Two Write Hands (and two left feet)

Revelation

2008-07-04T15:10:45-04:00

I sure am busy. When I explain that I have three jobs and still count myself among the unemployed, is that a reflection on the lousy economy? Or the overachiever in me looking for a little more action? Don't answer that.

The big news is that one of my good friends from college, Lisa Kelly, is running for Lieutenant Governor of Indiana! And she asked me to help manage her campaign. Of course, I accepted. She's just kicking off her campaign with Andy Horning, and I've been working on her news releases. So far, the stories are being picked up here in Indianapolis and on political blogs. You can take a look at the coverage, here, here, here, and here. It's a nice start for a third-party candidate.

Since I started blogging, I've worked very hard to keep Two Write Hands apolitical. Through November, that may change slightly. However, I have no intention of turning this into a purely political blog.

On Children

2008-06-24T17:53:05-04:00

I knew some of you were going to guess that I might be pregnant. I just didn't know so many of you would.

First a little background. For those of you who don't know, before I was Two Write Hands I was the Mad Secretary. I wrote a blog about the woes of clerical work, because I was particularly frustrated with my job as an elementary school secretary. It was the most horrible job ever. Sure a lot of my pain was the result of poor administration and evil parents, but those 734 children in grades K-6 weren't exactly innocent.

I was sick the entire year I worked there. And children don't just spread the common cold, they attack you with stealth mutant viruses that don't have medical names yet. Case in point, for three weeks in January 2005 I had bumps all over the back of my neck (my lymph nodes were the size of golf balls) and red splotches appeared on my skin--but only around my elbows. I was extremely fatigued. My throat was sore. And my entire body was simultaneously chilled and achy. The doctor thought it was mono. Until the test came back negative and he said, "I don't know what the hell you've got."

Oh, and the day that adorable little kindergartner locked himself in the principal's office and screamed for six consecutive hours until we finally reached his mother on her cell phone? I looked at the school social worker, who returned a knowing glance and then said, "If we could bottle our jobs we could make a fortune on birth control. Who needs the Pill?"

So all of that is my way of leading up to this: no, I am not pregnant (or "up the spout" as Ken, my favorite Irish blogger, so delicately put it in the comments of the previous post). I don't even want to be pregnant.

I still like kids, and I still like people who have kids. I adore my nieces and nephews. I love it when my favorite mommy bloggers write about their kids doing adorable, amazing things. I've just been traumatized. And until I recover, I prefer kids that come without the 18-year contract.

So anyway. I promise to write about the news soon, I'm just waiting for a couple of things to link to before I publish the post.

Coming Soon: Big News

2008-06-23T15:47:15-04:00

I have a rather significant announcement to make in the next day or two. Feel free to speculate in the comments about what it might be.

Go on. Don't be shy.

6 Tips for Working in a Mental Health Clinic

2008-06-20T20:42:38-04:00

Some patients are going to freak out when you close the exam room door completely. The half-closed door is a beautiful thing. Use it.
Telly (yes, I do mean the fuchsia monster from Sesame Street) hugs everyone behind the sliding glass window before leaving the office. No exceptions. So don't even pretend you're too cool to be hugged by a stuffed toy.
A paperless office is nice in theory, but lacks a certain something when a) the folks at Comcast shut you down because they applied the last payment to another business's account b) because Comcast shut you down your VoIP phone doesn't work and you'll be conducting most of the day's business on your personal cell phone--because that's just the kind of employee you are--and c) the scanner is in one of its moods.
It will be helpful if you have an answer for the question "That's a nice microwave you have, how much did you pay for it?"
A minority of patients are "abnormal." In fact, most of them are so well-adjusted you will have no choice but to question your own sanity. That's probably healthy.
Don't work for a doctor without a leather sofa. If the doctor has a leather sofa, she probably doesn't accept Medicaid. If she doesn't accept Medicaid your job will be significantly less irritating than mine.

Technical Difficulties

2008-06-10T16:03:39-04:00

<grr>For those souls who--for whatever reason (no judgment here, promise)--prefer to browse the 'net with Internet Explorer, my apologies. I don't know why, but my site seems to crash IE and it's evil step-brother, the AOL integrated browser.

I can't for the life of me figure out why. I've tried systematically removing things from the sidebar to find the problem. And early this morning, I thought I had the problem solved. I was wrong. It's doing it again.

So, if you want to view my site without problems, I'll make a little plug for Firefox.

But because I want it to load for EVERYONE who wants to see it. There's a free book or something in it for the first person who can tell me how to fix it. </grr>