Oh well…

I have been watching the Olympics “Live” during primetime TV in Denver on 9NEWS.  Your coverage from 7pm MST (when the LIVE coverage starts) Says “LIVE” on the screen – the announcers say “LIVE”.  Yet here I sit.  WAITING on the “LIVE” race of Phelps 200m.  Your program tells me “LIVE in 20 minutes”.  I go the NBColympics.com and the results are up!  Phelps won!  So my LIVE is at least an hour delayed.

I knew it was > 1 hour delayed tonight, as last night when people were emailing me the results to the swimming relay – when it hadn’t even happened yet – “I’m watching it LIVE” how do they know the results already (a full hour before it even starts?!?)?

Personally I see NO REASON to delay live coverage in the first place – but then to still CLAIM IT IS LIVE? 

Come on.

My question is WHY can’t I watch it LIVE like the East Coast?  And when you give me the reason, can you include WHY everyone keeps saying it is LIVE??  Maybe I should go make bets with some of my friends…

Chad

Their Reply Below:

“We are not allowed to take the East Coast feed per the network. They are only allowing us to take the Mountain feed which is delayed by one hour. We have asked the network to remove the live bug and we hope to see them do that but as yet we have no word. The network maintains, and the ratings certainly back it up, that running the Olympics 7-11pm regardless of the delay, will give more people the chance to see the events in prime time.

Mark”

Nice.  I have no choice to be able to watch the broadcast feeds live, because NBC Corporate assholes have decided that the western half of the U.S. doesn’t get to watch it LIVE.  Worse yet, they have been lying to everyone telling them it is LIVE.

I am 6′5″ tall, with long legs and broad shoulders. I usually show up 3-4 hours early to my flights, and allow for a huge layover on connections for the SOLE purpose of requesting to be seated in the emergency exit row or bulkhead seating. This is a necessity for me. In a normal airplane seat, my knees are literally impaled in the seat in front of me by over 1 inch. This is extremely uncomfortable, and bordering on intolerable - depending on the duration of the flight.

On my recent trip, I went from Denver to Atlanta, Atlanta to Bonaire, then back. Delta all the way. I managed to show up early enough to get an exit row seat on all of my legs except for one. This one leg was from Denver to Atlanta - Whew! The shortest of the two flights. I ended up having a seat in the row behind the exit row. A guy in the row next to me was probably taller then me by 2 inches. He was a large and intimidating-looking cowboy. Sucks for us! I actually felt really bad for this guy, after watching him try to get into the seat. He was also somewhat overweight, adding to his difficulties.

I could tell he was upset after seeing the people already occupying the exit rows, they were all shorter people - definitely shorter then 6 feet tall. This is upsetting to see people who can comfortably sit in a regular seat, taking an exit row seat (yes, you actually must request the exit row, and agree to some extra things to be seated there). This is, in my opinion, a selfish thing to do.

This is where it gets good. One seat is left in the exit row (directly in front of me) when we are ready to depart the gate. Both me and the other guy are eyeing this extra open seat. I figure, if he goes for it - he can have it. He is worse off then me.

Oh, BUT WAIT! The next to last person to board the stupid airplane is a dwarf. Surely this guy wouldn’t have requested the exit row, so I am getting ready to make my move for the seat. Sure enough, this guy (all 4 feet of him) makes a B-line for the open exit row seat - double-checking his boarding pass before sitting down.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand all of the extra obstacles needing to be taken by “little people” in this world, and respect and even admire them for this fact. But come on, REALLY?!?! Did he really need that seat?

I look over at the guy in the row next to me. He is watching this too, but his face is now red with anger. He starts shuffling in his seat, which causes the seat in front of him to move (almost vigorously) because his knees are so far impaled into it. I actually thought this guy was going to blow up. He wasn’t far from it. He eventually calmed down, and everyone made it to Atlanta just fine.

My rant is this: If you don’t NEED the emergency exit row seat, or your traveling companion doesn’t NEED the emergency exit row seat - THEN DON’T REQUEST THAT SEAT!! Somebody on your flight surely could use it more then you.

Oh - a side-note: if you are short, and do request and get that seat, don’t fucking sit there and tell everyone else in the row how much you LOVE the extra leg room, while sticking your legs straight out from the seat. It really makes tall people want to punch you in the face.

Now don’t get me wrong, advertising ‘pays’ for your free stuff. My websites provide free content, and are funded by advertisements. I have always made it my goal to make sure the advertising is not too intrusive - I block all pop-ups, ads with audio of any sort, etc. I feel that if the advertising is too intrusive, you will drive away your users. Enter TIVO. I’ve heard that TIVO could be the death of free TV programming because you can just skip past the commercials. If stations are losing revenue because of TIVO - then they deserve it. Death of free TV - no. TV stations are using off-set timing of programming to make it harder to record programs. And the battle will rage on.

My plea to the FCC is to regulate this. They are so overly hypersensitive in other areas, why can’t they put a little effort to regulate this? The FCC does address the issue on their website, stating that they DO NOT regulate commercial volume. To their credit, they do provide a ‘tip’ to help those who are irritated - and I quote:

“The ‘Mute’ button on TV remote controls is also useful to ‘blank’ excessively loud audio.”

No shit. I have provided a picture of what this “mute button” thingy looks like on the right. (NOTE: may differ slightly on different remote control devices).

Might I provide the FCC a couple more useful tips that they could add to their list:
1. You can put your index fingers in your ears (Warning: inserting your fingers too far may result in permanent hearing loss. Before trying this please consult your physician.)
2. Leave the room when commercials come on.

Really? I mean REALLY?
Well it seems that the FCC isn’t going to police these ‘out of control’ loud commercials, which is fine, but apparently the TV stations can’t police themselves either.  So as a consumer, I guess we are left to take measures into our own hands.  In my case, I now record all of my programs and fast forward past all of the commercials.

Think you’ll be refunded that $25 when you baggage doesn’t arrive at your destination? Yeah Right.

I have high speed internet. I decided just to try and buy them just to resell (at face value) to actual Colorado Fans.

So I opened coloradorockies.com in a few browsers on several computes and at 10am and tried getting in. WHAT A MESS! The server was overloaded, and crashed. The spokesperson for the Rockies, Jay Alves, blames the issue on a ‘malicious’ hack. Bullshit!! Take the blame you idiot - your (Rockies Organization included) brilliant scheme to open sales to the entire world brought in so much traffic that your servers could not handle the surge. You probably were told by tons of people that an overload was going to happen (or at least there was a very high potential), and you ignored it. Now to try and save face, you blame it on a non-existent malicious hacker. Also, your stupid lying press conferences showed that you - Jay Alves - are a pompass asshole. This was a very frustrating time for the Rockies fans that you alienated, and you got on the news and didn’t give any useful information, at times belittling the reporters asking questions. I just wanted to bitch slap your ugly mug every time you got on T.V.
On the following day they tried the internet thing again, had some more problems, but finally got to selling them. I believe my IP got blocked from accessing the server, and was unable to access the server at all after about 30 minutes.

Good news for the Rockies - they showed the world how NOT to sell World Series tickets. Kind of like how we are unable to solve murders (Jon Benet, Darrent Williams, etc) and like California can’t convict murderers (just fill in the blank here).

Congrats to the entrepreneur scalpers who did get in. Exploiting the stupid decisions made by high-paid Rockies executives will certainly hurt their value in the eyes of the fans.

I travel a few times a year. On each of my last 3 trips, the airline has managed to lose my luggage:

October 2006 - Roatan Honduras - United Airlines and Taca.  Baggage lost for 4 days.
April 2007 - Fiji - American Airlines and Air Pacific.   Baggage lost for 2 days.
October 2007 - Turks & Caicos Islands - Delta Airlines.   Baggage is still lost.

The reports from the US Department of Transportation’s - Bureau of Transportation Statistics (BTS) claim that the incidence of delayed or lost luggage is about 8 incidents for every 1,000 passengers.   So you basically have just under a 1% chance of having lost luggage (BTS Press Release).

Ok, so we were a part of that 1% three times in a row!   Wow!   Can you imagine the possibility?   I am not the greatest at math but I believe that combined probability is roughly P(A) x P(B) x P(C) - or basically 1 in 1,000,000!   Look at those odds!   Some people would say I should buy a lottery ticket - but I’m thinking maybe I should be wearing a helmet around my house 24/7 so I don’t get hit by an asteriod!   In all actuality, I have more then a 10 times greater chance of being struck dead by a bolt of lightning (1 in 83,930: LiveScience).

This is getting out of control.

——————————————

 UPDATE: (This is where inconvenience turns to outright stupidity)
10-21-07, 8:30pm - Delivery man from DELTA just showed up.   He had the wrong bag.   Not the even same color or size of my bag.   Not even close.

The bag had 2 paper tags hanging from the handle.  One was a ‘lost baggage receipt’ printed by Delta’s lost baggage division with my info on  it.

THE OTHER TAG HAD THE REAL OWNERS NAME, ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER ON IT - Written by the actual owner of the bag!  Wonder if they ever thought of calling or delivering to the guy listed as the owner on the tag that is HANGING THE BAG??  Would that be just too obvious?

I am trying to visualize the “investigation process” that took place:
My Bag is Large and Green.
1.  Review lost bag description: Large Green Bag.
2.  Select a small silver and black checkered bag from shelf.
3.  Compare the Lost bag description to the bag taken from shelf - and determine that this is a possible match - as owner of lost bag may have misrepresented or forgotten the size and color of their bag.  Further steps are necessary.
4.  Check for identification tabs on the small bag selected as a possible match.  Read the owner tag hanging off the handle.  Read the other owner tag through the clear window on the bag.  Compare to the lost bag description.  Name, Address and Phone Number written on the info tags on the bag do not match the lost bag. 
5.  Conclusion:  This is definitely the lost bag! (WHAT?!!?)
6.  Next Step:  Deliver this silver and black checkered bag to the person who lost a green bag.
7.  Close Case.

I did call Delta lost baggage division and wasted a bunch of time on the phone speaking to people who could barely speak english to let them know about the mistake.  Needless to say, I am unsure of what was actually accomplished on the phone call.

I am dumbfounded at the stupidity.  So the question remains… “What size of shoe horn is needed?”

——————————————-

UPDATE:
10-22-2007 8:00am.  Hopes and Dreams and Pixie Dust!  Woke up this morning and found that our large green bag was sitting on our doorstep.  I think it fell from the sky, and landed by the front door.  Guess what?  TSA love letter inside.  Common thread of every instance of our lost luggage is the TSA “We searched your bag” note.  I just want to thank the TSA for ensuring safe air travel by taking the all-important step of MAKING SURE THAT MY BAGGAGE DOESN’T EVER ARRIVE ON TIME!

If you are the person who applies their breaks on the highway on-ramp, you deserve a Hummer up your ass! You really shouldn’t be driving anyway. You are a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

Traffic on the highway is traveling at 65mph. If you accelerate to 65mph when entering the highway, you can merge with minimal effort! (Rocket Science?) On the other hand, many choose to coast at a meager 35mph, then realize that there is not a hole large enough to merge into (at this speed), so they hit their breaks, and wave their fists in the air - admonishing those who are whizzing by for not slowing to 35mph to allow them in. Honestly, can you think of ANY scenario where you shouldn’t accelerate to the speed of traffic?

I urge you ‘on-ramp stoppers’ to re-read your driving manual. Much of it is common sense, but hey, it’s impossible to remember ALL of those silly traffic rules, right?

So, stop waving your fist… pull your head out of your ass… put your foot on the gas… and get the f*ck out of my way!

Stupid People!

Arby’s Guy: “Welcome to Arby’s. Would you like a Combo meal?”

Me: “No thanks. Can I get a Grilled Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich…”

Arby’s Guy: “Grilled or Crispy?”

Me: “Uh, Grilled. Can I also get a Jumbo sized diet Dr. Pepper?”

Arby’s Guy: “Would you like to add an order of fries to make it a Combo Meal?”

Me: “Uh, no. Just the sandwich and drink.”

Arby’s Guy: “Would you like a nice warm apple or cherry turnover for dessert?”

Me: “Uh, no. JUST THE SANDWICH AND THE DRINK, please.”

Arby’s Guy: “One Chicken Cordon Bleu Sandwich and a Large Dr. Pepper. That’ll be $6.31 at the window.”

Aw hell, screw it.

This continues a post that was started here. Be sure to read it BEFORE READING THIS POST.

Spammer: “Yes, you did misundertand my intentions. Maybe there should be more instructions on posting “information for sale.” I was trying to post in the Teacher Resource section. I did not consider it spam. Do you have a section for posting items for sale? I visited the Teacher Resource section and it contains references to other websites. How did they get through? I am a teacher trying to help other teachers gain control of their classroom. Is that a crime? Send instructions on posting items for sale. I posted it in the section, but if I did it incorrectly…please correct me. Don’t treat me like a spammer because I am not one!”

Now, this is true - we do have a ‘For Sale’ forum for our ‘trusted members’, but his posts were put in several forums, and again, he is not a ‘trusted member’. His spam was his very first post… and second… and third…

Now it is getting comical. Last night I went out to dinner and then straight to a show, the Trans Siberian Orchestra (Great show by the way). So I did not receive his message above, nor the one below until early this morning…

Spammer: “I see you have not responded. After visiting the site again this morning, I noticed my posting is removed. Why? Is is because it had a link in it? How many postings does a person need to post a link? Or, are links prohibited forever? I want to know the answers to these questions. Under TEACHER RESOURCE MATERIAL, FOR SALE, TEACHER DATING SITE, there is a link in that posting! Do the rules only apply to certain members? I have very little patience for poor service and customer service. Why am I wasting my time trying to explain or understand your policy. Because I hope you are not in business to be out of business. If you respond, then maybe we can fix this matter. If you do not respond, then I want to know who owns this website so I can contact them. I will get to the answers I’m looking for. Several friends of mine are members and are awaiting my findings. They have friends who are waiting to hear my findings also. Be fair to EVERYONE or publish the fact your website is for CERTAIN INDIVIDUALs only!!!”

Ouch. Apparently, I too have nothing else to do. It should be my first priority to engage spammers so that I can retain them as customers to my site. Really? By the way, this guy was not even around long enough after posting to realize that NONE of his postings EVER showed up on our forums. I never ‘removed’ them from viewing; they were never ‘approved’ for viewing. Common behavior from spammers: Post spam, Post spam, Post spam… move on to the next board…

But it is interesting to see how far Stupid People push things… and I am bored today. I reply:

“Mr. XXXX,

I understand that you are upset. Our boards are for people who want to contribute to our community. You signed up solely to advertise your products. I told you this was not allowed - as stated when you signed up. ONLY trusted members of our community are allowed to post links - and this is a ‘newer’ rule, and we have not gone back in the history of our posts to remove past postings. This rule to allow only ‘trusted’ members post links reduces the amount of time I spend removing spam from our site by 99%.

Mr XXXX, there are many, many other teacher forums on the internet that you could spend your time trying to advertise on. But if you are die hard set on advertising on mine, our rates start at $335/day for a small banner ad that would be seen on every page of our site. Larger advertisements may be purchased for up to $600/day. For the small ads that appear in just the message boards, you may purchase them for $100/day.

As for your demands to know who owns the site, well, that would be me. This can be confirmed by a simple Whois lookup.

Regards,

Chad Jensen”

He is also emailing others that work on this site, they are getting emails like:

Spammer: “I would to like to communicate with the owner of this website. I have been blocked due to SPAM! Please have someone in management, ownership or who simply cares about a member terribly upset how he was treated by a moderator to contact me as soon as possible.”

So they are forwarded to me, and so I need to reply, right?:

“Mr XXXX,

I am the owner of this website. You were blocked for several attempts to post links in our forums to advertise your product. Advertising is not permitted in our forums, and links may only be posted by our trusted members. Please see my other email if you are interested in purchasing advertising on our site.

Thank you,

Chad Jensen”

I have not come across one that is so determined to make sure their advertisements show on my pages since the last spammer that threatened to sue me. But again, this post is in the Stupid People category for a reason…

“Spammer: I see there is no reasoning with you. So I will state this one more time. I am new to most of this anyway. If I were truly a spammer, I would not be having several attempts to understand your policy. I would be “caught” and running to other sites to advertise. I can’t afford to advertise, if I could then we would not be having this conversation. I don’t know what spamming is. I simply asked how to do something and how not to make a mistake. Thats it! Your treatment is rude and arrogant! People like you don’t make and I will make sure no other teachers I know use your website. I read some other postings and how those moderators responded. Some responded worst than you, but made sure the person understood how to post without being a spammer. Maybe you should learn from them. I am very upset! Not because you blocked me, but because I tried to respect your policy to the best of my knowledge. It is your reponsibility to make sure all visitors understand your policy without being threatening. You don’t have to block me, I will never visit your site again!

XXXXX XXXX {name removed to protect the stupid}”

Well, he has given me the opportunity to end this conversation, and I am once again getting bored, so I will take this opportunity. Although watching a blind fish bump into the coral over and over may be funny, you can’t sit around and watch it all day…

“Mr. XXXX,

‘I don’t know what spamming is.’ - Unwanted commercial advertising, in the form of email or usenet (or forum) postings.

You are probably correct, my treatment of your actions may be rude and it may be arrogant - but, to be honest, I have no respect for people who attempt to use my website as a means for free advertising. As for my responsiblities, I have absolutely none to you. As for being threatening, I do not recall anyone being threatening except for you: ” and I will make sure no other teachers I know use your website.”

And finally, ‘You don’t have to block me, I will never visit your site again!’ - Well then, my job is now complete.

Regards Mr. XXXX,

Chad Jensen”

Q: How do you piss-off a spammer?

A: Call them a spammer.