True Stories in My Mind

"Yes, She Is!" No, She's Not!" Is birth country the only factor in being "of" a certain people?

2012-10-11T17:33:00.002-04:00

As I shared in my last post, my fiance and I recently had a beautiful baby girl. We have found ourselves in a never-ending debate about her culture. My biological father was born and raised in Jamaica and my fiance born and raised in the British Virgin Islands. In my mind, she's about 75% Caribbean. No? Well that's what my fiance says too.
Over the years, I have found myself phasing out American black men from the dating pool and replacing them with Caribbean or African black men (yes there are white Caribbean and Africans). It's just become my personal preference. I love the foods, music, languages, accents, and everything about the Caribbean culture especially. These are things that I greatly want our daughter to be a part of. However, my fiance's feeling that her not being born on a caribbean island makes her 100% American bothers me.

I think it would be a much different story if he [fiance] was completely "Americanized" so to speak but he's not. And please don't let him get around family; it's like, what American accent?! I was not raised with my biological father and I think I have always longed to know this part of myself. Being outcasted by my father's side as a dark-skinned (yeah... they are those light-skinned with "good hair" kind) Yankee and my mothers side as just different all around, has truly affected me. Although I tried to compensate for the void with reggae music, dance halls, plantains cooked every which way, and a former unhealthy obsession with all things Marley, there will always be something missing. My fear is that she will grow up to feel disconnected from her family and that she won't experience the richness of the culture.

So to all of you bi, tri, and quad(?) cultural people out there, what do you think? Is she? Is she not?

IT'S BEEN A MINUTE, RIIIIGHT???

2012-09-26T01:23:00.004-04:00

It's been almost one year to the day of my last post. Wait, let me explain. I have a very valid excuse. Well, it's just...I...uuuummmm. Okay keep reading to find out what I've been up to.

Yep...I'm somebody's Mama!!! Most people including myself are still trying to digest that tidbit of info. I'm knocking hard as hell on 30's door and have been in a long term relationship for five years so most people just figured since it had not happened yet, it wasn't going to. Quiet as kept, I think even my mother was starting to give up hope on me making her a "GJ" (Grandma Joann). My fiance wanted me to chronicle the pregnancy by blogging about it. I was concerned that my Mac would fall in the toilet while I was chucking the deuces to every morsel that I put in my mouth. Or that it would fall from my belly (my new laptop desk) when I fell into one of my ever-constant stupors. So I decided against it.

On Friday July 13, 2012 my fiance and I were blessed beyond measure with the most awesome baby girl in history!!! We named her Phoenix-Rose and she has forever changed our lives! Sooo that's what I've been up to the last 12 months. She's almost 12 weeks now (I used to hate when parents would say the weeks instead of months or years of their child, now look at me) and I've decided it's time for me to get my blog on again. I'm going to try not to turn this into a "I'm a new mom, look at me!" blog. Nothing against those but it's just not what I want to do. I don't know how often I'll be posting (I'm tired as hell all the time now...but I love it). Here are a few visuals of the last 12 months. Sorry no real pics of our P-Rose but we aren't all that comfortable with plastering her all over the web...well not yet at least.

L to R: Top pic was used for our baby shower invite; bottom used for the baby shower save the date...Used this pic to announce my pregnancy to FB...Our rightous little Rose with her fist already in the air (sn: we waited to find out the sex...awesome surprise)...Just me and my big belly:)...Hot Mama at the shower...Phoenix-Rose and her Daddy (he's so in love)

TAKE CARE OF OUR LITTLE B.A.P.S...LOL

2011-09-30T22:36:00.000-04:00

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about black celebrity figures hating on dark-skineed women and girls. From people making rachet comments about Snoop Dog's little Godiva drop to Lil Wayne proclaiming "light is right" there has been so much self-hatred. This is so bothersome to me. Why don't "We" understand that taking care of our own is where it's at? I'm not sure if we'll ever do better but I'm certain we need to!!!
For many black women we learned very early that there was an attack on little black girls. This attack was a sneak attack because it's vehicle was our own mothers! Now, our mothers certainly didn't mean to do us harm; they love us! But one loving daily act easily turned into sheer itchy horror for us little black girls...bath time. Stay with me now. Again, the culprit was not really our mothers, it was this fucker....

Black Mothers...we must stop the cycle! Please don't use this in your daughters bath! It makes the "pocketbook" itch like hell!!!!! AHH...MEMORIES LMAO

OOTD...DREAM CHASING

2011-09-10T20:30:00.001-04:00

Last weekend, me and the Love finally had a chance to spend some time together. We decided to head down to my favorite place in DC, Eastern Market!! Coincidently, it was also the day before Labor Day so I decided to pull out a white ensemble to bid adu to the summer. Secretely I'm sooooo ready for fall...boots and jackets and jeans oh my:) After iced coffee and lunch at the best Thai place in DC (San Phan), we headed to the MLK Mermorial. It was really beautiful and worth a trip to DC if you don't already live in the area! Enjoy the Ensem!

"Come on pay attention" -Jada

2011-09-05T10:32:00.000-04:00

Good Day Truth Seekers! Lately I've been listening to a lot more rap music. I call it rap rather than hip hop because in my eyes that's what it is. Commercial laden urban music that speaks to a demographic which seeks to use little brain power to enjoy it. Sorry if that offended anyone, but it is what it is. So anywhoo, my brother let me burn his Watch The Throne cd and I found myself nodding my head to one track in particular that features Frank Ocean, "No Church in the Wild". The beat is so amazing, I think I ignored the words. That may have been the wrong thing to do. This morning while browsing my favorite gossip site Bossip I stumbled upon this song...

I don't know who Bizzle is but much of what he said have been my sentiments on occasion. I think it is so easy to ignore certain things about any form of entertainment and take what you want from it. However, entertainment is art and it's purpose is to affect and effect your both your conscious and subconscious.

CHECK MY SUMMAFRESH

2011-08-23T18:18:00.002-04:00

As promised, I am back and bloggin! In the future, I'll probably do an OOTD(outfit of the day) type of post. However, to catch you all up on "my" summer style here are a few pictures and outfit details. Enjoy!

Chillin with the heart in San Fran
Top: Old Navy
Bottom: Old Navy
Boots: Ross
Bag: H&M

SADE Concert!!!!
Dress: Ross
Sandals: Target

Cousin's Wedding...didn't catch the bouquet:(
Top: TJ Maxx
Bottom: NY & Co
Belt: Ashley Stewart
Shoes: Target

Lunch at San Phan
Top: Target
Bottom: Old Navy
Sandals: H&M
Bag: H&M

Night at the movies with my boo:)
Top: NY & Co Cami and Sweater
Bottom: Ashley Stewart
Shoes: Target
Scarf: Walmart

Other cousin's wedding...missed the bouquet toss...open bar;)
Top: NY & Co
Skirt: Ashley Stewart
Shoes: Old Navy

T's B-day...a night to remember:)
Top: Lane Bryant...years ago
Bottom: Ashley Stewart
Shoes: Target

Headed to dinner w/ brother and sis:)
Top: NY & Co
Bottom: Stolen from my mom during a visit
Shoes: Thrifted

So there you have it! I don't really have a name for my summer style and didn't take many pics of outfits that I really love but this gives you an idea of what I've been rockin'. CHECK MY FALLFRESH COMING SOON:)

CHECK MY FRESH!:)

2011-08-22T12:40:00.000-04:00

So I have really been meaning to blog more. I promise I have. It seems I have so much to say and then nothing at all at the same time. A friend of mine advised me however, to blog about what interests me at any given moment. It was like a light bulb went off in my head! Initially, that's what I wanted to do but it seemed too scatter-brained. But guess what? The "true stories in my mind" are just that! My mind is constantly all over the place! So new rules:

Blog about what matters to me
Don't focus on what others may deem important
Blog often

Lately I've been inspired to dig back into my personal style. I don't see myself as a fashionista by any means but I usually get a lot of complements on my outfits. Being a plus-sized woman is no easy task when it comes to finding that perfect outfit so I look to others for inspiration quite often. Lately I've been rocking with:

Chastity from The Curvy Girl's Guide to Style

Love it all head to toe!

Nadia from Nadia Aboulhosn

You betta work!

SheDel from My Thrifted Closet

GRRRRRRRR!

These ladies' dangerous curves and great personal style have truly inspired me to get back on my game. So here we go!!!

JUST STOP IT!

2011-06-30T21:16:00.000-04:00

"Don't worry about why I got a perm...dem niggas ova der plankin!"

So, unless you have been on another planet lately, you've heard about the recent rash of "Planking" that has hit all social media outlets. For those of you vacationing on Mars, the United States has finally cought on to what was originally coined, "The lying down game." In this game, people find odd places to lie face down with their arms and hands at their sides. The participant(s) is then photographed and the photos are usually uploaded to some social media outlet for their friends and others to laugh at. Sounds harmless, right?
Well, not so much now. Why, you ask? Because, every party has a pooper, that's why we invited YOU! When I say you, I mean those that are now all of a sudden opposed to planking because of is racially "oppressive" history. My first question...why the hell did people start doing it and then research the history. Speaking as a person who heard about the craze, researched it's roots, and then participated I have to say that it is harmless!!! If we (African Americans) want to be concerned about something, let us please address the fathers that are not taking care of their children, the once beautiful black women that are now chocked full of silicone, hair weave, acrylic, and everything else God has not naturally blessed them with, and let us not forget the illiterate children we are raising that can't speak proper english but can quote everything that comes out of Niki Minaj's ass! BLACK PEOPLE... I caution you, STOP FOCUSING ON THE BULL!!! Planking is not being forced on us as a people (as it was during the middle passage). It is a game people!! It will be here today and gone tomorrow! In the mean time find another cause! Let us not get our Al Sharpton on about planking (making a racial mountain out a mole hill). We have disappointed our ancestors on so many instances and we need to focus on addressing those!

I'd rather have a "planker" represent us!

"Mommy, this burns."

Such a problem!

Hmmmm, not so much

"MY COUSINS, MY COUSINS"

2011-06-27T20:29:00.000-04:00

This weekend I visited my hometown of Rochester, NY, a place I usually avoid like the plague. However, this visit was such a great one I had to share it with my "Truth Seekers".
I went home for a my older cousin's wedding. I've always seen him as an older brother so there was no way I was going to miss the event. My parents seeing an opportunity for everyone to connect also decided to plan a family barbecue for the following day. Knowing the drama that is usually a part of any event we have, I was somewhat cautious but mostly excited. The entire weekend resulted in the polar opposite of my reservations. There were gut-busting laughs, long healing discussions, dancing until young bodies were sweating and old ones were aching, and planning for the future! It was beautiful!

In my close to thirty years on this earth, I've had more ups and downs with my family than any Tyler Perry movie can ever address! After relocating to Philadelphia for school, I all but severed ties with them, thinking it was for the best for everyone. I could not have been more wrong. Although the mere mention of certain members of my family dredges up feelings of contempt and pain, my choice to distance myself has done little to heal old wounds. It has however, caused me to miss some beautiful moments in my younger cousin's lives and seek solidarity in weak friendships. Well, later for that! I'm making a commitment to myself and my family to just be there more. I know things won't change over night, but there are a few things I'm going to try to make things solid. Check out the tips below for reconnecting with family...they may work for you too. Also check out the pics of all of the love and fun (rumor has it that the drink and music took control of me there're aren't that many pics to view off my camera:)!

TIPS FOR RECONNECTING WITH COUSIN PETE N' THEM:)
Call More-even if it's just to say hey (this is something I struggle with...after years of working at a call center I hate the phone)
Connect using social media-you never know, that old uncle may just have an FB page and a Twitter account
Send Cards-call the oldest person in your family (usually the "Bigma") and find out when everyone's birthday is
Go Home-even if "home" is the most boring hick place on earth, it's home
Let them come to you- people always enjoy getting away so let them come.

FATHER'S JOHN

2011-02-17T20:10:00.000-05:00

THINKING ABOUT A CHILDHOOD MEMORY, I WAS MOVED TO LOOK UP FATHER'S JOHN. I'LL GIVE A $1 TO THE FIRST PERSON THAT CAN TELL ME WHAT THAT IS! GO ON, GOOGLE IT...I'LL WAIT:)

Okay, I'm joking. I'm not really going to give anyone a $1. But anywhoo...Father's John is the thick, sweet, brown, tastes nothing like medicine, concoction that my mother gave me and my brother for every ailment. Ahhhhhh....back in the day parents gave their kids more than Ritalin and it actually worked:) Parents, next time your child coughs...go search for this miracle syrup!

WHAT IN THE HOT MESS WAS THAT???

2011-02-03T23:31:00.001-05:00

Last month my boyfriend gave me one of the best presents ever; tickets to see Lauryn Hill live at the House of Blues in Atlantic City!! In anticipation of the show, I let my birthday come and go with out much fanfare. I mean, I was going to see Ms. Hill tear the stage up! I ignored the recent press and 10 days after my birthday took the short drive to AC with my boo to see the living legend live. All I can say is the show was...

SOME BABY BACKED BULL SHIT!!!! The show was supposed to start at 9:00 pm and with no opening act, I expected her to be on stage by 10:30 at the latest. But noooooooo Ms. Hill put on her divatude and decided not to grace us with her presence until well after MIDNIGHT (yes, the caps means I'm yelling)!

I was still holding out hope after being forced to endure DJ Diamond Cutz for way too long (no dis Ms. Cutz was just ready to se my girl) when the lights dimmed and the foolishness ensued.

No apologies for making us wait, crazy fast arrangements on every song, her kids on stage (that aint cute to everybody hun), all in all just too much mess to go into. In the future I will just remember her as she was.

Back On It...I think

2011-01-26T23:31:00.000-05:00

Hello All! I know it's been a couple months but I have been working like I have four kids in college!!! Things have slowed down a bit and now I'm back bloggin:) So much has been on my mind I don't know where to start.

Well let's start here...

Who in the hell left the gate open so this could get out?!!!! I recently heard that "Ignorant Black Man #4" a.k.a. Antoine Dodson has inked a deal for a reality show. Why oh why is he a representation of anyone's reality?

And then there's...

What in the Ambi happened to this one?! The popular reggae artist holds that this sort of vanity is a part of all cultures and dismisses all those who take issue with his use of 'cake soap'. He actually makes a good point! It's not like we don't turn a blind eye to this foolishness...

CHROME CONFIDENCE BUILDER

2010-11-28T18:55:00.001-05:00

Sooooo, in my mind, I'm a pole dancer...

Well I have been since last Saturday after taking my very first pole class! For the past month, I've been taking exotic dane classes at BodyTalk Fitness in Laurel, MD. After losing 13lbs on Weight Watchers, I wanted to find a fun way to continue shedding the pounds while toning things up. I started off with what myself and many of the women consider the "Bootcamp" class of them all; Exotic Moves with Spice. From the word go, I loved the workout that left me feeling sore and sexy all at the same time! I immediately signed up for a membership. However, there had been a large part of what the gym had to offer that I was missing, the pole classes!

Last Saturday however, that all changed! I was super nervous thinking, I'm too heavy, I have no upper body strength, blah, blah, blah... Once I finished whining I learned that I may have some natural pole talent! Now my friend says it's just the inner-freak coming out. In my mind, I agree;) I've already requested this piece of exercise equipment for my birthday!

Ladies if you're looking for a new way to spice up your exercise regime, visit BodyTalk Fitness in Laurel, MD! The instructors are kind and patient and the work out is insane! Be sure to try Exotic Moves with Spice and any Polerize with Sillihouette! Now let's check out a YouTube favorite that will make all the Chunky Monkeys say, "I can do that!" Honey, yes we can!!!!!

SHE STARTED OUT PRETTY ROUGH BUT HAD ACCOMPLISHED A LOT IN JUST 1 MONTH!

BUT SHE WORKED HARD AND QUICKLY PROGRESSED!

TMI PEACHES...TMI

2010-11-02T20:49:00.004-04:00

Being an avid reality television spectator, I couldn't wait for the third season of foolishness from our gals on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The first two seasons were so comical in their constant drama and certainly did the job to entertain the boredom right out of me! Season 3 however, has been blah at best. It's like they are trying entirely too hard and being faker than their fake selves. Case in point, last nights episode where a private "ladies chat" took a turn....

Now what the what?!!!! I'm not usually the biggest fan of NeNe but yeeeeees honey, I love that you did not even engage in that mess! What's worse, is that these women then went on to continue their discussion in front of two of the "housewives'" husbands! Can you say slack?! Now I am a woman that is very honest and candid and I value a man's honest opinion about relationships, sex, and life in general. However, ladies it is never appropriate to share such intimate details with your "friend's" husband. And please do not go on television and share with all the men in the world our "keep em' cumming' secrets!

Southern belles they were not!

FEELING DOWN...WATCH SOMEONE ELSE FALL DOWN

2010-10-18T23:26:00.004-04:00

So I've been feeling a little down. Now, I try to be very careful not to wallow in my own misery. It doesn't really help anything. So when I'm feeling like this there is one surefire way to make me smile. Hell, this will make me laugh my ass of literally...What is it? Read on

I LIKE TO YOUTUBE PEOPLE FALLING...IT CURES A BAD MOOD EVERY TIME!!!!

What really killed me is how he got up!

She just disappeared! And she was trying soooooo hard!

It's like when you're little and someone kicks you in the back of the knee and you collapse. They say that means you're hungry...makes a lot of sense!

Ohhhhhh honey nooooooooo!

DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER...I DO!

I LOVE AIRMEN...NOT IN THE WAY YOU'RE THINKING

2010-10-02T12:04:00.001-04:00

Didn't want to see him go last year!

My younger brother is in the Air Force and has been stationed in Germany for well over a year. Well he's currently on leave and decided to come visit his big sister last weekend! He and I are five years apart so we haven't really partied together but last weekend we made up for lost time!!!! What do you get when you combine lots of liquor, an Airman on leave, a young couple that need a night out, and U St?

And it begins...

My honey bout to get loose...

Babe, what's that a sign for?

Our parents would be so proud! LOL

Ohhh I think he like me...lol

Fuck, Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck it up! This guy is gone! He never eats a stranger's food!!!!

So Airmen swag surf...?

This man was having his own party with all the new 2019 dances!! LOL

Corner of U and 14th where the real party was about to be!

If you pay them, they will play.

Ohhh here we go!

Foolishness to come soon....

Yaaaaaaay...MLK would have loved to see this...lol. No really.

Somebody want to be in Brooklyn sooooo bad...NYr's get it. LOL

Yeah he can get it...lol.

OOOOOOOOOO

Was so proud of my island boi for not flipping on this guy! Baby steps...lol.

Yes, I found a tambourine!

Just fun...

Awww shit...time to go home! It was all worth it though!!!!!

"CUP-CAKING" WITH MY BOO...

2010-09-24T18:25:00.001-04:00

No matter what you call it, cup-caking, boo-loving, or quality time; it should have a sound track! Check out these surefire tunes to get the "party" started...

Apple's rich soulful voice will make you scour your fridge for honey and strawberries:)

We all know that thug dude that does exactly this:)

Please light the candles and turn off all the phones when this is playing:)

Shout out to JLynne over at www.hunnybeefree.blogspot.com. This tune is not for the "jump-off" put this on for the boo-boo. I'll be playing it tonight and I can't wait!

They're Baaaaaaaaack...Ready to HAM it up!

2010-09-20T20:54:00.011-04:00

October 19, 2010 be sure to tune in to TVONE'S latest docu-series, K-ci & Jojo Come Clean! Apparently, someone over at the TVONE network thinks bad ideas make for great tv.
It's been a while since the former Jodeci front-men have been on the scene. The last time I heard hide or hair of them was via YouTube, when a clearly smacked Jojo passed clean out during a concert in Australia (see video...it'll make your problems seem like a cake walk).
The two brothers will be fighting their long-time addiction to alcohol for all the world to see. With black sitcoms being non-exsistant, it seems that all of our families can curl up on the couch and watch us make fools out of ourselves in real life. Get ready to laugh your ass of at this foolishness and tuck it away in your guilty pleasures box. Enjoy!

What Are They Thinking??

2010-09-11T12:23:00.005-04:00

My parents are on their way to Florida for vacation as I type. I was speaking to my mom while she was impatiently waiting for their flight and I realized, "Mom, that idiot that decided to burn the Quran is in Florida," I screamed into the phone. My mother in her infinite coolness responded, "Girl please. That man is in New York doing his rounds on the interview circuit."
Okay...why is this man being interviewed? Sometimes I think America is glutton for punishment. Everything does not have to be shared!! For whatever reason, we feel the need to broadcast every nook and cranny of ignorance we can! Why is that? Today should be a day of celebrating our nation's greatness, not it's embarrassments! Don't these journalists realize that by giving this man a platform to speak his foolishness, America seems to be supporting it? The networks that are supporting this idiot's views need to...

KID AGAIN

2010-09-06T13:17:00.001-04:00

THE GANG

Remember when being an adult and having the control to make all of your own decisions was all you could think about? For some it started to happen around the age of puberty, when your hormones began whispering filthy little nothings in your ear. For others, it may have been a bit later, perhaps the first time you came home on break from school and your parents asked you to come in at a decent hour. Whenever your time came, there was certainly a moment when you thought, damn. I can’t wait until I’m grown!

Well, your wish has been granted. You are grown! I mean grown, grown. What does being grown, grown mean? It means you have bills and responsibilities that you can’t really get rid of. It’s here! The rent’s due. The kids need a bath. The roof is leaking. Your boss is as a jerk. The sad thing is, there is no escaping it. Or, is there?

It may sound simple, even down right silly but I sing my favorite childhood songs to rid myself of the “I’m grown blues.” Yesterday, I was sitting in front of my laptop completely frustrated about a work assignment. The television was droning on in the back round, but was being paid little attention. Suddenly, I heard something that caught my ear, Cookie Monster. Apparently, the bakers of the TLC show Cake Boss had been commissioned to create a masterpiece for Sesame Street’s 40^th Anniversary celebration. Before I knew what happened, I was tapping away at my computer just-a-smiling and-a-singing, “Sunny days. Sweeping the clouds away. On my way to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.”

It felt so damn good! So I urge you all, find that “thing” that makes you feel like a careless kid again! If it’s kick ball, grab your sneakers and a ball! If it’s playing double dutch, grab a long extension cord and two of your girls and go for it! Whatever it is, make the time to have a tantrum all over your “grown-ass” blues!

HAPPY LABOR DAY!!

2010-09-06T12:40:00.004-04:00

In my mind...I was part of the carnival:)

Yeah it's over...the summer that is. It's time to buy school clothes, books, and supplies for some. For others, it means drunken weekends at your favorite hot spots are over. My summer definitely lived up to it's expectations.

This Summer I...

Danced with strangers
Fell in love
Drank
Partied
Worked
Chilled at the beach
Tried new food
Spent time with friends
Became one with nature

There are some things I didn't have a chance to do like find new natural ways to cure a hang over or flash a stranger, but it was still great, and there's always next summer! How was your summer? Send me your best summer images to post!

DC CARNIVAL

OHHHH WHAT A NIGHT

GINGER STIR FRY

FALLING IN LOVE FOR OVER 3 YEARS!

TORNADO #1

PRETTY