Instead of saying goodbye to your favorite TweenBeat authors, you can say hello to them, and four other new bloggers, on JustKiddin, our new blog for moms of elementary schoolers. You’ll find a great new look and more of the exciting conversation you’ve come to love.

You can also say hello to two new bloggers – and the same great new look – on Middleville, a blog for moms of middle schoolers. We all know there’s never a dull moment when middle schoolers are involved!

Thank you very much for you readership here at TweenBeat; we hope you will continue to visit us on the two new blogs!

Best,

Theckla

Lacrosse Clinic Last Fall

I should have known from that first night he put on his lacrosse gear. If I could have taped him strutting back to the car in his helmet and pads you would know what I mean. He just acted different. There was a swagger to his walk like “look at me, I am a lacrosse player.” Last year it was more like ” Wow…I get to hold a stick!” He may only be 8, but he practices with kids ages 8-10 and I think he his stepping up his game. I can see an athlete now where they used to just be a kid running around on the field.

It really hit me after his practice this week. He came back to the car to head home and when I helped him pull his helmet off he was a sweaty mess! I had never seen him like that before after any practice. His response also told me things were no longer the same…..”what mom, I was running…the other kids are like that too.” Funny how moms notice little things like this and they become big moments. I will forever remember that time, by the back of the car, as one of the moments when I realized he is not a little boy anymore.

When did you have a moment like that?

I wanted to take a moment and let you know about some big changes we will be making to MomTalk to improve the overall experience for you.

This Tuesday, March 8, we will unveil a new look for all of our blogs. The new design has several exciting features, including:

• Author spotlights
• Improved search
• Improved navigation
• Monthly themes
• More health information you can use
• Shorter posts on the homepage, meaning visibility to more posts on one page

We will also be introducing two new blogs: JustKiddin’, a blog for moms of elementary schoolers, and Middleville, a blog for moms of middle schoolers. Debuting Tuesday, these two blogs replace TweenBeat, which as you know currently spans both school age ranges. We hope that each blog will better align with your children’s educational experiences and be more relevant for parents in these different stages. Not to worry – your favorite TweenBeat bloggers will still be here, they’ll just be blogging for JustKiddin’ instead. Look for them Tuesday!

Additionally, we will be extending TummyTime to cover pregnancy through the first year. We hope this will help moms who are expecting share experiences, conversation and dialogue with moms who are going through the first year of baby’s life. This change means CuddleBugs will focus exclusively on Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers.

Later in the week we will be unveiling a new look for MomTalk. The updates will place more emphasis on groups, as well as the forums & discussion threads. By focusing the experience on the conversations happening between moms, we hope MomTalk will become a better place for moms in the area to connect, share and discuss.

Please note that in order to bring you the changes each of the blogs will be down for an hour or two starting late Monday afternoon and into Monday evening. We apologize in advance for this disruption, but hope that when you return to the blogs on Tuesday morning you will be as excited about the changes as we are.

If you have any questions or comments about the changes, please feel free to email us.

Enjoy the weekend!
Theckla & the entire MomTalk team

Why has frenemy, arch nemesis and bully become accepted behavior and commonly accepted words?  Should our kids really have to “toughen” up?  Do we really have to tell our kids, “Don’t let it get to you.”  Is this healthy?  NO!  Every person should be able to feel safe and good about themselves.  Bullying does not have to be accepted as “normal” in growing up.  Does it exist?  Yes.  Is it commonplace?  Perhaps.  What exactly is bullying?

PBS television station wrote the following about the subject:

“Physical bullying means:

• Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone…or even just threatening to do it
• Stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things
• Making someone do things he or she don’t want to do

Verbal bullying means:

• Name-calling
• Teasing
• Insulting

Relationship bullying means:

• Refusing to talk to someone
• Spreading lies or rumors about someone
• Making someone do things he or she doesn’t want to do

What do all these things have in common? They’re examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that’s bullying.

The reason why one kid would want to bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they’re better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It’s a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.”

Who are bullies?  It can be “friends”, family, classmates, teammates, “the kid who has it all,” taller, shorter, etc.  They all have this in common:  they are people who someone else or something is making them feel inferior so they are picking on someone else to feel important or validated.

How do you deal with bullies?  What do you teach your children about bullies?  Ideas?

Great coaches care and understand they are working with kids..not adults.

I applaud those who coach, just as I applaud anyone who teaches. For the most part they have had volunteer coaches on base or out in town. The coaches give up their time to help my child learn some new skills and have fun while they do it. Each time the boys have tried something new, they have jumped in knowing nothing. They have often played with kids who have played before and that could go one of two ways. They could feel so far behind and overwhelmed that they never want to try again or they can feel secure, safe and supported and given time to develop on their own time table. Thankfully the latter has been the case each time and they have had a blast trying new sports.

With tennis ramping up, the boys will get some time with their favorite coach and Jake is thriving on the lacrosse field. It is so fun to watch them have fun and get better each week. I wish every child had experiences like this on the court or field…..sports should be fun at this age. After all, if they don’t have fun now and learn the fundamentals, how will they ever make it to the Horseshoe at Ohio State on Saturdays??

GO BUCKEYES!

Have you had great coaches? Any bad ones in the bunch?

Dilemma…my husband and I both think this is a fabulous opportunity for her.  Not only for skills, friendships, teamwork, but for self esteem. The program in not just about running.  It is goal oriented.  It is work oriented.  It is people oriented.  It is self awareness oriented and it is about a can do attitude. I often have found myself telling my kids that “can’t” isn’t in their vocabulary, that I think they can.  However, it is mind over body sometimes.  Just like the Little Engine that could.

From their website, they state this about their program:  “Girls on the Run® is a 501(c)3 positive youth development program which combines an interactive curriculum and running to inspire self-respect and healthy lifestyles in pre-teen girls. Our core curriculum addresses many aspects of girls’ development – their physical, emotional, mental and social well-being. Lessons provide girls with the tools to make positive decisions and to avoid risky adolescent behaviors.”
Vision

• To provide life-changing, high quality programs for girls
• To provide life-changing and high quality experiences to the women developing and delivering the programs
• To promote and provide an environment that allows girls and women to reach their full potential
• To positively transform how girls and women perceive themselves and their place in society

Editor’s note: Onslow is a proud community partner of Girls on the Run and recently sponsored one of the 5K events. For more information about GOTR, visit their website.

Is this program being offered at other local schools?  What do you think?  For it or against it?

Which way will we go??

From some previous posts (like this one) you may know that we are in limbo at the moment. My husband’s career could go a couple of different ways and this means we are not sure what our plans are for this summer. We could move to another state, stay put one more year or move overseas (new option I learned of this past week! ). With so much up in the air I sometimes wonder how much the boys really need to know at this point. Do they need to be in the loop or should we just fill them in when we have a firm decision?

It was so much easier when they were little. We moved and they could have cared less! By the time Jake was 4 he had already lived in three states and four houses. It made no difference to them where were were or how often we moved. As long as they had mom with them (and dad when he was stateside), things were OK and stable in their eyes. Now it is different. They are school age and no matter where we go, they will make a big transition to a new school next fall. I know how stressed out I am about all of this and I just feel like maybe keeping them in the dark another month or two won’t hurt.

The truth is, they don’t have a say in what happens so I suppose they might as well just be told the final course of action. I am not even sure they could wrap their heads around all of our options and choices at this point. My biggest concern is that I keep my cool and don’t become too stressed around them at this point. They know daddy has an interview this week and that is about it. I think I’ll keep it that way for now.

Did you ever keep things like this from your kids to lessen their stress?

As I polled other parents I got a variety of answers to how they make traditions and compensate for this monumental occasion.  Let’s face it, we all remember how hard our kids worked to “cut” their first teeth.  We all know the pain of teeth.  We should be compensated, right?!  I realized my son was more “wowed” by the letter he received from the tooth fairy than the money left.  I chuckle because my daughter was 8 when she stated she’d rather keep her teeth than get mom’s, I mean the tooth fairy’s, pocket change.  She was definitely not “wowed” by the letter or the money.  I for one don’t want to start an outrageous tradition and have always written a letter saying the first tooth is a big deal as it marks the day as “growing” out of their baby days and into adulthood.  However, all subsequent teeth will not be compensated the same!:)

Where did this crazy custom begin?  In early Europe it was a tradition to bury baby teeth that fell out. The tradition is still very much alive and well in Ireland and Great Britain, where it is common for young children to believe in the Tooth Fairy. When a child’s sixth tooth falls out, it is customary for the tooth fairy to slip a gift or money under the child’s pillow, but to leave the tooth as a reward for the child growing strong.

Rosemary Wells, a former professor at the Northwestern University Dental School, found evidence that supports the origin of different tooth fairies in the United States around 1900. Folklorist Tad Tuleja suggests postwar affluence, a child-directed family culture, and media turned the myth into a custom.

What do you do to celebrate this custom?  What is your going rate and how was it influenced?  Just curious.

I am not sure what I expected. There was no age I had in mind..no time table. I just told myself  that at some point, they would be more mature and the antics would end. Clearly, I was delusional Of course, the problems and behaviors change as they get older. Jake cleans up now without complaining, but he has moved on to arguing with me for more XBox time. Sam’s food issues still come up,but not as often. Now he seems to like arguing more with Jake.

Round and round we seem to go…we lose one quirk and pick up another. I am slowly coming to the realization that no matter what age the boys are….I will have to continue to be their teacher and mom and help them work through these things. After all, would I really be a mom if I did not have to get on them to get their clothes IN the hamper (not next to it) or remind them for the 15th time that lights need to be turned off when they leave a room?

What about your Tweens? Do you find yourself dealing with one thing after another?

I recently read an article that stated 60% of American children don’t get enough sleep.  Another study cited cellphones, Facebook, and video games were to blame.  Our elementary age children need 9-12 hours of sleep.  Experts say that sleep deprivation at any age can impair metabolism, immune functions, and motor skills, increase stress hormones, and cripple sugar metabolism.

So, maybe my lack of sleep accounts for my few extra pounds, poor health, high stress level and slow responses.  To think I attributed that to my age and motherhood.     I guess the answer is simple….my family all needs more sleep.  Sleep is important and I need to ensure we have good sleep habits, cause if “momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

Signs of sleep deprivation:

* Can’t fall asleep within 15-20 minutes of going to bed

* Has a hard time waking in the morning

* Has trouble remaining alert and active during the daytime

Establishing good sleep habits is imperative for the healthy development of children. The National Heart, Lung, Blood Institute offers the following tips for parents to help get their kids to bed:

• Set a regular time for bed each night and stick to it.
• Establish a relaxing bedtime routine, such as giving your child a warm bath or reading him or her a story.
• Avoid giving children a big meal close to bedtime, and no caffeine within six hours of sleep.
• Make after-dinner playtime relaxing; too much exercise close to bedtime can keep children awake.
• Keep the noise level down and the bedroom dark. If some light is necessary, use a small nightlight.

Do you get enough sleep your body needs?  How about your children?  Any tips to get higher rate sleep?