New House (FOX, 7pm – 8:01pm)
New How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 7pm)
New Good Eats (Food Network, 7pm and 2am)
New Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
New Lie to Me (FOX, 8:01pm)
New The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8:30pm)
New Castle (ABC, 9:02pm)

Primetime Grid

Primetime

A teenage girl is brought to the hospital “with severely swollen appendages” and Wilson and Cuddy go to a medical conference (and House insists on tagging along) on a new House (FOX, 7pm – 8:01pm). I’m sure the medical conferene will prove interesting for those three characters. DVR/VCR Alert: The show is set to run a minute long.

Barney and Robin’s relationship hits a rough patch and the rest of the gang decides to break them up for their own good because they’re so miserable or something like that on How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 7pm). Alan Thicke guest stars.

Alton Brown enthuses on the “wonders of the Japanese pantry” in a new “Pantry Raid” episode of Good Eats (Food Network, 7pm and 2am).

Claire learns the truth behind the attacks, Peter’s new ability is a perfect fit for his job, and Sylar continues to be Sylar on Heroes (NBC, 7pm).

New episodes of Little People, Big World (TLC, 7pm, 7:30pm).

New Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 7pm – 9:02pm) runs at least two minutes long.

Season finale of Lincoln Heights (ABC Family, 7pm and 11pm; also next Monday at 6pm). Back to back new episodes comprise the season finale. In the first episode, Nate struggles upon returning home from Afghanistan and Lizzie stars in her school play; in the second episode, someone gets engaged and someone solves a crime, and someone else has PTSD.

Billie unintentionally causes a breakup when she asks a couple to be godparents on Accidently on Purpose (CBS, 7:30pm). And Michael Rapaport guest stars as a sports reporter who asks Billie out.

The FBI hires the Lightman group to find out who leaked the location of a witness in protective custody, they also need to protect Agent Reynolds who ends up being a key witness in the case on Lie To Me (FOX, 8:01pm).

Jenny conspires to be the “ultimate queen bee” (as in Queen of all of the Upper East Side), Nate and Chuck plot to bring Serena and Blair back together, and Dan is upset when Olivia considers leaving school on Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm).

Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with “a strange woman” on Two and a Half Men (CBS, 8pm). Eek!

Glenn’s attempt to follow his heart puts his career and life in jeopardy, Marisa gets a surprise visit from an old friend, and Rabbit helps a patient deal with loss on Trauma (NBC, 8pm).

Cases involve an infant who stopped breathing and a husband who is found unresponsive on a new Dr. G: Medical Examiner (Discovery Health Channel, 8pm and midnight).

New Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 8pm and 11pm).

Sheldon tries to play peacemaker when Leonard and Penny fight on The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8:30pm). Oh-oh.

New episode of Yard Crashers (DIY, 8:30pm and 12:30am).

Castle and Beckett investigate the hit-and-run death of a bike messenger on Castle (ABC, 9:02pm). Could his death have been caused to prevent a delivery of a package? Of course it could.

Crossover Alert! A severed leg is found in the Everglades and it turns out it belongs to a girl who went missing in Las Vegas on CSI: Miami (CBS, 9pm). Yes, this is part one of a three-part CSI crossover which will involve all three shows this week. Laurence Fishburne guest stars as Dr. Ray Langston (the character he plays on CSI) in this episode.

Dane Cook, Diablo Cody on The Jay Leno Show (NBC, 9pm).

Philadelphia police raid a house and uncover a massive dog-fighting operation on a new Animal Cops Philadelphia (Animal Planet, 9pm, midnight, 4am).

New episodes of Rita Rocks (Lifetime, 9pm, 9:30pm).

New Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Food Network, 9pm).

New Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm).

New Garage Mahal (DIY, 9:30pm).

Late Night

Sen. Christopher Bond on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 10pm and midnight).

Thomas Campbell on The Colbert Report (Comedy Central, 10:30pm and 12:30am).

Bill Murray, Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe on The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS, 10:35pm).

Kelsey Grammer, Major Brian Dennis and his Iraqi dog of war Nubs, David Gray on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien (NBC, 10:35pm).

Carla Gugino, Dennis Lehane on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS, 11:37pm).

Laurence Fishburne, Elmo & Rosita on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:37pm).

Emmanuelle Chriqui, Yo La Tengo on a rerun of Last Call with Carson Daly (NBC, check your local listings).

Jamie Foxx, Toby Keith on a rerun of Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC, check your local listings).