There is also the change of the weather that I am so excited for.  For our family, this is our last year here in Jacksonville and that means the beginning of many changes.  First off, we are starting all that needs to be done to sell our home.

We have had our family garden here and made the big step of filling it in this weekend.  My husband dug all the remaining plants and weeds up and filled it in with sod.  All those memories, work and so much more…have been covered up and only saved in pictures and memories.

Here are a few other changes and transitions that are going on in the life of this Mother;

-  Two kids in school and only one at home….huge change!!

-  Soccer schedules and evenings spent at the soccer field with kids.

- Saturdays full of soccer games.

-  Packing early morning lunches and having time to exercise again.

-  Making a schedule so I am sure to use my time wisely and enjoy every minute I have here at home with my baby.

-  Menu planning so we can have dinner between soccer practices and activities and try to keep it family time.

I love change and that is always the one thing in life that is CONSTANT!  I am ready for this change of schedule, change of pace and all the fun memories and experiences it will bring.

What are some of the changes that have come for you with the start of school?

I wish I could wave a magic wand and create time for my tween to relax, to have less homework, to be less of a perfectionist and to cut herself some slack.  Our tweens are under academic, social, emotional and athletic pressure.  I think I have it bad, but I’m not sitting at a desk for 7 1/2 hours a day and then coming home to another hour and then needing to sleep to repeat it again.  My tween needs down time, play time, creative time social time and learning to build that into her routine can be challenging.

When I think I have it hard or that I’m worn down, I quickly realize it is nothing in comparison to the pressures that our children are facing.  As a parent I am constantly evaluating and re-evaluating to make sure I’m not pushing, expecting or “forcing” my tween to be more scheduled than she can handle.  With the start of school I am reminded with the schedules sent out and the new grading methods of fourth grade how stressful it could appear to a tween.

Participating in activities that release energy, are enjoyable and are fun are all beneficial to relieving high stress levels.  Communication is essential.  Evaluation and Reality is important to.  Listening is essential when trying to decide what to participate in or not.

How do you help your child find balance in their schedules?  How do you teach your tween how to relieve stress in a positive and healthy manor?

I spend a good part of my day “reminding” the boys to take any food garbage items to the kitchen when they are done. It seems no matter how many times I tell them, I still find a straw wrapper on the floor or a fruit snack bag on the couch. I suppose I should require them to eat and drink in the kitchen, but the truth is, that would be harder on me than them. It would just be one more thing I would need to remember to enforce. Anyway…as they get older aren’t they supposed to be more responsible!? (Oh wait…..my husband is 36 and I don’t think he has gotten the clean up memo yet )

I clean their rooms, wash their clothes, make sure they bath and brush…I just feel like there should be a point where they can at least clean up their own wrappers. I am still not sure what angle I will take with this……something has to change or I may lose my mind Suggestions??

I was a home school Mom this past year.  Sending my tween back to school was a big deal.  He high fived me on the way out the door and there was no looking back.  I absolutely adore his teacher…she works these kids hard and I love that!!

I love every minute of being with my tween, but I also noticed that my stress level has decreased quite a bit.  I can actually think straight and even more, accomplish a few more things in a day.

I have been teaching my tween for a year now and every spare moment of my day was dedicated to school.  I feel like I need to re-invent myself in a way.  All those things that slipped through the cracks this past year can be patched up.  I even made a little cleaning schedule for myself to keep up on my home work.

The old days of scheduling school, have been replaced by getting the kids to and from school, getting some exercise and keeping up on the home and duties of Motherhood.

I still have one little one left at home and we have had fun together.  I have so much time to dedicate to her, read to her, play with her and laugh with her.  Heck, I’m even having play group in my backyard this week…..crazy!!

Although I miss the days of schooling my tween, I have learned what works for me and what doesn’t.  I have learned how I function best in being the Mom that I want to be.

Here is to a new year and lots of new experiences and adventures…wish me luck!!

Reminder to self: One day at a time and anything can go or be given up.  We all have “game faces.”  You know the face we put on to convince those who don’t know us that well that we are OK.  It’s not always a sport related game face.  Sometimes it’s situational and we put on a persona for different roles we assume or for different people.  The ironic thing is that my tween has figured me out.    Not only has she figured it out, she has game faces too.  Now, it’s up to me to watch and discern my tween’s game face.

In this week’s schedule I know that I will have different game faces on.  Sometimes as coach, friend, mom, wife, neurotic mother of a kindergartner, volunteer, etc.  Why?  I have often wondered why we spend more effort trying to conceal our true emotions.  As a mother I have discovered that I tend to observe more and keep quiet.  Perhaps because of personal experiences.  Or perhaps and what I concluded was, that it is safer.  It is safer to be guarded and protect yourself emotionally.

Technically, as Wikipedia states, “the Game Face is an essential tactic in any competitive event. It describes any facial expression that conceals emotion.  Another common method is the “Poker Face.” This approach requires an absolute lack of facial expression. Often this technique is more difficult to master.”

Random blog I know, but I have been thinking about sports alot and learning a lot more about soccer and prepping for football season and my brain wandered over to the game face concept.  Anywho, we all have them, including our tweens.

What situations do you find yourself using game faces in?  Sports, Socially, or at work?

One of our earlier trips this summer to DC

Jake has been wanting to take his dad to see Medieval Times for awhile now. I took both boys during the last deployment and ever since Jake has been asking for a return visit. Sam and I weren’t so keen on round two of the show, but Sam is never one to turn down a trip to Build a Bear. With our respective “dates” in mind, we set off for lunch in Wilmington and that was all we told the boys…..just lunch then home.

They really thought they were on their way home until we were about five minutes from Broadway at The Beach. I am pretty sure Sam got out of the car and thought he was in Jacksonville It was a fun way to end our summer and even getting home at 11PM was OK. We had time as a family and everyone got to do something they enjoy. We’ll have to make those memories last a couple of months now. School, football, tennis…….back to reality and back to work.

Did you take any last trips before school started? Have you ever surprised your kids with a getaway?

I certainly do…I thought it was fun.  It was hard work, but there was such a sense of accomplishment that came from seeing those lawn mower lines.

My tween is now 7 1/2 and just mowed the lawn for the first time.  My husband does most of the outside work, so I never even thought about letting Lincoln give it a try.  I was inside making dinner and stepped outside to check on things…this is what I saw.  My tween, cutting the grass for the first time.  It shocked me a little to think that he was old enough for that responsibility.  Man, he has grown up so fast.

Sometimes, as I drive around, I see teenagers cutting the lawn and listening to their ipods.  It makes me so happy to see that…!  I think it is important for kids to pull their weight in the home.  I have slacked in this area lately and it is something I am working on doing a better job with my kiddos.

Now my tween is officially old enough to cut the lawn…is it also time to step up his responsibilities a little bit more?  Should I start teaching him to do his own laundry and be responsible for making dinner for the family?  Maybe I should…!!  As a parent, we want to raise independent children who can function on their own in society as responsible adults.

Maybe the time has come…today he is cutting the lawn and tomorrow…he will be heading off to college (kidding)…..they just grow up to darn fast!!!

What are some of the chores you have your tween doing?

I knew I did not need anything fancy…used would do just fine. With that in mind, I posted on LeJeune Yard Sales. I said I was looking for a used coat rack and I would pay $15 for one. I was prepared to shell out the money and I was hopeful someone out there was looking to get rid of one. To my surprise, I got a reply that day and as an even bigger surprise…the gentleman who replied wanted to make me one…for FREE!

I told him I could not accept it for free, but he was clear that he wanted to do this for me. He stated that he liked to help the community, he had a wood shop and he made things for sale all the time. After a little more back and forth (and me pleading to pay), the rack was made and I picked it up this past weekend.

I felt guilty as I pulled away from his house with my free, handmade coat rack, but I really think he just wanted to help. I think he understands how hard teachers work and he saw a small way he could contribute to one classroom. Needless to say, I took a stack of his business cards and will tell everyone to contact him if they need anything made. I also made sure to explain all of this to Jake and Sam. I hope one day, they will see a similar opportunity to help someone and they will jump at the chance.

Have you ever had someone you don’t know reach out to help you? How did it make you feel?

Here a few personal reflections on how I try to seek balance while avoiding complete Burnout….

1. Prioritize.  Evaluate where you spend a lot of time.  Is this working?  If not, change.  A wise man once said, ”As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all.”

2. Be Realistic.  We all know what triggers stress in our self, children and families.  So, listen.  If it is too much for Mom, it is probably too much for the children.

3.  Be honest.  Know your limitations and express them.  There is no harm in telling someone “No” or, “I can’t”  Ultimately, family comes first.

4.  Communicate.  Communication is key not only with your spouse, children, but as a family.  We have tried both ways…trying to do it all and learning that we have to limit each child to one activity so that none of us are over-scheduled.

5.  Be creative.  I have learned that things that bring me great joy can be combined with already scheduled activities.  If I’m already at my son’s soccer practice and they need volunteers, why not volunteer.  I’m teaching my other children to serve, building memories, and teaching my children about the value of creatively using time.

I loved this article written in a medical journal about over-scheduled children.  I think we can also apply it to parents.  It reminds us all to re-evaluate our good intentions and to slow down.  Schedule time to do nothing.  Schedule Pajama days.  Explore and create.

Do you feel over-scheduled as a mother and what do you do to avoid it?

• Keep your child home if he has a heavy cough accompanied by a steady stream of mucus.
• Keep your child home if he has an unexplained rash, which may be the first symptom of measles or chickenpox.
• Keep your child home from school if stomach pain is accompanied by diarrhea or fever.
• A child who is vomiting should be kept home.
• A fever of 100 degrees or less is generally not cause for concern. If a fever above 100 is combined with a sore throat or a rash, the child should be kept home because this could indicate a more serious illness.
• Learn the rules of your child’s school about when a sick child must stay at home.