UNICORNS & DYNAMITE

No sleep = posting random thoughts while sewer dwelling

2016-06-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

     Don't cook bacon naked.

     Elon Musk is the Anti-christ.

     Yes Idiot, the world is flat.

     Everything causes Cancer

   You CAN control your dreams when you're sleeping

   56% of the worlds population is afraid of needles, and that's why most of us aren't junkies.

   Los Angeles sucks

   Sparkling water is just like pop, but without the brown and cancer

     Who the fuck has ever gotten sick from eating raw cookie dough?

     Tea Tree oil is minty gasoline.

     Farts are but whispers of the soul

     I had a paste addiction

    The very first Time Travelers failed; Kardashians are still alive.

I don't always use a period

    Women were born not completely hole

    Vomit will eat away a brick but corn is impervious???

    I almost crashed when playing double bass with my gas & break pedal

    Who is in control of the great turd collector?

Winter

2016-01-04T12:11:00.002-08:00

....In all its glory.

Enjoy,

U&D

More Metal

2015-01-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

The world is really quite the shit-slurp lately. Maybe it really is the end of days, no? I've always believed I'd see the world burn in my lifetime and I know others who feel just the same.

For now though, I'll just keep collecting my sweet metal albums and bullets.
Which kinda brings me to my quick little point: Al Sharpton needs to listen to more metal.

I care not to elaborate right now for glorious food awaits, but I just might later if it feels fitting to do so.

So enjoy this classic Metallica video I've been jamming out to all week.

Cheers!
P.

Stuff

2015-01-12T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hey People,

I've got some photography stuff up over at Redbubble if interested.

http://www.redbubble.com/people/patricko

Merry Christmas!!!

2014-12-25T21:40:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all!!

I just received the best present that may just bring true peace on earth!!!

COLD TURKEY Ep. 1

2014-09-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

Here is the first full episode of the web series, COLD TURKEY.

Betty

2014-08-20T02:15:00.001-07:00

Bipolar Betty was oh-so pretty
Yet deep inside her, there was something to pity
A genuine smile, and a laugh that was flirty
...but it was all fake, just like her titties

She cried all the time; I tried to understand
Finally got it out, her dad left her abandoned
I was always there, but she said she was alone
One day I left, and she begged me to come home

In the end it didn't matter
She found new hope in those who didn't know her
All this attention, she never got from her father; hope it works out and doesn't end up like her mother
...who was locked up -- for being Bipolar

URGE TO PURGE

2014-04-18T04:29:00.001-07:00

    I originally started this blog a few years ago as a means to just put up the occasional rant when I was feeling mouthy. A few stupid pics, links, rants and the bogus character profile I made up (Uri Croatia), is all that has been of Unicorns & Dynamite, so far.

    Up until now, I never really felt like I had anything worth writing about on any kind of social media platform. It was never really my thing. I subscribed to a few blogs/sites, but it was mostly music and film related. I've searched for answers or info on certain things when I needed to, but for the most part I just never paid attention to the whole lot of it. I find the vast, growing world of the Internet amazing in many ways, but very fucking annoying in others. Just on the fence about it, ya know?

    Yet lately, as I've grown a bit older and life has thrown some generous curve balls my way, I've been getting this incredible urge to purge. Sure I could write it in a diary or journal made from the skin of the dead (I kid), but that's getting old and for fuck sake I can barely read my own hand-writing.

   That being said, I hope to fill these infinite pages with my insanity as much as possible and I hope the small lot of you will continue to follow and enjoy it. If not, you can always see what Oprah is eating here: http://keradangerous.com/oprah-dont-need-no-stinking-oscar-shes-won-at-life/oprah-eats-corn-dog/

      Patrick

Cold Turkey 2014 teaser

2014-01-29T14:27:00.001-08:00

Wow! It has been a hell of a long time since my last post. Almost 2
whole years. So, with that being said I think it's time to start posting
again on a regular basis.

Here - if anything - is one of the main reasons I've been absent from posting for so long.

Tootles.

Missed it!!!!!

2012-03-17T01:39:00.003-07:00

Damn!!! Missed National Poop Day this year. Oh well, shit happens. Always next year.

See ya then,

U&D

Oxnard porn teacher

2012-03-09T06:13:00.001-08:00

Just in case any of you were wondering who the little academic vixen is...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/california-teachers-porn-past-879012

Hi

2012-03-08T22:54:00.002-08:00

Hi.

How is everyone today?

Everyone enjoying the nice weather, the American Idol, some Judge Judy and maybe a little rum n coke?

That's nice.

Fartmonica

2012-01-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

If you don't know what I'm talking about you will very shortly.

Stay tuned,

U&D

Sophy from KTLA...

2012-01-15T12:31:00.001-08:00

...goes BOOM!

Do a friend a favor...

2011-12-27T10:15:00.000-08:00

...click the ads so I can keep buying energy bars and online porn.

Thanks.

Going off the rails on a cocaine fueled gravy train!

2011-11-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

So I guess I've been a bit more negative than usual lately. I think it's just the time of year and all the crazy shit going on in the world that has kinda made it so. I don't feel that apologetic about it but enough to define it with some reason.

Naturally I tend to kinda hover around the "Hateanist" side of life. That's about the closest I come to anything you can or will categorize. Just more of who I am if anything. I know! A dreaded label! - but who gives a fuck. I mean, where would we go if we didn't have labels? I personally like them cause it is the first step in segregation and I wave that flag loud and proud!

Anyhoo, I'm gonna be posting some very important issues on U&D dealing with mostly what this country has got it's, fat fuckin' - cryin' sorry ass panties in a bunch over lately.

Stay tuned

Occupy......the world

2011-11-06T20:25:00.000-08:00

Know what you stand for before you know what you don't.

Muffin Master

2011-08-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Yep, It sure has been a while since I've written anything worth while on here. Really nothin' worth while to talk about lately.

I made muffins today. Honey oatmeal muffins to be exact. They came out pretty good. I'd post a picture of them but i'm just so fucking lazy lately. I will soon though.

Well that's it for now.

Awesome song!!

2011-07-29T21:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSdFFougjr0

Check out the new song Dirty Woman from PAIN. So good!

Not a bad job

2011-07-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

If Atlas saw this he'd be pretty jealous.

2011-06-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

Lipstick dynamite; snap your neck and hold on tight ( late night psychosis )

Learn from my mistake

2011-04-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

I tried being innovative in the world of smoothies and failed miserably. PB and J do not belong in the smoothie world, nor does it need pop tarts added to it. Maybe there is a correct way to do it, but I don't know how, so I'm just gonna put the blender away before this mess gets even bigger. Good thing there were no cold cuts in the house.

Four Wheel Holocaust

2011-03-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

Man, I am really in the mood to drive something fast today. I mean, gimme something that sounds like pure annihilation from a mile away. ARMAGEDDON ON WHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not a want, this is a NEED!

I will take any of the following in no particular order:

Ferrari 450 Italia

Aston Martin DBS9

1984 Oldsmobile Hurst 442

Audi R8

1976 Pontiac Trans AM WS6

1982 Pontiac Trans AM WS6 (Knight Rider)

........and the list goes on and on but who has the time. Let's make this happen. Get in touch!

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK

2011-03-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

How fuckin' sweet tit's is this?!?!:

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK - HEAVY METAL

Yeah, I just discovered this and I'm pretty excited. The game itself, honestly, isn't that great, but is still pretty cool with it's cheesy POWER METAL soundtrack, Slayer- esque background draped in bio mechanical, as well as an evil Unicorn. Awesome!

Not to mention the name of this little blog just so happens to be UNICORNS & DYNAMITE! How cool is that?! Now if only I could somehow get this game to be posted on here to play for the 5 or 6 of you that are kind enough to visit . Hmmmmm?

Heavy Metal Book Report!

2011-03-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

It's 1987 and I'm about nine and I'm blastin' the new Guns N' Roses album-Appetite for Destruction-in my shitty little Walkman. I can't remember how I paid for it, but something tells me it was a stealth commando run across town, on my bike, to Coconuts Music with a bunch of stuffed singles in my sock. And I know it wasn't one of my usual cassette lifts from KMART cause they were refusing to carry it due to their allegiance to that twat,Tipper Gore.

So in no

thanks to the above mentioned, my own mother(mind you, a child of the 60's and a musician herself), got in on the action of censoring everything in my life at this time. Hence, the commando sty

le of living I had to endure to protect my young, juvenile treasure of Heavy Metal, illegal fireworks, porn and just about anything else a nine year old should not have in his grasp.

So there I am completely s

ubmersed in this raw, hard-groovin', foul mouthed masterpiece and I just can not get enough. Now at this time as well, I'm still on an adrenaline rush from the recent, Master of Puppets by Metallica, no

t to mention, a slew of other bands that are blowing my mind at this time. It was treasure to me and it was all mine! This though...this was different. This was dangerous and everyone k

new it.

I had never heard such an onslaught of the word "Fuck". Granted, I had heard it a million times from my parents, friends, television, and even my grandparents from time to

time but not like this. The emphasis on the word that Axl W. Rose put on it brought it to a whole new level. It was vile, angry, purely venomous and absolutely non-apologetic. I loved it! Specia

lly songs like "Night train", "So easy" and the ever so cutthroat "Out to get me". The latter of the three I could relate to and in many ways would become my inner anthem for the next several years to come.

Ok, so now on

to this...

"Watch You Bleed: The saga of Guns N' Roses" - by Stephen Davis is a book I picked up not long ago that I ended up reading really, really quick. Now normally I'm not one to do a book report but I figured I would just give a little something on it more so because of how much i am a fan of this music, this era and of course Guns N' Roses.

This Stephen Davis guy I don't think is that great. He supposedly is some great rock-journalist-god that's been around forever, according to little snippets across the board about him, but I really don't think so. The book is well paced and moves in chronological order but on a very mechanical level. In fact, ( as many other's who have read the book before me put it) it is almost word for word from the Behind the Music that was done on Guns N' Roses. More over, this, if anything, would be a complete extension of just that.

The book is pretty much 3rd party accounts that most the time remain anonymous and vague. Though, there is a good amount of depth that is covered in the bands own individualism; one can't help but wonder what is real and what is hype. I purely state this due to the fact that, this particular book seems to be something the record label may have spewed out with great haste, and for whatever reason is unknown.

Again, the author seems to be re-telling a story he had no interest in, in the first place. He does his best to come off sympathetic in telling a story he has (supposedly) vested in but fails miserably when he boasts his use of such words as "ubiquitous", "serendipitous" and the uber favorite, "trepidation". C'mon, asshole! This is a book about probably the worlds - last greatest arena rock band - and he incases their experiences using words that belong in some Woody Allen movie - and that's stretching it.

Now there is a somewhat nicely painted back-drop to the world of Guns N' Roses. The humble beginings of Axl and Izzy to the young friendship of Slash and Steven Adler. The trial and error of making it in a band in Hollywood, to the addition of Duff and from there, their short comings and self destructive behaviour that almost ended Guns N' Roses before it even started.

There are many accounts and quotes from anonymous contributors who give insight into the chaos that ensued with Road Mangers, Girlfriends, Junkies, Crew, Record Executives and others fortunate or unfortunate to be in the shit storm that made Guns N' Roses. A cycle of continuous chaos that seemed to only grow larger as the bands success and subsequently, egos as well.

I don't want to go to much further for fear I may start to deter anyone from reading it as well as, I care not to spoil it. It is a good book to read on the go if this is something of interest but of course take it with a grain of salt. It is, as I said before very well pasted together from numerous other publications and accounts over the years but that's about it. I think even now, you can find the book used for around 7 bucks.

Oh, and one last thing. When my mother discovered my hidden Appetite for Destruction album, she scoffed in disgust at the jackets inner image and of course lyrical content. I thought for sure i would never see it again. Instead, she took me over to the record store and bought me Beethoven's 5th(I think). She told me that for every hour I listen to Guns N' Roses, or Heavy Metal for that matter, I had to listen to an hour of Beethoven. It was a fair trade and a good one at that. Little did she know though that Beethoven would slowly be the precursor into my indulgence a few years later into Blackmetal.

Thanks mom!