two fish and a flame

i die

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:23:00 +0000

i have an irrational fear of mayonnaise. a compulsive aversion. i can't even look at it, let alone be near it.

i found this photo via stumbleupon - something to the effect of "pranks to torture your friends" - mayo filled donuts.

i would die. literally die.

oh, mets

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:18:00 +0000

those poor mets - five teams in the n.l. east and they couldn't squeeze them in?

who knew?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:14:00 +0000

this headline made me do a doubletake. in case you are wondering, they are: doors, beeps, photos, phones & wheels. who knew?

meetings are toxic

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:25:00 +0000

i couldn't use any more meetings, but my meetings could sure use more donuts.

so many idiots, so little time

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:23:00 +0000

i forget where i saw this, but it made me chuckle.

why i feel old, part 40

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:20:00 +0000

new age bracket. sigh.

this little gnome...

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:38:00 +0000

i know i *just* started up the blog again, but - alas - i'm off for a bit. heading down south for some fun with the fam. see you next week!

my new obsession

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:26:00 +0000

this just might be my favorite jam with a xylophone:

ouch

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 03 May 2012 02:55:00 +0000

from a company dubbed "bad idea shits," this one is one of my faves. don't worry, she's fine.

oh, mariah

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 03 May 2012 02:48:00 +0000

what a headline!

since TFAAF is a family friendly blog, we just couldn't post the pic. you'll just have to google it.

one word - yikes.

so true

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Thu, 03 May 2012 02:42:00 +0000

if vermeer's girl with the pearl earring were a facebook profile picture, it might look something like this.

my new obsession

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Tue, 01 May 2012 03:01:00 +0000

i'm late to the party with this jam, but i can't stop dancing to "call your girlfriend," by robyn. here is a fantastic recreation of the video by snl's taran killam:

who needs pins?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Tue, 01 May 2012 02:59:00 +0000

this is hilarious...billed as "the best of pintrest, without having to look at the pictures," the pictureless pintrest twitter feed (@PicturelessPins), just describes what the pictures are - e.g., "adele, wrapped in a wooly blanket" - clever!

what a difference...

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Tue, 01 May 2012 02:54:00 +0000

...a roadtrip makes. hard to believe that it's been one year since i embarked on SMurph Across America.

did a quick update on my states map - now up to 35 states (70%).

before:

after:

although i've been to airports in colorado & kentucky and i've through delaware, i really haven't spent any time there, so not counting them yet...something to aspire to!

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:29:00 +0000

assuming i have any readers left out there, this little gnome is back!

i know - unacceptable that it's been two months since i've posted. but, to be fair, in that time i travelled to 7 cities in the matter of a month and had six weeks of house guests.

are those excuses accpetable enough? pretty please...?

who approved this?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:24:00 +0000

a hot dog-stuffed pizza??

what more to say but who approved this?

question

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:21:00 +0000

now, i'm not hating - i love the jerz. but who wants to win a trip to jersey city, frommers? what kind of prize is that?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:18:00 +0000

this is a bit old, but still lovely. a family in germany has been collecting eggs & decorating their tree for decades - stunning!

why i heart the queen

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:12:00 +0000

not too long ago, her majesty was attending a function honoring seniors at a local county hall. in the next room, a couple were getting married - she decided to pop by and offer her congratulations. love.

happy presidents day!

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:54:00 +0000

...brought to you by mt. rushmore and the great presidential ruler.

(with a special shout-out to SRB!)

who knew?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:51:00 +0000

that today is not only presidents day, but also the birthday of chuck e. cheese. the big 3-5...aren't you a little old for you own establishment?

really?

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:47:00 +0000

really mötley crüe...a kia ad? sigh.

question

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:46:00 +0000

is something that is the same price as before really on sale? 200 = 200, correct?

big cookin'

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:43:00 +0000

that is largest grater i have ever seen. why would you need that? giant wheel of cheese?

oops

noreply@blogger.com (bizarro gnome) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 18:40:00 +0000

now did i *really* break the internet, cnet?