Luck was on my site (That’s what I’m calling the 3 way stop) which I knew would bring him to a dead stop right in front of me.

I got a fun picture to share with the girls when they came out of the shop.  I didn’t think much of it till I ran across that photo a week or so ago.  I came up to UC Irvine from Tucson three days ago and brought my Dad along to visit.  When we went through Laguna Beach I mentioned seeing the Google car down that side street.

Today I decided to check google maps to see if I could find myself standing on the street.

There are so many good words that we don’t use anymore.  I won’t go into the dumbing down of the education system or society.  Heck, my spell checker returns an error on dumbing so maybe that’s another word that needs . . .  never mind.

Consternation

a sudden, alarming amazement or dread that results in utter confusion; dismay.

Are we so bombarded with visual images of the global horrors which are now brought to us on a daily basis that we have been numbed to the point where nothing suddenly alarms or confuses us?

I think consternation is too close to sounding like constipation.  Which in reality a good dose of consternation could quickly resolve constipation.

new year's day 2012

Spent the day in short’s sandals and a T shirt.  What a beautiful day in every way.  I’m writing this on the back patio as the sun is getting ready to set.  The grass is green (two shades of green actually) and the air is still and quiet.

The temp is in the high 70′s.  The year is off to a great start.

Happy New Year – Welcome 2012

Here is wishing both of the readers of this Tired Guy Chronicle a Great 2012 and a bright future for many years to come.

The Mayan Calendar

Personally, I don’t think they predicted the end of the world.  I think that was the biggest stone they could find and ran out of room.  Somewhere in tiny script (the important stuff is always in tiny script) there is probably a line saying something like:

“To be continued . . .”

The Green Garden

I like automatic. There’s enough hand watering to do with all the plants on the back patio. I don’t need to be running a hose over the lawn everyday to water the garden. Therefore, I’m extending the existing drip system to form a circle around the outer edge of the garden where I’ll add a series of 180 sprinkler heads which I’ll direct at the various plant beds on the garden.

I know from time to time I’ll do a deep soak with the garden hose; that I can handle. This way I won’t have to be dragging the hose back and forth over the lawn to the garden, which would stop happening after a few days. This means I would just leave it out there all the time, then I’d have this groove in the grass and have to move the hose every time I needed to mow the grass.

If I don’t get the hose in the exact same spot it would make another groove and I’d not be happy. So I make it so I won’t need that hose more than once a week for a deep watering.

The garden is actually two gardens, one in each end of the  back yard.  In the photo above is the NE garden protected by the house and spa on the patio.  It has lettuce, Arugula, and Spinach.  I call it the “Greens” garden.

No I don’t know who said it. (No I’m not interested in who said it, but go ahead and share it if you want)

When they say it is all downhill from here, it’s a metaphor. The older I get the faster the days go rushing by. But that doesn’t mean it is downhill; far from it, it seems like many things are getting harder every day.

I was in my early teens when I saw Art Linkletter talking about his age. He said,

I’m at the age that when I bend over to pick something up off the floor I ask myself if there’s anything else down here I need before I stand back up.”

Now I’m probably older than he was when it said it. And I am asking myself that question often.

When I’m scooping my change up to put in my pocket I sometimes drop a dime on the floor. I could just leave it there, but instead I drop a quarter next to it.

Why? Because I’m not bending over for dime.

A little Tired Guy Humor

That would be a call for a drum roll and rim shot if it weren’t true. If there is just one dime dropped I add another on the floor. However, that is a rare occasion as I often have at least two to four coins that escape during a coin scoop. Maybe I should ask the government to stop making them round.

Not round is a good way of leaving the topic open for options. The government like options.

We have had a few Not Round coins, that were Close to Round which haven’t done very well in circulation. I don’t think it has been the shape at issue, more like the face on the coin. It seems coins (and bills for that matter) are masculine in nature. Guys are on most forms of currency in this country, when we try for the softer side of the gender map the currency tends to be a flop.

I like dollar coins, but handing over a Susan B Anthony simply doesn’t seem to be right. Go Figure, I don’t know why, maybe a tired guy issue, if so there are a lot more tired guys and girls out there than just me.

Back to Coins Not Round

Therefore, I don’t think coins not being round would be an issue as long as we don’t put feminine features or names to be associated with the coins.

A Martha Washington Dollar bill with Martha in a bonnet on it . . . nope.

#justsayin

Stay Off !!!

The dang cats have the whole house to roam around in, well almost, we don’t let them in the bedrooms. But the rest of the place is there’s to enjoy.  They have their beds, they trade off sleeping in them.  I don’t know if there’s a schedule or just king of the hill approach to who get’s which bed.

That should be enough; but it isn’t, for some reason they have both decided that the best place to take a nap is in my chair.

That is the one place I don’t want them taking a nap.  I don’t want them sitting in my chair, I don’t want them jumping on my chair, and most of all I don’t want them tearing up the arms and seat of my chair (which they tend to do when they are in my chair)

They can sit in the tub, they can sit on the toilet, they can nap in the kitchen sink if they want.  But just stay off my chair.

Energy Efficient Seat Warmer

But, I don’t want a warm seat.  I know a lot of women want that feature for their seat.  They want to have nice warm buns in the winter.  But I’ve never heard any guy say that a seat warmer was a feature they liked used or wanted.

Maybe it is an anatomical difference, maybe its genetic, I don’t know, but I do know that when I come into the office and sit in my chair I like it cold and refreshing.  No guy likes a warm beer, they want it cold and refreshing, that’s how I want my chair.

Therefore, kitty cats, get the plastic bag on top of the chair when I leave the office.

"But Dave, it makes the chair too hot. . ."

Exactly my point.

Laugh if you want, then go get the shop vac.

Try not to think about it

Just saying the words kidney stones can make one cringe and cross their legs like crossing your fingers or knocking on wood.

Once you have had one, passed one, and recovered you know you never, ever, want another one.  But we don’t get to choose.  They form and exit on their own schedule.

Funny thing is, Dad’s 27 years older than I am and in the past couple of months has had his first kidney stones.  I on the other hand had my first almost 20 years ago.

I’ve given birth to three, each is a little different, each made a special memory.

The First Little Stone

Oh God, I wanted to die.  Just let me die.  The pain was incredible.  I was double over and throwing up like I had the flu, only worse.  I called my best friend Scott Riley, he asked a few questions then said “Oh, you have a kidney stone”.  Doc Riley wasn’t really a doctor, he never played one on TV either.  No Doc Riley had passed his fair share of stones over the years and was all to familiar with the signs.

“Get to the emergency room and don’t let them give you Demerol, start right off with Morphine.”

I did as instructed and was glad I had.  The Morphine removed the pain and I could breath again.  That little stone was almost done causing pain by the time I got to the hospital, taking it’s good ole time traveling the narrow passage way to the “Great Room” also known as the bladder.  Like a spelunker clawing it’s way through the narrowest of passage ways and backing up a flood gate as it blocked all liquid seeking exit to the great room.  Finally entering the great room the rush of fluid behind released the pressure and life began to return to normal.

I was home in a few hours and much relieved that such great pain and misery could leave as quickly as it had come.  I do remember on other interesting side effect from that first visit.  That afternoon I decided to test my blood sugar to see what effect if any the IV had on my sugar levels.  When the needle hit my finger to draw the drop of blood needed for the test blood squirted out my finger like a fire hose.  (It wasn’t as gory as it sounds in print).

Two Years Later Stone Two

I just love it when your kidneys take turns.  I knew at once as I was bent over in the ditch along the roadside in front of the new church building under construction that it was a kidney stone.  This time I couldn’t drive.

I got a ride to the hospital and the emergency room.  Same as before, skip the pills, go straight to the Morphine.  The male nurse that was giving the Morphine in my IV asked how much I wanted.  I said “Just enough to take the edge off the pain”.  He put about 1/3 of the shot in my IV and I headed toward the ceiling.

Not an out of body experience, but certainly a quick removal of the pain.

“More?”
“No, that’s enough”

Wheeled down to x-ray and the story was the same.  Stone was almost in the Great Room.  It would pass in about 15 minutes or less.  Twenty minutes later I was about to get dressed and have the IV removed when I was approached by “the guy with the needle” in his hand.

“You want the rest of this?  It’s all yours.”

He had the kind of grin on his face like he knew from experience exactly what was left in that syringe and the total out of body experience that was free for the taking.

“No thanks, I’m fine.”
“Okay, Your choice.”

Two More Years – Stone Three – Ten Below Zero

It was a cold night in December in Iowa.  My son Josh and I were headed to visit my folks here in Tucson.  I wasn’t feeling too good as we left the house but it was time to go.  We were making the trip at night.

We were about 60 miles from home when we had to stop at a rest area.  I was getting sicker and as we were leaving, I recognized the signs.
“Crap,  Josh, I’m passing a kidney stone”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Drive, If I pass out, keep driving.  If you can’t get me awake in a hour or so, find a hospital”

I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and held on.  It was a rough couple of hours, but history had told me that if I could get through the next couple of hours it would probably pass on its own.  I’d just do it without pain killers (or a hospital bill) this time.

We got to Oklahoma City sometime after midnight.  It was still 4 below zero there.  I had hoped it would be warmer.  I was in quite a bit of pain, but knew the worst was over (at least that’s what I told myself)

I kept thinking it had to get warmer soon, we were dropping south with every mile.  It didn’t.  We pulled into Hatch, NM and it was just above freezing.  We gassed up and I was able to drive from there.

When we pulled into my folks place it had been 22 hrs.  It was a rough trip.  I was sore for a couple of days.  It took me three days to warm up.

That was the last one; it’s been 12 years since, (knock on wood, or anything else).  I moved to Tucson a couple of years later.

You never forget those things. They make lasting memories.

Dad’s home, glad to done with them (for now).

What prompted this 3 am. conundrum?

Why is it that when my wife gets hot in the middle of the night, I wake up with no covers?