Coach's Corner

It's Not In My Blood

2018-05-17T22:49:00.000-04:00

It’s been a long time and I have so much more to talk about because there is so much going in the world but because May is Mental Health Awareness Month I wanted to touch on the issue. You all know that I love music, so when I heard this song by Shawn Mendes it immediately spoke to me.

If you know me or follow then you know that I lost my mother when I was 14 years old and honestly it is a wound that never heals. I endure but I miss her daily. But on top of that me and my mother has other issues; my father said we are so much alike that we repelled each other. Nevertheless, my mother passed away and I felt guilty and hurt but I never had time to truly process that pain. In most black family, we endure “God never gives us more than we handle” and we push on. But the pain doesn’t go away it just fest almost like a smoldering volcano. So, my life went and I had some great accomplishment but I also had some tragic lows. In, my senior year of high school about two weeks before spring break I had a very bad asthma attack, I almost died although a traumatic event that left me hurt and did I mention my mother also passed from an asthma attack. Again, I just buried the pain and kept on living

So, we are going to take those two tragic moments, with life, and my own insecurities that I also never addressed. I was carrying around a lot of baggage and in 2012, my body gave out. I was too tired to carry the baggage, I remember sitting in the house for three consecutive days, I didn’t go to work, I didn’t really speak with people and I just kept thinking to myself “I am so tired, I don’t how much more I can take”, “I am not happy” on the night of the third day something in me snapped and I remember waking up and saying “I need help “. I drove myself to Bon Secour and admitted myself. I stayed there for seven days and I honestly believe that if I hadn’t of went I would not be here today because I was in a really dark place.

So, after giving you my background I am going to give you a few tidbits to help you:

· Getting help doesn’t make you WEAK

o That stigma that asking for help is weakness is BS because you have to be a very strong person to place your ego and pride to the side and say: “What I am doing is not working, I need help”

· Getting professional help does not mean your FAITH is weak

o This was something I had to overcome, but God works through all people, that counselor you go and speak maybe your answered prayer.

· It doesn’t happen overnight

o Mental healthiness is always an ongoing process so do not get discouraged, you are sill going to have bad days you just will be better equipped to deal with them

· Embrace your “Crazy”

o Don’t let people label you we all have some type of mental quirk embrace it and work on improving your life

· Choose YOU

o Nothing or No one in your life can give you joy only you can do that. It is not SELFISH it is SELF CARE

I am going to leave that right there for you, as always if you need me I am just email or DM away. You can also schedule your FREE coaching session.

I don’t need you to love me ....

2018-02-04T18:42:00.002-05:00

To love oneself without conditions is the hardest thing for most people to deal with. I was one of those people until 2016, i stripped myself down to my essence then allowed God to build me back up. It is still a battle but i have accepted the things in me i can’t change and i change the things i can. I fell in love with me and not until then can i truly accept the love from others.

Not until i started loving myself did i began to live my best life. So I’m spreading the message of self-love it’s the only way to true peace.

** i don’t own the rights to this music***

Sex With Me ...

2017-08-17T19:00:00.000-04:00

So, as social experiment on Tuesdays I allowed all of my followers on Instagram (@trcoaching) to slide into in my DM's and I got about fifty amazing questions. I got about six questions that revolved around the topic of sex. If you have read any my prior post then you know that I am all about relating topics to my real life. I don't speak a lot about sex because at the times I did not know how to approach the topics without giving away too much or having you guys giving me side eyes. But through much deliberation I will start sprinkling more sex and intimacy throughout my post like I am doing today.

The Cover is by Asia Major (YouTube Channel : TheAsiaMajor

One of the questions I received on Tuesday asked " What makes good sex, great sex and what kind of lover are you ?

I don't think a person can honestly answer what kind of lover that they are because they can only experience what they feel but not what the other person is feeling. I would assume that love making is identical to my how I love and that is with all that I am. LOL

When it comes to my opinion ( this is not the gospel) there are three things that can make good sex and GREAT EXCUSRION ...

1. Physical Attraction : I think this the first indicator that you may be having a goodnight when the mere sight of the other person makes your mouth water. Some people have a type for me example I like me men chocolate, thick and at least 5'9 or better ( I am only 5'4)

2. Setting : Great sex is almost like a great story if the setting is not right then it can throw the entire story the same thing for sex. If you are rushed for time, cramped and uncomfortable. I am not saying you can't have great sex in car but just make sure that car has plenty of space and you not looking at the front door to see if your peoples are coming out.

3. Mental Connection : To me there is nothing worse then when you see someone who approach looking like snack and then open their mouth and you instantly loose your appetite. I love a man who carry a conversation, who can make me laugh and it be real. A person who aura matches your own will give you a GREAT night.

These are just my tidbits but keep in mine that not every sexual encounter is different for those are people who are looking for a physical release because truth is sex is a stress reliever. Just make sure are practicing safe sex.

What Side of the Bed Did You Wake On??

2017-08-10T20:08:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love the lifehack,org website because it is just a wealth of motivation and resources especially for someone in my profession. One thing I have been addressing a lot with my clients is how you start you day. I know there are a lot of people who don't understand the importance of your morning routine impacts your entire day. Simply, how you start is how you finish,

I have picked a few morning routines that I use to turn my Blah day into a Blessed day.

1. Meditate/Pray for at least 15 mins : The first think I do when I open my eyes I thank God for the day, I pray for peace, patience and strength. I stay in silence allow God to give me my directions for the day.

2. 20 min Walk or Workout : Either or a mix of both helps me to distress from anything that I held on to from the prior day and it also gets my blood pumping.

3. Plan your day : Check you to do list and look at your calendar to make sure that you are properly prepared all that you have to do throughout the day.

4. Eat Breakfast : No car runs without fuel and neither can you whether it be at home or with a group of friends enjoy a healthy but hearty morning meal.

5. Speak and Smile : You never know who you might meet or who you might be a blessing or connection to your next level in life, You also never know who you might be a blessing to. A simple hello and smile can spark a conversation that might be what you need to pursue a dream deferred or it could save someone who could have been thinking to end it all.

These are just a few that I practice you are more than welcome to remix and add your own. Just start Strong and you finish even stronger.

Coach Destiny

Wins and Losses

2017-07-27T20:00:00.000-04:00

Wins and Losses

Okay before I even get into this purpose of this blog, I am about to give a shameless plug for one of my favorite rappers Meek Mill’s new album is FIRE I mean in my opinion he has 17 hits on this album. I love an artist who grows with his music and you can honestly hear the growth. Also, if you follow Meek or heard some of his recent interviews then you can hear how he has grown. And of course, he gives you that Meek Mill energy that gives you the instant burst energy.

Okay now let’s get down to business, after listening to Meek Mill’s album all weekend it inspired me but also gave me time to reflect on my life and all the things in my life all the wins and losses and this is what lead me to this post,

1. DON’T BE AFRAID TO CELEBRATE YOUR WIN: I know I use to think that if you celebrate your success and accomplishments then you were somehow being arrogant but as I have grown that not celebrating a win is truly a loss because you are saying that you don’t appreciate the small achievements. You will never get to the penthouse if you don’t first walk through the lobby.

2. BECOME YOUR OWN #1 FAN: At times we miss our wins in life because we are waiting for someone to come a congratulate us or for someone else to announce our success. Become the president of your own fan club.

3. DON’T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF: Most people suffer from the worse setbacks because they as old folks say “smelling themselves “that is when the problem starts because we get lost in the hype that we forget to remain humble.

4. STAY IN YOUR LANE: this does not really need in further explanation its simple your life was designed for you even if there is a million-people doing the same thing you are doing there is only you, TRUST IN THE GIFTS GOD GAVE YOU.

5. THERE IS NO SUCH A LOSS: There are only lessons in life the option is your if you choose to learn and do better and continue to fail.

That’s all I really got for you team again you can follow me on Instagram at trcoaching and I am still accepting new clients for life coaching and business coaching so email or call me to schedule your FREE appointment.

For Everybody

2017-07-20T20:01:00.000-04:00

This post was a special request from one of my followers. If you are not familiar with this song by Kash Doll I suggest that you listen before we jump into this blog. I actually like this song mainly because when I listen to it I can hear myself on both sides of the conversation. It is almost like the older arguing with the younger me. If we are honest as women we can say that at some point even if we didn't act on we have been both sides of this story both knowingly and unknowingly.

Although, I could take this song and the underlying topics in this song I decided to give my ladies work because I have already spoke so much on side chicks versus wives. I decided to take a different route and give the ladies some tell tell signs to show if your man is " FOR EVERYBODY"

1. If when you ask him where yall stand he tells you " What's understood does not have to be explained " , that is a nice way that says I am not really ready for relationship but when I am you are in top five list.

2. If he only see you in time specific times but he has no job , meaning you never see him before 8pm and when you ask him he is always busy.

3. He phone is locked up tighter than fort Knox and he never leaves it unattended, I don't believe that couple should go through each others phone but I do think you should be able to leave your phone around your significant other.

4. Mysterious emergencies when yall are together and something comes up, or he has to go handle something but cant elaborate with you or allow you to go with him.

5. You have to question yourself or him about the status of your relationship. This is very important even if he is not for everybody but he might not just be for you

These are just a few tips but always beware of the signs love is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship if you can trust, communicate, or commit to the one you are with then you may still for everybody until you find the right somebody,

Kill Destiny

2017-07-12T19:00:00.000-04:00

Hey Team :

You all know how much I love music so you should know i was here for this entire Jay Z 4:44 album I mean I could literally blog about every single song because of the significance of the music. Jay Z's latest album is not for entertainment but for enlightenment so only the truly mature can relate. NO SHADE LOL !!

So the first track on the album is called Kill Jay-Z and the entire song is about a battle between Ego and self this battle is something exist in all of us. In 2016 i made my fist conscious decision to actively engage in walking my purpose which meant that in order to become the best version of myself then i had to first kill the old me. We all have things in our lives that we need to let go or kill so i have a three major things that in order to truly live your best life.

1. EGO : This has got to go it will only get in your way. Your ego will tell you not to ask for help even when your drowning. We all have short comings we have to accept we are are not perfect

2. ENVY : One of the main reason why people can not get ahead in life is because we are too busy looking at the lives others. You can stay in your lane if you to busy watching the cars around you.

3. PRIDE : Pride is a purpose killer because it makes you believe that you have all the answers when you don't. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.

In order to live your best life you have to check yourself , there is no problem with being confident or even a little arrogant as long as you remain humble. Stay true to yourself and don't let society dictate to you who you are. The time is now to have a funeral for the PERCEPTION of who you should be and breath life into the REALITY of who you are.

Love You Team

Get Out of Your Way …

2017-05-21T20:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Sunday Team:

I trust that everyone had a very productive week and if not I want to share a few steps that you need to overcomer to get out of your way and push towards your purpose and prosperity.

1) Worry or Pray but you can’t do both: Stop worrying about things that you cannot change and focus on the things that you can. Give your worries to higher power and trust in the path that is laid out for you.

2) Be Accountable: Stop blaming other people for where you are in life because at the end of the day our decisions put us where we are but we have a choice to learn and progress or complain and stay where we are.

3) Be realistic: Stop expecting perfection from others when you are not perfect. You cannot expect what you don’t project.

4) Remove CAN’T from your vocabulary: No further explanation is needed just do it

5) Stop Making an ASS of you: Stop assuming and jumping to conclusions. If you want to know something then ask and if you are not mature enough to handle the answer then be mindful of what you are asking

6) WORK NOW: stop putting off tomorrow what she has been done yesterday. Procrastination is something we all suffer from so take the extra steps to get the job done NOW

So, I want you to incorporate these tools into your daily life. So, if you didn’t have a productive week last remember today is a fresh start.

Email me thecoachdestiny@gmail.comor set an appointment truerevelationscoaching@gmail.com

The Glow Up

2017-05-15T23:55:00.000-04:00

Although I know she does not need my shameless I am telling you that if you have not heard Mary J’s new album, Strength of Woman. Then you need to listen and take notes because that album stays on repeat I must listen to it at least every other day. But that leads me to the one of my favorite song “Glow Up”. If you have ever been in relationship and the break up was not very amical then you know about the “Glow Up” that need show your ex what they have missing that the grass is not greener on the other side per se.

I am by no means anti glow up but I feel that it can lead you down two paths if you are mental is not right. It can lead to growing up and becoming better or it can lead to self-destruction and I am here to show the path to latter. These are few ways to make sure that your GLOW up doesn’t BLOW in your face.

1. Self-Love don’t Self Loathe: I know the first thing we do when we break up is ask “What is wrong with us “but truth nothing is wrong with you but we are all flawed and perfection does not exist, so instead ask “What can do to love me better?”

2. Fix what you can and embrace what you can’t: We have something we want to fix like I want a smaller frame in which we can easily change dieting and exercise but also want to be five inches taller but I know that I done growing so I have embraced my 5’3 frame

3. Don’t let it be about them: Whenever and if ever you make changes in your life make sure that you are making them for you or else they won’t stick. No one should control your happiness but you

4. Let it go: Do I really need to elaborate on this

5. Trust God’s Plan and His Timing: if you don’t believe in God then whatever you higher power then trust that where you are and what you are going through is all part of their plan and that person where with was just a part of the process learns and keep living

That’s all I got but if you need to schedule an appointment or just have an issue or topic you want me to address then email me at truerevelationscoaching@gmail.comor thecoachdestiny@gmail.com

Coach Destiny

Missing You

2017-05-15T23:11:00.001-04:00

This is by far the hardest thing I must write in a while but the only way to get through is to go through. So here I go Mother’s Day this year was the hardest. You may ask how your mother has been dead for 18 years now but it still hurts but this year was different because my paternal grandmother wasn’t here. It was like a double heart break and although I spent the day with my maternal grandma my heart was still aching. I have tried since she passed away to cope to implement the tools she instilled in me on how to deal with death. Never question God and I haven’t. Trust God’s word and I have. My grandma taught me so many lessons, she has so much faith in me, in family but the one thing she never taught me was how to live with her.

When she passed away I asked the question, “How do you heal your hurt, when your hero dies?” I wish I had answer but I don’t and have been slowly spiraling that has come to a silent but emotional head on Mother’s Day. I have going to through the motions in slow motion in my mind and not truly not wanting to move because I don’t want to come to the realization that she was no longer with me. My grandma always had a calming effect on me, she was always knowing I never had to say anything or express myself she just knew and being in her presence gave me peace. Although, she will apart me I just couldn’t give up that peace until I looked at life.

She wouldn’t be happy with me, I am living a half-life and although I know that I will forever be missing in her I must make peace with it and let her truly peace. It hurts like hell but now there is nothing left for me to do but say see you later Grandma and tell my momma I love and miss her too.

Whispers In the Dark : The Intro

2017-05-04T23:23:00.001-04:00

Whispers in the dark is my new podcast that will be posted every Thursday at 9pm est. This podcast will be very different because not only will i be giving you a no ho'ds barred life lessons like always but i will be sharing my journey. 2016 was indeed my best and worst year but this podcast chronicles how i turned my tragedy into triumph.

Defnition of a Ridah

2017-05-01T22:02:00.000-04:00

So, look I had to address this subject matter because it is something that I hear so often but I don’t people understand the origin or true meaning of the word.

A Ridah as defined by the Urban Dictionary is an individual that is down for whatever, this person is fearless, a Ridah would go to great lengths to achieve their goals, missions, or objective and nothing will stand in their way. A girl who is in it for the long run no matter what. Nothing in that definition states that a Ridah is blind, dumb, stupid or a pushover. Ladies or gentleman allowing your partner to use and abuse your trust and loyalty does not make you a ride it makes you a fool.

Also, some people confuse a Ridah with a passenger so let me break it down for you.

A Ridah will be there for pushing you to be your best

A passenger will push you in order to get the best that they can get from you

A Ridah will defend you public and check you private

A passenger will will only defend it it protects there interest

A Ridah will feed you

A passenger will eat in your face

A Ridah know all your secrets and will hold them until their last breath

A passenger will sell them to the highest bidder

If you truly want to know if your team is full of Ridahs or passengers it’s simple.. DO NOTHING. A Ridah will push, probe, and pull to see what the issue is. A Ridah will feed you to nourish your mind, body and soul. A Ridah will allow you to live off of their life force in order to revive your own. A passenger will LEAVE!!

Set your appointment by email truetevelationscoaching @gmail.com or thecoachdestiny@gmail.com

Never Will Say Goodbye

2017-04-27T22:41:00.000-04:00

18 years ago today I lost the woman who gave me life ,the person I ever loved. Rest Easy Ma

After eighteen years, I thought it would be easier, the pain would be a little easier to bare, but eighteen years later I still find myself peeking through the blinds at five hoping your car is out there, some days the pain is so much that it knocks me off my feet, other days I find myself reminiscing on the memories of you until I lull myself to sleep,

Every year on this day I find myself stuck in time, replaying those days event trying to figure out how to get to you in time, it took me a long-time deal with my grief and to stop being angry with the man above because although your body was dead and gone I will still surrounded by your love.

I look at my siblings and see you, find ourselves saying some of the crazy shit you use to say, our mouths are so much like yours, we go from zero to one hundred quick, crazy work ethic, and unapologetic swag yeah everyone knows we are Iris’s kids. We all miss you in our own way and we deal with your death in our way but I am choosing now to just say some of things I never get a chance to say,

Ma, you were always a queen to me so majestic, so in tune everywhere you went you walked in like you owned the room, your personality was magnetic you attracted all kind of folks but your best times where with your family in the living room eating and cracking jokes. You were the definition of elegance whether dressed up or dressed down in a sweat in and Tee. No words could every express how much you mean to me. I want to say it get easier with time that would just be a lie, I may learn to get along with you but never will ever say goodbye.

Love Thyself

2017-04-23T19:52:00.001-04:00

It’s been awhile not that I have not have anything to say but I literally have not had to time to sit down and but my thoughts into words. There is a difference from being busy and working and I have been working trying to create some new opportunities for myself and the ones that I love but there is neither here or there. I am back with an arsenal of issues for us discuss. If there is a topic or an issue you would like for me to address please feel free to send it to me thecoachdestiny@gmail.com

So, todays topic is all about Self- Love because I feel that is something that is missing in the world. I have experienced people who are selfish but they don’t love themselves they just guard themselves with materialistic items to make them feel complete. I see people who a searching for love in all the wrong places and people because they are know they are missing it but not knowing that the love they seek comes from within.

I like most people confused things with love and I thought because I brought myself nice things that somehow translated to how much I love myself. Truth be told I just truly fell in love with Destiny like a year ago I mean the real Destiny. I respected myself and I did what I thought was needed for my family and I liked me but I didn’t love me. Insecurity flourishes when the light of love is not present. That was a year ago and some days I still battle with self-love

These are a few tips that I use daily to stay in love with myself ….

1. Change the things that you can change and ACCEPT what you can’t: I know it is easier said than done but everyone has there on unique set of traits and some you can enhance and other you cannot. I don’t like my weight so I can eat healthier and exercise however I know that I will not look good skinny so I choose a size healthy over a size three. I also can’t change my height and I am not a fan of heels so I accept my short stature.

2. Make yourself a PRIORITY: I not saying become selfish but what I am saying is make yourself priority in your life. Stop allowing the lives of others, work, family or whatever to consume you. We all have our own bags to carry in life but trying to carry someone else’s on top of your own will cripple you.

3. Say NO: I use to have the biggest problem with this until I looked at how many opportunities I missed because I didn’t say NO to someone or how many times I was placed in an uncomfortable position because I couldn’t say no. NO is not a bad word and sometimes it is needed but people who love you don’t mind the NO and the ones who mind don’t love you.

4. Connect with your higher power: Now we all know that I believe in GOD but I can’t make you believe over the past year I have been trying and struggling to build my own relationship with him and it has been hard because I am still in an internal battle but his no hold barred love keeps me as he reveals to me daily the power of his love and mercy

5. Don’t follow the Standard become the Standard: I am going to leave this for you to interpret how you choose but what I will say is that everyone has something to offer the world but you must believe that no one is more than what you are.

Thanks for stepping into the Coach’s Corner I will see you guys next Sunday, same time and same place. Make sure you are following me on social media @trcoaching and @coach_destiny .

Shirt can be purchased online at www.brandedinc.bigcartel.com

HAPPY NEW YOU !!!

2017-01-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

Before we even being I want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR TEAM. I know that with faith and hard work that we can all walk in out purpose that will lead to prosperity.
So, now that the pleasantries out of the way and we are five days in the New Year's. How are you feeling? Have you over looked 2016, did you reach any of your goals? Do you feel like 2016 was good year for you? Would have you done anything differently or nah? I always challenge all of my clients to evaluate not to see where you fall short but to ask yourself why you fell short? For example if you goal was to simply loose weight you may have lost ten pounds and then gained twenty more. Did you not accomplish you goal because you did the loose the weight but you didn't maintain the
weight loss.

These are a few tools that i have implemented with my clients when it come creating goals and you can utilize the same tools to create achievable resolutions for 2017..

Know what you want and why you want it ?

In order to create reachable goals you have to first know what you are reaching for and why and you have to be honest with your why. For example : I started my journey to better living last year but this year i have a goal to loose 60 lbs and maintain by August 2017 because i am going to Miami and i want to look good in my bathing suit.

Be Realistic

This should not need further explanation but just know you cant become a millionaire and you don't even have a job business, or nothing bringing in income,

Make your goal measurable ?

You have to be able to weigh your goal against something tn order to know you are going in the right direction.

Don't be afraid to reevaluate or change directions

The worse thing you can do is to continue on a dead end road. take the time to reevaluate your goals often and if you have veered off then stop and change directions.

Reward your milestone

each time you hit a mile stone then you should reward yourself but you should also discipline yourself when you don't

Get an accountability Partner

Someone who believe in your vision and also is comfortable enough to be honest with you when you are slipping

Celebrate your success

when you achieve your goals you should always celebrate

Tru Destiny

2016-12-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

When I tell you that music imitates life when I first heard this song by Lloyd I fell in love with it because it described how I was feeling because over the last year in a half I have been in state of reconstruction and in that state I lost a lot. I mean at times I felt like I was on the verge of losing my mind but what I discovered was worth the eternal war that waged.

When I decided in 2013-2014 that I decided to embark on facet and “Coach Destiny” was created and it opened a lot of avenues for me and my brand. I was always into life coaching and helping people so that part of me has always been but if you have followed me then you know that I growing up I dealt with a lot a insecurities as well so actually allowing myself and image was very foreign to me. My cousin presented an opportunity to be apart of online radio show “Catching the Scoop” which introduced me to a whole new audience of people and that along with social media my brand also expanded. Within that I created a lot of important contacts but this was also my developmental stages. For whatever reasons, we decided to go our separate ways and some people mentioned that I never acknowledged it and never felt the need to because no matter I am very appreciative for the experience and the opportunity and I love my cousin with all that I am.

This song resonates so much in my life because I have finally accepted my purpose and I have my place and my purpose in life. I have several different ventures in the works but I know now that the reason why I was unable to move forward was because I was to busy looking behind me. The perception of what I should be doing and where I should be at clouded my vision. So like Lloyd states in this song I had to find a new approach to on old dream and although the road has been long and tumultuous. It has come together.

So, thanks team for rocking with me and I apologize if I ever let you down but I promise your support does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Coach Destiny

Greater is Here

2016-11-03T21:27:00.000-04:00

I woke up at 4am on November 1^st and something in my spirit was stirred. I was emotional woke up crying but for the life of me I could not tell you the cause of the tears. I was not in pain, I was not angry but my I was unsettled and I could not fathom what was happening. However, like I always do I pressed on with my day then I got a notification from Facebook, you know the one when they show your memories from that day and two years ago my status was about how much pain and uncertainty I was in about my life and I was tired. I read and disregard it until I got a call later that night from my love and it clicked.

On, New Year’s Eve I sat in the audience at St. Paul’s watch night service and my life changed. I decided to become the person I was created to be. I was no longer settling and I was going to follow my heart and take a faith walk. The naïve me wanted to know to believe that my struggle would come to cease with that declaration but it was just the opposite. From January until June I went through a fleshly purge I lost every materialistic thing that I held dear, the job that hated but was paying my bills, I even had to step away from people who I loved but once I was stripped to just my faith and fear then It came the war. My faith one and the God in me emerged powerful and strong. I look in the mirror and I can see the change in me, I more confident, more content and I have joy. Crazy thing is I have been spending this time from June until Now trying to find my footing rebuilding my foundation.

I say all this to come to this discovery, the reason why my soul was out of whack because it was hungry. I have so much work to do and so much to contribute to the world that my soul is literally forcing me into action. 2015 was my shaking I spent that whole year rocking from who I am and what the world said I was, From January of 2016 until June of 2016 I went through my beating and showed me how strong and humble I truly was, From June until now my soul has been going through a pressing, preparing me to walk my faith in my truest form of myself,

The reason why my soul was restless was because my GREATER IS HERE and now it’s time for me to embrace all of who I am.

I really don’t know who I am supposed to reach with this post but I do know that I am meant let you know that you are an amazing child of GOD and give yourself to him, it will not be easy, matter of fact it will be the hardest task that you will ever have to do but it will be worth it.

Convenient Vs. Committed … Pussy that is

2016-09-25T21:05:00.000-04:00

I know the title alone got yall minds wondering where in the hell is she going to go with this topic. But yesterday I had a very long conversation with my brother, oh how I love my brothers all of them because they give me so much insight into the savage male brains, yeah ladies I am telling you that all my brothers are straight savages… but the question remains

Are you in a committed relationship or Are You Convenient Pussy?

It is amazing to me that how some women who pride themselves in being “Bad Bitches” don’t even know that they like most bitches they are on a leashed, played with, fed, and loved at the discretion of their host. So, I have a few pointers to help you out …

- You don’t know any personal information: If you do not know his age, his birthday, how many siblings he has, anything. If you don’t know and he doesn’t offer/

- Yall never leave the comfort of his own hood, no date nights, no restaurants, no public appearances around his family. Friends don’t count cause we all know we are who we hang around.

- He never stays overnight and you have never been invited to his home

- He doesn’t want a “Relationship”

- He has that one female “best friend” that he will never loose but they have been in a relationship before (FYI: that is most likely the love of his life and he is buying time until he can show and prove to her in order to get her back)

- He only communicates enough with you so that he can FUCK. I said FUCK no emotions, no cuddling, no intimacy, just a wet ass and broken heart

This post is not to single out any type of female because some woman is just convenient pussy and they accept it but this for the few who may have the signs confused and believe that they are in love with a man who has no intentions to love you then you need to find the man who is waiting for you.

As always if you need to set up a coaching session contact me at truerevelationscoaching@gmail.comor thecoachdestiny@gmail.com

All That I Got

2016-09-04T23:53:00.000-04:00

I have been on this song by K. Michelle for the last two weeks and it’s not the best song I have ever heard but it’s something in that lyrics that has this pull on my heart because if you have ever been a relationship then you may know how it feels to give someone your all and get nothing back in return but this song talks about just that.

In this song, she starts off by saying “I’ll give you this dance and I’ll give you hope. I’ll sing you a song it’s something I wrote, I’ll trace you ink and connect all the dots. It’s not much but it’s all that I got.” I believe that in the world that we live in now we often confused love with materialistic values but this song speaks on the true value of love. So, this is what I want to share with you today. I have 3 tips on giving all that you got in a relationship whether it be romantic or platonic these items will help strengthen it and it does not cost you any money but it will cost all that you got.

1. Spending “Real” Time

a. It may seem really simple but in the society that we live where everything is fast paced, spending real time with people is something of the past. I know you are wondering what I means about real time. I mean going out, no phones, no scheduled event, no time frame. Just be present with that person

2. Listen for understanding not to defend

a. Yall already know I am firm believer in communication. But the way we choose to communicate can be ineffective. Most of us only listen to refute what is being said or to defend our contribution to the situation. But instead we should be listen to understand where the person is coming from and how to create the best solutions together.

3. Tear down the walls

a. We were not created to be hard and heartless. I can’t promise you rainbows and gumdrops but I can tell you that even the most painful experiences can be learning experience

As always I wish you all the best but if you need additional help in your life then feel free to set up an appointment with me at thecoachdestiny@gmail.com or truerevelationscoaching@gmail.com

I Made It

2016-07-31T23:17:00.001-04:00

Okay so if you have not done so then I need you to go out and get Fantasia new album “The definition of” because it’s true testament to what real women deal with it. I swear between this album and Beyoncé’s Lemonade I have really tuned into myself as a woman more. But back to the reason for this post .. Fantasia has a song with Tye Tribbet titled “ I made it” it’s a gospel song but it’s more like her testimony and it’s so relatable and it touched me so much that I had to write about it .

If you follow me on social media then you know that I am very open about my life and use my own personal experiences to give insight and inspiration to others in order for them to not only learn from mistakes but to also know that we are all a sum of our decisions whether they be good or bad. I believe in divine intervention and I know that God will speak to you in away that you know that it’s him talking directly to you. He did that with my today with this song. I was driving and I was deep into my thoughts and I decided to listen to Fantasia’s Cd and this song began to play and as the words played my heart was full that the tears began to pour non stop because I had come to the realization that I MADE IT but I wanted to share with you where I made it from .

In January 2016 , after a really heart touching Midnight mass sermon I honestly told myself that I was not happy with where I was in life. I was just simply alive but I was not living . I mean I enjoyed being a life coach and motivating change in the lives of others but I was not even doing that I was just half assing it. I was starting to drink my own cool aid and I forgot that GOD gave me the gift to begin with and I was abusing it. So, from January til about June I went through I lost a lot of material stuff, I was jumping from BS job to Job but I could just not get together and I was slowly falling into depression. I allowed the darkness to consume me and I couldn’t find my way out but then my sister starting going to church and I started to record and study the sermons . I was slowly finding my way back to God. I was ashamed, confused, lost and in pain but God broke though every barrier and he rescued me through the darkness . He cleaned me up and restored me back to my rightful place.

It has not been easy but it has been everything. I got a better job with career opportunities , I am actually working on getting my non profit up and running, along with my life coaching practice and so much but more importantly I wake up reassured and covered in his grace and mercy. There is not to say that I have not had bad moments but even my worst day walking in his favor is better than my best day without it. These last six months may have been the most painful of my life but it was also the most rewarding because I found the one person that I can not live without and that is ME. I am more confident, I smile more and even though my circle is a lot smaller I appreciate them more because when I was facing the fire they didn’t retreat but stood with me.

I say all that to say this, whatever you are going through know that life is some much more than you. Give praise to your higher power and make sure that you build a solid relationship with him for yourself. Never allow temporary people and permanent positions in your life. Stay humble.

Like always if you need to reach out to me to set up and appointment or to ask a question then email me thecoachdestiny@gmail.com or truerevelationscoaching@gmail.com

Life Lessons to Never Forget

2016-07-27T22:50:00.001-04:00

If you are following me on Social Media and if you are not then go follow me on IG @coach_destiny and coachdestiny on Snapchat. I am famous for my “Life Lessons” just little tidbits in the form of memes,quotes, pictures, etc to help motivate and empower people to become the best version of themselves. I was actually going through my emails and I stumbled upon this article from the Life hacks site that I put my own little Coach Destiny twist on in regards to life lessons that we should never forget.

1. Tomorrow Never Comes: We all know or should know that we are not promised tomorrow so we should make every day our best days. I know that it’s unrealistic to say that every day will be sunshine and rainbows but the fact that you are even able to still experience the storms should be enough to garner a smile. Don’t put off goals and dreams that you want to accomplish because that day will never come unless you purposely make TODAY that day that you will live your life FULL AND COMPLETE.

2. Life is your own creation: My pet peeve is people who are always complaining about the “state” of their lives. If you want to change how you are living the first thing you have to do is SHUT UP and LIVE YOUR LIFE. Where you are right now life is direct reflection of the decisions that you have made, so if you want a different life than simply start making different choices.

3. Show yourself some LOVE : This is pretty self-explanatory but at times we get so caught up in the lives of the people that we love that we forget to show love to our start player “ OURSELVES” , so I personally take time each day to journal, mediate, and spend sometimes with yourself and shower yourself with love.

4. Hang out with your Friends: As I get older I am realizing that there is nothing more relaxing than a group of good people, some great food and drinks and a bunch a laughter. I had to push myself to go out and be more social but I can say that it’s worth it because that human connection does something to your soul makes you feel good about your state of being.

5. JUMP : The best days are waiting for you outside of your comfort zone. I personally know that it’s a very hard first step to take but I can promise you that it will not be vain. You would feel more accomplished but you will begin to truly enjoy the gift that is life.

Like always if you need me for advice or to set your FREE life coaching session ..email me at truerevelationscoaching@gmail.comor thecoachdestiny@gmail.com

You are what you hang around... ARE YOU !!

2016-07-22T20:05:00.000-04:00

So, for the last couple of days I have been asking my Team, my Queens, and just random folks about their attitudes on how they feel about the people they hang around and if those people are a reflection of who you are and even what you believe.

As, a life coach friendship is an area that I spend a lot of time on with my clients because rather we like it or not the people whom we allow into our circle does impact the perceptions that people may have on us. But I also want to dig a little deeper because we know that the definition of friendship is a shared commonality between two people.

So these are few observations that I have made, remember it’s not the gospel

- Levels of friendship

o I have never been one to group my friends in one general category because in my world all my friends are not created equal. I have my “ Turn Up” crew people who I have a good time with but will never confide in. I also have my “Inner Circle” friends who know my entire life. It’s okay to create levels because not all people are built for everything.

- Check your reflection

o When people have a hard time creating or maintaining real friendship, I always ask them to check their reflection because just like bee to honey if a person feels you are unapproachable ot that you’re a fake then they are more likely then not to want to create a real relationship with you. So, always ask yourself “ Am I the friend that I want”.

- Moral Standards

o I hold all my friends to a moral standard and certain things in my opinion will end or demote your level relationship. For example, I believe in treating people how you want to be treated thus for if I have friend who are selfish or inherently evil then we will not be friends.

- Do the Work

o Another trend that I tend to see with friendships is that people forget that just like a companionship with the woman or man you love, friendship also takes work. You have to build trust, communicate and be honest with one another. Not every day is going to be pizza and pics but real friendships work through things. If you do not want to do the work to keep and builder your friendship, then that is also a clear indicator that maybe you have not put your friends in the proper friendship category.

I could create an entire two-day workshop on friendships alone but the most important things to remember that you while creating new and maintaining old friendship that on even the most miniscule level that the people you hang around are a reflection of who you are. For instance, when you see me at the bar with a group of friends who a loud, laughing and having a good time then people may assume that I am naturally loud fun loving person which is a true part of my personality. However, you may also see me with a group of my friends talking straight life goals and boss business and assume that I am ambitious boss who is about her business which is also a part of my personality but what you won’t see is with a group of people who are not ambitious, who are depressing, who do not care to better themselves because that is not a part of my personality.

As always if you need to speak with me, set an appointment for your first FREE session then contact me at thecoachdestiny@gmail.com or truerevelationscoaching@gmail.com

Sister To Sister Sunday

2016-05-15T12:36:00.001-04:00

Q: What if your faith and your current career don't align?

A: Then you need to go back to your faith and listen to the answers that he gives you

Q: How do you walk away from people you've known half your life?

A: Dont confuse history with loyalty not everyone who ages together will actually grow together. you can still be cordial with the knowing that yall lives are on two different paths

Q: Is there away to fix bad sex?

A: Communication and exploration remember sex should be more than physical act

Q: Is it possible to rebuild trust?

A: It's possible only after you have truly healed and forgave otherwise you will harbor resentment

Q: What is the best way to overcome heartbreak?

A: Reflection and time.. give yourself the opportunity to heal

Q. How do you handle jealous people?

A. keep being great their jealousy has nothing to do with you

Daddy Lesson

2016-05-11T19:00:00.000-04:00

My father is hands down one of my favorite people because no matter what he has always been a constant form of support and comfort for me. I am a self-proclaimed Daddy’s Girl because of our bond is just that tight. Most importantly and why I am dedicating this post to him is because he has also been my teacher, my spiritual advisor and coach throughout my life. So, I decided today to share just a few “fatherly” tidbits that he has shared with me over the years and that have truly impacted my life in a good way.

1. Just do “YOUR” best

a. Ever since I was child and I would bring home my report card and although I had great grades if, I got something that I thought was not to my liking, he would always ask me “Do you do your best because as long as you do YOUR best then I am proud of you”.

2. No Worries. TRUST GOD

a. My daddy’s faith is inspiring and whenever he is going through something you would never know because he does not believe in worrying instead he prays and give all his burdens to GOD. This lesson was one of my hardest because I am a control freak but as I learned and started to practicing life has become less stressful

3. You can’t make a person from leaving but you can control if they come back

a. As a father of 7 and the entire block, my pops had to deal with a lot of hormonal teens but he uses to always say the door is always open. As a female dealing with males and relationships I had to adapt this mentality.

4. Smile

a. You would never know that daddy is really an introvert because he smiles all the time no matter what maybe going on life, he knows that a smile can make your day better or someone else’s day better

5. It could always be worse

a. Self-explanatory

These a very few but if you follow my blog, heard me speak or just in conversation with me then you will see my “Daddy’s Lessons”. He pushes to follow my passion and I know nothing that I do would be worth anything if I didn’t have him behind me 100%.

If you have any questions or want to set up your free session email me us at truerevelationscoaching@gmail.comor therealcoachdestiny@gmail.com.

How to Live Alone

2016-05-04T19:00:00.000-04:00

Would you believe me if I told you that at thirty years old I have never truly lived alone? I have been in and out of relationship for the last seventeen years of my life? I have a big family that is very close knit?

I have never been alone and to be honest now as I sit down I finally come to the conclusion that although I have always had someone in my life, I have always been lonely. Most people get that confused because I know that I did because I thought being alone and being lonely where the same thing but I was sadly mistaken. As I clung tightly to people and bad relationship I was slowly loosing myself until December 31^st 2015. IF you read my blog then you know that at Watch Night Service 2015 I had a break down but I now see that is something that I needed in order to get to where I needed to be.

I stayed in relationships, clung onto people not because I had a fear of being alone because to be honest the best times I have is when I am by myself but I was scare of being lonely and I have trying to fill that void but what I was doing was throwing myself into a dangerous cycle because you can’t be who you are destined to be if you are looking for your worth and happiness in other people. So, I have been struggling for the last five months trying to deal with my loneliness issues but what I came up with that in order to deal with my fear of being lonely I had to fist deal with my insecurity.

So, as painful as it has been for the last five months I have been learning to live ALONE …

1. Strip yourself

a. This is a lot easier said than done but what I have been doing is stripping myself naked in all from my body to my soul. I have been making list of things I don’t like about myself and the things I love myself. I am progressively working on the things that I can fix and learning to accept the things I can

2. Unpack your bags

a. WE all have baggage that we have picked up in life and for whatever the reason we have just kept them. You have to learn the unpack your bags and it will be hard and it may cause pain because you have open up old wounds but the only way to heal is to admit that you were first hurting.

3. Take out the Trash

a. After you unpack your bags then you need to take out the trash. All the memories, the drama, the stress in the past and present that is not you or that you have no control over … Let it go because it not comforting you but constricting you which will eventually lead to suffocating you.

4. Make yourself a PRIORITY

a. I spent so much of my life catering to other people that I was always put myself second in fear that if I didn’t that I would be seen as selfish and they would leave me. But in doing that I was losing myself. The things that I truly enjoyed doing I put on the back burner.

5. Reconnect with your spiritual center

a. I know God loves me and I LOVE him but I also take him for granted and I started to lean to my own understanding instead of letting him be the center of my life, I occupied his space with other people and their problems. I believe in GOD and I am not pushing my religion on you but having a solid spiritual center helps immensely

6. Live on PURPOSE

a. This is the last step which living your best life on purpose becoming unapologetically who you were created to be. It will not be easy but once you are totally okay with LIVING ALONE with yourself then even in the darkest times you will come out the Victor instead of the victim.

Until next time Team … If you have want to reach me email me at thecoachdestiny@gmail.com and to set up your first FREE life coaching session email True Revelations at truerevelationscoaching@gmail.com