Our Twinship

Time to End…..

2012-09-24T17:21:00.001+01:00

Until today I never thought I would reach the stage of drawing the curtains on my entries into this blog. I want to thank those who were patient with me when it seemed my grief would never end. Those who accepted my uniqueness as a twin, even when it defied understanding, the many that did not perceive my travails as an indulgence.

It was your sensitive understanding of my plight and my very painful circumstances that has brought me to this place. A place of hope, a place where the memory of my twin will never die, a place where I can begin to compile my blog into a book that will bless and help many others. I am even grateful for those through rebuke urged me to move 'forward', that itself played its part.

You have all enabled me to build a fitting memorial to my twin's memory and I will never forget you. Folashade is smiling right now and so she should.

My situation and life is transformed forever, there will always be a big space for my twin, but now is the time to proceed to a different level….

Heaven has gained another Saint..

2012-09-09T07:56:00.001+01:00

I have been in the know for over a few months that the very best of the doctors in Canada had given up on my friend. That the only recourse we had was prayer of the fervent nature. However, God had better ideas and took my friend, my twin sister's chief bridesmaid and best mate to heaven. I am unable to reveal her name at this stage in order to allow the family share the news in their own time and the most apt way.

I have kept wondering why my friend and my twin, so inseparable at university and law school suffered from the same affliction two years apart. I wondered with a friend yesterday, was it the water, the mobile gas cooker the used in Moza? They started university together, read the same course, repeated a year together and graduated from law school together. The mind is in a whirl...

Your smile, your elegance, your considered speech, all these combined to make you the unique person you were. Your pedigree was never in question, yet you did not carry yourself with boastfulness but rather with the humility of a saint. You made a deep impression on my twin, you were always a point of reference to her and now you are reunited together.

My brother-in-law, 'Shade's husband, whom I confided in, broke the news that our friend had departed and gone to heaven. What is certain, what is sure, is that she is now reunited in heaven with my dearest Folashade. You like my twin sister will be sorely missed, Adieu, till we meet again...

The Olympics...

2012-08-05T16:14:00.000+01:00

The Olympics Park is absolutely beautiful, I strayed into it when I found myself driving past it last Wednesday. Even with the trepidation at finding myself driving in London I still found time to appreciate the beauty of the Park.

I was driving my mother, nieces (twin's daughters) and my daughter back to Kent to continue their holidays. My nieces had spent two weeks with us and it was a joy to bond with them and make more of a connection. Anytime they are around me I feel closer to my twin.

Yesterday whilst I was relaxing with my wife, watching the Olympics on television, my cousin sent some treasure trove of pictures. I want to share one or two of them with you. I hope it will provide a little understanding what its like to be a twin.

I spoke to a close friends recently about how my twin's passing away had transformed me. She could not appreciate it and offered no empathy, as far as she was concerned I could not have been one with my twin because I was not married to her. I mentioned the uniqueness of our birth and the emotionally connection that brings, but she left me with little understanding. It reinforce my thoughts that the only ones who can understand what a twin goes through are twins themselves.

Olu and Folashade at age 4 in London.

Olu, Folashade and Adebowale with cousins and friends in 1974 aged 8.

All Fun and Games….

2012-07-22T13:32:00.004+01:00

My nieces, my twin's two daughters are with us on holiday. It has been good to hear them reminisce about their mother without the hint of pain which they must surely feel.

Today as we were returning from the church service they talked freely about who was my twin's favourite. I am happy that children cope better with grief than we adults for it would have been unbearable to cope with theirs as well as mine.

I have learnt so many things from my nieces about my twin and sometimes I feel a tinge of guilt. Guilt that my living in England, thousands of miles away robbed me of valuable and quality time with Folashade.

I was struck by what one of my nieces said, In her opinion because I was her mother's twin she feels that anything she could ask from her mother she can ask of me as her mother's twin. She went on tho say we were one and the same thing. That is the best thing I have heard since my twin passed on, I can now accept it for it brought an overwhelming joy to my heart, a smile and confidence to face the future.

What is evident now is that my twin's memory soldiers on and that she will never die.

My Aches and Pains..

2012-07-03T08:34:00.000+01:00

The aches and pains I have felt since Friday have been of an excruciating kind, the kind that interrupts several nights' rest.

The Monday morning emerged with me facing minimal appetite for work, after a struggle with some tasks, I signed off for the day and proceeded to the dentist. I am grateful that today I am receiving treatment from the dentist to address the aches my gum has caused.

When I look back however, I feel and know, I will have exchanged this ache and pain for my twin to be around, alive and kicking. The gap is still too huge, the pain so raw and on a daily basis it constantly pokes me in the face. It remains so unreal, yet so real.

The only redemption of that ache and pain, is not the dentist or doctor but living my life fully for Christ. That is what I seek and intend to do and doing that means excelling in everything that God has committed into my hands and not staying on the margins or sidelines of issues.

The Prize...

2012-06-30T15:28:00.001+01:00

One my Facebook page a few days ago I mimicked the popular Nigerian Pentecostal chorus routinely sang in various circles, 'double, double every time na double, double…' by saying travel, 'travel…every time na travel, travel…'This is in reference to my constant travelling, finding myself in various UK cites by the day and week.

I am glad my journeys are not fruitless or needless but are all in the pursuit of transforming lives. Many atimes I feel unworthy of such a high calling but here I am and I am determined to make a difference. However, we need so much in terms of financial support to continue to make this a reality. You may wish to contact me for more details or visit www.friendsinternational.org.uk

I also continue the travel on my journey through grief, I read a book last week titled 'Surprised by grief', a powerful account of a widow bereft by the loss of her husband and thrown into whirlpool of helplessness, hurt and bitterness. Eventually after the loss of her job and re-creation of her identity was able to move on and find her worth in Christ. Whilst our stories are similar in many respects it does differ in one crucial aspect.

My difficulty, however, is that unlike a wife, husband or even any other sibling, moving on for twins is much more complicated. Twinship is part of what and who we are and so loss of one does not simply create the space nor opportunity to move on. However, as believers we are challenged to focus on the eternal hope to come, that so certain and also so inevitable.

Today we celebrate Tomife, my twin's 2nd daughter who won a price at school, Folashade will have been so proud of her. That is the way to go girl!

My mother with 'Tomife..

A Place Called Hope...

2012-06-04T10:54:00.001+01:00

In the darkest days of my grief after my twin sister passed away, I would have contemplated ending it all but for the word called 'hope'. 'Hope' for the future, encapsulated in my children, my wife, my nephews and nieces. Without 'hope' I do not know where I will be today, for I would have despaired of life.

Today in Nigeria we are reminded about the unmissable reality of death and the inescapable fact that it will come our way sometime in the far future. This does not make it easier to accept for no one is ever prepared for it. No one knows for sure what it might bring, it remains the great barrier beyond but we 'hope' and yes we believe that it is for us Christians, a place of rest.

Yesterday, 150 souls were lost in a plane crash, they started their Sunday full of 'hope' and plans and by noon it had become a smouldering and twisted wreck. Their lives had turned to dust, heavens had opened to receive their souls and their relatives were left bereft.

I spoke to my wife's brother-in-law today, he had experienced loss and I asked him what could I say to make things better. I doubt if there is anything but at least I can say I still believe in a word called 'hope' for that is where I come from and where I am going to, the heavenly hope!

Golden Jubilee...

2012-06-03T21:50:00.001+01:00

What can say today on a day of all days? I must confess I am caught up in the excitement of the Queen's Golden Jubilee. I confess that I am a royalist, I love my Queen and I am inexplicable drawn to her. This is also the eve of my daughter's birthday, she becomes an adult tomorrow! I simply cannot believes it! It is always at times like this I miss my twin Folashade!

We celebrated and remembered the 40th anniversary of my father's death on the 18th of May, there was a build up to the day. I wrote an academic paper, awaiting publication and I was determined to celebrate his achievements. I visited his old office at the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs and used Facebook to tell his story. At the Institute I was in search of old photographs only to discover I had more than the Institute had. I was also able to meet with the current Director-General who was pleased to see me.

I enjoyed our University of Lagos Staff School Reunion in Nigeria, I spoke extempore about how reserved I was at school, and told them that when I got to secondary school (King's College, Lagos) I found Jesus and found my voice.

And at work, times are very interesting and I am relishing the opportunity to make my mark, fulfilling the potential I feel I have knowing that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank you Folashade for all you have been to me!

Reviewing the book: 'Crushing The Devil'

2012-05-28T17:49:00.002+01:00

It has been a while, life has been busy, but i shall resume my blog in due course. In the mean time I wanted to share two book reviews with you.

'Crushing The Devil' by Pedro Okoro:

Review of ‘Crushing the Devil’ written by Pedro Okoro

This book makes compelling reading and deploys an arsenal of devices to arrest the reader’s attention. One is presented with a combination of narratives, the prophetic, poems, logic and choruses.

It begins with the irrefutable logic of life, raises questions like a skilled attorney, mastering the facts and allowing the reader to reach his or her own conclusions.

It is extensive in the issues that it raises and uses the effective technique at the end of each chapter of referring to ‘Food for Reflection’, ‘Prayer Features’ and ‘Action Points’. It is this that allows the book to function as a manual for victory.

The use of Scriptures and its application to real life battles whilst not systematic is very balanced and takes you on a journey of life which if followed leads you to ultimate victory.

The narration from chapter to chapter flows through the book with ease and the author’s mastery of imagery is at its best. It is helped by the fact that he displays practical knowledge of aspects of the spiritual underworld and does not rely of the theoretical.

The book is an impressive work and is up there is the legion of literatures produced by Christian ministers, it is highly recommended to those who seek an insight into how the devil operates and desire complete victory over his devices.

A Review of 'Flaming Sword' written by Folayan Osekita:

This book covers a collection of themes, acts as a manual and a pathway to righteousness. It is robust in grappling with the most controversial of issues and refuses to spare any blushes.

It is a compelling and powerful book and should be read with an advisory; it is not for the faint hearted but for those who are prepared to be challenged.

It covers many of the prevailing trends within today’s Church and does not shy away from engaging with them and reflecting on them within the context and implications of scripture.

It dwells significantly on the theme of love and makes a useful exposition of it and its centrality to our relationship with God.

The book is easy to follow, covering a wide breath of issues, in doing so it seeks to be practical and yet uncompromising.

This work is unmistakably prophetic. In many ways it is a reflection of the huge personality of the author, firm but loving.

Both books may be obtained from Amazon.

President George Bush and my Father….

2012-05-03T16:27:00.000+01:00

I finally collected the re-mastered photograph of my father, Dr Olasupo Ojedokun and President George Bush taken in 1971 when he was the United States Ambassador to the United Nations. He paid a courtesy call on my father who was the Director-General of the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs at Victoria Island, Lagos. This is one of the few momenteos I have been able to salvage. Many were destroyed by termites because we left them unattended in our old house. It is 40 years now since my father passed on, and I hope to retrieve more pictures when I travel to Nigeria.

You may ponder and wonder what this has got to do with my twin. Well I grew up always imagining how I resembled my father never quite accepting that my twin was the one with the striking resemblance. In the face of overwhelming evidence from all our relatives, I convinced myself that as I grew older I would look more like him. But that was never to be, he died before he could go bald, and I have ended up bald. He was also much taller than me and darker just like my twin.

My twin was better at preserving my father's memory but now that she has gone, it is down to me and my younger brother Adebowale.

I am certainly more positive about my twin now, more accepting and I have discovered effective coping mechanisms with dealing with the loss of someone so close and so cherished.

You Are My Family…..

2012-04-22T13:49:00.002+01:00

Dear Kayode,

How are you and how is life.(sic) Happy new Year & a Prosperous '91, How was your xmas(sic) I hope it has was not too dry & cold for you?…..the wedding plans are going on as expected I just hope nothing flops…..Ade just bought a new car it is a 505 pegeuot ST.2.0…It is really nice. Debo's graduation is towards the end of January…..

That was an except from a letter my twin wrote to me on 3rd January 1991.

She ended it by referring to her records which she sent to me:

…please take good care of them they are my life records,….

I spent the greater part of today searching for this letter, I am so glad I found it! The letter reveals the kind of person my twin was. Organised, factual, caring and above all very special. She was not to know in 1991 that by 2010 she would be gone and her life would be firmly in the Father's hands. She dwelt on my welfare, moved on to the organisation of her wedding plans and celebrated the good fortune of her husband to be, Ade before proceeding to emphasis the obvious about her records.

I say many times that I miss my twin, but I go on about it, because she always organised us and she knew instinctively the solutions to many a complex problem. I miss her today as my brother and myself are trying to resolve some issues around the family.

I am focused now on thinking how to mark the 40th anniversary of my father, a man who was also cut short in his prime, when he was the (ag.)Director-General of the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs on 18th May 1972.

I shall take the rest of today very easy after a most hectic week of travels and attendance at a wedding yesterday. Here are some pictures to brighten your day and give you hope of a better tomorrow.

I have learnt that all those who urge me on and encourage me are all my family and I thank you for being there!

A Blast of Tears...

2012-04-18T19:56:00.000+01:00

I have just returned from the gym and discovered that after a day of overnight travel I have put on a kilogramme. But that is not really the object of today's blog, it is more about intense feelings of grief I displayed whilst alone in the local gym car park.

I wailed and wailed, the last time I cried like that was when the remains of my twin was being laid to rest in the grave.

However, In the midst of the tears and wailings I wrote this, I do not know what to call it, but I am impressed to share it with you:

"You will always be my twin. I see a twin so lovely, so beautiful and so serene.

Oh my twin, Folashade, oh my dear and only sister.

Everyday you tried to be the best you could.

You will always be a hero to me. I wonder up in heaven whether they know what you achieved in your short sojourn in this world?

For you were a healer, the one who reconciled us all.

One day when I am old and the Father calls, I shall rejoin you
where you dwell and on that day God will be fully glorified.

Oh Shade, my own very dear twin, everyday, my thoughts dwell on you, for you will always be my hero!"

Thank you for reading my blog.

A Tear or Two…..

2012-04-15T14:28:00.000+01:00

I shed a tear or two at today's church service, memories of my twin just brought emotions of sadness to me. This usually happens when I listen or hear beautiful songs and dwell on the implications of the lyrics. As I write now I am welling up with tears, but not complete sadness but also of joy. Yes joy, because of where I believe she is.

We had Nia who came to minister at our church service, she really blessed me. I bought one of her CDs titled 'Memory Lane', it has seven beautiful tracks and mainly soul but with deeply meaningful lyrics.

Last week we lost our former headmistress (University of Lagos Staff School, Nigeria) Mrs Obafunmi Ajike Doherty. We had began to reminisce about her and how famously strict she was when we received the news through our class set. We came together yesterday through the internet and wrote her a beautiful tribute. One of the parts of the tributes I like most is:

When we survey, through the fog of the chastisement and discipline that was a feature of our time in school, we discover that we learnt from you a real lesson. The lesson that every generation has promise and that change comes in excruciating increments to those that want it. You taught us that we must be the change we wish to see in the world.

Now we must say adieu to you ma, not so much in sadness, which we feel, but in the overwhelming desire to ensure that your legacy continues to live on in our lives. That our celebration is your celebration, our achievement your achievement and your memories lives on in our lives. For with you, Mrs Doherty there is no such thing as an invisible legacy.

Adieu Mrs Doherty!

Smiling Twin!

2012-04-08T16:59:00.000+01:00

I am certain that Jesus Christ came into this world, died and rose again on the third day! That is the reason I live and the reason I hope. It is this that makes my twin loss ever so bearable.

What keeps me going is that 100% certainty of reunion at some point, without that hope I will be miserable and see life of no consequence.

My wife and I have spent today going to church and eating out in a restaurant, but this weekend has not been easy. Sometimes I ask the question about the point of life, then I am reminded of the reason for the season.

I was going through old pictures yesterday and I picked out a couple of my twin smiling at my wedding. In fact I posted one on this blog, it was hard going through the pictures. I miss Folashade everyday, she is never far from my thoughts but every thought of her drives me with inspiration to the unfinished business she left behind and how I must help ensure its completion.

I am so glad that my loss, though never minimised is helped by my real and living faith! Happy Easter everyone, may you find peace, one that never leaves you but comes with the confident assurance that God is preparing a place for you, your own real mansion!

The Promise of A Generation..

2012-04-04T20:47:00.001+01:00

The past few days have been something of a challenge, not in relation to my twin loss but to other matters of life. I think it is in hand now, so I am less worried about it. But suddenly it did make me realise that I had not felt the need to blog in recent times, showing, I guess how far I have come since the dark, dark days of my loneliness and grief.

I am looking forward to a quiet Easter period this year, in previous years I have filled it with some ministry activity or the other. It will be good to simply relax and reflect on the awesomeness of our Lord.

My nieces and nephews are in Nigeria at the moment with their father and my own mother, I should see them next month when I visit Nigeria for a reunion event. I am so looking forward to it. I am not so sure Folashade would have cared so much to be reunited to our primary school classmates but I am sure I would have dragged her along.

It will be good to celebrate the wonderful ladies and gentlemen who are doing a remarkable thing by coming together after so long. The reunion of University of Lagos Staff School,1977 set reminds me of a quote I used sometime ago in my newspaper column:

Every generation has promise but every generation fails that promise in some respect, how can we not for what is promise if it its something impossible to live up to? But failed promise only truly fails when it leads to lower expectations.

I have shared it with my old classmates as a challenge, challenge that we do not simply owambe and go and my prayer is that it does not simply become mere words. My friend, Toyin Adesola has just assured me saying:

I believe this reunion is just a beginning.

The Lone Twin Network Annual Meeting

2012-03-25T08:52:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was the annual meeting of the Lone Twin Network and I was fortunate enough that it was in Nottingham near where I live.

The previous night I really did not sleep, I am not sure whether it was anxiety or nerves, but the meeting was good. Yes there was the business and formal side which I cared less for but I certainly enjoyed supporting, sharing and speaking to people who understood how profound our lost is and how it continues to affect us.

How can a non twin understand the profundity of our loss? They simply expect us to move on, the concept of being together in the womb with another for 9 months and then experiencing loss is not something they can appreciate. Many equate it with the loss of a sibling or another relative, but from my experience, it is and cannot be equated.

I have learnt to arrive at a healthy accommodation for things I do not understand rather than impose my own perspective on a situation. In a similar vein I appeal to relatives, friends and colleagues out there who cannot comprehend the loss of a twin or its concept, to provide me and other twins they know the same level of accommodation they would wish for themselves. Simply saying move on or get over it about something you are unable to appreciate or understand is insensitive and unkind. You can, I suggest, better help me or your lone twin friend by learning more about what it is to be a lone twin.

I am in a much better place now, but profoundly affected on so many levels by my loss and I will never allow that to be dismissed so lightly.

I ended yesterday, by joining Lisa, David, Aavon, Julia, Lucy, Nancy and Patricia for a meal, and as always the bond was so strong and so re-assuring. Today, I wish to salute those who set up the Network and who organised yesterday's event, I thank you!

Happy Mother's Day!

2012-03-18T16:39:00.000+01:00

Folashade, today is not a day for too many words but to thank God for your life that you gave your all into mothering. You left four beautiful children, you laid a foundation for them and we can say that their future is bright. Yes you will continue to be missed but we know that you sleep well in the presence of the Lord and your work is complete.

I end today's blog by saying, Folashade, Feyisara, your elegance left an impression, your beauty a treasure, your fashion a memory, your presence a blessing!

The Pillar...

2012-03-08T10:00:00.002+01:00

The chorus, 'Master Jesus you are the pillar that holds my (her) life', was a song I kept on singing again and again as I stood by my twin's bed in the hospital, massaging her feet and willing her to get up and face the roller coaster of life. I heard the song today and brought back memories, but not sad ones, beautiful ones about how delightfully elegant my twin sister was.

I was able to share some of my recent experiences from my blog with work colleagues and speak to them about counting it all joy, when we face trails and diverse temptations. I urged them to care for themselves first, before others so that they might be effective in what they do. I hope at least one of them was impacted upon.

And yes! I was able to share with them a birthday cake, a lemon drizzled one, gorgeous in many respects, enticing in a decadent way. I confess I ate too much and this was reflected in the gym as I weighed myself yesterday.

I am off for the next few days for two board meetings, so will not see my family till Saturday, but its all in the name of good causes, so i shall live with that.

Now the chorus can be found on this long youtube video, please be patient its there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEn_P9haWQg&feature=share

A Dream..

2012-03-06T00:48:00.004+01:00

I really should be preparing for a devotion I am giving at a work's away day tomorrow but find myself compelled to write and share on our blog. It could be because of the encouragement I have received from Lindy or simply because of the experience I had yesterday.

I had clear and vivid dream about my grief for my sister, in the dream I held on to a relative crying hysterically that Folashade cannot go and pleaded that she should be brought back. After the high of the past few days, particularly feeling that I survived our birthday, this brought me back to earth and the reality of the roller coster that grief sometimes presents.

At a meeting of Nigerian Christians yesterday, I met a lady friend of mine who asked how my birthday went and why I bought no cake, when I mentioned the pain I still felt, she immediately grasped it and was extremely sympathetic, she understood. However, am not sure many really do, but our book which I am hoping to write will try to ensure that many more do.

There is, however, much to look forward to, on the 24th of March in Nottingham, there is the annual meeting of The Lone Twin Network, a group of twin survivors who do a fantastic job supporting and encouraging one another. It is is a free open space with an abundance of love, where no judgement is passed and no one imposes their own view of how and when grief should look like. They simply understand because they have been there and leave with the realities of loss every day. I have also received my indulgence which am rather enjoying, you may guess what it is.

I continue to acknowledge my loss, I deal with it in the best way I can and I keep on ensuring that my twin's memories lives on forever in our hearts.

Tomorrow Has Come

2012-03-03T09:54:00.002+01:00

Today is not too bad actually and yesterday, our birthday, was more bearable than I felt it would be. I felt my twin’s presence and that she was rejoicing in heaven. I also received so many, so very many kind wishes, and sweet messages from friends, relatives and acquaintances. They came flooding like the River Nile, through the post, the Facebook, emails, BlackBerry messenger and of course the telephones. It was overwhelming, so supportive and yet so soothing but I also still felt the need to splash out just to make me feel better. Now I must work hard over the next months to fund my extravaganza.

I started the day listening to this song on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=HE9tTqr5A0c by WHITNEY HOUSTON AND CECE WINANS-COUNT ON ME

I hope the song would bring you some relief or even better some inspiration to keep on going, no matter what you are facing in your life.

The truth is that life simply moves on, the challenges keep on coming, inspiration continues to emerge and we, that have been bereaved must find away through it all even when we are misunderstood because of cultural bias and the lot to keep on standing, to keep on moving and to keep on winning.

As a twin, I can certainly say today that tomorrow has come, it will be a while yet before I am reunited with Folashade, but I am certain that it will happen and I look forward to that day, when all saints shall be reunited and Alleluia shall be the constant refrain!

Some are born great, some are born twins...

2012-03-02T08:22:00.000+01:00

It was in From Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, 1602 that Malvalio said:

…..some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.

In our case we were born twins and that is an inescapable fact, it is not a fact you ever forget, lay to rest or run away from.

Today of all days, the 2nd of March is when we, Folashade and I were born into this world, today is a vivid reminder of her absence and her glorious transition to heaven. In the past few weeks I have felt that I am handling things better, but today it is mixed blessings. I am told as the years go by, days such as our birthday will get easier to handle, but till then I deal with it in the only way I know.

To some it remains a sore point, the twin thing, but I simply have no apologies to make, I did not ask to be born a twin or to acquire such a unique status. My maker takes the credit for that. I am determined, however, despite past failings to make my today, tomorrow and the rest of my life without my twin a journey of service to the Lord.

My brother in law is doing a remarkable thing today, on the site we share, he is laying the foundation of some building and is naming it 'Folashade Court' after my beloved and unforgettable twin. My nieces have asked for a birthday cake to be made and for them to go and celebrate at her graveside. You see her memory can never die for it lives on in our earth!

I thank my wife, daughters and all those who have already sent me best wishes, I expect more from many including my long suffering mother, brother and brother-in-law. What do I have planned today? I shall do some work today and reflect on God's goodness and faithfulness. Happy Birthday Twin!

Now Is The Time To Build!

2012-02-21T18:38:00.000+01:00

I am now beginning to feel comfortable about the memories of my twin sister, oh! Please do not misunderstand me, I do miss Folashade so terribly. The point, however, is that her memories now propels me to be better to reach out for something more substantial and of eternal value. For I am determined that those around me realise the value of life and not waste it pretending to be what they are not.

I have spent too much time stumbling around in the dark, clutching at straws, sleeping while it is day, when the challenge of the hour and of our time requests a definitive daily response from me. I might have focused more on things of earthly substance rather than on things of eternal value, I might have wallowed away in self absorption rather than in being a dynamo for Christ. And yet the time is passing by, the years are moving so fast, or so it seems!

Passing by, because yesterday on my wife's prompting I realised it is 19 years of marriage. How the time flies you might say. Yes but time is not neutral, we, each one of us must take it, master it and use it for the wider benefit of the kingdom. Now is not time for human imperialism of building our early kingdom, now is the time for heavenly imperialism of Building God's kingdom!

So today as our birthday approaches on the 2nd of March I make a solemn vow; that I will preserve Folashade's memory, climb mountains to help the oppressed, run the distance to let the gospel be proclaimed, go into virgin territories so that Christ alone might be glorified! So help me God!

"The Just Shall Live By Faith."

2012-02-19T16:25:00.000+01:00

I became a Christian believer quite early, at the age of 12, the 11th of October 1979. It was then I took a firm commitment to follow Jesus Christ wholeheartedly. Since then I have journeyed on,working out my salvation with fear and trembling. In the early days I used to approach faith like many other brethren of the Pentecostal variety, on the basis that we determined what we wanted for our lives and God, our sovereign simply fell into line. The extreme variety was to name a request, claim it and then receive it whether or not it was in God's will. The logical implication of this also extended to my interpretation of well being and prosperity. The belief was that prosperity was limited to the the visible signs of wealth rather that prosperity of the soul and spirit.

In the same vein it meant that believers could not die before the threescore and one (age 70 years) and if they died before then it must have been lack of faith or some hidden sin committed by them. But as we grew older and matured in faith things simply did not add up. I witnessed many faithful ones 'cut down' before what I presumed was their time, many Christian soldiers called home 'too early'. Then it finally hit home with my twin sister! We prayed, fasted and proclaimed all manner of prayers, I even tried to use my special connection as the twin to speak into her life, to reverse the inevitable!

So what are we to say about faith, described in the Bible as 'the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen'? My view of faith, is that it is as high as a mountain when we believe God is sovereign even when things do not go our way in the answer to prayers. It means that even in inexplicable deaths, disasters and tragedies of unspeakable proportions we still have the strength to believe God is in charge, in control and has a perfect plan for us. That is what having faith to me is, this is what living by faith implies. It is simply not tailoring God to fulfil my own agenda.

Half Term…...

2012-02-15T18:15:00.001+01:00

It is the half term week when the kids are off and things take a slower pace, the roads are less busy and one can relax a bit. However, its not so for me, work continues, including travel to Hertfordshire tomorrow and a meeting in London with my brother and brother-in-law (Folashade's husband).

With my mother

With my brother-in-law

The family with my mother on her birthday

Me

I have come across some Summer snaps taken by my sister-in-law, my brother's wife, capturing the lives of my nieces and my mother's birthday. One of the pictures is one of me and my mother and it captures how so much I resemble her, the smile and the use of facial gestures to give a hint or two to ones mood.

Each day i remind myself of the selfless and remarkable sacrifice of the woman, my mother, she really is the topmost of all human beings! My twin sister never made her forget it and was incredibly close to her. I do wonder how she is coping, but i know that the gift of my twin's children is what sees her through on a day to day basis. There is a lot for us to celebrate.

This life is so short and we can waste it or live it to its fullest, I know what my choice is!

My Unbeatable Twin!

2012-02-12T18:00:00.000+01:00

It has been some time since I wrote in or even visited my blog and a lot has happened since then! We have had the big freeze with snow everywhere, I have attended my last counselling session and was away in Suffolk on retreat with my fellow Directors. But its good to be back to my blogging ways again.

Picture of my daughters on the way to church.

I was thinking today about the last words I said in the presence of my twin sister, when I said 'It is well with you' as my brother, cousin 'Ronke and myself retired late in the night to go home. I was never to see her alive again, even though I prayed and spoke to her over the phone in the subsequent night. I am certain that she entered heaven with the sounds of worship and praise.

Folashade was a leader in every respect and when we were young would brook no nonsense whilst I sought to play the diplomatic game. She always said it as it is, no messing, no fancy words! I was asked where I felt I was at the last session with my counsellor and I was clear that the pain remains raw, the loss deep but I have acquired the tools to cope with it. I have come a long away since the dark days of last September, a way to go yet but I will forever miss her, my unique, my fashionable and unbeatable twin!