Unexpected Mercies

We're not "black" & "white" but BROWN

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Mon, 26 May 2014 23:21:00 +0000

image from www.macmakeup.us

Last spring I was out shopping with the family. I saw a beautiful orange floral skirt and tried it on. When I came out of the dressing room to show my husband, the response was something about needing a tan (he was right). As I changed out of this beautiful yet not right for my skin tone skirt, I chuckled to myself. I had picked out a color that would look AMAZING against my daughter's beautiful dark skin and apparently forgot how pale I am! Then I marveled at the thought of how much money is spent at tanning beds so people can achieve darker skin tones yet it really wasn't all that long ago that people were (sadly) divided because of how dark their skin was or wasn't...ironic!?

When I was in Middle School in the early 90's, my church youth group attended "Young Christians Weekend" at Silver Dollar City. I wish I could remember the name of the speaker we had that weekend so I could give him credit but I'll never forget him holding up his Bible with a black leather cover and white pages and asking us what colors his Bible was made up of; then relating that to the words we so often use to describe the color of people's skin. His point was, if he held up the pages of his Bible to someone we called a "white person" they wouldn't actually be as white as the pages in his Bible. If he held up the cover of his Bible against someone we called a "black person"they wouldn't actually be dark enough to match the color black. Instead, we all have varying amounts of brown in us. His analogy always stuck with me. Fast forward a few years (just a few ;) ) and as we prepared to grow our family, I thought on this analogy many more times.

Wes & I had talked some about what we would try to do when our kids asked questions about our different colored skins. We thought a lot about Luke 18:16-17:

"But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.""

Based on this verse, obviously Jesus thinks a lot of child like innocence and I wonder if he would ask them questions just to enjoy hearing how they would respond...I digress. We decided that rather than being politically correct with what we should call our skin colors, we should remind them of our similarities and see how they define it in their own words. What can be more innocent and less offensive than that?

As their language skills developed, they initially referred to the difference as light skin and dark skin. As language developed more and we learned more about colors, they used the words "pale" and "brown." Even more recently they've used the word "tan" which I'll gladly let accept over pale (!!) and since they've had some other ethnicities in their classes and friend groups, they'll talk about those friends being a little darker than mommy but not as dark as they are. I can't help but smile when Amiya is coloring a picture of our family and is frantically searching for the Tan crayon, not the white one. I also had to laugh when a friend and I were wearing similar colors and the same color boots. The kids noticed those similarities so we started pointing out others similarities and differences. Our friend said "Is our skin the same color?" The kids thought about it for a long minute and Malakai said "you're a little bit darker than mommy, but not a lot."

When I think about Genesis 1:27, how many people there are in the world and how each and every person is different yet still created in His image, I can't help but be in awe of how creative our God is...to think, no 2 people look exactly alike...I don't think I could draw 10 stick people that look different!

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them."

I'm oh so thankful for the variety of browns and knowing those shades were purposeful...especially as we creep up on shorts weather again (sigh). I find myself more and more sensitive to the terms "white/black person" and uncertain how to feel about those labels (if you will). I also find myself describing people differently than I used to. My husband said I need to finish this post with a point. I don't necessarily have one, just have these thoughts stirring around in my head and they've been there for a while. If I need to end with a point, it would be to remind you that we are each created in God's image and lets celebrate our similarities and differences rather than trying to define people by them. Which would bring me back to my favorite verse in Psalms 139

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

the Snowpocolypse in Alabama!

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 00:36:00 +0000

We often find ourselves in a "do/fix it myself" culture where we can often fix problems by ourselves or with very little contact with other people. This week has shown us how much better we can be when our community works together, when we allow ourselves to be the arms and legs of Christ to use our God-given talents, gifts and resources to help each other.

Growing up in the midwest and making the decision to move SOUTH for college, I never thought I'd find myself STUCK due to snow in Alabama!! Y'all, seriously! We've been joking about all the cold weather we've been having and calling it the "Snowpocolypse" but Tuesday really felt like it!

Tuesday (1/28/14) started much like any other day they've predicted flurries. I had a child sick at home and figured they would probably let school out early. The snow began to come down at our house around 10:30am. It was a beautiful snow but falling much quicker and sticking more than usual! Around 11:15, you could see it begin to stick to the roads as well, school was closing at 11:30. Great, I'll pull my car down to the bus stop to pick up Amiya. Next we heard they canceled bus service so off I go to pick her up at school. I slid into the curb at the first turn I had to make. At this point, I realized this wasn't an ordinary Alabama dusting, and was real glad I had a stick shift so I didn't always have to hit the breaks to slow down. The urge to hurry before the weather got worse set in; only I couldn't hurry, I was sliding everywhere! Oh have I mentioned Malakai and I haven't eaten lunch yet because I thought this would be a quick trip (mom of the year, right here)!? We live off of a windy, curvy back road and as I made my way about 3 miles from the house, I began to slide into a ditch around one of those curves. I backed up and tried again and slid again. There were already 2 cars in this same ditch so I knew where I was headed if I tried again. A kind man that was trying to assist those already in the ditch started bumping my car with his whole body to get me off the spot. Amazingly it worked & I didn't hit the cars on the other side of the road! I began shaking I was so nervous... HOW am I going to make it all the way to school! I got to a stop sign where I needed to turn left and it was a parking lot, cars had slid and were piled up facing all directions. Cell phones weren't working very well but I was able to text a friend who lives between our house and the school, very near where I was and asked if we could stop at her house. I thought it'd be for a short time while those cars got straightened up and cleared out a little. She let us raid her cabinets for some lunch while we watched and listened to news. It became very clear that it would not be safe for me to get out in this (my car slides in the rain...I'll be re-thinking all weather tires next time)! A few times I thought about trying to go back out in it but after talking to Wes about it, decided not to. He was out in it trying to help people and said not to go. I'm glad I listened and stayed put.

first slow down...those tire tracks are ICE!

We thought Amiya was going to have to stay the night at school. That was becoming reality for more and more parents. It feels miserable to think about the impossibilities to reach your child and that they might be sleeping at school, it doesn't help thinking about all those teachers who are already taking care of so many children throughout the day and now staying overnight but they were just as stuck as the parents were. Between moments of tears, I also had to remember that she was in a safe warm place that has food. This would be so much worse if we were stuck in a car somewhere without food or the proper clothing...many were stuck in that situation! Wes was finally able to reach Amiya around 8pm. A co-worker of Wes' who just moved here from Pennsylvania and had a 4 wheel drive vehicle and saved the day for us and a few others along the way. We all reached our house around 9:30pm. Both of our vehicles were in other locations but we were glad to be home.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case for everyone. Over 4,000 students and teachers in the area had to spend the night at their schools. Lots of people stayed at their businesses, fast food restaurants, hotel lobby's and in their cars overnight. It has not been pretty and it has not been fun but it has been encouraging to see how the community comes together to help complete strangers in a time like this.

A local Chick-fil-a used the resources they had on hand to feed drivers stuck on a major road turned parking lot. No strings attached, no money required (they could have held onto it, who knows how long they'd be stuck). I heard later that the Whole Foods just up the road from this Chick-fil-a was also allowing people to eat for free.

Icy roads street...is this REALLY Alabama!?

A friend who works at the Embassy Suites wrote on Facebook that they opened up their ball rooms for stranded motorists, A Homewood Suites did the same (as I'm sure others did).

We heard news stories about people who were walking (in business attire) and people driving by giving them extra clothes they had in their cars to stay warm (that they may have needed later). People using their 4 wheelers to help people get home, strangers being welcomed into strangers homes etc.

A Doctor who walked 6 miles to perform emergency brain surgery and save a life. We even have friends who were flown home & to get their son via helicopter! Teachers , administration and cafeteria workers who spent the night with children/students, comforting, feeding them and trying to make it as fun as possible.

finally all home together & taking advantage of the snow!

Here's a roundup of what some of our roads look like in pictures. Meteorologists may have totally missed this storm but they did the best they could with the technology they have available which is usually pretty accurate. To blame them to the degree many of them are getting blamed I don't think is fair. We've all had technology fail us at some point and it's NEVER convenient! No one could have thought it would be as bad as it was but I believe so many went above and beyond and it was an opportunity for our community to remember the things that are most important and to come together to help each other out. We've still got a lot of clean up to do and still a lot of people still separated from family members. There's still abandoned cars and maybe you've seen the picture comparing some of our roads to scenes from the Walking Dead. Wow!

Taking advantage of the snow & ice on Wednesday 1/29/14

I do think it's a little interesting that the "snowpocolypse" hit shortly after we started seeing this report on the Most & Least Bible-Minded Cities in America!

6th Birthday Preview!

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 03:00:00 +0000

We now have 6 year olds in the house! It was quite an exciting birthday...more to come soon!

Christmas Card Alternative

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 17 Dec 2013 04:12:00 +0000

Well, we didn't exactly get around to ordering our Christmas cards and at this point you might get them in time for the new year! So we decided to wish you all a Merry Christmas online and donate the money we would have paid for cards/stamps to Compassion International instead. So...

Merry Christmas from the Sullivans!

Picture taken by the AMAZING Allison Lewis and while you're at it, check out the 2014 Faces of Adoption Calendar (and order one!)

And since I have lots of space here, I thought I'd cover some of our highlights from the year.

The kids had snow on their 5th birthday in January! They were so excited, ate lots of snow and now think it should snow on their birthday every year!!

GiGi and Grandpa came to visit for their birthday!

Easter

Performing (in some sense of the word)

Pre-school graduation

Made our first trip to the ER, thankfully everyone was fine

The kids were in a wedding that Wes officiated!

Lost lots of baby teeth (Malakai: 6/ Amiya: 5)

We took a trip to Washington D.C.

Thought it was pretty awesome these states were next to each other at the World War II Memorial

Went to the beach and there was great celebration

First day of Kindergarten!

We dressed up and chaperoned a Homecoming dance

Trick or Treat...it's great to be an Auburn Tiger in 2013

Visited the Peanut Capitol of the World (and had zero peanuts while we were there!)

Visited family for Thanksgiving

Getting ready for our 3rd Christmas together!!

Kindergarten

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Wed, 11 Dec 2013 04:09:00 +0000

We're still here, livin' ~~the~~ ~~dream~~ one day at a time and trying to navigate new waters called... KINDERGARTEN!

Beginning of the year was...well...exhausting. Waking up earlier (5am is an actual time!?!?), lots of learning and fewer toys to Malakai's disappointment, new friends, new routines, buying "hot" lunches at school, walking down the school hallways by themselves! While I looked forward to many of the changes and challenges, it rocked my world to realize how independent these precious kids are getting.

In addition to all the new, we decided to sign the kids up for soccer too...you know, just in case they weren't tired enough after a long day of learning. I'm glad we did it but we definitely learned some things about our kids...like who should play soccer again and who needs to just go to gymnastics!

This gem (missed kick) gets me every time...

We're seeing and understanding so many more of their interests & personalities. Amiya really enjoys coloring and drawing, a little artist! Many of her pictures of people are so much better than I could ever draw! Malakai on the other hand has very little interest in coloring, he's too busy figuring out how things work or tackling something, someone or some animal! He's a sweet talker, a clown and still just as loving as always. Amiya keeps up with the rules and organization. Sounds like their parents!!

With lots of new, we've been thankful to be surrounded by so many families with lots of children! Lots of children means lots of different personalities, learning styles and awesome parents who roll with the punches! These families have willingly and a lovingly listened to various struggles or situations and always relate to at least 1 of their children and pass on some helpful insights!

With the new school environment being removed from our "adoptive world bubble" and with the natural curiosity and maturing of children, we've had a lot more questions about the difference of our skin colors "not matching." The questions are curious and innocent and I feel like inquiring minds and listening ears deserve answers. I know I shouldn't be surprised by the number of comments we've gotten, it's inevitable, but each one catches me off guard. I know my kids are listening to the response, they hear everything anyway, and I know one day they will start answering this question. I hope they do it with grace and love. I hope it's an opportunity for them to share what God has done in our family. For now, I try to just point out the similarities (nose, fingers, hair etc.) while reminding them that God makes everyone unique, different and perfectly in his image.

13 For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:13-16, ESV)

Here's a few pictures of the things we've been doing!

First day of Kindergarten

one of the many faces of Malakai

Flower girl and Ring Bearer (now Amiya thinks she's a wedding professional)

Homecoming Chaperones!

"blue day" at school...how could they NOT wear those awesome shirts!?

cool cat

Trick or Treat

First ER trip

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 28 May 2013 03:09:00 +0000

Not all firsts are fun, exciting & full of warm fuzzies. Saturday we made our first ER visit. Malakai ran flat into the truck. He hit it with so much force it knocked him off his feet & hit the back of his head too! This was obviously followed with the most harrowing screams parents could hear.

the bump on his forehead

Within seconds of scooping him up His forehead blew up like a balloon and his nose was bleeding inside & out! I've never seen anything like it and panic set in. Wes was holding him, I was looking at his back when I noticed the back of his head was also quickly swelling. We knew we'd have to head to the ER. I ran inside to get my purse, told Amiya to get her shoes on we had to go to the hospital. She got her shoes on so quick & ran downstairs, put her buckle on in the truck quicker than the rest of us got in. Don't know if it was twin intuition or she could just tell something was wrong. I don't think she saw Malakai's "boo boo's" yet.

huge bump on forehead and the swelling had gone down some

On our way to the hospital I was texting with Becca, one of the many 'professional' mom friends in our lives, she was giving great information, call pediatrician after hours service, is he vomiting and a slew of other helpful/re-assuring things. Wes was driving, talking to another friend who's a MD, emergency lights flashing and trying to keep Malakai awake. Everytime Wes would tell him to stay awake, he'd answer with a soft & sweet "yes sir." Suddenly we see flashing blue lights pull up next to us. Initial thought "oh no, not now!" The unmarked vehicle asked where we were headed and escorted us downtown. Thank you God for reminders of your presence even in blue lights! And thank you sir with your blue Super Hero Squad shirt on, you're our hero! Shortly after, the aftercare nurse called back. We told her we were already headed downtown to Children's. She asked where we were and that she would call ahead for us.


bump on the back of his head

Once back in a room and initial paperwork (insurance) completed, one of the Dr's came in to start asking questions. I know it's a necessity to check for child abuse but oh my, I quickly felt like we were being re-evaluated by every entity domestic & international that signed off on our adoption paperwork! She was great and we know she was just doing her job but that was hard! The first Dr. wanted a second opinion since he hit both front and back. As the 2nd Dr. walked in, we felt so much comfort, she said "Thankfully God created our heads to be the toughest where we hit them the most." She checked out all his bumps & cuts, compared his bumps to some others she'd seen and discussed a possible CT scan if he was showing certain signs but said they prefer not to do CT scans because of the radiation and possibly causing cancer in a child later in life. Malakai wasn't showing any of those signs so they decided it would be best for us to stay just a couple more hours to be observed (for any worsening signs) since most of those appear within 4 hours. Thankfully for us, Wes grabbed the BBQ wings & legs he had been smoking right before this all happened and threw it in the truck. So, while we waited for those 4 hours to be up, we at least had some delicious food!

taking a picture of himself

We got home LATE with 2 of the sleepiest kids ever. Amiya was the biggest champ. She never once complained about being hungry or tired although she was getting real tempted around 11pm. We both affirmed her at separate times for acting quickly and behaving so well while Malakai was being taken care of. What's ~~funny~~ ironic is 2 days before this happened, Malakai told Amiya that he bonks his head better than she does. And that was true before this happened!

A very Mickey 5th birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:08:00 +0000

The kids turned 5 years old this week. It's so hard to believe how quickly they're growing up! It's their 2nd birthday with us and I feel like they still need to be little snuggle bugs but never the less, those arms and legs are growing quickly!

I'm a little bit of a fan of Mickey Mouse, love Disney World and if Wes would let me, the kids room or bathroom would be Mickey themed. However we both decided against going in that direction for more logical reasons. Somehow I managed to talk Wes into a Mickey and Minnie themed birthday party. I guess you could say themed, I'm not a very creative person and all those posts on Pinterest are amazingly intimidating. But, what's a better boy/girl twin themed birthday party than Mickey/Minnie Mouse!!

Mickey Mouse cupcakes

We filled their room with Red, White, Yellow & Black balloons while they were asleep, they were a little confused when they woke up!

A sign a friend made for her daughter's party!

a basket someone gave me one time. Red & White polka-dot napkins I found at Walmart!

a Banner I downloaded from here

snow globes a friend gave me a looong time ago!

Mickey breakfast

puffy Mickey stickers

don't forget ears!!

Best of all, it snowed on their birthday! They got out of school a little early allowing us to go home and play in the small amount of snow that my friends back home are making fun of us for! Never the less, they thought it was great and said "Jesus gave us a surprise on our birthday! He made it snow!"

They had a great birthday and got to spend some time quality time with one set of grandparents!

A year.5 in review

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:12:00 +0000

With the busy-ness of life, full-time work, making school lunches & trying to sleep I've done a pretty bad job of blogging. There's been a lot of things I've thought about that I'd like to write about but by the end of the day, I just want to hit the sack. So, with a few days off for the Holiday's I thought I would attempt to start back by hitting some of the highlights of the things I've learned/figured out over the past year [and a half].

1. Despite coming home and fearing that we'll never understand each other, it is now very difficult to get 5 minutes of silence. Amiya is certainly keeping up with the statistic that an average female uses 20,000 words a day (most of hers are questions).

2. Boys will be boys: Malakai loves all things trucks, trains, planes and we've recently added super heros to that list. We're currently working on not throwing away plates and silverware in the trash (only the leftover food)! We think he's going to be left-handed, he highly favors it but is trying to do things with his right hand. He's also the biggest love bug!

3. We had a lot of people tell us we were crazy for adopting 2 at once/twins. Yes there's times things are a little extra crazy but they are best friends, help each other out (most of the time), can play together while I wash dishes, fold clothes etc. And, if 1 gets in trouble, the other works extra hard in that moment to not get into trouble...unless we're at the grocery store past a meal/nap time but I'm sure no-one else gets cranky in those situations ;)

4. Children who were knit together in the same womb (Psalms 139:14) can have VERY different symptoms when getting sick.

5. I've been a bit bothered by the number of blogs I've ready about "annoying things people say to adoptive families." I'm a quiet person so these have encouraged me all the more to stick to my introverted ways! I have this fear of being blogged about. I feel like our journey has clearly been orchestrated by God and I'm happy to share or answer questions; we had a lot of questions and are thankful for those who were honest with us. With this in mind, a fellow adoptive mommy put together a great informative blog post touching on some key points/tips on how to help adoptive families adjust/bond and why we sometimes have some odd requests. I especially appreciated how she addressed the last point.

6. It's amazing how well they're ears work when you use the words: chocolate, sweets, snack or candy, even at the lowest whisper. I'm almost convinced they can hear when I'm just thinking about it!

7. Understanding the [difference of the] words "in" and "on" will make a huge difference in where your artwork ends up!

8. Adopting gives you no more control over how "girly" your little girl is going to be...it's just in their DNA! She has loved sparkly things and bags from the git-go!

9. Milestones that have changed my life: putting their (child seat) buckle on all by themselves, ability to reach the toilet and some sinks without a lift, open closed doors, feeding the animals, letting dog outside (now if only they could bathe the dog).

10. Working full time still means there's 40 less hours I'm able to clean, +2 additional bodies in our house = God made dirt and dirt don't hurt...don't judge

Walt Disney World!

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 19:35:00 +0000

Soooo, we went to Disney World in late July. I knew that this would either be the worst idea we've ever had or a good one. When we went to Disney World in college we often saw the crying kids that were just miserable (and so were the parents) so I was always hesitant at the thought of taking kids until they were old enough to appreciate Disney World. Despite all of that, I'm pleased to say it was a great experience!

At Magic Kingdom we hopped on the train and took it to Fantasy Land where we rode the Barnstormer (a small roller- coaster). I had originally planned our day to start with slower rides & work our way to this one but it was RIGHT THERE. The kids LOVED it and giggled the whole time on the ride! All we heard after that was "More rice peas!" interpreted to mean: more rides please.

My Minnie Mouse

Brother/Sister love

Malakai stole the hearts of some pretty ladies!

We did a lot of reading on other blogs before we went. We had only been as college students or adults and it was so much fun to plan it for a different perspective! We debated taking a stroller (ours isn't very good) but after ready a lot and remembering how MASSIVE the parks are and how much walking was involved, we decided to take it. It was also nice to throw a bottled water or 2 in the bottom and carry around some necessities! The other best advice we read was to observe a rest time in the middle of the day. We went back to the resort for lunch and nap time and we were set for the rest of the night with some happy kids! The following day we stayed around the resort and had fun and then went back to the parks on day 3.

I love Disney World and can't wait to go back as they get a little older. It was great to be all together as a family and we could see the difference in the kids. They seemed so happy (and held hands a lot), we really didn't have any major melt downs or whining. It was just as magical to be all together as it was to be at Disney! I can only hope that all of our future family vacations will be so much fun!

immeasurable love

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:04:00 +0000

My favorite verse has been Psalms 139:14 since middle school. It has always been a great reminder for me that God created me unique (and different) just like He made everyone else unique and different. Over the last few years, the verses surrounding vs. 14 have also become favorites for me and an awesome reminder of God's sovereign power and love for each and every one of us. We may not understand why we were created a certain way, I think we all have things (physical/health) that we wish we could change, but God created us in our mother's womb before she ever knew we were there!

Psalms 139: 13-16
13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Our Adoption "process" took approximately 9 months. Today, we have been home for 9 months. The amount of time a woman is pregnant! It's crazy how fast time has flown. While our children are 4 years old, we are still back tracking and trying to make up for all the bonding that a mother and child begin at birth. There's days it just wears me to pieces and I want to sleep for the next 24 hours before I have to do it again. Most of the time I'm just blown away at the blessing these 2 kids have been in our lives! I never dreamed that being a parent could be this awesome (although I do miss sleeping in until noon on the occasional Saturday)!

There are times that we sit together snuggled up on the couch or rock them like a baby and I just can't help but wonder what it must have felt like to be pregnant with these 2 (energetic) babies, did their birth mother have any idea that they'd be so amazing, that they would change a family's life half way around the world?

I can't fathom how God knows and loves each of us so perfectly. Even as we struggled to communicate, it was amazing to me how similar Malakai is to Wes & Amiya is to me. I'm thankful for how He has knit our family together, I never imagined I could love anyone this much. How much more does our Father love us?

    "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
(Romans 5:6-8 ESV)

"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time."
    (1 Timothy 2:5-6 ESV)

The Yes/No Dilemma

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 02:47:00 +0000

I had 2 light-bulb moments this week and I can't believe it took me this long to catch on!

1. Malakai has been answering almost all of my questions with a shake of the head-up & down and then side to side. I'm just thinking which is it, yes or no?! I finally realized I'm just asking him 2 questions and to him he's answering both of them! For instance when it comes to a drink: "Malakai, do you want water or do you want milk?"He'll shake his head no then yes. Makes total sense now. On the other hand Amiya wants a choice and will verbalize her answer. 2 kids, 2 ways of asking questions.

2. My other light-bulb moment included this scene from Toy Story.
I walked into the room one night when this scene was playing. at the very end Woody yells "YOU ARE A TOY" and throws his hands backwards and kind of hunches over. That's when the light bulb went off. Amiya has been trowing her hands backwards & yelling "WHAT. YOU. TALK. ABOUT!!" while she got the laughing and oh that's cute comments at first, it just didn't look that kind and wasn't the way we want her to respond to things. No more Toy Story for a while!

4th Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 04:05:00 +0000

It's been just over a month since we celebrated Malakai & Amiya's 4th birthday. It's hard to believe that they're already 4 years old and it also marked 6 months at home together!

Since there's been a LOT of new in their lives, and ours, we decided to keep things somewhat simple and close to home. On January 16, Wes & I stayed up late blowing up 80+ balloons and filled their room with all the balloons. We put streamers coming down from the dining room doorway and everything on the table was Toy Story themed. They loved playing with the balloons and a couple days later loved helping Wes pop every single one of them!

For dinner they got their favorite, Peanut Butter & Jelly and wore some very special hats that they couldn't decide if they wanted to keep on their heads or on the table.

On Saturday, Wes' mom (Gigi), aunt, sister (Aunt Kelly) & cousin Zach came to visit so we celebrated with them along with our friends Aunt Melissa, Uncle Michael & Cohen. We made some strawberry cupcakes that the kids seemed to enjoy

The Forgotten Initiative

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:40:00 +0000

Listen in as Jen Young, Forgotten Advocate, shares the impact one 'journey bag' had on a precious foster care child,

"A caseworker called to say thank you for the journey bags we delivered. She described one story of a child that came into care with a sibling from a horrible situation that involved a death of a parent. Caseworkers tried to keep the two brothers together, but could not, which was very difficult for the boys. The caseworker said that when she gave them a journey bag, their eyes lit up. She expressed how excited they were to have their own bag and the joy it brought the kids really touched the caseworker as well.

I couldn't help but tell this caseworker about the 500 bags we received from a church that put each of these bags together. I told her that while we're glad the bags are appreciated, needed and useful, God cares about this child and took care of the details. His hand was upon this situation and He knew just what this child needed!"

The "Journey Bag Project" is just one way The Forgotten Initiative, partnering with Lifesong for Orphans, seeks to bring joy and purpose to the foster care community.

To see how you can be involved or to learn more, please visit their website.

Playgrounds & headlocks

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 02:13:00 +0000

I feel I may be destined to adorn the following bumper sticker:

...with a PINK background.

Last week it felt like we had turned a new corner, there was so much more laughter and less disciplining, it was great.

THEN, Amiya put another kid in a headlock on the playground! Let me back up some. Another little girl pushed Malakai down on the playground. She obviously gets in trouble. The next thing we know, Amiya has her in a headlock! Not sure if the other girl was having a bad day or if Amiya was acting in retribution! We got her home and talked about the incident. It went a little something like this:

Me: Amiya, did another girl push you on the playground?

Amiya: No

Me: Amiya, did you put a little girl in a headlock?

Amiya: Yes

Me: Did you get in trouble?

Amiya: Yes

Me: Did she hurt you?

Amiya: No

Me: Amiya, did Malakai fall down?

Amiya: girl push Malakai down, he fall down

Me: Did you push the little girl down?

Amiya: No

Me: Did you put her in a headlock because she hurt Malakai?

Amiya: Yes. girl push Malakai down

I have to be honest, part of me was proud of her for sticking up for her brother but I realize that's probably not the way to solve it! Let's be honest, that little girl isn't going to mess with either of them anytime soon. But, I have this internal battle going on. On one hand I'm glad to know she's going to stick up for herself & her brother. On the other hand, putting another kid in a headlock probably isn't the best way to solve the problem. And yet the other argument is- even if you tell an adult what happened, how are they to know who is telling the truth! We've all probably been punished for a lie that someone else told!

Anyhow, that's the latest, kind of funny, kind of not!

Clowning around

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 05:11:00 +0000

I often feel like we have 2 clowns running around here. It's crazy how much their personalities have come out in just the last 5 months. Here's some of my favorite things that have made me laugh.

Amiya & Armpits
One day shortly after we arrive home, Amiya runs into our bedroom and a couple minutes later comes streaking back out. I asked her to get her clothes and she obediently did and I put them back on. A couple hours later, I notice what looks like deodorant marks on her shirt. She doesn't know what it's called so I picked her arm up and sniffed her armpit. Sure enough, she had put on Wes' deodorant and we learned the word "Armpit"!

Malakai & funny faces
It was pretty clear early on that Malakai was going to be a little clown. Anytime he tried something new, he would make this face...

And with each new food, the facial expressions seem to get more & more dramatic. For instance, here's some pictures after he barely sunk his teeth into a jalapeno pepper (but didn't eat it)...

Amiya's Style
Amiya loves all things girly and often wants to put more & more girly stuff on...sometimes I really worry about her sense of style...

Malakai-"Sooo Handsome"
Amiya is such a girl, anytime she gets to wear a dress she jumps up and down excited. With all the emotions of being a girl, I wanted to make sure I instilled a good self-confidence in her so I was always saying "Amiya, you're soooo pretty." Malakai started saying he looked sooo pretty too so we had to quickly adjust that and more frequently say "Malakai, you are soooo HANDSOME." They both have picked up on that and when they know a girl or boy, they also associate so pretty or so handsome with the correct gender...make sense!? Anyway, one morning I was getting them dressed and Malakai told me he needed to go potty so I halted the getting dressed and told him to go to the bathroom. He said "No, I wanna [be] so handsome fuwst (first)"

Daddy & Animal Sounds

Wes definitely contributes to the clowning around. For Halloween I found a monkey & giraffe costume. When we were trying them on, we kept asking Malakai what sound a monkey makes and then realized Amiya needed a sound for her giraffe costume. We asked Amiya what sound a giraffe makes but since this wasn't one of the animals we worked on, she wasn't helping so Wes just yells "look-a look-a look-a." I don't think Amiya believed us, it was a good month after Halloween before she would make the giraffe sound.

Potty training and public bathrooms
The kids were basically potty trained before we got them but there was, as expected, some regression (and a language barrier and parents trying to figure out how to take care of kids). Anytime they told us they needed to potty and actually went in the potty there was a huge celebration. And since we're also dealing with chronic constipation issues with one, there's a HUGE celebration when he goes #2 in the potty. What I wasn't prepared for was the enthusiasm for bathrooms. Anytime we were in a public place, the kids needed to go potty so we'd all 3 go in and sometimes mom had to go too. (I never understood when mom's talk about wanting to go to the bathroom ALONE...now I do!) So, if I went, they would yell really loud "Yay, mommy went tee tee, good job mommy!" My new favorite is they want to help so "mommy, don't fall down drain!"

Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 21:04:00 +0000

Christmas was a great adventure. We knew it would be exciting, over-stimulating and possibly overwhelming and indeed it was all 3!

We started our Christmas festivities at Thanksgiving with Wes' family since we would be driving to Kansas City for Christmas.

Amiya got a princess dress, shoes & matching doll

Malakai got a truck that talks & moves...I think it's almost dead

and then they got a couple guitars!

For Christmas, we drove to my (Danielle) parent's house in Kansas City. It's a 12 hour drive with just 2 adults and we knew we would be extending that when we add in 2 energetic 3 year olds! We decided to take the trip up in 2 days and stayed overnight in Memphis.

The kids did great (I still don't think anything could be worse then us trying to get [toddlers who have never had boundaries] through all the lines and security in Uganda). I only brought a few quiet toys for the car ride and didn't even think about once it gets dark they won't be able to see anything. Some friends let us borrow their portable dvd player but the power converter started smoking so we decided we shouldn't use it! The kids started getting pretty antsy the last 2 hours of the trip but then fell asleep.

They slept on an air mattress together in my old bedroom and did great. We brought our video monitor and that was huge too. The more they discovered how bouncy an air mattress could be, the harder it was to convince them not to bounce/jump. They loved walking or "running" -which was closer to a bounce

We went to the Christmas Eve service at the church where I grew up. We used to always go to the 11pm service and this year decided on the 5pm for obvious reasons! We had originally planned to go to the Christmas morning service but after...well...loosing a pair of underwear at the Christmas Eve service and a few other behaviors that we were noticing we realized some anxiety and stress that the kids were feeling so decided to stick close to the house.

Once we got to opening presents, it was stimulation overload! It only took opening 1 gift for them to be all about these presents and they were ready & willing to help everyone else open their gifts as well. They got some great gifts and noisemakers that mom & dad are LOVING ;)

One gift they got was this "jeep" as you can see from the awesome faces: Malakai is so excited & Amiya is not so excited about sharing...but doing better at it

One thing I always look forward to when I come home to KC is getting together with friends. There's a group of girls from High School who get together every Thanksgiving/Christmas. Wish our travel schedules would have allowed more of us to get together at the same time this year.

Adoption final, citizenship next

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:04:00 +0000

Today we finalized our adoption of Amiya & Malakai! What does that mean? Well, several things:

We are now legally their parents as opposed to guardians
Name change
They can now obtain US birth certificates
We can apply for a Certificate of Citizenship (COC)

Last week I began preparing for this court date. I wanted to have as much paperwork ready as I could so we could fix names on their Social Security card, look into US passports and apply for this Certificate of Citizenship thing that I'd heard about a few times. The more I looked into it, and asked very dear friends questions, the more I realized that finalizing this adoption was just the beginning of more paperwork and fees. We thought that once we finalized and they had a US birth certificate, that also meant that they would be US citizens. SURPRISE- Not so easy! US Birth Certificate does not = US citizenship. In order to obtain citizenship, we will still have to fill out the N-600 (6 page form) for each child, submit another $550 per child to USCIS and wait for the certificate which will declare them legal US citizens.

It seems odd but we also found out that even children who are adopted and come to the states on a US passport also have to re-adopt in the states in order to get a US birth certificate. That may vary by state but was still very interesting to find out that information!

Regardless of what the process continues to be, we're thrilled to be able to finalize today and thankful for all the amazing people who have encouraged us and helped us get to this point.

We had a very kind judge today, Malakai gave him a big hug it was precious!

Little flashback to court in UG and kids running around (thankfully this time it was BEFORE the judge came in)

Africa to America: Christmas Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:47:00 +0000

As many families, we like to put our Christmas tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. We wanted to take the kids to Old Baker Farm to do the hayride, cut down a tree, haul it back etc but time ran out so, we settled on heading down to Home Depot to pick up our tree again this year!

As we walked around the tent with trees, the kids wanted up and down, walk around, touch every tree etc. There weren't many people there when we went, it seemed the people who were there were just like us in that they were doing the last minute Thanksgiving weekend tree pick up! I didn't think about how "busy" the kids were until another man shopping said "That's why I leave the kids at home, too much of a hassle." I tried to ignore him but his comment just kept irking me. I wanted get defensive and explain how new this was for us and for the kids. Hassle, are you kidding me? You clearly haven't worked with Citizenship & Immigration or the Embassy in another country, not to mention trying to interpret all the forms you have to fill out etc! We have done "hassle." The other part of me was just sad, it was always a fun (although I'm sure I griped many times) family tradition to go pick out the Christmas tree whether we went to the tree farm or supported the local boy scouts. I hope we can establish some meaningful & memorable Christmas traditions with our new family!

While we were there, Amiya picks up a branch from the floor and begins sweeping

They swept pine needles all the way out to the parking lot

Several rounds to make sure they have cleaned the floor

Again, all the way out to the parking lot

Malakai sweeping

They were not very happy about giving up their branches, well Amiya wasn't anyway. We had to take hers home and then she swept the kitchen floor (or swept it all under the oven and fridge)

I just watched in amazement for about 20 minutes, this was likely a chore they helped their grandmother with. We also watched in amazement in Uganda as we watched so many hunched over sweeping with either branches or a small collection of grass.

We finally got the Christmas tree up in our house, it's a small pathetic little tree so don't laugh if you come to our house! We had been working on saying Christmas Tree but when dad filled up the bottom with water, it became "Water Tree." They'd also like to wish you the sweetest little Merry Christmas you've ever heard!

Africa to America: Christmas Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 03:30:00 +0000

Hard to believe a year ago, we were in the "process" of adopting 2 children and curious about what Christmas would be like for them. Hard to conceptualize how different this Christmas will be for them and what they must be thinking. We have such an awesome opportunity to begin new traditions, to decide how our family will celebrate, how this crazy guy with a red suit & long beard that everyone keeps asking them about and they have no idea what you're talking about will work into our celebration of what we really are celebrating- birth of Jesus Christ.

Here's some of the questions we've been asked.
Q: Are the kids ready for Santa Clause?/ What is Santa bringing the kids?
A: They have no idea what that/he is. We're still trying to understand why there are trees with lights on them inside our house but we REALLY like looking and touching the lights

Q: Are you going to do "Santa" with the kids?
A: I think it's difficult in our culture to not at least talk about/tell them about "Father Christmas"/Santa Clause. We'll likely do the cute picture of them sitting on Santa's lap but we haven't decided if we're going to do presents from "Santa" under the tree and pretend like he's this real guy who lands on our roof top and comes down our non-existent chimney. I'm honestly split right now, it's fun, imaginative and all that but at the same time, I don't want them to look forward to Santa and not look forward to celebrating the birth of Jesus. I know this forces us to be intentional and I've been reading several opinions but would love to hear more ideas/traditions that you've done or started with your family.

Q: You mean they didn't have Santa Clause in Uganda?
A: well, I've heard that some guys do dress up in Santa/Father Christmas outfits but it's not quite the marketing /commercialized holiday that it is here. For most Ugandans (I hear), it's most important for them to come together as a family, celebrate with a big meal and spend time together (not inserting batteries into the newest noise making toy!) I definitely think they've been doing this holiday the right way!

We obviously still have a lot to decide on and a lot to discuss as a new family!

Stay tuned for pics & more on Christmas!

Africa to America: language

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 23:30:00 +0000

We are often asked how their English is doing, how many words do they know, has it been difficult for them to learn etc. When we first started caring for them in UG, the reality of them not speaking many words became VERY real, as in we had 8 "words" to work with! In English, they would say: momma, daddy. Luganda words: Boda boda/Motorcycle. Words they occasionally would interchange between Luganda & English: Pia/Ball, Fuca/potty. Words they spoke in baby talk that we figured out: Biem was Car, "Kai-eat-a" was water or bath.

They understood a lot more in both Luganda & English than they could speak. In some ways that was good for us but hard for them, they had trouble responding in a way that we could understand. There was a lot of hitting & biting and some of it (not all of it) was likely a result of this communication gap. Despite our attempts to teach them some English, they really only picked up on Car & Ball and we eventually got them to say "cup pease." I remembered baby sitting for a family who used sign language with their baby. I vaguely remembered a couple of the signs: all done, more, eat (not sure if they're the correct signs but it was at least a start to help with communication!)

I've said this many times but once we got home, it was almost like a switch flipped for them and they both began showing an interest in learning the language. We seemed to spend a LOT of time in the bathroom, if one was going, the other wanted to sit in there too. They would say "Momma mmmm" and point to something so I would tell them what it was. They quickly picked up Monkey, sink, bathtub, potty, picture, rug and towel. At the table we would go through the same routine and they picked up: table, chair, plate, cup, fork, spoon, curtain and window. They obviously wouldn't remember everything so there was a lot of repetition and we kept things in very broad categories at first. For example, any kind of bird -owl, penguin, flamingo, peacock etc. was just "bird" that says "tweet tweet." And any type of vehicle was a car -truck, van, bus, tractors etc. and they all say "beep beep."

Now they know how to say "what zat" and we occasionally have discussions over what something really is (perhaps our fault for putting things in such broad categories). For instance we drove down the road and saw 4 school busses. Amiya counted them and said "4 bus" and Malakai insists it's "school bus." They're both correct but don't quite get how 2 different things are indeed the same thing. Often even though I tell them they are both correct, Malakai gets his feelings hurt and starts to cry.

All in all, I think the kids are learning the language very quickly! I begin to realize when we're around other people that sometimes... most times it's hard for them to understand what they're saying but we've somehow learned to understand most of what they are trying to say, even if they're missing a syllable or a letter in the word.

Here's a video of Amiya getting onto me for taking her peanuts

It's been hard to get a video of Malakai saying very much. He's very much all BOY and will insert explosions or random sounds so I settled for this precious video where he's pretending to be a cat, sees himself on the camera & decides to give himself a Hi-5

Firsts

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 03:23:00 +0000

We may not have experienced a lot of the traditional firsts that parents often catch on camera or record in their baby books. Nor will we ever know what those first moments were like. However, the awesome thing with adoption is we do get to experience a ton of firsts with them. It just looks a little different. For one, they can talk (or try to talk) about what's going on!

There were a lot of firsts for our new family that we had in Uganda-first bath (didn't go so well 2nd bath and on have gone much better), first time eating out, first time going to the playground, first time trying on & buying shoes, etc.

Here's some firsts once we got back to the states:

Meeting Miles (cat)=successful! meeting the dog, not so successful and no pictures of them together for about 2 months to prove it! (July 18)

First wagon ride (July 21)

Painting toenails (July 23, 2011)

first dining out & waiting for a table at PF Changs (the kids went through a bowl of rice by themselves!) July 24

Trying on Mommy's shoes (August 25)

Playing in the sprinkler=HUGE hit! Anytime they see running water like this they yell "Arms Up" code for take these clothes off, I want to go play in the water (July 30)

Eating Krispy Kreme donuts=insanely hyper for about 30 minutes and then crashed on the drive home (August 25)

First craft project if you can call it that. Definitely won't have anything on Etsy anytime soon! (August 27)

First time to use shaving creme or pretend to use daddy's (Sept. 8)

First winter coats (September 8)

First time at the beach...going to have to watch these digging pros and help exhort that energy towards some sand castles (Oct. 11)

First Halloween costumes & Trick-r-treating.
Learning to trick-r-treat was fun and interesting! the first house we went to when the door was opened, Amiya just walked right in and Malakai was close behind. I don't think they understood why we were all laughing so much. Thankfully the family who opened the door was very friendly! Once we finally got them out of the house, we headed to the next house. When the door wasn't opened immediately, Amiya decided she would open the door! We only had 1 fit where a bag of candy was thrown on the ground, the rest of the night went pretty smoothly!

There's still a lot of firsts to come. I can't wait to see what Thanksgiving and Christmas will be like!

Monkey's & Giraffe's

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 22:26:00 +0000

Our first halloween was fun and interesting! I found some cute costumes at TJ Maxx. The giraffe was the first costume I found. Malakai screamed and said "Noooo" when I showed it to him. Amiya liked it and put the "hat" on~perfect! I started looking for a second costume and Malakai kept giving the same response as he did for the giraffe until I found the Monkey costume.

We brought them home & tried them on and they loved them! loved that they had tails and they did NOT want to take them off! For the next few weeks they asked every day about the monkey & giraffe!

When we started getting closer to wearing the costume time, we realized both Amiya & Malakai were making monkey sounds. Well, a Giraffe clearly can't walk around sounding like a Monkey so Wes & I looked at each other trying to figure out what sound a Giraffe makes & he finally yells "looka-looka-looka." Amiya looked at us like we were crazy and she still refuses to make the sound, on rare occasions, you can get Malakai to make the sound. I have a feeling they know the truth about Giraffe sounds!

My office had a little parade for all the kids, we had to practice saying "Trick-r-treat" and holding a bag at the same time. This was our best attempt at a family picture.

Halloween night was hilarious. We have always gone to a friends' house for halloween so we continued that tradition and went trick-r-treating with their 4 year old son.

The first house we stopped at, when the door opened Amiya walked straight in the door and Malakai followed. It was hilarious the families who's home they just walked into laughed (thankfully) and had several small children who looked all ready to head out the door. Amiya seemed very confused why she wasn't being welcomed into the home & why mom & dad weren't following!

We finally got them out of the house & headed to the next. The door wasn't opening quick enough so Amiya decided she was going to open it for them! By the third house we were figuring it out & they were pros with all the other kids by the end of the night.

I can't help while enjoying this time with our children, also thinking about the many families in the world who would love to just have a piece of bread to fill their bellies and here we are collecting about 10 pounds CANDY. You can help in a multitude of ways. I've added a tab to our blog with a variety of organizations out there who help families & children around the world in a variety of ways.

Africa to America: Food

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:37:00 +0000

I won't lie, right now I want to pull my hair out during meal times! Malakai will eat just about anything we put in front of him so when he cried after trying a Mushroom soup this weekend I thought, ok, it really IS gross. Amiya on the other hand has inherited her mother's picky eater taste-buds. This must be what my parents felt like trying to feed me (I was always that kid at school or the baby sitter's house who was STILL in the kitchen because I wouldn't eat something off my plate).

As illustrated below, on the Left is Malakai eating a tortilla filled with rice, corn and chicken --all things they have loved eating wrapped up together. On the Right is Amiya, she has taken a couple bites out of the tortilla shell, unwrapped it to eat some rice, picked out a couple kernels of corn and I might have crammed a piece of chicken in her mouth as I ~~bribed~~ encouraged her with a cookie to follow. Recently I caught her giving some of her food to our dog while I was turned helping Malakai!

Let's back up to those wonderful days in Uganda...They have the most delicious Pineapples, Bananas and fresh fruits and vegetables. I have never liked Pineapple but when the kids' grandmother gave us some, I knew I had to try it-wow it was so sweet and juicy! Forget about trying to remember what you should & shouldn't eat in a different country-I was NOT going to pass it up!

While we were there, we had a couple opportunities to eat a local meal and despite my picky eater taste-buds, I don't mind embracing a new culture which includes eating their cuisine. Besides, this wasn't about me, if I was going to have any understanding of the birthplace of our children in the short amount of time we were there, I needed to do this and honestly the food was pretty good!

Both meals we had, looked exactly like the food in the picture below (which was cooked at the grandmothers). If I remember correctly, it includes Matoke (boiled & mashed bananas or plantains), Ugali (flour & water), cabbage, sweet potatos, rice and a stew like of ground nuts (the purple stuff on top).

The kids LOVED it and I mean went to town cleaning their plates. As you can see, no silverware was used, she had 2 forks which she allowed Wes & I to use.

Malakai enjoying some Matoke

Sugar Cane, Tea, Sweet rolls and Passion Fruit that the Grandmother gave us. I haven't been able to find Passion Fruit here yet but apparently there were 2 kinds and the kids LOVED it

The most delicious bananas we have ever eaten. And let's be honest, this lady must have an extremely strong neck!

Roasted Bananas (they eat a LOT of bananas)!

When we first got home we were GREATLY blessed with a multitude of people who brought us some meals. This was amazing not only from a convenience standpoint but mainly because people also things that I would never think to cook that early on, especially as we were learning and trying to figure out what they like. They ate everything except for the peas and Mac N Cheese.

One evening, someone brought us a roasted chicken and sweet potatoes. I started to cut the meat off the bone and cut up the sweet potato because that's what moms do, right? Then it hit me, these kids don't have knives and butter and brown sugar to fill their sweet potatoes. We pulled a leg off the chicken for each child and placed the sweet potato on their plate and just wanted to see what happened next (yes, I cringed with fear of them choking on a bone).

Malakai immediately took a chunk out of the end of his sweet potato and lit up once he realized what it was. He ate every piece of meat off of the leg (including that chewy grizzle part) leaving only the bone! Amiya split her sweet potato in half and sucked the inside out of the skin/shelling. She also went to town on the chicken leg and ate all the meat off of it leaving only the bone (and no choking!). They seemed so excited to be eating this meal, there was something so familiar about it to them and ate every bit of it with their hands.

I took the kids to Krispy Kreme about 2 weeks after we got home. My car needed some work done so while we waited we ran over for some donuts. It was interesting trying to teach them to stand in line and not eat all the crumbs off the floor. They loved the donuts and added a new word to their English vocabulary! Once we were done eating Malakai looked at me and said "momma mo" while doing his sign for "more." It was so sweet and I told him we were all done to which he responded with his bottom lip stuck out big and a little whimper. I set him on the ground to clean him up then got Amiya out of her high chair to clean her up. When I was all done cleaning Amiya up I looked over to find Malakai standing in line holding the hand of a teenage girl, obviously trying to get another donut!

Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:55:00 +0000

Top left: first picture we received. Top Right: 2nd picture we received. Bottom Left: First Sunday at church. Bottom Right: pictured on Sept. 21

With Grandma

Holding hands in the backseat after Small Group one night

Too cool for School!

Everyone including the animals are adjusting & resting during Nap time!

Grandma teaching colors from our favorite cupcake book

Malakai deep in thought

From Africa to America

noreply@blogger.com (Danielle) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:28:00 +0000

A friend of mine mentioned that I should keep track of some of the differences in life and how the twins are adjusting. I hate to admit I've done a bad job of keeping track of some of these things but wanted to start somewhere. So, I'll piggy back on the whole bathroom thing...or our modern convenience called indoor plumbing.

Oh where to start...bathrooms are so exciting (for kids)!

Well, I guess I'll start with what we know. We were honored with the opportunity to visit their grandmother's house. Her home has an amazing view of the countryside, everyone we met was incredibly hospitable and helped prepare an amazing meal for all of us. There was no plumbing in the house or electricity.

They did the cooking behind the house and before we ate, we washed our hands with a basin. This was very common for us to place our hands above the tin tub (basin) and for water to be poured over our hands. Guess where the water came from...

Water was collected from the local stream into these big yellow containers and carried back to the house/village for cooking, drinking and washing and used very sparingly.

During our first court appearance while we were in the waiting room, we got to spend several hours with the grandmother, watching the interaction with her and the kids was fantastic, we very much learned so much more about them and their culture and where they've been since birth. At one point, the grandmother (Jjijjia) started putting a strand of beads around Amiya's waist. Amiya very willingly stepped into the beads. Apparently she had gained a little weight around her belly so they didn't fit anymore. We asked our driver and friend Stephen what the beads represented. She told him she put them around their waist and when they had to go to the bathroom, they would take the beads off. Genius! knowing that could have saved us a LOT of pull-ups!

The children were placed in the care of a social worker 2 months before we arrived in Uganda so we didn't experience their transition to having running water, electricity and a bathroom inside the home but these kids LOVE some running water! But every once in a while we get to observe them squatting at a puddle on the ground, scoop up the water in their hands and start "washing" their hands, face and legs. More often, we see it in the bathtub with just a little water left (as it's draining) they'll scoop it up and wash again and "clean" the tub. It's becoming more seldom and playing with the Nemo bath toy is becoming more common.

When we were leaving the grandmother's village, we were stopped by the children in the picture below who were calling the kids by name, friends. These beautiful children were happy and very inquisitive of these strange white people in their village. As we left, I wondered how many of them would ever see clean running water inside their home in their lifetime. We have such abundance in our American culture. Everything is so easy for us, I often feel it is difficult for us to truly rely on Christ for all of our needs when things are so easily accessible to us but that's another post for another day.

It took us a while to adjust to everything automatic (especially in the bathroom). You forget on a plane that the incredibly loud sound of the toilet flushing could be so frightening until you have a toddler literally climb up your leg and into your arms. Or, while sitting on the toilet, the automatic flush sends a child flying off the seat (mid-stream) although I've heard that is frightening for most small children!

It took maybe a month before they wouldn't freak out over the hand dryer in bathrooms and we're a little better at not flying off the seat when the automatic flush sensor is extra sensitive. Paper towel dispensers on the other hand could be the best thing. Neither child will accept a towel that I give them. They each want to wave their hand and rip the towel off the roll. We love waving our hands before getting a towel so much that we will even to it to the not automatic towel things and at home before we are handed a real towel!