The Birth Of A Mother

An entrepreneur. A blogger. A writer. A dreamer. A healer.

An adventurer.  A transformer. A manifestor. A minimalist. A student. A protector.

A voice. A respect for our planet. A commitment to wellness. An understanding of self-love.

Authenticity. Awareness. Strength. Vulnerability. Transparency.

A fire in my belly. A pair of wings.

A love that sees the child in each of us: the criminal, the homeless, the bully.

A beautiful perspective of life and death. An all-access pass to this beautiful moment.

A devotion to preserving the joy in her heart and mine.

Today, I celebrate mothers blooming everywhere. Happy Mother’s day.

In the comments below, share the aspects of you and your life that didn’t exist before you became a mother.

I casually mentioned that I don’t cook in a recent post. The truth is, I have a serious case of kitchenophobia. I’m like a headless chicken in the kitchen. Imagine how that feels.

If you think I’m exaggerating, I have stories.

There was that time when my blender started smoking during my first attempt at baking. A mixer and blender are the same thing, no? No! Blenders definitely don’t do well with banana bread dough…

Or, that time I made garlic mashed potatoes with six heads of garlic when the recipe called for six cloves…

At the age of twenty-nine, I’ve finally decided that it’s time to become queen of the kitchen and give my kitchenophobia the boot.

And I’m bringing my toddler along on this mission. I thought that it might be a bit early to start her off in the kitchen but my friends at Rocky Mountain Flatbread Co. proved me wrong.

This fabulous, kid-friendly restaurant recently hosted a hands-on cooking class for Tiana and seven other wee kidlets. Suzanne, the owner, guided their little hands.

Helping Suzanne drizzle caramel onto the popcorn.

Eager to see what the popcorn machine is capable of.

Each of them made guacamole dip for their veggies, scrumptious popcorn with dried apple and caramel, and the best part…they made their own gourmet pizzas!

Topping her pizza with mmmango!

*BAM* in ninety minutes my toddler outdid me in the kitchen!

I didn’t realize that my two-year-old could safely cut avocados, peel carrots,  and sprinkle and spread her little heart out.

Teamwork! Scooping out avocados with new friends.

And she really enjoyed it!

Enjoying the popcorn that she made.

Sharing popcorn with the other cutie pies.

Now that I know her little hands are quite capable in the kitchen, my toddler will be joining me in my cooking adventures.  Although, after her cooking class with Rocky Mountain Flatbread Co., I’m thinking I may need to catch up to her skill level first…

If you want to prevent kitchenophobia in your kids, invite them to participate in meal preparations.

And, if you’re in Vancouver, I highly recommend that you attend a Rocky Mountain Flabread Family Pizza Making Night.

They will be choosing someone randomly from their Facebook Fan Page to win 2 tickets to their Family Pizza Making Nights. For your chance at winning “LIKE” their Facebook Page.

If you’ve tried cooking with your kids, in the comments below, share some kid-friendly recipes that Tiana and I can try.

<Cue crickets and sarcastic cackles>

Now, how many women do you know who complain about their body? Hide behind clothes? Wish they could add or remove certain body parts? Maybe even hate their body?

The list is long, eh?

Having finally reached the point of loving my body, I can now see that my previous perspective led me towards unhealthy relationships, bad decisions, and an overall low quality of life.

It’s one thing to go through that yourself. But it’s a whole ‘nother level of pain when it comes to your daughter. So how do you raise a girl who celebrates her body?

Heal yourself. Love your own body. Talk to her about it. Often.

That has been my plan of action.

Healing My Past

For most of my life, I didn’t love my body. It was my dark secret, at times, unknown even to myself.

Some contributing factors to my negative body image:

1) My self-conscious tendencies - I remember being 4 years old, in a one-piece bathing suit, refusing to come out of the beach hut and “expose my body”. Ya, it started that early.

) Growing up in the East –  although my family was westernized, I never saw a woman walking the streets with her calves showing and often, not even her eyes.

3) Religion - I’ll leave it at that…

4) Experiencing and witnessing sexual abuse…both instances, before the age of 8.  My whole family was affected. Needless to say, those events left a mark.

As you can imagine, it’s tough to celebrate your body under those conditions. 

The Day That Changed Everything

It was the day I found out I was having a girl.

The thought of my little one growing up in such a sad state of confusion about her own body, the way I did, was …just what I needed!

I began a very deliberate journey towards healing my past. I knew I had to give my story a happy ending so that my daughter would have a fair chance at a healthy beginning.

Your past is different from mine. But whatever your story, you need to recognize it’s hold over your body and do what it takes to heal.

Loving My Body

I nourish my body with the right nutrition. I sweat regularly to keep fit. I don’t entertain nasty self-talk. I wear clothes that make me feel good. I limit the make-up. I don’t fry my skin in the hot sun anymore. …etc. etc.
In short, I take care of my body so that it takes care of me.

Your daughter needs you to show her what loving your own body looks like.

Starting The Conversation

The toughest part of my past was the silence and all the unanswered questions.

But having a little girl motivated me to find my voice, seek help, and share my story. I have come a long way in the last four years. And thankfully, I’ve arrived at this point just in time to answer all the uncensored questions that my little girl is already starting to have.

If you’re looking for ways to open the communication between you and your daughter, I have just what you need: Beautiful Girl, a children’s book written by Dr. Christiane Northrup.

With empowering words and captivating illustrations, the book portrays the female body as an enchanting gift, one that thrives with gentle care and gratitude. The timeless message was simple enough for my toddler to understand and at the same time, served as a reminder for myself.

In fact, the first time I cracked it open was on a day when I needed a bit of lift. The words and the illustrations, instantly injected appreciation for every experience my body has carried me through, the good and the bad.

Tiana fell in love with the pictures. Her imagination carried her far. By the end of the book, the little angel was stroking my face to demonstrate what gentle love looks like. She’s on the right track.

I think this book would be a great addition to your daughter’s collection. So, I’m giving you a chance to win a copy of Beautiful Girl .

Enter to win:

Update: A winner has been selected! Thank you for all who entered. If you’d like to purchase the book, click here.

1. Subscribe to my blog for more heart-opening posts (if you’re already a subscriber, you can skip this step);
and
2. Leave a comment below telling me one thing you do, or can start doing, to respect your beautiful body.
For a bonus entry, tweet this: “I’d love to win Beautiful Girl, a children’s book by @DrChrisNorthrup via @natnanton”

On Friday, April 26, 2013, at 4 p.m. the winner will be notified via email and announced on my Facebook page.

Please note: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review and giveaway. The opinion in this review is my own. Also, links to purchase Beautiful Girl are my affiliate links.

Good news: you can be.

Luck isn’t all chance. A big chunk of the equation is how you’re holding up in your role as co-creator of your world.
Sounds fluffy, but take it from me. I was so used to winning nothing…until around a year or so ago, when my lucky streak started.

In the last year alone, I have won gym memberships, yoga passes, conference tickets, jewelry, clothing, books and more. And I swear, I’m not that girl who spends her weekend hunting down online giveaways. I’ve never even bought a lottery ticket.

Speaking of, last week I won the lottery! AY-OH! The lottery was for a community garden plot. It may not be a million dollars, but to me, it’s a big deal. With 200 people on the waitlist and a 5-year turnover rate, I’m pretty flippin’ happy about winning a plot.

Now let me share what allowed me to make the shift from being luckless to inviting luck into my orbit.

Lucky Are Those Who:

1. Believe they are deserving.

2. Visualize lucky moments.

3. Take action.

4. Aren’t bound by their circumstances.

5. Practice gratitude often.

6. Are opportunists.

7. Appreciate wrong decisions for getting them closer to the right one.

8. Are ever-ready to embark on the unexpected journey.

9. Let faith fuel their dreams.

10. Pop a perspective pill for “unlucky” days.

11. Share the wealth.

12. Always have enough.

13. Don’t let fear get in the way.

14. Know that no dream is ever too big.

15. Consider themselves to be lucky to have the basic necessities like health, clean air, and shelter.

16. Don’t consider it luck. They call it manifesting, co-creating, and being blessed.

So you see? Luck is more of a choice than we think it is.

Next week, I’ll be giving you a chance to practice the ways of the lucky. I’m giving away one copy of “Beautiful Girl: Celebrating the Wonders of Your Body” by Dr. Christiane Northrup, a gorgeously illustrated book that encourages a positive body image for any little girl who reads it.
Sign up for my newsletter to be notified as soon as the contest goes live.

Now I turn it over to you. In the comments below, share 3 things that you consider yourself lucky to have.

What else? They could be little things. Big things. Past, present, future things.

Perhaps you also speak Dr. Seuss?

OK serious now. You’ll be surprised at how much strangers have in common. Unexpected similarities are always exciting, even among friends.

Today, I’m sharing 10 things about me that you probably don’t already know. I want to discover what else ties you and I together.

Leave a comment at the end of the post and let me know if any of my “things” are your “things” too (whether in the broad topic or minute details).

If you’re still here after reading #10, you should know, the unconditional love is mutual.

Credit for the super graphic design work above goes to Christine Nielsen, a.k.a  Ms Pixel.Business and blogger moms, if you need a boost in visual appeal, Ms Pixel can make it happen.
Find out more about this techy mom on her website. And if you’re a fan of her work on my post, follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

The fun isn’t over yet. Seven sweet friends o’ mine, who also have blogs and babies, are sharing random facts about themselves that were unknown to the web. Be sure to click through them all! Thanks to HMB Designs for the fancy work on our photos.

                The Write Mama // North Shore Mama

Little Miss Mama // Mumfection // Mama. Papa. Bubba

The Connection We Share // The Thirties Grind // Nat Nanton

In the comments, let me know if you and I have any of the above 10 things in common. If not, share a random fact that makes you unique. Funny or serious. Bonus points for embarrassing.

Found on WWF.ca

Where I come from,
A week didn’t pass without the lights going out.
We’d run out into the yard.
Bike rides and “running catching” were so much more fun in the dark.
Shadow puppets, candlelit board games.
Sometimes if were lucky, fireflies would join the party.

At bedtime, the absence of the a/c left us lying in hot air.
We be flipping pillows every minute, chasing cool linens.
Dunking towelettes in ice water and wearing them on our faces.

Fast forward to my life in the West.
Fast-paced living.
Fastened plugs in every wall 24/7/365.
Fast food. Fast lanes. Fast forgetting about Earth’s finite resources.

So this Saturday, during Earth Hour, I’ll head to the hills
To take in the view of the Earth Hour Capital of the World,
While I sit and map out my response to this global call-to-consciousness.

If we all unplugged for an hour a week, imagine the expansion in our global consciousness.
I picture overflowing gratitude jars,
Imagination and intuition on their way to being restored,
And an overall increase in intentional living.
That is what precedes community action towards climate change.

Crazy or crazy awesome? Would you do Earth Hour once a week? Discuss in the comments below.

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Handmade gifts trump mall-finds any day. But as romantic as it sounds, the idea of making gifts scares away busy moms. You might be turned off by the thought of complicated projects and a time-consuming process.

As far as the first concern mentioned, just keep it simple. You don’t have to sew your mom a new set of drapes for Mother’s Day. She’d be delighted over homemade bath salts.
And as for time, follow my workflow (shared below) and you might actually end up saving time spent otherwise on aimlessly wandering from store to store.

The Super Stream-lined Workflow For D.I.Y Gifts

1. A date with Google Calendar - get some smooth tunes playing, pour yourself some wine, and open up your Google calendar. Enter all the upcoming dates when you will be celebrating your favourite people. For each entry, set a reminder 8-10 weeks prior to the date. That timeline seems over-the-top, but rushing creativity is a sin, punishable by awkwardness when your friend sees that the gift isn’t your most sincere of efforts.

2. Inspired by Pinterest. Organized by Evernote - While waiting for a special occasion, get inspired by my Pinterest board for D.I.Y gifts which has a growing collection of the best D.I.Y gift ideas for everyone on your list.

Make sure you follow me on Pinterest for D.I.Y gift inspiration

When you see a suitable gift idea, save it in yourEvernote archives (you are using Evernote, right?). Unlike Pinterest, Evernote allows you to organize gift inspiration for each person and each occasion on your list using tags. And, since Evernote is not a public platform, your gifts remain a surprise.

3. Map it out - When the Google Calendar reminder pops up, it’s project planning mode. That’s when you open up your Evernote tickle trunk to decide on a D.I.Y gift project and do a quick overview of what the project involves. Then, head back to Google Calendar to set aside some time to work on your project. Aim to be finished 2-3 weeks in advance just in case it turns out to be a D.I.Y disaster.

There you have it– the stress-free way to D.I.Y gifts that result in a whole lotta slow livin’ and meaningful givin’.

Where To Turn When It’s A D.I.Y. Disaster

Sometimes, even with the best of intentions and a solid system, the D.I.Y gifts don’t work out. When that happens, choose to support an artist by purchasing handmade goods at local craft fairs and boutiques. Vancouver, make sure you check out my favourite craft fair, make it! The Handmade Revolution, and my favourite gift shop, brick & mortar living. Or if you prefer online shopping, there’s always Etsy.

If you have yet to give a handmade gift, tell me which obstacles prevented you from doing so. If you are an experienced D.I.Y. gifter, share your favourite D.I.Y. gift resources. Let’s chat in the comments below.

Q: What do these three women have in common? (I’ll save you a Google search and tell you, it’s not celebrity status. Bee, one of my dearest friends, is not famous…although she ain’t no commoner either.)

A: All three ladies are smokin’ hot…goofballs!
Silly is their specialty.
Take a look at the photo below. On the left, Poehler and Fey do a Golden Globes promo with their pumped up kicks. On the right, my friend’s graduation photo, which clearly stands out in my yearbook’s gallery of stiff necks and fake smiles.

Golden Globes photo (L) via www.styleite.com

Now those three girls are confident, fearless, and freely-expressed. Rare qualities in a self-conscious world.

Rare, after a certain age, that is.
We have a blast monkeying around as kids. And then, the somber adults come along and crash the party, convincing us that acting silly is unaccepted, childish, and not ladylike. Geesh. Killjoy.

Well I’ve decided that I’d rather raise my daughter to be secure enough to show her spunky personality instead of looking perfectly poised.

To be able encourage my daughter’s antics,I have to walk the talk. I’m looking at reversing three decades of anti-silly conditioning. Oy.

I better make a wall decal as a declaration to Tiana and a reminder for myself.

Yup. We’re gonna own our inner clowns!

I’ll start by following the 1st clause in the above declaration.

Click the video to get a glimpse of what I look like when I fool around (I’m secretly hoping that my hair conceals my identity)…

What was the craziest silly stunt you’ve ever pulled?

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But self-love isn’t written in the stars. It requires you to search with open eyes and a willing heart.

I’ve been hunting around for quite some time now and I think it’s time I share my most unexpected findings. So, today I open my treasure chest. Have a look!

Where Is Your Love Hiding?

1. In your hair - you will fall in love hard when you wear a flower in your hair. Maybe some baby’s breath in your braid. Or a begonia by your bun. Eventually, you’ll graduate to the flower crown – a true statement of self-adoration.

Photo credit & D.I.Y flower crown by mycalicoskies.blogspot.ca

2. In your moisturizer –  you can slather on the moisturizer like you seasoned last night’s chicken dinner…or… you can light a candle, turn on some earthy instrumentals and treat yourself to a full-body rub-down with coconut oil. Mmmm.

3. In your paint-by-numbers kit - Those things aren’t just made for kids, you know. Check your local crafts store and get excited. You’ll discover that this activity is so hypnotic and surprisingly healing. Art for the heart.

4. In your underwear drawer – the fugly undies have their purpose; but good luck feeling sexy when you’re wearing something that unflattering. Reach for your prettiest panties and not your granny knickers when you need a little love. And by pretty I don’t mean itchy, scratchy lace. Choose comfy, contour-clinging, sassypants.

5. In your shower stall – A drop of your preferred essential oil in the corner of your shower stall will seriously enhance a hot n’ steamy shower. Heavenly sinful. My nostrils adore lavender in case you’re wondering which oil I recommend.

6. In your chocolate stash – the key here, is to choose 75% (or higher) dark chocolate. It satisfies cravings. It melts in your mouth. It’s good for your heart. And it’s guilt-free. In other words, dark chocolate has the opposite effect of the chocolate crack that tempts you as you stand in line at the grocery store.

7. In empty wine bottles –  wine lovers, let me tell you what to do with the empty bottles: fill with green-wire fairy lights.  Fireflies in a bottle. Une atmosphère magique for an evening of relaxation.

Photo credit & D.I.Y. by witandwhistle.com

8. In a mason jar – fill the jar with lovenotes (ie. your achievements, big and small; challenges overcome; your favourite physical features or personality traits). Enjoyable in the moment. Appreciated on days of self-doubt.

9. In a teacup - drinking tea is like receiving a hug from your insides (it feels better than it sounds). So put the kettle on, dust off your prettiest tea cup, sip slow, and do nothing else. You have now entered the tea zone.  

10. In your smartphone – show your friends what your love looks like with a selfie. Stretch those arms and strike a pose. Your kids are cute but, Mama, you pretty face deserves to be framed too!

Ooh la la. C’est l’amour!

Which ones on the list get you most excited? Have I missed any prime locations for self-love? Leave a comment below and let me know.

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Funny enough, I remember getting my toes trampled on and being the one to apologize. I was hit by a speeding car…at a pedestrian crossing… in a school zone…and I apologized.
I’m telling you, my vocal chords did their own thing.

Things finally turned around when my daughter was born. As her role model and spokesperson, I thought I’d help her find her voice. Instead, she helped me discover mine.

What Motherhood Taught Me About The Power Of My Voice

1) Speak your truth…even if your teeth chatter - I want my daughter to tell it like it is. I don’t want her to take the easy way out. I want her to know that vulnerability is a strength.  So naturally, I have to show her what this looks like. For me, that means having tough conversations through chattering teeth, even in mid-August.

2) Let it flow - Kids rock at this. They blurt out anything, anywhere, all the time. We could learn a thing or three from them. Don’t hesitate. Don’t second-guess. DON’T think before you speak.

3) Don’t spare their feelings – I am a recovering people-pleaser — always in the habit of saying and doing for others. I finally had to kick the habit when I was repeatedly approached by well-meaning strangers who would hand giant lollipops to my toddler without asking me first. I have mastered that polite rejection shpeal to the 70-and-under category. I still struggle with the oldies.

4) Let your happiness be free of volume control - In celebration of the safe arrival of my nephew, a.k.a miracle baby, I recently let out a loud “YEAHHHH” while standing on my balcony. Heehee. I still can’t believe I did that. It felt good to express joy on full blast. When my little girl gets excited, the whole neighborhood knows. I knew it would be fun to get in on that.

5) Be quiet and clear the clutter – I realize that suggesting silence sounds partly contradictory to my message but note the difference between being silent while being tormented by the monkey mind vs. being silent while at peace. Thought-overload doesn’t allow clear communication. I sit for 20 minutes a day, thought free. Clarity in mind, soul and speech.

6) Talk to yourself out loud – A kid talks to herself and it’s cute. Mama dares to do it and you look at her like she’s cray cray. In my opinion, it’s an effective way to practice speaking while getting comfortable with the sound of your voice.

7) Say “no” – I used to incessantly over-commit myself. But I quickly learned the importance of making myself a priority as a mom. My daughter and my self really appreciate it when I don’t spread myself thin.

8) Speak up for what you want – Becoming a mom made me more aware of my finances than ever. But being frugal doesn’t have to mean sacrificing the good life. I managed to make my ideal living space fit the budget in reducing rent by $1200 annually. I scored tickets to some world class events and enjoyed quite a few amazing products and services without spending a dime. All of that was possible because I vocalized my worth through negotiation and sold my skills when bartering.

Let me tell you, with my new-found voice, life is lot more aligned with my feelings and desires.

In the comments below, let me know which of the eight lessons you could benefit from or share some of your own.

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