Unbearable Lightness of Being Me

Journal from the Depths

2025-08-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

It’s 2025 and the world is back to normal from the new normal. It has survived a pandemic and artificial intelligence has taken over a lot of lives. I am writing my first blog from my phone. I have many things to share and much more to withhold. I recently started journaling. Just now, I had my journals open and was staring at the blank page of one of them when inspiration struck and I opened blogger and started typing words into my phone screen.

I mentioned journals because I have quite a few. The first one is a very personal diary of thoughts. I write my dreams and nightmares as I wake up from them in those pages. I also write love letters that will never get sent, thoughts that will mostly never get spoken out, and desires and prayers that still fill me with hope seeing the words inked. The words come quick and without filter, like tears that come on hard days. My hope is that I would have the courage to read them again without flinching one day, and just appreciate the self-honesty that allowed me to recognize that sometimes thoughts are just thoughts but doesn’t necessarily tell out the entire story of how complex we humans are.

The second journal is an art journal. I use watercolor most days. While the art is not perfect, the few minutes spent on painting stills of what I saw the day, like a fruit basket on our dinner table, or flowers that I bought myself, allow me to quiet my mind. I sometimes tear out the completed artworks and use them as personal note cards for friends and family on special occasions. I always go back to making art during challenging times. Sometimes I forget to do it during busy periods of life or when I am distracted but I always go back to it.

The third one is a collage journal. It mostly documents quotes and memories I have for that particular week. I friend told me that she has prayers in her journal. I have some scripture and prayers in mine, but not yet my own personal prayers. I find making collages the least exhausting one. You don’t need any structure and you can keep empty spaces and use any medium in them. It doesn’t require you to fully flesh out your thoughts and keep them a bit obscure in the imagery and composition of the page.

I have a blank journal that I am intending to use as a travel journal. My next trip would be the first to go in its pages, eventhough I have been privileged to go to many places. For now, I store my memory and photos on Instagram and maybe this blog.

Back from Somewhere

2023-06-25T03:16:00.004-07:00

I realized that I’ve kept this journal dead for almost two years. The reason is not the lack of things happening. I’ve left my old company after nineteen loyal years last year, shortly before I sent my eldest son across the globe to study college. The pandemic has ended and we’ve been traveling the world again. In fact, the reason I’ve glanced back at this blog was because I wanted to check the posts I’ve written about a city we are about to visit. I’ve been there twice in the past, and it was nice to remember through reading my posts about it. I’ve met a lot of new colleagues and the new work has made me tremendously busy. Perhaps that was the reason, I became very busy.

So why am I back here? I needed to do something I used to love to do. This is something I’ve learned a long time ago. In times of uncertainty, loss, or even boredom, the best cure is go back to something you found joy in the past. Most of the time, it works. So here I am, forty-something and blogging again.

For the photos, I just scanned my phone for my most recent photos.

Since my last post, I’ve been prescribed glasses that I rarely wear. The next three photos were taken all one weekend, when I felt like dressing up.

Let’s see if I keep on writing.

Welcome back to me.

A Different Language

2021-10-18T00:58:00.003-07:00

My younger son recently decided to learn another language. He wanted to learn Japanese because of his interest in Anime and Manga. He downloaded the DuoLingo app on his ipad and we were surprised that it was a paid app. To maximize the amount paid, I decided to learn Spanish while he also learns Japanese. Why Spanish? Well, actually John was the one who first played around with it and the language was already set plus Filipino and Spanish share an awful lot of words - so it was pretty easy to translate. I spend a few minutes each day just learning phrases and subject verb conjugation. The genders still confuse me. Wouldn't it be easier if we didn't have any genders at all -- in languages and in the real world? If all were just treated the same, I think it will be simpler. I understand that some people need to identify their gender - but imagine if there was no need for us to point out we are different from each other and just treat everyone one and the same?

A lot has been happening and I feel a bit lost. It seems that being confined in the house for a year and a half has taken a toll on how I communicate to the rest of the world. While I still want to be heard, I have taken less effort to actually say anything. I feel it is the same for most of us. It is like the language of the world has changed and I don't understand it anymore. If and when I say anything at all - I feel it is somewhat lost in translation. So for the most part, I will choose to say nothing. There are times though that you will feel compelled to say something, hopefully of worth. I feel that now should be the time with the elections coming up. I need to wake up from languishing in the shadows of this pandemic to wake up with the rest of the country clamoring for change. Perhaps, there is still hope to learn a different language. Hopefully one that many will understand because to change the present means I cannot be the only one standing up to say something.

I pray that we all find our voice soon.

First and Last Story

2021-07-26T00:30:00.004-07:00

I still remember my very first short story, or rather the first one somebody other than myself was able to read. It was a writing assignment for fourth grade English. I wrote about Nica and Emilyn and their broken family. My teacher took me aside after class and asked whether I had help writing my piece. I didn't realize in then that it was probably some compliment of sorts, that it was too good to have been written by my young self. I did write it and the story went on to win my classmate an award at an extemporaneous speaking contest. I wrote the piece but I wasn't gifted enough at acting it out on the stage in the big auditorium. Perhaps I remember details incorrectly, since that memory was from thirty years ago.

I have not written anything here for a while. The world still has the pandemic and I have only started to read books again. I found that in the last year I have mostly kept my thoughts to myself. I have not written creatively for a long time. I remember the last short story that I wrote. One summer I took a creative writing class with my old college professor. My classmates were mostly working professionals. We took the classes every Saturday, we read stories and wrote a few. I remember my short story being particularly sad. My grandfather died a few years back and that story was inspired by events after his funeral. I asked a couple of people to read it and one particular feedback stuck with me. He said, "I wish you would write short stories that were a little less sad." I didn't write another one after that.

New Normal Days

2020-10-02T04:13:00.001-07:00

In our last “e-numan” or group hangout using Zoom, my high school classmates mentioned that they miss reading blogs. It seems that the era of online personal journal has come to an end, and my blog even with its infrequent updates is an anomaly. Everyone is on Instagram now and with most of the people shifting to IG stories there’s even less of permanent things on our profile. The stories disappear to your archive after twenty-four hours.

My stories have mostly been about my plants. I’ve amassed quite a number since I last updated you on this blog. My first few plants have been propagated and I bought more. I spend the first hour of my day going around the house and the garden doing a bit of watering and planting here and there. It is therapeutic for me, to spend this time in silence just prodding and pruning. I used to spend this hour on yoga and lifting weights before I injured my right wrist. There’s still a little pain and so to the garden I go.

Days just pass us now and most of us have gotten used to the new normal. Funny how even the boys would admit that our quality of life has gotten better. Sunday lunches have become a bit of the only luxury to be with my extended family. We eat lunch and we hang out. On the special occasions, I even dress the long table outside just so we differentiate those Sundays from the regular ones. Maybe I should do it every Sunday, to emphasize our new way of eating out.

I don’t know how long we will be this way, with going out of the house always an exceptional case. I miss the beach and international travel. I miss eating out and meeting up with friends. But I will admit that we have adapted to this new way of life. At the end of my day, I curl up maybe with some wine and I watch Netflix.

Plantita

2020-06-28T23:51:00.001-07:00

I started to care for plants when we moved into our current house. Since the house is blessed with abundant natural light, plants can flourish indoors without any problem. The first indoor plants I bought two years ago are still alive, so I took it as a sign that we can bring in more plants. Since the lockdown I've bought a few more variety into the house.

This Orlando Pothos has lemon and lime leaves. The seller sold it to me as Golden Orlando Pothos. She also posted a Philodendron Moonlight that looks the same to me. So I guess I won't be able to tell the difference between those two anytime soon. When I left it for a day under a very sunny spot, the leaves started to droop. I think it like this new spot here under the colorful abstract painting of New York beside our cereal jars.

This dwarf rubber tree came with a pink caladium that have since passed away. It also shed a few leaves since getting here and I'm thinking it might be because it was recently repotted since being sold. What I don't like about buying plants instead of growing them yourself, most sellers would only repot the plants just before selling and this gives a bit of plant shock. Apart from the fact that the plants also adjust to the new environment. There's really no telling if they will survive the change. Most of them are resilient like us -- but for a few the change is too much so we bid adieu.

This Selloum has been with me for two years and I only recently realized you needed to rotate it so to encourage even growth. Mine grew towards the window hence the leaves are all on one side. If there's a bit of rain we bring the plants outside for some soaking. They are tropical beings after all and a little bit of rain should be good for them.

By our main door I have this little set up. The Livistona is also one of my first plants, I still need to research why the growth kind of stunted since I got it. Perhaps because I don't really use any regular fertilizers on my plants. It's still sprouting new leaves regularly though so it looks pretty healthy to me.

On the console cabinet sits two varieties of Pothos. One is Pothos Njoy with the variegated leaves. It has also been busy growing vines since it got here so I'm hoping it is enjoying its spot in the house. Once in a while the larger older leaves would turn yellow but I just cut it off when it becomes too unsightly. The other younger leaves are still doing pretty much okay so I'm not too worried.

The other pothos is Brazil and the yellow stripe in the middle kind of reminds me of the country's flag. Pothos is one of those air purifying plants, I also have one near my beside.

Here's the sitting room where I have reclaimed furniture and also where I have some of the plants I discussed above. I also have a tricolor Calathea (which kind of looked abused with some of the leaves with bruising, I got it that way and I'm hoping to get it healthier) and a Sapphire Susan. Gorgeous multi-colored foliage. I wish for them to thrive in our humble abode.

That's it for my Plantita entry for now.

A Full-Pledged Tita

2020-06-26T03:47:00.000-07:00

So it's been more than a hundred days since my country was placed in community quarantine. It is the longest and harshest lock down in the entire world. However the virus is still around and most of us are still at home. As I called it early on, asking people to stay home just won't do the trick. Nevertheless we are still at home and in the meantime have learned a few tricks to becoming a full-pledged Tita (aunt, auntie, older lady) while in quarantine.

First, you have to remaster cooking. This means going back to the kitchen and relearning your signature dishes or even coming up with new ones. I was lucky that my older son was totally into cooking and I only had to go back a few times myself. When you are tired of that (or aren't really a cook at all), capitalize on all your friends who started to sell their own creations. I have two friends from the gym who sold me the latest quarantine food craze: Coffee Jelly and the Basque Burnt Cheesecake. Totally delicious. I also found the best suppliers of giant cookies and farm fresh yoghurt from the village.

After that you turn to decorating your abode. You are after all expected to spend most of your hours at home - working, studying, meditating so why not make it beautiful? I actually did not spend a single peso on non-food items the first two months of the lockdown but once I got over that I started shopping and shipping furniture. I figured the local economy can use a bit of a boost with my unplanned purchases. Two areas in my house that I've spruced up so far is this art corner that now serves as my yoga room in the mornings. This has my own art as well as my favorite books. I moved a few houseplants to make it cozier too.

The second area I upgraded is the home office area in my living room. My husband took over our home office area when he had to work from home and so I was relegated to using the sofa and coffee table for many weeks until I found a vintage furniture online seller that had the table and swivel chair that I wanted. A few more houseplants and tada! My cozy work area that I share with my son who has started having online classes. The other son also uses this desk to draw his digital art. I plan to set up two more desks soon so that might be my next blog update.

If you've noticed, I have added a few more houseplants. I had a few to begin with, but now I think I've bought enough to bring the greenery in. My house is full of natural light. I have a lot of those corner glass windows that just bring the sunlight in, so I just have to make sure to check if I've watered the plants enough. In the photo above, you can see a fortune plant, a sensation plant, a bird's nest and a tiny pothos in water.

I guess there's no stopping now. After I bought all the pothos variety that one seller had: Brasil, Orlando, Golden, Queen's Marble, and Njoy, I also got all of the Calathea variety that I fancied: Tricolor Prayer Plant (Stromanthe), Zebrina, Sapphire Susan, and the Red Siam Aglaonema. It gives me something else to study on my weekends. I didn't realize caring for plants is also a science.

Apart from that, I've also started experimenting with Bokashi Composting in the hope that I will be able to create my own soil and also help the environment with my food waste. My husband is in full support of my crazy hobbies and even asked a gardener to come in and clean-up the garden. We planted a few more Podocarpus Maki and got a few flowering plants as well. The gardener also pruned all our bamboo and even painted the garden wall.

My older son is still asking for an oven so maybe I'll move back to the kitchen soon. Maybe I will be able to bake my own cheesecake soon, for now I'll keep on ordering from my friends.

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Double Life

2020-04-19T23:41:00.001-07:00

It has been a month since we’ve put in an enhanced community quarantine because of Covid-19. Many cities around the world have also put similar restrictions all around. Too many lives have been lost and we are coming to grips with what many people are calling the “new normal”. I’ve only gone out twice in the last month, both to buy groceries at a nearby supermarket. It was surreal to see the roads cleared of the normal traffic, people in masks, and the police checkpoint. We live in a tropical country and wearing a face mask outside in 30+ degrees weather isn’t the most comfortable thing. Within minutes of alighting my air-conditioned car, my face is beaded with sweat. It takes a lot of effort not to lift my mask and wipe off the perspiration. Touching one’s face is the most natural thing to do and I struggle.

Inside the grocery I try to do my shopping as quickly as I can. I already found an online vegetable seller and one of my neighbors sells fish, so I don’t linger in those areas anymore. I am also thinking of having my meat and rice delivered. The local government unit also organized a mobile market and most of my neighbors used that opportunity to shop their essentials. I guess I am lucky, we already got three deliveries of what they are calling relief goods: three kilos of rice and three canned sardines. In some places they only prioritize the marginalize communities and I can totally understand why. Many people in my country have lost their opportunity to earn their daily wages and I wonder how long we can sustain this enhanced community quarantine. For poor countries like the Philippines, the government has resorted to using the fiscal budget to combat the effects of the pandemic. Soon we will start on the loans, making us poorer by the minute.

I wonder if my sons are oblivious to the fact that many people are suffering now. Perhaps they are wondering why I sometimes bring to light current event topics on the dinner table. Some people might want to shelter their kids from the truth for fear of traumatizing their kids. I believe in reminding them of the truth out there. Perhaps they will realize how extremely lucky they are. I fear for their future too. There is so much uncertainty that I sometimes find it hard to sleep at night. My husband started watching World War documentaries and for me it does feel like we are at war. The whole world is praying for a vaccine against this disease because many of us know that there is no going back to the life we once knew if we can’t find it.

These days I also lead a double life in social media. On the one hand, I try to keep up with all the political news on Facebook. A few times I’ve expressed my thoughts on my frustration with the reaction from people on this pandemic. A lot of people have lost empathy to those who are suffering. A lot of us are hoping for a quicker and better response from the government. A lot of people just copy and paste thoughts and memes, not caring for the truth. Like many others on Instagram I post the most mundane things. I’ve posted about the food we’ve eaten, mostly meals that the boys have cooked. I’ve also posted watercolor doodles that I’ve done or photogenic corners of the house. Also new things that we’ve started to do as a family like workout in the afternoon. I guess this is the part of me that wants to escape reality, acknowledge that there are things that seem familiar still. I have learned that going through the most difficult times, I find strength in doing things that bring me home: cooking comfort food, dabbling into art, reading a book, and hugging the dearest to me at night.

Coronavirus Thoughts

2020-03-13T00:46:00.001-07:00

My mother gave all my relatives a huge bottle of hand soap as gifts last Christmas. Seems like a practical gift then but now is like manna from heaven. In the last few weeks the world has been gripped with the COVID-19 virus pandemic and everyone needs one at home. I’m sure my mother didn’t have an inkling that it would turn out like this with the danger of death and our only tangible defense is handwashing.

A few hours before a community quarantine was issued for Metro Manila, folks were reporting that there were a lot of people in the groceries stocking on supplies. Some were hoarding the most unusual of items like toilet paper and rubbing alcohol. I have not gone to the grocery since we still have some supply in the pantry including normal cleaning items. I don’t intend to take a bath in alcohol any time soon. I told my husband that we could wait it out a few more days when the initial panic and hysteria has died down. The last time I went to the grocery my oldest son reminded me to only buy enough and stock up a little on some essentials. I told him I don’t plan to do douchebag levels of hoarding.

Over lunch I told my sons that if anything this lockdown should teach us to appreciate simple living. I told them that I don’t intend to cook complicated dishes (those requiring more than three major ingredients) or more than one viand per meal so that we can stretch out our supplies. The less grocery runs the better. They seem to be okay with it. For lunch we had patola with misua and egg. I also think it is the best time to clear out our refrigerators of those half empty bottle of cheese spread and barbeque sauces. Try to eat what you have handy. I’ve already done that the last week and I was surprised with how many bottles of special sauces I was able to use up. Now is the time to see how blessed you are and it shows with how much you have already stocked up.

I don’t mind staying at home. I stay indoors most days and I advocate working from home. Less carbon footprint with all the hours saved from traffic. I only had to give up going to my gym an hour a day and going to Sunday mass. The kids were fun enough to indulge me on a circuit training session the other day and I can practice yoga by myself (give or take a few missed poses). Now is the time to pray and I really don’t need to go to church to do that. My friend sent a link for TV masses and perhaps I will try that. I don’t see any issues with staying in for the next month. If I get bored, I can get my painting supplies from the storage and maybe finally finish the Wheel of Time series.

Like many others I worry about those who don’t have a stock of food at home. I wonder how this community quarantine will affect them. The incoherent government doesn’t seem to have a plan that they were willing to share. How to help? Everyone is just too concerned for our own well-being. To each his own. If you are asked to stay home, how can you help others? Maybe there's a way to have some food donated too without having to go out.

I wonder how the rest of humanity is going to react. We need to act collectively to save ourselves. Little sacrifices go a long way. We all need rest from the usual and continue to pray for better days.

Balesin 2020

2020-01-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since we were able to go on a family vacation. While we have taken some road trips here and there, our last one where we took a plane was in 2016. It was good that we had friends who allowed us to tag along to their Balesin trip just after the New Year.

Balesin is a private island off the coast of Quezon. It is half the size of Boracay and its name was derived from two Filipino words: Balete (Banyan tree) and Asin (salt), two things that abound in the island. There are seven villages in the island and glad we were able to experience all seven of them in our short stay.

Upon arriving at the island, we had breakfast at St. Tropez and had a taste of their savory crepe and french toast. We then went to check in at our villa in Phuket. This is the part of the island where the Pacific ocean meets Lamon Bay and the waves were huge and could definitely be for surfing. In our backyard was a small sandbar where Chase and I attempted to have some photos taken before the rain and the wind shooed us away.

We took the free island tour the afternoon we arrived and got to see other parts of the island that was normally not shown to guests like the Balesin Royal Villa.

I was also able to enjoy a sunset cocktail with our hosts at Nusa Dua, the bar at the Bali Village, touted to have the best sunset in the island. Alas! since there were a lot of clouds that day, I only had a glimpse of the sun as it was setting down. The boys were busy playing basketball at the Sports Center during this time.

On our second day, we were able to lounge at the Poseidon Pool at Mykonos and enjoy lunch at the Taverna. Later we headed to the Balesin beach to swim in the ocean. An entire day under the sun with a bonus of a rainbow at the end of it.

Finally, we had dinner at Costa del Sol. It was the best meal we had in the island. The paella must not be missed. Sadly no photos of the dinner but here we have some photos of the Spanish Village during the day.

They asked us to move to Toscana on our second night on the account of us being the only villa in Phuket with checked-in guests. We actually liked that we also experienced the hotel-type accomodation of the Italian village and were impressed by the spacious room and the views of the sea.

It was great to have a taste of a family beach holiday just as the new decade started.

From our family to yours: Happy New Year!

Checkpoint 2019

2019-12-17T03:46:00.000-08:00

Checkpoint. It’s almost Christmas and the end of the year. It is actually the end of the decade, much of which is covered in this blog. I look back on this year and think that 2019 has been more peaceful than the other years of past. Perhaps making the goal to have more kindness to others helped achieved that.

Now for some random thoughts because my brain cannot organize a cohesive narrative for the year that was.

Now the mother of two high schoolers, I find that I dole out a lot of advice about life and love (perhaps not all of them requested). The boys are in the exciting years of their life. I can’t believe that they have grown up taller than me. From here on, I will be the smallest member of this family. Perhaps with each passing year my authority and presence diminished just a little.

There was a time I attended a lot of weddings in December, surprisingly this year I don’t think I was in a single wedding party for the year. I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. Perhaps it is because now I know that to be in real marriage, one must not only show the best of oneself on the wedding day but to actually show up every single day with the best intentions and the best of actions.

On one Christmas party, my friends who were all women above 40 were discussing the merits of beauty, kindness, and intelligence and which of these traits would rank to be the best quality one must possess. One argued that beauty must be the highest ranked of them all because physical beauty will be recognized without any action required. It already gives the bearer an advantage in life. Next is kindness because people who are kind are also favored by other people. They attract less animosity. Jokingly they said that intelligence is the least favored of all. I think while growing up, I thought of it the other way around but then again with all the science around beauty, beauty should now be easier to possess. Kindness is a bit harder since choosing to be kind all the time is just difficult. It takes an inordinate amount of humility to do that. I think intelligence is the hardest one to possess, for you need good genetics and an education to be smart.

I think the most important thing in life is to have people constants, those that you cannot do without in your life. You hold on to them until you can. We lose some of them inevitably at some point, so make the moments count.

Why did I write these random thoughts? I’m not sure. I’ve never fancied myself as someone doling out advice, but I kind of need to as a mother. I’ve been married for fifteen years now and I still don’t know how to give good marriage advice. Beauty, kindness, and intelligence are things we can possess all the same time, I don’t think they need to be ranked. We can lose one or all of them in an instant anyway. People constants are a must though.

Happy Holidays folks! Random thoughts are fun. It didn’t even need to be a message about Christmas or the New Year…

Totally random photo from my phone

Thanksgiving.. First Cousins Giving

2019-12-12T04:07:00.003-08:00

What I love about having a big family is that you have instant friends in the form of first cousins. In my generation, the girls outnumber the boys. We've also reached that age when the almost twenty year gap between the oldest and the youngest girl cousin don't matter anymore. We started to get together once or twice a year to party. Whereas before we were the additional ones to the family gathering, we have now owned the partying and the oldies have not been invited to our shindigs. Being one of the oldest cousins, I have hosted a few of these parties and I love how we've started our own new family traditions.

This year our got together fell on Thanksgiving week, so we took that to our theme. I started decorating our long party table with some handmade table runner that I had ordered from my friend's mom. It's been slaving away in the cabinet waiting for the right party to make its debut. Don't you think it is a heirloom piece?

I did try my hand at folding paper napkins!

This was us at the start of the party.

By the end of the night, we were sprawled at the floor playing drunken card games and Jenga!

Spruced up this advent wreath with fall produce: pumpkins and apples

No turkey here.. just your regular Filipino food!

Champagne Ball

2019-12-12T03:05:00.002-08:00

Most of my family including my father have work related to Telepreneur Corporation. I'm one of the few people that don't so I usually don't get to attend their events. This year since my husband was away on business and my first born son was also on his first immersion trip, I took my younger son with me to attend their Champagne Ball. It was sort of something for my father who was receiving an award that night. I took an old champagne dress and wore it. I bought a jacket because this dress was backless and I last wore it to a beach wedding. My handsome date was wearing an outfit we bought the day before because he has outgrown most of his formal wear. My father was happy we made it and I was happy to have made time for another family affair. I am proud of my family for putting up this business. I wish them many more years of success and to help many more lives with their business.

My lovely cousins and I all dressed up.

Renielle, my first cousin, who could definitely pass as my sister.

Papa the Awardee

My handsome date

Lola who rarely misses family events at 86

Mama, Papa, Aly, Me, and Zib

Bohemian Christmas

2019-12-01T20:53:00.001-08:00

Just like that and we are on the last month of the year. The air is cold and one can smell Christmas in the mornings. Every year I dream of a Christmas tree like no other in the world. So I try to make most of the ornaments myself and over the years I've bought a few when I travel.

Last year I told myself that I wanted to have most of my ornaments handmade. It all started with the crocheted balls that my friend Tita Susan makes. While I am not skilled at crocheting, I tried my hand at sewing some felt ornaments too. I also traveled to see Jona in the US last year and on a trip to Michael's we chanced upon some felt and yarn ornaments that fit the vision I had in mind. I only had a few ornaments last year to fill the potted live tree I had outside but I set out to seek more handmade ornaments throughout the year to decorate the big tree.

My cousin has a leathercraft store and I ordered a leather ornaments to be made. My niece Elyse also had a Mexican themed first birthday party last September and I took that opportunity to make more felt ornaments. On a shopping trip with my friend Pia in Arte Fino, I found a garland made of fabric and beads and I just knew it would be at home with the tree.

My husband John recently went to Germany and got me a few more nutcrackers and I happily added to them to the bunch I had from Christmases past. I also reused my giant and gold stars from my favorite Christmas shop, Department24. They only open for a few weeks every year to sell their Christmas ornaments and I buy whenever I can.

For the gifts under the tree, I also got it from women who create with their hands. I got castile soaps and more leathercraft from Oilabu and Likha Handcrafted Bags and I will be busily giving those away in the coming Christmas parties lined up.

Counting the man hours, love for their passion and craft, and my own memorable experiences that went into this tree.. I think it may be one of my most favorite yet. Since it was made by artisans, I'm calling it my Bohemian Christmas tree!

PS. The first guests to enjoy the tree were my beautiful first cousins. We sure had fun this get together. I will be posting about that epic night soon. =)

Motherhood

2019-09-26T02:22:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since I wrote something here about motherhood and how it has been treating me. The boys are both so tall now. The older one towers over me and would soon be six feet tall. He is on his final year of Junior High School and has been doing exceptionally well in his academics. Recently he also took on an Organization Lead position and his moderator took her time to tell me how hard working he is with their activities. My younger son on the other hand started Junior High School last June in the same school where his brother studies. Logistically, this made our daily commute easier but I know he had to adjust to the rigors of his new school. Moving from an international progressive school to a Filipino Catholic school is a huge undertaking. I just got their first trimester grades yesterday and I was so glad that he was also doing well despite the adjustment. His biggest hurdle is mastering the mother tongue and the academics focused curriculum on top of trying to meet new friends in this new school.

Raising adolescent boys is another thing. My son asked me over lunch today how young I was when I started dating. I paused and told him I was around his age when I started dating. The pause was for me to take in that he was still asking me personal questions at age fifteen. I should consider it a feat that he is still talking to me about things like this. Perhaps I am doing something right after all. I still remember the perils of adolescent life, it is after all a mere twenty-one years since my high school graduation. I always pray for my sons that they find great friends, fall in love, and learn a great deal about themselves and how great they can become during these years.

I must confess that there are days when motherhood overwhelms me. During the baby years, it was physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep and time for oneself. During the preschool years, it was all about the guilt of leaving these kids who never seem to tire of you to pursue a career. Now as I see them grow and mature, the burden of making sure they are going to be good fine men, imparting some wisdom while they still lend you an ear and spend some waking hours with you – all of these sometimes overwhelms me. Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? The balance between sheltering them and challenging them is an everyday challenge. I know most of us just really try our best, cross our fingers, and pray hard. Parenting is hard. All I know is that I give it time every single day. I am here for them, the parent who is constantly there. Only time will tell if this is enough.

I Got Sam's Back

2019-09-19T05:40:00.002-07:00

To most parents out there, we have made it our life's purpose to look out for our children. If you have a special child that would mean that this is a life-long objective since they will never be able to care for themselves. Mark and Hannah are my high school classmates and the parents to three boys. Their first born Sam was born with Prader Willi Syndrome. He has been struggling with his condition all his life and the latest complication is severe scoliosis requiring surgery abroad. His parents have launched a campaign to help with his medical expenses since the surgery alone is estimated to cost 80k Euros. You can read up more about it on this website.

I met Sam when he was just a few days old. Last I saw him was in June when we went on a camping trip with his family. He is a gentle boy with a very happy disposition despite his condition. We all are praying for a successful operation for him so that he will be able to walk properly. If you can provide any financial help, please do check out his page. There are many fund-raising activities planned for him and we are hopeful that you will find something that would fit your kind hearts.

First Birthday Fiesta

2019-09-08T21:34:00.002-07:00

Our little princess and only niece celebrated her first birthday in a Mexican themed fiesta last Saturday. I helped decorate the dessert table the venue. I started with these festive paper fans I got from the Japanese DIY store for a bargain. These come in different sizes and colors and complemented our fiesta.

My sister-in-law had the cake custom made by Blooming Cakes by Krisna. The details were superb specially the cake topper and those cupcake roses. She also bought local candies in different colors. The kids kept coming back to the gummy letters.

We even decorated her high chair. I think this is a great idea for toddlers, to have their own seat of honor during their celebration.

The table centerpieces had live plants, paper flowers, and a basket of sweets for the guests.

My friend Sarah and I spent an afternoon making these pinatas. I opted not to fill them up with candies since they had a pabitin set-up. I still have a hangover from styling this pretty party. Hopefully the restaurant Panza Lleno has more parties.

Panza Llenos

2019-08-04T20:11:00.002-07:00

I'm excited for my sister-in-law. There are so many new things going for her these days. She gave birth to a baby girl almost a year ago and after a year of being a stay-at-home Mom after they resettled in the Philippines, she launched her new business in Lipa City, Batangas. They opened Panza Llenos, a Filipino-Mexican restaurant at CityPark Subdivision in Sabang and since they opened a month ago, the reviews have been really great.

FilMex is a combination of Filipino and Mexican Cuisine which means they serve food that is both Filipino like sisig and bagoong served in known Mexican dishes like the burrito and quesadilla. Panza Llenos means full tummies in Spanish. Both the Philippines and Mexico share being a Spanish colony for many years so it is not hard to combine these two cuisines into a delicious one. There is a famous saying in Spanish that goes "Panza llena corazon contento" which means a full tummy makes a happy heart. This is the restaurant's motto and it is just so nice to see the many happy hearts reviews that their patrons continue to give them.

The ambience is unpretentious. It is a simple cantina with cute murals on the walls. The portrait in the middle wall is of my father-in-law who would have enjoyed all the hearty dishes. He sadly passed away two years ago and it was quite a tribute to have him part of this restaurant. He is our true Maestro. He taught us to enjoy good food and good company and he would have invited his many friends to try Panza Llenos.

Panza Llenos prides itself of their signature sauces. Panza Llenos employed the help of a professional chef in coming up with the menu and these sauces that accompany most of the dishes speak of his experience. From left to right: Maestro is the accompaniment of the sisig dishes, Soja de Caramelo is the drizzle on the chicken wings and sweet potato fries, Salsa is the quintessential Mexican sauce so this cannot be missed, Llenos is the cheese sauce that makes their taco que rico! Panza is the salsa verde and everyone's favorite and of course a Filipino restaurant cannot miss the Bagoong with the right hint of spicy from those Siling Labuyo.

Right now they have a promo until the end of August. You can enjoy a free taco or tortilla for a minimum purchase of 250 Php. What a sweet deal if you ask me! They also offer weekend specials like this Medio Pollo or half roasted chicken. Only available during weekends. The full menu and other dishes also shown below.

Our family invites you to visit Panza Llenos at CityPark Subdivision in Sabang, Lipa City. The restaurant is open Tuesday - Sundays from 11 am to 8 pm. You may also reserve any day for special occasions for small gatherings. The intimate ambiance will help your party be a hit, but of course even with just the delicious food it will already set the right mood. Follow them on facebook or instagram for the latest updates.

Pili Paninap

2019-06-30T22:11:00.001-07:00

Nestled in Mt. Daraitan of the Sierra Madre, you can find a magical place called Pili Paninap. We had a get together for Jona and her kids while they were vacationing in Manila. Quite a few of our high school classmates brought our families with us. I actually live closest to the mountains but I still marveled at how green it is when we got there. I told my sons who turned 15 and 12 just a few days ago that I needed to bring them to the heart of the mountain to get them unplugged. The farm has it all from Philippine endemic deer, a wading river, sumptuous food, horseback riding, and really comfortable lodges to stay overnight. It was such a sweet experience for us all.

Now we know that the measure of one fifteen year old Chase is equal to three kids. I am proud of how my sons interacted with the little kids. They set up the tent and played with them in the river. we tend to lose teenagers to a world of their own. They also got excited with the small campfire we made to make smores.

Incidentally, it was also Sam's 14th birthday last Sunday. We were all glad we could celebrate this milestone with him. His Mommy had to handcarry his birthday cake while on commute and it took her two trains, a taxi in terrible traffic, a tricycle to meet her husband on the foothills of the mountains. They drove through the fog at night to get the cake into the camp but it was all worth it for Sam's smile the next morning when we sang him his birthday song.

I've known these nerds (yes we say it with pride) for about twenty-five years now. Happy to get to know their cute little ones too.

As for the kids -- I think they were more excited to meet Sierra and the other animals in the farm.

Siargao 2019

2019-05-08T22:19:00.002-07:00

Once an expat friend told me that the only way to see the beauty of the Philippines was to go to the islands. Leave the polluted and crowded metro and head to the tropical paradise. We have 7,000 islands to chose from and sometimes we just find it easier to go abroad for our vacations. I was quite happy to have seen the beauty of Siargao on this MES trip with my office friends. While most of them have gone to different companies now, we still get together quite often and I consider them part of my life long friends. John was on a business trip, Zib had classes, and Chase was doing his apprenticeship in Lipa -- so I was alone on this trip. The first summer MES without them! But it was a nice experience bunking with the single ladies and just minding myself for the entire trip. I do regret not having them because Siargao was really beautiful. It was still rustic and very green. Most of the establishments are eco-friendly and are after sustainable eco-tourism. I promise myself that I would go back with the boys someday.

First order of business was to check-in Casa Bianca and Villa Maya. These two are just walking distance from each other in Catangnan (not beach front), but I would highly recommend staying there if you don't like the crowd. In Casa Bianca you could cook your own food and Villa Maya has an infinity pool overlooking a small golf course and lots of coconut trees.

We then caught the Cloud Nine Sunset on our first day. It was spectacular. I would have wanted to try out surfing but maybe for another day. Siargao after all is known to be the surfing capital of the Philippines.

Day two was spent exploring the island by a road trip to the North of the island. We explored Magpupungko, passed by Pacifico, and beach bummed at Alegria. I fell in love with the rock pools created during low tide and took many photos. The beaches were very clean and the rocks were teeming with fishes. It is just right that these pools are accessible only low tide.

We had dinner at L'Osteria and I was quite impressed that they were able to serve authentic Italian fare in the island. Of course, it was a different event from the entire just sitting by a straw mat on the beach drinking ice cold beer. That was a different kind of cool too..

Last full day in Siargao we went island hopping covering the nearby islands: Naked Island, Daku, and Guyam. There we had what I was craving for: seafood boodle by the beach! Yum!

Before we headed home, we tried eating a healthy brunch at Cafe Loka near the Cloud Nine Beach. I was sunburned but very happy having experienced island life for a couple of days. I daydreamed a little that I lived on this island, living a simple and sustainable life.

PS. Ito ang Pilipinas! Ang ganda!

A Luau for Inay

2019-05-08T21:23:00.003-07:00

Seems to be a trend here to have a luau to celebrate a parent turning sixty. It's just been a few months since we had one for Papa. When my mother-in-law turned sixty my SIL decided to have a surprise luau for her in one of the private resorts in Lipa. Everyone was in on the surprise and even her office-mates gamely pretended that there was a Data Privacy seminar she needed to attend. So Inay was quite surprised when her dearest of family and friends showed up to celebrate her sixtieth birthday. She is quite deserving of the surprise since she has worked hard for her family throughout these years and have recently decided to retire as well. She worked as a registrar in a college in Lipa and this year marked her 38th year in service. It was quite a festive event and I'm happy that my youthful mother-in-law got to feel the love. It is after all quite a blessing to be able to have a career and retire surrounded by family.

Try Local

2019-04-25T20:38:00.003-07:00

I was lucky on the choice of hotel in Kyoto. I really didn't research the location before I booked it. I just looked for a relatively cheap accommodation and booked it. The day before I my no cancellation fee expired I checked the rates and low and behold it got cheaper! Now, I don't want to ask myself if I should have done that for our Osaka hotel as well. I shouldn't complain really because the rates I got had breakfast for five people in the first hotel and it was brand new.

When we got there I was so happy to find our hotel very close to the Metro and a couple of attractions. This helped us save on transportation costs as well. Our last full day in Japan, we just stayed within a kilometer radius of the hotel and checked out the sites there. First we woke up late, because all the attractions in the last four days woke us up like crazy early hours. We then looked for a highly rated restaurant nearby. I found Pound Steak House looking for Kobe beef and we all enjoyed their hearty lunch menu. I found that most restaurants serve a cheaper lunch menu than dinner so if you want to splurge on the more expensive restaurants I suggest to go for lunch. We didn't have reservations but we got there a few minutes before opening and had no problem at all.

Aly really wanted to dress up in a kimono. We tried this in Korea and I knew it would be more costly in Japan and since it was a last minute decision, we just looked for a kimono rental nearby. I think it was a tad more expensive than the ones online but this one had a short photo shoot in their very nice studio and hair styling included. Aly was beyond excited to try it out.

We then dropped off the boys and Mama at the Kyoto International Manga Museum which was more of a library than a museum but fit the purposes of a day care of tourists who didn't want to do more walking. It was nice to experience a library because we don't really have them here. Plus they have an english section and you could read Manga to your heart's content.

Aly and I then made our way to Nijo Castle. There were not a lot of people in this attraction which was just perfect for me. Sometimes I feel like a sheep going to popular tourists spot - herded part of the crowd and seeing more people than the place itself. We got the castle tour which was so worth the additional entrance fee and then we toured the grounds and was pleasantly surprised that cherry trees were still in bloom here. I took hundreds of photos of Aly in her kimono here but she took a few snaps of me as well. Good thing because I didn't really have a lot of photos on this trip.

The castle closed at 4 pm which meant we went back to the museum in time to fetch the boys and have an early dinner. On the way to dinner we passed by a Japanese bakery and bought a lot of bread. We found an authentic Yokohama okonomiyaki place near our hotel run by two ladies and had the best okonomiyaki and teppanyaki dinner. After dinner, Aly and I checked out Maeda coffee for some cake and it was yum. We didn't forget to bring back some sweets for the boys but then again they were very happy with Onigiri midnight snacks we would buy at a nearby convenience store. So yeah, I think this Japan trip was one for the books -- and we got lucky with the neighborhood of our hotels.

PS.
The best ramen we had was also the one near our first hotel ~ so sometimes it pays to try out the local neighborhood restaurants and shops.

Kyoto 2019

2019-04-24T21:07:00.001-07:00

After making a decision to skip the iconic Osaka castle (because of our poor feet) we headed to Kyoto. We took the express train with our luggage and reached the city in no time. We had some trouble getting separated at the subway because by then my mother was already insisting on taking the elevators and finding our hotel because it didn't have a big enough sign in English. However these things are trivial and sometimes necessary to get your bearings at a new place. In no time we were navigating Kyoto with ease.

Our first agenda in Kyoto was to find their Catholic Cathedral also called Kawaramachi Church or Saint Francis Xavier Cathedral. It was after all the Holy Week and we have not done any of our usual visita iglesia. We found it and prayed the Stations of the Cross. The kids so wanted to try the sushi conveyor belt and we stopped by the first one we saw. I knew that Ippudo and Ichiran, famed ramen places were nearby in Nishiki but by then there was nothing that could get in between Zib and his sushi. He finished off ten plates of very affordable sushi and bested the rest of us.

We then made our way to Nishiki, stopping to do a bit of shopping and food tasting. I would have wanted to try more food but because our bellies were full we trudged on to find the subway and make our way back to the hotel.

It was a good idea to book a bus tour the next day. While these kinds of tours usually cost more, it actually allows you to visit more attractions in one day, limiting the amount of time you have to just walking around taking photos. The tour we booked covered Arashiyama including Tenryugi Temple and the famous bamboo grove, Kinkaku-ji Temple, and Fushimi Inari.

Universal Studios Japan

2019-04-23T22:15:00.002-07:00

We are not theme park goers. I see some of my friends and they regularly go to theme parks with their kids but so far we've only brought the kids to Universal Studios Singapore in 2013 and the various theme parks of Dubai since we spent two weeks there. We've never even been to Disneyland. Anyway, my sister who was a Harry Potter fan had USJ on her must-see places so we had in on our itinerary to spend one day there. I thought it would be fun to recreate some of our photos from our trip in Singapore and marvel at how big the kids have grown.

We only went to four rides in total because we didn't want to spend a lot of time falling in line and our feet still ached from the previous day of walking. The boys were even too cool to have photos taken with the mascots but my sister sure had fun buying merchandise and just going around the park taking lots of photos. Zib wore his Katski jacket from Naruto and Aly was in her wizard outfit.

We really didn't venture to ride any roller coasters. I've decided a long time ago that they weren't for me and I'm not really missing out. It was fun to let Mama ride the 4D Spiderman though since it was her first time to try it.

Japan Mint Cherry Blossoms

2019-04-22T18:43:00.001-07:00

We got to Japan in the late season of cherry blossoms, most of the ones in popular spots have already completed their peak bloom but I found a post that says that the Japan Mint Bureau was still on its last day of cherry blossom viewing. For one week in mid-April the government office opens its gate for the locals to view the 300 or so cherry trees on its property. These trees are of the late blooming type and we were able to catch the festival on its last day. This tradition has started in the Edo period and it was interesting to see a lot of the locals flock towards Japan Mint to just have a glimpse of the blooms and enjoy the local food served in a variety of stalls along the river.

There are several varieties of the blossoms in the Mint Bureau and it was an experience to see all of them even with the huge crowds.

Of course walking through the blooms and the quite far subway station contributed to another couple thousand steps to the one we took at Nara earlier in the day and I tell you our legs were hurting and cramping by the end of it. So while it is a great idea to experience cherry blossoms with the locals -- I would suggest to do it on a lighter itinerary day.