Twirling, Twirling, Twirling Towards Freedom!!!

I Can Only Imagine....

2012-01-22T20:12:00.000-05:00

......the brand new curse words invented by my parents after tonight's field goal, or lack thereof.

Why Hasn't This Happened Yet?

2012-01-07T18:29:00.001-05:00

This man needs to be in the Hall of Fame.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T13:23:00.005-05:00

As 2011 closes and 2012 starts...insert some sort of poignant meaningful phrase here about everyone getting to start over and do something cool.

Nine times out of ten, when someone makes a New Year's post, they say they're not going to make any more resolutions and just enjoy the year. Typically, the reason given is because they set very high expectations and therefore never follow the resolution and it ends up creating undue stress and pressure in their lives. I've actually never made a New Year's resolution because I know I'd never follow it in the first place because of these reasons, so there would be no point.

The other more superficial reason is because I have Hipster Syndrome about holidays, and like to feel smug and superior by not subscribing to most holiday crazes or traditions (i.e. Valentine's Day, Black Friday shopping, Christmas panic in its entirety, and the fact that we're all going to supposedly die in December).

We celebrated at the house of some new friends by playing games, watching Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve from 11:57PM to 12:02AM, and of course, drankin'. Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve + drankin' is one tradition I never diverge from, but unfortunately, it has gotten pretty depressing. It's obvious DC has had a terrible stroke (or something), and every year it is a little bit sadder to watch. But, at least he's still out there trying!

All right, I really want to go play Red Dead Redemption, so I'm going to hurry up and lay down some easy resolutions, some of which I'm going to attempt to follow:

~ Use my slow cooker more often
~ Knit better
~ Save some extra money from each paycheck
~ Take a vacation (Hello, Harry Potter World!)
~ Eat food. Real food. Mostly plants.
~ Stop sweating the small stuff
~ Cherish whatever time left I have with my Shadow
~ Vote (What? I have to have one easy one, don't judge me!)
~ Vote again (lol)
~ Join a CSA
~ Cook with at least five new ingredients this year
~ RELAX

Bloglag

2011-12-04T12:28:00.003-05:00

Hello all three of you who read this!

I am sorry for the delay between posts. On a good note, I've been making and enjoying lots of tasty food. On a bad note, I've been totally selfish and not putting it on my blog. I even had a great after-Thanksgiving turkey soup, but totally forgot to take a picture of it before it was all eaten.

My only excuse is that I've been busy working!!!, and also playing The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, and also hanging out with friends and doing things.

And sometimes this blog is a chore, frankly.

I DO have plans for some Christmas posts, but they probably won't go up until after Christmas, because some of them are spoiler alerts!!! aka Christmas gifts.

Also, this:

Chuck Norris is Awesome

2011-11-22T07:20:00.000-05:00

The Reason For My Absence

2011-11-17T07:19:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T17:45:00.003-04:00

Also, I totally suck for not posting this ten days ago.....

Ten days, ten years!!!!!

I'm actually extremely skeptical that this "Man In The Mirror" is the real deal, but it's still a good version! The concert was so poorly managed by the media, that the only people who could even make a real call on its authenticity were people who were there, and I don't remember much from 10 years ago except that I saw him and it was awesome!

Maple Sugar Cutout Cookies

2011-10-18T19:40:00.003-04:00

I'm back! And I'm extremely excited to post this cookie recipe, because I got a really cool new ingredient to use in these cookies!

Maple sugar.

Maple sugar is a natural alternative to regular sugar. Based on a home label comparison to an organic white cane sugar, there is one less gram of sugar per teaspoon (I'm guessing due to the coarseness of the maple sugar).

And if that isn't enough to convince you, you only need 1/2 cup of maple sugar to every cup of cane sugar in a recipe, so by using it you're really cutting your sugar intake to less than half! Also, maple sugar contains the minerals naturally present in maple, such as manganese and zinc, which help your heart health and immune system!

So if you've followed my logic this far, we can consider these cookies healthy...logically!

Despite all this awesomeness, fancy and organic sugar is normally too rich for my blood, so I've had to go without. BUT, I managed to get a free baggy of it as a gift the other day. What better excuse to experiment!?

I decided since it is October, and my house is bedecked with Halloween decorations, I should put to use my Halloweeny cookie cutters, also currently serving as mere decorations. This was a pretty big deal, since I pretty much hate making cutout cookies, and the entire rolling process. But having maple sugar is a pretty big deal, too. Also, my awesome friend Sarah gave me some great tips on how to make rolling cookies less infuriating for me. Yay!

So without further ado, the greatest logically healthy cookies ever!

Maple Sugar Cutout Cookies

3/4 cup butter (1.5 sticks), at room temperature
1/2 cup maple sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt

1. Cream together the butter and sugar. Add vanilla, and eggs, one at a time. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture.

2. Roll dough into a ball and slightly flatten. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and place in fridge to chill for about one hour.

3. Get online and brag to all your friends about your maple sugar and the fact they don't have any. Also do your Hyjal dailies.

4. Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly sprinkle flour on a flat surface and place chilled dough on said surface. Lightly sprinkle more flour on top of dough, place saran wrap over the dough, and roll out to about 1/4 inch thick.

(Sarah's Pro Tip: If you've thrown out your shitty rolling pin in the heat of anger, you can use a wine bottle(in my case, balsamic vinegar) as a makeshift pin over the saran wrap! Works great!)

5. Using cookie cutters, cut out cookies and place on a sprayed cookie sheet. Bake in oven for approximately 10 minutes. Let cookies sit for about 3 minutes before removing to wire rack to finish cooling.

So we have Halloween ghosts, pumpkins, cats, and, yes, those are even Halloween Brontosaurs...

These cookies taste great, with just the right hint of maple goodness, without being overpowering. Even Shadow took a bite! Then again, what won't he take a bite out of?

Adapted from this recipe!

The Bottom Line

2011-10-11T21:08:00.001-04:00

I think I could work for this company for the rest of my life and be happy.

Sick. Sick? Sick!

2011-10-06T16:03:00.003-04:00

Well, I am on the first day of what is either going to be a cold, or a really acute allergy death. I stopped taking daily antihistamines about a month ago, so who knows?

I also am in the process of quitting caffeine (root beer forever!) and soda (occasional root beer?) and maybe artificial sweeteners (no root beer D: ). I mention this because apparently caffeine withdrawal can cause flu-like symptoms, among its many charms!

I don't really preach this too much on my blog, but in my mind, I constantly wish I was like one of these ladies who really took the time to make sure I was eating sustainably and making everything from scratch and buying local organic food from farmer's markets and only eating in season and not eating processed foods or anything from a box, can, or bag, and all that jazz. But since I'm hardly a food blogger as it is, I'd like to be at least a person who does all that!

Though I am getting better at making things from scratch and at least LOOKING at where my food is coming from, nonetheless, sometimes I am just sick and need some comfort from a box.

STOUFFER'S TO THE RESCUE!!!!

Clam Chowdair!

2011-10-02T13:43:00.003-04:00

You read that correctly. It's "chowdair" today, not chowdah like before! I was shown this link to try as a new chowder recipe, and since it's from Canada and not New England, I can't call it chowdah today!

This is a chowder recipe served to the Canadian army, and I decided to make it French Canadian (if only in my own silly 'Merican head) by serving the chowdair with croissants. Also, so I could say "chowdair" a lot.

Technically the Daring Baker's Challenge this month is homemade croissants, but I am wayyyyyy too lazy for that. I know that even though the actual work involved is minimal by comparison, and most of it is rise time, I still don't want to take 12 hours to make 12 croissants, when I can go buy them at the store and be back in 20 minutes. Instead, spend 30 minutes watching Julia Child's croissant demonstration while you eat your store-bought ones. C'est magnifique!

Due to the amount of butter in this recipe (an entire stick!), and the use of evaporated milk, it's definitely the most decadent clam chowder I've ever had. Despite the rich taste, it is quick, easy, and very comforting! And you should definitely use real butter, because margarine or some other fake crap in a tub just isn't going to be as awesome!

I never seem to get all the ingredients in the photo because I always add extra stuff!

Clam Chowdair
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 6.5-oz cans minced clams, drained with juice reserved
2+ cups cold water
2 potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 12-oz. can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon dried thyme
garlic salt, salt, and pepper

In a large soup pot over medium-high heat, combine the butter, celery and onion. Saute for about 3 minutes, add the flour and stir well to make a roux. Add the reserved clam juice to make a paste, then slowly add enough cold water to reach the desired thickness. I used about 2 cups, though next time I might try 3. Whatever your preference, add only about a cup at a time. You can always add more, but you can't take away once it's done!
Add the potatoes, milk, thyme, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and any other seasonings you might dig. Reduce heat to low and allow soup to simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender. Add the clams and allow to heat through.

Also, no chowdah/chowdair discussion would be complete without Freddy Quimby demeaning the waiter, as anyone who knows me should expect:

Adapted from Allrecipes!

Roasted Eggplant and Garlic Dip

2011-09-22T17:42:00.006-04:00

I apologize in advance for the fact that I have no pictures to go with this post, but to be honest, despite its deliciousness, this is not the prettiest recipe in the world anyway!

Though it is very easy, this dip takes a little bit of time because the vegetables have to roast. But, depending on where you live, it may even take less time than going to the store and back to buy your own dip! And you can do other stuff in the meantime! And this dip is healthy, cheap and versatile!

Roasted Eggplant and Garlic Dip

1 eggplant
1 head of garlic (yes, an entire head)
mayonnaise, yogurt, sour cream, etc
your favorite vinegar
your favorite oil
salt & pepper
any other spice or condiment you might like!

Preheat the oven to 450F.

Chop the top third or so of the head of garlic off, exposing the cloves. Wrap head of garlic in foil.

Wash the eggplant and prick it several times on all sides with a fork. Place this and the garlic on a baking sheet and roast for 30 minutes. Remove the garlic and roast for another 15 minutes.

When that's all done, squeeze the garlic out into a blender, food processor, or bowl to be used with an immersion blender. Slice open your eggplant and scrape the skin into the bowl. Puree!

Now it's time to get creative and make this dip to your own tastes! I use a dollop or so of mayonnaise or sour cream, a couple tablespoons each of olive oil and red wine vinegar, and some salt and pepper. Then I'm ready to mix it up and chow down with some tortilla chips! This could also be a nice sandwich spread or dip for healthier things, like veggies.

Get your dip on!

Beluga Lentil Tabbouleh & Spice Bread

2011-09-19T14:35:00.004-04:00

Okay, these two recipes really have nothing to do with each other culturally, and probably aren't even supposed to be eaten together. But I made them at the same time because, what can I say, I'm a convention-pushing badass like that.

This tabbouleh (you say taboule, I say tabbouleh) recipe is the first I've ever tried, and I just love it. It is so simple and healthy, and a good excuse to try bulgur wheat if you never have before!

Tabbouleh

1.5 cups cooked black lentils*
1.5 cups cooked bulgur*
2 T. olive oil
2 T. rice vinegar
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1/2 cup chopped sweet onion
1 t. minced garlic
1 t. oregano
salt and pepper

ALSO PARSLEY.

*I honestly don't know if my proportions are correct to this recipe, but if you don't mind the lentils coloring the bulgur, here is the lazy way to cook this stuff. Boil 3/4 cup lentils in at least 6 cups of water for 15 minutes. Then add 3/4 cup bulgur to the pot and cook for another 15 minutes. Drain.

In a large bowl, combine the lentils and bulgur. In a small bowl, whisk together everything else. Pour over the lentils and bulgur, and toss til well coated. Chill for an hour or more to blend the flavors.

Last step: gorge yourself to death.

Recipe adapted from The Rodale Whole Foods Cookbook!

I just let the tabbouleh chill during the time it took me to make this bread. To be honest, I didn't have all the real ingredients required for this, so I made a lot of substitutions and the bread came out less than optimal. It was still tasty and sweet, but kinda chewy, in the way that a quickbread should not be! But for something that is only good for leveling your Cooking to 40, what are ya gonna do?

Spice Bread

2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
1.5 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
2 eggs
1/2 cup honey or agave nectar
1/3 cup canola oil or applesauce

I think to avoid the chewiness, you want to stick with oil. I didn't have enough left at the time, so I used applesauce. It is a lower-fat option, but it is more likely to take the moisture out of the bread quicker, especially if you overcook the product, which I tend to do with absolutely everything. Alas...

Preheat the oven to 350F.

In a small saucepan over low heat, cook and stir brown sugar and milk for 5 minutes or until sugar is dissolved. Remove from the heat. In a large bowl, combine dry ingredients.

In another bowl, combine the eggs, agave, oil/applesauce and brown sugar mixture. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Pour into a greased 8-in. x 4-in. loaf pan.

Bake for 55-60 minutes.

Recipe adapted from this!

Enjoy!

Also, here is a hilarious gif my awesome friend Becky made for me, quicker than I could find out whether I even still had Photoshop or not!

Hot Gingered Apple Cider

2011-09-18T14:44:00.003-04:00

I know it's only mid-September, but as far as I'm concerned, cider season starts as soon as it gets below 70 for more than two straight days! Bring on the hot dranks!

This entry will be short and sweet just like the recipe. Nothing is easier than this! You only need a few things, and if you aren't like me and actually keep stock on healthy things, you might already have them all in your pantry.

Note: this does not include alcohol, so you're on your own for hard cider!

Ingredients

16 whole cloves
4 apples, quartered
2 quarts (== 8 cups, 1/2 gallon) apple cider
1 3-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and roughly chopped

First things first, get yourself a reliable kitchen helper.

He specializes in tripping the lead chef, and getting hair in absolutely everything.

Second, push 1 clove into each apple segment.

In a soup pot, combine everything and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce to a simmer and cook 15 minutes.

Serve hot with an apple chunk in each mug!

There's no picture of mugged cider, because I was too busy burning my tongue trying to drink this immediately.

Recipe adapted from The Rodale Whole Foods Cookbook.

Panic Is....

2011-08-27T15:49:00.002-04:00

Panic is buying a hotel room for the next two nights in Cumberland, MD, making your boyfriend pack up all your most important possessions and the cat into the car, driving halfway down your own street before realizing you should call the landlord who lives next door to you to see if he is evacuating or not, and then when he says he isn't and your own house is on higher ground than his, turning around and proceeding to spend the next six hours playing XBox and reading Cracked before the power inevitably cuts out and you realize that it is only portable video game systems from here on out.

I should also mention that panic is realizing, when you go to cancel the aforementioned hotel reservation, that you had accidentally booked the room for a Sunday night instead of Saturday anyway.....

Stay safe, and don't panic, Mom (or at least don't tell the people who do, lol you know what I mean), if you read this before the hurricane is over!

Obvious!

2011-08-26T20:14:00.000-04:00

Can You Feel It?

2011-08-25T19:37:00.001-04:00

So Long, Suckers!

2011-08-17T11:14:00.001-04:00

The End

2011-07-27T20:52:00.004-04:00

Tonight, I finally saw the last Harry Potter movie. I knew as I watched, that even though the crying would cover a range of emotions, I would begin silently sobbing at some point and be unable to stop until the end. I predicted correctly.

Many who shy away from "fantasy" or "science fiction" movies don't realize that more often than not, the "unrealistic" themes and heroics take a backseat to the startlingly accurate portrayal of honest human behavior. Though of course the unrealistic parts are usually kickass as a bonus!

Anyone who has not experienced this story is truly missing out - not just on a major piece of pop culture history, but on a fantastic and moving story of the range of human emotions, and what they can drive us to. This is not merely a story about some kid wizards flying on broomsticks and Ralph Fiennes without a nose. The real story is about betrayal, sacrifice, man's mental struggle with mortality, hatred and bigotry, loss, loyalty, and the power of love of all kinds. Seems pretty realistic to me.

Also, it's not Twilight, people. SO GO WATCH ALL 8 MOVIES RITE NAO.

This One Goes Out To The "Common"ists

2011-07-18T18:11:00.003-04:00

Thanks, Dad. Music IS what feelings sound like!!

(Note: This song is not about my Dad.)

This Was A Surprise Even To Me!

2011-06-30T22:27:00.001-04:00

Public Service Announcement from Shadow

2011-06-22T14:44:00.002-04:00

Attention bitches.

Golden Rainier cherries are in season.

That is all.

Cat's In the Cradle

2011-06-19T10:59:00.004-04:00

A semi-local blogger/friend posted this ludicrously tragic (or tragically ludicrous?) tale about Some Drunk Guy who thought it would be a good idea to dedicate Harry Chapin's "Cat's In The Cradle" to his father at his wedding. Well, there's a ton more insanity in that story (go read!), but I'm here to touch upon the song dedication alone.

If you've ever listened to the entire song (and have an IQ above the average speed limit), you'd realize it is about an absentee father who basically gets his just desserts when his son grows up "just like" him, and has no time for him either. It would seem that to dedicate this song to your father, you would be essentially saying, "Hey, thanks for nothing!!"

But until today, I never thought it would be a bad idea to dedicate it to someone, because I always thought of the song in a different light. Whenever I hear the song, it makes me thankful that I have a good dad who was the exact opposite of the man in the song. My dad spent more time with me after my parents' divorce than do most non-divorce dads who live full-time with their kids.

And as I reminisce on a game of WonkEE(TM); stuffed animal football (or stuffed animal Americo-Chino-Taiwano -with Felix!- warfare, lol wut); Hot Wheels racetrack slalom; household game "Decathlons"; Pass the Pigs; never winning at Trivial Pursuit; my first PlayStation and Nascar 98 (complete with track sabotage on my part lololol); Three Stooges and Simpsons Marathons; "Mamie, Meredith, & Seinfeld!"; and everything else in between that I've destroyed my father's house with.......

.........to me, the song is a reminder to be thankful that I've had it better!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!

The Plans We Made

2011-06-13T19:55:00.004-04:00

My 13-year old cat has been diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer, that has managed to completely overtake the organ in less than ten months. His prognosis (on the optimistic side) is six to nine months. Basically the only course of action is to let him live out his days peacefully, or to end his suffering if and when that day comes.

On a good note, he is still currently acting completely normal and happy.

Be strong, Shadow!

A Cautionary Tale

2011-06-12T11:21:00.004-04:00

Today, I plan to take a break from the usual habit of not updating (or of the irritating not-habit of posting Kanye videos and leaving them there for a month), to bring you a story. A true, yet horrifying story that will hopefully teach you a moral by the time I am done.

It started about two weeks ago. I came home, entered the kitchen, and noted that the room smelled a little weird. I figured it had to be food that had been left out and was now decaying in the trash can or the sink. We have window units as opposed to central air, and, once the mercury rises in the kitchen, I figured there were bound to be some casualties.

As I am the only one in the house with a sense of smell (that is capable of human conversation, at least, and not just a series of "FEED ME" howls), the task of "Ooh, that smell - Can you smell that smell?" fell to my shoulders. I made sure the sink was cleaned out, and there were no food remnants left in the strainer. I even did a "spot check" of the room with my nose to try and determine the origin. No matter what I did, I could not place it. I gave up, since my nose had already become accustomed to the smell for the day.

This kept occurring over the next week and a half. Every day I would come home, the kitchen would reek, and I could not figure out what the source was. I checked the trash can, the sink, the fridge, the freezer, the cat's food area, the litterbox, and the food cabinets. I even checked the less-used cabinets to make sure nothing had crawled into them and died. Nothing had.

Finally, on Friday, I had the stroke of genius. I remembered there was one place in the kitchen I hadn't checked thoroughly, because I assumed the tenants of this spot were impervious to this kind of damage. I thought wrong.

To be honest, I can't take all of the credit for my "Eureka!" moment. A few weeks ago, a host on my favorite morning radio show was telling how she too had a mystery smell in her garage that she could not place. It turns out, the thing puking up her garage was a bag of potatoes that had been left out there since Thanksgiving, and had turned extremely south.

I keep my potatoes (and onions, and other non-refrigerated vegetables, still bagged) in a large bowl on my counter. At first glance, everything seemed all right on the surface, so my eyes always swept over it during my inspections.

On this fateful Friday afternoon, I decided it was now or never. I pulled the bowl closer to me, and removed the bags of vegetables, only to find half an inch of standing, opaque, brown liquid in the bowl. It smelled like death, and it was all I could do not to throw up as I threw the vegetables away, and dumped the liquid down the sink. I did not think to take a photo, but here is an artist's conception of the horror:

The lesson here, obviously, is not to waste food. Try to always use your food in a timely and efficient manner, so as not to let it become a festering, possibly free-thinking science experiment plotting your untimely demise. I urge you to check your vegetables now, for every second you don't is one more second they leak death juice into your best serving bowl! Next step: world domination.