Two Jews Reviews

I wish the lecture wasn't the last...

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:14:00 +0000

A whole month has gone by without a book review. Arielle and I are slackers and we apologize. She is busy with business school, and I’m just lazy. But we’re going to try and revive this thing, starting with some of the books that I’ve read in the last 2 months. Yeah that’s right, 2 months. I’m way behind. Hopefully I can remember what I read!

After watching the YouTube video of Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture”, crying in front of the computer, and then reading more about him, his family, and his illness, I ran out to buy the book that he wrote, based off of the lecture.

The Last Lecture is pretty much like one of those happy little coffee table books that you buy to make you smile, like The World According to Mr. Rogers, which I LOVE. Except there’s so much more to it. Maybe because Randy Pausch isn’t a fictional character. Or maybe because what he writes is so hopeful, and just so honest, that you can’t help but to love it and feel good after reading it.

Each chapter basically touches upon what he spoke about at his lecture, with a little more detail and personal stories about his family thrown in. I remember from the lecture that he told the crowd how he didn’t want to go into details about his family, because he didn’t want to break down on stage. So instead, he chose to share his memories in a more controlled environment. The little anecdotes that Pausch shares in his book are wonderful, because they aren’t all happy little memories. In order to emphasize the points that he makes, he shares the good, the bad, and the ugly. And seems to do it with humor the entire time.

I unfortunately learned right when I read the book that Randy Pausch had finally succumbed to his battle with cancer, and I immediately thought of his wife now raising their three young children alone. But luckily, Pausch leaves such a legacy with his Last Lecture and book, that I can’t imagine his kids not knowing how their father felt about them.

And if you haven't, watch the video. It's worth it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Kids suck. Especially when you're overweight.

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:28:00 +0000

I have a friend from college who went to work at Camp Shane one summer. You may know Camp Shane from an MTV special that they had years ago. Regardless, Camp Shane is a fat camp. Much like the one that Stephanie Klein spends her summers at in her memoir Moose.

I spent 8 years at summer camp also, and I really enjoyed Klein's honesty and abrasiveness that she used in describing her camp years. Camp was a wild time, and Klein spares us nothing. If teenage sexuality was rampant at your camp, it was certainly wild at fat camp. Which, as Klein proclaims, was most likely because the playing field was even for the first time in these kid's lives.

Klein doesn't gloss over the BS that fills a kid's life when they're forced into a situation with other kids. (School included.) Camp, although awesome, is a major drama fest, and we're spared nothing about it in Moose.

And although she got kicked out of camp for teaching other girls how to throw up (which she was taught by another camper), Klein eventually lost the weight that she needed. It was refreshing to see that Klein didn't use losing weight as a happily-ever-after crutch, because she still struggled and was honest about it.

I mean, the whole reason for this book was that she needed to gain weight for her pregnancy, and nearly had a panic attack when she was told to do so by her doctor. Luckily, she got over her fear of becoming fat again, and gave birth to her healthy twins.

Another case of parents screwing up their children...or maybe this ones the child's fault.

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:56:00 +0000

So little time, so many memoirs. Seriously if you haven't been able to tell from this blog (when I actually remember to post in it), I am a sucker for memoirs. I probably read them more than any fiction novel, and in recent years, they've begun to fill my bookshelves. (I really should look into getting a library card again.)

I don't remember putting Who Do You Think You Are? into my Amazon cart, but once it was there I figured, why not? Alyse Myers was born and raised in Queens, the product of a working class Jewish family. She was a Daddy's Girl, even though her father disappeared for days at a time, and often fought with her mother. Never close with her younger sisters, Alyse doesn't know what to do with herself when her father dies. She understands that he had an illness, but doesn't understand who that strange woman in his hospital room was.

As time goes on, Alyse realizes that even though she loved her father more, that he was not perfect. However, she still is not close at all with her mother, a woman who she considers to be slightly off kilter, and who will dole out love only to take it back in an instant.

Alyse finally makes her escape from her family by working hard to get accepted to one of NYC's specialized public high schools, and from there goes on to City College, where she finally moves out.

It's after this time that we kind of fast forward through Alyse's adulthood, through her first post college jobs, marriage, and child. And as her mother becomes ill, it comes up that maybe her volatile relationship with her mother was something that only Alyse experienced. Her sisters say that she was a good mother, and her husband is smitten with her. Was Alyse just a horrible brat, or someone that just did not get along the same way with her mother as her sisters did?

As I came to the end of the book, I was confused to whether Alyse's mother was an outright loon, or just someone deeply affected by the relationship between her firstborn child and her philandering husband. Did she have a deep vendetta towards her daughter because she was close with the man who cheated on her, and that's why Alyse's sisters did not feel the same about their mother?

Who knows. In the end I was reminded of The Glass Castle, and the relationship that Jeannette Walls had with her parents. Both explosive, and both basically screwing up their children in one way or another.

I Could Live Without the Neuroses

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:57:00 +0000

I've done Internet dating before. In fact, I met my boyfriend online, although not through a dating site. So this book definitely intrigued me, especially since the main character writes dating profiles for other people, when she has never done Internet dating herself. Oh but she had practice writing profiles for dogs to be adopted... that's right.

I have little patience for characters with too many neuroses, and Nora, of Five Things I Can't Live Without, is definitely one of those characters. She thinks she's stuck in her meta-life, which she has determined as the syndrome of not living in the moment, but internally commenting and questioning the experience as it's happening. I've determined it as being crazypants.

Regardless, after Nora quits her job writing profiles for puppies, she offers to write a profile for her best friend, and then decides to take it on as a career. After posting an ad on Craigslist, it's a wonder that she didn't meet any crazies. (Cause you know, that's what would have happened in real life.)

The book goes back and forth between Nora's neuroses and her trying to jump start her new found career. She also experiences a slip up with one of her clients, where she wants to kiss him, but doesn't. She still feels the need to tell her boyfriend, and after that confrontation, realizes that maybe she should stop being crazy, and start living in the now.

Holly Shumas does a good job with the storyline, and I was very intrigued by the profiles of each person that Nora creates. And even though her character was a tad annoying, by the end of the book, Nora definitely became a bearable person.

This book's title has no significance and thus I'm matching it with an unimportant title for my post

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:25:00 +0000

The other day I decided that as much as it would have surely put me to sleep, my statistics textbook wasn't going to cut it as far as bedtime reading. So I grabbed a book from my roommate's collection, and came out with Veil of Roses, by Laura Fitzgerald.

Our heroine is Tamila, a 27 year-old Iranian girl (woman, excuse me) who has come to the United States with a mission. She has to find a husband. ASAP. She has a 3 month tourist visa and if she doesn't find a nice Iranian man to marry her in that time frame, she'll have to go back to Iran for good. Not ideal.

The story is an interesting one, as we get to see our wonderful hedonistic society through the eyes of someone who has been so far removed from even things as simple as not having to have your head covered when you go out in public. Tamila has only a basic grasp of English, and Fitzgerald uses a simple writing style to help portray this (at least I hope so - otherwise, she sort of writes like a 3rd grader but let's give her the benefits of the doubt okay? Thanks). Not only are we exposed to the United States through a foreigner's perspective, but we get an insider's view of what it's like living in a world much more oppressive than our own (and boy are we thankful we don't live there!).

The book is a super fast read, as I went through it in less than 24 hours. My main issue with it is that it is pathetically predictable. If you combined the predictability of every awful chick flick movie and every Disney animated classic, you might understand exactly how unsurprising Veil of Roses is. But hey, some people don't like surprises!

So I think I might actually mean it now when I say that I might not be reviewing any books for awhile (sniff sniff). School wears me out to the extent that I no longer need a book to help me fall asleep at night, and my free time for leisure reading is such that it is nonexistent. But you never know when I might be able to squeeze a book in, so stay tuned, any of you who are out there! (Seriously, do we even have any readers? Who knows).

Super Crunchers, to the rescue!

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:42:00 +0000

Okay, when I said I likely wasn't going to be reviewing any other books for school, I apparently lied. Because here I am again! Super Crunchers, by Ian Ayres, was one of my summer assignments for school, and it was interesting enough for me to tell you all about it! Get pumped, if you aren't already.

The book is essentially about how more and more areas in all walks of life can be (and are being) affected by data-driven analyses. Super crunchers, as the people (mostly economists) processing the numbers are called, are concerned with being able to use information from past events to predict future ones. Not a data fiend? Does this sound boring and not even remotely applicable to your life? Think again, dear friends.

Even heard of the site eHarmony? Of course you have. eHarmony is one of the many brainchildren of super crunching. People have studied and quantified the many aspects of personality and how those aspects interact with the personalities of others. The data was then used to determine how to match people based on the information they provide to the website in the introductory survey. And while it obviously doesn't work for everyone, eHarmony does have a pretty impressive success rate.

Still not convinced? Would you believe it if I told you that a computer program exists that can, when given a list of a patient's symptoms, give a diagnosis with a higher success rate of accuracy than the average (or above average) MD? Tis the truth. Or what about a program that can beat a team of legal experts in predicting the outcome of court trials based on past information about other cases in those circuits and with those judges? I could go on and on with examples, but the fact remains that patterns exist in more areas than maybe we want to admit, and that sometimes analyzing a set of data really can tell the future in ways that humans can't.

If any of this sounds familiar, it's because you've probably read Freakonomics. This is kind of like that, only better! Freakonomics spent what I thought was far too much time on subject matter that didn't interest me (hello, sumo wrestling). Super Crunchers, on the other hand, was legitimately interesting, from beginning to end. If only the rest of my reading for school would be like this. I don't remain hopeful about that one.

This is a good ass book

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:08:00 +0000

I won't lie to you - Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts, is an intimidating book. At over 900 pages, it's the kind of book I would tend to ignore when perusing Barnes and Noble for something to read (just to give you the feel of how large it is, I put in this extremely large picture of the cover. Are you intimidated? Of course you are). A friend recommended it to me, and because I take book recommendations pretty seriously, I reluctantly picked up the book, considering it my arm workout for the day, and began reading.

The basic premise of the book is that our protagonist has escaped from a maximum security prison in Australia and escaped to Bombay (yes, I know it's Mumbai now, but it wasn't at the time) and pretty much has all sorts of crazy shenanigans happen to him there. Whatever you could possibly want from this book, it's there. Romance? Got it. War? Check. Drug-induced haze? Oh yes. Getting thrown into Indian prison for months and never knowing why? A foreigner joining the Bombay mafia? Hugging a live bear? Complete and total astonishment at how this person is still alive despite the fact that, considering the terrible things he's lived through, he should have died about 800 times already? That's all there too.

Roberts has a true talent for characterization, and we get a great sense of the relationships he manages to build up in Bombay and the crazy people he meets along the way. Perhaps one of the most amazing things about this book is that it's a TRUE STORY. And I mean that in the way that James Frey's A Million Little Pieces is a true story. It's almost all true except there are probably a few minor details in there that are fabricated and now the book technically has to be classified as fiction.

I'm really at a loss for how else to describe this book. There are ups and downs and lefts and rights and some of it is so outlandish that you have to wonder how one person can go through so much suffering (there are good times too, of course) and still have the good humor to tell the tale. This is an absolute must-read, and those 900+ pages fly by faster than you'd like them to.

I should also note that Shantaram is being made into a movie, coming out in 2009. Johnny Depp is playing the main character and I couldn't be happier about the actor choice. You know no one other than Depp can play such a versatile person. I look forward to it, and you should too!

Should have been called "Driving Sideways Because I've Been Held Hostage by a Teenage Crazy Girl!"

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:55:00 +0000

Driving Sideways, by Jess Riley, was cute. I was trying to think of how I would start off this review, and "cute" is basically what came to mind. It's a cute story, about Leigh, who has just gotten a kidney transplant and has decided to go on a road trip, to find herself, her long lost mom, her ex boyfriend, and the family of Larry, whose kidney she recieved, to figure out why some of her tastes and interests have changed since the surgery.

But then again, I dislike super far-fetched plots, and when she's taken hostage by a teenage hitchhiker with no weapon or cause of harm (ok, she did steal Leigh's purse), it was kind of like, "really? you had no other choice but to take her in the car with you? You could have yelled for someone, or just like, pushed her down." But she didn't, and off in the car the motley pair went.

Riley did a lot of research about PKD, which is the disease that Leigh has, and the cause of her kidney transplant. I really appreciated that effort, because I am sure that there are many books out there that mention characters with diseases, but don't really have details for you. There's also great and quirky descriptions of the stops they made along the way to their final destination (California) and Riley found the perfect medium of not being overly descriptive, but not leaving anything out.

Denise, the teenage hitchhiker, bugged the crap out of me throughout the book, and I totally saw the ending with her coming. The end of the book was sad, but also gave you hope for Leigh, and I would be happy if Riley came back with a sequel, to let us know what happens to her.

Even though I found the story to be kind of predictable, I enjoyed Riley's style of writing. Maybe it was because she's also a blogger? But in any case, if you want an easy, enjoyable read, you should definitely grab this book.

Breaking news: women sometimes don't make sense!

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:47:00 +0000

I'm learning something. And that is that my mom likes to recommend repetitive, somewhat boring books. Not that it's her fault, necessarily. She agrees that these books are boring and repetitive, but there's always a point in there that she wants me to get. The newest mom recommendation, You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, by Deborah Tannen, is about...get this...understanding mothers and daughters in conversation! Nice.

Essentially, the point of the book is twofold. First, you are meant to understand that the relationship between mothers and daughters is different than the relationship between fathers and sons, fathers and daughters, or mothers and sons. Why? Because women like to talk a lot and they're all just a liiiiiiittle bit (or a LOT, in some cases) crazy. So when you put two women together, the crazy gets multiplied and chaos and misunderstanding abounds!

Actually, I sort of already mentioned the second point you're meant to take away from the book, which is the part about misunderstanding. Tannen talks a lot about how even a genuine compliment can be construed the wrong way and taken for an insult by an unsuspecting mother or daughter. One woman spoke at a conference in front of a very large audience, and when showing the tape of her presentation to her mother, was offended that her mother first commented not on her speech, but how nice she looked in her suit.

Though examples like these are interesting, the parts I found to be the most fascinating were the ones that spoke about the differences in interactions between men and women, not the ones that spoke about how women relate to each other. For example, it mentioned how women bond with each other through talking, which is why they value long phone conversations. Men, on the other hand, prefer activities, like playing basketball together. But even that gets a little old when you mention it 800 times. Why do people have the inability to realize that they're saying the same thing over and over? Why am I plagued with always reading repetitive books?

As with my last post, there is no need for you to read this book because I already summed it up for you quite nicely. Unless you want to read the second half and let me know if there was anything new in it. Because...I didn't read it. Whoops!

The card game is more fun

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:20:00 +0000

This is the first, and possibly only, time I will ever review a book I have to read for school. Yes, I actually did one of my summer assignments, be proud. I assume all future books will be about accounting or other fascinating topics and I'm sure you can think of more appetizing things to do rather than read such reviews. You could stick your fingers in your eyes, for one! Just kidding. I shouldn't have such a negative outlook on business school before it even starts. But I digress.

On Bullshit, by Harry Frankfurt, is a teeny tiny book with obscenely large margins. I will all my school books would look like this! The black and pink motif in the picture above is strangely reminiscent of the Britney Spears Curious paraphernalia my sorority received en masse in college, but my copy is sadly boring in a plain tan/black combo. I really didn't know what to expect from it, since I had never read a book about bullshit before and I also had no idea what class I was even reading the book for (whoops!). When I started reading, a sense of familiarity washed over me, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why. And then it hit me - I was smack in the middle of a philosophy book (I was a philosophy major in college - don't hate). I knew I recognized all that excess verbiage and semantic nonsense! When I got to the end of the book, I read that Frankfurt is a professor of philosophy. There ya go.

I will sum up the entire book right now. Here goes: The difference between bullshit and lies is that a liar is cognizant of the truth, yet intends to deceive someone by masking it. The bullshitter intends to deceive as well, but has no idea what the truth really is and is wholly unconcerned about it.

There you go. This book could easily have been 1 page long. Because that is ALL it says.

I would recommend that you read it if you like bullshit or philosophy, but I just gave away the ending. And the beginning. And the middle. It's a really short book but there's plenty of room for repetition here! So instead, go ponder the meaning of life. Onward!

Zuckerberg's domain

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:59:00 +0000

You know how sometimes you'll read or hear something funny, and right as you're about to start laughing, you realize that the person totally intended to be funny and they KNOW that what they said/wrote is funny, and they're probably just THAT much more of a pompous jackass because of it, and then it suddenly ceases to be funny anymore? (If you followed that, you've clearly had your coffee today. Good job!). That's pretty much The Facebook Book: A Satirical Companion in a nutshell. You want to laugh, but you know the authors, Greg Atwan and Evan Lushing, are trying so damn hard to get a chuckle out of you that any urge to react is just stifled. And all you can do is shrug your shoulders and go, "Meh."

I've been an avid Facebook user since 2004, and remember the days before groups, wall posts, and many other current Facebook staples. Though you don't have to be a longtime FB user to read this book, you should be a user, period. Though on the surface it looks like it might be a good starter kit (chapter titles such as, "Profile of A Profile," "Facebook Etiquette," "People of the Book"), the jokes will definitely fly way over your head if you've never before set virtual foot on the site (though really, who ISN'T on FB anymore?).

While The Facebook Book is mostly a collection of bad jokes and satires so far off base that they couldn't even imaginably be entertaining, there are a few redeeming gems that make it a good way to pass the time on the subway or as you get a pedicure. One such spot is the grid that tells you what the most appropriate marital status (Single, In A Relationship, In An Open Relationship, It's Complicated, Married) is for your situation. So for example, if you're pregnant and it's mostly likely his but you never got his name, it's complicated. However, if you're pregnant and it's most likely his and you're going to turn into a werewolf in 3 days, you're definitely in a relationship.

Perhaps the thing that most bothered me about this book is that constant use of terminology that I'm pretty sure they made up exclusively for writing the book. For instance, have you ever referred to a Facebook user as a "Bookster?" No, you haven't, because that's incredibly lame. Are you going to start using it after reading it 8 million times in this book? Absolutely not.

All in all, this book is one that may give you a laugh or 2, but from a book that's supposed to be funny, that's not a great success rate. Reading this book also requires a certain amount of confidence, because people who see you reading it in public are going to assume you're not exactly the brightest candle on the menorah. But if you're okay with this, and you don't have anything better to do, then...go for it. I guess.

Chasing Better Plots

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:33:00 +0000

Even though I was mildly disappointed with Everyone Worth Knowing, when I saw that Lauren Weisberger came out with a new book, I had to give it a shot. (She’s one of the few chick-lit authors I can tolerate… and it’s not even really chick-lit. And I keep wanting to write Chicklet, like the gum. Do they even make those anymore?)

Moving on. Chasing Harry Winston is about three college friends who at the peak of 30, decide to make changes in their life. Emmy decides to become a slut after being a serial monogamist, Adriana decides to become engaged after being a slut, and Leigh really does nothing, because she kind of sucks at life. Woo hoo!

I really don’t know why Weisberger decided to name the book Chasing Harry Winston. The only one who was chasing an engagement ring was Adriana, so it doesn’t really make sense?

The plot overall was cute, and it surprised me that Weisberger became a little more graphically sexual with this one, as opposed to EWK, and Devil Wears Prada. There was one sexual encounter that was completely unrealistic, and made me roll my eyes into the back of my head until I thought I wouldn’t be able to find them anymore.

If you read EWK after Devil, you’ll be happy to know that Weisberger smartly did not follow the same plot lines that she used for both of those books. I mean, EWK had completely different characters, but was the exact same format of Devil.

I hope that if Weisberger writes a fourth novel, that she finally finds her niche. Her writing is entertaining and very strong, but she loses herself with the plot and as someone who has read all three of her books, I’m hoping for some improvement.

A Little Crusty, With Some Warm Filling

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:24:00 +0000

I’m a big fan of memoirs (as you may have noticed from my infrequent contributions to this blog), so I jumped at the chance to get a sneak peek at Dough, by Mort Zachter, for FREE! If you don’t already know about the Harper Collins “First Look” program, I suggest you get on that ASAP.

Unfortunately, even though the book was free of cost (which makes it automatically better than most books), I have to say that the “dough” was a little dried out for me. BWAH HA HA.

The basic story is that while Zachter’s father is in the hospital recovering from surgery, he is told to check his uncle’s P.O. Box and his mail. (His uncle is suffering from Alzheimer’s.) There he discovers that his uncle owns stocks and bonds in the name of millions of dollars. What follows is a story of outrage, followed by downright confusion, because his uncle lives like a poor hermit, and his family was always struggling to make ends meet.

Zachter skips back and forth from his childhood to the present day with each chapter. You need to know a little about Zachter’s past in order to understand the crazy fact that his uncle was a multi-millionaire, but unfortunately it wasn’t seamless, like other authors can manage to do, and I felt that a lot of it was not really relevant to anything in the story. The only relevant information was that although Zachter’s mother worked in the bakery with his uncles (one passed away already at the time of the book), she got paid nothing, and knew about the millions, but didn’t feel that it was “hers”.

And not really having anything to do with the style in which the book was written, but more of the story itself, I could not understand, for the life of me, why Zachter's parents let his uncles keep all that money for themselves, and not give any to his family! If they wanted to be eccentric hermits, fine, but his parents had a child to raise, and they could have done so much more for him. It honestly infuriated me. God bless his mother for signing that waiver that basically gave all of the money to Zachter and his wife and kids. As he mentioned, at least if he didn't have the carefree life that he could have, his kids would be able to.

All in all Dough was a good book, but I’m glad I didn’t pay anything for it! Oh, and the book comes out August 5. :)

Delicious!

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:28:00 +0000

Do any of you have that one friend in your group who always has a truckload of ridiculous stories, each more outlandish than the next to the point where you can hardly believe that these things actually happen to some people? There is no doubt in my mind that no matter who her friends are, Sloane Crosley is that person. In her memoir-esque collection of essays, I Was Told There'd Be Cake, Crosley recounts some of the everyday hilarity from her life. and makes us wish that she were our friend with all the entertaining stories. You get the feeling that being in a room with Sloane would never, ever get boring.

Each story is well crafted and helps you get to know just what kind of ridiculous person Crosley is. From the essay about her brief volunteering stint at the Museum of Natural History's buttefly exhibit, to the terrible assistant job reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada, to the wedding in which she was forced to wear pink plaid, she always keeps us laughing. One of my favorite essays involves the bizarre origin of her first name and the multiple laments she has over the references people make when they hear the word "Sloane."

1. Number of Ferris Bueller's Day Off jokes (included here are those specific to the dialogue when Ferris disguises himself as Sloane's father and picks her up from school): 3,567

2. Number of Sloane Square and/or Sloane Ranger jokes made by acutely observant British people: 457

3 Number of times I have almost been referred to as a man (see: "I thought you'd be a man."): 123

And so on. Sloane, every person who meets me thinks I was named after The Little Mermaid. I hear you, girlfriend.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake was a great read, and I finished it in only 3 days. Highly recommended for anyone who has a few hours to kill, or who flat out just needs to hear a really great story. Whether you're into movies, sex, or people taking a crap on your floor, there's something for everyone.

With this guide, you too can be America!

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:20:00 +0000

I guess I'm on a "books by funny liberal TV personalities" kick. I think a fabulous follow-up to a Jon Stewart book is Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You!). If you've ever seen The Colbert Report, you know exactly what to expect from this book. And that, of course, is sheer awesomeness.

I Am America tackles all the main facets of our country's culture, from religion, to higher education, to sex, and more. Each chapter contains an explanation of the basics, always replete with Colbert's patriotic values. We also get some hilarious add-ons, such as the "Stephen Speaks For Me: A Chance For Average Americans to Agree With What I Think" blurbs at the end of the chapters. In the spirit of keeping people entertained, there's also a fun zone, including various puzzles and matching games. For instance, you can match a celebrity with their pet cause or walk an old man through a maze to help him find happiness. There are hilarious comments in the margins that are reminiscent of the "Today's Word" section of the show, and a fun sheet of silver labels (see the one on the cover) that you can stick on any book that you think exemplifies Colbert Values.

Perhaps the best way to write this review is simply to provide a few quotes from the book so you get a sense of the amazingness that you're in for. I'm content to say that no description I could
provide could even begin to do it justice.

From the "Old People" chapter:

"They call this group the "AARP," which probably stands for something, but to me, sounds like the noise an old man makes when he's trying to get out of a bean bag chair."

On Sports:

"I've said it before - it's not really a sport unless there's the possibility of dislodging your intestines. Luckily, the Met-Rx World's Strongest Man Competition fits this bill. It uses a complex and indisputable formula to crown its champion. You are truly the most powerful man on earth if you can pull a semi with your teeth, hurl a keg full of lead shot over a wall, and lift at least 20 natives of the improverish country in which the event is held."

And there is oh, so much more where this comes from. So go out, buy the book, and read it. I emphasize the BUYING part, because as Colbert says, people who borrow the book "are no better than welfare queens mooching off the system like card-carrying library card-carriers."

If these were real naked pictures, it would be a different kind of book altogether

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:03:00 +0000

Jon Stewart is awesome. Everyone knows that. Why I need to even bother introducing him or anything he's written is beyond me, but I'll do it anyway! I recently read his 1999 book, Naked Pictures of Famous People, in one sitting (it's super short). The book is a collection of hilarious essays, that, even though they were written almost 10 years ago, still have the power to entertain.

Stewart's essays primarily make fun of a wide range of famous people and provide a (fictional) look into their personal lives, hence the title. In his endeavor, no one is spared. We're treated to yearly Christmas cards from the Hanson family, Bill Gates making a deal with the devil, a day in the life of the Kennedys, and oh so much more. While some of the essays fall a little bit short (the Martha Stewart essay on vaginas, par example), most are laugh-out-loud funny. My personal favorite involved Vincent Van Gogh trying to navigate a series of AOL chat rooms, resulting in a disturbingly on-par depiction of all kinds of cyber personalities.

Naked Pictures of Famous People is an easy, quick read, appropriate for anything from early morning commute reading, before bedtime reading, to trying not to rip your hair out because the guy next to you on the bus from Boston to New York is leaning on you reading. Jon Stewart was, is, and will always continue to be THE MAN. So go forth and read!

You go girl!

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:36:00 +0000

This book review is brought to you by my mom! Well, not really. My mom made me read this book and suggested I review it. So, here I am! The book is Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want. It sounds like the sort of book I would normally hate, as I'm not really into female empowerment propaganda. And though I didn't finish the book, for once it wasn't because it sucked horribly (it had to be returned to the library near the parentals' house in Jersey).

You can pretty much infer what the book is about from its lengthy title (seriously, I didn't realize how many books have a super-long subtitle until I started reviewing them. Can't anyone be succinct anymore?). Authors Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever legitimately know what they're talking about - they've done a crapload of research and interviews, speaking to women across the country of all ages and career paths, to hear their stories. Each chapter deals with a different aspect of negotiating, including learning to understand what you really want, figuring out your alternatives, doing the necessary background research to support your claim, and finally, how to ask for what you want - and get it.

Though the instruction is nice, what I thought to be the most helpful part of the book were the frequent anecdotes they put in the book to illustrate how their lessons can be employed in real life. Most of the stories deal with women in the workplace asking for more money or a better title, and throughout these we're constantly hit with the message that if you ask for something and have a legitimate reason behind it, you would be surprised how often you'd get it. There are a multitude of cases in which a woman finds out that her male peers are getting paid more than she was, and was immediately given a raise as soon as she asked her manager. The reasoning behind why the higher salary wasn't given to her in the first place is always, "The men just asked for it, and she didn't." There are also some non-occupational examples, such as women who struggle to balance their jobs and their housework, who even felt awkward about negotiating with their husbands to take on more responsibility at home.

While, as I mentioned, I didn't finish Ask For It, I really don't think I missed out on too much. I made it about two thirds of the way through and had already started to feel the repetitiveness of the book. And though the book conveniently neglects to mention the double standard in the workplace (a man who asks for a higher starting salary is "confident", a woman who does the same is "difficult"), I was still even able to take a few notes and hopefully apply them to my own life in the future. Definitely worth a read for anyone, male or female, who feels undervalued. Or even if you're just itching for a little more money - and really, who isn't?

Splendid, indeed

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:45:00 +0000

As if I even really need to introduce this book. If you haven't heard of Khaled Hosseini or read The Kite Runner, you've clearly been living under a rock. Hosseini's second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns, is just as great as his first. So much so, in fact, that this review will probably suck because this book is deserving of no snarkiness. And we all know that Lacey and I are at our best when we're trying to be funny.

The book is set in Afghanistan (of course), beginning in the 1960s and ending early in the 21st century. Our main characters are 2 women: Laila, a strong-willed blonde, and Mariam, a meek woman nearly 20 years her senior. At the start of the book they lead two separate lives, yet they eventually come to live in the same household and we see how their relationship grows into that of best friends.

With the backdrop of war ever-present, there is no shortage of terrible tragedies. There are deaths aplenty, in addition to domestic violence and the complete oppression of women. Yet the wonderful thing about the novel is that it manages to speak of war, to speak of the Taliban forbidding women to work or even leave their houses, to speak of the events of 9/11 without becoming at all politicized. There is no hidden agenda, no message the reader gains from the text other than understanding how two people drew strength from each other in a time of need. Though enemies at first, Laila and Mariam work together to overcome their hardships and try to make their lives bearable. The story is well-written and unpretentious, and is truly an amazing work of fiction.

A Thousand Splendid Suns pretty much has it all - romance, suspense, violence, a poignant ending that is both tragic and joyful at once. If you haven't read Hosseini's books, now is definitely the time to start. You will get a truly unique perspective on life in Afghanistan, one that differs greatly from the impression given by George W. Bush's post 9/11 remarks, for sure. It's books like these that remind me, in my recent non-fiction kick, why I used to love reading novels. And it's books like these that prove to me that I still do.

And All That Jazzzz (Hands)!

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:25:00 +0000

After Marc Acito friended me on Facebook, and we became BFF for life (ok not really), I was super excited to get his new book, Attack of the Theater People (I keep wanting to spell it “theatre” – cause I think I’m British or something?) The book takes off from where his first book, How I Paid for College, ends – with the main character Edward Zanni set to head off to Julliard after his high school graduation.

Pan forward and now Edward is being kicked out of Julliard, basically for being “too jazz hands” for the school. (Don’t worry, I’m not ruining anything, that part’s given away on the back cover.) He’s destitute, has no job, isn’t in school… what is a sexually conflicted boy in the 80s supposed to do??

The antics of Edward are almost as amusing as they were in How I Paid for College, where the Summer of Mischief and Mayhem was born. (That title could be incorrect; but I don’t have the book in front of me to reference.) I wish there was more Paula in this book, she doesn’t make nearly enough appearances for my liking, and without going to deep into it, I loved that Edward finally embraced and wasn’t scared of his sexual preferences in the end. (Haha - I said “going deep into it” in the same sentence as “sexual preferences” – Bwah ha ha!) There was also a little too much stock market jargon for me when Edward gets involved in that scheme, as that shizz goes right over my head. And if Edward would have punched his friend/roommate Natie square in the mouth at any point in the book, I would have applauded.

You’ll want to smack the crap out of him too if you read the book. (Which you shoud.)
The end of this book was totally kick ass, and in Marc Acito style. I can only hope for another follow up book, where maybe we see Edward starring in some random show off Broadway.

Fashion for the masses. And by "masses" I mean, "no one"

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:51:00 +0000

Reading Anne Fogarty's book, Wife Dressing: The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife, is kind of like opening up a time capsule. Except instead of being excited to start playing with your pogs again or looking at third grade photos, you kind of just want to rebury it and hope no one ever finds it.

Fogarty originally wrote the book in 1959, and this fact is painfully obvious. It was recently republished with a new, uninspiring introduction that does little more than quote the book so many times that you can't help but be annoyed at how many passages you have to reread later on. To be frank, had Lacey and I not been specifically asked to review this book by Glitterati Inc., I would have put the book down after the first page.

The book's title is pretty indicative of one of my main problems with it. While certainly no feminist by any means, I do take issue with the book's main theme of dressing for your husband. Sure, we all dress to please our significant others at times, but what about the slightly more current notion of feeling confident in your own skin? Why shouldn't women dress to make THEMSELVES happy? It is a sad, pathetic woman who would get pleasure out of wearing something she hated but her husband loved.

Aside from husband-worship, Wife Dressing is chock full of other annoying anachronisms. No chapter is complete without excessive mention of your furs. When it's okay to wear them, how to care for them, etc. You know who wears fur these days? Coat-stealer Lindsay Lohan (P.S. For the awesome letter that PETA wrote to the girl whose coat Lohan stole, click here). And pretty much no one else. Additionally, the phrase "white shorties" appears with alarming frequency, considering that I had no idea what that meant. After awhile I gathered that it meant short white gloves. Then I realized that I was wrong and it means short heels. I think. All I know is that every time I read the phrase, I couldn't help but hum Lloyd's "Get It Shawty" song over and over. And that having a song stuck in my head was way more pleasant than reading this book.

Further still were the fashion suggestions that, while appropriate for 1959, just don't translate into 2008. For instance, when trying to interest your husband in fashion, you should buy him a...velvet smoking jacket! I'm sure my boyfriend, who has a t-shirt with a picture of an old school Nintendo game cartridge and the words "Blow me" on it, would definitely wear aforementioned smoking jacket for a night out at the bar. Not.

In the interest of being fair, the book did contain some useful suggestions for clothing care, which was the second best thing about it. We're instructed to repair and clean clothes as it becomes necessary, not to put something away saying "I'll iron this before I wear it next time" (guilty as charged!). We're told "NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!" - in so many words. And of course, we're told to make sure our hats stay pristine by keeping them in hat boxes. You know as soon as I read that I ran to put my 5 dollar knit winter cap from Old Navy in a protective shelter. But the very best thing about Wife Dressing was that with its thick pages, large print and wide margins, it was actually much shorter than met the eye - thank God.

Losing weight never looked so good

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:20:00 +0000

Jen Lancaster strikes again in her third memoir, Such A Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover If Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or, Why Pie Is Not The Answer. In this book, Lancaster returns in all her snarky glory, only this time, she's trying to shed some weight. Hilarity ensues.

Unlike many weight loss books, SAPF isn't a cheesy tale of self-discovery or a lesson in learning to love oneself. Lancaster, unlike many, always thought she looked, and I quote, "fiiiiiiine." It is only the combination of her doctor giving her a near death sentence and the selling of this book's proposal that really made her try to slim down for good. Along the way, we're given a healthy dose of Lancaster's usual insanity - frequently calling the cops on her neighbors, telling off any and everyone who might get in her way, pants falling down in the middle of Target, you know the drill.

SAPF has all the components of a good weight loss book. We have Barbie, the personal trainer, stream of consciousness digressions about the wonders of homemade macaroni and cheese and hatred of Weight Watchers meetings. Anyone who has ever been around someone obsessive about losing weight knows how annoying they can be, but with her sarcastic wit and always amusing footnotes, we love sharing this journey with Jen (though we do feel bad for her poor husband, Fletch).

The only thing that surprised me about this book is how far along into it I had to get before Jen began seeing any progress. I was probably 75% done with the book before we finally moved from "I can't lose more than 3 pounds because I keep messing up my diet with pizza and booze" to "Okay, I'm starting to love training with Barbie and all of a sudden it's just so easy to eat smaller, healthier portions." The transformation was a little too quick and I would have preferred that she stretch this part out a bit instead of spending the first three quarters of the book being gimmicky (I love her, but the stream of consciousness food-related musings get a tad less funny the more we see them).

Despite this, I loved Such A Pretty Fat and couldn't put it down (and this ISN'T because I'm mentioned - not by name - on page 256 WEEEEE). It's a unique story in that it makes weight loss funny, and there are parts of the book that anyone can relate to. I can only imagine what would have happened if Jen had actually been accepted when she tried out for The Biggest Loser - that show is a big ball of cheesy and they totally need some of her crazy up in there.

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile! (And 19 Steamer Trunks!)

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:07:00 +0000

A few months ago Arielle and I received an email from a publicist at Glitterati Inc, saying that she had found our book review blog and thought it was "cute and fresh". Hooray! She was contacting us to see if we would be interested in reviewing a book that was being re-released, Anne Fogarty's Wife Dressing: The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife. Uhhh yeah, of course we'd be interested!!

Background: Fogarty was a fashion designer in the 50's who decided to write a how-to book based on her own success at being a well dressed, fashionable and successful working woman, mother, and housewife. Keeping in mind that this book was written in 1959 is a must, because certain passages in the book make you guffaw out loud. Yes - GUFFAW. However, it's super cute, and funny to realize that this is how most women truly thought in that era - that their appearance was for them, but more for their husband.

Now don't get me wrong, I know that I dress occasionally with my boyfriend in mind, thinking of what he'll like, or wearing a certain outfit I know he likes. Or when girls are on the prowl, of course we dress up with guys in mind, because we want to attract them and make them drool. :) But I didn't agree with Fogarty saying that if you wore jeans a lot prior to marriage that was fine, but once you were married you should only wear them when appropriate (doing housework, etc). Umm, if you got your husband while wearing jeans, I say it's ok to wear them when you're married too.

If you separate the actual dressing advice from the "keep your husband happy" advice, a lot of Fogarty's tips are actually still relevant today, and helpful. She gives a lot of advice on the care and maintenance of different types of materials and clothing, and other things like what's too much, too little, etc. I can't say I would take 19 trunks of clothing with me on my honeymoon, but then again, if I could get away with it, then hells yeah. Although Fogarty isn't opposed to paying extra on airlines to do so, and I am!

It was also really interesting to see how far we've changed since her era - and how dressing up is more of a rareity nowadays than it was then, where people dressed up for everything including sporting events, picnics, and even lying around the house! A bunch of other reviews went wild for the new introduction of the book, by Rosemary Feitelberg of Women's Wear Daily. Personally? I didn't think it was anything special.

Two statements that had me cracking up were regarding tourists and coordinating your funiture with your clothing. Fogarty states that:

"Shorts on a city street is ont of the worst (examples of bad taste). This shows a lack of self-respect and a contempt for the people who are properly dressed. Tourists are the worst offenders. Ill-mannered clothes are as much of an insult to a city's hospitality as they are to private hospitality."

Hah! If only she could take a look at the city streets now! And in regards to furniture:

"A good approach to coordination is: Whatever you're buying, keep a picture of the whole in your mind. If you're slip-covering a couch, think of the range of colors you might be wearing when you sit on the couch. (Nor should you forget your husband and his favorite dressing gown or smoking jacket and how they will look.)..."

Oh yes.... I'll make sure to purchase or recover my couch with my closet in mind. Ummm. No.

Wife Dressing was a cute, kitschy book, that you have to take in with humor in mind. I enjoyed how they changed it up in each chapter, and that Fogarty gave examples from her own life, both good and bad. And honestly, one of the best parts was the super cute bookmark in the shape of a hanger that comes attached!!

What you gonna do when they come for you?

noreply@blogger.com (Arielle) — Sun, 04 May 2008 22:41:00 +0000

Whatever, don't make fun of me for reading this book. I realize it's not a page-turner novel and it's not "important" non-fiction and it's kind of weird, but I liked it! (Can you tell I've already been made fun of for reading Wild Tales From the Police Blotter, by C.J. Sullivan?).

The book is sort of what you'd expect from a book with this title. Each chapter has a different theme, and we're presented with some of the more outrageous stories from that category. There are chapters about missing persons, professional athletes-turned-criminals, animals attacking, and so on.

I have to say that this is definitely a book that starts off weak and gets better as you keep reading. One of the first chapters is the serial killer chapter, and while it gave some interesting history about some of the country's most notorious murderers, it wasn't exactly what I'd classify as a "wild tale." When I picked up this book I expected it to be the weird and unusual or at least the hilarious police blotter stories, but these were your run-of-the-mill serial killer stories, if that makes sense. However, I definitely got what I wanted as the book progressed, as they had an entire chapter devoted to criminals who made stupid mistakes and got caught because of their own ignorance.

Since the book is a compilation of true stories, they pretty much write themselves. Sullivan does a solid job of putting everything together, though considering his background as a crime reporter I was surprised at the amount of opinion and judgment that infiltrated the text (though I can't say it bothered me, just an observation). It's certainly an interesting book, and you'll definitely get more out of it than you will from your standard crappy chick lit novel. If you can handle the comments from your friends calling you a nerd for reading it, I say give it a shot. It definitely gives you a real appreciation for the ridiculousness that cops have to put up with, if nothing else.

Drugs: A Family Problem

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:22:00 +0000

Imagine if you were James Frey's father. That's what comes to mind after reading Beautiful Boy, David Sheff's emotional recounting of his son's drug addiction.

I feel like there are two misconceptions surrounding children and drug abuse. The first that children who do (heavy) drugs are from bad homes. Well obviously that isn't true. I used to work in one of the more affluent towns in Long Island, and the drug use was rampant. The second is that somehow, the parents are to blame.

Let me tell you that in reading this book, I don't think there is anything more that Sheff could have done for his son. He was lucky enough to have the means to give his son every possible resource to fight his drug abuse, and he did. I wont go on about how many chances he gave his son, and the heartache and sleepless nights that Sheff endured, but you get the picture.

Unlike A Million Little Pieces, Sheff gives you the parents side of the story, and spares no detail. It was gut wrenching to read about how his son's drug abuse was tearing his family apart, and how he constantly blamed himself - or thought "what else could I have done?"

This isn't a light read, but on the plane ride to Israel, I couldn't put it down. Just be prepared to feel horrible for what Sheff and his family went through, and to feel let down each time his son relapses.

Why I suck at book reviews

noreply@blogger.com (Lacey Bean) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:43:00 +0000

Or - Lacey is a lazy bum.

Yay!

I can promise up and down two ways from Sunday (what does that even mean?) that I'll be a better blogger, and update this more often... but that would be a lie.

Anywho, on my trip to Israel, I actually managed to read two books, one being Secondhand World by Katherine Min.

This should be called Secondhand Attempt at a Story, because it was kinda lame.

The story starts at the end as Isadora, or Isa (stupid name stupid name stupid name) is in a burn unit recovering from a fire that killed her parents. The back cover of the book explains this, and also that the story will reveal the circumstances that led to the fire.

Oh really? Cause I didn't catch that when reading the story. Yes, Min takes us back in time to explore Isa's life before the fire, but it seemed that she skipped a whole lot in going into detail about how the fire started. (We learn how the fire starts I mean, but not really the causes leading up to it.)

So Ms. Min - next time, when you say that you're going to reveal circumstances, reveal some goddamn circumstances! I'm glad I had your book to keep me occupied on my trip when I needed it, but if I hadn't got it discounted at Target, I'd be kinda pissed right now.