioned to expect. And deserve. Ms. Boyle’s curly graying hair seemed to be pulled back, or brushed down, in a shape that I am not certain was ever particularly stylish. Dark bushy eyebrows framed a pale face. She had the kind of hanging double chin that most of us try to disguise or cover when we’re being photographed. I do, anyway. She introduces herself to the camera, “My name is Susan Boyle. I’m nearly forty-eight, currently unemployed but still looking, and I’m going to sing for you on Britain’s Got Talent today.” She continues, “At the moment I live alone with my cat called Pebbles. I’ve never been married. I’ve never been kissed.” Then flashing a look of mock sadness, she playfully bemoans “Oh, shame!” At the end of the clip, squinting her eyes in determination, Susan Boyle promises with steely resolve, “I’m going to make that audience rock.” I assume she most likely said more stuff, but producers cropped it just to highlight the particularly uncomfortable and socially awkward parts. The subtext of the editing, of course, is to lure us all into agreeing that Susan Boyle isn’t worth very much, by the world’s standards.  Judging from the audience’s facial expressions, it worked.  While Ms. Boyle chats with Simon Cowell before her performance, nervously stumbling over her words, cameras pan to attractive disgusted audience members wincing, rolling their eyes, and turning toward each other to marvel at how…unconventional…this woman is. As the soundtrack from Les Mis begins, though, Susan Boyle has only to pipe out eight words before minds and faces are judgey opinions are changed. “I dreamed a dream in time gone by…” By the time she gets to that eighth word, she has been justified. Well-manicured judging eyebrows rise. Eyes widen. Audience members began clapping, whistling. Before long the crowd has risen to their feet, wild with adulation. I’m not particularly music-ee and even I knew that I was listening to, watching, a truly gifted woman. We love this stuff, don’t we? We eat it up. It’s even better than a Cinderella story, because this Cinderella is too old, too heavy, too grey, too unsophisticated. In a word, she’s “us.” Except with talent. And that’s the single piece of this great story that leaves me unsettled. We all feel warm and fuzzy inside whether we’re seated in the actual television audience or watching the clip on youtube. Some part of us feels like we’ve been sort of generous to applaud someone who doesn’t typically fit into the world’s mold of acceptability. So bravo for us for being so open minded.  In the end, though, Susan Boyle still had to earn the approval and praise of her audience. She had to prove that she was worthy of acceptance. Sure, it’s sort of the nature of a talent competition, but if we’re really honest it’s sort of the nature of…the world. In my fantasies I like to imagine a world where Susan Boyle swaggers out on stage and gets the standing ovation for no other reason than being someone who reflects the image of God. Friends, that dreamy world is called the Kingdom of God. Live into it. Margot Starbuck is the author of The Girl in the Orange Dress: Searching for a Father Who Does Not Fail (July 2009), and an upcoming book on women’s bodies, both with Intervarsity Press (summer of 2010).  Margot’s writing has appeared in Brio, Today’s Christian Woman, Adoptive Families, and other national magazines.  Learn more at www.margotstarbuck”. 2009-04-20T15:14:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/i_made_the_shift_will_you/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/i_made_the_shift_will_you/#When:17:10:00Z I’ve made the shift. Have you? My story of living with an eating disorder is probably a lot like other stories you have heard. A poor sense of identity, low self-esteem, and growing up in a world that idolizes thinness and external beautify, left me feeling dissatisfied with myself nearly all of the time. I would compare myself to the latest “it girl” in fashion magazines and vow to diet until I looked like her. Of course, nobody told me that fashion models are thinner than 98 percent of American women. I’ve made the shift. Have you? My story of living with an eating disorder is probably a lot like other stories you have heard. A poor sense of identity, low self-esteem, and growing up in a world that idolizes thinness and external beautify, left me feeling dissatisfied with myself nearly all of the time. I would compare myself to the latest “it girl” in fashion magazines and vow to diet until I looked like her. Of course, nobody told me that fashion models are thinner than 98 percent of American women. I dieted incessantly, but dieting left me ravenous. Bingeing always followed days of strict dieting. I would eat a whole bag of chips, a box of chocolates, and a half of can of whipped cream—all in one sitting. Then, I used laxatives to purge the food from my body. I realize now that I was trying to purge more than food from my body; I was trying to rid myself of the feelings of self-loathing and self-hatred that had plagued me from childhood. My cycles of bingeing and purging continued for nearly 20 years, until a night in the emergency room after downing a handful of laxatives left me scared. Scared enough to make a shift. That was 12 years ago. The road to healing was long and hard.  It began with a simple decision—to stop the denial and get the help I needed. A New Shift Recently I decided to take it a step further. I learned of True’s true:shift campaign. This is a GREAT idea, but there’s no way I can participate, I thought. After all, my finances were tight. Real tight. There was just no way I could come up with $32 extra every month! But that’s just it. I didn’t have to come up extra money. The True Campaign was asking me to take some of the money I spent on my outside appearance for things like cosmetics, fashion, and expensive haircuts—things that really don’t satisfy—and shift those resources toward efforts to satisfy the needs of the hungry. I spent some time in prayer then visited the true:shift 2009-03-25T17:10:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/come_see_us_in_visalia_this_week/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/come_see_us_in_visalia_this_week/#When:20:49:00Z Hey guys - kinda busy right now but wanted to let you know that Travis and I will be in CA this week doing a couple things for True, and would love to have you come out if you’re in the area. Specifically, we are doing a “True” event on Thursday night at First Christian Church in Visalia, CA. from 7:00 - 9:00. I’ll be sharing on the amazing journey God has had me on with both freedom from disordered eating and also what I’ve learned in this “Month without Makeup” experiment. Travis will be sharing some VERY engaging stuff re: a biblical view of the body… Hey guys - kinda busy right now but wanted to let you know that Travis and I will be in CA this week doing a couple things for True, and would love to have you come out if you’re in the area. Specifically, we are doing a “True” event on Thursday night at First Christian Church in Visalia, CA. from 7:00 - 9:00. I’ll be sharing on the amazing journey God has had me on with both freedom from disordered eating and also what I’ve learned in this “Month without Makeup” experiment. Travis will be sharing some VERY engaging stuff re: a biblical view of the body. Looking at how our culture both “overvalues” and “undervalues” the body, and how to find the balance. There will be music and video and a surprise ending that just might involve some water and a few unsuspecting attendees… It’s gonna be great, and it’s free, so come if you can. Hosted by Stacy Morris - a True Campaigner (just like some of you) who got excited enough about True to bring us to her town.  2009-03-14T20:49:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_28_and_beyond/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_day_28_and_beyond/#When:16:42:00Z First, if you haven’t checked it out yet, Travis just posted a new Month Without Makeup podcast I recorded last week with some other brave women (Mandy, Jena, Aubrey and Kelsey) who joined me on the challenge. It’s pretty cool, and (of course) includes more no-makeup pics of me AND some of them too. Speaking of which, I’m still looking for a brave soul to carry on the challenge. No one has stepped up to the plate yet. Hmm… anyone? Leave a comment here if you want to carry the torch. First, if you haven’t checked it out yet, Travis just posted a new Month Without Makeup podcast I recorded last week with some other brave women (Mandy, Jena, Aubrey and Kelsey) who joined me on the challenge. It’s pretty cool, and (of course) includes more no-makeup pics of me AND some of them too. Speaking of which, I’m still looking for a brave soul to carry on the challenge. No one has stepped up to the plate yet. Hmm… anyone? Leave a comment here if you want to carry the torch. Now to the recap… Day 28 On this final day, there are so many thoughts swirling through my mind. It’s kind of strange to be here at the end. Kind of like when you’re gearing up for some big event, such as the birth of a child, and then you’re there. Already. Long after you wished you were and yet somehow earlier than you expected. Some random thoughts going through my mind today… How wonderful it will be to not have to take a picture of myself everyday and post it on Facebook. It will be so nice to just laze around and not even get dressed if I don’t want to. Not worry about trying to make my hair look good. (Not that it’s looked that great, but you know, I had to give it a little effort). No holding up a sign, smiling for the camera 5 to 15 times trying to get a good enough shot – something I can live with – that in spite of the lack of makeup still says something positive about me. Yesterday I talked to an old friend from Sparrow, Grant Hubbard, who had noticed the pics on Facebook. “Well, you look happy in them,” he said, (conspicuously not commenting on whether he thought I looked ok or just plain ugly…). “Um, yeah, I’m smiling for the camera” I said. And that’s the truth. I’ve intentionally tried to smile in each of the shots. In the one or two I didn’t smile in, I noticed that I didn’t like how I looked as much. Even though when I’m staring at myself in the mirror I generally prefer a non-smiling face, a smile – even a makeup-free one – is so much more attractive than a serious pose. I’m taking that with me. Also, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been planning for weeks what I’ll do on my first day after the experiment. I’m going to the Origins counter at Cool Springs Mall for a makeover. I’ve never worn Origins before. I’m a MAC girl. I LOVE my MAC – have all the perfect colors and would love to wear it again, but honestly, after this month my skin is clearer than it’s ever been and I just can’t bear the thought of slathering chemically produced ingredients all over it. Origins is supposed to be natural. My friend Mirandi looked into it for me (now there’s a true friend… she even talked to a specialist for me!), and assures me it’s free of parabens and other bad stuff that’s apparently made it’s way into most of the makeup we put on our skin. Stuff that gets absorbed into our skin, by the way, and messes with our bodies in ways that I’m sure Revlon and L’Oreal would prefer no one explore. This was one of the things that jumped out at me in the America the Beautiful film. It pointed out that our cosmetics in the US are not regulated like they are in other countries, and that there are hundreds of harmful toxins in them. All in the name of “longer lasting” color, “lash extending” mascara, etc. So… I’m going to do that tomorrow. Probably after I do the grocery shopping though, which means I’ll be going out yet again w/o makeup. But hey, by now, it’s no big deal. I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to feel like when I put it on again. As some of you may have noticed, while I may look “fine” without makeup, I definitely do look a bit different with it on. My eyelashes are so light that you don’t see them when I’m not wearing mascara. This one element alone will mean I’ll look a bit different when I put it on tomorrow. I’m trying to go into this with an open mind. To see what I really want to wear. To experiment with how much I need, but to not be afraid to get the coverage I like (an evened out skin tone, etc.). I’m also a little nervous about how people who have been following the experiment will respond. I’m anticipating some may be disappointed in me. They may think I’m giving away something by once again wearing makeup. But as my husband, AJ, reminds me, NOT wearing makeup to please people is really no different in essence than WEARING it to please them. So ultimately, I’ve got to do what seems right for me. Though I’ll be honest and say I don’t like rejection any more than the next girl. I guess that’s it for now. I haven’t left the house yet today. Gonna do money and taxes (yuck) and then I’ve got church tonight and a date with one of my boys after that. A normal day in suburbia… March 1 It’s over! I can’t believe it! Part of me wanted to put makeup on first thing today, but I was holding out for my trip to Origins. I was hoping they’d give me some tradeout if I mentioned them in this here blog. Well, they didn’t. But I’m still mentioning them. Anyway, I went to their store in Green Hills where “Kat” gave me a makeover. I told her all about the challenge and she thought it was cool. Said her boyfriend had just commented to her recently, “What would happen if women no longer needed to wear makeup?” Hmm… Anyway, she looked at all my MAC stuff and paired it up with supposedly comparable Origins stuff. I say “supposedly” because every brand is different and since theirs is more organic (a good thing) it just doesn’t seem to have the same coverage as my MAC (not so good). But my photographer friend Melanie, who came with me on the trip, kept reminding me that I had told her I wanted to try and go more natural. I don’t know why I ever said that. In the end, I’m not sure I looked any better with it than without. But I DID feel a lot more “normal” as we left there and hung out at Panera for a little bit. And of course I couldn’t help but notice the HUGE gobs of makeup some of the others in the restaurant were wearing. I guess hyper-colored eye shadow and blush is all the rage right now. Yikes. March 2 I loved putting on my makeup and doing my hair for the first time in a while. (For some reason, I liked my no-makeup face better w/ no hair around it). So I took a few pics of myself to update my Facebook page now that the challenge is over. Thought it would be fun to have my good friend, Yamaha, in the pic with me. I love music - it’s something that God has used to really minister in my life. I just wish I had more time to play it. After I posted this pic, I got an email from my friend Amber, who said, “I did find it interesting, the care you took in posing with the right background and clothes on the day you got to wear makeup again. Just curious, when you went without make-up, did you do anything else to help build your self esteem or do anything to help you feel more comfortable about your looks? Like did you style your hair or wear the same nice clothes as if you had makeup on? or did everything kind of go to pot?” Hmm… no, everything didn’t go to pot, but yes, I did take care in taking this picture. Why? I guess I wanted to look nice. Again, why? Hmm (again)… March 5 Well, I had anticipated there would be a “let down” when this whole thing was over, and I was right. It’s kind of a bummer to not have a gazillion comments on my Facebook every day, telling me how beautiful I am. Maybe if I shave my head next, I can get them flowing again. Um, maybe not. Seriously, I’m learning now that this is over that there is still so much more for me to learn when it comes to looking to man’s (or woman’s) approval for my sense of personal affirmation. Ain’t ever gonna happen there, I’m thinking, and when it does, it usually doesn’t bear much fruit anyway. Wow. Just so much to learn all the time. So I’ve decided to write a book on the subject: A Month without Makeup: What 28 Days of Feeling Ugly Taught Me about True Beauty. Whaddya think? I’m thinking it will be a quick read, capturing some of the great stuff I’ve learned (and continue to learn) from this thing. In fact, I’ll speak on this theme later this month when I’m in Visalia w/ one of our true campaigners, Stacy Morris. And also at Remuda’s Hungry for Hope conference this summer at Glen Eyrie in CO. Man, is that gonna be cool. (You can come to this, if you want. Check it out!) Today (March 6) Just sitting here, watching the clock tick as I try to wrap this thing up. On the makeup front (in case you’re interested), I’m still not sure if I like the Origins makeup, honestly. It’s weird, but I think my skin actually looked younger somehow without it on. It’s a bummer, because I definitely have spots I’d like to cover up, but a) this stuff doesn’t seem to cover as well as MAC (don’t worry, I’m NOT going back to that stuff. Not yet at least…) and b) it just looks heavy on my skin. Several friends are telling me I need to check into Bare Essentials. And I may, but honestly, even thinking about spending yet more money on makeup is tugging at me a little, especially in light of our true:shift effort. Speaking of which, we now have 14 of you signed up so far, with 9 of those being children from our adopted village of El Gade, Kenya! (The others signed up for children from other countries prior to our adoption of this community.) This means we only need 41 more to complete the sponsorship needs for that village. Will you think about doing that today? You can visit our page at Food for the Hungry’s site and see faces of the children who still need sponsorships. You know, at first it can seem like a big deal to give money to something like this, but honestly, once you do it, it’s not that hard at all. You probably won’t even notice the difference in your budget, but you’ll be making such an incredible difference in someone’s life halfway around the world. It’s a great tradeoff, if you ask me. And yes, we are going there next year, so start thinking and praying about whether God would lead you to join us. If you’re terrified of such a thing (which, believe me, I totally understand), look for a podcast in early April with the fabulous Sara Groves who is actually going on a trip with Food for the Hungry this month and will be able to tell us all about her experiences. I think we’ll all be inspired. And what a good thing it will be to know I can go without makeup with those of you who come with us… 2009-03-06T16:42:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_days_19_26/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/a_month_without_makeup_days_19_26/#When:17:14:00Z What an incredible, crazy, up-and-down week it’s been since my last posting. You know, God is teaching me so much every day during this experiment that I’m kind of mad at myself for not journaling it at the end of each day. So I’m going to try and summarize here, going day-by-day to jog my memory for the good stuff. It’s long, but split into small chunks. And I decided to do it in chronological order - my brain just works better that way (rather than going backwards from today)… What an incredible, crazy, up-and-down week it’s been since my last posting. You know, God is teaching me so much every day during this experiment that I’m kind of mad at myself for not journaling it at the end of each day. So I’m going to try and summarize here, going day-by-day to jog my memory for the good stuff. It’s long, but split into small chunks. And I decided to do it in chronological order - my brain just works better that way (rather than going backwards from today)… Day 19 I blogged earlier in the day on day 19, but it was that evening that some big stuff happened. Not “big” as in “exciting” – but big in the sense of what God is teaching me. On the evening of Day 19 (last Thursday) we again had community group. (I posted a pic of this group on Day 5). Guys – I felt TOTALLY ugly that night. It was my third time going to a CG meeting without makeup so you’d think I would have felt totally cool about it, but I didn’t. I just felt ugly. My hair felt greasy, I hated what I was wearing, and I kept my coat on the whole time to cover myself up. I don’t know what it was really – I just felt ugly and like a big fat zit sticking out on someone’s nose. The other women in the group (and some of the guys) joked with me about the experiment, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I just wanted to be done. That night AJ and I talked for quite a while. “I just don’t like looking boring,” I told him. “It doesn’t reflect who I am.” On and on I went complaining about it all as he listened and encouraged me to keep searching deeper. Finally, I made the statement I’d been trying to avoid. “I just don’t like who I am,” I stated flatly. Yeah. That’s the truth, gals. Down deep in me is a disgust and disregard for who I am when I’m not “polished” and don’t look the way I want to look. Another big revelation: “I just want it all!” I know that God has blessed me with talents and gifts and a pretty decent brain and many other things. Why can’t I look perfect too? That would be the best. I mean, that’s what I’d really like, God… Um, yeah… Day 20 One of the most meaningful parts of the day was when I was interviewing my friend, Bill Dallas. We were talking about his new book “Lessons From San Quentin” (which I highly recommend, by the way), for a podcast to appear here later in March. More important than that, though, is that Bill is the guy who made it possible for me to take FINDINGbalance’s website to a new level by adding video (we have over 500 videos) two years ago. Also, incidentally (but not co-incidentally, since there are no accidents to God), that is how my organization first got connected with Remuda Ranch. Which led to this here partnership on True. So, he’s a pretty important guy in my world. And one of the ones I was most afraid of letting see the “real” me. Near the end of the interview, I decided to venture out there and ask what was really on my mind: “What did you think when you saw me without makeup?” I nervously asked. Man, he couldn’t have given a more encouraging positive response. You’ll get to hear it when the podcast is up but basically he started listing out the reasons he likes me as a person, and none of them had to do with how I looked. It was so touching, and another reminder that those who we are in relationship with – true relationship, that is – don’t need us to look a certain way. It’s “us” they’re after. And “us” is what God created, not some man-made fabrication, at least if we’re being real with the people in our life. Day 21 We go to church on Saturday nights, and since I had missed one week and taught the other two in the children’s classes, this was my first night to actually walk into church – the main building – sans makeup. My husband and I always sit on the front row, so there I was, no makeup, but actually not too stressed about it. After the service I bumped into someone who knew about the experiment and asked me how it was going. There was another friend there who didn’t know about it so I quickly explained what I was doing. “Oh, I didn’t even notice you didn’t have makeup on,” she said. Wow. Isn’t that weird? Later that night someone posted on my Facebook: I was sitting behind you guys tonight at church and though you both looked great. So...I don’t know if you are done with the “no makeup” month...or if you just have a healthy glow...naturally. Way to go Constance! So… there ya go… Day 22 It was my last of three marriage workshop sessions I’d been attending w/ AJ and at the end of it someone came up and asked about my work, and if I ever speak to high school students. I told her I did, and then quickly assured her, “And I normally wear makeup.” Just had to get that in there, you know, in case she couldn’t imagine why I would be a relevant speaker without my “face” on and my “look” all in place. Just can’t seem to shake that thing, even here three weeks into this thing. Which got me thinking – I do think there’s something good about being able to wear makeup and to look good, particularly for those of us who are public speakers. If we’re honest, many of us are more likely to listen to people who look the way we want to look, or who can present a professional image. The key, I think, is to be able to strip that away too. Just as easily. That’s the part I need to grow in. Day 23 Remember my friend Bill Dallas from Day 20? Well He came to share at our Fb Gathering on this night. This meant that he got to see not just a pic of me without makeup, but we also talked for quite a while afterward, so it was a “true” makeup free interaction. As we talked, I realized that there was something different about the way we communicated with each other. For one thing, Bill’s life has been radically changed as God has been leading him out there to publicly share his story of being thrown into San Quentin as a white collar criminal several years back. So there was an honesty and transparency to him that I hadn’t seen before, since our previous dealings had been centered only on business. But I realized that I also felt more transparent – not necessarily that I said (or didn’t say) anything I wouldn’t have before, but I just felt like everything not relevant to the conversation (including an effort to “impress” or “look good”) had been stripped away. I felt more “real” than I had in a long time. It was weird, and I’m still thinking about it. Favorite quote of this day: “Pain is a privilege,” which Bill shared with our group that night. Day 24 Nothing exciting or life-changing today. Felt ugly at the mall, but hey, who doesn’t? Hmm… Day 25 I had a meeting with a man who has been very affirming of me and my work with FINDINGbalance. I mentioned him back on day one or two, actually, because he was one of the first people to see me sans makeup, and was very affirming of that as well. In fact, as we talked yesterday, his first question was about why makeup is such a big deal to us women. He’s a little older, and genuinely confused about all the fuss. I tried to explain it the best I could. Basically, I told him that without it we girls feel naked in a way. Exposed. Later in the discussion we agreed that most of us live with a great fear of some kind – abandonment, rejection, not being good enough. In fact, at one point he asked me straight out, “Did someone do something bad to you when you were young? I just don’t understand why you’re so afraid of rejection…” Hmm… When we concluded the meeting, he hugged me and told me that I could call or email any time, and he will never think I’m a bother and he will never reject me. What if all of us could give such assurances to the people we love? What freedom could be found! Wow… Day 26 So here I am, two days until this thing is over. I’m working today on a variety of things – some fun, some boring. On the fun side, I’m trying to schedule an interview for tomorrow morning with Mandy, Jena, and Kelsey, who have participated in the no-makeup challenge this month. (Jena wimped out after 4 days, but hey, many of you guys haven’t even done 1, so I’m still pretty proud of her).  Kelsey and Mandy have actually done the whole month. I can’t wait to talk to all of them. We’ll record it and post it here at the site. Speaking of which, if any of you is a tech-head and wants to help on the admin/production side of podcasts, I’m sure Travis wouldn’t mind the assistance. Now that I found a new way to record these things I’m stacking them up! Will be fun to hear what you think of these great guests, including Mandisa, Bill Dallas, Jerusha Clark, and in March, Sara Groves. I’ll do another recap probably on Sunday. And I’ll probably have makeup on. Yay! Wonder how that will feel…??? 2009-02-26T17:14:00-06:00