TV on the Internets

Aber-Obama & Fitch?

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:43:00 +0000

Aber-Obama and Fitch? Damn, CNN, even we don't have the gall to let a pun that insidious seep on to the webs. Maybe if you didn't spend so much time trying to make plays on words you wouldn't have been scooped by TV on the Internets.

Fall On Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:17:00 +0000

With Conan O'Brien scheduled to take over Jay Leno's post at the tonight show next year, NBC has begun in earnest its search for the heir to Conan's desk and swivel chair. The odds on favorite at the moment is SNL alum Jimmy Fallon, who enjoyed a stint of popularity culminating in performances as host of the MTV Video Music Awards in the late '90s (see below). Since then it's been more laid back for Fallon whose music and film career quickly fizzled after signing off for the last time behind the Weekend Update desk.

Though seemingly arbitrary, NBC's decision to put Fallon on the Late Night short list actually stems from the comic's apparent proficiency in the field. During David Letterman's health related leave of absence following invasive heart surgery, Fallon assumed hosting duties and demonstrated a talk show savvy intuition and sense of timing.

NBC's consideration of Fallon as the follow-up to Conan the Contrarian didn't initially excite Late Night fans. Support has been mounting, however, since the media has floated Dane Cook and Carson Daley as other possible candidates. No word yet as to whether Fallon will bring along as his rotund and amicable sidekick fellow SNL graduate, Horatio Sanz, who with Fallon perfected the smug on-air crackup that became the duo's signature hook and probably more notorious than any of their other recurring SNL characters, such as Hampshire College students Jarret and Gobi, Nick Burns, your company computer guy, and the Leather Man. The opportunity may be hard to pass up, though, considering the already established similarities between Paul Schaffer and Sanz's impression of Sir Elton John.

Summuna Fitch

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:58:00 +0000

Obama may have lost the Pennsylvania primary but he apparently made up for his lackluster performance among the over 60 crowd with big pull in the mall demographic.

Can someone please tell the Obama campaign to do a better job of selecting the bodies to populate his backdrop during his concession speeches? Nothing inspires less confidence than a campaign leadership obtuse enough to put Barrack Obama in front of 3 white dudes wearing tee shirts from Abercrombie & Fitch, a clothing retailer once involved in a class action law suit for discriminating against Asian and African American job applicants.

CNN, C-riously?

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:35:00 +0000

Superbowl XLII proved that over-hyped, live television sporting events are still the best way to congregate eyeballs. CNN is apparently picking up on that strategy and priming viewers for the closest thing basic cable can offer as a comparison to big-level sports - Roger Clemens testifying live before congress about what he did or did not put into his butt.

OBAMAGEDDON: BUSH'S LAST STAND! TONIGHT ONLY!

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:55:00 +0000

Celebrate Pres. Bush's final State of the Union Address and the beginning of countdown to Obamageddon tonight by joining TV on the INTERNETS in our 6th annual Annheiser Bush State of the Union Drinking Game.

We usually draw up our own elaborate rules involving teams and archetypes (examples: The formerly liberal but increasingly conservative as he considers a mortgage on a condo in Brooklyn Columbia Law student; the jaded minority that keeps trying to flip the channel to NBA basketball), but the event kind of snuck up on us this year so we're just going to link to some other dude's rules that we're going to use and spice up with some stereotypes (if the President refers to Israel as "the Holy Land" take one shot and cheers with a L'Chaim!).

Baywatch Watch

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:35:00 +0000

With the success of American Gladiators, the failure of Bionic Woman and the impending mediocrity of Knight Rider, how far off are we from the most inevitable remake of all time?

The Wire: Season 5, Episode 4 Look-Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 20:00:00 +0000

Air date: January 27, 2008
Director: Dan Attias
Title: Transition

One whole week is too long to wait for a new episode of The Wire so we here at TV on the INTERNETS have started playing a game where we try to deduce in what direction our monomaniacal leader, David Simon, will take us this Sunday.

The first interesting thing to jump out is the name of Dan Attias, the director of episode 4. Attias is one of TVOTI's favorite TV directors, along with Schlamme and Farino, because of his work on Entourage and one of the greatest episodes of any show last year, Studio 60's Christmas Special.

Second, it seems officer Beatrice "Beadie" Russell will be back. Russell, played by Gone Baby Gone's Amy Ryan, played a prominent role in the Port case of season 2. Her reemergence will most definitely coincide with more face time for Spiros Vandopoulos, played by Paul Ben-Victor. With Sergei back in the story and now Spiros, it seems Sunday will be the time for the infamous Greek to return as well.

Third, the reunion of the masterminds behind the Port smuggling in season 2 must mean Marlo is closer to brokering a deal with them to cut Prop Joe out of the supply side of the game. With Omar back in town, though, can Marlo really afford a two-front war with Omar and the East Side? Maybe Stringer Bell knows how that story ends.

Fourth, Gus' search into the city's real estate dealings with known drug dealers proves fruitful as Fatface Rick, aka Troj Strickland, comes back to join us. Fatface doesn't seem to pop up again later this season so maybe it's just a name drop or potentially a hit. Either way, his story will most likely tie in with Clay Davis' grand jury inquisition, which kicks off in earnest this week and will last through March. Keep an eye out for Tom Townsend playing the only character listed as "Grand Jury Member."

Finally, Michael's mom, played by Shamika Cotton, is back in the picture after losing her boyfriend to Chris and Snoop last year. Michael's in the episode too, fresh off his cameo as Nephew in the Roc Boys video, but no mention of Duq, Nay or Randy. Seems like we'll have to wait a bit longer to see what they and Prezbo have been up to.

The Wire. Season 5. Episode 4. 77 hours and counting.

American Idol 7: I'm Your Angel Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:02:00 +0000

TV on the INTERNETS has finally gotten off its high horse and introduced a Department of Alternative Programming here at our NY offices. From here on out TVOTI will no longer subjectively discriminate against reality programming and will allow into its purview of quality entertainment the Fox juggernaurous "American Idol." Why? Because after 7 years we've realized it's pointless to try to hate on a legitimate phenomenon that fulfills the very expectations with which TV was created - to provide disparate people of a unified land a sense of community through shared experience. So let's come together and celebrate American Idol Season 7's South Carolina auditions.

Very few potential winners will come out of the crop shown to us in last night's one hour episode but there definitely were some standouts.

First, there was Oliver Highman. I'm not sure if that's how you officially spell his last name but I prefer Hymen, since it would go better with the whole vaginal vibe of his audition. His wife went into labor; he stunk, etc. An interesting programming choice on the part of American Idol to build an episode-long story arc around a guy who ends up being kind of lame.

Second, Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin brought the "ow" with an R. Kelly / Celine Dion duet that I didn't even know existed. Jeffrey was kind of good though his head voice fell flat some times and doesn't bode well for his performance of songs that aren't booming ballads. Michelle squeaked through because it would just be too sad to watch them say goodbye right now. Let's wait for that awkward Hollywood cry and embrace for which Sanjaya and his sexy sis set the precedent last year.

Third, last night AI sent some cats home that didn't seem outrageously horrendous in my opinion.

For example, was Lyndsay Goodman that bad?

What about the self-proclaimed "Black Clay Aiken," Rishard? Too gay for American Idol? For reals?

Finally, we here at TV on the INTERNETS think Simon saw into the future and predicted a story line that should provide some drama into the early rounds of Season 7. Will Amy Catharine Flynn live up to her potential as the most hated 16-year-old in the country?

Let's see, a cheerleader that doesn't bone. Yeah, I can't think of a single person that liked that chick in high school.

Brobama: Writing Durrrrty

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:23:00 +0000

Yeah, I know, we all got massive broners watching Obama's Iowa Victory Speech on January 3rd but there was more than his affected proselytizing prose that rubbed my rod the wrong way.

First, is a booming baritone vibrato allowed in any public speaking venue outside of a pulpit or a lectern on the Mall?

Second, is a 26-year-old white kid named Jon Favreau really responsible for those bombastic phrases that draw such easy parallels to a white guy doing an impression of a black guy doing an impression of a black guy? Apparently, yes.

As evinced by this January 20th New York Times article everyone and their dad is in love with Obama's broratory skills. What would Obama say, they ask. My answer: Whatever Nixon already has.

Let's take a comparative look at Obama's Iowa Victory Speech from 2008 and Richard Nixon's second Republican nomination acceptance speech in 1972 and see if any similarities immediately jump out.

Nixon: "Speaking in a very personal sense, I express my deep gratitude to this convention for the tribute you have paid to the best campaigner in the Nixon family-my wife Pat. In honoring her, you have honored millions of women in America who have contributed in the past and will contribute in the future so very much to better government in this country."

Obama: "And while I'm at it on thank yous, I think it makes sense for me to thank the love of my life, the rock of the Obama family, the closer on the campaign trail.Give it up for Michelle Obama."

Nixon: "I want to say that you have inspired us with your enthusiasm, with your intelligence, with your dedication at this convention. You have made us realize that this is a year when we can prove the experts' predictions wrong..."

Obama: "You know, they said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high...But on this January night, at this defining moment in history, you have done what the cynics said we couldn't do."

Nixon: "This Nation proudly calls itself the United States of America. Let us reject any philosophy that would make us the divided people of America.In that spirit, I address you tonight, my fellow Americans, not as a partisan of party, which would divide us, but as a partisan of principles, which can unite us...And I ask you, my fellow Americans, tonight to join us not in a coalition held together only by a desire to gain power. I ask you to join us as members of a new American majority bound together by our common ideals."

Obama: "In lines that stretched around schools and churches, in small towns and in big cities, you came together as Democrats, Republicans and independents, to stand up and say that we are one nation. We are one people...You said the time has come...To end the political strategy that's been all about division, and instead make it about addition. To build a coalition for change that stretches through red states and blue states."

Nixon: "The choice in this election is not between radical change and no change. The choice in this election is between change that works and change that won't work."

Obama: "We're choosing unity over division, and sending a powerful message that change is coming to America."

Nixon: "I ask you, my fellow Americans, to join our new majority not just in the cause of winning an election, but in achieving a hope that mankind has had since the beginning of civilization. Let us build a peace that our children and all the children of the world can enjoy for generations to come."

Obama: "Hope is the bedrock of this nation. The belief that our destiny will not be written for us, but by us, by all those men and women who are not content to settle for the world as it is, who have the courage to remake the world as it should be."

Bill Pullman: "We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests...We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"

Baltmanimore, MD

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:25:00 +0000

The Wire: Not 4 Attribution
Season 5, Episode 3
Directed by: Joy and Scott Kecken
Written by: Chris Collins

The latest episode of The Wire took us one step closer to the series finale where, presumably, all loose ends will tie themselves and the show's creators will leave us with a sublime ending that crushes our souls with its fatalistic view of mankind's inevitable fall while making us smile at the resilience of our ineptitude. Its title refers to the principle in journalism ethics that requires only a general source for a specific quotation. In this example, Scott, the entitled Sun reporter, fabricates a quote that he falsely attributes to Nareese in order to demonstrate his chops as a reporter to the paper's city editor. The situation nicely parallels McNulty's own equivocations in Homicide where he doctor's reports and crime scenes to create the impression of a serial killer stalking the city's vagrants. Ironically, McNulty must conjure a serial killer to capture the attention of his superiors and spur more funding to the department because a real serial killer, responsible for more than 20 bodies found in city housing, doesn't rank as a primary concern for the department's limited budget.

The convoluted story line of McNulty faking murders, strangling dead bodies, planting clues to establish pathological patterns and enlisting the help of Lester to make things MORE sensational took on a tone of the absurd. If Season 4 of The Wire was a Dickensian tale of lost souls in a heartless city ruled by corruption, then Season 5 is turning out to become a wry, Eastern European story in the vein of Milan Kundera where the only way to bear the vacuous emptiness of state-sponsored bureaucracy is to laugh at its total ineffectualness.

You can't really argue that Simon and co. aren't shooting for the absurd in Season 5. In the 4 seasons of The Wire have you seen anything more ridiculous than Marlo walking through the Caribbean Antilles asking to see his money? Or Corner Boys at Six Flags? Or Omar in a pair of shorts? Or Duq gaming on a white girl? Come on.

The direction of Joy and Scott Kecken seems like a step in a new direction for the series as well. The show has always been well-helmed and very detail oriented with attention to story paramount in the execution, but "Not For Attribution" took on an Altman quality that literally marks a new direction for the series. For example, when Alma walks into the grocery store to buy the early edition of The Sun McNulty is also there purchasing red ribbon for his pet project, in which Alma will later play a part. This cinematic technique has most recently been adopted by Stephen Soderbergh in Traffic and Paul Thomas Anderson in Boogie Nights and Magnolia. This could be a developing season 5 characteristic since we also saw it in episode 1 when Chris approaches Cedric and Ronnie in City Hall and asks directions while they are discussing Marlo Stanfield, for whom he is a henchman. Clearly this is David Simon telling us visually that everything is connected and will be made obvious in season 5.

It seems the meta nature of this season is scheduled to continue through the finale. Remember the scene in episode 2 this year where The Sun editors are discussing how best to frame a story about Baltimore's public schools? The editor-in-chief's line that he didn't want a "sprawling, amorphous depiction of a social ill" was surely a direct quote from the Season 4 brainstorming sessions the writers of the show themselves endured. According to IMDB, Chris Collins, the writer of "Not For Attribution," also penned the episode to air February 10th (episode 6) entitled, appropriately, "The Dickensian Aspect." I think it's fair to say The Wire is only going to get more self-referential this season as story lines reemerge from the past (Nick Sabotka slated to appear in episode 6!) and the show becomes a commentary on itself. That is until the finale where hope will most likely die painfully beneath the heel of city politics and a new breed of dealers, politicians, cops and killers ignorant of the errors of the past continue to perpetuate the ethos of Bodymore, Murderland.

Broetry Theme Song (Renaldo Lapuz AI Remix)

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:27:00 +0000

Some of you may have heard of the internet short TV show known as Broetry that went on to become a finalist for the XBox Live Internet Shorts Competition held this past year at the New York Television Festival.

Those few of you may also know the theme song for Broetry.

But now even fewer of you can rock out to the new remix courtesy of Renaldo Lapuz, age 44 of Reno, NV, who dropped this broriginal tune on Wednesday's American Idol auditions in Dallas.

GUYCON ALERT!

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 19:43:00 +0000

I don't know what color would express the highest level of Guycon Alert but I'm pretty sure it's probably something like BRORANGE.

If you watch the Macworld 2008 video, pay particularly close attention to 24:35. It's at this point that Jobs drops what may be the NUTSIEST thing I've ever seen him do. Unfortunately, I can't extend this to the nutsiest thing I've ever seen any CEO do because I read that book Barbarians at the Gate about the fall of RJR Nabisco and it was like cerebrally epic the extent to which corporate culture has come to represent the most primitive of carnal aggression.

Anyway, it's when he's talking about what other movie studios have joined iTunes in its online renting endeavor. It's pretty sick. Menjoy.

CSI: Second Life After Life

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:35:00 +0000

Today, USA Today dropped this article reflecting on the success of big brand media companies eating up smaller web upstarts. How's the formula worked out so far? You decide.

News Corp + Myspace = Facebook the most popular thing ever

NBC + iVillage = a 4th hour added to the Today show

Conde Nast + reddit.com = you Digg everything, not reddit.

Clearly something's being lost in the translation from old media to new. Take for example CBS, whose acquisitions of web upstarts over the past year make for some of the largest activity in the industry. After sinking money into Second Life contributors Electric Sheep, CBS apparently found itself with a new, unwieldy media platform on its hand that does not fit conservative models of content distribution.

CBS' response? Obviously to cram their new, shiny round peg into whatever raggedy-ass square hole they can find. And as we all know, there ain't no square hole more raggedy than the CSI franchise.

Starting this fall, CBS will try to branch into the virtual space with CSI: New York plot lines that take Gary Sinise's character into Second Life in pursuit of a virtual killer. Yup, you read right. CSI is actually taking the plot of Virtuosity, starring Denzel and Russel Crowe and trying to make it culturally relevant to people who drink so much Amp they trade currency in kidney stones.

TVOTI's prediction? D.O.A.

Illadelph Half-Life?

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:12:00 +0000

Can FX's choice to promote its show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia by airing the entire season premier on Myspace one month before its debut actually build buzz in the show?

I want to watch it. So yeah. Probably.

Watch here on Myspace.

H-B-Blow?

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 21:27:00 +0000

The day HBO announced the cancellation of its new dramatic series John From Cincinnati, Showtime scored its biggest audience ever with the season premier of Weeds and debut of Californication. What does it all mean for the pay-cable power house?

Is Showtime the next HBO? Or is FX already the first Showtime?

Update! Hard Science!

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:43:00 +0000

Turns out Kolata don't know a whole lotta.

In a previous post on the NY Times article on Math, Stats and Sex I facetiously suggested one variable not considered in the statistics used to tabulate the different number of sexual partners between the sexes was the meretricious nature of women and the men who hit it with many of them...at the same time. Surely that could explain the difference between the same population of men and women having significantly varying numbers of sexual partners. If one guy sleeps with three girls at one time, then his numbers soar by 3 while each of the ladies only tack on one, single, lonely notch in their bedposts.

Granted, that's not the most scientific interpretation and I'm a pretty huge idiot so that's, in all likelihood, not a factor responsible for what Gina Kolata described as the difference between the median number of sexual partners of men and women.

Eugene Volokh over at his blog, however, broke the numbers down a little more judiciously and proves why those science articles, even if printed on the venerable presses of the New York Times, are always subject to interpretation and never actually represent hard science.

**Update**

Since some of TV on the INTERNETS readers were humanities majors in college and haven't dealt with an integer since they dropped Calc 2-14 Freshman year, allow us to provide a brief explanation of what Volokh's saying in Lame Man's terms.

Gina Kolata and The New York Times said the median number of sexual partners for men is significantly higher than that of women. Logically, they explain, this is not possible since the population of men and women would not allow for such a large difference of mates between the two sexes. Therefore, men are most likely lying.

Volokh, however, points out the ridiculous slant of the statisticians and their choice to use the median as any indication of sexual activity. For example, if 5 men sleep with 13 women, their average will be 2.6 women per 1 man. If 5 women sleep with 13 men, their average too will be 2.6 men per 1 woman. The two populations are therefore equal in their sexual activity.

However, by using the median as a statistical tool to analyze sexual behavior, Gina Kolata and her "Doctors" just find a way to put a new spin on a very commonplace situation. If, using our original example, 3 of those 5 guys have 3 partners each and 2 of those 5 guys have 2 partners each, then both our average and total stay the same but our median becomes 3.

Still sticking with our original example, if 3 of our women each have just 1 male partner but 2 of the women have 5 male partners then, while our average and total number of men still stay the same (2.6 and 13 relatively) our median becomes only 1.

According to this formula the median sexual partners for our 5 men dwarfs the median sexual partners for our 5 women even though 2 of our hypothetical sluts have more partners than all of our 5 dudes.

The article, therefore, doesn't reveal any new science, just a different way to interpret some pretty standard shit. Thanks Vagina Kolata. Thanks a lotta.

So You Think You Can Dance Predictions: No Homo Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 20:46:00 +0000

After last night's results show for So You Think You Can Dance, I'm well on my way to predicting yet again who the final winners of this year will be. In case you haven't been following along with my interest in the show let me briefly update you. I want to heart hug Sabra beneath a suede duvet filled with tenor saxophones playing sweet arpeggios in a mixolydian scale.

So final prediction: For the first time in the show's history a woman will win, and a black woman at that.

First place - Sabra

Second place - Neil

Evidence for my cause:

Sabra and Dominic in Generaux's STICKWITU Rumba

Sabra and Dominic in Shane Spark's lyrical hip hop routine

Sabra and Neil in Mandy Moore's '80s homage

NY Times: Whole Lotta Kolata

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:52:00 +0000

In her article The Myth, The Math, the Sex, New York Times science writer Gina Kolata draws attention to a statistical anomaly that doesn't quite add up. In nearly all studies men admit to having nearly twice the number of sexual partners over the course of a lifetime than women. "How can that work?" researches ask. "It is logically impossible for heterosexual men to have more partners on average than heterosexual women."

One statistician attempts to explain his point figuratively, clearly a strength with someone who's dedicated their life to numbers and their relationship to each other.

“By way of dramatization, we change the context slightly and will prove what will be called the High School Prom Theorem. We suppose that on the day after the prom, each girl is asked to give the number of boys she danced with. These numbers are then added up giving a number G. The same information is then obtained from the boys, giving a number B.

Theorem: G=B

Proof: Both G and B are equal to C, the number of couples who danced together at the prom. Q.E.D.”

Hey Dr., I don't mean to quibble with your logic, but, um, it seems like you're missing out on one of the most obvious variables for the discrepancy. What if you sleep with 2 women at the same time?

No wonder Gina Kolata can't have as much sex as a normal dude. She DUMB.

Bid on Tix for "So You Think You Can Dance" Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:44:00 +0000

$255 for the chance to creepily wait outside Rupp Arena in Lexington, KY and potentially grab hold of Sabra when she walks by and hug her close to your chest before Wade Robson punches you in the neck and sleeps with your girlfriend? A steal at thrice the price.

Check out the Ticketmaster Auction

Current TV Injures Shoulder Patting Itself on Back After Announcing Launch of Hip Music Content Video Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:34:00 +0000

Current TV has been around for about 2 1/2 years struggling to be the hip center of the new media movement. Al Gore founded the network to give voice to the growing phenomenon of User Generated Content in early 2005.

A lot has happened in the realm of UGC in the past 30 months, however, and very little of it to do with Current TV. Now, I was one of the early fans of the network but the channel was borderline unwatchable. Not so much because of the content submitted by viewers, but by the offensively sterile personalities recruited by the network to represent hip, smart and engaged youth.

Can you imagine anything worse than getting hip and savvy news from this?

Gotham Chopra, contributor Current TV. Also, co-creator of K Lounge, the Kama Sutra themed bar in Manhattan that was kind of bumping that one time I went at like 5:30 on a Wednesday.

Or this?

Conor Knighton, Current TV Contributor

Or this?

Max and Jason, Contributors to Current TV. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

The corn-ball personalities they chose as their faces and the minimal success of Current TV begs the question - is San Francisco too gay to be cool?

Apparently, yes:

But in case you're still on the fence, now's the time to find out. News came out today that Current TV is launching a Music-Video blog to air frequently on the network. The segment will apparently fill the void left by channels like MTV, VH1 and BET abandoning their ostensible objectives of music programming. By focusing on "up-and-coming" acts like Dizzy Rascal (who I'm pretty sure has been kind of huge both in the UK and the US for almost 5 years now), Current TV will ipso facto become the go-to destination for mainstream music news.

There's only one problem. The address for Current TV:

118 King Street
San Francisco, CA 94107p
(415) 995-8200
f (415) 995-8201

Yup, that's the Bay Area and nothing cool having to do with white people has come out of San Francisco since Judd scored Pam the Asian on the Real World.

Even worse, Current TV prides itself on its lame locale and unashamedly provides visitors to its site a link to a Google Map showing you from exactly where that stench of smug mediocrity you find in Trader Joes grocery stores and poetry slams originates.

Current TV can encourage you to FTP them cell phone videos of My Morning Jacket live at Lollapalooza until its XML is blue in the face. That won't change what has always been the case. San Francisco's just too lame to be cool.

Dear John

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:19:00 +0000

Is the writing on the wall for premium cable heavy-weight HBO? The day competitor Showtime dropped the season 3 premier of Weeds and the debut of its new original show Californication HBO announced the cancellation of David Milch's John from Cincinnati.

I can't say it's a surprise. TV on the INTERNETS is just so in tune with the aura of television development decisions that we almost prophetically eulogized the show in last night's post linking to an interview with Milch, which we noticed was imbued with a sense of somber reflection.

A quote from Milch:

"[I am] grateful for the experience...My feeling is that you
can't waste a second on remorse."

God's speed, John From Cincinnati. Or whatever esoteric surfer slang can convey that spiritual metaphor.

Super Bad Super Man

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:12:00 +0000

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

Milch Money 101

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 01:30:00 +0000

David Milch on the semiotics of John From Cincinnati. Courtesy of Cynthia Littleton's blog "On the Air" from Variety.com. Some highlights to entice you to read further:

"[I've thought a lot about] tactics of fictive argument, generally."

And:

"...the fact that story uses as its building blocks words or characters that the
audience believes it has some prior recognition or understanding of, is really
simply the beginning of the story, but not its end."

So throw on that sweaty hooded sweatshirt, make yourself a bowl of ramen and cozy up to the sage insight of Professor David Milch on the metaphysics of post-modern story-telling.

Further reading:

"John from Cincinnati": David Milch speaks

Avid Online Entourage Fans Hate Minorities? Or Avid Online Fans of Racism Love Entourage?

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 20:23:00 +0000

Now, I know Fan Message Boards aren't the first place one should look for cool, rational, objective and insightful comments about a particular television show, but some times they're just too crazy to ignore.

Take for example a recent debate on the HBO.com message boards for August 12th's episode of Entourage "The Young and the Stoned." A poster going by the name of HBBro, after speaking somewhat intelligently about the show, decided to play the race card and said:

However, the presence of a black director really underscored the show's dearth of diversity. When's the last time a black actor's had a line in the show since Turtle's short-lived courtship of the sneaker chick from You Got Served?

At this point, Entourage loyalists joined the fray and responded:

Oh, please. Shut the hell up and stop playing the fucking race card. It's a fucking TV show, if you don't like it because "black guys aren't featured" then don't watch, simple as that.

And:

...here's a show for HBBRO, The Wire plenty of "african-americans" in that show leave ENTOURAGE as is!

And:

There wasn't enough white people on Cosby Show either!!!!!!!!

And:

Wait!! Doesnt Turtle count as a black person??? He acts and dresses more black than most African Americans do.

And:

With Turtles stupid hats and the lame Hipity Hopity music they play on this show it could easily run on BET.

In defense of the show's message boards, one fan came to HBBro's aid. A poster conspicuously using the pseudonym "DouglasEllin" said:

I'm simply amazed that this alleged "message board" is limited to the intelligence of a selected few, i.e., anyone with opposing minds need not apply. If one wants to spark a discussion of race (while admittedly a heavy one concerning such a fluffy show), why must that poster be chased out to the parking lot, so to speak? This kind of oh-shut-the-fuck-up! attitude merely turns prospective posters away, and invariably perpetuates a boys-club/locker-room mentality that, at the end of the day, includes the same 10 dudes high-fiving each other and whipping each others' buttocks with wet towels in their confined bubble while the great big world outside rolls onward.

Granted this high-minded defense of free speech on the HBO message boards loses some of its luster when you seriously take the time to consider that the poster actually uses the name of Entourage creator Doug Ellin to underscore his noble points. Which means, he's probably crazy and sleeps on a mattress fashioned from rejected Spec Scripts.

In any case, the question still remains: Do avid online fans of Entourage really hate minorities? Naw, I'm sure Avid fans of racism just really love their Entourage.

The Darjeeling Limited

noreply@blogger.com (Mahotma in Herre) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:08:00 +0000

From: Anonymous [mailto:ANONYMOUS@gmail.com]

Sent: Monday, August 13, 2007 11:57 AM

To: TV on the INTERNETS

Subject: Re: FW: Sundance Doc winner "Manda Bala" opening @ Angelika next weekend! GO SEE THIS FANTASTIC FILM!

Body: have you seen this?

An exerpt from my emotional response:

You know, I hadn't yet, but I'm really glad I have...[EDIT]

So, you know, I've been simultaneously stoked and worried about this for some time now. On one hand, it sounds awesome. On the other, it's white people in India. And not just India, NORTH EAST INDIA, an area that holds pride in never falling to the Mughals, being the last to succumb to British Imperialism and now, apparently, the last to withstand the onslaught of white dudes with video cameras.

But if anyone had to do it I can't imagine anyone I'd be more comfortable with than Schwartzman and Anderson. I even saw a few other paliating names and faces in the trailer. Irfan Khan from the Namesake and Roman Coppola with a writing credit.

Also, you have to appreciate Anderson's style. The color schemes, the production design, the reproduction of reality so heavily steeped in theater and theatricality. Even the title is hilarious. The transcontinental trian in India is actually called The Darjeeling Express. I don't even know if a Darjeeling Limited even exists. That alone makes me believe that this movie will be awesome but will be ruined by legions of hardcore Anderson loyalists who will either blindly adore the movie or irrationally hate it. This seems like one of those flicks I'd like to see alone in the dark. With a comforter and someone nearby to carry me into bed. That part may sound weird but fuck you for being such a phillistine.

Sweet trailer. Thanks.

Sincerely,
TV on the INTERNETS