Two Knit Monkeys

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2011-10-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

Have a wondertastic day!!!

Party Like a Rockstar!!!

Hats are just awesome!

2011-05-23T19:48:00.000-05:00

Being monkeys we always find joy in the little things in life, and today was NO exception!

While digging through/cleaning out Brian's closet we found these little doosies! Leather 'hats' from Morocco that have been hand stamped! Aren't we smokin' hot in these?!? I wonder what else we can find if we keep digging in there.....

Don't we look awesome!

Monkeys you look like the Popes of banana town!

Are you going to give Brian his shoes back?

What the?!?

2011-05-22T17:35:00.000-05:00

Um, we woke up to a very strange sight this morning. We didn't know if we could approach the strange creatures without coming into harms way.

These weird tiny creatures have been staring at us blankly all day. Guillermo tried giving them a welcome toot, but they didn't budge.

After much curiosity we decided to ask our Creator what was going on in the living room and if this strange visit would be over soon.

Apparently these little fellas are adaptations from a chuthulu pattern from the book Creepy Cute Crochet. They will be given as gifts to her 8th grade advisory class to remember all of the good times we had in class!

We just say thank you Jeebus that these cute, yet creepy, guys are leaving in the morning!

Horseback Riding

2011-05-21T08:00:00.002-05:00

In our spare time we like to get out and get some fresh air. This time we tried our hands at horseback riding. Since we are little fellas we decided to start out small and ride the horse Jen made for her niece.

Bernardo had a great time trotting around field. He was a bit uneasy at first, but once he got the hang of it he was ready to enter a competition!

Guillermo was more about the photo ops. Prior to this shot, Pleeps was riding sidesaddle along with G-mo. I am sure you can tell what happened!

Pleeps got back on and gave it the old college try and had a fantastic time! He is thinking about entering jockey school so h e can ride a 'big stallion'. I hope he knows what he is getting into!!!

And if you are curious about why they have on their jams, they were worried about chaffing. (Or sharting of the horse in one monkeys case.....)

It's been a while

2011-05-20T19:46:00.000-05:00

Holy cow, it's been almost 6 months since our last post. We wish we could say a lot has happened, but truth be told we have been just been hanging around the house being monkeys! Sure, we took a couple adventures (One with Pleepleus that we need an NC17 rating for), but for the most part we have been homebound. We shall return to our regular program tomorrow. As for now, we need to do some grooming and get ready for our public.

Its about time for some haircuts.....

Peace out, and see you VERY soon!!!!!

Hee hee hee....

2010-12-31T23:54:00.003-06:00

Bernardo and Guillermo didn't make it up until the witching hour, probably because they started on the 99 Bananas around 4:30 in the afternoon. But I am MORE than awake and liquored up, so from myself, Pleepleus, and my buddies B and G...

HAPPY NEW YEARS, MUTHA$&%*ERs!!!

Twas the night before Christmas...

2010-12-24T23:20:00.002-06:00

...and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring,

except for us guys of course....waitin' for the fat man!

Merry Minkeemas everyone!

The Iceman Cometh

2010-10-30T14:34:00.009-05:00

Hello all.

Check out these SWEET (fake) fur-lined boots Jen got for winter!

They look mosty-toasty indeed. Wait until the minkees see these babies! Looks like she got them just in time, since we had our first frost last night, and....wait a minute...I hear giggling!

Dammit, you guys...how do you DO that?

Alright, c'mon....everybody outta the pool! I KNOW they are nice and warm, but you can't stay in there all winter.

Well, after much grumbling and crabbing, they finally got out, but first I had to chase them around the place. It is very strange to be hot on the trail of two apparently empty (but hooting and giggling none the less) boots all throughout the house. But upon realizing that trick-or-treating is tonight, G-mo and B-man DID come up with a great costume idea:

THE INVISIBLE MAN!

Happy Halloween from Monkeytown!

Fun with Photo Editing Software

2010-09-05T15:43:00.000-05:00

With some fun new editing tools we downloaded from the internet we were able to give you the oil painting versions of ourselves. What do you think?

Guillermo:

Bernardo:

Next time we may just have to do some nudes.....

Never leave a monkey alone with an IPod touch.....

2010-08-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

When Jen went to work this morning she forgot to grab her IPod Touch. Being curious little fellas (and the recent addition of wifi in the house) we decided to check out all of the monkey related apps the IPod had to offer.

First was Wack-A-Mole minkee style. You press on the monkey face as it appears on the screen. Tons of fun!

Then the oh so much fun Crazy Monkey Spin. You have to have some pretty dexterous thumbs!

Monkey Money sounds like fun, huh? Well, its not unless you like to play the slots with no rewards. 4 Minkee paws down!

Monkey Flight was kinda fun, but rather confusing.

Bloons was just awesome. You got to aim the monkey arm and then shoot a pin and pop the bloons. It was a rootin', hootin' good time!

Things went pretty well, then the battery died. We didn't have a chance to delete the games before she got home. Hope she doesn't notice.....

Spa Vacation Pt 2

2010-08-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

Spa day has arrived and we find the little minkees waking up in bed and getting ready to start their day of relaxation.

The first treatment is a nice soak in the jacuzzi tub. Due to modesty issues, we weren't aloud to photograph them using the tub. Personally, I think it is because they didn't want to get busted playing with their rubber duckies and playing battleship.

Here is Guillermo post-facial. Look at the new monkee glow.

Due to some 'fro' issues, Bernardo wanted his pre steam picture posted instead of his post. In his defense he did look like a very dark Wookie when he was done. It was quite the impressive fro!

Bernardo and Guilermo then got ready for their 'couples massage'. Since they were in Galena it was assumed that they were there 'antiquing' but they are just close minkee buddies who like to hang out together.

Before rolling over, Bernardo and his masseuse ended up having to move to a new, um..... fresher smelling location. Bernardo didn't mind however, he was totally relaxed...... mmmmmmmm.....

"Hey, where did my buddy go? Oh well, I am nice and relaxed..... Spa vacations are awesome!"

fffffrrrrrtttttt...........

Spa Vacation Pt 1

2010-08-16T08:00:00.003-05:00

Upon arrival in Galena we decided we needed to relax. So we did what anyone would do, headed for the HOT TUB!!!!

We got out our devil ducky and were ready to go when we were told we can't go into the tub because our fur will get into the filtration system and eventually break the hot tub down.

Oh well, There are other things to do in this house.

Bernardo and I got a rousing game of pool going. Do you know how hard it is to hold those pool cues without fingers!

That Bernardo is quite the pool shark. He won 15 bananas from me and $20 from Jen! She stomped off muttering something about "I created you and you take my money" or something like that.

Playing pool was a lot of fun, but when your on a pool table you sometimes have to kick it up a notch!

Where's Guillermo?!?

Bernardo, hurry up get down. You don't want them to see us....

Giggles were had by all. It is good to be a monkey!

Check us out later this week after our SPA TREATMENTS!!!!!

Very Cherry Berry Challenge 2010

2010-08-13T11:48:00.029-05:00

"Adam Richman here, back with our food challenge of the year: Bernardo and Guillermo take on a pound of sweet Bing cherries!

Our minkees are ready, they have 30 minutes, and the clock starts.....NOW!

To start off, the boys gentle sample their first cherry. The first red stains start appearing on their muzzles, while gentle 'Oohs, aahs' and hooting sounds fill the air. Apparently it's been awhile for these two!"
"Finishing that first bite, they start towards making some progress, amping up the speed a bit. Somehow the mocha monkey has already gotten cherry juice on his EAR, and it's only his second bite! Now that's a champion cherry-snarfer!"

"OK, now we're talkin'! The seeds and stems are really starting to fly here: no more hooting, no more poses for cute photos for their lady fans...just grunting and slurping. I wouldn't recommend standing to close to the scene, these guys redefine the word 'Spitball' when they starting shooting the seeds across the room. I have acquired some safety goggles just in case..I don't think they are doing it on purpose, but I have heard some giggling"

"Holy S&*T! With Bernardo seeming to have hit the dreaded 'cherry wall' and deciding to take a short break, Guillermo is throwing caution to the wind, actually climbing INTO the cherry bag, muttering something about, 'Eating his way outta this b*#ch!'. Incredible, people..."

"Uh-oh....these two are running out of time, and Guillermo seems to be slowing down (grim photo below)but they still have a few cherries to go.....will they make it in time?

...and BARNARDO IS BACK IN THE GAME! After a 2-minute nap and much burping, he is shovellin' them in faster than before!"

"Bernardo's awesomeness seems to have inspired his buddy, and they both polish off the last cherry together, with only seconds to go! They've done it....this battle is OVAH!!! "(Crowd roars)

Woman in audience: "So how does it feel to win this challenge, Bernardo?"

B. "It's good sweetie, but I'm glad our new bodies are standing by so we can 'change over'...because, frankly, I'm a mess, and I don't think our normal 'suds and bubbles' is going to do it!"

Man in audience: "Guillermo, I saw you wearing a cherry on your head earlier in the battle. How did this help you?"

G. "Well, I was getting pretty full, and I needed something to help me focus. This was all I could think of. Also, I just love putting stuff on my head. It's a minkee thing."

Adam Richman: "An outstanding performance guys! Any last words?"

B. "Don't EVER eat a half-pound of f*cking cherries...My tum-tum hurts. Thank you all for your support!"

G. "Adam, I just used the bathroom in your trailer. I wouldn't go in there for awhile. Sorry, but I had to go."

M.V.F.!

2010-08-08T13:52:00.010-05:00

Hello! My name is Adam Richman, and I host a show on the Travel Channel called "Man vs. Food". Every week I take on food challenges all over the U.S., from the hottest curry ever, to a 7lb. breakfast burrito.

Now, as you may imagine, I get a lot of fan mail..too much, in fact to respond to individually. But I recently received one that I just had to share. It is from a couple little fellas in Illinois who want to try their own challenge. Their names: Bernardo and Guillermo. These little stuffed monkey (or "minkees" as they sometimes call themselves) grew up in the jungles of of Africa and South America, respectively, but now live with their creator and some guy who stays there.

They tell me that one of their most deadly vices is Bing cherries. Says G-Mo: "We never had these little babies in the jungle, and they are delicious! Unfortunately, we can't eat them because it stains our minkee fur permanently"

However, as Bernardo points out: "Every so often, due to random wear and tear, we get to be remade. Well, our creator Jen has two brand-spanking new minkee bodies ready to go, so as a special treat, our last meal in the old bods will be our "Very Cherry Berry Challenge"

CAN this daring duo eat a whole POUND of sweet cherries? In 30 minutes? That may not sound like much, but keep in mind: these guys are only a foot tall, at MOST! That would be the equivalent of me eating about FIFTY POUNDS OF CHERRIES! My tummy and toilet tremor in fear at just the thought.

Tune in here tomorrow as I cover the event live. It's a once-in-a-lifetime event: "Minkee vs Food"!!

Adam

Spa Vacation

2010-08-02T10:44:00.002-05:00

It is that time of year again for the family vacation to Galena! We always get to go along but this year we get the absolute luxury Spa Week!!!!!

There will be facials, ear rubs, monkey massages and the life transforming cashmere body wrap treatment! Our bodies will be transformed and we will have cashmere fur by the end of the week!

You thought we were cute and cuddly before! Just wait!

See you in a few....

Guillermo's in the kitchen

2010-07-23T12:58:00.003-05:00

Guillermo Gray here. I am in the monkey test kitchen once again cooking up some viddles. This week I am making a delicious Mocha Monkey Bread from a kit Jen got at Target.

Looking at the ingredients I noticed that there are Mocha chips inside of the mix. MOCHA CHIPS!!!! THEY MAKE MOCHA CHIPS!!!!!

Sorry, I got a little excited.....

We mixed the dry ingredients with 1 cup of water.

Once the batter was made we rolled the dough into little balls and coated them in sugar. Look at the deliciousness.

We then dropped the batter balls into a buttered round pan. Can you see the mocha chips in there?
Then we added butter and baked. It was the perfect way to spend the day. I just love cooking in the kitchen!

Jen here. By we Guillermo meant Jen. This is the actual way that Guillermo 'helped' in the kitchen.....

Oh look, the box of mix.........

Where's Guillermo?

Oh, is this how you 'made' mocha monkey bread?!?
hee..... hee..... hee.....

Rombutan fruit and new fur

2010-07-12T18:32:00.003-05:00

Hey all! We have been enjoying this past week with our creator Jen coming back from her mini vacation. Upon her return we celebrated by sharing a few Rombutan fruit that Brian got at the Asian grocery store. What is a rombutan you ask? It is a sweet, juicy red fruit with one seed and a hairy rind.

We decided we needed to do something with the hairy rind, so we did what any good monkey would do. Make hats! Check these out.....

Good times were had by all. Pleepleus kept on his toupee for a few days to see if he could attract some ladies. He did get attention, but for the wrong reason. Most were repulsed by his 'unattractive and smelly' new hair. Poor little fella.

On a side note it is THAT time of year again when we get recreated. That is how we stay so young and cuddly. This round we are trying some new fur. Instead of being made out of acrylic yarn we are going for a alpaca, silk and wool blend. Our color may be a little different, but we will be the same monkeys.

Here's Guillermo trying out the new fur. What do you think?

You best be SHAVIN' that monkey!

2010-07-09T22:46:00.006-05:00

Hey all, it's Bernardo here: damn, it's been hot (..."in heeere, so take off all...." oh, wait) here lately. So hot that our welcome/inadvertent guest Pleepleus has just given himself a self-inflicted Mohawk. You might know Pleeps from such shows as Three Sheets. It's a great show with Pleeps owner Zane taking them to many lands and sampling vary indigenous alcoholic beverages. Pleepleus has seen much over his three seasons, so he is welcome here. But were are kinda wondering when (or IF?) he might leave. Nice minkee and all, but he is draining our liquor stock rapidly. Hmmmm...

However, after getting an email from Brian's nephew in Morocco, we realized it could be much worse. We both remember the humid heat of the jungle, even tho we are from different ones: I am from the African Congo region, whereas Guillermo is from South America...I KNOW, right!? We have it here pretty sweet now, and we LOVE the AC!!!!! Guess we're spoiled, but whatever: we're outta here, but everyone, including Nate-dog, keep it cool, yo.

Minkees out, see ya soon. HOOTHOOTHOOT!

Jen...come home!

2010-07-02T20:16:00.003-05:00

Hey Jen, you need to come home! We've been having tuns 0'fun living the single life with Brian, but it's just not the same without our creator here...

We snapped this photo using the timer. We were outside playing "Rambo" while Brian was mowing...what a beautiful day. We also helped out with the mowing: hooting and pointing at the spots he missed, and sipping ice-tea to keep hydrated. He didn't seem to appreciate it too much tho...weird. We also got to help with dinner (from inside, of course: stuffed minkees do NOT grill!), and got to taste some of the grilled cantaloupe with honey for dessert. Good vittles.

Anyway, get your butt home and let's get snugglin'! We have two days of it saved up.

Minkees, out.

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - Your Monkey Can Read

2010-06-30T08:41:00.003-05:00

There is this new product out there called "Your Baby Can Read". Essentially you simply 'plop your baby in front of the TV and they (magically) learn how to read' WHAT?

We didn't believe it was possible, so Jen developed a program called "your monkey can read".

What she did was sat us down, taught us phonics, letter sound combinations, sight words, etc. And you know what, it worked. We didn't get the luxury of sitting in front of the TV and learning, we were taught!

While at the park the other day, we decided to talk to some of the babies we came across to see how effective the "Your baby can read" program worked. Not one of them was able to make a sensible response.

Our verdict: Your baby can read - zero hoots

Your monkey can read - 10 plus hoots and an extra hoot for Jen who spent the extra time with us!

Not to mention, we can now check out books from the library!!!!!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - The Shake Weight

2010-06-29T10:52:00.004-05:00

Sorry about that folks! We get into swaddle mode and lose track of time..... Mmmmm comfy swaddle..... Sorry!

Now onto todays Consumer Report - The Shake Weight.

While we may give this 20 hoots for hilarity, we give it 1 hoot for practicality.

First of all, you use the weight all wrong. You could seriously bust out some teeth if you aren't careful!

Second, nobody looks that happy while working out. This chick has some major issues. (Brian thinks she just needs a man. Whatever that means)

Third, it was almost impossible for us to lift that thing. We had to have Jen help (once again Brian was making some odd comments....). She looked ridiculous! We had a great time hooting at her!

Lastly, if you want a workout that is way more fun, bust out the Wii. There are several games that involve the same type of movement but look like they are waaaaaaay more fun!

Overall, the Shake Weight is not worth the money unless you want to play a joke on someone.

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - The Snuggie!

2010-06-16T20:12:00.003-05:00

HOLY SH*T!!!! The Snuggie is the best invention on the planet. We haven't been able to leave these things since Monday! We just can't stop hooting about them!

I mean seriously, you are all warm, your butt hangs out so you don't accidentally dutch oven yourself! I wonder what Bernardo is doing. I haven't seen him in a while. I hope he too is in utter comfort with the Snuggie!

Snuggie, I laugh in the face of the Sunggie. You want total comfort, have Jen or Brian hook you up with The Swaddle. All the comfort of a Snuggie, but the tight bundle of the Swaddle. Mmmmmmmm Monkey heaven. I give the Swaddle 12 out of 10 hoots, it is that awesome!

Dear lord, Bernardo is right. The Swaddle is king in the comfy world. Mmmmmm, Swaddle.

Monkey Approved!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style - Bump - its

2010-06-14T07:30:00.002-05:00

Our first purchase with the 'card' was a set of Bump - its. We had a very difficult time using them. Only one of the three sizes actually worked for monkeys and putting the socks on with them in was also a bit tricky. Here are the two views.

Side View:

Front View:

We look SO AWESOME here!!!!!!

In the end we felt that the Bump - its weren't worth the money. We could only use one out of three, they were hard to maneuver, and we had to be careful while monkeying around because they got stuck in our fur and hurt our heads. We give this product 3 out of ten hoots.

Hoot, Hoot, Hoot!

Consumer Reports - Monkey Style

2010-06-12T18:56:00.001-05:00

So, have you noticed that we have been gone for a while? Well, um, we sortta got 'grounded' from the internet. Apparently when a credit card application comes in the mail we need to leave it alone...... Hey, they are the ones that approved a monkey for a credit card!

On a side note we had one hell of a time playing around (aka ordering stuff) from the home shopping network. They had so much stuff we didn't know where to begin!

We ordered some Bump-its, My monkey can read series, a dozen snuggies, detox foot pads, a shake weight and the ever popular fart machine just to name a few. Unfortunately we are no longer in possession of the above items (except we kept the fart machine. His name is Guillermo!) We were 'asked nicely' to return the items in their original condition and get our money back.

Before we sent the items back we did get to play with them for a bit. Keep an eye out this week for our consumer report/review monkey style! See what items get the most hoots.

No words can describe this one.....

2010-05-21T13:51:00.003-05:00

Heeeeee Heeeeee.........

Teee heee heeee..........

Haaaaa......

mmmmmmmmmmm................

monkey............

stashes...................

MonkeyStash!