FRANCIS MAXWELL | Host, Actor, Writer + SOCIAL Activist

@francismaxwell

iTunes: click here.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Courtesy Francis Maxwell IG

Francis Maxwell is a Scottish-born host, actor, writer, and social activist currently residing in the mecca of the entertainment industry, Los Angeles. I first met Francis when he came into the VICE offices to meet with our Sports team. He was (and still is) working as a host for The Young Turks Network and before our meeting commenced, Francis and I got to talking. After years in broadcasting and hosting, I'm well aware of the "on" button personalities in the industry carry, so I was pleased to see that he could enter a room and a conversation, without touching that switch.

My takeaway was this guy can speak on more than just sports. He had an opinion on everything. Sure, there may have been things we didn't agree on but he never talked AT me, as many talking heads do. He listened, then calmly said his on personal take. That is why he's gone on to talk about more than just sports, jumping into the political realm absolutely effortlessly. 

“I WAS A SOCIOLOGY MAJOR IN COLLEGE. I WAS A FOREIGNER. I PLAYED FOOTBALL. I ENJOYED TALKING TO AMERICAN GIRLS. I WAS REALLY CAUGHT UP IN THAT WORLD UNTIL ABOUT MY SENIOR YEAR WHERE I REALLY WAS CONSUMED BY A SOCIOLOGY PROJECT THAT I HAD TO DO THAT LOOKED AT RACE.  I STARTED IN MY OWN TIME TO READ THE LIKES OF JAMES BALDWIN and REALLY START TO FIGURE OUT, WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY THE WAY IT IS. WHY IS IT SO DIFFERENT IN CERTAIN TERMS.

WHY IS RACISM STILL A PROMINENT THING?”

We first saw him intersect sports with politics when NFL player, Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the National Anthem. Of course, this is now a LARGE news story, but at the time, few spoke about the event as passionately and as long as Francis did.

“IT REALLY WAS A COLIN KAEPERNICK TAKING A STANCE AGAINST WHAT HE FELT WAS RACIAL INJUSTICE. IT REALLY INSPIRED ME IN A WAY TO THINK OKAY WHY ARE PEOPLE SO UPSET AT THIS and WHY DO I THINK THAT IT’S SUCH AN INSPIRATIONAL THING TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT IN A COUNTRY THAT LOVES PATRIOTISM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. And WHY HE GOT SUCH BACKLASH. THAT MOMENT IN A WAY, STARTED TO REALLY ENCOURAGE ME TO START MAYBE TO SPEAK OUT A LITTLE MORE ON THINGS I FELT.”

He then started speaking out on the harsh realities of the African American communities and racism in this country as a whole. He, of course, is not a Trump fan (as we can see from the picture above) but again, he doesn't talk AT you. He states his opinion and allows viewers to choose their own personal stance, even if it comes with backlash.

"I DEFINITELY DO FACE A LOT OF BACKLASH. I GET A LOT OF MESSAGES OF SUPPORT FROM PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY, THEY FEEL LIKE IT’S GOOD TO SEE SOMEONE WHO’S WHITE and SPEAK OUT AGAINST INJUSTICE and REALLY LISTEN TO THE PROBLEMS THAT ARE FACING THEM IN THAT COMMUNITY. BUT IT’S OFTEN USED AS A TERM OF INSULT TO ME, THAT I, I WOULD RATHER LIKE HATE ON MY OWN RACE IN A WAY...IT’S A WEIRD CONVOLUTED DISCUSSION AND I’M HAPPY I CAN EXPRESS IT HERE."

There are many layers to this conversation and to Francis as well. As someone who's listening on the other end as people tell their stories, I believe that he is in a pivotal moment in his life. Stepping into the entertainment industry caused a certain type of change in the way he views validation. 

“I WAS MEASURING MYSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE A LOT OF THE TIME. IF SOMEONE ELSE IN A SIMILAR FIELD OR SOMEONE I KNEW WAS DOING WELL, and THEY WERE GETTING MORE LIKES THAN I WAS, or THEIR VIDEOS WERE GETTING BETTER VIEWS, and THEY WERE GETTING CONGRATULATED MORE. THEN I ALMOST FELT LIKE IN ORDER TO VALIDATE MYSELF and TO MAKE MY LIGHT SHINE BRIGHTER, I HAD TO TAKE FROM THEIRS, and BE LIKE. THAT IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT I’VE GOT TO ACHIEVE.

I WAS VALIDATING MY PROGRESS FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S WORK.”

Humility also came into his life spending six days in Uganda filming a story for YouTube.

I USED TO BE ONE OF THE ONES WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE COMING BACK, ‘oh like you’re changed because you went to Africa for five minutes?’ LIKE, YEAH.

I WAS CHANGED WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA FOR SIX DAYS. I CAME BACK WITH MORE OF A BROADER UNDERSTANDING AS TO WHAT I SHOULD START LOOK AT WHEN I FACE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE.”

It's rare to find people in the industry are willing to do the work and are willing to reach a place of humility, self-awareness and personal growth. It's so easy to search for that validation, as Francis mentioned, through social media currency and constant comparison with one's peers. So this conversation is particularly inspiring as it's been wonderful watching his personal evolution from afar. It will be felt when you listen.

And speaking of:

“LISTENING IS DEFINITELY THE MOST POWERFUL TOOL THAT YOU HAVE.

YOU MAY THINK THAT BEAUTY IS MAYBE THE THING, or BLONDE HAIR, or BLUE EYES, or LEGS, ABS, ANYTHING, CAN GET YOU TO THE POINT IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU WANNA GET TO. I THINK THAT IT’S LISTENING and I THINK THAT IT’S LISTENING TO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO and IT’S LISTENING TO OTHERS.”

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Courtesy of Francis Maxwell IG

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• Understanding the Art of Listening

• Moving to Los Angeles from Scotland and the personal and societal transitions encountered

• The lessons-learned by playing soccer / setting the record for most red-cards received

• Using sport as a point of entry into the entertainment industry

• Why he suppressed his inner desires to cover politics 

• Majoring in Sociology in College and his introduction to Race in America and James Baldwin

• How Colin Kaepernick inspired Francis to blend sports + politics in his work

• What it means to live in a post-truth / fake news world

• Why speaking your truth often comes with a lot of backlash

• Why Francis' support for African American communities and racial issues brings about insults on his social media

• Why he feels more like an American now (although he still has love for Scotland)

• Why it's important to understand your country's history

• The difference between listening and speaking your opinion, vs. hearing and speaking your opinion

• Why Millennials aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be (video linked below)

• Why we struggle with validation from others and self-validation

• The dangers of stereotyping and painting groups of people with a broad brushstroke

• The perils of social media

• How Francis' trip to Uganda changed his life (video linked below)

• What he learned in Uganda + why he chose to capture the most vulnerable moments

• Why Los Angeles breeds competition based on social media currency + how to find balance

• Francis' major lessons-learned upon entering the entertainment industry; humility

• Francis' definition of a modern day man + the events which shaped his definition

• Truths, Flaws, and what his younger self would say to him, + more.

Courtesy of Francis Maxwell IG

CONNECT

TWITTER: @francismmaxwell

INSTAGRAM: @francismmaxwell

FACEBOOK: @francismmaxwell

WATCH

on The Young Turks Network

on YouTube

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS?

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The Millennials Video

UGANDA REFUGEE CAMP

WILL REEVE | BROADCASTER + PHILANTHROPIST

@willreeve_

iTunes: click here.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Courtesy of Will Reeve

Will Reeve is the son of Dana and Christopher Reeve. He won't go out of his way to tell you that but if you ask him, he will speak about them in a way which parents can only dream of; with pride, with admiration, and with such tangible detail that they almost seem present in the conversation. 

“The values that they had and that they instilled in me really just set the tone for my life is that you don’t complain, you don’t self-pity, you don’t whine, you don’t ask why me, you just get on with it, you stay committed to whatever you’re doing, you stay determined, you stay loyal to the people who love you and the people that you love, above all else, you have to hold on to hope.”

I, like many, remember Will's father as the man who was once Superman who following a fall while horseback riding, spent nine years as a quadriplegic. There was something about this then that still reverberated now as I was doing my research on Will. I watched a video of Christopher Reeve on the Oprah show and I found myself unbelievably emotional. How could a man have such HOPE beaming out of him when he finds himself in what most would call a hopeless situation.

"He could have just laid in his hospital bed not moving all day and nobody would have faulted him for it. He could have quit. He could’ve given up. But he didn’t. And not only did he not give up he fought every day to get out of that wheelchair. To put pressure on the scientific and political communities to try to find a way to cure spinal cord injury (and his fight lives on through the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation) .”

I continued feeling this way during the entirety of my conversation with Will. To give a bit of context, I met him in New York about 3-4 years ago. I sat across from him at a dinner and thought to myself that he exuded a certain kindness that I don't often come across. He hadn't yet jumped into his current career as a broadcaster but it didn't seem crazy to assume that he'd one day find himself in the industry. Following his slow and steady rise via social media has been wonderful. I know how twisted the industry can be so I was pleasantly surprised to see that he's remained in tact with his kindness. If anything, it exudes on a much bigger level now.

“My whole life it was instilled in me, by my parents, by my famous father and mother, that we’re normal people, we don’t deserve anything more than anybody else, we’re not owed anything, we’re not better than anybody, and you don’t namedrop. You don’t use your name to get ahead.”

This conversation was recorded last week - something that usually doesn't happen with these podcasts as many of them have been recorded months ago and posted at a later time - but I wanted to get this one out there because the world in which we find ourselves is quite confusing, dark, and oftentimes with a feeling of hopelessness. It's hard to see through the forest.

“Hope is the elixir, the antidote, the magic currency that we all, in my family, try to traffic in as much as possible."

Will's story shines a much-needed light on the importance of HOPE during the darkest of times. He made me understand through the lessons he's learned from his parents, that this too shall pass. That although life often gets in the way, it can never strip us of our Hope, our Kindness, and our ability to Love, as long as we choose to stay in tact with this incredibly important human emotion.

"I think that that also , in addition to hope, adaptability is one of the key ingredients to life. I truly believe that if you’re adaptable and can roll with the punches so to speak you will succeed because you can go into any situation and come out okay if not thriving.”

So, I could sit here and write a full expose on this conversation and provide you a heads up on what you'll hear, and learn, and think about Will Reeve, but I'd rather let his voice take you there. He, like all of us, is a flawed individual. But what makes him amazing is that he speaks openly about his flaws and insecurities, something that I feel men (and women) can do a better job of enunciating. There's just much to takeaway from this conversation.

"I have to attribute this quote to my father but it’s something that I live by … it’s what I try to see in myself but I also try to see in other people: I belive in the best possibilities of human beings."

Dana and Christopher Reeve - although I do not personally know you...I feel you through your Son. Thank you for your kindness and selflessness and care for others, and most importantly, thank you for instilling all of your virtues to Will. We need more people like him.

p.s. thank you Will. continue being a rockstar and let's get that 50 Most Eligible Bachelor List moving a bit for you ;)

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Via MSG Networks

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• How to find a positive in a negative situation

• How to deal with circumstances Life inevitably throws your way

• Losing his father at 12 years old 

• Losing his Mother at 13 years old

• How his family, support system, and friends kept him going through the hardest time in his life

• Having parents as role models for people around the World

• Understanding the importance of staying grateful, humble, and hopeful

• Why Hope is the Elixir of Life

• The importance of being the best version of yourself + having awareness that there will be moments of failure

• Why his parents are his North Start in navigating his life

• Why adaptability is one of the most important traits to cultivate + carry

• Insecurities of the entertainment industry

• Proudly standing in the shadow of his last name + why it fuels him to work that much harder

• Why he'd never use his last name to get ahead

• Why working at ESPN has been a dream job

• The importance of sports and what sports can teach us

• Sports as a vessel into society

• His father-son bond and their love of hockey (mostly the New York Rangers)

• Why he wants to carry out his parents legacy

• The benefits of technology: providing access into archival footage of his family

• Will's future and dream job

• Being named the Top 50 Most Eligible Bachelors by Town & Country

• Standing up for what you believe in

• The definition of a Modern Man

• Why his Truth is one of his Father's Truths

• Flaws, flaws, flaws, lessons-learned and questions we still need to ask...

CONNECT

TWITTER: @ReeveWill

INSTAGRAM: @willreeve_

watch

TV: on ESPN

WEBSITE

www.ChristopherReeve.org

Courtesy of Will Reeve

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Available on GooglePlay, Stitcher + Soundcloud

JosH 'Zeke' Thomas | DJ, Music producer + sexual assault survivor

@zeke_thomas

iTunes: click here.

Here's what you need to know.

via @zeke_thomas instagram

Aside from everything else, Josh (as I've known him over the years), or Zeke (as he is now known), is an incredibly kind soul. We've known one another since elementary school. He is the son of legendary NBA player, Isaiah Thomas. I, the daughter of legendary NHL player, Igor Larionov. We had, and still have, a lot in common.

We are grateful for our upbringing but as is commonly heard when growing up in the shadow of A BIG PERSONALITY or STAR, the last name comes with added weight.

"As a kid, the pressures of ‘are you the best basketball player?’. Are you the best athlete because of these genes that you’ve inherited? No, I wasn’t. I was athletic. I was into it. But I wasn’t passionate about it."

"Still today at 29 years old … I get asked by random people: 'so are you good at basketball as your dad?' How is that even possible? Don’t you think if that was true that I would be in the NBA?”

It begs the question of: can one ever feel good enough when they're forever compared to greatness?

“(the genes acquired) overshadowed me. That’s what I felt made me feel not good enough. Now...I”ll never be as big as my dad. God willing maybe it will happen. But you know, I have a successful career as a DJ and a Music Producer, but there was a lot of resentment and anger I had to work through."

Zeke moved to NYC when his Father started working for the New York Knicks. That was his first taste of fame on a different level.

"...moving to New York City with my Dad, I remember getting followed by the New York Post and the NY Daily News, and different newscasters asking me questions, getting my phone number asking questions about (you know) what’s my dad doing? What do you think? Why did he do this? Why did he do that? What’s up with the New York Knicks scandal and all this stuff? And i’m like, i don’t know...it’s like living in a mini-kardashian bubble and that’s not what you signed up for.”

As you can see if you take a gander through Zeke's social media, he has created quite the name for himself in the music industry, as both a DJ and a Music Producer. But in the past year or so, his name was in headlines for a different and devastating reason. 

In 2016, Zeke was drugged while on a date and then raped in his own apartment by a man he met through a dating app. 

“I woke up the next day not remembering anything. Completely blacked out.

Complete no recollection except for bleeding from my anus.”

He spent the following day trying to put the pieces together.

“It’s shock and disbelief. Especially when the person is still there. He was still there. He was about to leave. He was actually like, ‘hey i had a great time’. It was very much what you heard in the majority of the Bill Cosby depositions. It was just like uh, like a, ‘this isn’t real … this didn’t happen’. Then the pain - you feel the pain - and you know what happened. And you’re seeing things. And you’re putting everything together and now you’re trying to remember the night … and you’re like, ‘i didn’t drink. I didn’t take anything. What happened?”

And that's where our stories collide. Josh and I have kept in contact over the years and when I saw him Speaking His Truth on Good Morning America I reached out. 

In this conversation Zeke revelas his history with sexual assault, with one occurrence in his childhood, and then the rape that has made media headlines. We go beyond the details of it and into the emotional aspect of it, better understanding the psychological weight that is added.

As I started to share my own personal experience, I asked him about shame and self-blame.

“I am 100% in agreement with you that I did start to blame myself. I literally felt like every bit of me had been taken away from me. My humanity, almost. I didn’t move. And when I say I didn’t move, I literally mean I didn’t move. I barely went to the bathroom for two days. I was just in bed. Couldn’t move. I was just asleep.

Numb to the world. And then I … I decided to numb myself. And I numbed myself full of drugs and alcohol and I went down that path. It was definitely my way of dealing with it but also it was my way of saying, ‘i don’t want to be here’. It was basically a suicidal path and there was one time where I did try to commit suicide. Because of this incident.”

This conversation is HEAVY. It was hard for me to record it and even harder to listen back. It is as vulnerable, open and honest as they come. There is a ray of light at the end of this dialogue and I give all the credit to Josh. As I said in the beginning, he is an incredibly kind soul, and his Love radiates through this conversation. 

thank you Josh for being you. <3

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via Billboard.com

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• How to ask for and get help after sexual assault

• How to get on the road to recovery

• How to seek medical help

• Doing the work

• Why talking about it helps the recovery process

• The benefits of owning your story

• Why Rape is Rape

• How to Date after Sexual Assault

• How to learn to trust people after Sexual Assault

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS?

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iTunes: click here.

Available on GooglePlay, Stitcher + Soundcloud

FOLLOW ZEKE:

twitter: @zeke_thomas

IG: @zeke_thomas

WATCH + LISTEN TO HIS NEW SINGLE, 'DEALIN' WITH IT'

MELANIE COLLINS | TV HOST + SPORTS BROADCASTER

@melaniecollins

iTunes: click here.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Chances are you've seen Melanie Collins on TV. She's been a TV + Sports Broadcaster for ten years covering a variety of sports on NBATV, The Big Ten Network, NFLonCBS, ESPN, Golf Channel, PGA.com, and has filled in on ESPN's First Take and SportsNation. As any good host, he's dabbled in the entertainment industry too but as you'll hear, her heart is with hockey.

That's how Mel and I first met. It took us a good 6-7 years of a friendship to get to this Podcast conversation and confess that we both looked at one another as the 'girl who had it all'. Women in competition. Unattractive, yet prevalent. We make our peace and discuss why competition is so rampant and heavy amongst women, especially in our industry.

“We have this view of the industry where we look at it through a scarcity lens. Because we’re women and because jobs are so hard to come by already - or we feel that way - we feel that there’s not room for all of us. Especially with the great jobs that we feel will get us the most exposure."

Growing up in State College, PA, Mel grew up around her brothers and sports acted as a way to connect with them. 

“For me - being the only girl in the house - the only way that i could really participate in playing with my brothers was to suit up and go in net and let them shoot on me, or go play tennis with them, or whatever. So, I just kind of .. I began to like sports because it was kind of what I knew. It was the way that I fit in with my brothers."

At the age of 12, Melanie's parents divorced and after two years of moving back and forth between her Mom and Dad's house, she had to face a tough decision.

“It was traumatic when i was young. For the first two years after my parents divorced, i would go to my dad’s house for a week and then i would come back to my mom’s house for a week. I chose to live with my mom and i think my dad from that point kind of took that as i was choosing my mom over him, which sucks when your’e a 14 year old girl. I felt the relationship with my dad kind of fizzle after i chose to live with my mom but i needed it for mental stability. i needed to be in one place and be with my things. And i needed to be with my mom. From that point on, my dad and i kind of grew apart and you know, we still talk to this day but it’s definitely not ...  i never had that like daddy’s girl relationship with my dad that all my friends had and that i always wanted.”

Melanie is tough. One almost has to be thick-skinned in order to survive in this industry. She works hard. She has a no-quit mentality. She's the best of the best. I mean it. I've seen a lot of women come and go in this industry. There are few like Mel. And even fewer who've gone through troubled waters during the early stages of their career, coming out as a survivor.

Dubbed as "The Next Erin Andrews", one day Melanie's agent called to inform her about pictures surfaced on the internet. The 'butt-crack' pictures from college, couple with a bikini photoshoot nearly derailed her career. Every subsequent job interview questioned her integrity:

"It was awful. I remember having to specifically fly to ESPN at one point and explain that photo to higher ups at ESPN and i just thought, how did it get to this point....it’s just like I somehow created this monster...some slutty college girl who shouldn’t be hired because she licks butt cracks and wears a bathing suit.”

I'd be the first (and certainly not the last) to say that these experiences were undeserved, unfair, and unimaginably harsh especially for a woman like Melanie; poised, smart, kind, hard-working, and mindful.

But that is the industry. Further in the conversation, I share my experiences dating a Hockey Player and how that affected my job, my behavior, and future opportunities. NHL, I knock at you. I do not apologize. It's time that things change. Melanie reiterates the statement after losing a job opportunity BECAUSE of her relationship with James Neal.

"An opportunity came up with NHL Network where they were looking for a full time host. I was told you’re our top candidate. It’s yours to lose. We’re stunned by your audition. We’re so excited about you. Here I am thinking I’m getting this job. I get a call about a week later and my agent says, ‘hey you know, unfortunately NHL Network feels that your relationship is an issue and they can’t offer you a job. That’s where my relationship with an athlete in this field has gotten me."

As you'll hear in the intro of the podcast we touch on much more. This was TRULY a breath of fresh air for me. Sure, Mel and I have had these types of conversations off-air but we both felt it was time to start SPEAKING OUT about the inner-workings of this industry. At 30 + 31, we've done the work. We've proven we belong over and over again. We have nothing to hide. With our Truth we want to create the space for the future generation of young women to have equal opportunity, success, and respect in our industry.

So THANK YOU MEL. For being candid, honest, kind, and open-hearted as we weaved through this conversation. Much love to you. xx.

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I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• Why Women Compete (in general + in Mel's industry)

• Working in a male-dominated industry

• Lack of Women supporting other Women in the Industry; looking for dirt on one another, spreading rumors, etc.

• The imposter-syndrome and why Women feel like they constantly have to prove themselves, their worth and that they belong

• Why you can't win in the world of sports broadcasting; there will always be something you "could do" better

• Discussing Megyn Kelly's interview with Erin Andrews

• Cutting off Emotion: in order to succeed in the industry do Women have to act like a Man? (and what does that mean?)

• Why after 10 years in the industry Mel feels desensitized

• Melanie's upbringing:

  • growing up with brothers and surrounded by sports

  • parent's divorce + the negative affects on her childhood

• Why self-discovery, reading and self-evaluating is important for personal growth

• What we can learn from heartbreak and how to recover from things that don't go your way

• Why Mel believes that "everything happens for a reason"

• How the media dubbed her "the next Erin Andrews" and the pitfalls of comparing yourself to another person

• Why she believes she's her own toughest critic

• How Social Media can Negatively Affect the Trajectory of your career:

  • we speak about the Butt Crack Pictures leaked on Deadspin

  • the swimsuit calendar photographs from her college years

  • how to protect yourself from these types of circumstances

  • what she's learned from this particular experience

  • and how to bounce back from it...

• Why it's hard to trust other women in the industry

• Trusting and building a relationship with Charissa Thompson

• The double standard of dating an Athlete in your industry

  • the repercussions of dating an athlete

  • losing a job because of her relationship with James Neal

  • James' reaction to the missed opportunity

  • why + how this needs to change

• The affects on self-esteem, confidence, body image + looks when working in the TV industry

• Women + Labels in the industry:

  • Hot = Stupid

  • Not = Smart

• How Producers have pushed her to change her image/look in order to fit the part

• Truths, Flaws, lessons-learned, (Stinkin' Thinkin')

• Mel's definition of success + happiness

• + so much more....

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS?

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iTunes: click here.

Available on GooglePlay, Stitcher + Soundcloud

FOLLOW MELANIE:

@melanie_collins

VISIT HER WEBSITE:

http://www.melanie-collins.com/

“you can change behaviors and thought process but you can’t change the things that happened in your past.” - Mr. Kevin

iTunes: click here.

This is called Check back with Mr. Kevin.

In the world of child psychology - a lot of times it’s important to check back in with your counselor or your therapist. In fact, i’ll go as far as to say that everyone should take some time to check back in with their therapist. And if you don’t have one then try checking back in with yourself. Be it through writing, mediation, a solo walk, or art - whatever it is that you can use to get back to YOU.

Mr. Kevin and I met while I was working for VICE. I’ve always been fascinated by psychology and the human condition so when when we ended working together, oftentimes our conversations - even those about work - were based on the psychological aspects of the characters and people I was researching, the people in the office, or people around the world. 

At first, I didn’t know about Mr. Kevin’s background... (yes, his nickname should have given it away)

I worked in Children's Mental Health for almost 11 years, in both the Department of Child and Family Services and in private run facilities where I would write treatment plans for the kids, run group sessions and work one on one with the kids to achieve their therapeutic goals. In that time, I worked with children who were diagnosed with bipolar disorder, conduct disorder, schizo effective, autism, aspbergers and more. The majority of the children also suffered from abuse, physical, verbal, emotional and sexual.

I majored in Psychology at the College of Southern Nevada and the University of Reno. Trained in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I have studied meditation for the past 8 years and have been practicing and training as a healer for 5 years now. I will soon start my Reiki healing certification at the beginning of the year.  

Once I understood that his knowledge stemmed from a space of experience and education, I became even more excited by the opportunity to have someone to speak to on the many topics that fill my mind. 

If you worked at VICE, chances are you’d see Kevin and I in a corner discussing the human condition-

or - you might have seen us working on a sports pilot, using the white board in one of the conference rooms to dissect (and I mean…really dissect) the person we were to interview.

Neither of us work for VICE anymore but our friendship remains in tact. and as I navigated my life into Recovery from my eating disorder, Kevin was always an understanding ear because he GOT me beyond the general population.

He and I both believe childhood shapes us into the people that we are today. We love understanding peoples pains and scars and flaws in order to help each individual come a tad bit closer to a feeling of healing.

For Check Back with Mr. Kevin we will be addressing some of the questions both of us ponder - or better yet, Kevin will try to answer my complicated mind - by using the Tell Your Story Podcast episodes as launching points, and then following the natural course of conversation.

This is an experiment . Flawed. of course. But a QUICK listen. So we’ll see how it goes. Take a chance and let us know what you think. xx.a

SUBSCRIBE TO THE TELL YOUR STORY PODCAST HERE.

We love to hear from you, please share your thoughts/concerns/questions/tips/suggestions below.

p.s.

thanks for being you, Kevin. even if that means partaking in snapchat filters with me.

Ally Love | Founder of Love Squad + Brooklyn Nets Host

@ALLYMISSLOVE

iTunes: click here.

Here's What You Need to Know.

Courtesy of Ally Love

I remember vividly the day I met Ally Love. I was walking out of my position as in-arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, and she was walking in. We exchanged a few quick words but not much more than that. As you'll hear in this conversation: there are always two sides to every story.

What I didn't know then is that Ally's electrifying ENERGY is no bullshit. At the age of nine, she faced a life or death situation when she was hit by a car. Her Mother gave her two choices:

"‘Baby girl, you can choose to live or you can choose to die. It’s totally your choice."

Ally chose life. To me, she is the embodiment of the phrase "loves to live". She does so ferociously and unapologetically. The key to her success is her incredible self-awareness and the power she knows she has to maneuver through any situation life throws her way.

“You only have two options: It’s always black or white. There can be some grey stuff in the middle that you can move around, but it’s only to get to the two extremes, where it’s a yes or a no. That kind of dichotomy that you live in. That spectrum that we ALL live in. How we shift around is OUR option.”

Shift. It's an interesting word for someone with bountiful energy whose moved from traditional dance, to becoming a New York Knicks Dancer, to a career in modeling, to hosting (she's still the Host of the Brooklyn Nets), to Peloton Instructor, to Founder of Love Squad, to becoming an entrepreneur and a self-made business owner and brand.

“Like any small business, you work endless hours. Like this morning I got up at 530 just to get ahead of the game. I left my house for an 8 am meeting. And I’m non-stop until 830 tonight. I don’t complain about it. I love what I do. If I can affect more people with encouragement and positivity and somehow literally cheer them on - be their biggest cheerleader in their career and in their personal life - I have all the energy in the world for that.”

Ally is a strong believer in the Rate of Activity vs. the Rate of Production - and we get into her theory. The key is identifying the kind of woman that you are. She's done that and more. This conversation is for anyone who is looking for a guideline on how to find the positive in any negative. It's a source of encouragement. It feels action-packed because of Ally's energy. It's about understanding perspective, one's strengths and one's weaknesses. The difficult to pin-down work/life balance. And it's for anyone who's looking for a cheerleader in their back corner.

“I’ve been going out of my way to empower these women. To let them know - if there's something I can do to help you to find what you’re trying to do or figure it out - let me know. Use me as a resource.”

I'm telling you - Ally's your girl. 

If you get a chance to make it to one of her Speaker Series - DO! The only thing that will come of that is pure goodness. Thanks for being you, Ms. Love. xx

SHARE. SHARE. SHARE. 

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR, PLEASE SHARE THIS CONVERSATION WITH THOSE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE AND BENEFIT FROM IT.

Courtesy of Ally Love

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• The power of + understanding perspective

• Finding your Voice

• Choosing to Live Fully

• Finding a Positive in any Negative

• Understanding your strengths + weaknesses, and how to add that which is missing

• The importance of REAL friends

• Becoming YOU - trusting your gut and making a choice to listen to your body, mind + soul

• Body Dysmorphia + Battling Societal Expectations

• The Power of Being - the affect you have on those around you (make it positive)

• Recognizing fear as vulnerability and making it work to your advantage

• How to get out of your funk / hint: you don't just snap out of it

• The Wave of Emotions in One Day and how to Master the Wave

• How to Maneuver through any situation

• How to Identify your Core

• Releasing Shame for choosing the unexpected path + role

• Feeding your need

• Sexual Objectification + how to Deal with it (a new twist)

• Cat-calling

• The Power of Inclusivity

• How to Cultivate a Brand for yourself

• How to build a business (the power of out-sourcing + delegation)

• Collaborate, NOT Compete

• Empowering Others

• A Love Squad + Speaker Series (what you'll get out of the experience)

• How to Multi-Task // Time Management

• What type of woman are you? // Rate of Activity vs. Rate of Production

• The Power of Releasing Negativity

• Truths, Flaws + much more...

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS?

WE GOT YOU.

iTunes:

Available on GooglePlay, Stitcher + Soundcloud

FOLLOW ally:

@allymisslove

VISIT HER WEBSITE:

www.alovesquad.com

www.allylove.com

Dana Maloney | Good Enough Therapist

@GOODENOUGHTHERAPIST

iTunes: click here.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Courtesy of Dana Maloney

Growing up on the East Coast with a highly achieving older brother, Dana Maloney never felt good enough.

“Oh that’s Dana, his sister - not as smart. That crippled (me) and I think it contributed to the migraines. I didn’t feel good enough and that became ingrained in my belief system.”

She was diagnosed with chronic migraine syndrome which resulted in social anxiety. By the age of 22, her migraines became so bad she spent 90% of her time in bed.

"I tried everything that western medicine had to offer, I was on a million different meds. I had surgeries, injections, hospital stays, inpatient treatments. I felt that my identity was wrapped up in this illness."

Without a light at the end of the tunnel, her husband asked that they make a change. So they moved to California where she would meet a therapist who would challenge her deeply ingrained belief system and response to pain.

"Going to California - it was very progressive - I found this amazing marriage + family therapist. She was unlike any other therapist I’d seen. She said, 'Dana get off those fucking meds. We’re going to start doing something called cognitive behavioral therapy.'”

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy not only saved her but it changed her life. Through the experience of learning this new language, Dana was able to find tools which would help her control some of the pain she was experiencing.

“The truth is, the pain never really went away. It was more about redirecting my attention. I can be in pain, but I control my suffering.”

It was working and because of that she finally saw the light. She found hope. 

Without giving away too much of this conversation, Dana's career trajectory is quite remarkable. Her chance meeting with a therapist named John Kim aka The Angry Therapist, further pushed her into trusting in her own unique skills and beliefs, which eventually led her to becoming a therapist in her own right.

“(John said) you have to lead with your story. Your story is what’s going to make you a good therapist.

You can learn the foundations, you can learn the theories..and you will, but your story is what’s going to make you good.”

To this thought process, she added her own unique approach by choosing to Disrupt the too-clinical, too-expensive therapeutic model.

She called herself and her business: Good Enough Therapist. Beautifully ironic after all the years she saw herself as less than, she stands on the foundation that we all encounter this thought process and feeling.

“We do black and white thinking. Like, I’m all good or I’m all bad. I’m a failure or I’m a success. I should be this or I should be that." 

"A lot of us should all over ourselves."

For me, this was a DREAM conversation. Not only did I learn SO much from Dana, I was able to share some of my deeply painful and personal experiences. She is also a firm believer (as am I) in early emotional intelligence and it's need in the educational system.

“I think an important thing that we can do - at an early age with kids - is to normalize these things. Is to normalize feelings and speaking your feelings. To normalize feeling vulnerable. To encourage them. Theres actually a lot of evidence out there that says that this kind of learning about emotional intelligence, learning about feelings and being vulnerable, affects PERFORMANCE in academia.”

She is an overall BADASS. I feel you'll think this too.

"The more suffering you’ve been through and the more pain, you get that kind of endurance and it doesn’t hit you as hard. They become speed-bumps not roadblocks. 

Life doesn’t exist on a smooth plain. We make progress. We have ups and downs.”

SHARE. SHARE. SHARE. 

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR, PLEASE SHARE THIS CONVERSATION WITH THOSE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE AND BENEFIT FROM IT.

Courtesy of Dana Maloney

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• Why we believe that we're not good enough + how to break this habit

• The tools to start believing in being good enough

• The benefits of cognitive behavioral therapy and why it works

• Non-traditional therapy. The advantages of getting OFF meds

• Why having a chip on your shoulder can be beneficial **

• Pain + Trauma and their ability to manifest into physical ailments

• Practicing KINDNESS on ourselves

• Testing reality: why distortions aren't our truths

• We dive into a lengthy conversation on social anxiety + exposure therapy

  • Also, why illness breeds social anxiety

• Why at times, we can feel like a burden | FULL DISCLOSURE: I get pretty personal about my story here.

• Education System, Therapy for Kids (wait 'til you hear about Kamochi) and why it's important to NORMALIZE feelings

• We speak about neuroplasticity and our amazing brains

• How and Why Dana became a BADASS Therapist **

• The power of Power-Posing

• How + Why Social Media is "fucking with us" and what to do about it

• And then, a pretty big dive into Kim Kardashian + Lena Dunham **

• Plus much more...

** Kim K : you'll know why I'm sharing the picture on the right once you listen to the podcast

**CHIP ON MY SHOULDER Post. Learn more about this here.

** BE A BADASS. Learn more about this here.

B — body language
A — affirmations
D — dialectics
A — aspirations
S — sweat
S — serenity

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS? WE GOT YOU.

iTunes: click here.

Available on GooglePlay, Stitcher + Soundcloud

FOLLOW DANA:

@goodenoughtherapist

VISIT HER WEBSITE:

www.goodenoughtherapist.com

Courtesy of Dana Maloney

@corinnefoxx | Founder of Foxx Tales

iTunes: click here.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Courtesy of Corinne Foxx

Yes, let's just get this out of the way BECAUSE SHE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Corinne is the daughter of Jamie Foxx. Okay. Moving on. I first heard of Corinne when I came across an article she wrote for Refinery29. In it, she used my favorite phrase: speak your truth. As an Ambassador for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, her role does not require her to speak about her own struggles. However, her feeling was one that if she was going to wear her part proudly, she had to be authentic. So she wrote about her truth: her anxiety.

“There are so many stigmas. You don’t want to be called crazy. There (are) stigmas against it. And so I was nervous. You know, I have this great image and everybody thinks very highly of me and i don’t want them to see my weaknesses but I think in showing your weaknesses, you really show your strength. And so, that was a big reason why I decided to do it.”

Which leads me to another article she wrote and warning readers of the pitfalls of fame: the 'world in sheep's clothing' as she calls it.

What I found most interesting about Corinne is that in the age of social media influencers, she is more than just a face and a name. She is SMART. And she knows it. Which is incredible because she chooses to use her platform to talk about important issues from which we could all benefit.

"It’s my first time actually being in the industry and meeting people in the industry and being like, 'oh wow this is what my dad was talking about,' and this is like, you know, the road kind of my dad did not want me to go down. Regardless, it’s still fun and they (influencers) are nice people, but I definitely do think there’s a difference and it does feel kind of isolating sometimes."

Simply put: she's refreshing. And so was this conversation. I hate to sound like an old 30 year old, but for 24 she is way ahead of the game. She's got her head on straight, knows what she wants, and knows how to attain it. With Corinne's pedigree and the environment in which she was raised, one could easily assume otherwise, which is a huge testament to her parents. 

“Both my parents absolutely love and live for what they do and they would never, ever allow me to settle for a job that I did not feel super passionately about. So when I see them and they wake up in the morning so energized to go to work, it fuels them, they come back smiling because they love it so much - that has definitely given me that push to really fight for what I want to do, and not settle for just like ‘ah this job is fine'.

If it’s not amazing, don’t do it.”

She is Intelligence + Beauty. Her confidence contagious and her kindness infectious. Her ability to speak so openly about something that is still plagued with stigmas is brave, inspiring, and immensely important. I am especially impressed by Corinne's ability to grab the reins of her life and to steer in the appropriate direction, even if it takes trial and error. We could all use a boost of her mantra:

“Don’t underestimate the power of what you can do.”

Much love to you C for Speaking Your Truth <3

SHARE. SHARE. SHARE. 

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR, PLEASE SHARE THIS CONVERSATION WITH THOSE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE AND BENEFIT FROM IT.

Courtesy of @corinnefoxx

I DON'T LIKE CHEATERS BUT HERE'S A QUICK CHEAT-SHEET FOR YOU. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• The Truth and Reality of growing up "in the industry"

• The normalcy of her upbringing

• How to read people's intention and energy, and why she's extra cautious

• The importance and privilege of an Education and why she believes that it should be accessible to all people

• The world of Influencers and why it can be isolating and lonely

• The importance of working with socially conscious brands

• Deglamorizing Fame and how to avoid stepping in to the industry for the 'wrong' reasons

• Why it's SO important to share your truth

• Re-framing our minds to understand that there is no such thing as perfect - we all have shit in our lives

• Importance of her work as a NAMI Ambassador

• Deep dive into her Anxiety:

  • how + why it started

  • where + how she asked for help

  • the trials + errors of finding the tools that work best for you

  • the science behind panic attacks

  • the tools that work for her now + treatment

  • finding power in your own ability to help yourself

• Mental Health + it's many stigmas | how can we make a change

• Female Body Image

• Modern Day Feminism + the importance of Women supporting other Women

• Her Mama as her Female Role Model

• Flaws, flaws, flaws

• + more

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS? WE GOT YOU.

iTunes: click here

Soundcloud: click here

Stitcher:

GooglePlay:

@_alyonka

And 

if 

this isn't

a full cirlce moment

i don't know what is.

@_BREAKTHEWEIGHT

iTunes: click here

Soundcloud: click here

Stitcher: click here

Here's what you need to know.

UF Photos

I first met Ricki around 2006. We were both visiting friends at Michigan State University. The first thing I noticed about Ricki was that she was beautiful. In my mind, it seemed as though Ricki had her shit together. She had this sexy raspy voice. She was opinionated and unapologetically herself. She gave off an air like she didn't give a shit about what others thought of her. To me, that was the kind of freedom I could only dream of.

I saw her again around 2014. We were at a house party and started talking about eating issues. I was battling with my own and she was a survivor. She spoke to me about how she found a way to love herself. At that moment, she felt like the only person in the world who understood me. But I wasn't ready to hear her. That's how things work with these things. You're never ready for Recovery, until you're ready for Recovery. 

Ricki was the first person I emailed once I launched this platform. I had followed her through social media, secretly admiring her bravery to speak about the traumas which have shaped her. She wrote about losing her Mother to cancer at a very young age. She wrote about her struggle with anxiety and depression. She wrote about her body and her negative relationship with food.

"I struggled with my body for about 12 years. I went on every single diet, I didn’t go out anymore. I really hated who I was. I would count every calorie. I would work out hours upon the day. My whole entire day was revolved around food and my weight."

She felt heavy - emotionally - so she decided to Break The Weight. And that's what she's all about. That's how her business started. Yes, she will help you lose weight. Yes, she will get you back on track - feeling great about your body and loving yourself, but Ricki is more than that. She digs deeper. As she puts it

"You know, a lot of clients that I work with have tried everything. I’m their last resort."

She's there to change the way we feel about food, by changing how we feel about ourselves. 

"There’s a reason for why I do what I do. I didn’t just make this up because I’m perfect and life is great. I do what I do because I understand that motivation ebb and flows. I know what it’s like to have eating issues. I understand what it’s like to lose someone."

I can't stress enough how important this conversation was to me, and how important it will be to you. It's so much more than our physical weight that weighs us down. I tease her at the end for making our time together feel like a therapy session, but it's true. It was as if a weight was lifted off of me after speaking with Ricki. I think you will feel this too.

SHARE. SHARE. SHARE. 

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR, PLEASE SHARE THIS CONVERSATION WITH THOSE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE AND BENEFIT FROM IT.

Courtesy of Ricki Friedman

I don't like cheaters but here's a quick cheat-sheet for you. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• How she coped with losing her childhood

• How to find yourself as a woman

  • especially one who has suffered tremendous loss at a young age

• How grief manifests in our brains

• How grief manifests in our bodies 

• Skills for overcoming unbearable grief

  • How Ricki found herself by being alone in the wilderness

• The fear of letting anyone in

• The patterns of going for the Emotionally Unavailable Man

• The tools she used to finally achieve SELF-LOVE

• How to hit rock bottom again, and again, and to pick yourself up quicker

• How Break The Weight started | The Lulu story

  • Loosing 100 pounds of physical + emotional weight

• How she found her purpose

• Why 10,000 steps can change your life

• Why her weight loss program is successful

  • and why it's different than others

• Why it's taboo to "want to look good" and how to break that

• The importance of learning to LISTEN to your body

• and more...

FOLLOW RICKI:

@_breaktheweight

VISIT HER WEBSITE:

www.breaktheweight.com

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS? WE GOT YOU.

iTunes: click here

Soundcloud: click here

Sticher: click here

SARAH LEVEY | CO-FOUNDER Y-7 STUDIO

@SARAH_LEVEY @Y7STUDIO

iTunes: click here

Soundcloud: click here

Stitcher: click here

Here's what you need to know

Courtesy of UF

Sarah and I met when she was still Sarah Larson.

We both attended Detroit Country Day School in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan - we both admit that we were raised in an affluent and privileged community which gave us a warped sense of the realities of the world.

When we were in high school, Sarah was a year older than me and a 'cool girl'. I remember that I didn't feel 'cool enough' to be in the midst of her circle of friends.

"I definitely fell into the category of not the nicest in high school and it’s something that i’m definitely not proud of. I was so insecure and that was my number one defense mechanism, to point to other people before they could point to my flaws."

So when I found myself writing her an email asking if she would be a guest on my podcast, I immediately went back to my 15 year old self, and started feeling fearful that she would deem my initiative child's play, and would turn me down.

In fact, my self-esteem was (is?) so low, that I figured she wouldn't respond at all. That couldn't be further from the truth. She responded with an immediate yes - which resulted in my feeling like a total asshole - and once we connected on Skype, it was as if the silly insecurity I felt in high school, no longer existed. She is a true badass and a kind woman.

"Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. 

It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you."

If you haven't realized already, she opened Y-7 Studios aka "The Original Hip Hop Yoga Studio" with her husband Mason, which now has five locations in New York and one in Los Angeles...and they're growing. Forbes named her a 'millennial CEO', which we discussed at length, while I dissected her thoughts on what it takes to be a female entrepreneur. There's a lot to learn here for anyone who is looking to start their own business, or needs that extra boost of confidence to stand firmly behind whatever idea they're looking to push. 

Beyond business, this conversation is important because we dive into the importance of self-awareness and personal growth. Sarah talks of how she evolved from being a woman who used to take every piece of criticism to her core, to a woman who speaks her truth and champions flaws, most importantly, encouraging other women along the way.

share. share. share. 

If you like what you hear, please share this conversation with those who would appreciate and benefit from it.

Courtesy of MissBish.com

I don't like cheaters but here's a quick cheat-sheet for you. 

YOUR SUGGESTED TAKEAWAYS + LESSONS:

• the tools + skills you'll need to start a business

• how to find your own voice to make changes to those things which no longer serve you

• why competition amongst women sets us back + how to change your perspective on this, if you find yourself competing with others

• why she champions women

• finding balance in a relationship

  • deep communication is the key to a healthy marriage, especially when your life partner is also your business partner.

• why she feels that the word millennial is a compliment

• how to create a brand that works and feels authentic

• how + why Y-7 started, what makes it work, what she's learned along the way, and the one thing that is still the hardest part of the business to get right

• proper education vs. life education

• flaws, flaws, flaws and why she champions her flaws

• body image

• why it's important to support other women

• + much more

HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THE WAY YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PODCASTS?

WE GOT YOU.

iTunes: click here

Soundcloud: click here

Stitcher: click here

connect with sarah:

@sarah_levey

VISIT Y-7 STUDIO:

www.y-7studio.com

Steeped in her belief of not being good enough, her workaholic tendencies left her unbalanced in all aspects of her life. She was stripped of her family + friends, her femininity, her authenticity and her voice. So she embarked on a journey to find herself.

In an attempt to reconnect with the women in her life, she launched The Untitled Female Project, an online open forum where women can explore the essential and universal questions of gender, identity, and the human condition. However, what she discovered soon after launching the project was just how deeply these questions affected all people--not just women. 

Through the Tell Your Story Podcast, Alyonka encourages her guests to #TellYourStory, #SpeakYourTruth, and #ChampionFlaws. Through these intimate, unfiltered conversations, she hopes to uncover her guests' experiences, successes, and failures that will encourage others to live their own authentic lives, and to create awareness that there is a lesson in every story.