This spring break was probably one of the best because I got a lot of work done but also got to spend A LOT of time with my parents (who I barely see) and old friends (who I barely see). I spent the majority of my spring break at my parents’ house, sleeping in my old twin size bed, looking up at my glow in the dark stars on the ceiling(remember those?!). My parents haven’t changed my old bedroom at all.

I went through old pictures, old clothes,etc. I helped my mom get rid of stuff, but it was also nice to kind of go back in time for a little bit. It was nice to flashback to happy memories of my childhood and teenage years. I even came across my 6th birthday invitation that my mom kept, Strawberry Shortcake, baby!

As I went through my childhood closet, I came across my first Backstreet Boys t-shirt. I discovered this group right after my grandmother died because the girl who’s parents rented out my grandmother’s house loved them (The Backstreet Boys came to Europe MANY years before they came to the US). I would listen to their songs over and over again for comfort through losing my grandmother at the age of nine. Then, when my first kiss crushed my heart, I listened to them over and over again. When I was older and couldn’t find a job I listened to them over and over again. When my exfiance and I didn’t work out I listened to them over and over again. Their voices and incredibly optimistic, sappy lyrics some how give me comfort and always have. Some people might say oh yeah they have catchy lyrics, and a good beat. It’s more than that for me, there are the happy memories I have attached to them as well.

People make fun of me and usually laugh hysterically the second I say I’m still and always will be a HUGE Backstreet Boys fan. I realized there’s no shame in having a musical group, whoever they are, that you listen to on repeat when times are a little hard for you, whatever the reasons, and no matter who the musical group is. With time, it also hit me that it doesn’t matter that people make fun of me even though 90% of the population (including men I date) hate them because that’s ok, I won’t ask them to join a BSB fan club.

The song below is from 1995. The first 10 seconds are too cheesy even for me, but I still love it and if you actually listen to it, it gets MUCH better. I am not ashamed to say that I know practically EVERYTHING about this group and their music. I can tell you which songs they wrote (yes they HAVE written some of their own songs), what musical instruments they play,words to all their songs, where they’re from,etc.

So it’s 16 years later for this song and I can honestly say that this song still helps me because it supports me in my belief that one day the heartbreak will end and I will meet someone who couldn’t imagine living with out me.

What musical group/song/CD comforts you? Don’t have one? Never tried it? You should, they even have musical therapy for patients who have been through traumatic events. (I know, I know, who are they you ask, but seriously, try it!)

I love. I deeply love. I love the people in my life so much that when I lose them, my heart, happiness, soul and spirit temporarily go into hibernation. Luckily I’m blessed that when I’m in those moments where I just get to indulge in the love I have for the people in my life, I feel it to the core of who I am.

I dedicate this song to everyone I love, you know who you are. Yes, on bad days, I do sing the song to myself.

I love happy accidents. Happy accidents produce friendships, job opportunities, artistic inspirations, new food discoveries, and sometimes even love…

I felt free, at peace, liberated and understood as I listened to this song. Hope you like it too.
P.S. I was going to play the version where you see her singing but I didn’t want you distracted by her pink hair and nose ring (which at one time in my life I had as well, lil crazy coincidence there Ani!)

Ricky Nelson – Garden Party
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Then, I found the video for the song and John Mayer gives a little speech beforehand. All I have to say: I am still obsessed with this song and touché John Mayer.

Sometimes I really do think my life is in a tv series with a weekly or daily theme.

I have forgiven and people say they’ve forgiven me. Sometimes, people say they “can’t” forgive or don’t want to move past the past. Sadly, even if forgiveness is there, no one can erase the past though. What experiences can I and other people move past and which experiences can we not move past?

Beautiful, beautiful song I found to express what I’m feeling…

It’s kind of crazy how absolutely wonderful it feels to hold another person or have another person hold you.

A simple hug.

I grew up having numerous hugs every day, all day long, yes even in highschool and college. It’s strange to not have that anymore.

I love the feeling of holding my godson, Benjamin, especially when he’s asleep, and just soaking up all his wonderfulness. I talk to him and tell him how much I love him, how I’ll always be there for him, and how precious he is.

I love when my parents hug me and for just a second I have the sense of no worries.

When my sister Diana hugs me, I feel the overwhelming feeling of the most love I’ve ever felt. I think she loves me more than a human being can love another human being, if that makes any sense. I’m a very blessed girl.

I wish I could flip a switch and have hugs be more acceptable in our society. There’s one employee at a company who gives so many hugs he practically creeps out one of my friends and myself, but a part of me is envious that he gets so many hugs every day. Most people might think, aw he’s so sweet giving hugs all the time, when in fact, he’s getting hugs!

So, here are some warm whispers….because warm whispers of love are just as precious as hugs and cuddles….

Friend hugs

I love this song, because it feels so good to be reminded, yeah that’s right, it was always in us to begin with. Did you hear that ladies?