The Undrafted Free Agent

How the NBA Rules on Fouls

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sun, 10 May 2009 16:12:00 +0000

Just two rounds into the playoffs, there have been plenty of fouls and confrontations for the NBA to review. Just yesterday, they announced that Kendrick Perkins would not be suspended for elbowing Mikael Pietrus in the throat, despite previously saying elbows were an automatic suspension.

So, I must ask, how does the NBA come to their conflicting decisions?

Though some in the Tinfoil Hat Brigade think there are more sinister motivations behind the NBA's inconsistent rulings (MONEY!), I have only one explanation.

Somewhere, deep within the NBA's headquarters, there is a room. In that room, Stern and Jackson gather around a circle, which is broken into sections. The sections have labels: Suspension, $25,000 Fine, Flagrant-1, Flagrant-2, and No Action. Commissioner Stern grabs a chicken and bites off its head. He places the chicken in the center of the circle. The chicken walks, the chicken falls, and the NBA's ruling is made.

Cheering for the Enemy?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Tue, 05 May 2009 00:53:00 +0000

Each playoff series brings a playoff loser. On Saturday, my Bulls joined the ranks of the defeated. Now, I am now faced with a difficult question: For the remainder of the playoffs, should I throw my support behind the former enemy, the Celtics, or their opponent, the Magic?

After a heated series, my natural response was to side with Dwight and the Magic. Like most homers, I detested everything that I felt Boston represented, from lousy fans and dirty players, like Rajon Rondo, to cocky scrubs. I grew to hate almost all of the Celtics, with the exception being Brian Scalabrine. (I challenge you to hate on a daywalker with a headband.) Though those feelings have begun to lessen, I don't think I'll be able to cheer for Garnett or Rondo.

Still, I have found myself hoping for a win. A quick playoff exit wouldn't look good for the Celtics and, therefor, the Bulls. A loss would damage the legend of a great series while each series win builds upon it. Plus, I guess it's better to lose to the champions than to be cut down by an also-ran.

Needless to say, I'm torn. So I ask, random Internet friends, which side would you take?

Linton Johnson Disses, Accurately Describes KG

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sat, 02 May 2009 19:57:00 +0000

Kevin Garnett is an emotional guy. It physically pains him, we're told, to sit on the bench, unable to play in the Bulls-Celtics series. Still, he gets plenty of camera time. Just look at this picture:
But don't let all those shots of KG on the Celtics' bench fool you. According to Chicago Bulls forward Linton Johnson, the Battle of the Benches clearly favors the Bulls. In fact, he broke down the depth of Chicago's ~~cheer squad~~ bench, throwing in a jab at Kevin Mothafuckin' Garnett.

"Lindsey, like the Vanguard. So we follow Lindsey," Johnson said. "We've got the muscle with Aaron. We've got a heck of a bench. If they ever turn that camera down on our end, they've got something really good. KG's by himself, but we've got the whole clan down there."

Do the Bulls' reserves ever hear what Garnett is yelling?

"We can read his lips," Johnson said. "With him, it's easy. He only says about five words."

Linton Johnson, you are my new favorite player.

Adventures in Online Poker

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 01:55:00 +0000

Like many of you, I became interest in playing poker by watching the pros like Phil Ivey, Howard Lederer, and Daniel Negreanu during the the explosion of the professional poker and the World Series of Poker on ESPN a few years ago. My friends and I would get together on Friday nights and play for a few hours and a couple bucks, which was always pretty fun for us. A few days ago, I began looking at poker sites on the Internet to continue playing for fun and to improve my poker playing skills.

In my search for a free online casino, I stumbled across the Online Casino Spotlight, a gem of a site complete with informative online casino reviews. Online Casino Spotlight ranks Internet casino sites based on factors such as welcome bonuses and payout percentages. I really like that they feature in-depth reviews of each site in their rankings, detailing important features and other details like common languages and cashier options, which is even more important than pure rankings. These are all key factors in my decision on a poker site.

Online Casino Spotlight also provides valuable information on the online casino gambling itself, letting me know what exactly I needed to do to get started, especially in terms of payment, as well as general site policies. They even have tips specifically for poker (like playing free games before I start gambling with real money), as well as other casino games like blackjack, craps, and roulette. These features, again, are extremely helpful.

With the aid of Online Casino Spotlight, I was able to take my poker game from a crowded dining room table to the virtual world of the best online casino, while allowing me to continue developing my skills. Maybe you'll see me on ESPN2 within the next few years.

Can I Get a Baseball Card Guide?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:40:00 +0000

Like most Americans, fresh off of Thanksgiving, I hit the shopping mall on Black Friday. It wasn't by choice. (I was dragged there against my will, I swear). Toy stores and the like aren't my definition of fun, to be honest.

Fortunately, I was able to escape into the friendly confines of a baseball card store. In my younger years, like many of you I'm sure, I was an avid card collector. I recall spending much of my time negotiating trades with my friends, making the deal, and watching as they ran to the baseball card guide to see how much their new cards were worth (and often times to discover I had ripped them off). It was fun then, but that was ages ago.

However, walking through the aisles of the store, examining the cases of cards, I was reminded of the joy those cards brought me. The sets of 1989 baseball cards and 1990 baseball cards reminded me of my glory days as a card dealer and, really, as a fan.

So I guess my Black Friday wasn't so bad after all. Plus, now I have a few decks of cards and a baseball card guide wrapped, waiting for me under the tree.

Dear LeBron James...

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:57:00 +0000

Your Highness,

Let me preface my comments by saying this: You're a great player. Nobody, absolutely nobody, has your combination of speed, strength, intelligence, and skill. You will be a legend of the game, which is why I'm writing you.

We both know you're great. You don't have to work the cameras like you do. Just look at yourself in these pictures.

After each dunk, each highlight, you face the crowd, the scrub trying to guard you, or your teammates. More often, you face the the cameras. You pose. You scream. You do everything, except run back down the court.

Why? So we take notice of your greatness? Sorry, but we already have.

Last Wednesday,you took to dancing midplay. You shook your leg, your body, and Drew Gooden. You freed up Delonte West for an open three. But what made the nightly highlights? This: "OmGZ! Luk at Leebrone!"

Again, I ask you to stop. Enough is enough.

Sincerely,

Mr. Crimson

Linebackers: An Assembly Guide

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 13:45:00 +0000

The linebacker was created with a single purpose: play a support role for the defensive line, much like a safety provides protect for a cornerback. Of course, as with anything, the position developed into much more than that.

Didja know Ray Lewis was pretty good?

The most important thing to remember when thinking linebacker is assignment, assignment, assignment. Much like a safety, they need to be quite versatile. Even in schemes that ask just specific tasks from their linebackers, versatility is a linebacker's best friend.

Historically, linebacker has been a position where, based on scheme, they can be vital stars of the defense or simple role players. Because their assignments can be so diverse in most defensive schemes, you will often find offensive lines adjusting their protection schemes based on what they percieve from the linebackers. A good LB corps can conceal their true intentions by masking it with something that percieves an entirely different assignment. While it sounds simple, it's no easy task, and requires some smart play from all three (or four) backers.

Defensive fronts also play a big part in how linebackers are used and what assignments are given to each one. The basic two base fronts, the 4-3 and 3-4, are more deeply explained in the Football Schemes guide.
Skill sets

Linebackers have a wide variety of skills that all types of linebackers have to varying degrees. While they can get by being really good at only 1 or 2 of these, the best linebackers are athletic enough to do it all with success.

Speed. Not entirely vital, but a speedy linebacker -- or at least a linebacker with some burst to their initial movements -- can be great for nullifying off-tackle runs and or blitzing.
Tackling. Linebackers need to be able to solo tackle, preventing larger gains.
Covering. This goes for both zone and man assignments, though zone assignments at this position are more likely. They need to be able to locate the ball and contain their man or zone with authority. A linebacker good in coverage will be able to eliminate a majority of the easier over-the-middle catches with a good separating hit or simply by blocking the throwing lane.
Jamming. Particularly the outside backers and especially the weak-side backer, a linebacker needs to be able to (occasionally) move into the slot and jam the receiver long enough to disrupt the timing or force the receiver into the corners zone.
Recognition. As with most of the defensive positions, recognition can be vital. It can be the difference between -5 yards and a gain of 20 yards. A linebacker with good field awareness and recognition skills can put an end to a play before it even begins.
Block-shedding. They need to be able to shed the occasional blocker to make plays,which is hard when you are usually outweighed by a good amount. However, playing with smart leverage and hand movement/placement can shed any tight end or make it possible to shed a guard off you who has made it to the second level. This can become vital in run stopping situations against tough offensive lines.
Pass-rushing. Being able to shed a blocker sometimes isn't enough. Sometimes you need a linebacker to bring the heat and get behind the offensive line. This requires not only good leverage, strength and hand movement, but the genuine athleticism required to spin, swim, club and bull past offensive linemen.

While most linebackers only shine in one or two of these areas, they will still sometimes become stars. It depends on the scheme and what they will be asked to do; if a scheme requires the middle linebacker either to play a mid-field zone or to blitz in most of the plays, a speedy linebacker with some pass rush ability could become a star in that role. In a different scheme, if that middle linebacker is required to play a man up role on the running back and stuff the run, a speedy guy with good tackling skills and recognition will become the star.

4-3 Outside Linebackers

Outside linebackers in a 4-3 front are referred to as Will (for the weak, or non-tight end side) and Sam (for the strong, or tight end side).

Their roles will vary from defense to defense, but the genuine premise behind it is covering the area between the hash and the cornerback with run and coverage support based on their assignment for that play call.

While many defenses nowadays ask the same things of their outside linebackers (though not always the same assignments on the same playcall), there is a consensus view of the accepted strengths/weaknesses/roles of each. Some teams still use this formula, but as with everything else in the modern NFL, it's become much more diverse.

Sam linebackers are generally the bigger, stronger backers, better able to shed the block of a tight end. They line up over the tight end most of the time, and often times they are asked to jam and cover the end in passing situations. They usually get help from the strong safety in those cases

Will linebackers are generally the faster, more athletic linebackers. They are often called into zone coverage assignments and asked to cover or jam slot receivers in certain situations. They often cover the running back that attacks his side of the field first in man coverage, while covering the weak flat or hook/curl areas in zone coverage assignments.

4-3 Middle Linebackers

Middle linebackers in a 4-3 front are referred to as the Mike linebacker. They are usually responsible for receiving the defensive signals and relaying them to the rest of the unit. You could say they are the "quarterback of the defense."

Again, the roles they play vary from defense to defense. Generally, the Mike backer is assigned to protect the area between the hash marks and shut down the running back.

Depending on the scheme, they may simply be assigned to a particular gap, as would the outside linebackers. But the more popular use of a Mike linebacker is in pure run support from sideline to sideline, supporting both the defensive line and outside linebackers. Mid-field zones are also quite popular in passing situations. For all this, they are usually the most well-rounded and versatile linebacker on the field with the best ability to bring down a ball carrier 1 on 1.

Dealing with interior linemen from the offensive getting to the second level becomes a big problem with some middle linebacker, and it's become more and more of a neccessity for the Mike to be able to shed even the best blockers at times. A guy like Ray Lewis, as talented as he is, struggles at this aspect of the game and requires a large defensive front to ensure his freedom of movement.

3-4 Outside backers

Since the 3-4 is a scheme designed to conceal the fourth rusher, the outside linebackers in a 3-4 are often very pass-rush capable linebackers who possess the athleticism to be effective in zone and run coverages. This is quite a demanding position; not many pure linebackers are capable of being both a pass rusher and a run stuffer.

The weakside 3-4 backer is the one with the better pass rush ability. Playing opposite the tight end, they rely on the weakside defensive end to hinder the offensive tackle's ability to block them on the rush. They need to be quite athletic, speedy and capable of beating tackles to the edge to disrupt the quarterback. Outside of a pass rush assignment, they are generally responsible for covering the running back coming out of the backfield.

DeMarcus Ware is among the NFL's best, combining pass-rushing skills with run-stopping abilities.

The strongside 3-4 backer is the one with the more well rounded skill set. They must be able to rush the passer successfully, but will also be required to play coverage against the tight end and support the run coverage. They will usually pass the coverage of a running back coming out of the backfield to the strongside inside linebacker.

Because 3-4 outside linebacker requires such pass rush talents while remaining strong against the run, college defensive ends in 4-3 schemes are often drafted in an attempt to convert them to a 3-4 outside linebacker. They usually have pass rush ability, and -- having played on a defensive line -- they are already instinctively concerned about stopping the run. In the case of pure speed rushers like Dwight Freeney, these guys do not project to this position because they are usually not as stout against the run as a bigger pass rusher with a blend of power and speed rushing skills.

3-4 Inside Linebackers

Responsible for playing the role of Mike, Will and Sam, the inside linebackers must be strong in shedding blockers, playing the run, and covering the middle of the field in zone. Occasionally, depending on play call, the weakside inside linebackers will be required to play the role of Mike while the strongside backer plays in pass coverage, and vice versa. They need to be pretty versatile for those reasons.

The strongside inside backer is responsible for the tight endl, sharing many of the duties of a 4-3 Sam backer while splitting the duties of the Mike backer with the weakside linebacker.

The weakside inside linebacker will occasionally be responsible for maintaining a strong mid-field zone and has many of the duties that Will in a 4-3 would. He, too, splits the duties of the Mike backer with the other inside linebacker.

Summarizing it all

Linebackers are the safeties of the front 7. Depending on the scheme, they will have many different roles in a defense, but it all revolves around supporting the efforts of the down linemen and, occasionally, reinforcing the actions of the secondary. They need to be pure football players, capable of doing whatever is asked of them while maintaining a strong skill set, one that reflects what their team's scheme requires from the position.

While some defenses will require their linebackers to take a passive "wait and see" role and hold their ground, breaking big plays before they happen and giving up ground in small bits, others will ask their backers to be aggressive and attack plays with blitzes and proactive run coverage. Each of those schemes and every one in between require different forms of effort from each linebacker. You always need the right backer for the job.

8.14.08: Bringin' Home the Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:31:00 +0000

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I dig through the Sportopia to find the best posts to share with you, my loyal readers, like a father bringing home the bacon (or something like that). Now, I'm Bringin' Home the Blogs...

Racism in Spanish sports began long before the "slant-eyed" pictures. RUMORS AND RANTS has a rundown of the incidents, ranging from one-liners to organized chants. I find it amazing that people like Spanish columnist Jamie Martin justify this crap.

Spaniards want you to know this is, in now way, racist. Yep.

Since we're on the topic, CUZOOGLE has Jose Calderon's response to the outcry over the photo. Apparently, it was just a wink.

Steven Jackson, who continues to holdout, is really screwing with fantasy footballers. Will he be be the same? How far should his stock drop? Why did he have to do this?!?!!? The DEUCE OF DAVENPORT is certain on one thing: he's pissed!

After noting Xavier Lee's failed career, Rick Gosselin of WFAA examined how other 2004 Parade All-Americans have faired. Which ones transferred to D-II? Who's in the NFL? Gosh, I'm a sucker for this type of thing.

Jeremy Schaap won't stop staring at DAVE LOZO. I can only imagine the horror.

8.12.08: Bringin' Home the Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:36:00 +0000

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I dig through the Sports Blogtopia to find the best posts to share with you, my loyal readers, like a father bringing home the bacon (or something like that). Now, I'm Bringin' Home the Blogs...

In a great piece of (realistic) Olympic fiction, evil Yao and the Chinese commies scheme to snatch America's lone chance at redemption, trapping the "Redeem Team." Who, if anyone, is brave enough save them and the freedom they represent? Go to BLACK HEAR GOLD PANTS and join the fun!

Will this man be able to thwart China's sinister plot?

Are youth basketball coaches so focused on winning that player development takes a backseat? Yes, according to former NBA coach turned blogger ERIC MUSSELMAN.

THE LEGEND OF CECILIO GUANTE takes a look at the Yankees' failed youth movement. Talk about bringing smiles to the faces of Yankee haters everywhere!

Louis Williams, Sixers guard and future stud, signed a five-year, $25 million contract extension last week. In due time, he will be a bargain, writes EMPTY THE BENCH.

Now for some breaking news, courtesy of the WALKOFF WALK. The Reds pitchers are struggling, but fortunately for them, manager Dusty Baker knows the cure: running. That Dusty Baker sure knows how to handle young pitchers.^[1]

1. Friedell, Nick. "Did Dusty Baker learn nothing from Mark Prior and Kerry Wood?", Big League Stew.

Chris Kaman is a Hair Stylist!?!!?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:39:00 +0000

Of all the news that I missed over the last week, nothing was more shocking than learning that Chris Kaman is a barber. For a refresher, here are a few pictures of Chris Kaman.

How does anybody turn to Chris Kaman for a haircut? Apparently, I wasn't the only one thinking along these same lines. Below is an exchange between Brad Townsend of the Dallas Morning News and Jason Kid.

Kidd: "Hey, have you talked to Dirk?"
Townsend: "Yeah. Have you seen his hair?"
Kidd: "Yeah. Man, who did that?"
Townsend: "Chris Kaman. If you are Dirk and you make his money, do you let Chris Kaman cut your hair?"
Kidd: "No way."

As you might have imagined, I would never let Chris Kaman touch my mane.

Kobe Starts His Hog, Or Why I Should Have Kept Watching

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:17:00 +0000

As I mentioned before, I skipped out on the end of the United States' thrashing of China. What a stupid mistake! I missed out on the following gem from Kobe. Thankfully, Tirico Suave has my back with the video and some masterful editing.

What About that Mariners Hat?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 01:04:00 +0000

Last Thursday, a reader named Bud wrote Hot Clicks to ask about a specific Seattle Mariners hat, pictured below. To his knowledge, a hat with this compass logo/color combination was never worn by the team. However, Bud needed some help from fellow readers to confirm his suspicion.
I tried my hand at helping him out. Needless to say, three hours and (well) over 200 Google Image Search pages later, I have decided to give up. Though the Mariners wore similar hats (shown here and here), I found no real pictures to lead me to believe such a hat "exists." I did find this picture of Alex Rodriguez, but that doesn't really prove anything either way.

Was my search a complete waste? In short, no. I stumbled across the autograph website that is selling this particular hat. For $100, you can buy the hat, complete with its (claimed) Ken Griffey, Jr. autograph. Before you do, give that autograph another take. It reads "Ken Griffey 8." If you will recall, Junior wore 24 while Senior sported 30.

Maybe the forger, when examining Griffey's autograph, confused the "Jr." for an eight. Maybe I'm mistaken, and the "Jr." only looks like an eight. This is what I know for sure: this picture is creating more and more questions.

EDIT: A commenter mentioned Griffey's "Jr." looks like an eight in his autographs. Here are four pictures for reference: 1, 2, 3, and 4. The autograph above looks to be a fairly perfect eight, while other autographs have other markings. Maybe it's just a result of a thicker marker? You be the judge.

The "Redeem Team" Beats China: Irrational Hate, Truth, and a Five-Point Summary

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:53:00 +0000

I, like President Bush, was one of one billion fans who chose to watch the "Redeem Team" take on Yao Ming and his Chinese brethren. The United States won by an unknown (to me) final score. I, like President Bush, stopped watching when the game was over instead of when the game was officially over.

LeBron and the U.S. steamrolled through China.

There were a few thoughts -- recurring themes, if you will -- that kept coming to mind as I watched the game. They are:

I really, really, really dislike Dwyane Wade. If he ever decides to play with intelligence instead of relying solely on his athleticism, he would be as good as he is portrayed to be. Unfortunately, I've been saying that for years now. Defensively, Wade is still incapable of sliding his feet; instead, he runs alongside offensive players, jetting into passing lanes. Thankfully for the U.S., his opponents have been unable to convert.
Dwyane Wade needs to stop cherry-picking. I'm sorry, but I had to give this its own bullet. At least two times, Wade strolled back on defense, reached the three-point line, and after a Chinese miss, sprinted to the offensive end for an easy dunk. You can call it cherry-picking or sand-bagging (or whatever else), but this fact remains: you wouldn't get away with that crap at the YMCA. D-Wade does it in the Olympics?
Chris Paul has improved defensively. I know, China's guards aren't the physical types that typically give him fits, but Chris Paul was noticeably this time around. Following an exhibition game against China two years ago, I wrote this: "While I’m bashing some of the NBA’s young stars, I might as well hoop on over to the Chris Paul bandwagon... where I subsequently beat the driver of the aforementioned wagon with a baseball bat. Chris Paul is quickly becoming the most overrated player in the NBA; sure, he’s a step above spectacular offensively, but he cannot stay in front of his man for the life of him (at which time I flash back to Carlos Arroyo shooting a lay-up while CP3 was still scratchin’ his head at the free throw line). At this point he isn’t even average defensively." Obviously, I can't write that anymore.
Jason Kidd has no business playing, let alone starting. During the telecast, Mike Breen mentioned that Dara Torres was an inspiration to an old-in-the-tooth Jason Kidd. I laughed. Torres -- despite her age -- posted the best split on her medley team, whereas Kidd is easily third-fiddle at his own position. Deron Williams and Chris Paul are better creators, shooters, and -- at least today -- defenders. Experience didn't really do much for Kidd.
LeBron James is really a fine player. Need I say more?

Gary Coleman Ejected in Baseball Debut!

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:34:00 +0000

Yesterday, we reported the Madison Mallards' contract offer to Gary Coleman. As it turns out, Coleman decided to accept their proposal and made his baseball debut last night. He was promptly thrown out.

Here's the video:
Thankfully, the ump comes through with a short joke!

Gary Coleman to Play Minor League Baseball?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 18:13:00 +0000

The Madison Mallards, a minor league baseball team in the midsts of a playoff push, are willing to win at all costs. The Mallards, in what is being considered an unprecedented move, have offered a contract to a former star: Gary Coleman of Different Strokes fame.

“As the Mallards prepare for the playoffs we feel that we need a special player to help put us over the top,” said Stenman. “Gary brings a lot of intangibles to the field and I feel like his presence would help invigorate our club as they get ready for a run at a championship. You can’t coach a strike zone like Gary has and I anticipate him being a force at the top of our lineup.”

Manager C.J. Thieleke is excited about the possibility to work with the star.

“I feel like he could develop a couple different strokes to rule the Northwoods League,” said Thieleke.

Under league rules, Coleman would not earn a paycheck for his play. He has yet to accept the contract offer. Until then, Mallards and their fans will be keeping their fingers crossed.

Tip of the Undrafted Free Agent's hat to THE SPORTS POINT.

Manny Ramirez Hates Troops, Kids With Cancer!

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:26:00 +0000

The Red Sox have ridded themselves of their major malcontent, Manny Ramirez, by trading him to the Dodgers. In the weeks leading up to the trade, it was obvious the relationship between club and star was deteriorating. I mean, just ask Buster Olney: it took Manny 5.7 seconds to run out a grounder; that's glacial in baseball terms!

As with any nasty breakup, both sides will try to paint the other as the bad guy. Manny had his turn yesterday, saying the Red Sox were a bunch of backstabbers. No word from the team.

I can only imagine what the writers, who no longer rely on Manny for interviews, will have to say...

Manny Ramirez beats on the elderly.
Manny Ramirez hates kids dying from cancer.
Manny Ramirez fakes injuries.
Manny Ramirez hits his teammates.
Manny Ramirez hates the troops.
Manny Ramirez didn't keep a promise that he made when he was in his teens.
Manny Ramirez is the biggest bum ever.

Wow.

So, Mr. Callahan, why wait until Manny was traded to share this with his (former) fans? Were you afraid to write, "Hey, you know that guy you fans adore? He's a real jerk," when the fans still supported him? Were you under orders to keep that stuff quiet? What gives?

Now, I'm not defending Manny Ramirez. Most likely, he is a jerk. I just love how some writers sit on this stuff until after the fact.

7.31.08: Bringin' Home the Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:19:00 +0000

Everyday, I dig through the Sports Blogtopia to find the best posts to share with you, my loyal readers, like a father bringing home the bacon (or something like that). Now, I'm Bringin' Home the Blogs...

Now on his fourth team, Kwame Brown may be fighting for his NBA career. That is, if he shows the desire to be an NBA player, writes EMPTY THE BENCH. So maybe I was presumptuous with that "fighting" word.

JOE SPORTS FAN gave Tyson Gay with his own MySpace page, and look at all the sports celebrities that stopped by!

I'm often approached on the streets by adoring fans who ask, "Hey, Ron, if you were a sports legend, what would you do?" Why, help a mob family buy my former team, of course! THE SPORTS POINT has the story of the soccer player who did just that.

Finally, today marks the end of July, and all I can say is "finally." RUMORS AND RANTS has the thirty-one reasons that really made it suck.

Olympic Opening Ceremony Is No Longer Ancient Chinese Secret

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:38:00 +0000

China brought out all the stops for the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. The country's most famous director, Zhang Yimou, spent three years designing a 10,000-man production that was to encompass 5,000 years of Chinese history.

The entire show was to be a grand surprise, a secret. That is, until those pesky South Koreans got involved. A video crew captured and aired images of whales, a colorful globe, high-flying performers, and a choreographed countdown during a rehearsal.

Sun Weide, an Olympics spokesperson, acknowledged the leak was "disappointing," but said "the fragments cannot demonstrate the full picture of the spectacular opening ceremony."

Whew! That's a relief!

So how, exactly, did the South Korean network even get into the rehearsal? There was no sneaking involved; all they had to do was show officials their ID cards.

In other news, researchers have discovered an inverse relationship between Chinese capitalism and (ancient) Chinese secret-keeping ability.

7.30.08: Bringin' Home the Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:48:00 +0000

Everyday, I dig through the Sports Blogdome to find the funniest, most informative postings to share with you, my loyal readers. Now, I'm Bringin' Home the Blogs...

THE WIZARD OF ODDS has a message to the Internetz from Coach Spurrier: "Don't tell my recruits about my players' arrests." Of course, I'm just paraphrasing.

"See! Even he knows three of the charges have been dropped!"

I have been known to complain about athletes bolting for more money. That's why one point, addressing loyalty, stood out in THE HARDBALL TIMES' reply to Buzz Bissinger.

Join THE SPORTS HERNIA for some fill-in fun featuring Aaron "____" Rodgers!

What happens when Oprah's book club and the NBA collide? You get another great set of fun photoshops from CUZOOGLE. The D'Antoni Code is good, but the plot structure is strikingly similar to Angels & Demons.

"Can every athlete in the world be tied to Derek Jeter through his many Hollywood Flings?" THE WORLD OF ISAAC gave it a good try.

WARNING: Before clicking the following link, be prepared to invest at least 30 minutes watching videos. With twenty dunk attempts gone painfully wrong, ATHLISTS shows there are twenty ways to die while dunking the basketball.

If 30 seconds sounds better, here's the nastiest of all the videos.

7.29.08: Bringin' Home the Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:47:00 +0000

In what will become a daily feature, I will dig through Sports Blogdome to find the funniest, most informative postings. I'm Bringin' Home the Blogs...

What happens when a Syracuse football recruit doesn't give Coach Robinson a call? As TROY NUNES IS AN ABSOLUTE MAGICIAN shows, the coach leaves one hilarious phone message.

Robinson is probably one of the few normal football coaches.

Matt Millen, resembling a certain Caddyshack character in TIRICO SUAVE'S mind, shot a groundhog. Who did he consult when it came time to create a groundhog stew? None other than ESPN's favorite formerly-retired quarterback.

After years of Yankee fans questioning Goose Goosage's Hall of Fame snub, he finally made it. According to one writer at BUGS & CRANKS, we should end the injustice and let every Yankee into Cooperstown.

So, how about Fernando Tatis? He's had a pretty strong resurgence. Maybe we should give him some props, says THE LEGEND OF CECILIO GUANTE.

JUICED SPORTS BLOG is in search of Loser-ville, USA. Chances the winner will be some high school town? There is no chance, thankfully.

White Sox Fan Beaten By Cubs Fans, Loses Eye

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:15:00 +0000

Disturbing news out of Chicago today: Drunken Cubs fans acted like drunken Cubs fans. That wasn't good news for the lone White Sox backer in the group:

McHenry County authorities say three Chicago Cubs fans face felony battery charges after allegedly beating a Chicago White Sox fan so badly he lost his right eye.

The men are accused of beating 32-year-old Robert Steele of Gurnee during a 2-year-old girl's Sesame Street-themed birthday party.

Police said Monday the men were drinking alcohol at the July 19th party and taunting Steele.

This is just the latest in a growing trend of rivalry violence. In May, a Yankee-loving woman drove her car into and killed a Red Sox fan after an argument -- which consisted of creative chants like "Yankees suck!" -- (shockingly) in a bar. Then earlier this month, a group of Red Sox fans beat a man with a baseball bat, figuring his New York license plates meant he was a Yankees fan. He wasn't, and they weren't even drunk.

So what does this all mean? People shouldn't get plastered when they are with a rival.

Great T-Shirt for Evil Mets Fans!

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:36:00 +0000

Shea Stadium is as dangerous as ever: Another fan fell off the escalator, leading to serious injuries. Man, riding on the handrails might not have been a great idea.

Here at the Undrafted Free Agent, little sympathy is spared for stupidity. As such, we have created a t-shirt for like-minded Mets fans. Enjoy.

Front

Back

Josh Hamilton's Not So Inspirational Story

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:20:00 +0000

Nine years ago, Josh Hamilton was on top of the world, becoming the top draft pick of the (then) Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Early on, he didn't disappoint, showing his immense talent in the minor leagues.

Unfortunately, things didn't last. Hamilton began to struggle with injuries, and an addiction to cocaine began. In the years that followed, his life reached new lows: seven failed rehab attempts, five suicide tries, and (the least of his worries) three lost seasons.

Then in 2005, he turned things around. Having found strength in God, Hamilton's eight attempt at rehab worked. Two years later, he made his return to baseball with the Reds. He hit .292 with 19 home runs before being traded to the Rangers. He has yet to disappoint; the Hambino is hitting .308 with 22 homers and 98 RBI in route to his first All-Star appearance.

Oh, and he had 28 home runs in the first round of the Home Run Derby, adding frosting to the cake that is his recovery story. Who could resist such a perfect story? Nobody. Not the media. Not the public. Josh Hamilton was an inspiration for us all and addicts everywhere!

Shakespeare DiMaggio of Tirico Suave says not so fast; is Josh Hamilton really all that inspirational?

When I think of inspirational sports stories, I think of Lance Armstrong dominating the Tour De France after beating cancer. How about Ray Ray McElrathbey raising his younger brother and playing Division One ball for Clemson. Jim Abbott overcoming his disability and carving out a nice Major League Career. Or even Jason McElwain dropping 20 in 4 minutes. I don’t think of a guy who dealt with the adversity of an injury by taking up crack.

The people who would best identify with Josh Hamilton's story would be fellow drug addicts. But would they find all that much inspiration? Your run-of-the-mill junkie can't afford quality rehab clinics, let alone eight. Your average addict doesn't have a handler following him around, making sure he stays away from his vices.

The typical junkie isn't a talented baseball player.

If I was a drug addict, I think I might even resent Josh Hamilton.

WKU Football Team Goes Door-to-Door Selling Tickets

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:31:00 +0000

Are you having trouble drawing fans to your football games? Do you want to create a connection with the fans while building team chemistry? Would you like to gain a better understanding of the business of college football?

Well, if you are play for Western Kentucky's football team, selling tickets door-to-door is for you!

Starting next week, nearly 100 WKU players and coaches will hit the pavement of local neighborhoods offering season tickets for $25. They will be split into for teams, and the team that sells the most wins a steak dinner.

“We had tremendous success with this initiative last year, and I am pleased we will be doing it again,” WKU coach David Elson said. “It enables our team to interact with the community that gives us such great support while also giving our student-athletes a unique perspective to the business side of athletics.

“I also believe good-natured competitions such as this help build team chemistry.”

Hopefully the sale is a success for WKU. Just watch out for any locals who open their doors expecting Girl Scout Cookies only to find football tickets.

Papelbon and Wife Threatened By New York Fans

noreply@blogger.com (Drew H.) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:15:00 +0000

Who would threaten a pregnant women? If she is carrying Jonathan Papelbon's baby and is his wife, a small minority of Yankee fans would. Or, at the very least, they would create a situation that makes her feel threatened.

That's what happened during MLB's All-Star parade down the New York streets. Now, we have video of some of the remarks directed at the couple.

For some crazy reason, I bet they heard worse.