t。z。dian

photos from Japan trip

2015-09-14T16:28:00.003-07:00

long time no post

2015-09-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

hey guys.
i've not been posting at all for the past five months
mostly due to my laziness and having someone to share my thoughts with.

to summarize
Chandler and I moved to Ballard.
It looks super homey. there're Ikea furnitures and lots of plants, lots :)
We made a trip to Taiwan and Japan during the summer
it was a blast (I have also finally finished processing the photos I took in Japan, you can take a look of them in the next post).
research's been going not as well.
i have extended my one year masters all the way into fall quarter :(
i just can't get the results with the cells i am using right now (NRVMs)
i did, however, got really nice results with human stem cell derived cardiomyocytes.

anyway, all summer i've been going to the lab. been pretty occupied but at the same time i slept so much.
i wonder if it's the medication.

ok that's the brief summary of my late spring and summer.
i'll update my blog more frequently i promise.

start of spring quarter

2015-04-02T19:48:00.003-07:00

so i did not do anything exciting over the spring break.
stayed home and went to lab.

first week of school went well
i like my advance drug delivery class. no midterm no final just presentation and literature review.
perfect!!
also doing TA for a class the quarter less student so it should not be as bad as the one during autumn quarter. and i'm also getting paid about 14 dollar an hour
research is going well. some cells responded to the stimulation but now i want to wait for NRVM cuz they will definitely respond better than C2C12.

for April fools this is what i did.

bf got fooled.

not related to april fools i also made these paper cranes they're big too. super cute.

updates.

2015-03-23T17:50:00.001-07:00

hey guys, i've been busy with my lab recently.
going to my lab almost everyday...
bf is gone for the week. feeling so lonely...

finished my final last Monday. got my grade back today I got a 87.5. (the highest grade in my class was 93.3; with an average of 76)
and i got a 3.8 for that class :D
it was a fun class. i really enjoyed it

i'm technically on my spring break now but sadly i don't have any exciting plan
oh well. just working in my lab everyday.
cells are doing way better. gonna do electric stimulation sometime this week.
hopefully they'll respond to the stimulation!!

spring quarter starts next monday.
i'm taking one class and also i'm the grade for my professor's class.

have i mentioned that i've been smoking way less!?
the last time I smoked was last wednesday and I only had two cigarettes.
the medication (Wellbutrin) i'm taking is definitely reducing my desire to smoke
also i've been drinking less too.
probably from the medication as well.

sorry for the lack of updates guys

2015-03-07T14:23:00.001-08:00

i've been doing well. there's some ups and downs in my relationship. we are both seeing a couple counseling now which should be really beneficial for both of us.

it's going to be week 10 last week of school.
then i have a final

still working really hard on my thesis.
cells are definitely doing a lot better
but they still did not respond to electric stimulation :(

also i got two cat shirt recently.

pusheen and little gray cat

busy week

2015-02-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

hey guys
sorry i've been super busy with research
have been running back and forth between Foege and SLU
I have two experiment running simultaneously
next week i'm going to start two more experiments
that means there will be four!!!
cells are looking better and better, so I guess i'm doing something right...

had my midterm this monday
i got 80 and the average was 76
so i guess i did well.
could be better though.

also i've been pretty depressed since the past 2 weeks
have been a little dramatic. had some arguments with the bf
went in for my appointment with my doctor and he prescribed me another medication called bupropion damn so many pills
also went in for my appointment with my counselor
we talked about how i can feel better about myself as well as ways to improve my relationship with my bf.

Pessimism

2015-02-03T14:28:00.001-08:00

Today I woke and the first thing I saw was another rejection from my job application

Then my day proceed to be alright.

Went to had lunch then the fire alarm went off so I had to bring my lunch to somewhere else and finish it

Being so productive so far

I hope the rest of the day will go well but I doubt it.

Also I just called our state representative about internet neutrality through tumblr.

Hate corporations.

Also I found these around the campus

That's why I don't care about football or sports in general. They're all just about the money.

week 5: some updates

2015-02-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

got an email back from the company i applied to. they said no.
so i applied 5 positions today (of different companies)
hopefully I would hear some good news in the next few weeks.

stomach wasn't happy for three days since last friday, but it's recovered now.
i guess i have been drinking too much last week. last week was soooooo eventful, i need alcohol to socialize though :(
wednesday was wells, friday was house party, saturday had double date at Umi and party at Q, and Sunday was super bowl.

been very busy with research.
new cells have not been doing well :(
sigh
i'll just keep doing more experiments
hopefully everything would work out.

damn it's week 5 already....

week 3 is almost over

2015-01-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

class is going well. enjoy it a lot.
love taking one class so i have more time and my schedule is a lot more flexible.

lab is going alright.
starting experimenting with another cell type cuz the cells I'm working with right now is being a big bitch.

and guess what? I booked the tickets going to Taiwan this June with my bf!
i'm so excited to show him around where i grew up.
he's also never been to Asia so it will definitely be a fun trip for him.

there're ups and downs in my personal life.
recently, i've been a bit more irritated.

I've started my therapy today with my psychiatrist
I like her a lot and i think we will work really well together
the session today was great. I think i know where a lot of my issues are coming from
because the only source of my social interaction and attention is from my bf. whenever, he's not paying enough attention to me, i feel jealous.
also I've had a twin brother (which is like my best friend) for such a long time, I don't know how to approach other and make friends.
I also have jealous and bitterness issue of others.

today she gave me a task of writing down things that make me unhappy and things that make me happy
and we're going to analyze them together when i meet with her next week.
i hope my therapy will help me to become a better person :)

week 1 is almost over

2015-01-08T16:50:00.001-08:00

so far i've been super productive on my first week of school.
i had a good break so i'm completely ready for this quarter
i'm taking only one class BIOEN 577 cell and protein interaction.
i like it and i'm going to learn so much from the class.

because i'm taking only one class i have so much time to do things i want to do.

have been working in lab too.
gotta get some nice data this quarter or else i'm screwed.

let's see what else...
oh i will also be starting mental therapy soon
i really want to be a happy person... depression is not fun.

oh and i'm slowly working out my schedule
i want to start working out too.

another year passed hello 2015

2014-12-31T18:16:00.002-08:00

looking back, its been an even better year! let's review my resolutions for 2014:

:( 1. yet again, keep gaining weight. keep eating and working out.
comment: I did not work out at all this year. damn it. still too skinny i wanna gain some more muscle

:) 2. make major steps in personal life
comment: yup, I did. I came out to my family (my brother, my mom, and dad) and introduced them to my bf and things went really well really surprisingly.

:) 3. keep up with my good work in lab and school like get more scholarship
comment: yup, i'm in the BS/MS program now. got another scholarship in March or something i think. I've also applied to a job.

:) 4. be a happier person. work on my personal issues like anxiety.
comment: yes, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression. i've been taking medication and trying to learn to be more content.

my 2015 resolutions:
1. yet again, keep gaining weight. keep eating and working out
2. finish my masters degree and find a job
3. keep in touch with my family more (since i've come out and there's no reason to hide)
4. fight depression

watch two more movies

2014-12-17T20:20:00.001-08:00

Primer was so deep. it's from the same director of Upstream Color.

The Congress was a beautiful movie.
I am in love with this movie.

watch two more movies

2014-12-11T14:34:00.000-08:00

i watch two more movies last night

Upstream Color
and
Another Earth

both are them are beautiful.
upstream color is incredibly deep.
another earth is really deep too. they have so much meaning behind what is presented in the film.

I miss chandler so much

2014-12-09T20:29:00.001-08:00

Have been pretty productive. Got some research stuff done also finalized the class grade.

Have been watching a movie every night

I watched Lucy, Melancholia, and Chronicle.

My favorite is Melancholia.

It's just so melancholic I can relate to it so much.

it's December

2014-12-07T21:50:00.001-08:00

oh my gosh guys sorry i've been updating the blog as i used to...
my blog used to be where i talked about my feelings but now i've come out and have a bf
i don't express my feeling on the blog as often

it's been more than a month since my last post.

i've been pretty busy with school, grading stuff, and research.
now i'm pretty much done for the quarter.
now i just have to finalize the grades for my class
the classes i took this quarter were all really interesting.
however, one of them is super difficult (the imaging one).
but i managed to finished the last homework.
the other class was not too bad.

it's fun being a grader. i get to know the students and keep myself busy
(sometimes really busy, like i need to stay at my office until 10 pm to finished grading midterms)
also the students all respect me and i like that :P

research isn't going really well.
my samples were molded.
i need to do another experiment soon but i will be gone during most of the winter break.

i went to Virginia for my bf's godfather's wedding.
i had lots of fun. but got too drunk during the wedding night.... :P

throughout the thanksgiving i went to my bf's house and saw his parents.
it's always good to see his family.
i finished whole bottle of wine one of the night
and managed to finish two bottle another night.
haha i'm such a drinker.

anyway, i've come to enjoy red wine so much. it tastes soon good with cheese.

now my bf is gone for a business trip and i just chilling.
miss him so much already.

FreakNight 2014

2014-11-04T22:46:00.001-08:00

updates

2014-11-02T18:04:00.000-08:00

hey guys sorry i haven't been updating my blog.

not much has been going on.

i'm getting busier with school and research.

went to Portland last weekend for my bf's cousin's wedding.

i like Portland. we drank and partied so much haha

i barely remember what happened on Friday night.

this weekend is Halloween!!

my second favorite holiday of the year.

i dressed up as penguin at day and slutty Elsa from Frozen at night.

saw these Canadian geese on my way to get lunch. I had some good conversations with them.

me as slutty Elsa (not fully exposed haha)

anyway FreakNight was fun. my bf and I went on Friday night.

but then Saturday night got cancelled because someone OD'ed on Molly and died at Friday night

everyone was so disappointed...

anyway. my friends and i went to Q nightclub. it was super packed!!! danced so hard that my shirt was completely soaked with my own sweat.

well i have a midterm tomorrow. so i'll ttyl. gonna study for a little bit.

long time no see guys

2014-10-18T13:04:00.002-07:00

sorry guys i've just been lazy with writing a blog post
everything's going pretty well
the medication i'm taking is making me feeling better i think
school's going well
BIOEN 599 is a hard class
PABIO 551 is a fun class
my TAing is going well too

and also i have start watching how much i drink
cuz it's going a little out of hand recently....
puked very badly on Wednesday...
oops

anyway
this should be a good and pretty busy quarter

freaknight is coming up! can't wait for halloween!!

Dada Land Compound 2014 Seattle video

2014-09-26T13:48:00.001-07:00

i recorded the most exciting parts of the night. enjoy!

Photos form Mt Rainier

2014-09-25T23:45:00.003-07:00

sorry guys it's been a month since i took the photos
here are the best fives
love freelensing. ;)

Dada Land Compound gif

2014-09-25T21:46:00.001-07:00

bannas, one smile, champagne, pillows, and more bananas.

had so much fun at Dada Land.

so far so good

2014-09-25T21:42:00.002-07:00

so far it has been a good week.
i've been doing better and better everyday.
and i've noticed that i've been happier too.

it is mostly like because of my schedule.
since i've only been taking fluoxetine for about 1 week.

school just started on Wednesday
and i've been busy before school started.
i've been working with my boss as the TA of a class and that took me a lot of time.
i also like my classes.
i'm taking a pathobiology class and an x-ray/nuclear imaging bioengineering class.

feels weird to be a graduate student and being around on campus.
i feel... old.

anyway, i think this will be a good school year.
i will be busy with TA, school, and research this quarter.

been doing better

2014-09-17T16:19:00.003-07:00

hey guys i've been doing better
getting out of my depressed mood
been starting to do fun things with my bf
we went partying every Wed and Saturday
we had a lot of fun.
also i have more works to do now

been playing Dead Island with my brother.
we had like tons of fun.
love messing around in the game. it's hilarious.
ramming cars into zombies and shit

also i've started playing Portal 2 with my bf.
love the co-op game.

oh and i'm going to be a TA (kind of but more like a grader) for one of my boss's classes
:)

went to the doctor today for my depression
and got a medication called fluoxetine a type of SSRI
hopefully it's going to make my life more fulfilling
i'm also getting CBT which would help with my low self-esteem.
together the medication and CBT should help me a lot.

i'm actually kind of afraid of "losing myself"
my old melancholic self.
i like being melancholic.
haha oh well we'll see how it goes.

oh and i'm also going to Dada Land this Saturday at WaMu!!!
so excited!!!

happy that i'm feeling better now ;)

found myself on street view lol

2014-09-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

another video that i made today enjoy.

2014-09-06T20:05:00.001-07:00