Unheardsilence

ANGRY

2011-07-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

As mad. My best friend is over, annoying the fuck out of me.
She puts her bare feet on my fucking bed, it pisses me off like nuts.
URGHHH i hate feet.
That is all.

Guess what

2011-07-13T14:39:00.001-07:00

You're beautful. Yeah, i'm on about you. You are. I hate seeing you guys sad. :( BIG HUGS!

my shop.

2011-07-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

Please check out my online shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop/teamsimmo1970?ref=si_shop

Well pleased.

2011-07-12T07:39:00.001-07:00

Mum has agreed to NOT go searching for my blog anymore :)
So i' back onit like sonic, im freee :')

Gah

2011-07-12T07:18:00.003-07:00

had 3 pieces of rockyroad today and like, a billion cuppa tea's so full!!

Gah

2011-07-12T07:18:00.001-07:00

had 3 pieces of rockyroad today and like, a billion cuppa tea's so full!!

please

2011-06-13T06:43:00.001-07:00

Please follow the new blog! http://hiding-an-ed.blogspot.com/

Sorry about the ads,

2011-05-20T10:08:00.001-07:00

Being paid to post them :)
I kn0ow they're annoying but tbh i need some moneys :)
IM FREE NOW!
No longer IP, :) it sucked dick.
That is all for now, peace out. xxx

IP STILL

2011-05-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

Still inpatient, moved to manchester, cheadle, i'm hating it, on leave atm for 4 hrs, arghh!

coming home hopefully for good next week!!!
xx

IP

2011-04-02T11:29:00.001-07:00

inpatient sucks. end of.

2011-02-22T15:38:00.001-08:00

MEH, IP tomorrow or thursday fucking terrified!

been a while,

2011-02-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

I went to my psyciatrist today, i wrote him a letter, explaing how food takes over my life, how i cry, i want to kill myself about 5 times a day minimum, how i just can't cope, he's put me on prozac as a last attempt.
He has referred me to birmingham psyciatric place, to go for a few months, i have 2 weeks to stop feeling this way or i'm in, i'm terrified.

-_-_-_-_-

2011-01-24T09:10:00.001-08:00

Well, today have had 598. And i'm done for the day, feel a fat pig but you know.
Uhm, my life is shit again, i cry everyday hugging mom, i just i don't know everything has gone downhill for me.

uRGH.

2011-01-18T11:39:00.000-08:00

i just feel like rubbish.
Just bleh, nothing works out or goes my way, everything in life seems to fail for me, i'm slowly slipping again, back down, down down down. under the radar, i'm sinking and i want someone to reach out and help me. Please? Anyone?
Ye.

Mhmm.

2011-01-16T08:07:00.001-08:00

Everything is just so fuckedup anddifferent.
No matter what i eat it feels too much, every little bite, what is up with me?
I hate this, idoidoido.

HAPPY.

2011-01-10T05:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, i sure am.
0 Calories yet. well diet cokeee.
I don't even remotely want to eat, what's the point?
I want to be thin, i want her. I love her.
Mhmmm, revision crazy, i'm so bloody happy!

:@:@:@:@

2011-01-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

I am actually pretty fuming. Try to be nice and :@ well fuck you.
This is MY blog, don't like what i am saying well fuck off, don't message me and tell me.
I am a useless worthless fat bitch, i know that.
But you, YOU?!?!?!
You think you can fucking judge me, well you can't.
Because i'm fat what i say doesn't count. Yeah, right, ok.
I WILL lose weight, and be smaller than you, then you have to listen, when i am thin and beautiful, then you will listen to me, then you will see what i say should count, it's just completely unfair.
Right, tomorrow, from then absolutely everything will completely change, fuck the "sensible dieting"
Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me.
Tomorrow what shall i have? Well ideally i would like fuck all. But you know, i hate being such a disgusting skank.
Orange Hot Chocolate - 40 calories.
Prawn noodles
1/3 Pack of Prawns - 38 calories.
1/2 a slab of noodles - 86 calories.
Garlic Powder, Basil, Parsley and Oregano - 10 Calories.
Cooking oil - 4 Calories.
Alltogether - 118
Wow, so far 158, terrific.
Eggwhite Omelette
3 Eggwhites - 48 calories.
1/3 Prawns ( love them) - 38 Calories.
Garlic powder - 10 Calories.
Oil - 20 Calories.
Alltogether - 116
So far, 276.
Hmmm. I will let myself have 1 more hot chocolate too?
So that's 316.
Apples are nice and snacky, mhmmm. I will have an apple later than night, so that's 376?
Yeah, why not, one final Hot chocolate that night so, 416.
Yupp that will do me, bit calmer now. Taken me 13 minutes to post this. Watching some murder programme. I just want to cry, why does everyone hate me? I only try to do good, i absolutely promise. :'(.
If you're reading this and you too hate me, please could you message me, on here, msn, pt, email, text, anything. Please, just tell me why, i try to do good, I just don't get it.

I stopped

2011-01-03T13:47:00.001-08:00

Taking my Antidepressants, to prove i don't need them. I just want to cry, i have a blade next to me, ready for self harm, kill me, save me, please.

:'(

2011-01-02T14:23:00.001-08:00

Ems.

Member
Posts: 284 I can't do anything without thinking about food, dieting self image, kill me fucking now.
Music talking about love wasting away, i think about food and desire to be thin. WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?
I am sick of this, i want my mind to be my fucking own, i feel like i'm dying inside. Everything seems so dark and hopeless like there's no point to anything.
I'm in love, with my teacher, we fucked. Mum pulled me out of school, i miss her. I want her, she hasn't even replied to my texts, she always does. I just want to cry, but i can't. I failed today, nobody understands, you guys are great, but my best friends i wish i could share it with, they would understand, i wish someone was from the midlands, who understood, I just want a big hug.
I'm probably annoying you by posting my shitty fucking life here. But what the hell, everyone in the "real world" hates me. Why not add a couple more hundred. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Bleh.

2010-12-30T08:33:00.000-08:00

I could bore you with the shit that's gone down today, but i don't see why anyone would particularly care. I feel like absolute shit, i can't remember feeling this bad, i want to die.
I want to crawl into a ball ry, slit my wrists and die.
Peace out.

Wow.

2010-12-28T08:01:00.000-08:00

Christmas wasn't tooo bad. Got lots of nice clothes, but i keep breaking down and crying, i wish i looked perfect. No matter what i wear i always look fucking dusgusting. Today it's 4pm and i have had 0 cals. But for tea gah, don't get me started. :( FOUND LOW CAL NOODLES. aldini.

Oh and i found a new favourite photo. It makes me smile so so much.
Hope you all had a good christmas my lovelies.

here it is merry christmas.

2010-12-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, well i've never met my grandparents. So i asked my dad if i could and uncle, they ignored me, So i posted a xmas card to my great grans house, fingers crossed.
Nervous about tomorrow.
Shitting myself.
Went to christmas carols, what actual jokes, this girl who's been vile to me, mom shouted bitch vile and bully at. And nan shoved her into a wall. Ha fucking ha.

hMMPH.

2010-12-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

I am a fat skank. I have eaten so much it's unreal.
Fallen out with my best friend.
Feel so angry, just want to cry.
Some fucking :@ i'ma just stop.
Got phone calls of abuse today.
Mom suggested i start weight watchers.
Self harmed again.
Promised i wouldn't.
Purged.
Feel shit.
Bye.

SNOW

2010-12-22T01:25:00.000-08:00

There is snow, snow makes everything better!!
Going to meet nanny and make sausage rolls. peace out.

Sorry i haven't posted.

2010-12-17T00:46:00.000-08:00

Wow. Yesterday was eventful.
3 things in one day.

Thing one

Dr Al, i had the psyciatrist first. That went really bad, there was this creepy guy sat in the corner with this hench afro beard staring at me. I sat rowing with mom. And him for that matter, over the fact they think i have Personality Disorder. They want me to have therapy, i said no and walked out. :/
I burst out crying after, agreed to do therapy ALONE and mom went back and explained.

Thing two

Home tutoring, debbie came, did a science mock, think i did alright, not too bad. OMG I FORGOT. I got a college acceptance xD.

Thing three
It snowed. -_- NO. I had a meeting at school ( the one i've left) and it went a bit shit. I told them they were never there for me and that overall it was just plain unfair. I got had a go at a bit but bleh. Laura W has been being a complete fucking whore to me. Mom saw her. Like 1 metre away, went FREAK and then started evil laughing staring at her. Laura was by herself. What actual jokes. Love my mom.

I'm sleeping at alice's house tonight, her fogies are out.
Me her, Alistair Luke. Hmmm interesting. Hope her brother isn't a cunt.
We're making pizzae for tea apparently. So i'm going to save my calories up today.
What shall i wear today?!?! Ahh, not sure. Black skirt, white top anddd black cardi? Yes i'm thinking so. I'm gonna burn 100 cals first thing, have a bath, do my hair and m- up. Do my nails and baamm. Oh shit! Better pack my bag too :').
Uhm. Still on my anti depressants, think they are slightly working in some areas. Peace out suckers.