True Proverbs 31 Woman

Enough Is ENOUGH! My Testimony Of God’s Grace

2012-10-28T20:48:00.001-04:00

He impregnated me with his SEED… It penetrated me deeply. As the days passed it grew day by day until the birth pains were too much for me to bear. When I gave birth, I could not believe what had come out of me. Its reflection, my reflection was so far from what I imagined it would be…

A part of my testimony of God’s AWESOME protection and ability to renew and reconcile me to Him is the fact I was stalked online and offline; I understood what cyber bullying was way before it was given a name. I was verbally and mentally abused, placed in immediate physical danger, cheated on with both females and males (I learned later on) and financially went into debt because of my connection to my ex.

I met the embodiment of what used to my greatest temptation when I was 19. His seed was not that of the biological kind that had impregnated me. It was SIN…and its byproducts were words and thoughts of doubt, low self esteem, condemnation, self loathing and deceit. When I finally came to the knowledge of what had slowly been happening to me over a period of almost 10 years.… I feared I had lost a part of myself that I would never be able to regain. The true sense of who I am and my ability to trust and love another.

In some ways my soul had been so entwined with my ex’s, I could not tell, where I began and he ended. The root of it all was I was unequally yoked. I was saved, he wasn’t.

However, back then when I first met him, I was impressible and naive though I may have never had admitted it. At first I was just flattered by his advances. I had lived a very sheltered life and he was just my flesh’s type. What I mean he was tall, just shy of 6 ft, and very handsome.

At that age I had thing for “pretty bad boys”. Many girls my age had a thing for them. My ex was a textbook “pretty” with the fair skin and curly hair to boot. He favored two of my junior high through high school crushes, the singers Christopher Williams and Al B. Sure. Born in Haiti, but most people thought he was from the Dominican Republic. His Brooklyn accent had a hint of Caribbean to it. He was athletic, played football throughout high school and softball for his company team. You get the picture; he was fine by all appearances…
My ex however saw through my mask of vibrato and knew which buttons to push to increase my interest in him beyond the physical…

When we met he was working towards obtaining a degree in Business and also employed full time by a major corporation. Though he worked in production his charismatic personality and diligent work ethics were helping him to quickly climb his way up the ranks. His job was unionized and had benefits. By age 18 he had his own car, had moved out on his own; yet was still very close to his mother and his family. I thought I had hit the jack pot! I had always been very family oriented and wanted to be in a relationship with someone that felt the same way.

However from the jump I sensed something just was off. At “Hello” he was trying to get in my pants.

Before even meeting him face to face (he had found me online via an instant message program), I had told him in our communications, that I thought he was probably a player now or had been back in high school. He was a bit older than me at age 21.

He laughed it off and asked “Why did I think that?” classic player type response to avoid the obvious, that he was in fact a player! However, again as I said I was flattered and curious and didn’t see what harm it would be just to meet him once…

In the mid-90s meeting someone online was not as dicey as it is now. I have actually had some great experiences meeting individuals that had similar interests to me that I may have never met if it had not been for the internet. Individuals to this day I am still friends with after 10+ years.

Yet, as the old saying goes… “If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. It must be a duck.” My ex attempted to duck the fact he was a player.

He never officially asked me out. It was assumed that from the time we met I was his. My ex was very possessive towards me; though he was very secretive about his doings. I was an open book while he was always a mystery. I made the mistake early on to give him husband like privileges. From my body, to money to my actions he had a say. At one point during our relationship he actually lived with me while I paid in part both of our bills. In my mind I thought I was investing in a future with him. He painted a picture that we would be married sooner than later.

We actually broke up three times through out our history. The first should’ve been the last. He had left me stranded at one of his friend’s houses after we had, had our first encounter. I felt unsafe so I left in the middle of the night and was cussed out and call all kinds of names by him the next day. He made me feel like dirt.

It was about a year from that experience that he attempted to contact me again. This was just before my father passed away suddenly and so my ex had never gotten the opportunity to meet him. I have a feeling if my dad would have met him the same red flags I had felt he would have too. Though I know in my heart I was too far gone to even have listened to my father’s wisdom in the matter.

After my father’s passing in January 2001, I was so hungry for the need to feel secure again in a relationship, that I allowed my ex completely back into my life. I laugh at myself because I have always kept journals. Sometimes I am faithful in writing them daily and other times I have just picked one up when I needed to pour out my heart and went on an all out writer’s spree. When those times have come I have locked myself in a safe place with just my notebook and a pen and just cleared my head onto the pages.

When I go back to read my journals during this crucial time in my life I can see in them where my thoughts began to become directly influenced by my ex and how warped they had become…

Fast forwarding 7 years. I had been working in full time ministry for two years. My ex was actually the reason why I decided to look for my own home church after. He asked me one day when we were in the middle of disagreement the last time I had read my bible. I couldn’t recall. At that point I knew something was wrong. I started to look for a brook to get fed at again. Growing up my mother took me to a little neighborhood Baptist church. I never felt truly at home at it so, I knew I would not go back to it. I had since stopped back sliding with my ex. He no longer lived with me. I had cut him off financially. However, he still had ties to my heart…

To be continued…in Part Two.

Employing Angelic Protection

2012-08-08T19:14:00.001-04:00

The day before Oji and I were to be married, we were in a car accident. No fault of our own. No one was injured, Praise God! However, the event was jarring none, to say the least.

Our rental car only had minimal damage, and its repairs were fully covered with no strings attached by our insurance company.

The lesson that rung the loudest for both of us was the importance of employing divine protection…

Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

Psalms 91

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
²I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

³Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler^[^a^]
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
⁵You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
⁶Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

⁷A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
⁸Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

⁹Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
¹⁰No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
¹¹For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
¹²In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
¹³You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

¹⁴“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
¹⁵He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Six months earlier…

Shortly after, we confirmed our wedding date and venue; we also made the decision that we would rent a car and use that car as our primary means of transportation. By renting a car, we were able to keep a bundle of our travel and transportation costs down. We were also able to make our journey from downstate New York City to Niagara Falls, NY and Canada an intimate road trip for just the two of us.

Initially we thought we may have family accompany us up, but in the end, it was just God, Oji and Lela (Team G.O.A.L.) Prior to our trip we had not seen each other’s face for about six months! So we used the run up to reconnect, talk and also do some pit stops along the way visiting with family and friends before our wedding day.

Throughout our wedding planning process, we sought God’s knowledge and guidance and came in agreement with each other in prayer. Oji and I prayed about each aspect of our wedding coordination. We knew that our attitudes, the words we spoke and our actions would play crucial roles in how everything would turn out, and we did not want to restrict any benefit God was preparing for us in the end!

CRUNCH Time!

When the accident occurred we were only about a half hour away from Niagara Falls. We had watched for a few exits a trio of cars seemly racing each other in front of us. My now husband, the established highway driver provided additional space between us and the vehicles ahead just in case. That bit of wisdom saved us because the last of the three cars decided to make an illegal U-Turn before an exit. At seeing this Oji slowed down and applied the brakes. However, the car behind us tapped into our fender causing visible damage. CRUNCH!

As a Football coach, Oji has taken many a road trip to conduct scouting and attend games, so he knows how to handle himself behind the wheel.

After he checked, to make sure I was ok he went to assess the damage to our vehicle and the welfare of the other drivers. A third car had almost hit the one that hit us because of the quick break and ended up being an unbiased observer.

Though both Oji and my emotions were raised at the moment of the crash… I did immediately feel a sense of calmness and peace come over me. I remembered at that moment how we had employed divine protection and pled the blood of Jesus before each segment of our journey!

The devil knew that our marriage would be a threat to the kingdom of darkness and to him. That is why he attempted distraction us at some more than 24 hours before we would exchange our vows. It didn’t work though the experience; only strengthen our resolve in the knowledge of God’s infinite love for us and his protective power.

Who Is In The Driver’s Seat?

2012-07-21T19:16:00.000-04:00

I am learning that submission in marriage only works when you actually do it. And the “S” on my undergarments only stands for “Spanx”, not “Superwoman”. Now let me explain, I grew up in a household where my parents were separated for most of my life…

My father was there because I was one of those children that demanded you be involved in my life. To me my mother was a Superwoman. We didn’t have much financially. However, she always had a roof over our heads; kept a decent house and food in the fridge and clothing on our backs. She understood the importance of recycling before it became all the rage; from collecting cans to buying our clothing from Goodwill or the Salvation’s Army. She could stretch a dollar and save enough to help someone else in need.

My parents had unofficial agreement in regards to how they shared custody of me. I lived full-time with my mother. However on the weekends my time was split between my mother’s and my father’s. At age 7 or 8, after experiencing a couple of weekends when my father did not show up to pick me up; I decided to take the matter into my own little hands and journey using mass transit to where he was living to see him. My mother, father and I had taken the route several times, and so I was familiar with it. I also received my own little allowance so I knew how much the bus was and that I could afford it. At that time, NYC transit fare was under a dollar!

In essence because of my experiences when it was time for me to move out on my own; I honestly did not want to ask my parents for anything. They had already done so much I did not want to burden them. I had to come home early from school however due to a financial reason. That experience sealed the deal for me even more.

From that point on, I had been in the driver’s seat of my life. When I rededicated my life to Christ in 2004 I did relinquished the controls to Jesus, but just like everyone there are still times when I wanted to take the wheel back and ended up crashing and burning!

Now I am married and have gone through premarital counseling and understand the importance of submitting to my husband.

I married a man of God. So submitting to him is not difficult and I have already experienced some scenarios where when I did submit seemly impossible things became possible. On the flipside, I have also experienced when I was slow in my obedience or submitting all things to him all heck wanted to break lose!

Hey it’s only been less than 50 days since we were Wed I am still applying what I have learned!

So to answer the question above; who is in the driver’s seat in my relationship with my husband? He is. Yet God is in the driver’s seat in both our lives.

Team G.O.A.L. (God, Oji and Lela)

²²Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[b] ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV

Sexy is your OWN Spouse

2012-06-22T04:13:00.000-04:00

I have thought long and hard about what would be the topic of my first posting since getting married earlier this month. There were so many little funny and miraculous stories that I could have shared that led up to our covenant ceremony and the two weeks since. I know at some point I will share them. However, taking a moment to look at my husband as he sat at the computer and very casually displayed his ring finger sealed the deal for me. The man was just plain sexy! And YES I just had to tell him. There is something about a man that is confident in who he is and in Christ and has made the decision to share his life with another.

When my husband and I each said “I DO” we promised to forsake all others outside of God for the family we were to create. For us that moment was 3 years in the making. The knowledge I have that he first befriended me, pursued, courted and went through counseling so he could have a better understanding of how God wanted him to care for me; gave me his name to share and the honor to bare and raise his children; blesses me so much.

To me my spouse is the ultimate symbol of sexiness and YOURS should be to you too!

Martha, Martha, Martha, it’s time to sit your tail down.

2012-02-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

About three years ago, I blogged about a book I read called “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver. A sister-friend of mine highly recommended it to me. My friend, I will call her “Mary” for the purpose of this piece. Like the biblical figure to this day she exhibits characteristics that mirror that of Mary; the ultimate worshipper desiring only to lie at the Master’s feet and serve him in excellence with a pure heart.

To tell you the truth I don’t know who outside of the Holy Spirit could have motivated my modern day Mary to recommend this particular book to me. It was such an on time read. Just 6 months earlier I had been released from my last full-time ministry position and I had begun serving only three months after that again in volunteer ministry leadership. I was looking for new fulltime employment, working on writing my first book “Poetry of a Black Girl Volume One: The Darkness and the Light” and had begun a renewed platonic WORD based friendship with my now fiancé. A lot was happening in my world.

Taking the time out to read the book and other similar titles was really beneficial to my personal and spiritual development.

After I was released I began the process of getting my focus back on track and rediscovering God’s purpose for my life. One of the first books I actually picked up and read thoroughly was Joyce Meyer’s “Approval Addiction”. Next was a series of titles by Dr. John C. Maxwell “The Winning Attitude”, “The Difference Maker” and “Being a People Person”. I also began to read over some of my favorite books of the Bible in different translations, Samuel 1 and 2, Kings 1, Kings 2, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, Proverbs and 1 and 2 Corinthians. I rented Christian movies only from Netflix and dug deep in my personal message archives keeping on repeat messages on topics like Grace, Humility, Anger, gaining wisdom from God and dealing with emotions.

Looking back with hindsight I can honestly say at that particular time in my life, I felt as if I had something to prove; to myself, God and to all my haters. My haters were not actual people; they were feelings of failure, disappointment, shame and mistrust. Feelings I no longer wanted to have.

I was so hungry for the WORD. I was Martha reformed and what I desired more than anything was busying myself getting to know my Lord more.

© 2012 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Grace - (Video) TheSkitGuys.com

2011-12-06T11:49:00.001-05:00

God’s Chisel – Remastered (Video) – TheSkitGuys.com

2011-12-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

Man, You Need to Look UP!

2011-10-06T18:32:00.002-04:00

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

Recently I sat down and had a conversation with one of my dear friends about Men. It was not one of those stereotypical sessions where you have two girlfriends talking about guys and dogging them out. Trust me it was far from that scenario. We spoke of how important it is for men to see God as their ultimate source for how to love others unconditionally, to forgive and forget, to trust, to be an example of integrity, knowledge, wisdom and how quite simply provide for themselves and their families.

You see, God is the ultimate provider and father; when he created Man he fashioned him after himself. Man was created because God desired to have a family/people to commune, provide for and share his abundant kingdom with. Just like God, Man has that very same desire ingrained in him; to provide for those he cares for his own family.

In order for Man to be the true provider which he was created to be he has to be whole heartily in relationship with God. Without this relationship it will be near to impossible for him to be a true sustainer. When Man begins to trust in only what he creates of his own hands and things of this earth like money he is trusting in what is temporal. God is forever and will never lose value, dry up or spoil.

If there is no consistent communication between God and Man, the seeds of confusion can be planted and quickly take root and eventually bear fruit. Fruit like fear, lack, despair, depression, anger, and desperation on the side of man. God is confident in who he is. Man on the other hand until he is rooted and ground in the knowledge of God and his love will always try to make things happen out of his own abilities which are limited.

Man should never get this reality twisted. Man did not create God, God created Man. And when he did, he did so with a purpose in mind. Man was to be fruitful and multiple on this earth. He was to further God’s kingdom until it spread across all four corners of the globe; making a perfect copy of God’s kingdom in heaven on earth. Man was created to be the steward of this planet. Yet, when he disobeyed God’s commandment and did not take responsibility for his own actions, he created a communication break down.

First, he ate from the Tree of Life that God explicitly told him not to. Then he hid from God and lastly he blamed Eve who had not been given the commandment in the first place from God to obey. Man/Adam was the one that God ultimately held responsible for following the community / Garden of Eden, his rules. Here is where fear came on the scene and Man began instead of looking up for guidance from God, he began to look down and around himself to see how he could make things happen…

Man, you need to look UP!

CAPRICORN GROOVE: Her Story: A conversation with Memoirs of A Black Girl author Lela Jefferson.

2011-09-12T18:48:00.000-04:00

CAPRICORN GROOVE: Her Story: A conversation with Memoirs of A Black author Lela Jefferson It's finally here! I know I've been saying for months that I was going to post this interview as part of the Your Story Series...

Promote Reading: Share Books

2011-09-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

Promote Reading: Share Books

I found this article on how to promote book reading online and thought it was wonderful enough to share. I hope it moves you to action as it has myself!

Random Thoughts and Others Quotes

2011-08-10T06:21:00.001-04:00

Here are some of my random thoughts and other quotes I have posted on my favorite social media networks most recently:

Relationships

Remember to put first things first... 1) God 2) Family 3) Your Calling / Ministry.

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12

God’s Will

I know I am destined for greatness and my promotion comes from God... it’s my heritage and it’s in my pedigree as a child of the KING. I confess today I will faith it, and work it diligently till HE makes it.

I needed to take a day yesterday to shut it all down and slow it down. It ended up being a day of re-dedication.... God is moving and I want to make sure as I move with him that my steps are truly ordered by him vs. my flesh.

Reality Checks

It is so not about you. So, some person place or thing or YOU are agitating you. Good! Pass the test. Move on to the next level. How you react now WILL affect not only generations to come, but yours right now.

The desires of your heart God placed there. What you may be lusting after will never equal in comparison. Spoken by a delivered woman who God blessed with her own heart-tailored Boaz ;-)

Change is Good!

I am constantly changing... A good friend of mine asked my opinion on something yesterday and my reaction was not what she thought was my norm. In the past my answer would had been 'I really don't know about that...' My new response was 'Go for it if you have peace about it.' One response based in fear the other one based in confidence/peace...

When you start to see RED (emotional/fearful over a situation) is a clear sign you need to STOP pray, assess, conquer and then overcome. Relax; Relate and Release are good next steps...

I am still in personal evaluation mode. Here is a question I asked myself after a recent bible study... Whose character are you emulating? God's or Satan's? Did you know if you say you are going to do a thing and you don't do it... You are a liar? I guess that is where that childhood rant came from... "Liar, Liar pants on fire!"

Quotes

"EXCELLENCE is attention to detail, that gives rise to superior performance, which leads to promotion in life." -Dr. Bill Winston

Learn to settle down and be happy with what you have while the Lord is preparing you for something better - Joyce Meyer

“Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you till yours kicks in.” - Les Brown ... So why don't you believe in God's belief in you? His is the ONLY one that really matters l!

"My only competition is me in the past... Don't play me." – Prince

Not Mama

2011-05-27T21:21:00.002-04:00

Her hips sway …like Mama’s
Her smile shines bright,
There is even a twinkle in her eye… like Mama’s
You take a look longer than a glance
Just like you do with Mama
Did I just hear a word you told me was not ok to say…?
Starts with D…and ends with anyway…
I try with my innocent mind to figure out why
Your head twists each time a grown lady
Not Mama walks by
Did the hinge that holds your neck in place somehow loose a screw?
Or is this what all men do?
You are the model of what the man I will one day give my heart to be.
You are my first love daddy… I trust and watch all you do.
My first boyfriend I hope one day will be just like you.
So this thing you do… Looking at a woman…Not my Mama
Must be cool…yeah it must be cool!
Cuz it seems to be all you do, when Mama is not with you…
So when my own little girl comes to me just as confused as I am right now by her own daddy’s actions…
I will tell her baby “Hush now… that is just what daddies do!”
They look at women as objects… they lust after them like hungry dogs…
They don’t care what their own daughters see.
How their behavior affects me and you…
But baby… Fathers know the truth and Ol’ King David did too, however a little bit too late… Glancing at ladies that are not your Mama is not cool…actually its really weak…

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

What to Do When Quitting is Not an Option?–Part 1

2011-05-08T13:48:00.001-04:00

In 2006 there were a few factors that if I did not have a relationship (meaning a prayer life) with God I may have wanted to check out… nothing extreme like taking my own life. However if I could I would have just become invisible and just disappeared from the craziness of what was becoming my everyday routine. I had bouts with depression, my behavior and attitude changed, and not for the better. I was under a lot of pressure and more responsibilities than I would have cared to have. Yet quitting was not an option for me…

See, 2006 was the year my mother went home to be with the Lord. The job and career that I had successfully progressed in I no longer had a passion to do. In some ways my family was on the verge of falling apart and though I was the youngest I had to stand in place as if I was the eldest and make some life changing decisions. I felt as if I was back in time and was experiencing the emotions and happenings that I did when my dad past five years earlier. It was also the year that I was first offered an opportunity to work in fulltime ministry…

The big difference though the morning my mother passed I awoke for the first time with the unction to pray at 4AM first in the spirit for an hour and then in my natural language just to say…”God… no matter what people, places or things you must remove from my life in order for me to walk and be in your prefect will for it..I will not get angry with you, I so swear.”

Little did I know that promise I cried out to God in the wee hours of the morning on March 15, 2006 would be tested time and time again in the years to come…

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

“Uncommon” by Greg Long and Kristy Starling; theme song to Tony Dungy’s book by the same title.

2011-04-08T19:22:00.001-04:00

I recently finished reading Tony Dungy’s Bestselling book “Uncommon”, the sequel to his NY Times Best seller “Quiet Strength”. In doing some follow up research about Coach Dungy; I learned that the book actually had a wonderful theme song associated with it. Follow the link below to take a listen. I pray it inspires you as much as it inspired me.

Official theme song to Tony Dungy's book "Uncommon" - Greg Long and Kristy Starling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgFkYNtonZc&feature=autofb

Spiritual Vomit…Ewww… Clean up needed in aisle you!

2011-04-03T17:19:00.001-04:00

Psalm 45: 1 (Amplified) MY HEART overflows with a ^[a]goodly theme; I address my psalm to a King. My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

“Spiritual Vomit”!?!? What the heck is that you may be asking…? Does it sound gross to you? It should. The repercussions that come from not purging your soul, can cause you to have unexpected verbal accidents.

As I have been taught, man is a tri-part being he is a spirit that possesses a soul/heart (where his thinker, feeler, and chooser reside) and he has and lives in body. When we die in the physical our spirit man is separated from our flesh (our earth suit) and the decisions we made while we were alive affect where we end up living out eternity.

My spirit man, when I became born again was made new. However my soul/heart needs to be renewed daily. That means what I allow into its gates through my ears, my eyes, by what I touch and what comes out of my mouth must line up with the Word of God. This way my spirit and soul/heart can become on one accord. When they are not, the possibility for verbal accidents based in flesh to happen can seem unavoidable. For example, I have been called snappy on more than number of occasions, as it relates to my responses… snappy means briskly cold. Am I proud of it? No, it’s an area where I need to continue develop in. It’s an area where I can visualize my spirit man physically getting ill because it has to witness my soul/heart controlling how my body reacts to situations. Its base is fear…

Going back to the topic of this article, “Spiritual Vomit”; if you noticed above I made mention that our soul/heart is where our thinker, feeler, and chooser reside. So it is safe to say that if you think a certain way, and feel a certain way you will choose to do a certain action, right? Again hypothetically speaking, if I think on doing something for a while (mediate on it), I will begin to have strong feelings and eventually will choose to do it or because I have been mediating on it for so long, I will begin to act out on my thoughts by instinct. Think of a person that has learned to drive. After awhile the fact that in order to keep the car moving forward requires them to press their foot on the accelerator and hold onto the steering wheel to keep the car steady will become almost as instinctual as breathing.

The same can be said about a person and their attitudes towards others. If you think a particular way about a person, you will begin to feel also a particular way about them and so either way good, bad or indifferent will begin to treat them based on those feelings. When you see them your face may also read a different message to what you are actually saying. This scenario can also cause you to seem phony, not truthful to people because you are attempting to mask your feelings. I am not saying it’s ok either to go around telling people exactly how you truly feel, because it can be considered offensive. Depending on the delivery, the timing and the words you use… Trust me, I know. Choose your battles… However, I do recommend that you examine yourself before you react.

If you are not cautious with your words, you may even begin to make comments that reflect flesh based feelings. These little comments may seem accidental but are really what you are feeling in the city of your soul.

Usually what makes you angry is what you are afraid of. Or what annoys you, is what you have given power to trigger negative reactions from you. When my Pastor taught these two points a number of years ago it really hit home. What more than anything hit me is that I can choose how I react and what I react to. I have the ability to stop verbal slip ups from escaping my lips.

Now what are some of the repercussions of NOT purging your soul?

1) Lost relationships

2) Doors of opportunity being shut

3) Communication breakdown

Cheers to fewer clean ups in the aisle called you!

Reference Scriptures

John 6:63 (Amplified) It is the Spirit Who gives life [He is the Life-giver]; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever [there is no profit in it]. The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life.

Romans 8:1-7 (Amplified) ¹THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.^(A)

²For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.

³For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [^[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]. Sending His own Son in the guise of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh [^[b]subdued, overcame, ^[c]deprived it of its power over all who accept that sacrifice],^(B)

⁴So that the righteous and just requirement of the Law might be fully met in us who live and move not in the ways of the flesh but in the ways of the Spirit [our lives governed not by the standards and according to the dictates of the flesh, but controlled by the Holy Spirit].

⁵For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and ^[d]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and ^[e]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.

⁶Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that ^[f]comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].

⁷[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.

⁸So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.

What A (Virtuous) Woman!

2011-03-29T20:47:00.001-04:00

Proverbs 31:15-17 (Amplified Bible)

¹⁵She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.^(A)

¹⁶She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]

¹⁷She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.

Karen Clark Sheard - It's Not Over (Live)

2011-03-27T18:09:00.002-04:00

The song of testimony by Karen Clark-Sheard "It's Not Over" from her album with the same title is my praise and worship song of the moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsWVPNUHwd4

It’s Okay, God Already Knows

2011-03-27T17:01:00.001-04:00

So… you missed the mark. You sinned. You were disobedient to God’s will / His word. Now what? FYI Its okay, God already knows what you did. Will there be consequences? Sure there will be. It’s okay to go to him and talk about it and get the instruction on how to get back on track. God is God, he created you and he has given you a purpose to fulfill. But first you need to get over yourself… (YOU-R-SELF)… relax he is waiting for you; he has made an opening just for you in his busy schedule.

Psalm 32 (The Message)

A David Psalm

¹ Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start,
      your slate's wiped clean.
² Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
      and you're holding nothing back from him.
³ When I kept it all inside,
      my bones turned to powder,
      my words became daylong groans.
⁴ The pressure never let up;
      all the juices of my life dried up.
⁵ Then I let it all out;
      I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God."

   Suddenly the pressure was gone—
      my guilt dissolved,
      my sin disappeared.
⁶ These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
      when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
      we'll be on high ground, untouched.
⁷ God's my island hideaway,
      keeps danger far from the shore,
      throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.
⁸ Let me give you some good advice;
      I'm looking you in the eye
      and giving it to you straight:
⁹ "Don't be ornery like a horse or mule
      that needs bit and bridle
      to stay on track."
¹⁰ God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved
      every time they turn around.
¹¹ Celebrate God.
      Sing together—everyone!
      All you honest hearts, raise the roof!

Who is in Pursuit of Whom? And who are you Pursuing? – Christian Courting vs. Dating

2011-03-21T13:38:00.001-04:00

2 Corinthians 6:14 (The Message)

^14-18Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
   "I'll live in them, move into them;
      I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
   So leave the corruption and compromise;
      leave it for good," says God.
   "Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
      I want you all for myself.
   I'll be a Father to you;
      you'll be sons and daughters to me."
   The Word of the Master, God.

I will be the first one to tell you, when it comes to matters of the heart and romance in general I am not an expert. I can only speak from my own experiences. I can count my relationships actually on one hand. One of which lasted way beyond its prescribed expiration date, it had just been bad and personal pride and a genuine desire for me to see it work had me hold on and be in pursuit of what turned out to be an unhappily ever after. Putting that all aside for it is in my past…

As I have written about before I am a big opponent to the term dating when it comes at least to describing my own current relationship. Dating by loose definition has an expiration it certainly must end. Courting on the other hand has a purpose in mind from its beginning and eventually will bring the two people in that courtship into covenant with each other through matrimony. As I see it my Intended has been courting me since we reconnected almost 3 years ago. We were blessed to have a shared history, yes. He and I went to high school together, but that was really it. When we graduated we parted ways and at the time were just acquaintances.

So, oddly enough when fate reconnected us and we began working on establishing a friendship based on our common interest of wanting to grow in closer relationship with God. The thought that we would slowly but surely grow in love with each never crossed my mind. It just happened because at first I saw him just as my friend. A person I had fond memories of from high school and was enjoying getting to know.

All of us have heard the term that when getting to know someone it is important to have “lengthy conversations”. To tell you the truth, the advice should really be given to have “lengthy quality conversations.” Relationships that are meant to last require substance God’s word is the best.

Whether you are “dating” or enjoying a courtship just remember to always check to whom you are pursuing and who is in pursuit of whom…

Matthew 6:33 (The Message)

^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Lessons from Iniquity …Bring Deliverance to a Broken Generation

2011-03-20T22:17:00.001-04:00

Exodus 34:9 (Amplified Bible)

⁹And he said, If now I have found favor and loving-kindness in Your sight, O Lord, let the Lord, I pray You, go in the midst of us, although it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for Your inheritance.

Did you know a generational curse can be broken and become a generational lesson...? How? If it is received by a teachable heart, humble spirit, which is also willing to make sacrifices and make, changes by faith for the better.

The other day as I was entering my apartment building I was confronted with something that I had wished I hadn’t. Yet, it brought me to the point where I felt compelled to write this article. What I saw was a young girl, the daughter of one of one of my childhood playmates clearly pregnant. The reason why I wish I had not seen it was because just a generation ago, her mother had been in her shoes; under 18 and pregnant with her. Just like her mother, she was very beautiful, popular and book smart. However, again just like her mother, she had let temptations win the battle to bring her to her present state underage and having a baby out of wedlock. To be very frank, she could have been my own daughter, had I made different decisions.

My mother too had become pregnant before she turned 18 and before she was married. Not with me but with one of my siblings our ages span a difference of almost 30 years. Unlike my friend though my mother who was born in the late 1930s; grew up in foster care because of my grandmother’s early death and my grandfather’s inability to take care of his 5 children on his own. He was an alcoholic, and a World War II veteran that had his own demons. When he married my grandmother her family had disowned her. She had come from a prominent family in Barbados and my grandfather was a half black half Native American service man from Virginia.

Due to my immediate family strong influence and their desire not to see me repeat their own iniquities, instead of condemning her, I felt in my own way I needed to empower her. I find that too many times we look at how we meet a person or see them in their present state and typecast them in a sense cursing them. What I wanted to do was envision her future as bright as it could be.

For it is not my place to judge nor did I want to; in my heart and under my breathe I began to pray. First interceding that the strain of sin that seemed to still be active in her family to stop and also let loose a blessing that her child and her would finally learn the lesson and become the generations to be delivered, healed and restored from iniquity.

It only takes a generation to make a difference, and change the course of a family; you can be that generation.

Bloom Where You Are

2011-03-14T19:56:00.001-04:00

A lot of times we make the mistake to want to run from our challenges when presented by them; rather than allowing our challenges to prune us so we can bloom where we are. For the last few weeks and especially today, I felt pressure from many different fronts. However, I also know this is a season that I am preparing for rain… an outpouring of immeasurable favor from God. He has already shown me in his Word and in his actions that he loves me and favors me. Yet, I know by following his will I should always be in a state of expectancy. I just need to do my part and continue to bloom where I am.

Mr. Bridges’ message from the movie “Facing the Giants”.

Forget About Yourself – Cornerstone Scripture 2011 Attitude Adjustment Plan

2011-03-12T08:36:00.001-05:00

Matthew 10:29-42 (The Message)

Forget About Yourself

^29-31"What's the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries.

^32-33"Stand up for me against world opinion and I'll stand up for you before my Father in heaven. If you turn tail and run, do you think I'll cover for you?

^34-37"Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me.

^38-39"If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.

^40-42"We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God's messenger. Accepting someone's help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I've called you into, but don't be overwhelmed by it. It's best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won't lose out on a thing."

Constant He Who Never Changes

2011-03-06T19:51:00.001-05:00

“My loves, remember through all you have gone through… He has been your constant. He has never changed. People have come and gone, but your foundation because it is firmly grounded in him, you have always been able to return to. He has never left you, or forsaken you. Though situations may have seemed crazy at times, in the end when His Will / His Word has been obeyed.. The evidence of how much he loves you has been revealed. When you are weak, he is strong. Always remember WHO is your constant… in the beginning was God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost and so it will be in the ever after.” © 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.

VaShawn Mitchell - Nobody Greater

2011-02-11T19:50:00.001-05:00

Darwin Hobbs sings CHAMPION new 2010

2011-02-11T19:49:00.000-05:00