When I first joined Facebook, it was an amazing place. For the first 20-50 friends it was a place where I could really be myself. I could say what I was thinking or feeling without having to worry about how it would be received. After all, these were my “friends.”

Now, over 700 “friends” later, Facebook has fundamentally changed. Every single person on that list, all 807 (when did that happen?!?) of them are people with whom I desire some form of a relationship. But therein lay the problem.

That lists consists of former employers and current employers. Grade school friends and college friends. Army buddies and seminary classmates. People who know me only from the context of my past and people who know me only from the context of my present.

I find myself weighing every status I post. Who could this offend? How could this be misconstrued? Do I really want to be *that* authentic? The moment I start asking those questions, I can no longer be myself. So what is the point? I don’t have any desire to live in a world of sketchy, saccharine, surface interactions. Not to mention the inherently narcissistic aspect of assuming y’all are even interested in my pictures, statuses, and comments.

So, I’m done with Facebook. At least in the way that I’ve attempted to use it these past few years. I’m not going to pull the plug and deactivate the account.* I know myself—it wouldn’t be long before I’d sign back in to see how y’all are doing. But I am intentionally withdrawing from Facebook as a place where I can attempt to be myself and be relational with 807 people who all know me from vastly different arenas. It isn’t productive, and misunderstandings abound.

So, my 807 friends, what does this mean? It means if you want to connect with me, ask me a question, carry on a conversation, or just see how I am doing, you’ll have to pick up the phone or send an email. My Facebook updates will no longer grant insight into the life and mind of Sten-Erik Armitage (after all, that’s a scary place in which to find oneself).

I hope to hear from you—and as a result of not having to filter my thoughts through 807 potential perception filters, I trust that our relationship will grow. So there it is. Facebook, I’m breakin’ up with you. I trust you’ll get over me in time.

Socially disenfranchised,

Sten-Erik Armitage

P.S. Lisa’s done too, same reasons, same decision.

* I reserve the right to completely deactivate the account in the future. If I disappear, that’s what happened. I would still want you to email or call though!

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endures to all generations. ~ Psalm 100:5

Frederick Brotherton Meyer
(1847-1929)

F.B. Meyer rightly suggests that we must stand before the mirror of truth—Christ. He is the light that dispels darkness, He is the truth of the rightly guided conscience, He is the incarnate Word. He is our standard, and our most “stringent test. With unfailing accuracy we will discover our true selves as we come face to face with him, who is girt with righteousness.” He is the standard towards which we must always push and which has no room for complacency or compromise. As one of my good friends often says, “we need to walk like Jesus walked, live like Jesus lived, and love like Jesus loved.” Jesus is the incomparable standard. The comparison game of self-adulation and other-degradation cannot be played when we have our eyes turned toward the mirror of truth. Thomas à Kempis speaks of this mirror in the opening words of The Imitation of Christ:

He who follows me can never walk in darkness, our Lord says. Here are words of Christ, words of warning; if we want to see our way truly, never a trace of blindness left in our hearts, it is his life, his character, we must take for our model. Clearly, then, we must make it our chief business to train our thoughts upon the life of Jesus Christ.

It is by training “our thoughts upon the life of Jesus Christ” that we will be able to use this mirror effectively. If I am not daily saturated by the truth of Scripture, if I am not running my daily activities through the grid of discipleship as taught by Jesus in the gospels, the mirror of truth will become fogged by the steam of distraction. He should be my first thought, my first love. When faced with that standard, I fall woefully short—but I press on.

The momentary self-satisfaction I feel from being better than “that guy” is fleeting and false and ultimately leaves me flat. Yet having the standard of Christ before me, the unattainable standard, is paradoxically motivating. One would think that comparing oneself with a standard of perfection would be crushing. Yet once again, Jesus breaks all the rules. Rather than being crushed, one is counterintuitively given hope, peace, and strength to continue pressing on toward that standard. I close with an exhortation from Meyer:

Then let us, in the name and by the power of Jesus, put away all that has been shown to be inconsistent with His character and claims, and let us submit in everything to His control. It will cost us something. We may have difficulty with our judgment warped and injured by self-preference. We may have to contend with our will, reluctant to sign the death warrant of some favorite habit. We may feel powerless to carry into effect what we know in our loftiest moments, to be our only safe and blessed policy. But happy are we, if we dare to catch up the trailing robes of self-indulgence, and restrain them under the umbrella of inexorable truth and purity.

I was empathizing with the Psalmist because on that morning my family was looking at an uncertain future. In less than two weeks we had to move out of our home of the last four years. The move out was certain; where we were going was not. At that point we had no idea where we would live after June 1st. One of the challenges in finding a place to live was our employment situation. The family that Lisa had been nannying for moved the last week of May, so that income was gone. Although I was actively looking for full-time employment and had some irons in the fire, nothing had yet transpired. It’s difficult to find a landlord willing to work with a family with nominal income and uncertain prospects.

To add to the stress, I had been accepted into the doctoral programs at both the University of St. Andrews and Dallas Theological Seminary. Neither program is funded, and my ability to pay for either program was nil. In short, we were two weeks away from being homeless, unemployed, and unable to move on to the next step. Things felt bleak indeed.

When I shared the Psalm with the class, I mentioned none of the above. From the devotional, I launched into my teaching. One of the key points that I brought out from the Psalm that morning was the psalmist’s reaction to his deliverance. In Ps 40:9-10 we see that the psalmist was not silent. He publicly praised the Lord for what the Lord had done. I exhorted the class to not rob God of the glory due to Him. When God provides, when God delivers, when God demonstrates His faithfulness, we are to proclaim what He has done!

I had no idea what God would do, or if He would do anything. My faith in Him is not dependent upon Him doing what I feel like He should do. If we ended up homeless and no work opened up, God would still be God, and God would still be good. His goodness is not dependent upon my skewed and selfish expectations. The silence of God is not the absence of God nor is it an argument for His non-being. Sometimes the silence of God is exactly what we need, as painful as that might be.

Two days after our scheduled homelessness, I had the opportunity to stand before that same class and do what the psalmist had done. I announced to the class what God had done. In the space of two weeks we went from being without a home, job, or educational future to having a home, a job, and a fully-funded educational future! To God alone be the glory!

Through my good friend and mentor, Dr. P., we were put in contact with the owner of a house in Garland who is serving as a missionary in Hong Kong. The house he owns met and exceeded all of our needs. The house was vacated the day before we needed to move, so we were able to drive our moving truck straight from our apartment to our new home. (There is more to this story that I will share in a later post.)

Earlier that week, I was offered a full-time position at the seminary. And not just any position. For the past four years I had served as a Howard Hendricks Leadership Fellow with the Department of Spiritual Formation at DTS. I loved every minute of it. The position I was offered (and that I subsequently accepted) was that of Associate Director of the Department of Spiritual Formation and Leadership. God provided me not merely with a job that would provide an income and benefits. God provided me with a ministry about which I am passionate, working with men and women I know and love, and serving the institution that has served me so well.

What about that uncertain academic future? One of the benefits of this new position at the seminary is a tuition benefit. My Ph.D. (with the exception of the required books) has become fully funded! This abundant and merciful provision is not what makes God good. If this were all to be taken away tomorrow, He would still be God, and he would still be good. Again – To God alone be the glory!

“I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O Lord. I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.”

The friends have graduated from DTS as well, and they are moving to take a pastorate in the mid-west. God provided a home for our family last week so that we could once again have our family dog who is also, as cheesy as it may sound, our best friend. Kaiya has some cysts on her haunch and some small ones on her head that we assumed were sebaceous cysts. Essentially harmless. But out of caution, we took her into the vet. The vet feels the most likely diagnosis is that she has advanced cancer that has already spread throughout her system.

There is a remote possibility that these tumors are a symptom of a condition for which Kaiya had been treated in the past; Immune-Mediated Polyarthritis. We are starting her on a 30 day course of medication to treat that condition. Please pray with us that this will be the solution as the prospect of cancer is something I really don’t want to consider as a reality. For our family, the dog is no mere pet. She is a member of our family, valued and loved. It doesn’t seem that long ago that we lost another member of our family. Kaiya is only six and should have many more years with us. We appreciate your prayers!

“A person who…does not regard music as a marvelous creation of God, must be a clodhopper indeed and does not deserve to be called a human being; he should be permitted to hear nothing but the braying of asses and the grunting of hogs.” ~ Martin Luther (Foreward to Georg Rhau’s Collection Symphoniae iucundae, 1538)

With life advice like this, how could anyone pass up an opportunity to see the timeless musical Guys & Dolls (playing at Plaza Theatre Company through June 23)?

It used to be if someone would ask me to drive an hour to see a show in a town with less than 30,000 people, I would politely decline and seek out something a little closer to home. But once again, I found myself making the long trek down US-67 on my way to the Plaza Theatre Company. Was I frustrated? Annoyed by having to make the drive? Dreading what might be a painful and amateur performance?

Absolutely not! I reviewed my first show at Plaza back in 2010 when they presentedOver the River and Through the Woods. Since that first exposure to the Plaza Theatre Company, I have come to look forward to their offerings. Don’t let the small venue and the drive keep you from a delightful evening! So the question before us now is, how did the folks at Plaza handle the classic Guys & Dolls?
One of the charms of this theatre is how they effectively handle performing in the round despite the intimacy of the venue. (Intimacy is theatre review code for “very small.”) The moment I walked into the theatre I was struck by how Julie Asher Lee and Ronda Shubert transformed the entire venue through beautifully painted murals and set pieces.

Every square inch of wall and floor space was intentionally designed to set the tone for the play. The attention to detail was impressive and effective!

Strength in this production was found in JaceSon Barrus’s set design. There were a total of fourteen scene changes during the two acts capturing eight unique settings. Using a combination of rotating walls, rolling set pieces, and a highly choreographed team, these scene changes were seamless and effective. To be able to pull off such a variety of scenes with distinction from one another in such a small venue with effectiveness was no small feat. Barrus has a talent for designing minimalistic touches that create a drastic change of scene. Well done!

Guys & Dolls is a script that relies heavily on strong vocals, good comic timing and stage presence. Thankfully Nicely-Nicely Johnson, played by G. Aaron Siler, possessed all three. The show opened with some comic dialogue between Nicely-Nicely and Benny Southstreet, played by Michael Durington. Siler and Durington riffed off one another like a well tuned vaudeville act, and then launched into the “Fugue for Tinhorns”, where they were joined by Rusty Charlie, played by Mark Mckee. Fugue is a musical number requiring some skill from each member of the trio due to the contrapuntal arrangement of the voices. Although it was executed well, Mckee’s voice was often swallowed by the vocals of Siler and Durington. It felt as though each actor was singing lead instead of playing off one another as a trio. The nature of Fugue required each member of the trio to pull back and intensify at strategic moments in counterpoint to the others for maximum lyrical and musical effect. That said, these three men sang with confidence and sold the number, despite the challenge of the Fugue.

After the impressive number “The Oldest Established,” as choreographed by Jennifer Leyva and performed by the men of the cast, we had our first exchange between Nathan Detroit, played by Ben Phillips, and Sky Masterson, played by Aaron Lett. Phillips and Lett had a natural chemistry and perfect comic timing. Phillips had the intimidating task of filling shoes once worn by Frank Sinatra. I am happy to report that Phillips was the consummate Nathan Detroit! He didn’t attempt to recreate Sinatra’s iconic portrayal, he made Detroit his own, and did so beautifully. Phillips’ Nathan Detroit was a gambling miscreant with a heart of gold with whom the whole audience empathized. When Phillips was on the stage, he sold the scene.

Lett as Sky Masterson was compelling as well. Lett’s strength was in dialogue with his fellow actors. His scenes with Warwick were pure gold, particularly their first conversation inside the Save-a-Soul Mission.

One of the strongest and most consistent vocalists throughout the production was Sarah Brown, played by Emily Warwick. Her pure tone and vocal prowess was perfect for the innocent and conviction-driven sergeant on a mission to save souls. In her duet “I’ll Know” with Lett we could hear that pure optimism and faith in her voice. Unfortunately, the number seemed to be out of Lett’s ideal vocal range so his contribution to the duet paled next to Warwick’s more powerful voice. This contrast was even more noticeable during their duet at the end of the first act, “My Time of Day/I’ve Never Been in Love Before.” Lett was impeccable during dialogue but suffered during the musical numbers.

One characterization with which I wrestled was that of Harry the Horse as played by Daniel Scott Robinson. I have seen Robinson in other productions and know he is a capable actor. In this show, however, his accent and delivery were jarring. Each time he delivered a line it felt as though the momentum of the production came to a halt. The delivery seemed flat, and the focus appeared to be more on maintaining the tough-guy accent he was affecting more than delivering the line effectively. As this was the opening weekend, I am confident that Robinson will come in to his own and fit in with the rest of the ensemble, leaving the jarring moments behind.

Camille Shaw & Nathan Phillips at Plaza Theatre

The highlight of the entire production could be summed up with one name: Adelaide. Played by Camille Shaw, she was spot-on perfect for the role. At the risk of sounding cliché, Shaw stole the show. She had the audience in hysterics with her characterization of Adelaide. Every expression, movement and interaction was finely tuned for maximum comic effect.

The highlight of the Act One was “Adelaide’s Lament” while the highlight of Act Two was Shaw and Phillips Duet, “Sue Me.” Simply brilliant. Phillips blew us all away with his vocal and as always, Shaw was perfect in both performance and vocals.

Another memorable moment was the tender “More I Cannot Wish You” sung by Arvide Abernathy played by Jay A. Cornils. He convincingly portrayed the loving grandfather figure to Sarah Brown as he shared his heart with her through song. A beautiful moment.

Two ensemble members, Rachel Hunt and Justin Diyer, had a featured moment on the dance floor during the Cuban nightclub scene. Excellent dancing — but not just there! Throughout the show these two dancers demonstrated a grace that set the standard for the rest of the cast.

A thread that held the production together (if you’ll forgive the pun) was the excellent costume design by Tina Barrus. All the characters, from the leads to the ensemble, were dressed in eye-catching, period appropriate garb. With the possible exception of the Mission Band uniforms, any of these costumes would have been as at home on a national tour as they were at the Plaza. Excellent work!

One challenge that smaller venues consistently face is that of lighting. Siler and Barrus have this down to a science. When you first walk into the theater, your eyes are instantly drawn heavenward to one of the most complex light matrixes seen in community theatre. The ceiling is virtually made of lights, each with its own purpose. One of these days I need to get into their booth to see their light panel. But the impressive thing is not the ceiling of lights, it is in how Siler and Barrus use that impressive bank of lighting effectively. The lights added to, and never distracted from, the performances of the actors.

Guys & Dolls is a show that holds a special place in the history of American theatre. Plaza Theatre Company under the direction of Jay Lewis did not merely do the script justice, they performed it with excellence! Shaw, Siler, Phillips and Lett took ownership of their characters, making us fall in love with this comic masterpiece all over again. Once again Plaza Theatre Company, you made me enjoy myself despite the two hour drive!

Introducing Theological Pursuits. Head on over to theologicalpursuits.net to read the inaugural post. I anticipate clarity of direction, and some exciting news that I will share in the coming month will result in that blog actually having regular content. None of it will be any good, of course, but it will at least be regular. And content.

So what is the future of the innerstrife blog? It will now house personal updates, prayer requests, and the occasional whimsical thought that doesn’t merit consideration on the new blog. Thanks for all your encouragement, and I hope you take the time to tune in to the new blog, and keep up with the old!