Uh, Duh? Funny & Ridiculous

Super Friends: (The Legendary Super Powers Show/Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians)

2016-01-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

Season 6: 1981-82

5(C) Colossus: Apache Chief grows to the size of Colossus to fight in space. His huge feet should have destroyed a good portion of the Earth before he managed to float in space.

Season 7 (the lost season): 1983

2(B) Two Gleeks are Deadlier Than One: Jayna and Zan put in charge of security during the night? That should have been a dead giveaway to villains that the Justice League wasn't serious about security because they weren't really meeting but android doubles instead.

3(B) Invasion of the Space Dolls: And I thought it was bad if my phone or computer ran out of juice.

Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show Season 8: 1984-1985

1(A)&(B) The Bride of Darkseid: Man, Darkseid's got a serious hard-on for Wonder Woman.

2(A) The Wrath of Brainiac: So much so that he'd follow an android Wonder Woman right into Brainiac's star-ship.

2(B) Reflections in Crime: The 6th dimension: the dimension behind mirrors. Finally, a dimension nearly as bad the 5th dimension that spawned Mr. Mxyzptlk. Firestorm staring into mirror: Man, this workout is really starting to make a difference, I look just like Superman!

3(A) No Honor Among Thieves: A ticked-off Darkseid stealing your newly stolen powers and landing you in prison stripes... that's what Lex Luthor gets for disrupting Darkseid's quiet time on Apokolips. Maybe Darkseid was daydreaming about Wonder Woman?

5(A)&(B) Darkseid’s Golden Trap: Gold kryptonite can permanently strip away all of the powers that Superman enjoys on Earth? How would anyone know? There's only the one Superman to test it on and obviously, no one has.

8(A) The Village of Lost Souls: As an ice block, Zan traps Wonder Woman. A heck of a way to feel her up.

The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians Season 9: 1985-1986

3 The Darkseid Deception: Darkseid rearranged his molecular structure in order to impersonate Steve Trevor for Wonder Woman? Creepy obsessed.

8 The Death of Superman: If Superman is still alive, why has he allowed the other Team members to fall into Darkseid's clutches? Seriously, he's nearly dead and greener than Green Lantern's ring, the question is how could he stop it? Give him a minute, people. Or, you know, save yourselves.

Who Wants to be a Princess?

2016-01-15T13:38:00.000-08:00

Sure, they're privileged, eat the finest foods, wear the chicest gowns, can order the best entertainments, and have servants attend to their every need. They get to marry princes, become queens and occupy prime real estate. Not bad, if you like that sort of thing.

Not me. Those gowns are usually huge, probably heavy, and can't be easy to move in. The dances are lame, and see above about dresses. The decorum and expectations are suffocating. They have servants and subjects and yes men, but likely no real friends.

The princes? Very limited dating pool. In real life, not particularly handsome overall. And some of the time, an arranged marriage. Most don't even get to become king -- that would be their, usually, oldest brother -- so no queenship for you. And don't get me started on the internarrying in such a small pool of acceptable royal matches. Even if you do get to be queen, you'll usually come second to the King. See Mary, queen of Scots to King Francis in Reign.

The castles? Drafty with all the open holes for windows. Dark and dank with secret passageways where assasins may hide. Servants lurking everywhere who will see and overhear everything.

You get to be the helpless target kidnapped for ransom. A pawn for political intrigue. The damsel in distress in a restrictive dress. Unless...

You're the exception. Elsa with magical powers in Frozen. Merida disobeying parents to teach herself useful skills in Brave. Belle of Beauty and the Beast didn't sit idle but filled herself with knowledge which is, after all, power. Fairy princesses with inherent magic. Amazon queens like Gabrielle of Xena: Warrior Princess where they have no men anyway.

Xena herself, a warrior princess. This woman has killed demons and monsters and gods. No one can tell her what to do, how to behave, who to marry. If anything, I'd prefer to be a warrior princess. But then there'd be plenty of people wanting to kill you... so maybe not.

(World's Greatest) Super Friends Seasons 4 & 5

2016-01-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

The World's Greatest Super Friends Season 4: 1979-1980

1 Rub Three Times for Disaster: If that title weren't enough... Superman would save everyone a lot of trouble by superspeed snatching stuff away from bad guys first and confronting them later. The bad guy worked so hard to get the lamp, why leave it behind in the end?

2 Lex Luthor Strikes Back: How many times can Lex Luthor, SUPerGENius, do something dumb to screw up the world, requiring the Super Friends to once again save it? Why does it take an hour for the molten metal to pour over Wonder Woman and Aquaman? Why is Aquaman holding his tits? Sun creatures that can melt fireproof material should laugh at water.

5 Universe of Evil: Nitrogen + heat vision + water = Kryptonic acid. Well, geez, if that's all it takes... Duh, always bring Kryptonite to fight an evil Superman. Would a really powerful villian try to talk you into something when they can force you?

6 Terror at 20,000 Fathoms: Nimoy needed three missiles for his plan but used one just for a demonstration to the United Nations. Did he decide he didn't want Africa, South America, or Antarctica? What's the point of a museum for one? Ejecting Robin, LOL!

7 The Super Friends Meet Frankenstein: The monster had done nothing but stand when his creator called him more powerful than imagined. Maybe his previous creations were too weak to do anything but lie there? Needing Robin to save the most powerful Super Friends? They're doomed! Getting the lousy remnants of their power to fight the superpowered monster who has the majority of their power? Robin's doomed!

8 The Planet of Oz: Aquaman to jellyfish: "Coat me in goo!" Jellyfish to Aquaman: "I don't know what kind of kink you're into, but OK." Wonder Woman lost her powers. Superman said he lost his too but managed to use them three separate times. Sigh, even Oz and powers manage to be chauvinistic.

Super Friends Season 5: 1980-81

1(A) Bigfoot: Seriously, ask for help instead of terrorizing the locals!

3(B) Rock and Roll Space Bandits: Cheesy wannabe 80's rock, about as far from hypnotic music as I've ever heard.

3(C) Elevator to Nowhere: Wow, dude, seriously. Just ask them to test out the time machine instead of tricking them into it. They like to help advance science. And they tested that other guy's time ma-. Ohhh, is that why you didn't want to ask? Or you could just buy a working time machine off one of the countless others who built machines that work.

4(C) The Incredible Crude Oil Monster: Aquaman using a net to contain oil? No one ever called him a mental giant. It's just all about his vaunted aquatic telepathy.

Chinese Movies & TV: Wailing Unfit For a Baby

2015-12-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

Talk. About. Overacting. William Shatner has nothing on these people. With all the rapid-fire yapping, they could at least inject sincerity into one out of every 100 lines or so.

Seriously, the crying's horrendous -- loud, hideous, grating, endless -- enough to embarass a newborn baby. Oh, as for the screaming ninnies, horror movie scream queens have nothing on them. By the way, plenty of this crying and screaming comes from Grown Men. Man up, dudes!

They've got music ripped from westerns and one movie even ripped melodies straight from Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Is that something lame happening to the tune of epic music? Oh, the sacrilege!

Montages of romantic fighting scenes: Yes, really. And no, not hot and heavy sweaty-bodies-pressed-together stuff. Slow motion fully-clothed, flying through the air to clash swords in a field of flowers stuff. And sometimes flying past each other.

Beyond disturbing: Man leaping around articulated like a frog. Spark from fireworks hits old man in the eye for an instant kill. Man wailing like a baby for half the movie (and a good half the movie's dialogue; it was a lady's name).

RIdiculously Yummy: TAZO® Chai

2015-12-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

Tazo makes some of the most delicious teas on Earth. Their chais are equally yummy. TAZO® brings together the best ingredients from across the globe to honor this ancient tradition. Sweet cinnamon and creamy vanilla meet spicy black pepper, fragrant cardamom and bold star anise in this unforgettable beverage.

Now you can Save up to $2 off! http://h5.sml360.com/-/1nzxr

The lovely folks at Tazo let me try these for free. Each flavor is warm soothing yumminess:
chai chocolate
chai vanilla caramel
chai pumpkin spice
chai classic

All-New Super Friends Hour/Challenge of the Super Friends

2015-12-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

The All-New Super Friends Hour (1977) Season 2

They got tired of all the extra padding to make hour-long episodes. Yay! They made tiny segments with super cheesy code words and stuff. Boo!

In a safety segment, Wonder Woman lands her invisible plane mid-city to congratulate a kid for using the crosswalk.

5(C) Super Friends vs. Super Friends: Aquaman disappears mid-incoming message but reappears instantly after. Snuck off for a quick break?

Challenge of the Super Friends 1978-1979 Season 3

4(A) The Time Trap: In 70,000,000 B.C., the stuff in South Africa's diamond mines probably weren't even diamonds yet.

7(B) The Beasts Are Coming: Radiation changed Wonder Woman into a rampaging monster outside a military base near the desert. So basically she Hulked out near a base that looks a lot like General Thunderbolt Ross'.

8(A) Secret Origins of the Super Friends: Flash running back and forth through time? OK. Batman and Robin plus Black Vulcan having unexplained methods of time travel? Convenient. Hal Jordan just deciding to call himself Green Lantern? Ermmm... the Guardias on Oa must have had The green ring changing Luthor? Do the rings work for the unchosen?

8(B) Terror from the Phantom Zone: Ew, Jayna licked Zan to deactivate! Er, line the Supermobile with lead already. What's the point of Superman having a vehicle that does less than he can do by himself? It should at least protect him.

9(B) The Anti-Matter Monster: It sucks in oil with its crotch! Someone needs to teach the Wonder Twins about timing. It takes less time to dive out of the way than to use their Exxor powers to change.

13(B) Batman Dead or Alive: The water rose too fast for two hours (cue Scooby Doo physics). The Kryptonite cell had no floor so why not toss off the cage? The Wonder Twins deactivated without touching. You mean, they could do this the whole time? That would have come in so handy all those times they got locked in cages or whatnot. Then again, maybe they touched when we weren't looking; their ropes were tied differently later in the episode!

15(A) Super Friends: Rest in Peace: Anything could have killed Batman since he's human with no superpowers. As for this Noxium, it must be really powerful stuff. Really, they have a museum right in their headquarters where they also keep sensitive equipment and information? No one's ever in the establishing outdoor shots of the Hall so the museum must be very unpopular. No one bothered checking their pulses to see if they were still alive. Look, Mommy, Superman's sleeping! Their backup heroes need a lot more training.

15(B) Journey Through Inner Space: An infrared outline of Aquaman when he had a completely different physical shape? If it were that easy, science would have detected auras ages ago. Why not inject the shrunken heroes closer to the brain so the journey wouldn't take so long? Unless they were really hoping that they might not have enough time to save him... Wonder Woman was safe in the ship but over the radio, she sounds strained. Pretending she was doing the hard stuff?

16(A) History Of Doom: Luthor's pretty dumb for a genius. Massive solar flares destroy pretty everything like the ecosystems that sustain all human life, which includes bad guys. Couldn't the Super Friends go back in time and fix it themselves? They had at least three ways to time travel in a previous episode.

16(B) The Rise and Fall of the Super Friends: The department store was going to be demolished anyway, why bother going in to save anything? Revenge of Robin? LOL! A place of lots of books, how'd they guess Gotham City library versus Metropolis City Library or countless others?

Vampires Love Jailbait

2015-11-20T17:00:00.000-08:00

Pretty much everyone prefers beauty, and of course, beauty's in the eye of the beholder and all that. The younger you start out with someone, the longer you get to bask in their beauty. Just guessing why it is that vampires generally love jailbait (I'm looking at you Edward Cullen of the Twilight Saga to your emo Bella Swan).

To be fair, this also applies to other immortal or long-lived types and not to the ones who prefer more mature adults (see Detective Nick Knight and Dr. Natalie Lambert of Forever Knight or Dr. Henry Morgan and Detective Jo Martinez on Forever). Some, of course, prefer comely younger women who are at least still adults (Dracula to Mina Murray, Bill Compton and Eric Northman to Sookie Stackhouse in the novels and True Blood, or Klaus Michaelson to Camille O'Connell on The Originals).

Yes, some vampires/immortals look like teens or young men but they're really hundred(s) or thousand(s) of years old. And generally, they go after teenaged girls which technically makes them creepy/dirty extremely senior citizens (eh-hem, Damon and Stefan Salvatore to Elena Gilbert of The Vampire Diaries, or Kol Michaelson to Davina Claire on The Originals). Sure, teen boys are usually soooo immature and there's something to be said about experience, but 100's or 1000's of years is a LOT of experience. Let's not forget angels like Bishop to Samantha in Michelle Rowen’s Nightwatchers series. Occasionally, some old girls get in on the act (see vampire Victoria and Aden in Gena Showalter's Intertwined series where there's also werewolf Riley and Mary Ann).

Other possibilities: Maybe these vampires are eternal manchildren. Or it really takes these guys 100's or 1000's of years to mature to the level of teenage girls (which is either an individual thing or a commentary on guys in general).

At least a few vampires actually don't live long lives and age more or less like humans so this whole thing doesn't apply. See Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy and Bloodlines series. Melissa de la Cruz's Blue Bloods series.

There's probably a ton more stories I haven't read yet and shows/movies I haven't seen yet. Please feel free to send some my way if you like. You know, just to prove me wrong / get my commentary / share because you're so awesomely nice or for any other reason at all.

Ridiculously Awesome: Apple & Eve Organic Juices

2015-10-26T10:34:00.001-07:00

Apple & Eve Organic juices are ridiculously awesome 100% organic products. The folks were nice enough to send me some free samples to try which were a hit in my household. Delicious!

Try them in yours. Here's a coupon http://bit.ly/1V5QpXj so go get some now!

Apple & Eve Organics are simple, pure and delicious. Using only the finest organically grown fruits, it’s just how nature intended juice to be. They are good for you, and good for our planet.

They come in multiserve bottles:
Apple & Eve Organics Cranberry Blueberry
Apple & Eve Organics Natural Style Apple 100% Juice
Apple & Eve Organics Orange Pineapple 100% Juice
Apple & Eve Organics Tart Cherry

And juice boxes:
Apple & Eve Organics 100% Apple Juice
Apple & Eve Organics Fruit Punch
Apple & Eve Organics Grape 100% Juice

Apple & Eve Organic Quenchers were created to satisfy your kids’ thirst for the good stuff. Every one of these yummy, refreshing juice drinks is sweetened with real fruit, so they have the great taste kids love with 50% less sugar than the leading regular juices and 100% vitamin C.

Comes in juice boxes of these delicious varieties:
Apple & Eve Organic Quenchers Berrylicious Lemonade
Apple & Eve Organic Quenchers Fruit Punch Burst
Apple & Eve Organic Quenchers Razzberry Apple Splash

Cream Me, Baby. Er, I Mean, My Coffee...

2015-10-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

Once I got my first sip of flavored liquid creamer, the plain powdered stuff might as well have turned into a spoonful of flour, a fine base for making something that wasn't coffee. Coffeemate original flavor? No, thank you. What is original flavor anyway?

Now Coffeemate's regular line of flavored liquid creamers? They have an impressively wide variety, only some of which work. You can taste a nasty tang in the others that make one long for a spoonful of flour. No wonder, given the long list of fake ingredients. Cinnamon anything is the worst and coconut the best. Pretty much all of it is artificial flavors.

By contrast, Coffeemate's Natural Bliss line with limited flavor variety: yum! International Delight makes richer and sweeter creamer with a fraction of the flavors of Coffeemate's regular line. Bailey's makes some of the richest and creamiest creamer with real dairy in a number of decadent flavors. And Dunkin' Donuts limited selection taste pretty good courtesy of International Delight.

Too bad none of the lines' Irish Cream is quite Irish enough and certainly won't make anyone tipsy. Not that you'd want such a thing when mainlining 20 cups in the morning or at work. Or maybe you do.

Now I just have to stalk excessive amounts of the shelf-stable stuff on Amazon.com. And the delicious flavored syrups used in coffee shops. But maybe that's just too deep an artificial flavor rabbit hole...

Super Friends Super Funnies!

2015-10-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

TroublAlert: Where are these amazing cameras that somehow managed to find a tiny UFO? And show some random farmers. And show tons of things where cameras aren't installed. Man, Wayne Tech is goooood.

Marvin or Super Marvin - Less super (and dumber) than the dog. Except for one miswritten segment where they seemed to have switched his and Wendy's lines just to give him a chance. I guess his superleap

How'd he get selected for junior Superfriend membership anyway? No other eager, non-evil kids within biking distance of Super Friends HQ? Maybe he came as a package deal with Wonder Dog? Maybe he's one of the few people avid enough to visit the museum at the Hall of Justice. I mean, the grounds around the building are always deserted so they can't have many visitors.

Super Marvin + Wonder Dog = cheesier Shaggy and Scooby Doo only not quite as hungry. Wonder Dog even utters: "Ruh roh!" at one point. Stop stealing Scooby's shtick!

Robin: Holy idiots, Batman! Really, Robin's barely smarter than Marvin. It's a wonder he isn't a junior Superfriend too. Batman must have doubts as well, having to tell him, "Good job!" for a routine landing on a transom. Or scolding him to, "Keep off the grass" because they must obey all laws and signs everywhere, even if Robin fell on the grass by accident.

Colonel Wilcox, their government emergency liaison, uses a microphone a la TV news reporter. One episode, he changes to a nicer uniform. The very next episode, he gets mysteriously replaced by a younger model who is still called Colonel Wilcox. A la trading in for a younger wife. Is it his son? A nephew? Did he take a much-needed rejuvenating vacation? How can I book that vacation?

Wonder Twins: Oooo, I'm just a kid and can directly call for a superhero! Oh, no, wait, they're just junior heroes and not even cool superheroes for hire like Luke Cage or Iron Fist.

Zan gets carried around in a bucket by a monkey carried in turn by his sister, Jayna. Definitely not cool. Speaking of the bucket, where does Gleek keep it, under his cape?

Zan's lame power to turn into forms of water: Ice isn't strong enough to be used as a hammer or bolt cutter or whatever. They tried to make him cooler as ice rockets and such but what was the propulsion system, farting? Those are some fiery farts. Use for mopping should make him filthy. Where does he get the powder to make himself gelatin, carrying around Jell-O? Gleek: "Mmm, lime..."

Aquaman: Summons sword-fish to cut him out of ice or ships which they'd probably break themselves trying. Makes swordfish act as knitting needles to knit weak seaweed nets. Orders blowfish to blow air like bellows. Forces giant whales to push things which are probably too heavy. Rides giant seahorses. Insists manta rays plug up jagged holes in ships on which they could cut themselves. Way to treat your friends/subjects, King of the Sea.

Moving the Earth: Several times, Superman or Green Lantern move the Earth. Never shown are what should be catastrophic, apocalyptic consequences. Scooby Doo physics at work.

Inventing shrink rays: How many times can a shrink ray be invented? At least three times on the Super Friends' watch! It's no longer inventing after the first time, just copying. Or trending, to put it nicely. That goes for you too, Lex Luthor.wasn't too bad though, if cartoonishly unrealistic.

Not So Premium

2015-09-26T14:14:00.002-07:00

Lindt Excellence bars: they're kind of expensive but I got them on sale. When fruit pieces have their own sub-list of ingredients, you know you're in trouble. I expect that from certain cereals (strawberry pieces made of cranberry pieces, grains, flavoring, and artificial colors?) but not from so-called premium products. The Lindt bars can also have artificial and natural flavors. But their White Chocolate Coconut is yummy and all the flavors delicious overall!

Magnum bars have maybe two or three almonds worth of tiny pieces spread thinly on a chocolate-dipped crust. That's not almonds, that's almondey, like inferior quantity of chocolate has to be called chocolatey. The Gold is a fakey yellow.

The Adventures of Superboy 1966

2015-08-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

I know Up! and Down! Just get on with it already!

Krypto's smarter than Clark. Really.

The Deep Sea Dragon - Because a cage with widely spaced bars will keep pirates from stealing the egg again.

The Visitor from the Earth's Core - An egg again! Krypto knows.

The Capricious Crony and King Superboy - Let Krypto play with his friends!

A Devil of a Time - Because crooks will really turn down the world's largest diamond.

The Neanderthal Caveman Caper - Really, a Neanderthal is strong enough to give Superboy trouble? Seems like a lot of trouble for nothing to trsin the guy.

The Terrible Trio - Bullies beware. Superboy will make your wishes come true (not!).

Superboy Meets Mighty Lad - As if Mighty Lad couldn't have used his tech to do actual good instead of pretending to show up Superboy.

The Great Kryptonite Caper - So that's where Lana's Kryptonite necklace on Smallville came from!

The New Adventures of Superman: 1966 - 1970

You can find the The Adventures of Superboy as segments on The New Adventures of Superman: 1966 - 1970 DVD set.

Ridiculously Awesome: Chobani Pineapple Yogurt (Plus Other Greek Yogurts)

2015-08-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Don't stir it! Just try a thick chunk of the yogurt by itself. To me, it tastes like a rich cream cheese of the most delicious kind. Now get in a spoonful of sweet pineapple goodness. OK, now you can stir. Or not, and switch back and forth like I do. It's the lazy way, besides, you can mix it to taste in your mouth.

Chobani Low Fat Apricot Greek Yogurt, 5.3 Ounce -- 12 per case (Not pineapple but still yum!)

Chobani has plenty of other unique flavors you won't find from other brands.

In recent commercials, people preferred the newest formulation of Yoplait Greek. I've had previous generations of the stuff: too chalky, too sour, too bland. Then I had the newest variation: too sweet. Yoplait products tend to have some of the highest sugar contents of any yogurts and their latest Greek is no exception.

A quick review of other Greek yogurt brands:
Stonyfield Oikos: delish!
Fage: super tart yogurt but the best fruity sauciness, good combined

Would love to try all the brands. Will take any coupons and samples. ;) Can't get enough of fruit, calcium and protein in a convenient snackable package.

The New Adventures of Superman 1966: Lois is innocent! part 2

2015-07-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

The New Adventures of Superman: 1966 - 1970

The Halyah of the Himalayas - The radio announcer pronounces it HiMA-liuhs, interesting take. Superman takes out the bridge under the creature's feet and it falls a loooong way to the bottom. It could have broken its back! There's got to be a gentler way to put it to bed. I thought Superman doesn't kill.

Can A Luthor Change His Spots? - Would you let an evil genius who continually targets you as Superman's friends set up a lab in your building? Isn't it suspicious for him to install water coolers when he's only supposed to be a science advisor? That ink remover must be expensive stuff since Jimmy uses a tiny paintbrush with it to remove the massive amount of Kryptonite-infused paint splashed all over Superman while Man of Steel is dying and the Daily Planet is rocketing off into space (and I doubt that building is airtight).

Lois in the third season got a makeover to look more innocent. Maybe they figured that the old Lois was too abrasive and brash for such a helpless gal? Clark actually manages some better digs at her expense and to beat her to the stories.

For the first couple of segments in season two there seemed a little hope he'd stop with the Sesame Street lessons in directions but they were back by the third. Up! Away! Down! Up, up and away!

Clark found a windowless supply closet at the Daily Planet to change in for season three!

Why no signal watch for Lois? She needs Superman more than Jimmy does and he's not always able to find her. It doesn't help that by season three, she's even got Jimmy sneaking into danger without letting anyone know where they'll be. Even worse, Jimmy tells almost every villian about the watch, giving them a chance to rip it away and destroy it. The watch isn't super too, Jimmy!

How to Prove Your You-ness

2015-07-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

How stupid of me. I forgot to change an account to my new phone number before the old number lapsed. Now every time I try to login, I have to answer these stupid questions because I can't receive a special code by phone.

Which of these people do you know? Er... no. Are they neighbors? Were they in my high school or college? Are they extended family? How the hell should I know? My neighbors = nasty people you wouldn't want to know. Fellow classmates = my graduating classes had hundreds, most of whose names I'd never heard. Heck, one college lecture alone could have hundreds of students. Extended family = I've never met many of them.

With whom did you cosign a loan? I don't even get loans for myself; why would I volunteer to be responsible for someone else's? I was raised to believe that if you can't afford it, just forget it. Really, it'll do wonders for your debt level.

Which street is nearest to where you live? OK, so I'm a bit of a hermit. I don't much care to go places, especially in my 'hood. Never wanted to know so much about the area. I actually have to Google map the answer choices and by the time I finish, the questions have expired and they give me a whole new set!

The New Adventures of Superman 1966: Viva Super Hombre! part 1

2015-07-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

The New Adventures of Superman: 1966 - 1970

Superman's Double Trouble - King Kong vs. Godzilla but cheesier. Lunch and a handbag anyone? Wasn't it killing them to seal them back underground anyway?

Lava Men - Viva Super Hombre!

Luthor Strikes Again - Luring Superman into a Kryptonite trap at a lead paint factory: wasn't Luthor supoosed to be a genius?

The Pernicious Parasite - This guy is supposed to be good at stealing hazardous stuff? Don't open the container of radioactive material, idiot!

Brainiac - Superman Meets Brainiac: He already met Brainiac like 20 episodes ago. Brainiac's Bubbles: How did he recognize Brainiac's UFO when it doesn't always look the same?

A Devil of a Time - He did this before as Superboy. I guess the classics never get old. What kind of crooks would give up the largest diamond in the world because it's too big??

Superman Meets His Match - That poor tree. It should have shattered when Superman thwapped it into a creature with invulnerability equal to his own.

The Cage of Glass - Why is grass growing on the site where Metropolis is supposed to be? That's some tough grass to be able to grow under skyscrapers and paved streets.

The Atomic Superman - Super halitosis! There are better ways to test explosive liquids than makes Supes drink it. Why not blow up an asteroid or something?

Have You Licked a Small Creature's Behind Lately?

2015-06-19T20:00:00.001-07:00

In Bones episode "The Mystery in the Meat," Brennan says "Cat urine could be a natural flavor." Excretions from beaver behinds can make vanilla extra vanilla-y. Or how about 5 Horrifying Food Additives You've Probably Eaten Today?

Now every time I see natural flavors on an ingredient list, I can't help wondering who's licking so poor creature's ass? They must find this stuff out somehow. Some poor food scientist: "Yes, my job is to test animal secretions for use as flavoring in consumer food products."

Fleischer Superman Cartoons, part 2: Boy Scout Breaks Laws of Common Sense & Physics

2015-06-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Arctic Giant: That ice melted like there were heat lamps on it instead of just the refrigeration breaking down.

The Magnetic Telescope: Clark could gotten there faster as Superman but he takes a taxi instead. So much for rushing to save the world.

Max Fleischers Superman: Collector's Edition [Blu-ray]

Terror on the Midway: Lois actually manages to save someone for once!

Showdown: Why is Superman suddenly so slow and weak? Climbing takes forever the that desk seems amazingly heavy.

The Mummy Strikes: All hail King Tush! That "damning" evidence seems pretty circumstantial to me.

Jungle Drums: Nazi's aren't supermen regardless of their belief in Übermensch. Why's Supes having such a hard time fighting a pair of them?

The Underground World: Those bird people had a statue of a guy who looked a lot like Henderson. Doesn't that mean he held some importance for them? Maybe they wanted to replace their old statue with a brand new one? Or they thought he was an imposter?

Pigeons: Precision Poopers

2015-05-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Planning a precision strike on humans

Descending the stairs, my hand on the narrow metal railing, I feel something wet, icky... eww! Yep, pigeon poop. On that think railing less than an inch thick. Talk about precision swoop and poop.

How about the time I was staring at my feet in a schoolyard? So emo and loner, I know. Didn't even notice a thing until others started making a fuss. You know, backing away, pointing, laughing since I wasn't enough of a social misfit already. I can be oblivious but not THAT oblivious. That was a stealth precision strike right on the shoulder of my coat.

Isn't it bad enough that they love to roost on my house? One raised a family on my crumbling bedroom window sill. Hello? Crumbling: not a safe place to raise your kids. Plenty of other solid spots on all the other neighborhood houses. And their endless cooing is so darn loud...

Too bad I don't believe in hurting living creatures. I once tried to trap a cockroach but accidentally chopped it in half when it put on a sudden burst of speed. Hold still, you idiots. I dont want to kill you... yet. OK, maybe never, I'm squeamish that way.

Fleischer Superman Cartoons, part 1: Peepshow in the Supply Closet!

2015-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

Max Fleischers Superman: Collector's Edition [Blu-ray]

Lois leaps headfirst into trouble: She doesn't let anyone where she is and usually tries to hide her whereabouts. This version is more of a screamer than a fighter. How did she ever manage before Superman could find and save her pretty much anywhere? Even worse, when she finds out about imminent destruction that she can't stop herself, she doesn't call anyone for help. Thanks Lois, for being more concerned about getting the story than saving lives.

What ridiculous names and devices: the electrothanasia ray, Bulleteers, Japoteurs

Clark changing: Does anyone ever notice the silhouette in the window? Does anyone ever find Clark's clothes discarded inside? Once he changed right outside the Daily Planet building.

Perry's intercom? system: It's one system in one episode and looks completely different in another. Why does he even need it? Why not just open the door and yell like J Jonah Jamerson would? Lois and Clark are usually in his office anyway.

The Mechanical Monsters: Why does he need so many robots? Why won't Lois tell him where the jewels are when they all fell out anyway? How did the guy expect Lois to give him answers when he gagged her? How did Superman find the base when he lost the robot's trail?

Billion Dollar Limited: Why wasn't Clark suspicious of a car nearly running him over and racing after the gold? How did the same guys manage to get ahead of Superman three times to set up bombs and things? Superman left Lois with the bad guys so he could deliver the gold instead. He should know by now that this Lois can't really fend for herself.

Why Coulson Should Have Met With Skye's Mom

2015-05-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

Spoilers for Season 2 Episode 20 "Scars"

Who do you think was really more objective and wouldn't land us in a war? Phil "paternal instinct I just want to protect Skye" Coulson vs. Robert "these powered people don't really want live in peace, they're the biggest threat ever, what's our plan of attack?" Gonzales. My money's on Coulson. Gonzales saw threats everywhere, constantly tried to undermine everything, and thought he was more equal than everyone else. Why else would he have had that secret "insurance policy" when he was supposed to be big on transparency?

Coulson's smarter, craftier and more flexible (both mentally and physically). He might have avoided the attack or at least dodged it.

Coulson brings people together. Look at the Avengers. Gonzales was only good at tearing the remains of S.H.I.E.L.D. apart.

Hiding and Finding Super Dangerous Stuff

2015-04-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Finding Dangerous Stuff

If they don't know where it is and can't find out except through you, do not go and move it for safety. The bad guys will only follow you to it or take it from you.

Why do you think they let you know just how much they wanted to find it? "Thanks for saving us a ton of work! And giving us an excuse to laugh in your face and shoot you."

Instead, lead them on a long and dangerous journey into the heart of a secret prison with full surveillance and a dummy artifact. That way, when they try to take it and kill you, the whole thing's on camera and they're already in prison. Slam dunk case!

Buried in the deep.

(Re-)Hiding Dangerous Stuff

If it's really THAT dangerous and no one should ever use it, including you, then by all means, destroy it! The only excuses are if it's indestructible or if it's a living creature (that's not super creepy or a killing machine).

If you can't destroy it, put it someplace no living creature that you know of can survive. Try within a pool of magma or at the bottom of the deepest ocean trench you can reach. Eventually someone might invent the tech to get there but by then, you'll be too long dead to care.

This works too. Dangerous stuff mostly gone..

If you don't want anyone to find it, don't leave clues or maps. Otherwise it's guaranteed that people will try to find it, and after enough of them, someone will.

Image to the right from episode Day of the Samurai from Batman: The Complete Animated Series

Son of Coul vs the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D."

2015-04-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Spoiler Alert! Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes 2-14 Love in the Time of Hydra and 2-15 One Door Closes

Transparent, my ass! The "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." is more secretive than Coulson's. If it's the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D.," why has no one heard of them? Why not tell people like Talbot not to work with Coulson and just hand everything over to them instead?

Reporting to the World Security Council? No big thing, especially since it was compromised by HYDRA just as much as the original S.H.I.E.L.D. was.

What has the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." even been doing all this time? They had an entire aircraft carrier and what looks like lots more people. All Fury left Coulson was a cube, an old secret base and some Koenigs with an inexplicable love of lanyards. Yet it looks like Coulson's team did all the work. All the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." seems to have done is spy on Coulson.

Five people sat at the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." table yet they looked anything but equal. It was quite obvious that the other four deferred to Gonzales. I didn't even realize they were supposed to be equal until they tried to feed Coulson that garbage in the second episode since the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." reveal.

Gonzales wanted to follow Fury's orders until the very end when HYDRA was blowing in the door right after Bobbie's democracy speech. The point when he pretty much had no choice but to help keep himself alive doing as the others by firing at the mass of enemies busting through the door. Fury gave the cube to Coulson, enough said.

If anything the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." looks like a power grab by Gonzales. Of course people will be loyal to you if you save them which is easy enough if you have Mockingbird, Hartley and other fine agents to do most of the hard work while protecting you. The same people you need to do all the hard work of keeping your new kingodm running.

Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if HYDRA left Gonzales behind, hoping he'd get Fury's cube and find the most dangerous hidden weapons. What better way than with a reborn HYDRA S.H.I.E.L.D.?

And you know, if the Avengers had to choose, they'd choose Coulson over some lame "Real S.H.I.E.L.D." any day. Hey, you want to tell Hulk he can't work with Coulson?

Catch up on Season One of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.:

Walgreens: Pissing Off Customers One at a Time

2015-01-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

Now that's service!

I was shopping at walgreens.com using their Friends & Family code to buy three items costing over $60. Subtrct the discount and it's over $50. Subtract the 40,000 Balance Rewards points worth $50 and it should be just over $1, right?

Wrong! They charge the over $50! Since I'm trying to use up a debit card with a limit of $50, the charge failed. So I contact customer service.

The CS said they have to put a temporary charge on your credit card for the full amount. It's to keep you from spending points you don't have because in the days it takes for your order to ship, you might "reuse" the points.

I said, "Um, duh, how about putting a temporary hold on the points instead? That way you don't have to do it with people's credit cards?"

They kept repeating, "Your card won't be charged the total amount." [in the end.]

I said, "Just tell someone higher up my suggestion."

If anyone else could suggest this too, maybe we could get them to possibly consider changing it?

Probably not though. If there's one company that treats it's Friends & Family as thieves just because they didn't think of easy preventative measures. it's Walgreens.

A Tip For Idiotic Bigots

2014-11-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

I'm guessing you pretend to be an upstanding citizen and a productive helpful member of society. You wouldn't kill someone on the off chance you might get arrested, right? But you would want them out of your neighborhood since it should a nice pure place for you and your kind to live.

If so, the last thing you want is to destroy your target's property or physically hurt them or their family. See, it takes money to move away. It takes more money for them not to go broke and have to live with government support which would be paid for with YOUR hard-earned tax dollars, gasp! You don't want them to have to continually shell out for hospital bills and fixing and replacing things.

Try asking; it doesn't even have to be too nicely. Or telling. Or anything else that doesn't involve physical assault or property destruction which are both still crimes that can be pinned on you. Also, lay off with trying to get them fined for stupid things because again, you don't want to them to run out of the money they'd need to move out of your precious neighborhood. 'Cause then might have no choice but to stay right there NEXTTOYOU which is the last thing either of you want.

The point is, home should be a sanctuary. Yes, I suppose even you have a right to that. As for your target, no place with a-holes like you around is much of a sanctuary. Give them the best chance possible of moving away already so you both can be happier. Emphasis on the YOU because of course you deserve everything good in the universe and they don't. *roll eyes*