Yesterday I posted a poem that Ann Betz, author of Coaching the Spirit, wrote specifically for me, in response to some comments I had made to her.  I felt honored and seen and grateful.

A few days later, she wrote and shared another poem, one that was supposedly not just  for me.  But oh my, it still spoke directly to my heart and soul, spoke of a dilemma I’ve experienced more often than I’d like to reveal.  That’s the sign of a great poet, I guess.  So I decided to share this one, too.  Perhaps you’ll feel the same way, as though she’s speaking just to you, too.  Maybe she is.

I just want to be enough

you know, I’m tired
I just want to know myself
as enough
not too much or too little
I want to be enough

because, you see
I’m big and bold and fearless
in many ways
and that scares some
who question their ability
to measure up

I also can be
small and scared and lost
and I don’t want to pretend 
this isn’t true 
in order to maintain
a persona I’ve created

I’m lovely, breathtaking and timeless
some of the time
worn-out, plain and old
on other days

you can count on me 
to be more truthful
than anyone you’ve ever known

unless I’m not

I’ll hold the mirror up to myself
to see what I really am

unless I don’t

and I’ll never blame, get angry
or lose myself in anxiety

unless I do

I just want to be enough
in all my beauty
flaws
and complexity

I want to see myself as
enough

Ever have a poem written for you, about you?

Well, I just did, and I highly recommend it.

Ann Betz, Author of Coaching the Spirit, wrote the following specifically for me, in response to my expressing some confusion about my next steps. I thought I’d share it with you! Enjoy.

brace yourself for this:
we see you as the sun
and nothing less

all points of you
simply shining
alive, and wondrous

no other pictures emerge
your presence
is too strong

and so all we have to say is
leave everything
that is not your soul’s song

perhaps we are not helpful
perhaps you knew exactly
what we would have to say

but sometimes it
makes a difference
to hear it
anyway

Gorgeous, isn’t it?  And wise?  Now I just have to do it!  :-)

According to the Book of Days for the Literary Year, on November 5, in 1644, Samuel Pepys wrote in his Diary that he had been to see MacBeth, “a pretty good play.” Clearly, the test of time has shown us that Shakespeare’s MacBeth is more than just a “pretty good play.” It’s clear now, over 367 years later, that Pepys underestimated MacBeth … Or did he? Wasn’t he just stating his opinion, to which he was certainly entitled?

Who are we to judge what the test of time will prove? People are going to like what they like. And that’s their (our) prerogative.In fact, it’s one of the things that makes the world such an interesting place.

It’s one of the things that makes the world such an interesting place. Just because people like or don’t like what you do (or don’t do), however, doesn’t mean that it’s not worthy, not a masterpiece. And furthermore, it doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy, either, not a masterpiece! Those people may just not be “your people.”

So whether or not you or your stuff is deemed “pretty good” by someone else, claim it – claim you – as worthy. The test of time may tell us what’s deemed true about your stuff. But for now, one thing we know for sure is that you are a valuable piece of the global puzzle – a masterpiece, no less.

So there!

God’s Gift to the World? Who? Me?

Well, yes!  I am the only me that’s ever been and the only me that will ever be.  I have a unique combination of beliefs, talents, quirks and qualities that no one else has ever had or will ever have.  So again, I say, yes – I am God’s Gift to the World!

Now, lest you think I am some sort of ego maniac, let me also say that I believe that you, too, are God’s Gift to the this glorious planet of ours!  We are each one-of-a-kind masterpieces.  And regardless of whether or not I agree with what you believe, or what you do and say, I am still glad you’re here, because it’s only when each of us is being who we’re here to be that our world can function at its best.

I look at our globe as one big puzzle, one in which each of us has our own unique space to fill.  And I know that if you will allow yourself to learn about what truly makes you tick, and love yourself enough to live in integrity with what’s at the core of you, then we’ll all be better off.  Not only will you be living and enjoying life to the fullest, but in the meantime, by example, you’ll be leading others to do the same.  And what might be the result of that?  World Peace, of course!

As outrageous as it sounds, I am actually quite serious about this, and believe in it wholeheartedly.  So I do hope you’ll join me on my crusade.  Take some time to learn about yourself – who you are, deep down inside.  Then love that person you discover yourself to be. Allow yourself to live that unique person’s life, yours, and in that way, truly lead to the world.

Won’t you please, help me “peace” our world together and make it whole?

Hello, my dear lovely,

I am writing to say – out loud – that I want to write for 15 minutes a day.  I would love to write for an even longer time, but setting that bar hasn’t served me lately.  So, inspired by Dawn Goldberg of Write Well U, I’m going to write at least 15 minutes a day, for at least 15 days in a row.

This shouldn’t be difficult, as there’s a lot I want to say.  It’s true, I want people to be moved and educated and inspired and empowered by what I write.  But mostly, I want to do it because I want to do it.  And I believe that because I’ve wanted to write regularly for so long that I am meant to do it.  So there.

There is a lot I want.  Off the top of my head, I’ll say I want to sleep well and eat well and get (and stay) fit.  I want to (want to) exercise.  I want to be in nature more of the time, and be with the people I love even more than that.  I want to create and connect and learn and teach and grow and be me out loud.  And I want to help others do the same – if that’s what they want.

I want to make so much money that I am not only able to have the things and experiences that I want for myself, but I also want to be able to share it with others.   I want to share my things and experiences with those I love, and I want to give money to complete strangers, supporting people and causes I believe in.

I want, I want, I want. Sure, I want a lot.  And there’s a lot more than what I’ve mentioned here.  The paradox is that I am also very grateful for all I have  and am and all I am able to do.

One thing I am grateful right now is the fact that I just wrote for more than 15 minutes!  Thanks for being here for that.

I wish for you all that you want.  And I wish for you wanting what you want without judging or shaming yourself in any way.   By our very nature, we are human and divine, and inherent in that is paradox.  Embrace this paradox, and all others, if you can.  Life is far more enjoyable this way, for me at least.  And as a result, I feel so much more free to be me out loud.

Isn’t that a nice way to feel – free – here on the 5th of July?

Won’t you join me?

love,
Laura

PS On another note completely, there is a fabulous play by Lanford Wilson called Fifth of July.  He wrote lots of powerful plays worth looking into, if you’re so inclined…

I have been re-reading one of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt biographies, Leadership the Eleanor Roosevelt Way, and seriously, this woman rocked!  Hence, I see her as a great choice with whom to kick off Women’s History Month (after my mom, of course)!

I am not going to even begin to think that I can do her justice here, in a little ol’ blog post.  What I am going to do is point you over to her page on Wikipedia.  First, however, I am going to list only some of the many great things she is quoted as having said.  Enjoy!

• Courage is more exhilarating than fear, and in the long run, it is easier.  We do not have to become heroes overnight.  Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.
• Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
• Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
• I you have something to say, you can say it.
• I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.
• In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
• It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
• One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
• People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
• Readjustment is a kind of private revolution.
• Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
• The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
• We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.
• What matters now, as always, is not what we can’t do:  it is what we can and must do.
• When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?
• When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
• Work is easier to carry when your heart is involved.
• Women are like tea bags – you can’t tell how strong they are until you put them in hot water.
• Women, whether subtly or vociferously, have always been a tremendous power in the destiny of the world.

Women’s History Month:  One whole month of the year dedicated to one of the two genders.  Hmm… In one way, it’s sad to think we need a designated month to remember that (we) women have made significant contributions in our world. On the other hand, I am glad that while we still need it, we have it.  (At what point do you think we won’t need it?  Soon, I hope!)

This year, and every year, that month is March, and so today, on the first of this month, we celebrate Women’s History Month.  I am planning to take the time here on my blog, for at least a few of the days this month, to highlight just a few of the women I admire. And, I’d like to invite you to join me.

For which women in history – recent or distant – are you most grateful? What did you learn or receive – directly or indirectly – as a result of their lives and the actions they took – or refused to take?  And how are you living differently now, due to their influence?

Think about it and then let me know.  I’d love to hear!  Plus, there are so many, and so many I don’t yet know about, I look forward to learning from you.  Most of all, however, together, let’s celebrate and honor the important women that came before us!

PS  March is a special month for me for another reason, too.  It’s the birth month of someone very special in my life – Mary Ann Luck Taylor.  Happy Birth Month, Mom!  I love and honor you!

Just hearing these words – without seeing them – brings me back to church hymns of my youth.  This month hymns and carols and traditional music are all around us.  Many of us are even hearing and singing them…without much attention to the words.  It’s a time of year when I think we do a lot of things without much attention. We run on automatic at the very time it would serve us to be more intentional.

Whatever holidays you celebrate this month, chances are there is much to do.  Decorating, shopping, planning, cooking, packing, delivering, mailing.  There’s so much packed into the few weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day that it hardly seems there could even be room for “holes.” And yet, they’re there:  those spaces between what we’re doing and what it all really means.  It isn’t always easy to acknowledge that our observance of holidays – those days we hold sacred and dear – could have holes, could be incomplete.  But in the busy-ness, it’s easy to rush past meaning in our efforts to just get it all done.  How many times, for instance, have you pulled out the Christmas decorations before the Thanksgiving dishes were even dry, and then spent New Year’s Day packing them all away in a hurry to “get the house back to normal”?  Did you get to enjoy them, remembering the trip to Mexico where you purchased the tiny bird ornament made of clay?  Or what about thinking of how your parents lit the candles on this very same menorah? Or was getting them put out and then put away just another chore on your to-do list?

Can we fill the holes? Perhaps. And perhaps focusing on the holiness of our holidays is a way to do so.  Regardless of your tradition, holidays in this season are all holy in some way. (I’m assuming that’s where the word holiday came from, in the first place!)  Beyond the decorating, shopping, cooking and parties, there are – to borrow the phrase – the reasons for the season.  If we put first the true meaning of our holidays, the real reason we have them in the first place, our priorities become clear, making it easier for us to follow suit with our actions.

We might do this in very simple ways – reading and meditating on sacred texts, attending services with family and friends, spending some time working with a favorite charity, spending time in nature, breathing in the grandeur, or just stopping and breathing and listening – being attentive, regardless of where we are.  We can bring our focus back to what it is that makes our holidays holy.  Can’t we?

That’s a tall order – celebrating the true and holy bases for our holidays and still take care of the shopping and wrapping and party planning.  Can we possibly do all of that and remain whole ourselves?  How do we make it to January 1st with the energy to move into a new year with excitement and purpose?

What if we don’t have to do it all?  Try making a “Not to Do” list this year.  Include those things that you’ve felt pressured to take care of in the past, but that you really don’t enjoy and that aren’t even critical to your celebration of the holiday. Then, don’t do them.

In his book, “Hundred Dollar Holiday: the Case for a More Joyful Christmas,” author Bill McKibben writes, “The reason the holidays are wonderful is because there remains a residual set of traditions from before hyper-consumerism, of being together with friends and family, and doing things like singing carols that connect you with other people. Most of the best traditions of Christmas and other holidays pre-date the current commercial celebrations, and they’re among the things that we need to recapture even as we invent new celebrations.”

If we take an honest look at our priorities, we can probably separate those things we do out of a sense of obligation and duty from those in which we truly find joy.  It is then that we can celebrate the holy, wholly.

Always We Hope
~ Lao Tzu

Always we hope
someone else has the answer,
some other place will be better,
some other time,
it will turn out.

This is it.

No one else has the answer,
no other place will be better,
and it has already turned out.

At the center of your being,
you have the answer:
you know who you are and
you know what you want.

There is no need to run outside
for better seeing,
nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being:
for the more you leave it,
the less you learn.

Search your heart and see
the way to do is to be.

Abide at the center of your being.

It’s so easy to wander outside of our center and get bogged down by what we think we should do…can’t say…need to worry about. But through all of the messages we take in every day, the regret over things done and not done, the anxiety about what lies ahead of us, the one thing we really must do is be our full, true selves – the magnificent, human, spiritual, multi-faceted, creative, authentic beings that we are created to be.  It is only by being ourselves – abiding at the center of our being – that we have an opportunity to live full, rich, purposeful, joyful lives.

And it’s not just about us. We can fall into the trap of thinking that in being ourselves – honoring our dreams and desires and authenticity – that we are being selfish or self-centered. But I believe there’s a space in our world that is created just for us, a space in it that is ours and ours alone. It’s not only our right to be who we are, but it’s also our responsibility. It is only through being ourselves and filling our space that that our world has a chance to function the way it’s supposed to function. Think about that:  If we don’t fill “our space,” who else possibly can? Being ourselves – saying what we think, listening to and acting upon our voices within, honoring our dreams – is the only way that we can fill our unique space and fulfill our responsibility in our world.

The way to do is to be.

Really – it’s ok. We’re built for it. Facing up to fear takes courage, and most of us probably have more than we think.  The word courage comes from the French “coeur” or the Latin “cor,” meaning heart.  So there it is – our heart is our “courage muscle.”  We all have it and to make it stronger, we need to exercise it.

Just like putting in regular time at the gym keeps many of our other muscles strong, we can build our courage muscle too – by taking risks.  This doesn’t mean you have to climb a mountain or jump from an airplane (but if you’re moved to do so, by all means, do).  Risks can be large or small, and what might be a risk for me isn’t necessarily one for you.  But deciding and planning to take “risks of the heart” and then taking note of the outcome can help you to Learn about yourself, Love who and what you find in the learning, Live the life that only you can live, and then Lead the world, by joyful example, to do the same. Read more about how others are doing this at my RiskADay blog.

Notice that I didn’t say that you have to be “successful.”  In taking risks, we don’t always get the result that we want.  But trust me, rewards do come regardless of the outcome of taking the risk.  If we truly follow our hearts, there’s value simply in that.  “Cor” is also the root of the English word core.  Isn’t that fitting?  The desires of our heart are truly at the core of who we are.  Perhaps that’s why this can be difficult.

We live in an extremely risk-averse society, and we don’t like disappointment.  Making the conscious decision to take a risk isn’t easy.  We worry:  What if I fail?  What if I look foolish? What if I do get the result I want, and then find I don’t really want it?  This is where a strong courage muscle makes the difference.  The practice of risk-taking helps us to recognize that there will always be reward, rather than allowing ourselves to be stalled in worry and regret.  If we are open to the lesson to be learned simply from taking the risk, we learn more about ourselves, our desires, our limits, our dreams.  We exercise our courage muscle and it grows stronger.  We grow stronger.  The world grows stronger.  But that’s for another post, so stay tuned!

Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway. – Robert Anthony