Tunay Na Mahal

#NOMOREWAR ☮️

2026-03-11T11:28:00.004-04:00

NO MORE WAR ☮️

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Welcome to America...

2026-01-26T18:45:00.018-05:00

I haven't utilized this blog in a long time. As I've gotten older and the world has changed, I want to share less and less about my life with strangers. I deactivated most of my social media last year.

This blog originally began as a place to record the story of our long-distance relationship during the early internet years (2003), how we navigated the immigration system before and after getting married in 2009. With the help of our immigration lawyer, we were able to bring F.B. to the United States from the Philippines as a permanent resident in 2011.

And then we became complacent. Life trucked along. There wasn't any rush to change his immigration status. Life in the United States felt monotonous, predictable, safe. Until it wasn't anymore...

In 2020, before the pandemic and widespread shutdowns, F.B. and I finally decided to submit his application for naturalization in the United States. In June 2021 he became a naturalized United States citizen, after taking the oath at an immigration office here in Philadelphia.

Between the pandemic and four years of an authoritarian president, things changed. I have never felt this level of fear and uncertainty as an American, as a former federal employee. Even after 9/11 people came together, we weren't this divided as a country. Now it seems like cruelty is normalized. If you have empathy or compassion for other people different from you, there's something wrong with you. When did this happen? When did we let political sides dictate our humanity?

Now it’s 2026. We’ve been married for nearly 17 years, and F.B. has been a U.S. citizen since 2021... and I'm still scared every single day since the 2024 elections. I worry that something, somewhere, is wrong in a government database, a mistake or typo that could have ICE knocking at our door, or worrying they will conduct raids at my husbands workplace, or pull him over in a traffic stop because of his skin color or Filipino accent. We scanned his naturalization paperwork so he can carry it with him, but what guarantees they would even look at it? This administration detains first and asks questions later.

I have flashbacks of the World War II history I've read about since I was 11. Our class had to read Anne Frank's diary for a book report. As an adult I dived into countless memoirs and history books about what happened during Hitlers reign. The similarities. History always repeats itself, but I never thought the whole world would be looking in abject horror at what's happening in the United States right now. How did we get here? Where has our humanity gone as a nation? None of this normal!

Americans are being killed in the streets by federal employees. Immigrants, families, children, people who are following the law, attending their hearings and working with immigration lawyers are being detained, torn from their homes, schools and families. Deported to countries they are not from, or held in crowded prison camps. All of this is happening without due process. People. Humans. Disappeared.

We're only twenty-six days into 2026 and now two Americans are deceased. Renee Good and Alex Pretti. Murdered by ICE in broad daylight. They were true American patriots who stood up against injustice and for the dignity of others. They deserve justice & will never be forgotten.

We are so fortunate to have people willing to put themselves at risk to witness and document the abuses being carried out by ICE and other government agencies under this administration. The right to protest an unjust government is protected by the First Amendment of our constitution. If no one speaks up, everyone is complicit.

Please email your Senators and Representatives, protest safely if you can, register to vote, and vote in local, state, and federal elections. If you’re outside the country, please boycott the United States. We need your help!

I don't know where we go from here. It seems like every day there's some other new atrocity. Since last year, I've been in a cocoon here at home. Terrified to go anywhere. Only leaving when necessary.

Welcome to America...

Credit: C Whisenhunt. Death of Liberty & Justice.

Edited to add: I ordered F.B. & I these discrete emergency whistle keychains on Etsy from: 3DPrintedDelight in Urbana, IL. With everything going on in the United States, you never know when you may need one. Gives me a bit of peace...

Unprecedented times...

2025-02-19T20:01:00.000-05:00

If anyone needs to get in contact with me you can find me on Bluesky. I've deactivated Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. Stay safe friends/family. Please pray for the United States.

We're All Mad Here...

2023-04-30T00:05:00.006-04:00

Alice in Wonderland has always been my favorite fairy tale. ❤️ When I was a kid I was obsessed with the TV movie.

I'd play dress up in one of my old Christmas dresses, a red & white polka dot dress, similar to the one TV Alice wore, and when my Mom was in the kitchen I'd jump off the stairs onto the sofa below, pretending I was Alice falling down the rabbit hole, my dress puffing out like a parachute. 😂

(Photo of me in my red dress from 1988.)

I've been looking for an antique copy of Alice in Wonderland and was lucky enough to find a 1920 copy from a shop in the UK for $16!

The dodo bird illustration was always one of my favorites. I was terrified of the Cheshire Cat as a kid, but I love him now.

CDV: (1895-1897) Girl with her Bicycle

2020-07-01T04:48:00.006-04:00

I apologize, this photograph has been sitting in my draft posts for about a year. It is of a teenage girl around late 1800's. I love her puffed sleeves, it gives me Anne of Green Gables vibes. (Anne so wanted a dress with puffed sleeves!)

Speaking of which, did anyone see the Netflix series Anne with an E? I'm super disappointed it was canceled in Season 3, it was such a good show with great actors! The girl who played Anne, (Amybeth Mcnulty) was the entire essence of who Anne of Green Gables was! It was a Anne for this century covering multiple issues: bullying, abuse, racism, feminism, LGBT+, etc. I'm a sucker for any historical drama and I'm really sad it was canceled. (Maybe, sign the petition fans have created to bring the show back!)

I purchased this CDV off eBay from a seller in England. There was no info on the back, but her clothing suggests late 1800's, possibly 1895-1897. Her outfit is actually made for cycling! I recently obtained a reprint of the 1897 Sears, Roebuck & Co catalog and I've scanned a few pages from that (below) showing all the bicycle equipment you could buy in 1897.

Outfits for cycling. Gentlemen had their own outfits, with knicker shorts. The bicycle suit for ladies had a skirt that was shorter than the dresses they would wear every day.

A few of the ladies bicycles for sale in the 1897 Sears, Roebuck & Co catalog.

The lamp on the bicycle in the photograph is a carbide lamp. You can see some similar ones for sale in the 1897 catalog, it was fueled with acetylene gas. A few models (above) in the Sears catalog were fueled by kerosene.

RPPC: Pets in the early 1900's.

2020-07-01T03:58:00.004-04:00

Please see my previous post Pets in the 19th Century for even more photographs!

These are both antique photo postcards (RPPC) from around the early to mid 1900's that were each purchased at separate times. Both postcards were blank on the back so I have no way of properly identifying the people in them. It's lovely to see pets were cherished members of the family even 100 years ago.

1911 Postcard: Lorraine Venus Austwick

2020-06-29T22:09:00.002-04:00

Long time, no post. I hope everyone is holding up during the whirlwind of a year 2020 has been so far.

This is another antique photo postcard (RPPC) I purchased on eBay recently, of a little girl dressed up as leaves for a school program. The postcard says:

Jan 29, 1911

Dear friend Laura, I send this card for Lorraine, she was in a (intramural? instrumental?) and had to play just as the leaves came down, and she wanted you to have one but they are not very good.

Say, Mrs Tompson told me you sent for us to come visit there, but I moved and so did she and neither one got the letter or card in time. I am 2745 Gladys Ave near California, Van Buren so come and see me if you come to the city. Minnie A.

I love when there's just enough info on antique postcards or photographs that you're able to identify the people on them. I did some research online and was able to figure out Minnie A, the author of the postcard was Minnie Austwick, and her daughter was Lorraine Venus Austwick. They lived in Chicago at the time the postcard was written and Lorraine would have been around 7-8 years old in 1911.

9/11 #neverforget

2019-09-11T05:30:00.000-04:00

*I originally published this blog in 2009. I've decided to update it for the 18th anniversary.

I can't believe it's been 18 years since 9/11. I was saying to my husband the other day, that we can't believe all the children born in 2001 after 9/11 are now 18 years old. We have a whole new generation that never experienced the fear of that morning 18 years ago. I'll never forget watching all of the coverage on the news... I would sit up late at night watching live CNN coverage of Ground Zero, crying.

I just wanted to take a moment to blog and share my personal experience.

In November of 2001. My churches youth group went up to New York for volunteer work. It was my very first trip to New York. We spent the whole afternoon putting bags together of supplies for NYC firefighters families.

(I was tearing my closest apart trying to find the laminated name tags we wore on that day as volunteers. I was hoping to scan it and add it to this blog. I have an awful habit of putting small memory items in odd places. It could be in a wallet, the back of a photo album, a box. I really wanted to find it, but I couldn't locate it. I'm sure when I'm not looking for it, I'll come across it).

Later in the evening we went to Ground Zero. Actually standing there looking at the wreckage and devastation. I'll never forget the jagged metal, the foggy air, the fenced off memorial wall that stretched for blocks & blocks. It was different from seeing it on the television. It was real. It was very humbling and like nothing I had ever experienced. I'll never forget it.

(Similar to what I saw that night standing there. This is burned in my memory. Source.)

It was a life changing experience for all Americans. Especially for the younger generations. To feel that our freedom & security was violated. Our innocence taken away. We will never forget.

Arrow indicates where I am in the photo. (With my eyes closed, lol.) In Times Square with my youth group in 2001 heading towards Ground Zero. Photo courtesy of: Nina Krych.

CDV Photographs: Pets in the 19th Century

2019-02-20T08:03:00.000-05:00

In some of the more rare carte de visite photographs, owners posed with their pets. These are a few CDV & cabinet cards with animals that I've collected.

CDV photo circa 1870-1880. Posing with their pet pony/horse.

CDV Photo circa 1870. Posing with her little dog.

CDV Photo circa 1880. Mummy & Fluffy is written on the back,
the other writing is hard to make out.

CDV Photo circa 1880. A photo anomaly: the dog moved in her lap as the photo was taken
and his head appears to be missing!

Cabinet Card. Photo circa 1870-1880. Posing with her dog.

If you were ever curious of the size difference between a Cabinet Card and a Carte de Visite, you can see here how much larger the Cabinet Card is next to the CDV.

CDV Photograph: Pince Nez Glasses 1870-1880

2019-02-17T02:32:00.001-05:00

While looking for CDV (carte de visite) photographs, I noticed all the wacky antique glasses people used to wear. I made it my mission to try and obtain one for my CDV album and my patience paid off recently when I was able to get this photograph.

The photo is circa 1870-1880, and the studious girl from Massachusetts is wearing a pair Pince Nez glasses. There would have been a chain and a clip to secure to her dress and the glasses stayed on by pinching the bridge of her nose. While they definitely don't look very stylish today, I'm sure they were popular back in the day.

Here's an example of antique Pince Nez Glasses from Pinterest:

Post Mortem CDV: Nevada G Estes & Baby John 1880

2019-02-17T02:19:00.001-05:00

I'm still collecting carte de visite photographs, otherwise known as CDVs. There's certain subjects I've especially been trying to collect, including a post mortem.

Post-Mortem photography was very common back in the 19th century and while it may seem distasteful or creepy to us nowadays, it was quite normal in the 1800's. Photography was rare and often expensive. Back then the only photograph you owned would most likely have been your wedding portrait; so often, a post mortem was the only photograph of a loved one that a family may have had to remember them by, if they passed away.

I was intrigued by this particular photograph because of the name scrawled on the back:

I did some digging on Ancestry.com and discovered Nevada G Estes (born 1851), was married to John W Estes. In the 1880 Missouri census, they had a little baby, John Estes who was 7 1/2 months old at the time and is listed as being born October 1879.

Unfortunately there were no records for the 1890 census, as the records were destroyed in a fire.

The next census that showed Nevada and her husband was in 1900. (Their surname was misspelled on the census, which is quite common when you start looking into census records). Little John Estes is no longer listed in the household. Instead James H Estes, who was born in 1886 is listed as their living son. James, passed away in 1929.

From looking at other records, it appears Nevada had 7 children over her lifetime, but only 3 lived. Only James Henry is listed on findagrave.com, but I was finally able to link little baby John Estes to his mother's memorial page. His grave is unknown.

Finding out Linthicum Maryland is named after my ancestors.

2018-07-04T11:44:00.001-04:00

My 6 month Ancestry membership expired today (and no, this isn't an advertisement post). I've spent the past year researching my family tree and genealogy more deeply. I've found a lot of interesting facts about my ancestors, took the Ancestry DNA test, and even found some skeletons in the closet! The earliest ancestors I've been able to trace, actually have a community named after them: Linthicum, Maryland!

Linthicum was my late Nana's maiden name. Her father Dabney Linthicum was descended from a line that goes all the way back to 1658, when Thomas Linthicum Sr. arrived in America and settled in Maryland, Anne Arundel County. He passed away in 1701. Through his son Thomas Jr. our line descended:

Thomas Linthicum Jr.

Edmund Linthicum Sr.

Edmund Linthicum Jr.

John T Linthicum

William H Linthicum

George W. Linthicum (My Great Great Grandfather)

Dabney O Linthicum (My Great Grandfather)

Dabney's Daughter: Dorothy V. Linthicum, (My late Grandmother)

(My public ancestry family tree can be found here).

Neat Facts:

John T Linthicum married Francis Dabney in 1816. Her maiden name later became my Great Grandfathers first name.

Hill C Linthicum the brother of my great great grandfather George Linthicum, was a famous Architect in Virginia and North Carolina.

There's a genealogy book: Geneology of the Linthicum and Allied Families that was published about the Linthicum Family in 1936, written by Matilda P Badger.
Our family is distantly related to Johns Hopkins, Philanthropist. We share the same early ancestor Thomas Linthicum Sr. Only his line was through Thomas's daughter Mary. Our line is through her brother Thomas Jr. (Page 83 in the Linthicum Genealogy book).

My Great Grandfather: Dabney O Linthicum & Great Grandmother: Nellie Capper.

My Nana Dorothy V Linthicum as a teenager, with her Mother Nellie.

The earliest record I've found of Thomas Linthicum Sr, a document stating Edward Selby transported Thomas here on a ship to Maryland from England in 1658. I'm not sure if Thomas was indentured to Edward. (The Linthicum surname was also spelled Lincicomb, Linscombe, etc; in old records).

The burial record of Thomas Linthicum Sr in 1701.

My Grandmother Dorothy V Scaife (d.2014)

& my Grandfather William.

Pictures of me with my Grandmother

& Grandfather over the years.

1864-1866 CDV: Civil War Photograph Tax

2018-06-10T20:54:00.002-04:00

I've been wanting to add a civil war revenue stamped carte de visite to my collection, and this photograph kept speaking to me. I just love the unique pattern on her dress sleeves.

In 1864, Congress enacted a revenue tax on photographs to raise money for the civil war. Any photographs from that brief period (1864-1866) will usually have a revenue stamp on the back of the photograph, sometimes canceled with a handwritten date or a scribble in ink.

Her hair is styled with a snood, which was in fashion at the time. It's very similar to a hair net.

I'm not sure what is written on the back of this CDV, if you have any ideas, please leave them below in the comments. It's most likely a name. I sort of see 'Paris', so that's what I've decided to call the girl in the photograph. Unfortunately someone put tape on the photograph at some point in it's 150+ year history.

The pattern on her sleeves intrigues me the most. The cross hatch, slash, almost hash tag pattern. I've seen similar styles on other civil war dresses. My friend Maryann thinks this sort of design was probably only worn by union states, which makes sense, as the photograph was taken in New York.

Similar examples:

Source: Pinterest

Source @civilwarmonitor

If any civil war buffs out there know if this design means anything in particular I would love to hear from you.

Sid, Sall, & Salt Water Taffy- 1914 postcard (Atlantic City NJ)

2018-05-10T19:55:00.000-04:00

Atlantic City, New Jersey. The beach, the shore. In 1914, a little girl named, Sid (possibly Sidney) wrote this postcard to her friend Sally in Minneapolis.

The wicker rolling chair that she is posing in, is still a popular boardwalk pastime in Atlantic City to this day, and real photo postcards made a popular souvenir in the early Twentieth century. We can only guess who is pictured with Sidney. Her Mother?, Aunt?, Sister?, or the Betty mentioned in the postcard? With no last name it's almost impossible to trace them.

April 1914: Dear Sall, I got a box of salt water taffy and a Campbell kid like yours, only with a blue dress and Betty and I had a Easter hunt. I'm going to get some grape juice now. Lots of love, Sid.

The Campbell Kid mentioned in the postcard is of course, a Campbell Soup Kid! Campbells was founded in New Jersey back in 1869. Their Campbell Kid advertisements became incredibly popular in the early 1900's, & all sorts of merchandise, (including dolls) were sold.

I also love the mention of salt water taffy! Growing up in Philadelphia, my family always went down the shore every summer. (We frequented Ocean City, NJ). I always loved stopping at Shrivers and buying a box of their amazing salt water taffy, (or pistachio fudge!) You can even order it online. My husband and I ordered a box for Valentine's Day this year.

To see more posts like this check out my HistoricalSeries category.

Little Miss Priss- 1860's CDV (Ottawa Illinois)

2018-05-09T19:02:00.001-04:00

Even in early photography, there were times children didn't want to cooperate, as this little girls face reveals. She looks to be on the verge of a tantrum. It could sometimes take up to a minute for the exposure to take, so it was probably hard for her to hold her pose. I love her expression, it's priceless! It's rare to find such an expressive photograph from the early 19th century. I nicknamed her 'Little Miss Priss'. She looks to be around three to four years old. This carte de visite photograph is circa 1860-1870. It was taken in Ottawa, Illinois.

I just had to make her into a meme, lol! ;) Feel free to share!

I recently acquired this antique CDV photo album. The front cover is inscribed 1865.

To see more posts like this check out my HistoricalSeries category.

Historical Series (#10) CDV 'Carte de Visite' photographs 1870-1890's

2018-02-19T01:05:00.003-05:00

Carte de visite photographs were popular around 1859-1890. They were eventually replaced in popularity by the larger style, Cabinet Card.

Carte de visite literally means "Visiting Card". CDV photgraphs are no larger than a modern business card and were meant to be traded between friends. They are made out of a heavy card stock, with the photo mounted on the front. The photographers studio is usually printed on the back of the CDV card.

A little boy and his 19th century hoop,

used for hoop rolling.

An extremely interesting (or slightly disturbing) taxidermy rabbit pull toy.

Dressed in Sunday's finest.

Her cheeks have been tinted on the photograph.

Their small size makes them quite collectible. CDV albums of friends & family were popular in the 19th century. I've recently started my own CDV photo collection.

Historical Series:

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Historical Series (#9) Mourning Brooch, Samuel & Lydia Cutler- drowned in shipwreck June 28 1832

2018-02-18T07:58:00.002-05:00

I'm back after a bit of a hiatus. I'm still collecting vintage and antique items. I have so many stories I want to share about some of the objects I've collected. Today is an antique mourning brooch.

I've wanted to own a piece of Victorian mourning jewelry ever since I discovered they existed. I used to check out the 'Art of Mourning' website, admiring the jewelry and the stories behind them. Mourning and hairwork jewelry goes back to middle ages, though during the 19th century it seemed to flourish. (source) Most mourning pieces use a lock of the deceased's hair in the jewelry. Some pieces are very elaborate while others are more simple, using a braided lock of hair.

When I saw this mourning brooch, I didn't want to pass it up once I saw the back was engraved with initials and a date of death! I did a little digging on Ancestry and Google and came up with quite a bit of information. The backstory to this mourning brooch is absolutely fascinating, yet tragic.

Samuel Cutler (79) and his wife Lydia (63) were on board the 'Rob Roy' schooner, June 28th of 1832 (source). They were headed to Portland Maine from Newburyport in Massachusetts where they lived. A storm squall came up, capsizing the ship. (source) Five passengers were trapped in the cabin and drowned. Samuel & his wife Lydia were among the victims, the bodies were recovered and laid to rest. I imagine one of their family members had this mourning brooch made after theirs deaths to remember them by. (Some documents on Ancestry mention they had 7 children. Lydia was Samuels 2nd wife).

It appears there's two different colors of hair braided in the middle of the brooch, so I'm assuming it is from locks of both Samuel and Lydia's hair. The brooch is incredibly tiny, it was probably worn at the throat pinned to a dress. There are jet beads, though one is missing and a few have cracks, and tiny seed pearls, though some are discolored with age.

My favorite part of this brooch is the engraving on the back: 'S & LC of June 28 1832'

The braid of hair in the center of the brooch,

The grave of Samuel & Lydia Cutler. (source)

This document was found on Ancestry. It mentions both Samuel and Lydia. (source)

An obituary for Samuel & Lydia's daughter. They are both mentioned in the notice. (source)

Samuel Cutler was a clerk and merchant during his life. There is a book that comes up on Google with a journal he kept on board a prison ship. (source)

I hope you found the story of this mourning brooch as interesting as I have.

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Christalena ♥

2017-12-16T16:46:00.000-05:00

Christina Joy Marsdens Memorial Fund

This is the hardest post I have ever had to write. How do you even sit down and begin to write about someone that was so close to you? Not just cousins, but sisters. My cousin Chrissy lost her battle with cancer December 3rd, 2017. She was only 33 years old.

I was two years old when my cousin Christina Joy was born July of 1984. Our mothers are sisters. From that moment, she was my best friend and sister.

Countless birthday parties, halloween, family parties, holidays, sleep overs. I spent many sleepovers at my Aunts house, even when we were very young. Close up toothpaste, & Mr. Bubble are in my memories as well. Chrissy and I would stay up all night talking and giggling. My Aunt would get woken up and come into the room to quiet us and I remember Chrissy and I pretending we were asleep! I'm quite sure my Aunt knew differently, as we would just start right back up after she left the room.

Chrissy had a canopy bed growing up. I don't know why, but I remember being around 6-8 years old (Chrissy 2 years younger), and us pretending there was a candy shop on the top of her canopy bed. We would jump on her bed trying to reach the candy.

I remember one time I spent the night over and Chrissy & I had woken up early. We looked out the window and it was snowing! We were so excited to go play in the snow later. When my Aunt woke up we were telling her about the snow outside. She looked outside and there was no snow, she thought we were teasing her because it was April Fools Day. I remember she was watching the news a little later and they had reported on the light snow, that had melted later in the morning. I do remember the times it actually snowed and we would go to the park near her house and go sledding.

I remember playing Barbies, comparing our Lip Smackers & Super Ball collections, playing Super Nintendo, watching morning cartoons and eating cereal at my cousins house. We would always talk and giggle while eating and my Aunt would tell us, "Don't laugh and eat, you're going to choke!" of course as kids we didn't believe her until the one morning Chrissy did choke on cereal. I'm pretty sure that scared us both, though we laughed about the story later as adults. I remember we had these Ninja Turtle plastic cereal bowls and I was in love with Raphael, and Chrissy was in love with Donatello, lol!

Chrissy and I were always close, though I know sometimes over the years we would have little "sisterly" fights and not speak for a few weeks. As kids and teens we would talk on the telephone for hours. And we both were each others pen-pals. I have a box full of letters from her starting from when she was 11-12 years old, written on Lisa Frank stationary.

We would chat on AOL, and mess around with SmarterChild ask him stupid questions, (which was like messing with Siri or Alexa for 90's teens). We would send each other long email surveys to fill out to get to know each other. We had Xanga Journals and Myspace. I remember we even wrote a novel through email together. About two cousins named Christalena & Sierra who shared a dorm at college together and their silly romantic adventures as college students. I would write one part, leave off on a cliff hanger and Chrissy would write the next part, emailing back and forth over a few months until it was done. I still have it, it's hilarious to look back on now.

Her nickname Christalena came from a MXPX song. It was a Christian punk band. She nicknamed me Sierra. We would even address letters, cards, or emails to each other with those names.

I remember being pre-teens we would get dropped off at the mall. Which we thought was the coolest thing ever, we felt like adults all on our own- (until we were picked up by her parents!) I remember us getting our ears pierced at Claire's or The Icing. Oogling things we couldn't afford from Delias*. Having Chinese food in the food court at the mall.

We would walk around her neighborhood, and sometimes my Aunt let us walk up County Line Rd to the Mandee's clothing store, Hallmark, RiteAid drug store. We would spend hours there. Chrissy later ended up working at the Hallmark when we were teenagers.

I taught her to drive in that parking lot. I had gotten my license at 19. I picked her up there one evening after her shift at Hallmark. She was all excited because she had just gotten her learners permit. Since I had been driving a year or two already, I asked if she wanted her first lesson. It was pretty late and the parking lot was mostly empty. She got into the drivers seat completely excited, while I explained a few things. She slammed her foot on the gas and sent us up two parking spaces. After we laughed about how she scared me, I was like, "Lightly... you hit the gas pedal lightly!" I would give her driving lessons after that, around her neighborhood and in a school parking lot after everyone had gone home. She used to scare me on her sharp turns, though!

She had the best sense of humor. She was always hyper and joyful and funny as hell, her laughter contagious. We would have the best times together. She had a sore throat one time and started speaking in this hoarse smokers voice with a Brooklyn accent, a character she named, "Georgina". She would talk in Georgina's voice and make up all these crazy stories for the character. She would have me and her sister Jessica cracking up. The last long day I spent with her right before Thanksgiving, still fighting, but getting weaker- she brought the Georgina voice back. Her husband Matt was like, "Who is Georgina?!" and laughing we had to explain.

I played guitar in my teens and I remember us making up funny songs and recording them on cassette, and then cracking up afterwards.

I remember one time when we were teenagers I was over her house and she was laughing about how you could make any book sound dirty. She started reading parts of 'A Walk to Remember' & 'Jane Eyre' in this knowing voice, trying to make the characters words into euphemisms. We were crying of laughter. She was just so silly.

As teens we attended each others church youth groups, went to Creation Music Festivals. We still had sleep overs, only staying up late now to put on our Noxzema face masks and chat about the boys we had crushes on, or play MASH and Mad Libs. Hanging out at the mall was still big on our list, discovering new makeup or nail polishes together.

We drove each other places, hung out at the mall, went to movies, concerts together. In 2007 we took a trip. Chrissy, Jessica and I went to Florida for a few days. It was a fun trip, despite the humidity, the sun burn and Chrissy being afraid of sharks in the ocean, lol. We had fun hanging out in the hotel room, ordering pizza late at night, talking, inside jokes, listening to music, dancing like goofs, watching Futurama. I'm glad we have those memories. All three of us have been close from childhood into adulthood.

Chrissy and I were both married the same year. 2009. She in November, me in December. I remember in 2003 when I had just started talking to my husband to be (online). Chrissy and I were going out to eat at Applebee's. We were listening to Maroon 5's first CD in my car, and I mentioned to her that a guy I was talking to had recommended it. She was the first person I told. I remember us sitting in the booth at Applebee's giggling. I had ordered some stir-fry dish and being that the guy I was talking to was from the Philippines, we were both like, "I wonder if he eats with chopsticks!?" I don't know, we were weird... (I can, he doesn't- btw, lol.)

And then she met Matt. And they fell in love so quickly. He was serving in Iraq at the time they were dating. She would show me his Facebook photos, or when I was over her house I would be there when she was Skyping with him, while he was overseas. I remember the first time I met him, my first impression was "Who is this hyper dude?" Haha. They were married in November 2009. They were absolute soul mates and meant to be together.

Matt was being relocated to Georgia because he was still in the Army. So shortly after their wedding they moved down there. Right before she moved away I remember one night, Chrissy, Jessica and I were laying in her driveway in North Wales looking up at the stars, I remember seeing my first shooting star.

It was tough being away from my best friend for 8 years, but we became even closer while she was away. We talked pretty much every day. Skype, email, text, Facebook messenger. We sent each other letters and gifts. Matt often worked nights and she would feel nervous alone, so we would chat late at night on messenger, share our days, and have the silliest conversations, or sometimes the deepest. We learned new things about each other that we had never known. In 2011 she had her son Matthew, who is the handsomest, silliest, most clever little 6 year old, you've ever met. The first time I met him in 2015 he kept saying, "What the catfish!?" :)

Our silly late night talks....

We weren't really able to visit each other, because of finances. When Kayleigh, Jessica's daughter was born in 2010, Chrissy flew home to spend time with her Mom and sisters. We got to have another sleepover at my house and I remember driving her to the airport the morning she went back to Georgia.

In December 2015, I was finally able to fly down to Georgia and spend some time with Chrissy, Matt and little Matthew, and her dog Max. It was the best trip. She took me around her little town, we went to a museum, we looked up at the stars in the Georgia mountains outside her house. We stayed up late, talking, laughing, drinking wine, eating snacks. She showed me her growing nail polish collection. (We both had become bonafide nail polish addicts by then, especially with indie nail polish, and I was blogging and swatching for companies at the time).

In Dahlonega Georgia.

The end of April 2017 I got one of the most serious messages from my cousin. That a mass had been found. She needed a hysterectomy and colon surgery. It was cancer. A rare kind with neuro endocrine properties. Chrissy was always really private about her battle with cancer, she didn't post about it on social media, she only talked about it with close friends. She was always positive. She and Matt, and Matthew moved back home to Pennsylvania to be close to family in July. She started having chemo three times a week, despite this, the cancer had spread to her liver...

I would go to the hospital downtown after work to see her whenever she was hospitalized there. She always asked me to bring her gummi candy, especially Swedish Fish. I was glad she was home while she was battling this horrible disease, but it was hard watching her fight, watching her get weaker. She rarely showed her emotions, wanting to stay positive, even when she was in pain. I only remember her crying once, after worrying about test results for her feet. She was always laughing, always joking. I would visit her at my Aunts house. We would play mad libs together and crack up hysterically at the stories:

I would bring a big bag of Jelly Belly, jelly beans and we would try and guess the flavors. Her favorite was Popcorn. We talked and reminisced about being kids. She had a purple galaxy Nintendo 3DS, and I ended up getting the same one, so we could play her favorite game (and now mine), Animal Crossing. We would visit each others towns in the games. She showed me all the new Lynnderella nail polishes she had ordered and friends had sent her. She always apologized when she got sleepy, or that she was stuck in bed. We were both sort of introverts, so she knew that sitting with her in her bedroom, while we talked, played on the internet, etc, was just fine with me. We could spend hours together.

As she got weaker and bedridden, still she fought. One the last days I spent with her right before Thanksgiving, she stayed awake the entire day (8 hours!), which was incredible for her as she had been sleeping a lot. She told me how she had gotten all of Matthew's Christmas gifts while she was in the hospital. She told me how she would go shopping when she got better. We watched Friends, played Mad Libs with her family, talked and laughed. It was a good day.

Matt, her husband was by her side every second. He was her caretaker, there for her every need. Her soul mate. I remember the day we were all called down to the hospital. All of her family was there, Matt's family was there. She had had a couple of very bad nights and the doctors were afraid she might slip into a coma.

She was mostly asleep that day, but I will never forget when they brought little Matthew into the hospital room to see his Mama. He curled up next to her in the hospital bed, and she put her arm around him. He had the sweetest little smile on his face, a smile I will never forget. Matt was there next to them too. Jessica, her sister and I started crying. The doctors had given her just days on November 18th. She lived almost three more weeks. She wanted to live and fight, and beat cancer, for her husband and son. We all wanted that. Cancer has unfortunately taken more than one of our family members over the years...

December 3rd, I woke up to a number of missed calls, from Chrissy's sister Katie. Chrissy had passed away peacefully in her sleep in the early morning, with her husband by her side. Katie, my Aunt, and Jessica told me the night before she had been seeing visions of our deceased grandparents, and her other Pop Pop around her bed. They were there with her, comforting her. I was told she was seeing me, saying "Sarah's here, Sarah's here." We were so close, I know she was probably thinking of me....

It's incredibly hard to say goodbye to someone you've known almost your entire life. Someone I was close to, as a sister would be. She was my cousin, she was also my sister. Our whole lives were intertwined. We had similar taste in just about everything, similar thoughts. Places, music, scents, are all wrapped up in memories with her. All of my childhood and adulthood have also been hers. So it feels almost as if a piece of me is missing now. And I know her husband, her son, her mother, and sisters, and all of our family feels the same way. She was our Joy. She is our Joy. Our memories of her... are Joy. She is not someone you will ever forget. I will always miss her...

If you can donate or share the following GoFundMe link, I would be so grateful. My cousin Jessica started it for Chrissy's husband and six year old son Matthew.

www.gofundme.com/christina-marsdens-memorial-fund

Historical Series (#8) 1858-1860's Ambrotype - Early Photography

2017-12-02T15:33:00.001-05:00

I've finally completed my early photography collection, with this 1858-1860's ambrotype. The ambrotype came after the daguerreotype, (the earliest form of successful photography).

Her dress is from the late 1850's. This silk and satin dress is a very good example of an 1858 dress. The wide flowing sleeves, (almost medieval looking), and the very full skirt with hoops. Our lady appears to be around 40-50 years old. She's holding a book. Did she like to read? Was she scholarly? A teacher? It could also be a prayer book. I've decided to call her Jane. After Jane Eyre, one of my favorite classics.

Ambrotypes were often hand tinted. You can see our lady had her cheeks tinted. They were also sometimes gilded for embellishment. It's faded, but her brooch, the front of her dress, and cuff show remnants of shiny gold gild.

The case is wood with leather embossing. Inside is embossed red velvet, and a fancy frame. There is also faded gold paint, which made a pretty vine design around the inside of the case.

The metal latch is intact, and there's spiral, sort of sun burst design engraved on the metal.

While the daguerreotype image was produced on a shiny silver plate, the ambrotype was exposed onto a small piece of glass. Ambrotypes were produced between 1850 into the late 1860's, until the tintype replaced it.

If you remove an ambrotype from its case and hold it up to a light background you can see how the image appears as a negative. Earlier ambrotypes were produced with two panes of glass, the image sandwiched. Later ones like mine were made on a single sheet of glass. The single sheets are more delicate, because the image is directly exposed on the back of the glass; making it impossible to clean without damaging the photograph irreparably.

To view the ambrotype photograph properly, a dark background was needed. Dark paper or cloth was usually used in the back of the union case. Later on some ambrotypes had a dark lacquer applied to the back of the image.

Collection complete! The daguerreotype, ambrotype, and tintype were the earliest forms of successful photography.

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Historical Series (#7) Antique Cabinet Card 1880-1890

2017-11-22T10:48:00.000-05:00

Cabinet Cards were introduced in the 1860's. The photograph was usually applied onto heavy cardstock, which came in all sorts of colors. Darker colors of cardstock were usually more expensive to purchase. My Cabinet Card is circa 1880-1890, of a brother and sister around three to six years old. (Little boys often wore dresses back then until they were breeched). It was taken by a photography studio in Piqua Ohio.

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Historical Series: (#6) Victorian Advertising 1800's - Wanamakers Philadelphia

2017-11-22T10:17:00.003-05:00

Wanamaker's was Philadelphia's first department store. John Wanamaker founded his first store, a mens clothing store with his brother-in-law in the 1860's. Which was called Wanamaker & Brown. The advertising card above has a copyright date of 1876.

In 1876 Wanamaker opened his larger scale department store at 13th & Market Streets in Philadelphia. The advertising card below for Alexandre Kid Gloves is circa 1876-1880's.

An 1895 map of Wanamaker's. Source: philageohistory.org

Rumford Yeast Powder antique trade card. Circa: 1860-1880. Baking powder used to be called yeast powder back in the day. The back of the card has a grocery store location for 21st & Market Street in Philadelphia.

A New York Industrial Insurance advertising card, circa 1880's. I love the price rates for the life insurance back then (10 cents a week!)

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Historical Series (#5) 1850's Daguerreotype of a Little Girl

2017-11-14T03:04:00.001-05:00

I've always been interested in photography. After I got an antique tintype, I wanted to try and collect all the early photography types. I've wanted a daguerreotype, because it was the first successful photographic process. Invented in the late 1830's it was named after the inventor Louis Jacques Mandé Daguerre.

Daguerreotype photographs are made by exposing the image on a highly reflective piece of silver plated copper. If you view a "dag" straight on it looks like a mirror and the photograph appears as a negative. The photo is best viewed at angles. (Back in the day you would have to sit still for over a minute while getting your photograph taken, which explains why a lot of people didn't smile for photos back then!)

My daguerreotype is not in the greatest condition. It's over 160 years old. The glass is scratched, it's missing the front of the union case, the leather is peeling. There's also a lot of oxidation on the metal frame and the photograph itself. But you can still see the image of the little girl quite clearly. This would have been taken around the 1850's and the little girl appears to be around 4-6 years old. There's no identifying information, so we don't know her name or where she was from.

The union case is made of wood and covered in leather, though it's peeling now. What's interesting is the image of the urn in the middle. Which makes me think this was a mourning piece and the little girl may have passed away. Postmortem photographs were not uncommon back then, but her eyes seem too vibrant to me in the photograph for her to be deceased. I could be wrong though. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

There's another interesting little detail on the metal latch. What looks to be a Star of David? So our little girl's family was possibly Jewish.

Daguerreotypes are highly reflective, they have a mirror like quality. You can usually only view the photograph from an angle. Below you can see the reflection of the antique key I was holding. Notice how her image appears as a ghostly negative.

Postmortem photograph or not? Her eyes seem too vibrant to me... what do you think?

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Historical Series: (#4) Photograph Postcards from the early 1900's

2017-11-12T01:06:00.000-05:00

In the early 1900's photograph postcards were extremely popular. Think of them, as the selfies of the day. A lot of them were never mailed or postmarked. Most ended up in scrapbooks. I prefer collecting the postmarked cards, as it gives a more accurate time period, but sometimes a photograph is just too pretty to pass up. The postcard below is of a lady from the mid 1900's. It was never mailed, so there's no information about who she was, but her outfit and hat are gorgeous!

Ladies kept their hats on their head with hat pins. They could be up to 12 inches long! Check out this article from the Smithsonian: “The Hatpin Peril” Terrorized Men Who Couldn’t Handle the 20th-Century Woman.

This was another photograph postcard I picked up of two ladies, possibly sisters (or mother and daughter?). It was sent by Harriet in 1907 from Ladysmith Wisconsin to her friend Arthur. I'm not sure which girl is Harriet, but I like to think it's the right girl. There wasn't enough information on this card to find out exactly who Harriet was. But I believe I found her friend Mr. Albert Pierce of Foster City, Michigan.

The postcard says: Hello Albert! How is old Foster? I wish we were going to run up and visit you this summer as we used to. Remember me to everybody. Your old friend, Harriet.

I picked up this small 4x6 photo album on Amazon recently. It's faux leather, but it's got a vintage feel to it. It's perfect for storing all of my antique postcards.

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Historical Series: (#3) 1912 Postcard Mary E Pike - Ida Grove Iowa

2017-11-10T02:02:00.000-05:00

I hope you're enjoying this series as much as I am. I've always been interested in history. I'm constantly reading, researching different subjects. Lately my newest hobby has been collecting old postcards, letters, photographs, etc. Mainly from the mid 1800's to mid 1900's.

This postcard from 1912 was the very first in my collection. I was instantly drawn to her photograph. Her hat, her dress. She's so striking and pretty. Her outfit reminds me of something you would have seen on the Titanic.

In the early 1900's photograph postcards were incredibly popular. Think of them, as the selfies of the day! A lot of them were never mailed or postmarked. I prefer collecting the postmarked cards, as it gives a more accurate time period and more information of the sender and addressee.

This postcard was sent by Mary E. Pike of Ida Grove, Iowa in 1912 to her friend Mrs. Harvey in New Hampshire. Mary's handwriting is gorgeous.

The postcard says: Dear Mrs. Harvey, How are you all? Well, I hope. Am having a vacation now. Am at Galva Iowa, but shall go back to work soon. Think of you all real often. Best regards to Jimmy & Bob. Are they in New York yet? I like this country fine, am having a dandy time. This is a poor (world illegible- picture?), but I thought I would send one any-way. Wish I might hear from you sometime. Tell Mr. H hello for me. Love & best wishes, Mary E. Pike, Ida Grove, Iowa.

I decided to do some sleuthing with the information I had. A combination of Google, findagrave.com, etc. I was able to locate Mary E. Pike, who became Mrs. Mary Ellen Schrader in 1915. She sadly passed away due to an illness in 1969 at the age of 76. I was able to locate newspaper clippings of her obituaries here & here.

Mary Ellen Pike was born in 1892 in New Hampshire. Her mother passed away when she was 8 years old, and she was sent to live with family in Iowa, though she later lived with an aunt & uncle and attended school in New Hampshire. She later moved back to Iowa and married. I can only guess that the Mrs. Harvey she was sending the postcard to would have been family or a friend in New Hampshire.

If anyone has any more information about Mary E. Pike (Schrader), would love to hear from you below in the comments!

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Historical Series: (#2) Antique Tintype in Union Case- Circa 1865-1870's

2017-11-09T23:30:00.000-05:00

This was one of my favorite finds recently. An antique tintype photograph dated around 1865-1870's.

Some facts: A tintype, is a photograph made by creating a direct positive on a thin sheet of metal coated with a dark lacquer or enamel. There is no actual "tin" in a tintype photograph. It's a blackened iron sheet. They can be identified using a magnet. (My husband and I tried this, it works! The magnet will stick to the glass due to the metal in the photograph. Pretty neat!)

Unfortunately we will never her know her name or where she lived, as there's no identifying information on the photograph. She looks quite young to me, possibly 15-20 years old. I'm guessing she is young, because of the giant ribbon in the back of her hair.

My guess for the year is sometime around late 1860's to mid 1870's because of the dress style she is wearing. It appears to be a two piece button dress, but it doesn't seem to have a bustle in the back. The skirt/sleeves seem too narrow to be from the early 1860's civil war era. My guess is somewhere around mid 1870's. (This style dress seems similar). Her dress could be mourning style.

I'm curious about the pin she is wearing. It appears to be a ribbon with a dangling chain. It could be something known as a cockade, which was wore worn around that period. If anyone has experience on 19th century fashion, please feel free to comment below! I would appreciate it!

You can see below how the photograph is chipping off of the metal plate underneath due to age. There is no actual "tin" in a tintype photograph. It's actually a blackened iron sheet underneath.

The case is called a 'union case'. It's made out of thermoplastic, an early plastic. Thermoplastic is quite fragile. The hinges and part of the frame are broken on mine, but the design is still pretty. Early tintype photographs were housed in these union cases, while later they were housed in paper sleeves. It's entirely possible the case isn't original to the photograph, but we'll never know.

I'm on the hunt to add an an early daguerreotype and ambrotype to my collection next.

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