Two years ago today, all the flowers were born and so where you.

“El día en que tu naciste nacieron todas las flores”

your birthday comes to tell me this
—each luckiest of lucky days
i’ve loved,shall love,do love you,was
and will be and my birthday is

-e.e. cummings

Happy birthday to my beautiful Put Pie: life was full before you came along, now it is positively over-flowing with joy. Te quiero hoy y siempre, mi niña linda. It is an honor to be your Mami.

Welcome to another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, where I put together a post from comments I’ve left on other blogs. Below are some of my favorite posts from the previous week and what they inspired me to say.

Melly wrote a rant about how she hates Christmas because of the stress caused by the commercial aspect of it. I totally get it, but I also TOTALLY get that you just don’t have to be a part of it. You can give gifts, enjoy the season, and not break the bank. I do it every year.

Here’s the thing, you really don’t have to be a part of it. I never have been and I love Christmas. We grew up very poor and I never got very many presents for Christmas. Sometimes the presents were from second hand stores, it never mattered. I loved being around my family and eating and being allowed to stay up late. I also love to give presents, but I don’t have much money so I bake or give inexpensive re-usable grocery bags or go to Chinatown and find blank journals. I’ve NEVER EVER had anyone get angry at me for giving them a small gift. If they are upset then they keep it to themselves and get over it.

I was visiting my friend Traci at her new blog A Star in my own Universe and could really identify with a post she wrote on perfectionism not being all it’s cracked up to be…

Perfectionism just sets you up for constant failure. I struggle with my perfectionist ways too. I am also aware that my definition of perfection does not apply to those around me and I am finding that if I continue to try and achieve my sense of perfection in everyday tasks, then I am just driving those around me crazy with details that in the long run do not really matter. Happiness is far better than perfection. I am learning to choose happiness.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

Alamo Square
San Francisco, CA

I showed you mine, now show me yours.

Share your city/town/suburb/you name it! If you link up, please link back or post the Sundays In My City button either in your post or sidebar to let people know that other bloggers are sharing their communities too. Happy trails!

Awhile back I mentioned that Unknown Papi wanted to start a business coming up with blog names (he thinks he has a gift for it). Today he came up with a blog name for himself. He said that if and when he starts a blog he will call it, “The Prominent Proboscis”. He happens to be gifted with a larger than average nose, so it’s perfect.

This week one of my Twitter updates was, “Either I’m grouchy or everyone else is annoying.” I’m still feeling that way and I would like to believe that everyone else is annoying, but since I happen to be the only constant in every interaction then the rational side of me has to conclude that I am grouchy and it is not everyone else. I think being rational is HIGHLY over-rated.

Pregnancy Update: I am 15 weeks along and things are going well. I’d have to say so far this pregnancy has been easier and more pleasant than the last. I am however far more tired than last time. The crazy pregnancy-induced dreams that I am having are  not helping at all. From the second I fall asleep until the moment I wake up, it’s non-stop dreaming. Here are a few examples of my most recent dreams.

• I was dating Sean Combs a.k.a P.Diddy, we would only see each other at night and we had to be very careful because his mother was trying to shoot him. On one of our dates he complained that I never dress up to see him and I said, “Yeah, I’m supposed to dress up so your mother can shoot us? I don’t think so.”
• I dreamt that my nose hairs were growing out of control. It didn’t matter if I would trim them, as soon as I was done the nose hairs would grow back, shooting wildly out of my nose.

Why can’t I have pleasant soothing dreams? Maybe those will come later.

And that’s all she wrote!

My family, extended family,  is ghetto and I don’t mean in a ghetto-fabulous way. I mean just plain GHETTO.

Most of the time I let it slide off me. I don’t live by them (by choice), I don’t get involved in the drama (I never have), but damn it if this ghetto mentality doesn’t get me down at times. Today I was in a wonderful mood and then I called my mother. I listened to the garbage being dumped in my ear and thought, “this isn’t about me, this won’t get to me, I am not a part of this”, but as soon as I hung up I started sobbing. You see, I may not be a part of it, but the people involved are a part of me; they live in my friggin’ heart. I love them and I can’t stand that they live their lives like guests on a Spanish-speaking version of The Jerry Springer Show.

It is not my place to air other people’s ghetto laundry so I will not bore you with the current details, but I thought I would share some examples of what makes certain members of my extended family GHETTO.

• I was once in a video for “5 a Day”, which promotes eating 5 serving of fruits and vegetables a day. It’s not the kind of video that you would see on TV. I was never quite sure who would see it. Well, I was visiting family and one of my aunts (sweet lovable woman) told me that she had seen the video and had bragged to everyone that I was her niece. When I asked her were she had seen it, she answered that she saw it while she was doing some time in prison. Nice.
• When I was 11 there was a party at our house that was mostly family. Things got out of hand and an angry jealous man pulled out a rifle and started threatening people with it. The police came. After the police came everyone was freaked out because they were told that the call to 911 had been made from inside our home. Everyone was trying to figure out who called and why they called. Uh, IT WAS ME! I CALLED!!! I was 11 and a crazy drunk man was waving a rifle at people I love. No one tripped off of his behavior, but calling the police was deemed crazy. I never admitted to being the one that called because I was afraid I would get in trouble.
• My brother, mother, and I went to see Miss Saigon. Not my cup of tea, but my mother got us tickets because she knows I like theater and was trying to be nice. My brother had really only ever been to see me in plays. We’re sitting there and my brother is obviously bored until a scene where scantily clad women of questionable repute are gyrating on stage. At that point, he starts hooting, hollering, and clapping wildly. Keep in mind the rest of the audience is silent and my brother is louder than the performers on stage.  Then he turns to me and says, “You know if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have any art in my life. Thank you.” Oh brother!

I could share tons of anecdotes like the ones above, but I’m sure you get the point. I love my family, I really do, and they are not all ghetto, but it pains me that some of them don’t seem to understand that life does not have to be so full of drama and self-made tragedy.

A few weeks back I was speaking to my pregnancy counselor and I told her about the worries I have for my children. I told her that I did not want to pass my fears onto them, that my issues are my issues and I want them to stop with me. That I don’t want them to go through what I’ve been through. She listened and when I was done she said, “You know, Unknown Mami, some people have happy childhoods; they grow up without any major trauma and still manage to be good, kind-hearted, caring people.” I answered, “Huh, I never considered that possibility.” Now, I know; I know it’s a possibility.

Welcome to another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, where I put together a post from comments I’ve left on other blogs. Below are some of my favorite posts from the previous week and what they inspired me to say.

Mrs. 4444 shared how her daughter, Kendall, ran into some celebrities during a stay at Trump Towers. One of the celebrities was Josh Duhamel (from Transformers), who happens to be her brother’s favorite actor. Kendall went looking for Josh in the hotel weight room so that she could get an autograph for her brother. I commented…

That was very sweet of Kendall to sacrifice her time and go look for a hot movie star in the weight room. I’d like to think I would make the same sacrifice for any of my loved ones.

The Good Cook shared an encounter she had with her husband that recently passed, which reminded me of an encounter I had with an aunt that passed…

When my favorite aunt passed away, I was devastated. She always made me feel like I was the most spectacular person on the planet. Every single year on my birthday she would be the first one to wish me a happy birthday, even before my mother. If she was not around, she would call as the sun was coming up.

The night before my birthday (the first birthday after she passed), I sat and cried knowing that she would not be calling. Right before I woke up on my birthday, I dreamt that I walked into the kitchen and she was standing there waiting to wish me a happy birthday. She also made me a pot of coffee and I thanked her, but told her that she makes her coffee too weak for my taste. She pointed at the coffee and I could see that she had brewed it strong and to my taste. It was amazing that she found a way to still make me feel so special.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

San Francisco, CA

I showed you mine, now show me yours.

Share your city/town/suburb/you name it! If you link up, please link back or post the Sundays In My City button either in your post or sidebar to let people know that other bloggers are sharing their communities too. Happy trails!

Last Friday, I went to the movies with a good friend. I had free movie passes that were about to expire and I called up my friend and asked him if he would like to take me out. He said yes! We ended up seeing “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”, mostly because he wanted to. I will be perfectly honest and say that I was not that excited about the film, but I was so excited to get out as just me, not someone’s mother or wife, that I didn’t care what we saw. Well, the movie was FANTASTIC! I’ve never considered myself a Joan River’s fan, but this woman truly kicks ass. The film was honest, touching, sad, and inspiring. I am so glad that my friend wanted to see it because otherwise I never would have seen it and it would have been my loss.

Pregnancy update: I felt the baby move, which is crazy because I am only  14 weeks, but I felt it. I was lying on my side, snuggling with Put Pie (my daughter), just about to fall asleep when I felt the tiniest little movement . It was like two itty bitty bubbles in my belly. If I had never been pregnant before I would have just dismissed the feeling, but that was my baby.

We had some crazy hot days in San Francisco this week. It is not normally hot here during the summer. When the rest of the country is burning up, we’re wearing sweaters. We heard on the news that the heat causes delays on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) trains. The following conversation ensued:

Unknown Mami: I don’t understand why the heat causes train delays.

Unknown Papi: Yeah, I don’t get it either.

Hours pass…we are now in bed, talking about something totally different…

Unknown Papi: Wait! I know why the heat causes BART delays.

Unknown Mami: Why?

Unknown Papi: Because the drivers take the day off and go to the beach.

Unknown Mami: Hahahahaha…

I looked it up and the delays are caused because the heat affects the metal on the tracks.

And that’s all she wrote!

The winner of the CSNStores $100 gift card is the wonderful Tracie at Stir-Fry Awesomeness!

If you do not know who Tracie is, then get over there and introduce yourself. You will not be sorry.

Thank you to CSNStores for the giveaway opportunity.

Normally, “I Comment Therefore I Am” posts consist of comments I’ve left throughout the blogosphere. This week’s post is more of a “You Commented, Therefore I Thank You” post. I want to thank all of you that took the time to visit The Good Cook and leave a comment of support after I shared her sad news (her husband died recently). Your kind words are appreciated. So today instead of sharing comments that I left, I am going to share a comment that The Good Cook left:

Mami,

You (and the blogging world) will never now how much kind words, prayers and virtual support means to me. It may seem strange to some people to post about this most intimate time of my life – but WE (bloggers) know that writing it all down helps. I am comforted to know that what I wrote about TBHITW in the past reflected my love for him. I know he knew it. We were one of the lucky ones. We knew true love is rare. Happiness is fleeting. Life is short. I feel like glass most days – as if at any time I will shatter – but posting, reading comments, feeling all the compassion and virtual hugs keeps me together.
Thank you for your continued support and good words.
The Good Cook

This wonderful blogging community can be such a source of kindness and support. It’s hard to believe that people we’ve never laid eyes on can impact our lives for the better, but it’s true. Keep spreading the love; it’s contagious and it can mean the world to someone going through tough times.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

San Francisco, CA

I showed you mine, now show me yours.

Share your city/town/suburb/you name it! If you link up, please link back or post the Sundays In My City button either in your post or sidebar to let people know that other bloggers are sharing their communities too. Happy trails!

I would like to dedicate today’s post to romance. I am a sucker for love and romance, always have been, always will be.

I have been blessed with an abundance of love in my life. I may be lacking in some areas, but I have never lacked love.

This morning I woke up and put my hand on my husband’s back and was so grateful to have him in my life. I’m always grateful for him, but today maybe more than other days. Why? Because yesterday I found out that my bloggy buddy, The Good Cook has suddenly and unexpectedly lost her husband. She refers to him as TBHITW (The Best Husband in the World) on her blog. Her loss has really touched me. It is obvious from her posts that she married her best friend and it breaks my heart to think of what she is going through. If you have a moment, please stop by her place and offer her some kind words.

My husband is truly a wonderful person. Anyone that knows him would have to agree. I feel lucky to have him in my life. Sometimes I get scared because his father, who I am told was also an amazing man, died in his 40′s. My husband was only 16 when his father passed. Treasure what you have while you have it because EVERY SINGLE DAY is a gift.

Have you ever seen, The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics? I love this piece. I remember it from childhood and love to revisit it. It’s about 10 minutes long, I know that’s long for a blog post, but sooo worth it. Check it out if you haven’t seen it and share it with the kids in your life.

The Dot and the Line : A Romance in Lower Mathematics
Uploaded by jedall. – Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

I am sobbing right now because I stopped by a blog that I have been following for a long time, The Good Cook. This blog is written by a wonderful cook and a delightful woman. Today when I stopped by, I did not expect to be greeted by the news that her beloved husband has passed. This was sudden and unexpected. All I know of this man is what she has shared on her blog and her love and admiration has always been palpable.

Life is full of unexpected turns. They have been building their dream home on this idyllic piece of land that they bought- so excited to realize this dream together. We just never know what the future holds.

Please, please stop by and leave her some kind words. I have found this blogging community to be so wonderful and supportive. Please reach out to this lovely woman even if you have never come across her before.

Warning: If you don’t want to read about my vagina or what it can do, DO NOT READ THIS POST!!!

If the title didn’t scare you away: Welcome! For those of you who have been here awhile you are probably aware that I do a weekly feature called, “I Comment Therefore I Am”, I was going to save a recent exchange that started in the comments section of a blog for that feature, but my vagina wouldn’t let me.

Here’s the backstory: Nancy from Away We Go wrote a post called Taco Tales (and she wasn’t talking about the ones you buy at Taco Bell). In it she mentioned that she plays this game with a friend where they brag about what their “respective snatches” can do. Well, I’m very competitive and I wanted in on this game so I left the following comment:

Puh-leaze, my vagina can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

My vagina was once cast as Richard the III. Sure people were confused, but I’m sure Shakespeare was proud.

Nancy responded:

My vagina, thankfully, has never been compared to Falstaff.

My vagina once split the atom. Just sayin.

I responded:

I wouldn’t brag about your vagina splitting the atom. My vagina is committed to bringing about world peace. It’s a uniter, not a divider.

Nancy responded:

Um….clean fuel? Mine is all about decreasing the dependency on foreign oil.

I responded:

Well then you should use yours to suck up BP’s oil spill. I’m just sayin’, talk is cheap.

Nancy responded:

Why the vagina tactic has not been employed already remains a mystery. Mine would clean up that shit in a second.

I responded:

You know I’m going to have to blog this, right? It might be next week’s installment of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Nancy responded:

My vagina already wrote it and got 200 comments.

I responded:

Your vagina is such an over achiever! You must be so proud. Pardon me while I go give my vagina a pep talk.

That’s where I called it quits. It is obvious that Nancy has the bigger vagina.

And that’s enough vagina silliness for one post. Unless you would like to add some in the comments section.

Welcome to another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, where I put together a post from comments I’ve left on other blogs. Below are some of my favorite posts from the previous week and what they inspired me to say.

Can you accept a compliment? You know, like when someone compliments you do you accept the compliment with a thank you or are you one of those that argue your way out of the compliment by disagreeing with the person? I’m asking because the author of Finding Joy has decided that she is no longer going to blow off compliments and I think that is a good thing.

I think it is a big deal to learn to graciously accept compliments instead of dismissing them. It’s like someone is giving you a gift. Why would you want to throw that gift away?

At on the verge, I read about ways to get punched in the neck at Ikea. It wasn’t until recently that I realized people were ready to throw down at Ikea…

This is hilarious. We just went to Ikea a few days ago and I swear a woman wanted to hit my husband because he pulled up to the loading zone where I was waiting and she told him she was saving that particular spot for her husband. My husband said, “I didn’t know there were savies” and she yelled, “THERE ARE!” I was so worried that her husband would show up and be this crazy agro man, but fortunately he was very mild-mannered.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

San Francisco, CA

I showed you mine, now show me yours.

Share your city/town/suburb/you name it! If you link up, please link back or post the Sundays In My City button either in your post or sidebar to let people know that other bloggers are sharing their communities too. Happy trails!

Now that I’ve outed my pregnancy, you will most likely be subjected to endless updates. If there was a pregnancy font, I would use it so that you could skip over those parts if you are not interested, but there isn’t so humor a pregnant lady.

I went to see my gynecologist for the first time this pregnancy. My first prenatal visit was with an RN. I love my doctor and she was so excited and welcoming. I have insurance through Kaiser and I know that many people have complaints about them, but they really took care of me during my first, very difficult pregnancy and I am grateful (This is not a plug for Kaiser, this is just my opinion).

I suffered from severe panic attacks during my first pregnancy and with the help of my doctor, counselor, and psychiatrist I made it through. I was put on medication during pregnancy. Can you imagine what a difficult decision that was, especially for someone that suffers from panic disorder? It was probably the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life. The guilt was excruciating and there were many that made me feel judged for opting to take medication.

I am still on medication. Today I checked in with my pregnancy counselor and discussed my feelings about being medicated. Why am I telling you this? Because I still feel shame associated with being on medication especially while pregnant, but I need to let go of that shame. My counselor suggested that I should be proud of myself for seeking help and taking care of my mental health. Brain chemistry is a complicated thing. I feel blessed that I live in an era where I was able to find the help and understanding that I needed. I really thought I was losing my mind. What I found out is that this happens to many pregnant women (the hormones can really get to you). So I hope no one suffers in silence. I hope no one is stigmatized. If you need help, get it. The help is out there.

Unknown Papi, the inventor is at it again. Awhile back he invented the word, “vaginormous”. Today he coined, “fudiculous”. It’s more like he is an ordained minister for words. He likes to bring two separate words and unite them into one. Hence vagina + enormous = vaginormous and f@cking + ridiculous = fudiculous.

Speaking of Unknown Papi, he really made my day. We’ve been rather broke, like flat broke. Today, he asked me what I wanted to do and I said, “whatever”. He told me he had a little money and he wanted to take me shopping for some maternity clothes. It was so fudiculously sweet! I felt so loved and spoiled.

And that’s all she wrote!

One of the things my mother and I really enjoy doing together is segundiando (thift store shopping). My mother has been taking me to segundas (thrift stores) before I can even remember. When I visit her in San Diego we always have at least one day where we drive around to different segundas.

Another thing I really enjoy doing with my mother is eating. On one visit my mother wanted to take me to a restaurant that had great seafood and then we would hit up some segundas. The food at the restaurant was great! I had camaron al mojo de ajo (garlic shrimp) and loved it. Then we were off to a new to me thrift store.

The thrift store promised to be good and I was particularly excited because other than my mother and me, there was only one other customer there (she happened to be in a wheelchair). I love it when I have a store to myself and can take my time going through all the racks. Everything was fine until I started to feel a rumble in my belly. Not good.

The rumble would not go away. It kept building and building and I knew that eventually that rumble was going to escape my body in the form of gas. I was trying so hard to keep it in and continue shopping, but it was becoming painful. Remember the store was almost empty. I decided to stay as far away as possible as I could from my mother and the other customer. I would find an empty aisle and surreptitiously fart. Luckily, they were silent, but most definitely deadly. I started to feel some relief, but every time I let one rip, the woman in the wheelchair would come rolling down the aisle and I would be so mortified that I would quickly move to another aisle. After this happened a few times, I decided I just couldn’t hang anymore and I told my mother I needed to go.

We left the store, got into the car and as we drove up to the light at the corner, the woman in the wheelchair was crossing the street right in front us. That’s when the following conversation took place… (keep in mind my mother has a thick accent)…

My Mami: Dat womin is eSICK!

Unknown Mami: What do you mean?

My Mami: Chee hab esomething die in her estomach. Chee FARK so much een de estore and eat esmell like cheet!

Unknown Mami: (At this point I’m laughing hysterically because my mother is blaming this poor woman who was just as much a victim of my farts, maybe even more because the poor thing was in a chair that put her right in the line of fire, for my intestinal issues.)

My Mami: Don laff. It esmell SOOO bad!

Unknown Mami: (still laughing)

My Mami: Why you laff? Chee make me want to throw up!

Unknown Mami: (through laughter) it was me!

My Mami: Que, que?

Unknown Mami: It was me. I was farting.

My Mami: Oh no, poor womin! You make her esmell that? You need to go to the doctor. You are esick!

Unknown Mami: (laughing some more)

My Mami: No, mi’ja. Really, you esick.

Moral of the story: Do not eat garlicky seafood before shopping.

Welcome to another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, where I put together a post from comments I’ve left on other blogs. Below are some of my favorite posts from the previous week and what they inspired me to say.

I was hanging out at Stir-Fry Awesomeness and she wrote a post responding to the prompt, “Something you hate about yourself…” I appreciated her candor and although I don’t like to focus on what I “hate” about myself, when asked here’s what I wrote…

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

Gone fishing. (Metaphorically, at least.)
San Francisco, CA

I showed you mine, now you show me yours.

Share your city/town/suburb/you name it! If you link up, please link back or post the Sundays In My City button either in your post or sidebar to let people know that other bloggers are sharing their communities too. Happy trails!