What moved me about Paula’s experience was her quiet yet passionate response.  “I kind of stood on the green there and just tried to get all my emotions out,” said 22-year-old Creamer, who with eight career wins on the LPGA Tour is considered the best player yet to win a major.

“I was standing there, looking at the hole and thinking, how did you just hit it seven times on this hole? “If I hit a good bunker shot there, then maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about it. But unfortunately I hit a horrible bunker shot and if I could do it all over again I would probably lay it up.

“I’m not sure what happened there. Just kind of felt like one shot after another seven times. After that, it was difficult to bounce back.”  (Thanks to: http://www.supersport.com)

Do you think?

As I watched her go through that experience, three strokes down in the US OPEN, if she was going to contend, this was the time for a gamble.  Paula has the shots.  She has proved it again and again. I love her fiery spirit and I can see incredible growth in her ability to handle the crushing disappointments golf inevitably throws at you….no matter what level you are on.

How can we be so hard on ourselves in the first place?  Somehow, in our heart of hearts, we stand on the first tee and we think, “Today, I will master the game.  Today I will keep my focus and play the best golf of my life.  Putts will fall.  Drives will find short grass.  I will master the game.”

Are we conscious of this slightly ambitions mindset?  Of course not, we are hiding in our Clark Kent clothes telling our friends we haven’t played in forever and God knows how you will play today, etc.  Never the less, almost all of us have entirely inappropriate expectations.

What is the cure?  Easy. All you need to do is address the inherent disappointment that golf is guaranteed to deliver….by its very nature.  A lot of factors have to go just right for you to experience the flow of great performance that comes from self belief.  Reading the right distance, picking the right club, adjusting for wind and terrain to say nothing of the myriad of babble-chatter that is going on inside your head.  The odds are not in our favor.

When you compound the huge desire to master the dog gone game, we set ourselves up over and over for “crushing disappointment”….the exact words countless clients use when describing their golf failures.  That is why Paula Creamer offers an incredible lesson for all of us.  When you watch her play watch how she expresses her frustration clearly, and yet she succeeds in pulling her focus back time and time again.

After a potentially paralyzing triple bogie in that round, she went on to shoot a two under par 69 on Sunday to finish in a tie for 6th.  I admire her tenacity.  Yes, she has a fiery temperment but she is learning to handle the jolts and meltdowns that go along with it.  I admire that even more.

Way to go Paula!  What can we learn from watching her?  Here are three steps to dealing with the occasional yet inevitable jolts and meltdowns on the golf course.

1.  Admit that you are going to have some embarrassing shots before you play each round. Telling yourself the truth about this unspoken and unpleasant reality in golf will empower you and give you confidence.  Holding the belief, even if it is flying under the radar, that someday you will play the mistake free round is exhausting and a waste of time.  Decide today that you are going to simply be more reasonable about this facet of our great game.

2. Make a plan for how you are going to handle above mentioned occasions. I am a big believer in doing something physical to help you get over your frustration.  When you hit a particularly ugly and humiliating shot, you are being showered on the inside with a chemical cocktail including adrenalin and cortisol.  These hormones are on auto-release in your body.  In a very real way you have an inner eruption, like a volcano, that destroys everything in its path.  Knowing that, you can PLAN FOR A MELT DOWN. I like to say, “I know I am going to have an embarrassing shot or two today.”  Then, when one happens, I acknowledge it.  “Yep, there it was!”

3.  Do something constructive to get through the moment. Try collaborating with your body instead of clobbering your body with  abusive thoughts and language.  Grab your towel and twist it as you walk to your next shot.  Take a golf ball in your hand and squeeze it with all your might.  Acknowledge what is real: “Even though I blew it again, and I am really angry and frustrated, I know I won’t quit this bleepity-bleep game so I might as well lighten up.”

Remember that it is PRACTICE that takes your golf game to higher and higher levels and that it is PRACTICE that is going to take your inner game to the place where it can support your new golf game. I know you believe you can play better.  I believe it too.  Make a plan and persist in following through.  You will bring yourself to unbelievable achievements. Just ask Paula.

]]> http://www.tuneyourgolfmind.com/2009/07/paula-creamer-rebounds-from-anger/feed/ 0 http://www.tuneyourgolfmind.com/2009/07/i-love-when-tiger-gets-mad/ http://www.tuneyourgolfmind.com/2009/07/i-love-when-tiger-gets-mad/#comments Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:25:12 +0000 Catherine http://www.tuneyourgolfmind.com/?p=64 Yep, I love to watch the best player in the world get FURIOUS on the golf course. What, you say, aren’t we trying to CONTROL our anger on the golf course?

Good question. The answer is NO. That is why I love it when Tiger Woods gets mad out there. You see the difference is that as mad as he gets, he is able to feel it, release it and then refocus in way shorter time than most mere mortals.

I always enjoy watching his faithful caddy, Steve, during these moments. He doesn’t say a word. He goes about his business, preparing for the next shot. He doesn’t try to cheer Tiger up or make any editorial comments. He just knows that Tiger will refocus.

Wouldn’t it be nice if your playing partners knew the same thing about you? What if you could be fully engaged in the disappointment of a missed shot at a crucial time and allow yourself to be FURIOUS…..for a MOMENT and not for the next three holes?

It takes discipline to retrain yourself to be mad, really mad and then to let it go. “I can’t let it go, I just get so mad and then I stay stuck there.” Sound familiar?

One of the misconceptions that will get in your way is that somehow you must STOP being angry all together on the course. Totally untrue. Just watch Tiger, Phil Mickelson or other top notch stars. They actually USE their anger to catapult themselves into winning opportunities.

Next time you miss a shot and feel the heat of anger rising in you, start to coach yourself strategically. Start telling yourself a different story about the shot and what it means to your day. Instead of sinking into fury and depression, start telling yourself a new version of the events. These thoughts will be strange and unusual to you at first but, with practice, you will start to see a bit of Tiger detachment sneaking into your game.

Here are some examples of thoughts you can pick from:

*Even though I hate missing like that, I can choose to let it go.

*Even though I just blew the round, thank goodness I don’t have to make my living out there.

*I am learning to get mad and let it go.

*I am learning to recover more and more quickly from my missed shots.

*If Tiger can miss a putt or flop a bunker shot into another bunker, I guess I can accept that I have bad shots too.

BEING mad on the course is not the problem, STAYING mad is. With practice you will see improvement, just as you do when you hit balls at the range. Make a decision today that you will make your anger work for you and not against you. It really is up to you!

Ouch!

Some people insist that the pressure on Tiger Woods or Lorena Ochoa is greater than it is for the executive out on the links with three important clients.  I beg to differ.  EVERYONE HAS A PRESSURE PROBLEM IN GOLF.  The distraction of other people whether it is a gallery or a foursome is a challenge we HAVE TO OVERCOME IF WE ARE GOING TO RISE TO OUR OWN POTENTIAL.

The pressure problem is a mental issue and strengthening your INNER GOLF GAME is the only solution!

Luckily there are a few easy things you can do to HELP YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!

Here is how to dismantle your panic response in three super easy steps:

1.  Close Your Eyes: Science is showing us that we can shift the frequency of our brain waves simply by closing our eyes.  When you close your eyes, removing all of the visual stimuli from your experience is naturally calming.  When you think of it, how often do you close your eyes consciously besides sleep?  You will be surprised at how this simple step will change the downward spiral of your thoughts and emotions.

2. Breathe Deeply:  Ok, we have your eyes closed, so what next?  Breathing deeply brings much needed oxygen to your brain, the control center of your thoughts. Many of my clients have breathing problems.  When fear and panic set in, they are in real trouble because their shallow breath gets even shallower! This will just feed the panic!  This solution is easy.  Take a breath.  Hold for a count of four.  Exhale and hold for a count of four before you inhale.  Repeat three of four times.  This is a snap to do while you are waiting for another player to take their turn.  Do it.  Do it today!

3. Choose a Different Perspective and Squeeze: We are thinking streams of thoughts throughout our golf game.  When fear and panic are present, the thoughts are pretty ugly.  Each of us has our own personal brand but some might include:

“How could I be so stupid!”  “I hate sand traps.”  “I can’t afford to miss the cut.”  “I hate customer golf.”

I once asked my young son, now a golf professional, “Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself on the golf course?”  Of course he gave me a resounding NO.  I would ask you the same question.  I have two MAGIC WORDS that will transform your golf course thinking:  Even though…..

Try these on for size, FEEL how the energy of the thoughts is changed by these two simple words:

“Even though I missed that shot, it doesn’t have to spoil the day.”

“Even though I feel like a loser, that feeling is only temporary.”

“Even though I am so embarrassed, I know that I will feel better in a few minutes.”

“Even though a part of me is FURIOUS at myself, there is another part of me that knows I’ll be ok, no matter what.”

As you are creating your new thoughts, hold a golf ball in your hand and squeeze until your forearm begs for mercy. As you squeeze and reprogram your thoughts, the physical effort will also bring a wave of relaxation every time.

Your Instant Panic Relief Game Plan:

Next time you are shocked by a sudden loss of confidence on the golf course, practice these three steps.  Make a commitment to use them in your next round.   Stay focused.  Close your eyes, breathe and use “Even though…” to redirect your thoughts.  Squeeze the living tar out of that golf ball!  The relief you feel will change your performance and rescue the day. Now it is up to YOU!  CHOOSE to develop the discipline to DO THIS CONSISTENTLY!  The results will astound you!

Charles Barkley is appealing precisely BECAUSE he can’t seem to overcome his yippy golf swing.  Truthfully, I have never seen anything like it.  For those of you who haven’t seen this poor guy’s swing, here is a video:

The yips are a nightmare and most golfers experience them at one point during their playing days. The yips actually end some golfers playing days for good. How sad!

Can we overcome the yips? I say YES! There are those few players like Sir Charles who can’t seem to break the habit, however, there are others who can OVERCOME THE DREADED YIPS easily and quickly. This is how Mind Tuning came into existence.

I taught golf for ten years and during that time, I was fascinated by the power of the mind to make or break a player. I’ll never forget trying to help a man with his shank problem. No matter what I tried, nothing worked. I ended up giving him the lesson for free…after all, I didn’t help him, but I became even more determined to find an answer.

Mind Tuning combines a variety of techniques I have discovered over the years to help myself and my clients change stubborn mindsets like, “I just know I am going to yip again.” FEAR OF YIPS, fondly known as FOY (no one even likes to SAY the word) feels awful and takes all the joy out of the game.

If YOU have a little too much FOY going on in YOUR game, don’t despair! It is no accident you are reading this article. Stroll on over to Twitter and follow @GolfMindTuner and message me.  I would love to talk to you about getting rid of the yips once and for all!

And, if you run into Sir Charles, send him on over!