The Bottom Whisperer is swamped with life and so we’re only answering one hard hitting question this week. Hope you enjoy!

Dear Bottom Whisperer,

I’m a 30-year-old heterosexual man. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and have a great relationship. I’m a bit of a serial monogamist. I’ve had 2 other long-term relationships with women in the past 4 years. The one thing that is different in this relationship is our sexual relationship. My current girlfriend is only able to achieve orgasm from receptive anal sex. I had never had anal sex with a woman before my girlfriend so it is exciting and new for me. I have also never been with a woman who couldn’t achieve orgasm from regular sex. Is there something up with my girlfriend or can I do something to help her climax from regular sex? Please advise!

 Perplexed About This Task Yearning

Greetings PATTY!

Thank you for your thoughtful question and being a fan of the column. First thing I want to tackle is this idea of “regular sex”. C’mon here PATTY, why limit yourself to plain Jane, missionary style sex when you have so many wonderful options to choose from. As far as I’m concerned, if there’s something my lover/partner enjoys sexually, I am all about it. I understand that anal sex is new and uncharted territory but don’t you realize that out there right now are a set of bros talking about how hot it was when they banged a chick in the ass?!? It’s naughty, it’s something we’re told gays and dirty girls do and most importantly, it is getting your girlfriend off! So open up the lines of communication with your lady and tell her that this is something you’re new to and maybe you miss vaginal sex. I’m sure she’d be happy to work with you on this, as you should be with her. If you’ve got a good thing going here, don’t let your lady’s love for back door action knock the love train off the tracks. Best of luck!

Asgard to Midgard, on the I-35 Express

Get down with yourself, you big, gay bridge.

(via City of Minneapolis Government)

(via JMG / Pew)

Ch-ch-ch-check ‘em out!

"Ready...set..."

"Here goes nothing!"

POOF!

"And now we play the waiting game..."

Something wicked this way comes. Dark magicks at work here.

So close.

"Look what I can do!"

"Must update my Facebook photo..."

Let your inner butterfly out, you lovely catterpillar, you.

Minnesota’s marriage equality bill specifically uses the terminology “civil marriage” so as not to blah blah blah religious blah blah blah.

Michele Bachmann has pledged to flee the state (seriously), as she fears Minnesota will be made an example of by an angry God. Bachmann expressed earlier today that Minnesota was flirting with the dangerous reality of becoming a modern day Sodom and Gommorah, and that she was preparing to hightail it across the border before she was magically transformed into a pillar of salt.

Not joking, guys. Not joking.

Congratulations, Minnesota, donchaknow!

(via ABC News)

(via I’m with Kanye)

Image via YouTube

Members of the Cult of Arrested Development are waiting anxiously for a taste of what the Bluth family is up to, and that wait is almost over. The official Season 4 trailer was released today, as well as a clip from the Netflix-exclusive return. On May 26th, all of the episodes will stream in their entirety. I also heard that Liza Minnelli will rejoin the cast this season.

Fans will be laughing and cornholing with glee when the first episode airs in its entirety, but here’s something to tide us over for now. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to hear all the new Lucille Bluth one-liners.

via quickmeme

Personally, when I think Haute Couture, the first image that pops into my mind is a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts. Or maybe the smell of that super intense cologne they spray at you every time you walk by on of their storefronts –  you know what I’m talking about. Is that to distract me from that one time A&F thought it would be a good idea to try and sell kid-sized thong underwear? Or maybe it’s all part of their elaborate marketing plan to convince me that a parade of shirtless hunks will greet me upon entrance?

A&F is doing something right, because I’m very concerned about how fat I look when I hit the beach in my board shorts. I say this because A&F CEO Mike Jeffries has created a luxury brand to represent all the sexy thoughts you could ever think. To ensure maximum sexiness, Jefferies wants to make sure no uggos are allowed to work in his stores, or even wear his clothing.

This has been a hot topic of debate on the interweb for some time, with reactions ranging from, “This hella ugly dude has no room to hate on other ugly people,” to, “Let’s stop throwing around all these mean standards of beauty” to, “Down with capitalist enterprise! Smash the state!” No matter what your thoughts, I think it’s important to point out that in situations like this, the internet will always do what the internet does best:

What do you think? Do you agree with Mike Jeffries, or are you too sexy for A&F?

Jinkx Monsoon: A little slice of Heaven.

RuPaul has spoken, hunties, and your next drag superstar is the one and only Jinkx Monsoon! The “Sleeper from Seattle” swept the competition in season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. As a Seattle resident, I have had the pleasure of watching Ms. Monsoon perform at countless events, and I can say without a doubt that she is one of the most captivating performers you will ever watch. It’s no surprise that America has fallen in love with Jinkx after watching her dominate Snatch Game, triumph in the Telenovela challenge, or bring joy to a veteran who may have killed Judy Garland. Jinkx Monsoon truly is a super star, ladies and gentlemen.

Another Seattle-based talent, filmaker Alex Berry, has followed Jinkx on her journey to drag stardom for some time now. Dubbing the film Drag Becomes Him, Berry presents us with an intimate look inside Jinkx’s journey to the top. The first four installments are available on YouTube, and Berry assures me more is coming soon. Make sure you keep a close eye on his YouTube channel.

I can’t wait to see what Jinkx does next. I also have to admit that I had the pleasure of  doing a hot and heavy make-out scene with Jinkx in one of her Funny Or Die videos (click that link right there to see), which was truly a blast. Jinkx it, girl. Jinkx it.

What’s your take on Drag Becomes Him?

Willam continues to impress me. I don’t know if it was the life-size cutout of Jessica Simpson, her spot-on impersonation of Wilson Phillips, or the fact that she coined the phrase “Rupaulogize” before RuPaul, but I’m all in.

Her music videos are flawless. Starting off with Wilson Phillips, followed by Alicia Keys (which I still sing in the shower) and now onto One Republic.

This video has everything:  Sharon Needles flawlessly impersonating RuPaul, wig-snatching drag queens, and gay love against arcade games, all while rollerskating! What more could a girl ask for?

Did I mention it has Raja (my idol) and Alaska (that really is her, trust me) as “Roller Trash”? Because it totally does.

It’s the All Stars Drag Race we wished for on each penny, birthday candle, and shooting star, not that tired, filler season we received. Seriously, that season was thirstier than all of the Untucked and DragU episodes combined.

Watch the video and tell us what you think!

What do you want her to cover next? I’m hoping for either Paula Abdul or Queen.