Two Ton Chicken

My stupid Animorphs figures part 1

2012-03-31T08:00:00.136-07:00

We all knew it would come to this. Quite possibly the worst execution of a toy line since The Boxcar Kids Nerf Guns. I give you:

TRANSFORMERS ANIMORPHS

yay
First off, I am a huge Animorphs fan. I have every book. I have multiple copies of some books. And I have all seven different covers of Megamorphs number 2. (there was one for all six members of the team and with all of them together.)
I have a problem.
So there will be lots of references to the books in this post. If you want to know more about the series, I would recommend Poparenas Opinionated Animorphs Book Guide videos. He does a great job on them and points out a lot of things I missed when I read the books.
Now onto the toys.

As I said, these really are Transformers. Which means I am once again raking Hasbro over the coals. I will reapeat, I like Hasbro. But when they pitch it underhand, I am going to hit it out of the park.

First up, leader of the team, Jake

And right off the bat we see our first major problem.
Can you say kibble boys and girls?
This is just ugly. He has a tiger head hanging off his shoulders!
Oh, and he has a half-morph head as well.

Which makes him look like Tygra with rabies.
And the claws for tiger mode are gloves you have to store on your own. I thought we had moved past this.

Atleast the animal mode looks good. I wish I could say that about the next one...

Tobias

At least he looks somewhat humanoid.
His bird form on the other hand...

I...I...Next.

Marco

In 'human' mode

and 'I really need a shave' mode.

And full on gorilla mood. Not that bad. But not good by means, as the hands are also gloves.

But the weird part is this fur thong he has to cover his red shorts.
And I don't remember him using a chain in the books... Or becoming a gorilla in the TV show. So it's inaccurate on both counts.

Cassie

Ahh Cassie. The Ma-Ti/Scrappy Doo of the group.
And wearing her Animorphs branded overalls. Nice job keeping the secret.

And her creepy pupiless half morph head.

And wolf mode with hilariously huge claws, that are again seprete pieces you can't store on the figure.
At least the wolf was Cassie's main 'battle morph' in the books.

Rachel

Rachel is a bit different because her mid-morph head is spring loaded and down by default.

So you have to push a button on the back to see her human head.

Oh, and once again, THE CLAWS ARE GLOVES! Sorry for yelling, but I really hat this aspect of the toys.

Now Rachel never got a lion morph in the books, but it was her main morph in the TV show.

Yeah, I've kind of run out of things to say about these. But just wait till next time. The rest of the toys in this line have to be seen to be believed.
Till then, I'm Dollar Ben and that's my two cents.

Another year, another wish

2012-03-30T23:59:00.001-07:00

All right. It's my birthday, I have a cake, Rocky isn't around, and I'm wearing shades.

Time to make a wish. Maybe I'll finally get that pony.

OH SON OF A-

My stupid Spider-Man figures

2012-02-18T08:00:00.001-08:00

Well let's get back in the swing of things with an old favorite, dumb action figures! And it looks like Hasbro is in the middle of turning Spider-Man into the same type of crazy over the top lunatic as Action Figure Batman. Hasbro, I love ya, but... please just think about the implications your toys may have. Please.

Sword Attack Spider-Man

First up we have a costume not made for fighting. Obviously Peter was just going to Comic Con and decided to dress up as Scorpion. Huh. I never saw him as a Mortal Kombat fan, but to each his own.

Mega Arms Spider-Man

You know what they say: If you can't beat them, join them.

Although now that I look at it again, since Spideys wearing second mask I think he's turned to a life of crime and is trying to frame Dr Otto Octavius.

Also, the packige shows Spidey with the mask on upside-down:

Which turns it form 'Mega Arms Spider-Man' into 'I Dressed Myself Today Spider-Man'

Web Blast Spider-Man

I don't have much to say about this, but just look at it! Where does he keep it? How long does it take to set up? What what possible situation could he use this in? Where did he get it?

I jus- I-I, what?!

Let's move on. My head hurts.

Space Crusader Spider-Man

You know, because Spider-Man is always going into space. Elctro? Big intrest in space. The Rhino? He came from space! Kraven the Hunter? When is he not in space?

Umm, yeah, this is kind of dumb.

But not as dumb as the fact that this toy is just a repaint of 'Ocean Battle Spider-Man'

Because why bother making two suites? There's no air in water and there's no air in space. It's the same thing. Just slap on a new coat of paint and call it a day. What could go wrong?

Well that was fun. I'm Dollar Ben and I'll see you in September!

Happy New Valenbowlgroundmas Day!

2012-02-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been posting. I could make a joke about doing a SOPA blackout and not getting the memo that it was over, but no. No excuses. I got lazy. Combine that with a small case of post holiday depression and Skyrim and you the perfect storm of no updates. But I'm back. And this includes Chicken Sketches (Boy that was a good idea. Start a second blog when I can't even keep this one on a regular schedule.). I'll have a 'REAL' new post by the end of the week.

Till then, from all of us

To all of you, I hope you had a great Christmas though now.

And remember, if your valentine see there shadow, it means six more weeks of football.

I think. I'm not sure how that works.

Till next time, I'm Dollar Ben, and I owe you about 48 cents.

My stupid Disney figures.

2011-11-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hey Cluckers. I'm back mostly on schedule. Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving and safe Black Friday. I decided to get over this stupid writers block by going to an old favorite: Dumb Action Figures! As both a Disney fan and professional Californian, I have frequented the parks many times. And have walked away with the odd (in more ways then one) souvenir. So today I give you one the weirdest and most obscure sets of toys I own.

I give to you:

Disney Tronics: GvE!

Yes, a toy line that can best be described as Kingdom Hearts Gundams.

I can not remember the year I bought these in, but it was at least 3 years ago. They wear sold in packs of 2. One Good, one Evil, hence the GvE. I am missing one set. It was Prince Philip and the dragon form of Maleficent. But let's look at the ones I do have.

Sorcerer Mickey vs Chernabog

First off, we have the two most recognizable characters from Fantasia.

Each figure comes with a personal weapon. Mickey here has a bucket with, laser water I guess.

Chernabog has a hand flame.

Also, in the movie, Chernabog was bigger then a mountain! A robot is a step down for him.

Stitch vs Captain Gantu

From the Si-Fi epic Lilo & Stitch, we have the genetically modified alien Experiment 626 and the knight templar space caption, Gantu.

Stitch here dose not have a weapon, but he does have four arms.

Gantu has a laser gun.

The two also have the advantage of actually fitting the giant robot motif.

Simba vs Scar

The Lion King against the scorned prince!

Heaven or Hell, Let's Rock!

On another note, I have no idea how a lion can pilot a giant robot.

Simba here has a shield.

And so does Scar.

Beast vs Gaston

Yes, but who is the true beast? I'll give you a hint, it's Gaston.

Beast has a giant candlestick for a weapon. Why?

And Gaston has a crossbow. Which he never used in the movie! Nice work.

The big question is of course, how did this come about? Well according to the package, they were made by Doctor Frankenollie, the mad doctor from Runaway Brain. That's a, very odd choice for a backstory.

Well anyway, that's all for now. Till next time, I'm Dollar Ben, and that's my two cents.

Disney and the mystical spheres.

2011-10-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hey cluckers. Thought I had left huh? Well I hate to disappoint you, but I'm still here!

And since it's Halloween, I thought I would talk about an old candy product from my childhood.

A chocolate shell around an inedible plastic ball with smaller pieces of plastic inside?

What could go wrong with that?

Well a lot apparently, as these were only on shelves for about a month before being recalled.

But I was able to get my hands one a few of them while they were around.

As you can see, one of the mane appeals of the toys was there since of scale.

There were 24 toys in "Series 1" and it was released when Hercules was in first in theaters, so most of the toys are form that movie.

The other toys were from 101 Dalmatians, Aladdin and The Lion King.

Each set had a different gimmick. While the Hercules toys were mostly static figures, The Lion King toys had detailed feet that could be used as stamps.

While the 101 Dalmatians had a rolling, action, moving, thing.

Sorry, my vocabulary is usually bigger then this. Just take a look for yourself.

Party music not included.

I don't know if the Aladdin series had a gimmick since I only ever got The Genie.

After the recall, Nestle reworked it and re-released it as 'Nestle Wonder Ball.'

It was still a hollow chocolate ball, but now it was filled with ether Disney shaped Swee Tarts or 'Chewy Candys,' whatever they were. There was still a prize, but much less interesting then before.

Inside the box was eather

A sticker,

a 'hologram,'

or a temporary tattoo.

Take note that the 'Collect them all!' text is most likely part of the tattoo, like kids want that on there arm.

The only thing I have left to talk about is this:

It was the topping of a tube of Wonder Balls I got for Christmas.

It had stickers of Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy and Pluto inside it.

That's all I can really say about this.

But I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this was kinda the American answer to the Kinder Surprise in a way. So why is that A-OK, but possession of this is worthy of a felony?

Are they more lax then America, our are we too uptight?

Either way, I'm Dollar Ben, and Happy Thanksgiving. Since that's when my next post will probably be up.

My stupid G.I. Joe figures

2011-10-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hey cluckers. It's been a while since I made a proper post here. Well this one is a bit shorter then the others, but it is better then nothing. I hope. I don't really collect G.I. Joes for the most part, but I have found a few that spark my interest. Mostly because they are weird. So let's take a look at some real American zeros.

Whirlwind Kick Storm Shadow

This one is not really stupid. It's pretty impressive actually.

Just look at this:

This guy must have one hell of a chiropractor.

Zartan, The Master of Disguise

Well at the very least, he's the master of unfocused pictures. But disguise? Let's see...

Well I can't tell the difference.

Gatling Laser Gun Duke

And all this time I thought 'An Army Of One' was in the metaphorical sense.

Does it come with an AC adapter?

Arctic Threat Shipwreck

Ok, I don't know what exactly is going on in the arctic that we need to send so many people down there, but I want to know.

But of course the most importint thing to remember when going to the arctic is your TROPICAL bird!

Well, that's all for now. Till next time, I'm Dollar Ben and that's my two cents.

Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

2011-10-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Serve candy out of our necks!

My word that is horrifying.

Is this a sign some things should not be made in 3D?

Yes, yes it is.

Are you ready for the New Vegas Fallout? part 4

2011-09-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

Well I said I would have something up by Friday,

and it's Friday somewhere I'm sure.

So, blah blah wasteland, blah blah survival, blah blah game.

Last time we met a guy named Ringo who escaped from the Powder Gangers. And now the Gangers are willing to tear up this town to get him back. Ringo wants to fight for his life, but only if Sunnys on our side. She is, and I've been dragged in the middle of this. Ungrateful jerks. After all I've done for them! Those houses didn't clean themselves out you know. Anyway, back on track.

So, we need Trudy to get the others on our side. Well maybe I can convince her with telekinesis!

No? Well I'm out of ideas.

Maybe I can find something to help in the back room.

Oh. Sunset Sarsaparilla. Don't mind if I do.

Nothing else back here but some magazines. A lot of help those will be.

I guess I could talk to her, but I doubt it will help.

Oh. Well you might change your mind when you check your Sunset Sarsaparilla supply.

Ok, I'll talk to him. Because I have to do everything apparently.

Liston bud, I have about 15 reasons for you to help us, and the're all in this pistol here.

Care to take a look?

Of course you will. Now on to the Doc.

Liston doc, we need stimpacks and I am not taking no for an...

Well OK then. Bye.

Sunny said something about Pete having some dynamite around here.

How hard can it be? It's a stick you light on fire and throw. Now give the boom tubes!

You got that right.

Now to get some of my own supplies.

Well, you can't take it with ya.

Now who burys a shotgun with no ammo? How inconsiderate.

Now to get back to town and...

Ok, why are you wondering around this town, and why are you naked?

Never mind. I don't care/want to know.

Thanks weird name. I'll twist over to Ringo and give him shout that we're ready.

Yep. Now here's the plan. When the Gangers show up, just pretend the're surfer music. You killed it once before, you can do it again.

What impeccable timing. Just when I said we were ready, they show up. What are the odds?

Well that makes one of us.

To battle!

We shall fight, and we will wi-

WHY ARE YOU STILL NAKED?!

That aside, to battle!

Die monster, you don't belong in this world!

Yeah, I rock.

You only had 100 caps on you the whole time?

If I had known that, I wouldn't have bothered trying to kill and rob you.

Now that this is over with, I can finally leave this hick town and get this journey star-

SONOFAB!

GAME OVER, AGAIN

You want updates? How about a cat?

2011-09-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a little pic of my cat Ike to hold you over till my next post.

It will be up by Friday, I promise.

And yes, I keep my Wii Remote in my printer. Doesn't everyone?

Are you ready for the New Vegas Fallout? part 3

2011-09-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Man, it has been forever seance I last played this.

Well let us travel into the wasteland once again in Fallout: New Vegas.

I can't even remember why I stopped playing.

Wait, it's starting to come back to me.

Yeah! Suck it scorpion! No one likes your style!

Take that bloatfly! No one's buying your screenplay now!

Who's laughing now?! The answer is me! Ha!

Hey what's that?

Aww. Someone must have loved that snowglobe so much they wanted to be buried with it.

Well they wont miss it now.

Yoink!

Now let's check my grave.

I can't believe this! No bathroom, no kitchen and only one-half bedroom!

Did they really expect me to live here? Some people have sense of class.

You can tell that by the way they though there trash on the ground.

I know this is the post-apocalypse but let's have some standards people.

Also...

Whoever's buried here won't be missing this.

Well I got what I needed here, so I better had back to Sunny and...

I didn't see anything. I'm just going to take this hat and walk away.

Hey Sunny, how's it going? I definitely did not see a skeleton in a refrigerator on the way here. Nope, not at all.

Whoa. Hold on. I don't know what you and your little backwater town are into but I- oh. You mean powder that heals you. Alright then.

Thanks Sunny. Your'e a real well of obvious information. Got any other tidbits of knowledge to share? Like when the sun is out it's called daytime?

Well if you insist.

Seems like a nice enough place.

Or maybe not.

What was that all about?

Hmmm... If He was worth attacking, then he must have something worth stealing...

I think I'll give this Ringo a visit.

OH! You're awake. Well, I'm here to, help, you. Yeah. Let's go with help.

Well it turns out he's willing to fight for his life, but only if Sunnys in.

So I'll go talk to her. I'm sure she'll say no and we can drop this whole thing.

Crap.

Well it looks like I got myself in the middle of a gang war.

Curse my kindhearted nature.

That reminds me, I should buy a shovel so I can dig up those graves...

The mysterious cases of DVDs

2011-09-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well I told you I would get something up by the weekend, and for once I'm on time. Since I'm still suffering from some writers block, I decided to challenge myself and make a post about the most boring subject I could think of. DVD cases! Now this should be fun.

First up, the default case. Nothing to say here. Simple, efficient, clean. Moving on.

I don't know what these are called. I will therefor call them the 'cardboard clasp' type of case.

There made of cardboard and have a plastic clasp on the right to hold it closed. Hence the name.

I don't care for them because they feel cheap and get damaged easily.

Here we have the 'starter box'.

You get the first volume and a box big enough to hold the complete series.

I like it. They look really nice on your self. However...

When you have a longer series, it can get a little unwieldy.

Now or my favorite type, thinpacks.

Easy to store, easy to get the disc you want, and allows for some great art-design.

Now form the top to the bottem...

Digipaks. Uhg. Large, unwieldy and fragile. If one part brakes you have to replace to whole thing.

These are the worst!

No, I take it back. THESE are the worst! Over lapping discs!

Who the crap thought this up?!

Costumers hate it but they still do it! Take a hint people!

Now a little variation on the slandered case. Not bad, when they don't overlap!

Now this is the weirdest case I have ever seen.

Disc one and three are on the top.

How do you get to two and four?

You flip it open. Why? I have no idea.

Oh. Now this, this is the dumbest packaging I have ever seen.

When I first opened it up I thought:

"Hey, this is pretty cool. A little weird, but it has some great art and... Hang on..."

"Where are the discs?!"

It took me around five minetes to find them.

Do you want to know where they are?

In here! They are a pain to get out. I just said 'screw it' and replaced them with blank CDs

Much easier to get to now. What do you think Ike?

Ike agrees.

Well that's all for now. Till next time remember, I'm Dollar Ben and that is my two cents.

Fun for the whole family!

2011-08-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, let's go to the Laundromat!

It's the cool place to be!

Yeah, I have writers block. I'll try to have something new up by the weekend.

My stupid Super Hero figures 3: Infinite Stupidity On Infinite Earths

2011-08-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back with new post on Monday like I said. What? I said Monday last time and it's Monday. Don't bother scrolling down and checking because I said Monday. Don't you believe me? I thought we had moved past that point in our relationship. It's OK, I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again. On with the article.

Arctic Attack Spider-Man

So once again, we have a superhero wearing coat over there costume and riding a snowboard. Made of web. You know what, the snowboard, I'm fine with that. It's an an efficient means of travel on snow. But why the coat? Why not an insulated costume? I guess Aunt May told him to always dress in layers.

Captain America
Air Assault Glider

First off, I want to thank Mr. Moudama for the use of his stand once again. Now about the figure. I love how impractical this is. A jet-pack with missiles and machine guns strapped on it. How is he supposed to fire the guns anyway? Oh, but the best part?

The shield launcher on the back. Yes, Captain Americas one of a kind vibranium shield is to be launched willy-nilly while behind enemy lines. Hey, why don't we give Thor a rocket launcher he can shoot his hammer out of while we're at it? Wait, maybe they already did that...

Spinning Attack Captain America

Hey, remember that time Captain America put on electrified football equipment and started dual wielding shields with giant buzz-saws on them? Me nether.

Chainsaw Attack Batman

There are 2 distinct types of Batman. There is 'Normal Batman' who uses clever thinking and fundamental gadgets to stop his foes, and then there's 'Action Figure Batman' who goes to ludicrous extremes with the weirdest of weapons and is not right in the head. Take this one for example.

Yes, the superhero who doesn't use guns and has a no kill policy seems to have no problem going around town with a giant chainsaw strapped to his arm. But if you think that's something, check this out...

Total Destruction Batman

I, I have no words. And yes, that is a sextuple missile launcher on his arm. Also, I thought the whole point of Batman was to avoid total destruction.

But the truly best part is that since these are form the 'Brave and the Bold Total Armor' toy line, you can mix and match the parts to create your own over the top ridicules figure.

Now for me, this is overkill. For 'Action Figure Batman,' this is Wednesday.

Well that's all for now. Till next time, I'm Dollar Ben and that's my two cents.

Meanwhile, in the Dollarcave

2011-08-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, a real new post will be up by Saturday.

In the meantime, check out The Runaway Guys and Mega64.

Please don't be mad at me for using your footage.

Stupid game names

2011-07-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Being the masterful gamer that I am, I have seen some good games, bad games, weird games and just plain stupid games. But this isn't about the games, this is about the names of games. Let's take a look at what I think are some of the worst game names (that I can think of right now).

Final Fantasy X-2

No it's not pronounced 'Ex two,' it's pronounced 'Ten two.' Now I know the Final Fantasy games are more of an anthology then anything and are not directly tied to each other so a sequel to one of them could be called this, but still, it just sounds stupid. Just add a subtitle. How about Final Fantasy X: Yana's Quest. Or Final Fantasy X: Super Dress Adventure. Or most accurately: Final Fantasy X: You Will Never Get 100% On Your Own So Don't Even Bother And Go Buy A Guide I Think You Get A Discount If You Buy It At The Same Time As The Game. Just a thought.
Oh, but the worst part of all this? THEY'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy

Ahh yes, the Final Fantasy fighting game. Pretty cool idea and really fun. (even though FFVII gets 4 charicters while VI and IX only get 2. Seriously, where's the love for IX?!) But you want us to say 'duodecim' instead of 'Oh Twelve' or just 'Twelve?' How pretenses can you get?

Mobile Suit Gundam: Gundam vs. Zeta Gundam

Gundam Gundam Gundam. Gundam Gundam, Gundam Gundam. Gundam Gundam Gundam Gundam? Gundam Gundam Gundam.

Super Mario Bros. Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3

Nintendo, I love you. But, just read that tittle out loud. I, I just don't know what you where thinking when you named it that. Maybe this.

Well that's enough negativity for one day. Let's finish this off with one of the best game names I have ever seen:

Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ

Seriously, if you can't figure out whats so great about this, you need help.

Update 7/29/11: Well, it looks like I've been one-upped.

I'll see you later everyone. I hope you enjoyed my little list. If you disagree, just remember that it's just my two cents.

Back in the saddle

2011-07-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Good day everyone. I know I keep saying I'm going to start posting more often and thin disappear for weeks at a time, likely playing Team Fortress 2 or reading Nextwave. Well this time I actually have an excuse. Three words: Vacation Bible School. I am a maintenance worker by trade and let me tell you, sweeping, moping and vacuuming after 1500 kids for a full week can work anyone's nerves to the braking point. But now that it's over and the nightmares have subsided, I feel ready for anything. And so I bring you this video:

Well, maybe next time. Till then, I'm Dollar Ben and that's my two cents.

Big news for the site!

2011-07-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Good day every one. Sorry I haven't posted anything of note in a while. I've been busy, with, work. Yeah, let's say work. Well anyway, as of this writing my blog has 836 hits! I don't think I have to tell you the importance of this number. And with 2 followers, we all know what the next logical step is...

T-SHIRTS!

Yes, you too can proclaim your love of the best blog named after obese poultry that I know of. Shirts come in one size fits all, as long as your not fat. They cost $45.99 plus $10.78 shipping and handling and will take 2-6 months to be sent out. Please make all checks out to cash as I am currently between banks at the moment for reasons that are none of your business.

In addition to that, I also offer high quality prints of my articles!

Prices will fluctuate depending on the cost of ink, but start at $15.48 a page. Shipping is free, but handling is $8.67.

Ok, time to get serious. I have a new blog going up today. Chicken Sketches. A blog devoted to my love of animation. Post will be rather sporadic as I plan to wright them as the ideas come to me. I will post to my Twitter when a new one comes out.

Well that's all for now. I guess I should have something funny before I go... How about this?

That will work. I'm Dollar Ben and that's my two cents.

Your weekly dose of 'Duh'

2011-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

I never would have thought of that on my own.

But what if I want my drink at room temperature?

What did I just watch? Entry 6: Hub Summer Promo

2011-06-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, this is something I never thought I'd see. A jerk, a pink pony and a giant evil space robot singing a song based on one of the musical numbers from the film Meatballs. What more is there to say?
And if your wondering, yes. I am ready. Bring it.

Crazy Ben's discount knick knack warehouse

2011-06-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Do you need random junk to clutter up your selves? then come on down to Crazy Ben's discount knick knack warehouse. We have everything you could want or need. As long as it's completely useless.

Do you need picture frames? We got 'em.

Do you need more picture frames? We got 'em.

Do you need bicycles or Christmas trees? We got 'em.

Do you need fans? We got 'em.

Do you need creepy disembodied albino hands? Why? What are you up to? Weirdo.

How about a creepy teddy bear statue that stares into your soul with lifeless black eyes?

Please take it. It gives me nightmares.

Do you need dragons? We got 'em.

Do you need eagles? We got 'em. Lots of 'em.

Do you need a suggestive frog statue? We got 'em.

Do you need movie stand up ads? We got 'em.

And there's lots more!

Come down early and get a free high five from Jesus.

Just follow this map I drew form memory:

Crazy Ben's discount knick knack warehouse!

If you have money, we'll take it.

What did I just watch? Entry 5: Dragon Half ending

2011-06-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've talked about Japanese openings before, but they also make really good endings too. Most of the time they're somber and reflect on the more emotional side of the show. And some times they're like this:

This is from Dragon Half. A 7 volume manga turned show about Mink who is half dragon and half human. I never read the manga and it's been years since I've seen the anime, so I'm a little fuzzy on details. I do remember that Mink wanted a potion to become fully human so she can marry a dragon slayer. But the anime only lasted 2 episodes. I guess it aired on Fox's Japanese affiliate. Anyway back to the video. The song is called "My Omelette" and is sung by Minks Japanese voice actress. You can read the lyrics here. And yes. That is Beethoven's 7th symphony as the background music for a song about making lunch.

My stupid Super Hero figures 2: House Of M for Moronic edition.

2011-06-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

With a new movie coming out, so do new toys. And surprise surprise, a lot of them are freaken weird. And I have taken it upon myself to share them with you. But first, I want to make one thing clear. I do not hate Hasbro. I like them. They do make good toys, just not the ones I show. And without them, we wouldn't have some of my favorite shows. I just want them to THINK about the stuff they make a little more. And now, since I used up all my good puns last time, on to the show.

Stealth Ninja Spider-Man

First up is a cool looking character with a completely unnecessary outfit. It's Spider-Man, how much more stealthy can you get? Also, I question how good a ninja you can be without elbows or knees! In addition to that, the idea of Spider-Man using a sword seems weird. Well at least I can use him in my Full Metal Panic reenactments. (is that reference too obscure? Nahh.)

Dual Blade Shield Captain America

Now this figure is awesome. No really. great detailing, nice big shield, spot on his back to hold it, and he can can stand up. Then you get to his special feature:

Dual wielding wrist mounted blades! Sweet! But this does bring up one little problem: A shield that can break in half completely ruins the point of a shield! Still cool though.

Winter Combat Captain America

Captain America with a (as the package says) 'Rocket-Loaded Launcher', a snow board and wearing a coat over his costume. Never thought I'd see that nowadays. But that's not the 'best' part. check out the description on the back:

"CAPTAIN AMERICA will brave the harshest blizzard in order to protect the virtues of justice and truth. With only his snowboard and rocket launcher, CAPTAIN AMERICA is ready to shred down the mountain and destroy any villain that threatens the peace and well-being of his homeland."

Hasbro, I hate to break it to you, but the 90's officially ended in 2002. You can't do XTREME stuff in a non ironic way in this day and age and not expect to made fun of by bloggers who have nothing better to do with there life then ridicule the work of others who are much more successful then them even though they would do anything to be able to spend a day in there shoes. Oh. Uh, nothing. Never mind.... MOVING ON!

Shield Bash Marvel's Odin

Oh man. If you thought Thor had a big sword, you ain't seen nothing yet! Even the hilt is big. So big he can hardly hold it in his hand! And the the shield is so heavy I had to borrow Foul Moudama's stand. (he wasn't using it.) And wait till you see his special feature:

Geez man! Overkill much? Oh, and the spikes on the shield spin. You have outdone yourself Hasbro.

Blaster Armor Thor

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most inappropriate weapon/character theme combination I have ever seen. Thor, the Norse god of thunder, with a missile launching backpack. With two types of projectiles as well.

By the way, nice yellow outfit.

Well that's all for now. Remember Hasbro, I only do this because I love you and want the best for you. Because we all know you need the help of some no name blogger.

Until next time, I'm Dollar Ben, and I need to go clean my wall.

Hey, look at this!

2011-05-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's Indiana Jones riding a unicorn! No I do not have writer's block. Why do you ask?

What did I just watch? Entry 4: Party time!

2011-05-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the most inappropriate musical number ever! From 'Titanic The Legend Goes On,' an all too real Italian movie. It is an animated movie based on the Titanic. With talking animals. And rapping. And an 'They All Lived Happily Every After' ending. On the Titanic. I would say more, but what else can I say? It speaks for itself. If you must see more, The Nostalgia Critic did a review here.
I do want to draw your attention to one line: "If it hadn't been for you I would be now in someone else's digestion." What? Is this some form of the 'All of reality is a dream' belief and he thinks the whole universe is just in some giant beings small intestine?