"And I hold it so it's a fancy fist with joy!"

“I had some porn, and I swore, and a weird witch gagged me.” Who can’t relate to that?

The genius video series “Bad Lip-Reading,” which basically dubs hilarious audio over pre-recorded video (and makes it look incredibly convincing), features a handful of videos focusing on several of the upcoming election’s presidential hopefuls, both current and those that have dropped out.

A friend introduced me to the following video featuring Mr. Frothy Mix, Rick “My Campaign Managers Must Hate Me” Santorum. Watch and squeal in delight as Rick says things such as “I’m crazy. And I’m right;” “We all leave skitters;” and “I’m living for donuts and venison, and that’s true. And specialty gopher meat.”

I feel like the stuff Santorum says in this video makes a lot more sense than his stances on issues (like rape victims and gay marriage-napkin-beer-noun). The weird witch story makes a whole lot more sense than his position against gay marriage.

To my extreme delight, the series doesn’t only hit Santorum. We can enjoy outrageous lip-reading examples from Herman Cain, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, and Rick Perry.

I’ve included a link to the videos at the bottom of the post.

What do you guys think? What’s your favorite nonsensical, gibberish-riddled quote?

Herman Cain lip-reading

Mitt Romney lip-reading

Ron Paul lip-reading 

Rick Perry lip-reading

UPDATE: After seeing the Michele Bachmann lip-reading video, I had a sneaking suspicion that we had featured the video on the site before. Turns out, I was right! My lovely co-blogger Christopher covered the Bachmann lip-reading vid back in October. With that in mind, you can now see links to all the lip-reading videos in one blog post! Collect them all!

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She's just being Miley.

Miley Cyrus’ op-ed column in the March issue of Glamour Magazine explains why for her, gay marriage is a no-brainer. Sure, it reads like it was written by someone who spent her formative years in a blonde wig and pleather everything instead of in a classroom, but her earnest support for our personal liberties is of course appreciated.

Miley writes:

She goes on and on. You can read the column in full at Glamour.com or just pick up the March issue when it hits newstands.

It’s refreshing to see Miley put down the bong and step away from the penis cake. Activism looks good on you, girl. Let’s see some more of it.

What do you think of Miley’s marriage memo?

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There’s a pretty stellar comparison between the actual gay agenda and what conservatives think the gay agenda is floating around the interwebs today.

Gain legal protection against hate crimes? Actual gay agenda.

Make some straight person get gay married to you? The conservative fake gay agenda.

Qualify for all legal benefits enjoyed by straight couples? Actual gay agenda.

Touch all the straight guys butts? The conservative fake gay agenda.

Obtain the same adoption rights afforded to straight couples? Actual gay agenda.

Literally sodomize the institution of marriage? The conservative fake gay agenda. See? Easy enough to tell the difference, right?

Click HERE for a monster-sized, easier to read version.

Fantastic. Love it! But if you could move any item from the fake list to the actual gay agenda, which would it be?

(via BuzzFeed)

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Following the Westboro Baptist Church’s announcement that they plan to protest harass the hell out of students at Missouri’s Clayton High School, CHS’s Gay-Straight Alliance leaders have organized a Phelps-a-thon in order to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign.

For every minute that WBC protests, pledge contributions from donors will be payed to the Clayton GSA. The longer that Westboro pickets outside against an imagined evil, the more money for gay rights!

Such clever young homos and allies! Way to beat the bigots at their own game.

(via Riverfront Times)

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2012 has been a cruel year of press for the cruise ship industry. The latest disaster at sea involves a man aboard an all-gay Atlantis cruise charter no longer being aboard the cruise charter. 

Man overboard!

Finding no body after searching for several hours, the ship continued on its way to Cozumel, Mexico.

Wait, what?

Several hours? A man falls off the side of your ship and you give him several hours before moving on? They searched for survivors for three days when that ship sank in the Mediterranean last month.

Atlantis and Royal Caribbean: Sail at your own risk, y’all. Yikes.

(via ABC)

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Adam Lambert is the new frontman of Queen, y’all.

Wait, why? Is this something people were asking for? New music from Queen? Really?

Don’t get me wrong. I love Freddie Mercury’s Queen classics. Hell, They call me Mr. Fahrenheit, but why is this happening?

What do you think of Lambert’s new role as Queen’s main queen?

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Here’s the thing – federal marriage equality for same-sex couples is inevitable. Yes, we still have our work cut out for us, but one need only look at American history books to see that we’ve danced this dance over and over again.

What were once shocking societal mores eventually become accepted and embraced cultural norms. Slavery, male-only education, interracial marriage bans, the lack of women’s voting rights – these shameful blots on our nation’s heritage were once unifying rallying cries for those who sought to hold America back from equality much in the way homophobes fight against LGBT rights today.

We’ll win this in the end, because that’s what those seeking equal treatment under the law do – they win. 

Hate groups like the National Organization for Marriage or hell, even New Jersey Governor Chris Christie have at times said that marriage equality should be put to a vote, and not introduced into law by the legislature or judicial system. Here’s why that terrible argument is nonsense.

If ending slavery had been put to a vote by the public, the vote itself wouldn’t have even taken place in half of the country!

For those of you who believe that the totally obvious parallel between civil rights and gay rights doesn’t exist, chew on this next map instead.

Again, had women’s rights – including the right to vote – been put to a public vote, an entirely different half of the country would have been blocked from participating. Women themselves!

Marriage equality is coming, and sooner than later at that. The question here is not will it arrive, but when. So take a peek at your state on these two maps and let us know in the comments which side of history your state has stood on when it comes to equality, the right or the wrong.

(via ilovecharts)

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Madison Galluccio earns snaps, props, praise, and a gold star for the day.

Just because Washington State freely decided to legalize same-sex marriage this week doesn’t mean that homophobes in New Jersey aren’t doing everything in their power to stop gay marriage from coming to their state.

Yesterday saw bigot after bigot testify before New Jersey’s House Judiciary Committee that gay marriage is the worst, anytime you get gay married you’re always hungry twenty minutes later, and gay marriage totally makes my arthritis flare up, and blah blah blah – Anything at all really to distract from the fact that the march toward marriage equality is about yes, EQUALITY.

Watch as 15-year-old Madison Galluccio brings the house down (and to tears) with her incredible plea to allow her fathers to marry. After the parade of lies and “religion” pushed out by the opposition, Madison’s short speech is a breath of fresh air.

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. Thank you, Madison!

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We’re still not crazy about the music itself, but after only ten seconds into Madonna’s new video for Give Me All Your Luvin’ it becomes clear that this song is more Austin Powers cheeky British flower power than 80′s throwback, which is a very good thing.

A few other things become clear as well. Namely, that M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj are really only on this track to garner press. The two rappers are featured for a total of 26 seconds combined on this single.

And real talk, while Nicki looks great in her cheerleader garb (The can’t be said for M.I.Awkwaaaard), both ladies look ridiculous playing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera in the Marilyn Monroe/Boytoy/VMA’s vignette.

With all of that said, Madonna looks fantastic. And not just old lady fantastic. Actual fantastic. Though one can’t help but notice that this brave, new Madge is also rocking the same leotard silhouette (No arms or even hand-skin on display, with good reason) from the Hung Up sessions.

It remains to be seen whether Give Me All Your Luvin’ goes down in the history books as a hit or not, but ultimately we think the Queen should be quite proud of herself. It’s poor Nicki and M.I.A. who are going to be laughed out of hip hop for this one.

What do you think of Madonna’s latest music video? And why is she breastfeeding that doll?!

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"You know, not being a bigot and supporting basic civil rights just comes naturally to me. I dunno what it is."

With the New Jersey and Maine votes for marriage equality imminent, and the Washington State vote in, there are a lot of people talking about same-sex marriage and equality. While there are some saying that it would be a super great present to prevent voting for marriage equality, there are others supporting it.

One such man is Newark, NJ Mayor Cory Booker. A few days ago, he was at a press conference and a reporter asked him about his views on marriage equality and putting it to a popular vote. His answer accomplishes in 3 minutes what some speeches do in 30. Take a look:

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Mayor Booker has the right idea here, and we need more people like him in places of power.

It’s ludicrous to subject the rights of a minority to the sentiments of a majority. Especially on the issue of civil rights, nobody should have to rely on a popular vote to determine whether they can be treated like everyone else.

As the bill makes its way through the New Jersey legislature, Republican Gov. Chris Christie said he would veto it if it reached his desk. Instead, he offered to allow the voters (i.e. the majority) to decide. Sure, the bill could pass and all could be well and good, but like Mayor Booker is saying, putting minority civil rights to a popular vote isn’t a good idea.

Hopefully, Mayor Booker can play an even bigger part in achieving equal rights for all citizens of his state.

What do you guys think? Should this issue be put to a popular vote? More importantly, are we looking at the next Governor of New Jersey? That would be rad.

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