True Feminism

Human Trafficking in Canada

2011-06-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

Human trafficking in Canada is a bigger problem that most people think. According to the RCMP, 800 to 1200 people are trafficked in and through Canada every year. Christine Giancola, the Public Relations Director for Canada Fights Human Trafficking talks to True Feminism about Canada's hidden industry.

SD: What does Canada Fights Human Trafficking do?

CG: We are a non-profit. We exist to bring awareness to Canadians about human trafficking in Canada and to help victims and rehab.

SD: How big is human trafficking in Canada?

CG: A larger problem than most Canadians think. It looks different here than it does in other countries. There are no open brothels. It's controlled by traffickers or pimps who control, manipulate, and abuse women.

SD: How are young girls trafficked illegally into Canada?

CG: People from other nations come to Canada with a legal work permit but end up being forced into something different. The traffickers will prey on an insecurity or vulnerability that these girls might have. Most of the victims are between the ages of 14 to 16. A few are over 18. A boyfriend , an older good looking guy gives her gifts, convinces her to move away with him, and then eventually isolates her and then brings in prostitution quite subtly and eventually if she declines, he will have her gang raped and she is stuck in it and she believes she loves her and this is a difficult problem.

SD: There is a move to legalize prostitution in the province of Ontario. Will this fix the problem?

CG: Nobody would choose to prostitute their bodies if they had all the options. You cannot tell the difference between human trafficking and prostitution. Legalizing a body house in Ontario, would not allow the police to do their jobs. It’s difficult to tell the difference between someone who wants to do the job and those who do not. It has been proven with the Swedish model that by criminalizing the buyers, prostitution and human trafficking has gone down.

SD: How does Canada Fights Human Trafficking help these girls?

CG: We only take victims that go through the police force. If a police officer has a victim and we can help in any way we do. Faith houses throughout Canada are used for a couple of days, we have re-integration homes. They are safe places to start over and get an education. We offer counseling and try to use different resources. We have tattoo removal because these girls are branded with it to say that they belong to a particular buyer.

SD: What is the Canadian government doing about this?

CG: The government is not doing a whole lot. They say they are doing a lot but we do not see the results of it. It is a very complex problem. There is no single ministry that can take care this themselves. There are various ministries that should be involved such as public safety, immigration, and the rights of women.

A member of parliament Joy Smith just passed a law last June that includes a five- year mandatory minimum sentence for anyone who sells someone under 18 years of age. There should harsher penalties for traffickers and awareness in the justice system of the problem.

SD: What can the average Canadian do to help?

CG: Be aware of the problem. Get involved in organizations whether it’s fundraising, donating time, just letting member of parliament know through a quick email or letter that this a huge problem and that you do not want. There are a lot of ways to get involved big or small.

Being aware of the problem, and getting involved in organizations whether it’s fundraising, donating time, just letting member of parliament know through a quick email or letter that this a huge problem and that you do not want. There are a lot of ways to get involved big or small.

Body Language in Hollywood

2010-10-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

Joshua Kingdon is a Hollywood actor/director who leads a Theology of the Body study group in Hollywood. The Theology of the Body is a manual on human sexuality and relationships, rooted in Personalism and the writings of Pope John Paul 2. Theologian George Weigel, calls the Theology of the Body a “theological time-bomb set to go off with dramatic consequences ...perhaps in the twenty-first century.” True Feminism talks to Joshua about his role in this movement.

SD: How did you get involved with the Theology of the Body study group?

JK: I had never heard of the Theology of the Body, until I came to Los Angeles. A couple of friend’s of mine had decided to do start a study group. They would meet up and read a couple of chapters of the actual text of the Theology of the Body and would discuss it. I went for a few of those meetings and started to get familiar with it and then we were going to have a more formal study group at Family Theatre Productions and I brought up the idea that since we are in Hollywood, it might be a good idea to illustrate some of the points, made within Theology of the Body with movie clips. Last year we did 16 sessions. Another girl and me sort of put it together. We would introduce everything verbally, watch the video by Christopher West and try to line up two to four clips to illustrate certain points. We took a lot of time, trying to narrow down the major points, and created a short summary of a screenplay called a log line.

SD: The Theology of the body seems so body focused. How can this be reconciled with one’s spiritual self or how one thinks?

JK: God made us body and soul. This is the idea of sacrament, looking at our physical bodies, as tangible bodies that reveal this invisible truth. We connect the physical realities, the differences between male and female, in some way to reveal spiritual realities, invisible realities of how much God loves us and the relationship that he calls for us.

SD: This teaching is good for Heterosexuals, but where does it leave people with a Homosexual orientation? How can they live out the Theology of the body?

JK: Christopher West in his interpretation of the Theology of the Body says, “We as human beings are meant to be a gift, to another, specifically in the realm of marriage, that gift of sex is meant to reflect the relationship that Christ has with the church.” If you look at the crucifixion Christ gave of himself, of his body completely in a way that we would have life. The analogy with humans, is why the church preaches that there should only be conjugal relations between a husband and a wife, because the action says I will be with you forever, and am open to life, the giving of oneself. Being attracted to the same sex is not bad or sinful, but homosexual sexual activity, says something with your body that you’re not actually saying.

SD: What impact has the Theology had on your personal life?

JK: When I see a beautiful woman, instead of using terminology like she’s hot or she’s a babe. I have got into habit of using the term, that’s she eschatological, referring to the time, when our bodies, are re-united with our souls, after death and are restored to their amazing beauty, like Adam and Eve before the fall.

On a larger level, it’s given me greater confidence, in terms of apologetics, in terms of understanding the importance of marriage. You know that when you indulge in a lustful act that something isn’t quite right and for certain people, their consciences will speak to louder than others. The Theology of the Body, gives us a fuller understanding of why those activities are wrong, with respect to our relationship with God.

SD: What results has this study produced in Hollywood among those who attend it?

JK: People that attended were better able to articulate catholic teachings, on human sexuality. People that came go into and look at relationships, as more directed to the giving of oneself, and in finding ourselves in that way. A married couple enriches their relationship, to be more selfless . Someone who is dating, is given more confidence in their decision to not to sleep with someone before marriage. Some of us can understand this to a certain level, but when we take the time to study it, the better off we are as humans in our relationships with each other.

Personalist Feminism

2010-10-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

Personalism in a nutshell is a philosophy whose objective is to uncover what defines human persons and how people relate to another. This series of articles on personalism attempts to explore the challenges and the opportunities personalism presents.

Dr. Mary Lemmons is the Associate Professor of Philosophy at the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota. Dr. Lemmons is also the co-founder of the Sienna Symposium for Personalist Feminism. The other co-founder is Dr. Deborah Savage. True Feminism talks to Professor Lemmons about their project.

SD: What is Personalist feminism?

ML: Personalist feminism is the feminism dedicated to caring for human life from conception to the grave. It is based on the recognition that each and every human being is a person deserving to be loved and cherished according to the Personalistic Norm as expressed by Karol Wojtyla. It is a form of feminism and not humanism because such love requires not only the sensitivity to vulnerabilities so characteristic of women, but also the willingness to do something about it. This kind of activism born of love is a particularly feminine gift. It is maternal in its core. Such maternal caring is a gift that every woman can make—even if never married and a virgin. Maternal caring is the spiritual motherhood whereby a woman achieves her greatest fulfillment both in the home and outside of the home. We are called to bring this gift of maternal caring to all the places where insensitivity rules and human beings are denigrated. If we, women, can witness to men the power and beauty of love, they will rediscover that their own destiny as men lays in a spiritual fatherhood where they also bring good to life.

SD: What role does Metaphysics play in Personalist feminism?

ML: Metaphysics is the philosophy of being and the objectivity of being enables one to achieve truth and goodness. But truth and goodness are achievements of a heart bent on love. Since, then, personalist feminism focuses on loving the human being in all stages of life, personalist feminism is the orientation that enables one to see the truth about the human being and to know that each and every one of us is deserves to be loved—no matter how small or how sick. So from this perspective, personalist feminism plays a role in metaphysical insight and wisdom.

There is yet another connection between metaphysics and personalist feminism, namely, the love required by personalist feminism develops within the heart, a willingness to walk where fear thrives. Love walks one into the disabled person’s school room, into the dying person’s bedroom, into the boardrooms of the powerful and seeks to enhance the lives of the vulnerable. This requires a degree of humility that requires one to take life as it comes and to fight against those who would damn a human life as unworthy to live. Eventually, I believe, this humility opens the heart to the deepest truths of being where one finds the God of love and seeks to be God’s friend. Personalist feminism thus sees metaphysics embodied in the vulnerable who have no one to advocate for them. Finally, the maternal caring characteristic of Personalist feminism requires one to see that invaluable gift men make to the lives of the vulnerable and the need to support men for the good that they do in their own roles. Of course, this means that Personalist feminism sees heterosexuality as a gift both to men and to women because it enables them to see that the meaning of being is to transcend the self in a gift of self to others.

SD: How does Personalist feminism connect to difference feminism?

ML: Difference feminism can be defined in different ways. On the one hand, it could mean that men and women are different from each other in complementary ways--as also held by Personalist Feminism. On the other hand, it could mean that the differences between men and women are so great as to be mutually exclusive or antagonistic; and, this Personalist feminism rejects as being uncaring and a lie about the metaphysics of being human and being sexual.

SD: What writers have played a role in defining Personalist feminism

ML: The writer most influential in shaping Personalist feminism was the personalist Polish philosopher Karol Wojtyla who became Pope John Paul II. He called for a new feminism in his encyclical Evangelium Vitae. He also promoted sexual equality in the home and in the workplace, while urging workplace reform that would allow the woman to harmoniously combine her roles. See, for instance, The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World #23. Also see Michelle Schumacher’s anthology called Women in Christ: Toward a New Feminism; and Elizabeth Schlitz. 2007a. “Should Bearing the Child Mean Bearing All the Cost? A Catholic Perspective on the Sacrifices of Motherhood and the Common Good,” Logos: A Journal of Catholic Thought and Culture. Vol. 10, #3: 15-33; and also Elizabeth Schlitz. 2007b. “West, MacIntyre and Wojtyła: Pope John Paul II’s Contribution to the Development of a Dependency-Based Theory of Justice,” Journal of Catholic Legal Studies 45 (2007): 369-414.

Since the inspiration for Personalist Feminism is rooted in the personalism of Pope John Paul II, it is not dependent on Catholic theology but on human nature and the reality that one sex bears the children for the human race.

SD: Where can Personalist feminism be studied?

ML: Right now, I know of no place where Personalist Feminism can be extensively studied as such. That may change, since just within the last few weeks, I am starting with Dr. Deborah Savage a pilot program with the St. Paul School of Divinity at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. This pilot program is an interdisciplinary think tank trying to get a handle on all the issues that are involved in being faithful Catholics while advancing sexual equality and Personalist Feminism. We call ourselves the Siena Symposium for Women, Family and the Culture and are looking for funding so that we can develop systematically the insights that give us the confidence to know that women and men are not only equal but need each other to keep the culture alive.

Confessions of an Ex-Porn Addict

2010-10-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

Matthew Fraad has an inspirational story about overcoming his pornography addiction.

Matthew’s fascination with porn started out when he found a Playboy centerfold at the age of eight, by the time Matt was 11 his friend and he would go into porn stores and steal porn magazines. One day Matt's father, found his stack of porn in his bottom draw and told him “just don’t let you’re mother find it.” Matt’s father was re-affirming the lie that men look at porn and it’s not a big deal. He was trying not to make Matt feel ashamed. An 8th grade teacher also told Matt, that porn and masturbation were healthy and that young men should go for it. A friend’s mom would even rent porn films for them to watch. All this was before the Internet.

Porn taught Matt three things: 1. women are supposed to be constantly sexually available. 2. Be physically flawless 3. a woman is worth as much as the lust she generates in me.

Porn trains men in boredom, you look at a picture for five to eight seconds, and then get bored with some of the most beautiful bodies on the planet. Matt got bored quickly and moved on from soft core to hard core to strip clubs. It soon became a daily addiction. Deep down Matt knew it was wrong, something kept telling him “this is not how men should act, this is not who I want to be.” Matt wanted to be a father and a husband one day and not some guy looking for his next fix. It was finally at a strip club that Matt realized that he had to stop.

Matt was now 17. Matt described himself as a Gothic Atheist who became a Catholic after a trip to Rome. Growing up Matt thought his problem was not porn, but up-tight puritanical Christians who don’t get it. After he became a Christian , Matt learnt that you veil what is precious, and that one of these women could be his sister or his wife and did not want someone looking at them someday like he was. Matt says “Porn is not bad because it shows too much, but because it shows to little”. It strips women of their femininity and turns them into objects for consumption. Matt now runs the porneffect. com. A outreach for men and women struggling with porn. Matt says that “Women are beautiful, but objectifying them is not." Porn is not about appreciating women, but getting something out of them.

Matt Fraad talks to True Feminism about his life now

SD: Can you give some practical tips on how a man can stay faithful to his wife—and pure for himself?

MF: A man must know three things before he is ready to battle his lust and choose purity.

1. You have a problem! Stop blaming your wife, the media, the culture or even the porn industry and recognize that it’s your problem!

2. There is no secret formula to over come porn. You must understand that purity is not a destination but a journey. You wont wake up one day and exclaim “by golly I’m finally pure!” Purity requires a daily choice! (See CCC 2342) Stop looking for a magic formula and start choosing purity moment by moment.

3. The only thing that can conquer a desire is a stronger desire. Though your desire to objectify women may be strong, you’re desire to guard and love is stronger!

There is much more that could be said, but these 3 steps seem to me foundational.

SD: How can his wife help him from falling of the wagon? Maybe your wife, Cameron, would like to weigh in on this question?

MF: I can only speak from experience. When I am tempted I will ask my wife “Honey can you please ask me over the new few days if I’ve remained faithful to you?” This does a few things. First of all it makes me aware of the severity of looking at porn. It’s not simply “naughty” or “unhelpful” it is choosing to be unfaithful to God and to the woman I promised to protect and love (Mt 5:28). Secondly it is a sobering reminder in a time of temptation to that my beloved will ask if I’ve remained faithful.

When a wife discovers that her husband has been viewing pornography it feeds into the many lies that she usually already believes about herself. Lies such as “I’m not captivating”, “I’m not enough” and “No man will fight for me”. Because of this it’s crucial that she not only pray for her husband but also seek to find her identity as a beloved daughter of God the Father. Regardless of how a husband may fail in his mission to love and guard his wife, she is still objectively a princess of the King of heaven.

Finally, dear wives, pray for us, have compassion on us.

SD: In your opinion, why is porn so attractive to men?

MF: G.K. Chesterton once wrote, “Everyman who knocks on the door of a brothel is searching for God”. The same can be said for the man who views pornography; every man who clicks on a porn site is searching for God. Porn offers a warped sense of intimacy and a real sense of ecstasy. But as with all sin, it promises us everything and leaves us with less than we came with. In response to his loneliness a man seeks a sense of intimacy in porn, only to find isolation and loneliness. In repose to his desire for wonder and awe a man seeks excitement in porn only to find boredom. He seeks relief, only to find himself agitated; he seeks to have his masculinity validated but in the end finds himself to be emasculated. This is why C.S Lewis wrote in The Great Divorce “Lust is a poor, weak, whimpering whispering thing compared with that richness and energy of desire which will arise when lust has been killed.

SD: How has your faith helped you conquer your addiction?

MF: Jesus Christ is my answer. In him I have found hope, mercy, strength, desire and passion! Instead of viewing the flesh of porn I view the flesh of the Eucharist, begging Him to heal my eyes and heart. Instead of remaining in the chains of pornography I willingly take up the chain of the Rosary! Instead of making excuses, trying in vain to justify my weakness by saying things like “boys will be boys”. “It’s natural”, I now willingly accept my weakness and sin in order that He, the lover of all souls may forgive me entirely.

I’d like to remind every man reading this who may be tempted to despair that Jesus once said to St. Catherine of Sienna "My mercy is greater without any comparison than all the sins creatures can commit. Therefore it greatly displeases me that they should consider their sins to be greater."

His mercy is bigger than our sin and the only sin he cannot forgive is the one we will not ask forgiveness for.

Book for Classy Girls

2010-10-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Jordan Christy, is a music publicist for Warner Bros. and the author of "How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace." True Feminism talks to Jordan Christy about her message.

SD: What inspired you to write “How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World”?

JC: I wanted girls to know that you can be successful, intelligent, and beautiful without sacrificing all your dignity. It’s all about knowing who you are, and being proud and empowered by that knowledge. There’s no reason to shrink back just because you don’t conform to the popular standards in today’s culture.

SD: Why did you choose Audrey Hepburn as your role model?

JC: She’s such an iconic image for women everywhere, all over the world. Her poise, natural beauty, and humble nature have continued to inspire generations of young women, and I think we could use more of that!

SD: According to you girls are either smart or stupid, is there room for anything in between?

JC: I’ve actually met very few “stupid girls” in my life – there are, however, a lot of smart girls that simply make poor choices. It’s never too late though – no matter how many mistakes you’ve made, there is still time to become a classy girl.

SD: You are a music publicist for Warner Bros. How do you practise being a Hepburn in a Hilton industry?

JC: I’ve found that it really doesn’t matter what industry you work in – whether it’s the fashion industry, the food service industry, or the music business – you can and will stand out when you conduct yourself with poise and intelligence. I’ve always simply tried to do each task to the best of my ability and, simultaneously, keep a positive attitude. And, of course, you can never go wrong by avoiding mini-skirts and alcoholic beverages at work functions!

SD: What advice would you offer to those who are afraid to go against the status quo today for fear of being rejected by their peers?

JC: Stand tall and be proud of who you are! You don’t need to feel like a loser for wanting to read books instead of going out partying, or feel like an outsider for not having a boyfriend by the time you’re 28– you can hold your head high and be confident in your choices and your character, even if it doesn’t conform to today’s standards.

All That Glitters Is Not Gold

2010-09-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

Leah Darrow was one of the final contestants chosen to become America’s next top model. She had an epiphany about the objective nature of the fashion industry and quit the show. Leah talks to True Feminism about her journey.

SD: How did you make it to America’s Top Model?

LD: I auditioned in St. Louis, and made each cut until I was one of the final 14 girls on the Show, Cycle 3. While on ANTM, everything moved so fast, you didn’t have time to think, you just did what they asked of you, because if you didn’t, you were scared of being a target at the judges panel and being eliminated. I remember being scared, lonely and, at times, sad. I was very aware that we all were being watched and video taped, and I had a sense that who I was, was not good enough.

SD: Why did you quit the modeling industry?

LD: I remember my Catholic faith being called into question while on the Show. Tyra Banks, asked me at the judges panel, “Are you Catholic?” This question hit my heart like a pound of bricks, I felt suffocated because by this point in my life, my Catholic faith took a back seat role; I was not authentically Catholic. I lied to Tyra. I told her I was Catholic. Since then, I have realized that we lie sometimes when we wish we were the lie, that the lie would be true. We lie about our status, who we know, our bank accounts, our families; I lied about being Catholic because I truly wanted to be Catholic...and wasn’t.

I was asked to model for an international magazine. The shoot started out like most photo shoots, hair, make-up, and wardrobe. When the stylists brought out the rack of clothes for me to choose from, they were all itty-bitty. I knew that the goal of the shoot was ‘sexy’. I felt uncomfortable thumbing through the clothes and didn’t have the courage at that time to walk away. I thought to myself, “This is a job, be a professional - just do it.”

In the middle of the photo shoot, I had an experience in which my entire life was finally made clear - and the reality was that it was completely chaotic and not in sync with my faith, that I held dearly. I wanted to be loved, I wanted attention but I also wanted to be pure, faithful and authentic. The clarity that happened in front of my eyes, during the shoot, was like a huge hit to my ego but also to my heart. It was so clear to me at that point, that I was the furthest thing from an authentic person. I had to change my life (I wanted to change my life) because I hated living the lie. My life surrounded itself with making sure I always looked good, I desperately cared about what others thought, I based my self worth on the next Vogue magazine or what my boyfriend said about me. It was a terribly wretched way to live and I just couldn’t bare it anymore.

Before I knew it, the shoot was concluding and I ran to my wardrobe room, took off their clothes, put on mine and ran out. I cried, mascara running down my face, while walking down 5th Avenue. Sadly, a sight many New Yorkers seemed to be familiar with, as no one approached me or looked in my direction.

When I reached home, and after many days of crying, I did the only thing a girl can do ... I called my Dad. I told him over the phone that if he did not come and pick me up, I was going to lose my soul. There was an eerie silence on the phone and my Dad then said, “Ok baby, I’m coming to get you.” My father drove literally halfway across the country to come pick me up. He showed up on my doorstep with the largest smile I have ever seen. I was clearly upset, distraught, and depressed but my Dad was happy and joyful. He said, “I am so happy to see you! I can’t wait to see Central Park and go to Carnegie Deli. But first... We’re going to confession!” My Dad told me that if I just wanted a ride home, I should have called Southwest Airlines; but if I wanted help, he was there to take me home - and Church is home.

SD: Who are your role models?

LD: Jesus Christ and His Mother, Mary.

SD: What is your definition of an ideal man?

LD: Someone who knows the definition of a real man in light of Catholic scared tradition and teachings.

SD: Why do you think it is difficult for girls to live modestly in our culture?

LD: I think it is difficult to live modestly when you are surrounded by such things like Lady Gaga, Abercrombie & Fitch, MTV and People Magazine. These influences do not care about your soul or if you are loved or not. They want you to believe that fantasy is reality. The music, fashion and entertainment industries all promote a lifestyle consisting of empty promises. All that glitters is not gold.

SD: Do you have to sacrifice fashion for modesty?

LD: A true fashionista is someone who wears fashion; not someone who wears her body as fashion. Clothing makes a statement about ourselves - it can tell us what we believe, where we are going, etc... Fashion is a powerful and quiet communicator. You only sacrifice fashion when you use your body to make a statement instead of your own personal style. Anybody can show their legs, cleavage, or wear an outfit 2 sizes too small ... It takes someone who respects her body enough to acknowledge its sacredness and dresses it accordingly without losing style - now that’s a true fashionista.

SD: What advice do you have for parents whose children may be interested in modeling or may have trouble accepting the call to modesty?

LD: It is true that not all modeling is bad but I would severely warn parents against putting time, effort and sacrifice into their children’s modeling before they put the time, effort and sacrifice into their faith. Modesty is not just about covering up. Modesty is about revealing the beauty of the soul through faith. When our youth are becoming more and more naked in their fashions, we must look to see how they are understanding themselves through the scope of faith. There is obviously a disconnect.

One of the ultimate ways to humiliate a person in front of others is to strip them naked. By doing this, you strip the person of their dignity. Today’s fashion is doing just that - striping our youth of their dignity by these barely-there fashions. This is beyond immodesty. Immodesty used to describe (in fashion) mini skirts, super tight and low cut tops. Today’s fashion trend starters just have less and less clothes on, period. Have you seen Lady Gaga? All she is is a leotard and clown make-up. [Pop culture] Fashion has become a circus.

The Eclipse of Dating

2010-09-17T15:11:00.000-07:00

A campus psychologist and head of the Sexual Assault Prevention & Response at a major university had seen an influx of mostly women in her office with serious complaints: physical, emotional, and mental, in response to their involvement with the hook up culture. Her friend Filmmaker Denice Ann Evans was inspired to make a documentary about this.

When the university involved pulled the funding from the project in the final hour, Denice went on to make the film herself over the course of three years. The feature length was screened at film festivals and a 35-minute educational version was made for classrooms.

Denice talks to True Feminism about Spitting Game: The College Hook Up Culture

SD: What is a Spitting Game?

DE: Spitting Game is a term used by, mostly college age men, referring to the lines they use to pick up girls. At the beginning of my film I have the Urban Dictionary definition, which is: To use charm, wit, humor, or other means to verbally let a female know that you are interested in her. Often includes compliments and other forms of flattery that will hopefully end in a phone number which leads to a date, which leads to hot sex.

SD: How common are hook-ups in Colleges?

DE: I can’t give you an empirical percentage on just how many students are hooking up, but I can tell you that hooking up has eclipsed traditional dating. Having sex without commitment or even the notion of having a committed relationship is the normative social standard on all types of college and university campuses across the United States.

SD: Can hook-ups lead to serious relationships, as indicated by a study conducted at the University of Iowa?

DE: Anything is possible. It is possible that I might win the lottery if I keep buying lottery tickets. But, it is not very probable, nor should I plan my financial future on winning the lottery. So with that being said, I think that most students who are hooking up are not seeking serious relationships, so in that respect I agree with the findings of the Iowa study. However, I also believe that a good majority of students who would prefer a serious relationship will not admit it and are influenced by the enormous amount of peer pressure to accept the “straight to sex, no strings attached” model that is so pervasive on campuses.

Additionally, I think the ability to get in touch with one’s deepest desires is complicated by the emotionally numbing effects of alcohol. The truth is that most hook ups are done under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. Why do students need to be drunk to hook up? That is a whole study in itself. Basically, the college women or men who are just hoping a serious relationship will result from a hook up are setting themselves up for failure.

As far as the Iowa study goes, it was based on a “survey” of only 642 adults, hardly enough people to claim any significant findings in my opinion. How many college students are having their first experience and continued experiences with drunken hook ups? A lot more than 642. There is no way to quantitatively determine the future success of long term relationships based on delayed sex or hook up sex. Quite frankly, we have not even begun to see the social aftermath of the hook up culture. Give it another ten years, then do a thorough comprehensive study.

It is funny to me that people write about the hook up culture and use the term “casual sex” as if students are all just experimenting with their sexuality and enjoying the benefits of having great sex without the emotional or time demands of a committed relationship. That is a huge misnomer in my opinion. There is a big difference between casual sex and “hook up sex.” Most students, from the hundreds I have actually talked to tell me that their hook ups are usually drunken romps that they may or may not remember the next morning and that most of the “casual sex” that takes place during the hook up is male-centric, meaning it is focused on the guy’s pleasure, not the woman’s. So, for those reading this that will challenge this status quo, let me say that I believe there are some students who can have hook up sex without commitment and enjoy their liberation and go on to have fulfilling long term relationships (if that is what they choose,) because like I said at the beginning of this…anything is possible.

SD: How can parents/teachers be more vigilant about what goes on in the lives of their children/students?

DE: This is a great question. First and foremost parents and teachers need to open up the lines of communication. Parents need to educate themselves on up to date sexual standards. They need to understand the social world their children are entering into. It is not the same socio-sexual environment they had when they were growing up. The media is more hyper-sexualized than ever and the availability of sexually explicit material on the internet is staggering. Parents need to start educating their children with age appropriate levels of sex education from the time they are able to understand it. I started speaking to my sons about sex and relationships when they started asking me questions and that was around age 7. Too many parents shy away from talking about the subject of sex and sexuality. This is a huge mistake. Many high school students are going into college with a lack of accurate information about sex and relationships because they are told having sex period is wrong.

The reality is that the majority of high school and college age students are going to experiment with sex. It is a natural part of human relationships to want to have sex. Instead of making it taboo, parents need to establish open lines of communication and back it up with real world real applications that are current and relatable. Even if some parents believe in abstinence only, they can and should back that belief up with clear, concise, current sex education. Sending your son or daughter into a hot bed of hook ups and alcohol fueled parties on college campuses without the proper sex education is dangerous. If parents really want to protect their children they need to educate them. If a student has a trusted parent they can rely on, then they are more apt to share their experiences in high school or college with that parent.

One of my sons is now in college and I told him that no matter what he hears from his peers or the media, that I am in fact, the person he can absolutely trust to tell him the truth above everyone else. I encouraged him to come to me first if he was ever confused about something or just needed more information. I know my son listened to me, because one day when we were just chatting about relationships and about a particular girl that he liked, he told me point blank that he wanted to know more about HPV. He said he wanted to know everything about it and so I told him everything I knew and that was a lot! I also guided him to certain websites that I knew to have factual and accessible information. I felt very honored that my son came to me first instead of getting his knowledge second hand.

As far as the schools & teachers are concerned, they need to become more progressive in providing prevention materials and trainings for their administration and students. They especially need to focus on engaging their male athletic departments and fraternities. Most schools are based on a risk reduction model and have turned the problem of sexual assault into a “woman’s issue.” It is not exclusively up to women to reduce their risk of sexual assault while they are attending college. Men need to be made accountable as well. The notion that women just need to “watch where they go at night” and “be careful not to drink too much” or “wear skimpy clothing” is just antiquated advice that takes the burden off men and shifts it to the women. Colleges and universities also need to start disclosing the fact that sexual assault DOES happen on their campuses and then show prospective students and their parents what their school is actively doing to prevent it. Parents need to put the colleges on alert by questioning schools about their sexual assault policies before they send their children there.

Prostitution Alternatives Part 1

2010-09-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

This is a series on the different approaches taken to helping women in prostitution.

Kerry Port is the executive director of P.A.C.E (Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education) and a former survival sex worker. Kerry talks to True Feminism about what she does.

SD: What options do you offer survival sex workers?

KP: P.A.C.E operates within a continuum of services to sex workers. We work with sex workers while they are still in transition in trade and in drug use too. We take a harm reduction approach, so there’s no requirement that they pledge to get off drugs or stop doing sex work to receive services. People need to remember that nobody starts out their career using drugs or in sex work, they end up many years later here in the downtown east side. Average age of members is 38 so making positive changes in their life and their lifestyle is something that can take years. We help them recognize their own assets, help to raise their self-esteem to a point that they are ready to start looking at other options

SD: What percentage of the people you help are women? How many are men?

KP: 99 per cent female, 40 per cent are transgendered, and at the moment we have 2 male clients. The chair of our board operates an outreach program for males so if we come across male clients we refer them to a different program.

SD: Why you support the decriminalization of prostitution?

KP: We are absolutely in favour of the full decimalization of sex work, as the necessary first step for ending the abuses that go on within sex work. The moment you prohibit any activity, that people actually want to do like have sex and do drugs, a criminal underworld will grow up around it, to facilitate it. A lot of abuses in sex work have to with the criminal nature of it. You take away the criminality and a lot of those abuses are exposed to the cold light of day. It will not have an immediate impact on survival sex work driven by desperation, in addition to decriminalization we are calling for an increase in services that are helpful to survival sex workers such as female only detox centers and treatment centers. They need better housing, we need to raise the welfare rates, the minimum wage, there needs to be appropriate treatment for individuals with mental health issues also.

SD: How do you measure the success of your efforts/objectives?

KP: The ongoing program we have has a one to one relationship with a support worker that pays and she helps individuals with housing issues, health issues, eating disorders, and other health issues. Our violence prevention workshop offers programs that deal with confrontational management such as physical violence. We do a lot of public education. Success for us in an improvement in the self-esteem of one of our members, and helping them to accomplish goals so their lives are more stable, success for us doesn’t necessarily mean that the indivdual leave the sex trade.

SD: Melissa Farley, founder of Prostitution Research and education, says that decriminalization, does not help prostitutes, but only pimps. Do you agree with this?

KP: No. Melissa Farley along with a couple of other researchers, are what we call prohibitionists, they like to call themselves abolitionists. They are trying, to conflate different types of sex work, different types of circumstances, and want one story of sex workers that they are all victims, they exercise no agency in their lives. Most of Farley’s research is not scientific, and its not peer reviewed and comes with a bias, towards finding stories that support her theories that all sex workers get raped. I am a former sex worker, I was a survival sex worker, and a heroine addict. It was my choice made as an adult and I exercise choices on a daily basis. I am pretty offended by Melissa Farley’s views.

SD: How did you get into survival sex work?

KP: I entered the trade at 34. I have an undergraduate degree. I worked for 15 years in university administration. I developed issues due to abuse as a child, un-resolved issues caused me to experiment with drugs and my drug addiction ultimately caused me to lose my job. At that point, I went into sex work hoping only to be in it for a short period of time, pay off some bills, until I get a little more stable, what I didn’t understand was the insidious connection between sex work and drug use, my drug use escalated, during my work as a sex worker for four years.

SD: What ethical stance does P.A.C.E take on prostitution?

KP: We don’t see this as a moral issue, what two consenting adults do sexually together whether it’s for money or not is between the two of them, and we consider any abuse involved in the sex trade to be sexually exploitative, we deplore the conditions where individuals are trafficked in the sex trade, but then again if you decriminalize all aspects of sex work, they can be exposed, and we do have a criminal code to deal with abuses like that, but it’s not enforced right now.

The Triumph of the Human Spirit

2010-09-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

Monika Moreno is a screenwriter and the director of the Angelus Student Film Festival, in Hollywood. Monika talks to True Feminism about the mission of Angelus.

SD: What does Angelus do?

MM: Angelus student film festival honors student filmmakers on an international level, at film schools, and universities. We honour the filmmaker as they create films that respect, the dignity of the human person, for example films shorts such as animation or documentary must have a theme such as redemption, tolerance, dignity, forgiveness, or spirituality. It could be a comedy, a tragedy, a hard-hitting documentary or a hilarious animation.

SD: How are Festival entries selected?

MM: We receive anywhere from 400 to 700 films a year and they go through three sets of jurors. Three people see the film in the first round, our judging is the heart of Angelus, because we take such great care and laborious detail, making sure each film, gets a fair shot, so it’s not just based on one person’s opinion, we might have a group watch a film, then a different group. We select a few members and those are our semi-finalists, and we have a top group of industry professionals choose the winners.

SD: How does Angelus differ from other Student film festivals?

MM: The difference between the Angelus student festivals and others for one is our theme, that the films must engage the heart, we do require production excellence, but stories are paramount and the central mission of Angelus.

SD: How does someone enter an Angelus film festival?

MM: It doesn’t matter what country they are from, they just go to our website or to without a box.com, fill out the application online and send it to us. We keep prices down, we are a non-profit film festival. This year we have a new award called "Wake up to justice" and the winner of that must be around live action or documentary, must centre on social issues in a global way. The grand prizewinner gets $10,000 and then we have a $5,000 winner for a film that wins the triumph of the spirit award and then we have outstanding documentary and outstanding animation, so it’s quite gratifying to see Hollywood back our little festival. We offer tickets free in Hollywood, our goal, is to bring visibility to talented young filmmakers, who should have a career, in Hollywood or internationally.

After the festival is over we have tours, we go to Sundance and we are fortunate to be able to go to one international venue each year. We go to few other universities around the country, we believe film is universal language and the themes cross every culture, religion, every background: forgiveness, redemption, triumph of the spirit, so we believe what we are doing is to be able to take these young filmmakers around the world at times.

SD: What’s your favourite Angelus film?

MM: Its like crops of vine, it’s different every year you don’t know what you’re going to get. "I am always excited to see smaller films rise to the top, comedies have difficulty in general, even with the Academy awards, for some reasons, judges don’t always take comedy as seriously as the dramatic fair." We certainly have some great hard-hitting, dramas, this year and I am excited about them. " I am excited about a comedy, and for the world to see this comedy called "God of love." win the 10,000 grand prize." It will be interesting to see how that crosses over internationally.

SD: What advice would you offer someone who’s interested in the world of Alternate or independent filmmaking?

MM: Everybody always says persist and preserver and that’s certainly essential, but I would say “ study your craft first and by that I mean watch as many films as you can and I am always impressed when a young filmmaker, knows films from the 40s, 60s, 70s and knows international filmmakers." If they do they are going to go far. It’s like a lawyer studying cases and a doctor studying medicine. You just don’t jump in with your scalpel, because you have a great concept or any idea that happened to you or your buddy. They study and study for years. Not just film, but literature and music, and life and the arts and the more this is under their belt it certainty comes out. You can tell which filmmaker is going to make it because they take it so seriously that they eat, sleep, and drink it. Take your craft seriously.

SD: Where do the Winners go?

MM: The winners generally use their short film as a calling card, there are so many people flooding, Hollywood or saturating offices here, wanting to get a break or to be heard. You just have a screenplay or an idea you are not going to get heard quickly. With a film, a judge can see pretty quickly if you have talent or not. You can use that to get into festivals and to get noticed so many of our past winners have taken jobs, a few have made features, others have taken editing jobs, if they are animators they are getting story board artist jobs. We took one guy to Sundance last year, he was very enterprising, met somebody from MTV, who got him distribution and his feature will be at Toronto Film Festival this year.

SD: How did Angelus come up with its theme “the Triumph of the Human Spirit”?

MM: Angelus is 15 years old. 15 years ago the films that were coming out of Hollywood, were violent and were exploiting various negative elements in society, there are few good themes coming out too. A few people here got together, and thought "wouldn’t it be wonderful if we actually had a festival, if we have a venue for filmmakers to pursue these themes and award them." At the time they weren’t being awarded for that. We didn’t know if that would take off. It was very small, we only opened it to Southern California to see if there was interest, and the interest was overwhelming and it went on to a domestic, national and international level and it just took off.

The C Word

2010-09-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Christina Condit, is a young chastity speaker, who talks to teenagers about why waiting to have sex is worth it. Christina shares her insights with True Feminism.

SD: What is Chastity?

CC: Chastity is a word that can make most of us cringe. When I am dating a guy I never say to him.. “I am practicing chastity…” Who under the age of 20 understands what that means anyway? However, there IS beautiful meaning behind this word we run from. Simply stated it is waiting until marriage to have sex. It is recognizing that the most valuable gift you can give someone is yourself. Its recognizing that not everyone deserves you because for instance.. “Where do you find diamonds? On every street corner, available to everyone? No, they are hidden, buried. Where do we find pearls? In our back yard? No, at the bottom of the ocean. Anything that is sacred or valuable is covered and hard work to find.”~Anonymous

Your body is a treasure, so let someone work to deserve it.

In more concrete ways: it is setting boundaries or standards on where he can place his hands when you are dancing, or asking him or her if you can not always hang out in the basement because it leads to trouble, etc., By setting these standards there is a clear line and also you will discover if the person is there to spend time with YOU or your body.

By making the decision to wait until marriage it gives you clarity! When you begin to go farther than kissing there is a chemical called, Oxytocin, that is released to your brain that attaches you to that person forever. So if you go home with someone, like our music tells us too, and end up attached to that person, you might ignore if they are selfish, lazy, etc., and that’s why relationships end up a mess. That’s the point of sexual things.. to bond you to each other and this is perfect in marriage! Taking sex out of marriage is like taking fire out of a fireplace. A beautiful gift can quickly become destructive.

SD: How did you become a chastity speaker?

CC: For many reasons,

1) I thought many adults didn’t know how to connect to our high school world, STD slide shows didn’t scare us, or help us, we wanted to know why to wait. The only person who was effective was Jason Evert, so I started educating myself on this topic during my breaks because we definitely didn’t learn it in school. I wanted to be an example and do something to help my friends who needed guidance.

2) God allowed me to suffer the pain of being neglected and being apart of a family that did not love one another. Being neglected as a child resulted to searching for love in all the wrong places such as alcohol. But those painful years of my childhood are a blessing in disguise. It has giving me the conviction to help others understand how important it is to truly love each other so we can stop inflicting pain on our babies.

At 18, I decided to volunteer in the high schools of my hometown, Cincinnati Ohio. I had a passion in my heart that I knew didn’t come from me. I had found my purpose, I wanted to make the world a better place by helping others discover what it means to love. At 20 I signed onto CMGbooking.com (Catholic Media Group). I didn’t plan on this happening but when I was a waitress at 18 years old I’d go to the chapel after my shift and tell God my dreams and that I wanted to speak in every high school in America! Well, He listens to us.

SD: Why do you think we should change our attitudes toward our bodies?

CC: It depends on what your attitude is in the first place. It might not need to change. But when I am speaking in High schools I always ask them if they have ever heard of the word Lust? They all say “yes!” Then I ask them, “Can you define it for me?” Dead silence. I begin to explain the many ways we use the word love. I can say, “I love my dog.” “I love my mom.” “I love my boyfriend.” And” I love pizza.” (Mary Beth Bonnocci speaks of pizza love) The word “love” meant something different in every sentence

When I say I love pizza… do I trust pizza? Am I going to cherish pizza and do special things for it? No. I love pizza because it gives me pleasure, it makes me happy, and when I’m done with it I through it away. Sadly, sometimes we do this with each other and that is called pizza love or lust. Lust is in it for the taking, love is in it for the giving. So ask yourself… do I constantly try to take? Or am I trying to give?

I’d like to share an embarrassing story. When I was in college I was at a party and I was talking to this guy that I didn’t know very well. When we were saying our goodbyes’ I gave him a hug. He had big muscles, so I for some reason decided to tell him “Wow, you have big muscles.” He became proud, and I again said something else very brilliant, “Oh, well I have a six pack.” The point of the story is this: He said “Oh ya, you have a six pack? Lift up your shirt, let me see it.” I just brushed it off saying it was really not that big of deal because in all honesty it was lie. He became annoyed that I did not lift up my shirt to show him this “six pack” and he said, “Christina, it’s just a body, we all have bodies.”

I just stood there and it hit me, that his attitude about looking at someone else’s body as no big deal is really sad. And THIS is what needs to change about our generation. We went our separate ways and I wish I would have said to him, “You know, I don’t view the body as just a body, to me it is a treasure and I don’t share it with every guy that I meet.” The reason that we cover ourselves is not because our bodies are bad, it is because they are so good!! But we are being lied to from the TV and the media to take our clothes off, while finding ourselves empty the next morning. I talk to them about realizing the true worth of their body and what a difference we could make if we stopped treating each other as no big deal.

SD: What is your definition womanhood as you see it?

CC: The most beautiful thing about a girl is her mystery. But we have become so available by the way we dress and dance. A guy will be as much of a gentleman as we require them to be. Girls have the power to turn a guys head but we also have the power to change their heart. Fashions have changed since the 60s but guys minds haven’t. I have a friend, Julie, who used to be a cheerleader for the Rams and she has an incredible story of how she got picked. She is a brunette so she knew she couldn’t compete with the blonde bombshells so she decided to be creative. She showed up for the tryouts and 1200 girls were trying out. They were all wearing bikinis, push up this… and showing that.

There were five judges, which were only men. As she approached the runway she wasn’t wearing a bikini. She wore a classy black dress to her knees, big sunglasses, and tucked all her hair up into a large hat. She carried herself with confidence and when she reached the end of the runway, near the judges, she whipped that hat off and let her beautiful hair fall out and then removed her sunglasses and walked away. The judges all stared and said, “Wow!” and she was chosen. She is an example that you do not have to be beautiful to show skin. And men are attracted to the mystery of a woman who knows this.

SD: Haven’t studies proven that all these chastity programs don’t work or are unrealistic?

CC: I’d be careful and look into what study you are talking about. Some are not reliable studies. I only know this because I studied Education in college and spent years researching what was going on in the education system and what exactly is being taught. Many heath classes teach abstinence for maybe a week and it consists of slide shows of STDs and then learning about body parts. It focuses on the negative consequences instead of the positives. Many people are uncomfortable talking about love and this is why our students are left confused about what it means to really love and who is telling them they are valuable? Also, the Government is sending mixed messages, for every $1 spent on abstinence programs, $12 is spent on condoms and safe sex programs.

As far as reliable studies: The National institute of Health (NIH) did a thirteen-month study on safe sex and I suggest you look into their findings. They have stated that the piece of plastic we offer teens is a joke and does not protect them emotionally, spiritually, socially, and even physically. They don’t call it “safe sex” or use the word “protection” because it would be a lie. We are just not being told these things.

Programs that work: W.A.I.T. Training is a program that is very effective that many teachers might want to incorporate. It is very positive and creative and can be taught in public schools. Best Friends is another program that has been very effective in the D.C. area with amazing results of more than half their students choosing to wait until marriage. Visit www.waittraining.com to find the statistics.

SD: What kind of reactions do you get from teenagers at your talks?

CC: Visit www.ursoworthit .org and click on the videos and see for yourself! It is the reactions that kept me going in the beginning. I had my own plans and a chastity speaker was not part of them at first. But after so many cards and emails from teens, I cried, because I saw how much they were screaming for someone to be real with them and give them hope. I left my “dreams” to help others achieve theirs. And it’s ironically very rewarding and I am very happy to do this for Christ.

SD: Wouldn’t restricting teenagers make them more curious or more likely to experiment, since the forbidden fruit is always sweeter?

CC: This is an interesting question because, in my opinion, there’s no way to restrict a teenager. If a teenager wants to do something, they probably will. My purpose is not to restrict them but to educate them. They are just as free to choose after my speech as they were before. And when I hit them with truth, many no longer desire what is empty or coated as “the forbidden fruit”. They are ready for what’s real and I make it very clear that it takes hard work and patience. Do you think they want to be empty? I don’t think they do. We are all searching for love and for what is real. Learning to love the way we were meant too, is freeing. Saying NO to sex is actually saying YES to your dreams, to your future, your future husband or wife!

SD: What advice would you offer to men or women trying to leave chaste lives?

CC: It is sooooo worth it!! Don’t settle! Wait for someone who challenges you to be a better person. And don’t quit if you mess up, no one is perfect. I speak not because I’ve lived a perfect life.. but because I haven’t given up and I still believe! I found that when I wasn’t praying I fell for the wrong guys and my standards fell because I just wanted to feel loved. Today, I pray the rosary every day and I stay close to Our lady. I have given my heart to Jesus for safe keeping and no one is going to get it until he says so. I write letters to my future husband and I pray for him every day now.

In more concrete ways: Before you and your boyfriend hang out or go away for the weekend, have a plan and be clear on where you will and will not hang out. The basement is never a good idea. Nothing good happens after midnight, and late night texts are trouble. And watch how God blesses it and you will experience a love you never knew existed!

Breastfeeding Vs. Infant Formula

2010-09-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Elisabeth Sterkin is the National Director of INFACT (Infant Feeding Action Coalition). Elisabeth talks to True Feminism about the need to protect and promote breastfeeding.

SD: What is INFACT?

ES: The Infant Feeding Action Coalition (INFACT) Canada is a national non-profit, non-governmental organization working to improve the health and well-being of women, infants, and young children through the promotion, protection and support of breastfeeding. INFACT Canada was the proud recipient of the Right Livelihood Award presented in the Swedish parliament in 1998 for its work in the support of breastfeeding through the implementation of the International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes.

Some of INFACT Canada’s core projects and initiatives include:

1. Training of health care workers, social support workers on the supports to enable women to breastfeed.

2. Spearheading Canada’s World Breastfeeding Week activities.

3. Production of resources for health and community support providers to support promote and protect breastfeeding.

4. Providing information on maternal rights to pregnant women and new mothers. Providing support when they encounter discrimination and addressing the public obligation to honour women’s rights.

5. Monitor and reduce commercial pressures to dissuade mothers from breastfeeding and working to implement the WHO International Code of Marketing of Breast milk Substitutes.

6. Internationally INFACT Canada is the IBFAN representative for North America and works with UN agencies – ILO – maternal workplace rights; the WHO – breastfeeding protection and maternal health; UNICEF – maternal and child health. IBFAN works to implement UN instruments that protect women’s and children’s health – the Convention on the Rights of the Child; The Convention on the Elimination of All Discrimination Against Women; the ILO – maternity protection;

7. INFACT Canada promotes the International Boycott of Nestle, the world’s largest manufacturer and distributor of infant formula and baby foods and a leader in violating the World Health Organization International Code and World Health Assembly Resolutions.

SD: What are the benefits of Breastfeeding?

ES: Breastfeeding should be seen as the normal continuum of pregnancy and birthing and hence is not special or different, but the way infant and young children are nurtured. Therefore to those working in the breastfeeding community, we speak of the importance of breastfeeding for children and their mothers rather than the benefits of breastfeeding. The term benefits of breastfeeding also legitimizes formula feeding as the alternative to breastfeeding and the marketing of artificial feeding products suggests that it is a choice mothers/parents make between two options. The aggressive advertising by the infant formula companies is also intended to normalize formula feeding.

SD: What are the risks of infant formulas?

ES: For Infants and Children the risks are:

Increased risk of asthma. Increased risk of allergy. Reduced cognitive development. Increased risk of acute respiratory disease. Increased altered occlusion. Increased risk for infection from contaminated formula. Increased risk of nutrient deficiency. Increased risk of childhood cancer. Increased risk of chronic disease. Increased risk of diabetes. Increased risk of cardiovascular disease. Increased risk of obesity. Increased risk of gastrointestinal infections. Increased risk of mortality. Increased risk of otitis media and ear infections. Increased risk of side effects of environmental contaminants.

ES: For Mothers the risks are:

Increased risk of breast cancer. Increased risk of overweight. Increased risk of ovarian cancer and endometrial cancer. Increased risk of osteoporosis. Reduced natural child spacing. Increased risk of rheumatoid arthritis. Increased stress and anxiety. Increased risk of maternal diabetes.

SD: What about working mothers or mothers who are sick and can’t breastfeed their babies?

ES: Canada has a partially paid maternity leave of 12 months for many working mothers and this an important support to enable mothers to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and to continue breastfeeding to two years and beyond as recommended by Health Canada, the WHO and the Can Ped Society. Additionally when a breastfeeding mother goes back to work, her employer must make reasonable accommodation to her lactation needs i.e. provide breaks, refrigeration and space for pumping her breast milk during working hours.

SD: What is pregnancy discrimination?

ES: To deny full access to all society has to offer because a woman is pregnant. Discrimination based on gender (against a pregnant woman or a lactating mother and her baby) is prohibited by the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and enforced through the Human Rights Codes in the Provinces and territories.

SD: We have fashion magazines where women’s breasts are exposed, but people find breastfeeding in public offensive. Why do you think this attitude exists?

ES : I think this is a limited number of people who find the sight of breastfeeding offensive. Now that more and more mothers are breastfeeding, it is becoming more visible. There is an unfortunate part of the population that seems to blur nurturing breasts with sexual breasts and are unable to understand the duality of breasts and unable understand that breastfeeding is a woman’s reproductive right.

Of course the use of women’s breast to sell virtually everything is influencing how breasts are perceived. Women need to reclaim how their breasts are portrayed – yes of course we are sexual and we are also nurturing.

SD: How can individuals help create awareness about this issue?

ES: Some suggestions:

Advocate for women’s rights to breastfeed without interference

a) commercial interference - using free samples, misleading adverts, bogus claims, the distribution through the health care system etc. Health Canada must be far more aggressive about protecting the rights of mother and children to breastfeeding with out all the interference by the formula and bottle companies.

b) advocate for the Baby-Friendly Initiative in hospitals, community health units/centres, communities, breastfeeding friendly birthing practices, past partum support, community peer support.

c) Educate about the risks of formula feeding to all – in schools, prenatal classes, new mothers and all of society to ensure that breastfeeding is valued as important and the norm for feeding children.

d) Teachers and educators: training in all areas of the educational system about the importance of breastfeeding and how mothers and babies can be supported by society.

e) The media can highlight the research about the risks of formula feeding and the importance of breastfeeding when new research becomes available or when breastfeeding issues appear such as discrimination against breastfeeding mothers and babies.

SD: What is boycott Nestle?

ES: Nestle is one of the world’s largest producer and marketer of infant formula. Nestle is considered to be the trend setter in how these products are marketed. The company flagrantly violates the International Code and infant and young child nutrition resolutions of the World Health Assembly, seriously contributing to the 1.3 million death annually related to non or insufficient breastfeeding. Though monitoring reports show systematic global violations of the International Code by Nestle, they continue to refuse to abide by the marketing recommendations of the WHO, putting infant, young children and their mothers at risk.

Lingerie Model is Now Modesty Director

2010-09-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

Brenda Sharman sent True Feminism her story.

Brenda Sharman has been working as one of the Southeast's busiest professional models and commercial actresses for the last 20 years. She has appeared in numerous catalogs, magazines, fashion shows, and ad campaigns for clients such as Marriott, MGM Grand, Sandals Resorts, PGA Golf, Steinmart, and Elixsure cough medicine. She can also be found hosting industrial videos and appearing in numerous television commercials for clients from coast to coast.

In 1990, Brenda was crowned Miss Georgia USA after winning the first pageant she ever entered. She went on to finish among the top six in the 1990 Miss USA Pageant and from there was sent to represent the United States in the international "Miss Flower Queen Pageant" held in Osaka Japan. Brenda competed against women from 36 countries from around the world and won!

Today, Brenda especially enjoys working with her husband, Steve, who has also been one of the South's busiest models for the last 28 years. Their work as a "model couple" has taken them to exciting locations like Aruba, Barbados, Curacao, Jamaica and St. Lucia. They have three young sons who have joined the family business and enjoy working with Mom and Dad in print advertisements as well as modeling in Fashion Shows.

After growing up in an Agnostic family, Brenda’s search for God began in 1995 during her pregnancy with her first son, Stephen. Through the miracle and gift of becoming a mother, she felt a growing need to discover “Who is God? And, Where can I find Him?” Brenda realized her new responsibility as a mother to answer big questions like, “Where did I come from?” and she knew she had some studying to do! While reading about various world religions, Brenda also began to read the Bible and learn the differences between the Christian Churches she once assumed were the same.

After discovering the roots of Christianity and realizing the coherence of the Church Fathers with the modern Catholic Church, she knew that the Catholic Church was certainly the Church that Christ founded, and the one to which Christ was calling her. At the Easter Vigil in April of 1999 Brenda’s life was forever changed after receiving the Sacraments of Baptism, Holy Communion and Confirmation. “I immediately felt like a different person,” recalls Brenda. “I could definitely relate to 2 Corinthians 5:17 which says, ‘If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away and the new has come’.”

One of the areas of Brenda’s life that was deeply impacted by the realization that she had been called to be a “Woman of God”, was in the area of deciding what she would, or would not, model anymore. She no longer felt comfortable having a photograph of herself wearing undergarments in the Sunday newspaper although she had been modeling lingerie for most of her career. “I realized that our culture had grown increasingly more immodest, and indecent, and I had to decide if I was going to be part of the problem or part of the solution”, said Brenda. “I also realized that out of Christian charity, I should never knowingly or willingly lead another person into an occasion of sin by the way I look, act, dress or speak. My new measuring stick became, ‘Never do anything at work that I wouldn’t want shown to my entire Parish on a Sunday morning!’

At home in Atlanta, you will find Brenda teaching adult education classes, teaching PSR (CCD) in her local Parish and serving as the National Director for Pure Fashion, the countries fastest growing character formation program for teen girls!

As the founding national director of Pure Fashion, Brenda has helped Pure Fashion become one of the leading organizations in the Modesty Movement. Her insight into the world of fashion and advertising has helped to establish the Pure Fashion program as a fun and effective program which helps young women realize their inherent dignity and cultivates in them a desire to live, behave and dress in accordance with that dignity.

Since becoming the founding National Director of Pure Fashion in 2006, Brenda and the Pure Fashion program have been featured in media outlets such as The Dr. Phil show, Nightline, Life on the Rock, USA Today, Newsweek, the Wall Street Journal, Marie Claire magazine, and countless other newspaper and radio interviews.

With 26 cities in the U.S. offering the program along with programs in France, Italy, Belgium, Hungary, The Phillipines, Spain, Mexico, Argentina, and Canada, Pure Fashion is working to make an impact around the world!

With Pure Fashion focusing on young women dressing modestly and protecting their purity, Brenda truly believes that through Pure Fashion, we really can change our culture.... one outfit at a time!

For Brenda’s intro video testimony, please visit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUI4-EoAwKI

For more information on Pure Fashion, please visit www.purefashion.com

For modeling photos of Brenda, please visit www.brendasharman.com

Ex-Porn Producer Advocates Education Over Legislation

2010-08-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

Warning: This article has adult content.

Donny Pauling was a Porn producer for nine years. Donny's clients included major networks such as Playboy. Donny talks to True Feminism on why he quit the industry.

SD: How did you become a porn producer?

DP: That was a process that started when I first brought a computer into my home in the late 90s. When my wife was at work or asleep I'd look at porn on the Internet. I started thinking, "I could make money producing this stuff" and had this fantasy about how great it would be to be paid to photograph naked girls. I contacted my favorite sites and asked where they purchased their content. One of them gave me a shot, and it turned out others hired me simply because that first one was well known. I often heard, "If you can produce for them, you can produce for us". My career was launched, albeit part time and behind my wife's back for the first 3 years.

SD: What marketing techniques did you use to hook your audiences?

DP: I specialized in shooting first time amateurs. I'd photograph any woman willing to pose, no matter what her body shape or size. I knew enough about human nature to know there was a market for just about anything. My network had 12 million unique monthly visitors at one point. I received good reviews for my willingness to put just about anybody in front of a camera.

SD: Why is Playboy not seen as porn or a mild version of it?

DP: I'm assuming you're referring to the main Playboy magazine - the company actually owns some of the most hard core porn sites on the Internet, with names so raunchy you wouldn't be able to print them.

As for the main magazine, I think many people DO consider it porn. It's mild by today's standards, for sure. Porn is progressively more extreme. I suppose the same can be said for many aspects of human existence, however. Because of the extremes some go to, many people tend to label Playboy magazine as mild or non-pornographic. The truth is, even some of our network TV shows are pornographic, despite the fact that clothes might be kept on. Let's not fool ourselves.

SD: Prof. Robert Jensen, an anti-pornography activist says “capitalism plays a big role in the success of the sex industry.” Do you agree?

DP: Of course. Porn brings in more money than professional hockey, major league baseball, and NFL football combined. Anywhere there's money to be made you'll find people trying to get their piece of the pie. Porn's no different. Porn companies have a market that is hard wired by nature to want to indulge in their product.

SD: The very first issue of Playboy magazine said, “All sophisticated Playboys are interested in virginity.” Is this the reason why producers go after younger or fresh faces?

DP: There's a big market for innocence. It's very appealing to a certain segment of both men and women to be with a person who has never been with anyone else. Porn involving younger people creates that fantasy. Young, fresh faces were always popular, but in the latter years of my career "mature" women were becoming almost as popular. Some credit the movie American Pie for that. I think people go through phases. Notice I'm using the term "people" rather than "men". Porn isn't unique to men. More than 70% of women admit to using it, too - and that number is increasing. And just thinking back over the headlines in recent years about all the female school teachers who have been arrested for messing around with male students is a good indication that perverted sexuality isn't a male-only issue. Women are no longer being told, "Ladies don't act like this!" and are instead being told, "Why not?" The younger generations, in particular, are showing the results.

SD: You mentioned that you edited out things you did not want your audiences to see. What was edited out?

DP: Let's say a girl started crying on a set. While a small percentage of the population might find that appealing, I didn't want to put out that sort of work. That's one of the things I'd edit.

Another would be hygiene problems. Put it this way... baby wipes are a good thing to have sitting in every bathroom. Dry toilet paper doesn't truly clean a person.

Another thing... if certain STDs showed up on film, I'd take those out too... such as genital warts or a herpes outbreak. A large percentage of adult performers are affected by STDs of some sort.

Porn's not the glamorous fantasy most people get in their heads. The final cut never shows in the credits declarations such as, "This girl was curled up in a ball between takes, sucking her thumb in the corner because her mind is so blown by the scene you just witnessed" or "this model had to undergo surgery to repair the damage done to her body by the scene you just witnessed" or "this model had to do take after take to get the scene right... it took awhile before we could get her to convincingly look as if she was enjoying this, and she knew she wouldn't be paid if we couldn't get usable content".

By the way, those things in the last paragraph wouldn't keep happening if consumers weren't a reality. Supply and demand dictates that all of us, from producer to consumer, are needed to keep the cycle going.

SD: Why did you decide to quit being a porn producer?

DP: One of the biggest reasons I was in porn, besides the money, was hatred. I hated the church. I sometimes hated God. Porn was a way to vent that frustration on the world. Using that to fuel me, I'd justify what I was doing to people. I'd tell myself things like, "They're adults making adult decisions. They signed a model release. They were warned about what was coming." etc, etc. But the truth of the matter is that I still knew I wasn't having a positive effect on lives.

I met a missionary group called XXXChurch.com at a porn convention. Over the course of 4 years I watched them truly love people. I saw them inside our conventions telling people God loved them no matter what they'd done. They didn't condemn. They did crazy things like bringing in women to do makeup for porn stars, and while the girl was in their makeup chair they'd hear how much they were loved and be told there was someone to talk to if they needed to do so. I raged against them from time to time, but always received love as a response.

Those 4 years of interaction broke down my hatred. Because of that, I was able to take a better look at my life. Excuses didn't seem relevant anymore. I couldn't delude myself any longer. Other aspects of life started weighing on me more, making me see first hand what it was like to be on the other side of the camera. I just reached a place where I couldn't continue devastating lives.

On the day Playboy offered me an additional $4,000 a day to shoot a new series, I prayed to God, thanking Him for blessing me no matter what I did. He responded by physically touching me - a literally shocking experience that took my breath away. That touch seemed to say, "This is petty... I have so much more for you than this." After that September day I could no longer pick up a camera.

SD: Why are you opposed to censorship? Even free speech has its limits.

DP: What limits has God placed on human free will? And who are we to put ourselves above Him? He's given us the ability to do whatever we wish to do. There are consequences for our actions, but those actions are our decision. Censorship will never change hearts, and true change can only come from the heart. Love is the answer, not legislation. Showing people "why" they shouldn't do something is so much more effective than telling them they can't "because we said so".

SD: What would you say to those who might want to get involved in the world of adult entertainment?

DP: I'd tell them they're intelligent adults able to make their own decisions, but to be responsible they need to consider as much information as possible. Then I'd have them read a few articles on my blog such as this one:

http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2010/03/01/dear-johncmayer-re-producing-porn/

and this one:

http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2010/03/11/is-this-sexy/

because I think those two articles alone would give them a few things to think about that they've likely not considered before. Ultimately, a person needs to make their own choices. God Himself gave us that capability. He hopes we'll use our free will to choose Him, and I hope people use their free will to stay away from porn.

Pornography Undermines Our Humanity

2010-08-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Warning: This article has adult content.

Robert Jensen is a Professor of media law, ethics, and politics at the University of Texas at Austin and a feminist anti-pornography activist. Prof. Jensen is also the author of "Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity" Prof. Jensen talks to True Feminism about the pornographic war on women.

SD: How did you get involved in women’s studies?

RJ: When I went to graduate school in 1988, I was lucky to have a chance to read radical feminist work and meet feminists working to end men’s violence and the sexual exploitation of women. I realized that feminism not only creates for women a path to resist patriarchy, but also gives men a way to deal with the ways in which patriarchy undermines our humanity. Feminism offers men a chance to be fully human. I also realized that radical feminism’s struggle against male dominance was based on a deep critique of the hierarchy and domination/subordination dynamic that permeates society, especially along race, gender, and class lines. For me, it opened up a new way of understanding the world that made justice seem possible.

SD: If pornography is anti-woman, then what about the men who work in the sex industry?

RJ: The domination/subordination dynamic that defines the sexual-exploitation industries of pornography, stripping, and prostitution is rooted in men’s use and abuse of women. But that domination/subordination can play out in other kinds of relationships, such as in the gay male world. There are also men who perform in the heterosexual pornography industry, of course, but they are not the targets of the cruelty and degradation that is routinely directed at women.

SD: Prostitution advocates often claim that prostitution helps reduce the crime rate. Do you think this is true?

RJ: There’s no evidence of that, and it’s counter intuitive. So, I see no reason to accept the claim.

SD: How did you get involved in making “The Price of Pleasure”?

RJ: I had worked with the filmmakers on one of their previous projects. When they expressed interest in making a documentary on pornography, I was eager to help. There are few resources like this film available, and it has proved to be an important part of efforts to educate the public about the realities of the industry and the images it produces.

SD: Why do some feminists advocate prostitution and pornography?

RJ: I do not find their arguments about the liberating potential of pornography persuasive, and I think they typically avoid an honest assessment of the industry and the images it produces. I find the radical feminist critique of the sexual-exploitation industries to be a more compelling account of the world that I observe.

SD: How does pornography differ from sex?

RJ:Pornography is primarily a masturbation-facilitator for men. It’s one of the ways that men use women for sexual pleasure. It’s a mediated form of prostituted sex.

SD: Does adult pornography have an impact on child pornography?

RJ: The adult pornography industry is careful not to use minors in the production of their films. But they do produce films that present women who are over the age of 18 in child-like settings, with clothing and styles that evoke childhood -- what is sometimes called pseudo-child pornography. The classic examples would be a pornographic film that presents the women as students in a high school or babysitters. I don’t think we have enough evidence to know whether this cultivates in male users a desire for actual child pornography or sex with children, but there is reason for concern.

SD: Psychologist Sigmund Freud, in “Civilization and its discontents,” argued that all male aggression comes from sexual repression and it was the patriarchal family that places restrictions on male sexual activity. How can patriarchy then be the enemy?

RJ: Freud was wrong about some things, including this. The patriarchal family, which was devised by men, is a way to control women, not constrain men.

SD: How does capitalism contribute to pornography?

RJ: Capitalism is a predatory economic system that encourages exploitation, of people and the resources of the earth. Capitalism’s demand for profit undermines other values, such as respect, dignity, and equality. In a patriarchal society, it’s not surprising that profits can be generated by the sexual exploitation of women and that pornographers pursue those profits without concern for the consequences.

SD: What do you think of Playboy magazine?

RJ: Playboy sells objectified female bodies to men for sexual pleasure. It’s the soft end of the pornographic spectrum, but some women have told me that they think it is as destructive as the hardcore material that degrades women in overt ways; they believe that their male partners’ ideas of what makes a female body attractive are shaped by soft-core material like Playboy. Those perceptions can negatively affect relationships.

SD: How has pornography influenced mainstream media and television?

RJ: Mainstream pop culture is much more pornographic in recent years. The codes and conventions of pornography - the way pornography presents women sexually -find their way into the mainstream. More explicit and degrading sexual situations that look a lot like soft-core pornography are increasingly common in mainstream media.

SD: What advice would you offer men who view pornography?

RJ: Don’t. I think we men are much better off when we disconnect our sexuality from mediated images of explicit sex. Images that present women as sexual objects to be used for our pleasure undermine our ability to be fully human. Even if men don’t care about harm to women and children, we should abandon pornography for our own sake.

True Feminist for Africa

2010-08-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

Oakville’s Catherine Mulvale has Africa in her heart.

Mulvale visited Sheridan College in Ontario, Canada, to tell students about her trips to Africa and the non-profit work she does there.

Mulvale used to run her own business, when she was struck by a flesh eating disease that almost took her life. She had a 10 per cent chance of survival. This experience made her want to do something to help people with infectious diseases. Together with her husband Tom, Catherine organized a hike to Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. The funds she raised went to establish Strategies for Life, an organization that helps people cope with infectious diseases.

Aside from the rainforests and wild life in Africa, it was the orphans of Uganda that caught her attention. Mulvale met 12- year- old Anna, who told Catherine “I have no joy in my life.” Anna had AIDS. She woke up at sunrise, walked two hours to school, worked at a hotel, but was not paid.

Mulvale also met a girl who was not taking her anti-retroviral medication that kept HIV at bay, because her stepmother threw her medication in the hope that the girl would die, because she had four other children to look after.

Moved by the plight of these children, Mulvale came across Rafiki, a program for orphans in East Africa. Rafiki initially had 35 children, and two adults who looked after them. The orphans had many needs that were not being met. She returned to Canada, and started raising funds for Rafiki.

An art show in Oakville helped her raise funds for shelter, education, food, and medicine. Rafiki restored hope for more than 35 orphans, by building a school, a vocational program, and a well to supply them with three liters of water a day.

Catherine goes back to Africa every two years, with her husband Tom, and her two children, Jordanne and Zack.

Ride for Rafiki is a program in Canada that raises funds for orphans in Africa. Catherine still organizes hikes, the second one is planned for 2011.

There are an estimated 3 million orphans in Africa. Whenever Catherine Mulvale feels that she has not done enough for all of them, she remembers a guy called Michael she dated when she was 13. Michael told Catherine “You are going to do great things for the world.”

Does this make me look fat?

2010-08-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

One of the things to come out of third wave feminism and the sexual revolution are eating disorders.

Danielle’s Place is a non-profit organization that provides support services for eating disorders. Danielle’s Place was founded in memory of Danielle Mayeur, who passed away from anorexia in 2001. Danielle wanted a support group that would prevent other people from going through what she had gone through.

There are several warning signs that accompany an eating disorder.

An impulsive focus on healthy food and nutrition.
A sudden interest in reading food labels to check fat grams and calories.
Starting diets to lose weight or become healthier.
Skipping meals.
Lying about foods you’ve eaten, when they’ve been eaten and how much you’ve eaten.
Worrying about weight and being dissatisfied with how they look.
Drinking excessive amounts of water or liquid that have no calories (in order to feel full)
Poor concentration.

Four Levels of Communication In Sex and Relationships

2010-08-24T17:32:00.001-07:00

Level 1: Consumer – No Communication
I see you as an object which can give me (instant) physical pleasure.
I do not communicate with you. There is no respect, or self-respect, here. Sex is only entertainment.
e.g., porn, sex while high or drunk, masturbation, rape

Level 2: User – Functional Communication
We will use each other to achieve our goals.
We limit communication to exchanging consent about what bodily functions we will use with each other. This is still selfish: the other is dropped when they are no longer useful to me. This is also achievement oriented: the more sex with more people the better.
e.g., one night stands, sleeping around, promiscuity

Level 3: Helper – Communication about feelings
I want to help you to be happy.
Feelings alone don’t make a relationship. Commitment is left as an open question, so I hold back from you. The two people can never really know where they stand. When will the other break it off?
All relationships may go through this stage. People often think that they can use sex to create commitment. But it doesn’t work that way. In fact, commitment needs to come before that ultimate bond for it to be complete.
e.g., long term dating, living together

Level 4: True Self – Communication of my inner self
We bond spiritually. People of faith would say that God enters the relationship. We are committed beyond our feelings. This is true mutual self-giving.
All true happiness at the other levels has its source and end here.
This is the true place for sex. The couple can accept each other as potentially the mother or father of their children.
e.g. Marriage.

Source: Lifeteen