TV Talkin' Blog

A Mad Men Three Way ... Podcast Vol. 1: Zou Bisou, Bisou

2012-03-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

They should have called the "Mad Men" Season 5 premier "Introducing Megan." Jessica Pare earned her spot as one of the show's leads. The Three Way crew -- Paul the accountant, Rebecca the librarian and Dan the newsman -- discuss Megan's coming out party.

Talkin' 'Boardwalk Empire'

2010-11-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

By PAUL RUSSELL

TV Talkin' Blog Duke of Depreciation

“Boardwalk Empire” is the show that is probably grabbing the most buzz this fall TV season. That is by design, HBO will spend money on an extravagant show as the people who order HBO are spending sizable entertainment dollar for the purpose of experience something grand, something to talk about at the water cooler or eating out. HBO shows such as “Rome" or the “Sopranos” or “Deadwood” were equally big splashes. “True Blood” has been a hit but not a extravagant production. “Empire” is a response to the success of shows on AMC and FX.

“Empire” has a huge boardwalk set and it provides beautiful sets. Martin Scorsese directs the pilot and the cinematography, the costumes, and technical elements feel movie quality. Episode two, directed by Terrence Winter, the creator feels just as good, perhaps absent a few Scorsese flourishes but no matter.

As far as the show itself, it is a historical depiction of the rise of the mob in the prohibition set chiefly in Atlantic City. New York and Chicago mob interests are shown as well as the G-men assigned to combat them. It almost feels easier to describe “Empire” in terms of its HBO predecessors. I am as big a fan of HBO as I am loathe to appreciate facts. Steve Buscemi is as good here as he was in the "Sopranos." He plays many roles here and well but that should be no surprise as I feel he was nuanced in "Sopranos" as well. The cast and plot is cluttered as the show begins while still enjoyable, much like "The Wire" felt confusing to know characters but that would not prevent you from being interested in them. “Empire” has some of the same dark humor and frontier violence of “Deadwood,” a personal favorite. The acting feels strong across the board.

The only actor I want to mention is Kelly Macdonald, the actress who plays wife to a drunk half employed baker. Hers is an interesting character and I am not sure where it is going. Most gangster shows are filled with gangster anti-heros, their women who have to embrace their lifestyle and the men pursuing them. Her husband is killed early on, she loses her baby from a beating from him and she rejects mob leaders Buscemi’s offer of money…although she seems willing to accept a job and feels a certain attraction to him. Her character is the lone figure that represents the perils of drinking and Sopranos had few innocents so I am curious where she fits in. I enjoyed her work as the young wife in “No Country for Old Men” and the new servant in Robert Altman’s “Gosford Park”, both roles where she kind of represents the innocent newcomer or the audience perhaps. I look forward to her performances.

Talkin' TV fall TV cop shows

2010-11-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

We might as well put a picture of a hot chick on top of the blog. That's as likely to get somebody to click on this thing as actual researsh, reporting and writing. Ethics are for journalism students.

Paul: Dano!

Dan: Hey pal, Want to talk cop shows?

Paul: Much like the five-tool player or the "war of five kings" in George RR Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire Fantasy" series. (Soon to be on HBO.)

Dan: Geez. Do you get a kickback every time you mention HBO on this blog or in conversation with me? If so, I want a piece of that.

Paul: Fine, we will discuss your five new cop shows.

Dan: "OK, I tried "Hawaii Five-0," "Chase," "Law & Order: Los Angeles," "Detroit 1-8-7" and "Blue Bloods."

Paul: OK. Most cop shows are procedurals. Which of these has the best story framework.

Dan: I should say that as a consequence of my work, I have trouble with most cop shows because they are so patently unbelievable.

Paul: Sure. In college, Noc and my physics roomate's pharmacy girlfriend would dissect "ER."

Dan: So, for a cop show to work for me, it's got to have a fantasy level that engages me beyond the standard cliches. This is why I could enjoy "24" even though it's plots were increasingly absurd.

Paul: That makes me think "Hawaii Five-0" works.

Dan: You're right.

Paul: It is illogigical, but the theme song is cool. James Caan's son, Scott Caan, is charaismatic like his dad. There is a hot Asian chick.

Dan: "Hawaii Five-0" makes a small action movie every week.It's replete with buddy cop one-liners, explosions, car chases and bikinis. This is all that a man can ask for from a television show.

Paul: these guys are having fun. So you enjoy it. "Chase," on the other hand, is she having fun?

Dan: "Chase" is godawful. The lead woman is brooding and hard-faced.The shows cliches — such as it taking forever to trace a telephone call — just add to its failure as fiction.

I can almost see the writers' meeting. "I know, let's have a hot chick star in a cop show." After that, the thinking pretty much stopped. That show is junk. It's like an off-brand cereal. You wanted delicious Lucky Charmes, buy you got the tasteless Magic Oats.

Paul: OK, what about "Blue Bloods?" I believe you found this surprisingly enjoyable.

Dan: Yes. There are a lot of cop families. That's a believable premise. I'm sort of tired of shows about crime families. Tom Seleck plays a good grizzled patriarch who juggles being a father of cops and the chief of police. The supporting cast is believable and the tensions between family members are played out honestly. In the pilot, there's a Sunday dinner in which the family end up arguing about work. Two or three family members storm out of the room. Selleck says, "Well, I've got a good piece of hind quarters here" holding up pork roast on a fork.

Paul: OK. So how are the cop cases in "Blue Bloods?"

Dan: OK. In the pilot, there is a kidnapping. One of the son's, a detective, beat up a suspect to find out where the girl was hidden. The assistant d.a., which is a daughter in the family and the cop's sister, can't prosecute because his confession was obtained illegally. This leads to a big argument at Sunday dinner.

Paul: It is a good storyline for moral ambiguity.

Dan: It's an issues story that's discussed evenhandedly and thoughtfully with both sides divided within the same family at the same table. That's politics in 21st century America if I've ever seen it.

Dan: A subplot in the episode involves the youngest son becoming a cop even though his older brother was shot and killed in the line of duty. The youngest cop is approached by internal affairs agents to help investigate a secret society within the police department that may have had his brother killed.

Paul: Good grief. That feels like a little too much going on.

Dan: Yeah, I sometimes felt a little overwhelmed. Not every case in the department centers around this family.

Paul: OK. We like “Five-O.” “Chase” can go chase it’s own tale. “Blue Bloods” is good, solid fare, like a good Sunday pot roast dinner. “Detroit 1-8-7?”

Dan: The problem with "1-8-7" is that I've seen "The Wire." I know what a cop show set in a decaying American city looks like. It isn't "Detroit1-8-7." The police force and the city has cartoonish racial diversity. More than 65 percent of Detroit cops are black. Why doesn’t the show reflect that? It’s almost as bad as marketing materials from a college in which you see three minority kids smiling with one white kid. There’s an Indian guy, a black guy on the verge of retirement (oddly, not played by Danny Glover) and some quirky white guy who has interpersonal problems. The first episode is about a white spree killer. This happens in the world, but more than 75 percent of all homicides go unsolved in Detroit. I would watch a show about a department who can barely keep up with homicides. Real drama is how cops handle the pressure to solve crimes and a crumbling city infrastructure, budget and so on.

Paul: That show was called "Homicide"

Dan: And "The Wire."

Paul: Right. Both by the same guys set in another decaying city, Baltimore.

Dan: This is a show that plays quasi-Motown blues music over montages of generic streets and has the case-of-the-week flavor of "Law & Order" without the accompanying entertainment. “Detroit 1-8-7” just insults me. The world doesn't look like this. It doesn't work like this. If you're going to use the name Detroit, then act like the city. Don't give me some ordinary garbage and pretend it’s special because Detroit is in the name. This show is so weak it could set in Des Moines.

Paul: OK. “Law & Order: Los Angeles.”

Dan: I like it the way I like "Law & Order" and "Law & Order: SVU." Why? Because I like fish sandwiches from McDonald's. I know exactly what they are. I know exactly how they taste. And it doesn't really matter where I get them, whether its New York or L.A. or Des Moines.

Paul: Dick Woolf is an old pro. Alan Sepinwall, my idol, claims the cast is uninteresting. “Law & Order” embraced New York. L.A. is too pretty to have crime. If I want to watch hot people in a crime show, “Hawaii Five-0" is a better bet.

Dan: I stand by my McLaw&Order take.

Paul: So, in the final analysis, are you going to watch any of these shows going forward?

Dan: “Hawaii Five-0” is a certainty. “Blue Bloods,” too. “Chase” and “Detroit 1-8-7” were dead on arrival for me. I’ll probably just watch “Law & Order: Los Angeles” in a TNT marathon some Sunday. And there’s always Retro TV reruns of my favorite cop show of all time, “Adam-12.”

Talkin' "Mad Men" season four finale predictions

2010-10-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

By DANIEL "Paragraph Paragon" FINNEY and PAUL "Spreadsheet Sultan" RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Bandwidth Abusers

Paul: Mad Men Season Finale Predictions

1. Bert Cooper comes back. Maybe Don has to do a little butt-kissing, but Bert softens a little.

2. We see Sal.

Dan: That would be nice. Sal gives up his body so they can have Lucky Strike back.

Paul: I think the tobacco slave ship has sailed

3. Their is a marriage proposal, but not Don-Faye. Peggy-weird filmmaker dude

4. There is a fissure with Pete and the in-laws. A Pete divorce, sets up Pete-Peggy next year. Pete has been kicked around by his own family these, then these in-laws. I think he stands up for himself. It would complete the Redemption of Pete.

5. The firm survives somehow, but I am not sure how.Bonus Prediction: Betty's husband has a secret Betty finds out about.

Dan: 1. Don proposes to Megan.

2. Pete lands a huge account, becomes a full partner.

3. The firm lands American Cancer Society, which is worth $25 million in annual billings due to Don's letter.

4. Roger dies.

5. Joan kept the baby.

Bonus prediction: Betty has cancer.

Paul: Wow. I like it. We can get a cancer poster with Betty on it. One side has her dazzling in the fur coat. The other has a hagged out, cancer-ridden Betty, specially portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker.

Talkin' The CW's "Hellcats"

2010-10-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

By PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Sultan of Spreadsheets

“Hellcats” is a new show on the The CW this year, a mix of the movies “Election” and “Bring it On” in simple terms.

Where “Outsourced” took a formula from the 2006 movie it is based on and stripped away its thin pleasures, the pilot of “Hellcats” shows our central character watch “Bring It On” to prepare for her cheerleader audition. “Hellcats” is not afraid to take what works from another show. To openly admit it is a nice note, as it is what the audience is thinking anyway.

Most shows work on one of two levels. There is the procedural with a compelling story each week: “LA Law,” “NYPD Blue,” “ER.” The action or story each week keeps the audience interested and the actors and dialogue hopefully is enjoyable but it is not the focus.

Then you have the show where writing and characters are more important. “According to Jim” is inane but Jim Belushi is a lovable guy. Be it “Seinfield” or “Cheers“ or “How I Met Your Mother,” you want to like the characters and the stories give them a chance to do something amusing. Barney Miller does not require compelling crime.

“Mad Men” has little going on for episodes. “Breaking Bad” has a relatively simple story line, and “Rubicon” has story that does not always work, but these AMC shows have characters that are compelling.

Some shows are a mix, either they do both well or survive in the middle. “Bring it On” has a simple storyline but it is nice to see Kristen Dunst fall for the good guy and fit into the complex social stratosphere of a cheerleading team at a new school.

“Hellcats” has those character elements in place: the new cheerleader who lost her scholarship and is forced to cheer, the idealistic team captain with grudging respect for the new girl, the poisonous cheerleader whose status is in danger.

These are tried and true characters but they can work. “Hellcats” works in a way that the new “Nikita” fails and it is hard to describe why. “Glee” has storyline elements in the way “The OC” “The Office” and other shows in this space do and so does “Hellcats:” the first few episodes have an important competition, bonding with the squad, family issues, the idealistic and naïve cheerleader dates the new girl’s guy friend.

Somehow these stories work as “Nikita” failed to give their attractive stars something to do. “Hellcats” also compares to “High School Musical,” watching young people start out in life holds a nostalgic appeal and the hope of new beginnings.

As a Memphis native, I feel compelled to mention the setting. There are shows that make excellent use of their surroundings: “Miami Vice,” “NYPD Blue,” a show like “John from Cincinnati.”

“Entourage” and “Making it in America” can sometimes fail completely in terms of story characters and writing and the atmospherics provide some enjoyment. Memphis has had a recent growth in its entertainment industry: “Walk the Line,” “Hustle and Flow,” there is a MTV show based on local music scene. “The Firm” started things rolling.

“Memphis Beat” is set here and Jason Lee gives episodic monologues about confessing and cooperating with cops for the honor of Memphis, but there is scant evidence of Memphis as a compelling reason to do anything in that show.

“Hellcats” shows Beale Street. There are Mississippi River views. I think some filming takes place at Rhodes College, but regardless it is a nice southern collegiate setting for the campus scenes. The new girls mom ingratiates herself with barbecue and someone is mentioned as coming from Millington, home of Justin Timberlake. In the third episode, the date, our naïve cheerleader appears to get smashed on hurricanes, presumably at the Pat O’Briens on Beale street. These are

nice touches.

So if you are fan of teen soap operas or character shows where the action is like a “Glee” or “Community” or “High School Musical” you may enjoy “Hellcats.” It is a show that does not command must view status but one I will enjoy in the background doing chores around the house.

Talkin' Fox-TV's "Lone Star" blues

2010-10-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

By DANIEL P. FINNEY and PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writers

Paul the accountant and Dan the newsman give in-depth analysis of Fox-TV's critically acclaimed, surefire hit "Lone Star."

Dan: I watched the first episode of "Lone Star." Paul: Yeah. "Lone Star" was a good pilot. Dan: I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it given how contrived the plot is. I'm looking forward to the next episode. Paul: It has been canceled. Dan: Really? Wow. Paul: Two episodes and dead. These shows are expensive. You can throw some reality thing on. I don't know. Dan: Well, never mind then. Paul: Yeah.

Talkin' NBC's "Outsourced" ... sort of

2010-10-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

By PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writer

This review of “Outsourced” will serve as more than that, as the show does not merit a lot of
attention and if I introduce myself and my methods now, by contrast with “Outsourced” they may
seem exemplary in comparison.

First methodology, I am not going to actually watch this show.

I mean to employ a kind of applied or theoretical science. Like chaos theory in mathematics that looks for trends or patterns in randomness or the Heisenberg uncertainty principle where fairly accurate but never precise assumptions are made about particles by the waves from an electron microscope, my methodology does not represent hard science.

I am going to look at the 2006 "Outsourced" movie and extrapolate. I will see an "Outsourced" commercial or media picture of the cast, and reason that if this slice of the show is this bad the trend of the whole show is bad.

If critics look at the show and hold up there nose as if smelling rancid curry, I could watch this show and lend precision to my own review but my own feelings would range from “horrid” to "unwatchable."

The good thing about TV or film criticism is it is not going to be far wrong. If something gets a C+, you might give it a D or a B but rarely an A or F. By all accounts “Outsourced” is an F that is “Plan Nine from Outer Space” bad that critics are enjoying firing off shots at like fish in a barrel. The idea of reviewing a show without watching it provides some insight into myself in that I frown on facts, they are often unamusing and get in the way of a better imagined scenario of events.

If “Outsourced” is bad, it can be examined the same way one looks at the Edsel or a roadside car crash or as a cautionary tale, studied like the "Fall of the Roman Empire."

The 2006 "Outsourced" movie I have seen and it was mildly amusing. It mined the realities of corporate outsourcing, cultural differences between east and west and a "Pride and Prejudice"-style love story with a hot Indian woman. If you are a studio exec weighing the merits of a show, you have elements here to work with.

Except the male lead is not endearing and has no backstory, the cultural differences are not examined seriously except for the most obvious retread jokes and no effort was put into examining corporate outsourcing in a serious way as this is a lighthearted network comedy.

Network TV will not have an unclothed hot Indian woman either. The movie had slight amusements and those elements have been removed. Season 2 of "The Wire" dealt with the decline of the American city in some detail and most fans of "The Wire" liked Season 2 the least and "The Wire" had a small fan base to begin with. So instead global economic trends are treated with whimsy, a “Dude, Where’s my Job?” for the small screen. I am confused how this show moved past the idea stage.

While “Outsourced” is of slim interest, I would like to introduce a concept of Top Five lists related in some way to what is being reviewed. This may be a crummy show but the top five list may point to something better.

Top Five Dramatic Productions Glamorizing Something Not Really that Glamourous:

1. "Annie" — Orphan is adopted by Daddy Warbucks. Lots of song and dance numbers in an
orphanage. I also like the name Warbucks, equating wealth and war.

2. "Miss Saigon" — A musical set in Vietnam, very romantic

3. "Rent" — The carefree existence of idealistic artists struggling with Aids and discrimination
against sexual orientation. Rent portrays life as gritty and unfair for these “artists”, so the
depiction is not unrealistic just glamorized as noble. Even white people try to stay health
and concern themselves with status in society, why are those issues more evocative to
artist?

4. "Dude, Where is my Car?" — Two hung-over white kids try to find their car and to order fast
food. See, white people have problem too.

5. "Roger and Me" – Oh wait, this was actual good. Before Michael Moore championed every noble left wing cause, this picture took a look at Flint Michigan, a town in decline due to a fading American auto industry. Michael Moore pursues an interview with GM CEO Roger Smith, a failed and pointless endeavor. Interviewing an auto CEO was not going to bring back the prosperous past or even secure a better future, but it was a sweet and non-glamorous endeavor in the vein of "Don Quixote." If you are interested in the human face of jobs moving across the globe or the American city, this is a good one to watch.

Top Five Lines of Dialogue Related to the Domestic Arts:

1. Wax On, Wax Off – "Karate Kid" blue collar martial arts training regime, long before "Kill Bill."

2. Out, Out, Damned Spot – Some kind of spot in some clothes that relates to a treacherous act, courtesy of Shakespeare. I would provide more facts here except I am not high on facts as mentioned earlier and high school English class was filled with English writers and American writers fancying themselves English was filled with scarlet letters and portraits of dorian gray and seven gables with scarlet letters on them, one metaphor representing the shame of masturbation runs together with the next metaphor.

3. Halluh! – Not precisely dialogue related to cleaning something, but in "Mrs. Doubtfire,"
plucky dad Robin Williams puts his face in a lemon merriange pie to maintain his undercover identity with Sally Field and he can stay close to his family. I would have liked Robin to choke on some pie crust in production, to spare us the afterbirth of the whole "Medea" Tyler Perry empire. If there is a "Top Five Worst Legacy" list in future, Mrs. Doubtfire would make my list.

4. <blank> - Did anything noteworthy happen in "Mr. Mom" or "Maid to Order?" How about "Mr.Belvedere," "Whose the Boss?" Or the Fran Drescher sit-com? I will do some research by
watching the "Whose the Boss" adult-themed parody.

5. "You scrub the elephant, then you wash the elephant. You wash it, then you scrub it." —This is a line of dialogue (or fairly close) by Hrundi V. Bakshi as played by Peter Sellers in “The Party”, a Blake Edwards comedy. If you are looking for ridiculous Indian related jokes, you should see this film. No one does absurd humor like Sellers and Edwards. The humor should be no less dated than in “Outsourced”.

So in summary, “Outsourced” is bad. I recommend the 2006 movie or "Roger and Me" or "The Party." Also, "A Passage to India" for east-west relations.

Talkin' "Mad Men" Season Four, Episode 10: "Hands and Knees"

2010-09-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

By PAUL RUSSELL and DANIEL P. FINNEY
TV Talkin’ Blog Staff Writers

Paul the accountant and Dan the newsman discuss the 10th episode of the fourth season of “Mad Men,” “Hands and Knees.”

PAUL: One thing "Mad Men" does is there will be a long stretch of episodes where not much happens, but there are tensions to distract us. Peggy is unhappy or Don is drinking and Betty gets a bug up her butt. So this episode, there was a tension related to the Beatles concert. You’re like, ‘Oh, I wonder how the Beatles thing goes.’ Do the tickets fall through and the Don’s daughter flips out. But that went fine and everything else that could go wrong did so.

DAN: This was the best episode of the season thus far. The last three episodes have been grand slams. Everybody is swept up in their secrets and lies. Don’s lie could crush his family and collapse the new firm. Roger’s and Joan’s lie results in an abortion. Roger’s other lie puts the firm on the brink. Pete’s lie saves Don but possibly wrecks the agency. And what a dramatic moment to have Don reveal the truth of his life to Faye.

PAUL: Also, don’t forget Lane Pryce’s storyline: he has a black girlfriend and his father hits him like a pimp would. That was a great scene. You wonder what will come out of it. Will Don address his past? Will Betty forgive Don? Will Betty grow up some? Will Joan look at her life differently? Will Pryce stand up for himself? Lee Garner Jr. saying to Roger that he inherited the account and Don telling Pete he can run the agency without him.

DAN: The Lee Garner Jr. moment is powerful. It’s basically saying Roger has never accomplished anything and rode his father’s coattails to riches.

PAUL: The great thing about the Garner deal is you always picture Lee Garner Jr. being immature and that immaturity or secret gay lifestyle will end up wrecking the relationship. But no, the company moved from a family business to a corporation and a 30-year relationship means nothing.

DAN: Sure, in the end, it’s Roger whimpering.

PAUL: What did you think of Roger talking to Joan about the baby?

DAN: Roger is a character I don't like. I should say, he's the kind of person I don't like. He's a character who behaves in ways I hate. But he's a perfectly created character. He rests on laurels earned by others. He’s a crap father, husband and business man. So, here, he's trying desperately to be a good guy. He probably loves Joan. But he's gotten her pregnant. Both are married to other people. He actually suggests, "Well, maybe your husband will get killed in Vietnam." The amazing thing is she doesn't flip out. Instead she says, "That's not a solution."

PAUL: He has that great line. He says something like “I think I just might love you.” Wow. How romantic.

DAN: I guess this is an upgrade from him saying “You’re the best piece of ass I’ve ever had.”

PAUL: Yeah, it felt like a downgrade.

DAN: Roger has been maudlin this season. Everything that gives him his identity is evaporating. Lucky Strike . His health. His World War II hero status. Nobody gives a flip about his advertising war stories book. Roger is in danger of extinction. Earlier in the series, he complained that no one respected the work he did. It turns out for good reason. He didn’t do any work. He’s a crummy person. Lucky Strike bolts. He calls old contacts. He learns they’re dead and he hasn’t bothered to keep in touch with them anyway. He’s accomplished nothing. His whole life is as much a lie as Don’s. At least Don has Faye. Roger wants Joan, but she is noncommittal. Nothing good has ever come out of Joan and Roger.

PAUL: A parrot. A fur coat.

PAUL: So the episode ends with Don looking at the new secretary, Megan.

DAN: Yes, this is ominous, I think.

PAUL: Well, this could mean many things. Don could be leering. He could admire her because she is an innocent unlike everyone else in the episode where they tested Pond’s Cold Cream with Faye. the secretary stood out there helpful, honest and earnest. She likes Don’s daughter. She is seen putting on her make up. No cares. She is leaving the office behined her. No secrets to keep her and no secrets to harm her. I feel like something is being built towards. Maybe Don hooks up with the secretary to punish himself for being happy with Faye.

DAN: I hope not. But then “Mad Men” excels at not giving the viewer what he wants. I hope it’s a ruse, like Beatles tickets.

PAUL: The secretary is a good enough actress to merit a bigger storyline. Don makes for a balanced character. You often have a show with a charismatic bad guy who is revealed to have a good side to make him more appealing to the audience. Don could easily be a charismatic villain.

DAN: This is one of the running themes of this year’s season. There is a lot of long-term bad behavior finally reaching a comeuppance point. Don has lied for decades and it threatens everything. Joan and Roger rekindle previous bad behavior and it leads to an abortion and stirs up troubling feelings. There is also transitions and a meditation on modern aging, a changing of the guard sort of like Bob Dylan’s “The Times Are A Changin’.”

PAUL: So we are down to the final three episodes of the season.

DAN: That’s depressing. TV should be this good in six or seven slots on the schedule, not one. I mentioned before I have several new shows gathering dust on my DVR already. I was one-and-done for "Chase" and "Nikita." I want more shows that seem like they have a plan. I want more shows that don't do things to pander to the ratings. I want more shows that are good, that value character, story and acting. I want to enjoy more television.

Talkin' NBC's "Chase"

2010-09-28T02:55:00.000-07:00

Kelli Giddish does her "Run, Lola, Run" impression in the terrifically terrible, cliche-ridden new NBC-TV drama about U.S. Marshals kung-fu fighting with super criminals while running in tight pants.

By DANIEL P. FINNEY
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writer

Wow. This show is bad. This is eye-rolling bad.

"Chase" follows hard-faced U.S. Marshal Annie Frost (Kelli Giddish) as she and her appropriately diverse team (young guy fresh out of the academy, black woman, veteran guy who is happy to play second to the woman and a Latino guy) in chasing fugitives.

What it really is, though, is a dull collection of cop show cliches with choreographed fight scenes.

Cliche 1: The lead character is a female fugitive hunter U.S. Marshal. Her motivation? Apparently her daddy was a fugitive and used her as a shield. Here's why people really become cops: 1. They had a cop in the family. 2. They were in the military. 3. They thought it was a cool job with decent pay. 4. They have a strong sense of justice and civic spirit. 5. They like to ride around in cars with lights and carry guns. Most of the cops I know fit in the first four slots. A few fit into the last spot. None of the cops I've ever met were the children of super criminals driven to right the wrongs of their family's past. Maybe that happened. Once.

Cliche 2: It takes cops forever to trace a phone call. It doesn't. Think about it. The GPS on your smart phone tells applications like Foursquare and various navigation programs where you are with in a few hundred feet. Do we really believe in 2010 that you have to keep a guy on the line for 5 minutes to trace their location? Use a land line, cops know where you are the moment you connect with dispatch. Use a cell phone, they know where you are with in a few feet of the local mobile phone tower.

Cliche 3: The bad guy kills seven or eight people in a span of a few days and isn't caught. Mass murderers are very rare. They don't happen that often. Except, apparently, every episode of a bad cop shows.

Cliche 4: Bad guys and cops fight like ninjas from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." This isn't how fights go. You fight a cop, maybe you get a swing in. Then they beat the crap out of you with a nightstick or ASP baton. There may be hair pulling. The groin could take a boot or two. I guarantee you no cop is slipping off their belt while doing a roundhouse kick and strangling a guy unconscious.

Cliche 5: Cops will jump 50 feet into the river to pursue a suspect when they could have just shot the guy -- a suspected murderer of at least three people when he was standing on the street right in front of them. Look, cops don't want to shoot people. They don't. But they will, especially a dangerous suspect who has already killed people. I'm not even going to get into how stupid it is to dive 50 feet or more off of a bridge into water. The fact that both the suspect and the cop in the episode didn't have multiple broken bones is beyond me.

Here's the real problem with this show: In an hour, they managed to do nothing that I haven't seen before nor did they create a single interesting character. Most of the time, I'll forgive unrealistic nonsense if the story is good. But this story is just boring. And bad.

"America's Most Wanted" gives a better picture of fugitive hunts than this. Watch back-to-back episodes of "Cops" on Fox. If you want real excitement, go for a ride-along with your local police. (Anybody can do it. Really.) Just don't watch "Chase." The only race this show is in is to see if it's the first of fall's offerings to end up canceled by Halloween.

Grade: F

Talkin' Fall TV Shows We're Gonna Try

2010-09-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

By DANIEL P. FINNEY and PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writers

What shows will make it in 2010? Dan the newsman and Paul the accountant discuss what they're going to sample, what's going to be a hit and what will crash and burn.

Paul: I’ve pulled up the 2010-2011 United States Network Television Schedule. Let’s start with Sunday.

Paul: Sunday has one new show, “Bob’s Burgers,” a cartoon about a small business that sells burgers.

Dan: I will give “Bob’s Burgers” a shot. I watch most of the animation block anyway, so it’s not that big of a deal to give that eyes. Besides, for the first half of the season, it will be football stuff until 7 p.m.

Paul: I am already set for Sunday anyway. I’ve got “Mad Men” and I’ve been watching “Rubicon” recently. Plus, I’ve got soccer on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

Dan: The amazing thing about Sunday is that there is not one other show on Sunday, besides football, that I would even consider watching. Saturday and Sunday, it's set aside for football.

Paul: On Monday, there’s this “Lone Star” show. I’m skeptical. It’s about a guy juggling two families. I feel like “Big Love has this beat.

Dan: Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll throw it on the DVR and see how long it stays around.

Paul: Also Monday, “Hawaii Five-0.” I might watch the pilot.

Dan: Did people actually care about that show the first time? Can’t we just buy the DVDs or rent it from Netflix? I tell you, though, I’m going to watch it because Grace Park is hot. This is a bad move on my part.

Paul: Why is that?

Dan: Because I watched “Tru Calling” and “Dollhouse” because Eliza Dushku was hot. That was a failure that still stains my soul.

Paul: Ready for Tuesday?

Dan: Well, hold on a second. What about "The Event?" This has been relentlessly promoted all summer in Entertainment Weekly. I feel like I will give it a shot.

Paul: It feels like to much like “Flash Forward” or “Heroes” or “The 4400.” Will there be another “Lost?”

Dan: It’s got that vibe, but what the hell? I’ll give it a shot.

Paul: It says “alien invasion” to me.

Dan: Finally on Monday, there is "The Chase." It's a hot chick running a U.S. Marshall's unit in south Texas.

Paul: “Walker, Texas Ranger” crossed with “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?” I don’t know. She just looks like another Starbucks.

Dan: It could be. I'm going to try the two shows.

Paul: You are right. Better to watch too much than too little.

Dan: OK, Tuesday.

Paul: Sure. “No Ordinary Family.” The family has superpowers from going to the Amazon like that Disney movie, “The Incredibles.”

Paul: Michael Chiklis, the Thing from “The Fantastic Four.” The mom (Julie Bentz) is from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.”

Dan: I don’t know. They’re basically ripping off “The Fantastic Four,” which was a comic book from 1961.

Paul: “Detriot 1-8-7” is a James Michael Imperioli (of “Sopranos” and “Goodfellas” fame) project. His other cop show (“Life on Mars”) failed. I’m out, I think, unless it has Tony and Carmela, I’m uninterested.

Dan: I will try "Detroit 1-8-7" because I like gritty cop shows and it's set in one of America's most doomed cities. Maybe it will have a “The Wire” vibe.

Paul: Dan, “Detroit 1-8-7” is on ABC. Do you really think it will compare to “The Wire,” which was on HBO? Think.

Dan: A man can hope.

Paul: OK, done with Tuesday?

Dan: I gave a scant glance at “Running Wilde” with Keri Russell. But she wasn't even hot enough for me to watch "Felicity" when she was in her 20s. I cant' imagine she'd float my boat now.

Paul: Well, “Running Wilde” has “Arrested Development” alums and has that feel. So I assumed you we be out.

Dan: It’s true. I’m the only man ever who hated “Arrested Development.”

Paul: Wednesday. “Hellcats” is a cheerleader show. Did you like “Election?” Did you like “Bring It On?”

Dan: I did on both counts.

Paul: Based on that, I think it’s worth a shot.

Dan: Fine, but that’s it for me on Wednesday.

Paul: “Raising Hope” is like “Mr. Mom.”

Dan: It’s like I always say: “I’m not a father and shall always try to do right and be good so God will not make me one.” I don’t care about children raising parents and all those issues. Not for entertainment. Yawn.

Paul: Thursday has 2 promising shows: “Nikita” and “Outsourced.” I always enjoyed the USA “Nikita.”

Dan: Sigh. The only alternatives to cop shows, medical dramas and lawyer shows are shows with girls who kick ass or have vampires.

Paul: There is also “Shit My Dad Says” on CBS. That is a show for people who like their families. Next.

Dan: Oh, I’m all about “Shit My Dad” says. Why? William Shatner. That guy is awesome.

Paul: Dan, this show is like those daytime commericials where the dad is clueless and the mom comes in smiling to save the day. Not only are young people programmed to be idiots by “Survivor” and “Big Brother,” it’s now OK for dad to be a nitwit, too.

Dan: Not every dad can be Red from “That '70s Show.”

Paul: So, we’re not even going to talk about “My Generation”?

Dan: I’m not going to watch a show about a bunch of Gen-Nexters who graduated in 2000 whine about their life in 2010? I don’t want to hear about “quarter-life crisis” and this other nonsense. Life isn’t what mommy and daddy said it was going to be like when they were driving me in the SUV to soccer and dance practice. Wah. Move on

Paul: So we’re on Friday. “School Pride.” There’s no description for the show. I feel like that’s a bad sign.

Dan: Yeah, forget it.

Paul: There’s “Body of Proof.”

Dan: It’s got Dana Delany and Jeri Ryan. I’ll watch in hopes they make out, even though the show hasn’t even officially been scheduled, a major bad sign.

Paul: So, here we are. The end of the network schedule. I predict about 85 to 90 percent of the shows we've discussed won't last the season. None of them bowl me over.

Dan: And most of them sound like rehashed stuff that I've watched most of my life in one form or another. However, there is this show: “The Walking Dead,” which hits Oct. 31 on AMC.

Paul: “The Walking Dead” got high marks in screenings at ComicCon. Alan Sepinwall commented about it. It looks stylish. The other non-network show that looks interesting is “Terriers.”

Dan: Is that about angry dogs?

Paul: It is about the Westminster dog show. It can’t miss. Two paws up.