Unplanned Perfection

A Secret

2012-07-05T18:39:00.002-05:00

I have a little secret. Can you pinky swear you won't tell anyone? Ok...here it goes.

I escaped.

But before you're all she did wha? and start to wonder what in the sam hell I am referring to- I will elaborate.

My lovely saint of a grandmother is in town and has been offering me a hand as of late. Tonight she agreed to take the littles swimming so that I could go run errands. Real fun stuff like grocery shopping (for the third time in a week...aren't you jealous ;), running to the bank, and a brief meeting. In full on Kristin fashion, I forgot my credit card on the ledge at home and had to turn my already strapped for time bootie right around. Once the card was in hand, I realized the bank had closed and probably wouldn't make it out shopping before my meeting.

So here I am with a full hour to kill and a quiet house.

I will repeat this last part.

A quiet house ya'll.

I pretend I am southern every once in a while. Do go with it.

First thing I did?

I made myself a little meal...and better yet didn't inhale it due to needing to feed another mouth or cater to..well..anyone other than myself. And I gotta admit- it was lovely. Next on the list was easy. Visit my lonely little spot out in cyber space. It's been a while, and I've missed it.

Ok, well now you know my secret. I'm here...writing. NOT at the bank or shuffling around the grocery store. Kids are with grandma. I feel a *tiny* bit guilty that I didn't hightail it outta here and do something more productive but at the same time, I have come to the conclusion that ME time is great.

And necessary.

And few and far between.

There is so much to be said for having a moment to collect my thoughts, taking a deep breath, and forgive me for lack of a better phrase- for actually having a minute to recharge my batteries.

Don't get me wrong- I love my babies. LOVE. Would do anything for them. And I love my man. BUT being alone is pretty dang great for a little bit, too. Would love to extend it a bit, but my meeting calls.

Hope to post pictures later tonight if I'm lucky. Which I am usually not, but who knows. Maybe things are turning around for me.

I have so many great things to share with you, but for now I will just leave you with a little quote:

I restore myself when I am alone. ~Marilyn Monroe

Much love,

Kris

What Makes Me Tick.

2012-06-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

Overwhelmed with love, gratitude, and a fresh perspective.

In light of that, I thought it was fitting to list exactly what it is that I am loving at the moment.

Some of them are constants. Forever unchanging. I am sure if you know me you can guess ~~what~~ who they are. Others on this little list may change tomorrow. Going with the flow right now and determined to remember the little things that make this crazy, complicated life beautiful.

So in case you were sitting there wondering, "Gee what makes that girl's world go round?" And clearly I am pretending that is exactly what you were thinking...go with it. Here's my list:

crooked smiles.

my independent boy. he dresses himself now but ALWAYS asks his mama to check that the tag is in the back.

dudes got a sock obsession. the more colorful, the better.

how my little princess's feet mold into the curvature that is my belly anytime I hold her.

baby feet in general. cannot. get. enough.

how she nestles into my neck in the wee hours of the morning.

anything vintage. history is beautiful, yo.

geek chic. give a girl some big ole black framed glasses and a boy with a bowtie, and my heart may just skip a beat.

brett- see above statement. bowtie. just once. you'd thank me lata ;)

speaking of my mister...love that I can smell his cologne long after he has left for work.

no matter what time I manage to crawl into our bed, he is right there to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me *this* close. every night. (this quiet reassurance of love may be my favorite moment with my babe.)

instagram. it's amazeballs.

grilling...seriously EVERYTHING tastes better coming off of those flames. mouth watering.

wine. nuff said.

and coffee. cannot forget that little lifesaver.

watching these littles put their imaginations to work. one minute we are pirates scouring the seas for buried treasure. the next we are super heroes saving the world. oh to see things through a child's eyes.

how my princess idolizes that big brother of hers. girlfriend's favorite toy at 8 months? a joker action figure. no joke.

finding the light. my new obsession.

cold sheets and pillows.

how Brayden totally gets rhyming. cat and hat mama? yes sir! you really are one smart cookie, kiddo.

and all mine. <----best part.

the weekend. need I say more?!

no matter how many miles seperate us- my gorgeous southern belle, Stephanie. girl knows me. and I love you for that.

sisters who aren't reallllly sisters but don't tell us that cuz we thick as thieves up in here. ( my gangsta voice coming out for ya. psssshhhh ;)

weddings. witnessing two people join their lives together and proclaim their love is a magical thing.

my camera- phone and slr. i'd just like to take a moment to thank you (and yes I realize it's an inanimate object) for allowing me to capture my babies and the moments that fill my heart with joy. they grow and change everyday- but because of you- I can hold onto bits of the past. a bold statement, but I'll say it: photographing these littles and learning the ways of this art has become my passion. seriously. sets my soul a blaze.

phew.

that's it.

so if ya made it to the end, I'll give ya a cupcake. for reals.

and hey- let's throw in a rainbow and a unicorn because it's that kind of post.

this week has had some serious challenges but after writing this and seeing all this happy, well it really makes the rest seem oh so insignificant. loving life right now.

Some of my instagrams:

Get ready for photo overload. My apologies lol.

Big boy dresses himself...clearly :P

Moments from one of our favorite little guy's first birthday:

Anne and Billy's wedding (not my forte, but I hope there are some images you guys enjoy.)

Congratulations you two. It was a beautiful wedding.

...can't wait for this next couple to walk down the aisle! One week!! <3

Well...there ya have it. A whole lotta love for you.

xoxo. kris

9 to 5

2012-05-17T12:37:00.002-05:00

I have been wanting to sit down and write for a while but each time I tried, duty called. Being a mama, as you know, has a never ending list of demands.

Us mamas don't have a time card where we punch in and out...we are never "off duty."

I know most of you have come across something that outlines what a mother is- be it a nurse, chef, maid, taxi driver, teacher, etc. It's true. I have been responsible for more "jobs" than I ever knew I would be as a mother to these little beings.

For the record, I would also like to add professional wiper to my resume.

I am fairly positive that some days I have a cloth, baby wipe, or kleenex in my right hand at all times just in case someone needs their tush, nose, and/or face wiped for the zillionth time. Case in point- Tuesday my pretty little princess did what she does best and had a monster blow out (I know, I know...you are probably so grateful for the visual ;). Anywho- just about the time I had finished wiping her little tush- our daycare baby happened to have followed in Bella's footsteps so I got a lovely two-for-one in the diapering department. And here was the cherry on top- just as I had finished scrubbing my hands, Brayden's voice called out from the bathroom announcing he needed "the wiper" as well.

In other words, sh*t happens. A lot. Haha.

....and I will be real with you- some days it seems like a thankless job. Some days, I am not sure I can physically keep up with my never ending list of demands. Some days, I am absolutely positive that if this were an actual "job" I probably would've gotten fired.

I lost my patience one too many times.

The house is still a disaster.

Brayden was entertained by one too many episodes of whatever super hero show I could scrounge up.

Dinner will be cereal tonight. Out of the box. Bon appetit!

I am unshowered, and yep those are still my pajamas.

I might go so far as to echo the author Judith Voirst's words and describe our day as a "horrible, no good, very bad day."

I had one such day recently and sat down on the couch at the day's end and sighed. Loudly.

I am pretty sure I had spit up all down my shirt. Stress and exhaustion had won their battle and were now staking their claim by setting up in creases all over my face. And is that a grey hair?!

Not a pretty picture let me tell you.

...and into this very self pitying moment my little 3 year old did step.

He plopped right up on the couch next to me and asked cheerfully, "How was your day, Mama?"

I tried to hold back tears while I replied with a "It was a little rough today, babe. How was yours?"

And here was where my whole horrible, no good, terrible day turned around.

You know what that little guy said?

He said he had a great day.

And he meant it.

I seriously sat there for a minute and wondered how on God's green Earth he could feel this way...and then I was caught by a montage of flashbacks.

Giggles at his baby sister blowing raspberries.

Practicing his best Hulk impersonation and stomping around the living room proclaiming, "HULK SMASH!"

Joy over how we get to have another "jammy party" day in which he models about 7 different pairs of pjs.

Thinking he is getting away with something as he digs into the cheerios box and giggles before stuffing the little circles into his mouth.

And that's when it hit me:

the giggles. and smiles. and hugs.

In his precious little mind- he saw only the good.

What a gift he had given me in that moment. It was worth more that a lifetime of paychecks from any other "real job."

It was in fact priceless.

That moment reminds me constantly to focus on the good.

Because no matter what has occurred, chances are there is still beauty right in front of you.

....and when I think about that, I think I must be doing something right.

After all, my biggest task on my to do list is and always will be to make my babies feel happy and loved.

So- while I might technically be in charge of navigating these little ones through life, I cannot tell you how many times they have been my teachers. Teachers of lessons so much more important than what number follows 12 or what sound the letter A makes.

So the next time I doubt myself or am facing a rough day, I will do my best to remember the lesson Brayden shared with me.

I will let the smiles and giggles and love define my day.

I WILL focus on the positive.

And I dare you to do the same.

Sharing some of our joy with you...

All my love,

Kris

Family.

2012-04-23T13:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we celebrated three of my grandparents turning the big 7-0.

It was a spur of the moment- hey! everyone's in town- kind of party.

Allow me to set the scene for you:

16 adults.

1 tween.

2 kids.

1 toddler.

1 infant.

4 dogs.

I should also mention we all seem to congregate in the kitchen.

It was a full house.

Noisy, crowded, unorganized, and just a smidge chaotic.

Ok...maybe more than a smidge.

Brayden decided to up the ante by introducing his eye to the bottom of the toilet.

Cue tears, blood, and a nice little shiner.

The tears (and blood) quickly dried up as his cousins ran to his rescue, re- enacted the feat for those of us who missed his acrobatics, turned my little man's tears into smiles, and pretty soon the fits of laughter and squeals of excitement returned.

My dad grilled.

I got my Betty Crocker on and baked some delicious treats for everyone.

Umm by the way can we all say a quick Amen for fresh strawberries, homemade pound cake, and quite possibly the world's *BEST* recipe for Better Than Sex cake?! A special thanks to pinterest for that one.

I'm not even going to apologize to my waistline.

It. Was. Goooood.

We caught up on everything the kids have been up to, told work stories, discussed the latest developments on the construction projects (my family has a thing for simultaneously taking on large remodels), loved on my babies, lit candles, and sang a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday to three very special 70 year olds.

When the chaos finally died down and we said our goodbyes to everyone,

I was left with an overwhelming sense of gratitude...and exhaustion if I'm keeping it real. Haha.

I am just so grateful to have had the

opportunity to spend the last 27 years of my life

calling these people my family.

A family which is only growing as we introduce

significant others, spouses, dogs (lol), and babies to the mix.

A family that was created by four wonderful people-

four people who I am lucky enough to call my grandparents.

And I know that I didn't exactly plan on making

them great grandparents when I did, but it is an absolute joy

watching my children get to know them.

I can't wait to watch Bella make cookies with her Great Grandma Sandy and play dolls and sing songs with her Great Grandma Barb just as I did when I was a child. I know that Brayden will have the best time ever when his Great Grandpa Wally teaches him how to fish,and I hope that his Great Grandpa Denny can one day share even the tiniest bit of his craftsmanship skills with my little ones.

So thank you Lord

for bringing me into this family.

We may not always agree with one another.

We might not see one another as much as we should.

But we love each other.

And despite the fact that we don't say this enough to one another, the love is there...

wherever our crazy bunch decides to gather.

A few older pictures of the fam:

(I am now realizing I need to pull out the camera during gatherings a bit more)

I also want to mention that family isn't just those you are related to by blood...these three girls to my side are my sisters. For life. I love you all and am so blessed to include you in my family.

And the most recent one I took with my new camera... Doesn't it just melt your heart?!

Don't forget to celebrate your very own crazy bunch.

~ Kristin

Thoughts on Faith.

2012-04-10T13:29:00.001-05:00

I'm not too sure where to begin...there is so much that has been on my heart that I suppose any place will do.
Forgive me if I start to ramble.

I believe.
Simple statement, right?
With every fiber of my being...I am a true believer of Jesus Christ.

I pray.
Each and every day...with my children. Alone. Out loud. Silently. Sometimes I get down on my knees. Other times I look to the heavens and just have myself a little conversation with the Lord.

Now I need to admit something. Before Easter Sunday, I had not been in a church in over 6 months.
I have your standard list of excuses:
I'm busy.
It's difficult with a baby who naps in the morning.
Brett and I differ on where to worship.
We prefer jammies on the weekends.
The house looks like a toy tornado swept through.
Etc.

UGH.

And while I feel that it is important to have a personal relationship with the Lord on a regular basis, by not going to church I feel like I keep blowing off a friend who has invited me over. Every Sunday there is this invitation, and I can't seem to rsvp. It feels for lack of a better word...rude.

But the beauty of the Lord is that His invitation is always an open one. He doesn't close His doors.

Case and point: They were wide open this past weekend when we strolled in with our two kids.
Phew.
He hasn't locked us out.
We are welcome.
You are welcome.
Anytime. Any day.

And ya know how it felt to be in church on Sunday?
Like a home away from home.
The fear that I would all of a sudden feel out of place, judged, shunned...it disappeared.
Instead the fear was replaced by His love.
It is constant and unconditional.
And I have missed it. Like crazy.

It didn't matter that this wasn't "my" church. Didn't matter that I struggled with remembering hymns, responses, prayers. All that mattered during that hour, was that we were there. In HIS presence.

I'm not entirely sure what I set out to accomplish by writing this post...all I know is that there has been this tugging on my heart lately, this voice saying "this isn't going to fill that void Kristin" and by stepping through that door this past weekend- I was sure that it was the Lord speaking to me. Bringing me to Him. He knows my heart. My desires. Fears. Struggles...He knows it all, and He had been telling me that all I needed to do was just come to Him. Bring it all to Him for He is the only one that can truly bring me peace.

All I need to do is trust in Him.

So maybe by writing this, I am trying to hold myself accountable. Publicly declare that I will do better to trust His plan for me. I need to stop trying to fill this void with material things and instead- let His love make me whole. I know I will make mistakes. I know that I probably won't be in church every Sunday. But what is more- I KNOW that he will forgive. I am not perfect, but I am slowly learning that I am not expected to be.

He loves me despite my imperfections.
Just as I love my children.
Just as He loves them.

And I promise to make sure they see His love through my actions...that they come to know Him through me.

I promise.

Easter Sunday via my Instagram (follow at bsmama318):

~Kris

2012-03-09T19:02:00.000-06:00

I was contemplating what to post since I clearly have been absent from my little blog for far too long. I wanted to sum up these past 6 months...Share our newest family member- Isabella Grace- with you. How in love we all are with having this new addition. How I am constantly in awe over each and every new thing she does. Tell you that every time she sets her baby blues on me and greets me with her smile, I momentarily feel the need to pinch myself because I still can't believe I have a daughter. I want to talk about how Brayden has exceeded every expectation I had for him as a big brother. The overwhelming pride I have every time I see my first born bend down to shower his sissy with kisses. It is without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. I want to say that I am an incredibly lucky lady to be able to witness the love that has grown between Brett and Brayden...not to mention watching Brett turn to complete putty the minute his baby girl coos. We are in big trouble as soon as she is able to ask for things. I just know Daddy will forget the word no when it comes to his princess. I want to tell you all about the daycare that I have started. How honored I am to be entrusted with these two little souls...to help teach them, nurture them, watch them grow. I want to shout it from the rooftops that I LOVE watching a child learn something new, and I am praying for more children to fill our home during the day. I need to let you know how excited my little man is to finally have a "buddy" to play with. I want to share all of the crafts, silly songs, and crazy things that have filled my days. And if I am being honest, I also want to admit that there are days when I have a running count down to nap time. I tend to feel like I am being pulled in more directions than I can turn to. I want to confess that I struggle. I am not nearly as good at this as I wish I was. I have found that the days are never long enough to accomplish all that lies on my to do list. I am constantly searching to find balance in my life...trying to evenly juggle all of my roles and duties. There are moments when I feel sure I can't change another diaper, answer another question from my inquisitive little man, pick up another toy, wipe another bit of spit up off of my chest, wake for yet another feeding at dawn, but then I glance at my two (some days four) sweet little mess makers, and I find...

Strength.

Patience.

Compassion.

More love than I knew one heart could hold.

And I take a deep breath, thank God for these blessings, and take it all one step at a time.

And last but not least- some pictures for you...

A special thanks to our friend and photographer Courtney for capturing the above family shots.

Our summer was full of parks, beaches, zoos...just the way it should be :)

Our last shot as a family of three!

Introducing Isabella Grace LaMacchia.

6 lbs 10 oz

18 in

Perfect. In. Every. Way.

Daddy thinks so, too. <3

First car ride

A very proud big brother.

Some holiday shots:

Bella and our daycare baby, Landyn, always seem to find one another's hands. So sweet.

My how fast my babies have grown...

There is nothing in this world I'd rather be than a Mama.

Hope you are doing exactly what you've always wanted, too. Love to all.

~KP

Night Owls

2011-09-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

At 4 am, I have brilliant ideas. Creative thoughts and insightful words pour into my head at a rapid pace. If I had my computer in hand at 4 am, I could write a post so heartfelt that the world would just have to stop and take notice. Cut to now and the brilliant ideas are a bit choppy due to being up at 4 am. The sentiments are still there but they are buried beneath a night of being woken up by a restless toddler. Not that I would trade it for the world...there is something to being needed. Hearing the little footsteps come up the stairs, listening to the door slowly creak open, and feeling a small hand grab mine and proceed to guide me down to his room...it is kind of amazing in that "Holy mother of pearl. I cannot believe this kid has done this 3 times already tonight, but man alive...I am so thankful to be his Mama and have the capability to lull him back to dream land." My little guy is not a good sleeper, but as I near the due date of our second miracle- I am not exactly sleeping the best either. The princess shifts her little body here and there looking for a new position in an otherwise completely cramped space, finally settles in, and then she gets the hiccups. For at least an hour. This has become my night. So- when I found myself lying wide awake for hours a few nights ago- I was actually waiting to hear my restless lovebug's call. And when it came, I felt a sense of purpose. And as I tucked him back into bed, I thanked my lucky stars to have this time with him. Uninterrupted, quiet, and completely precious. Those moments of just him and I, with no other distractions may be difficult some nights...I might be exhausted and frustrated, but I am also grateful for this time when all he wants is his Mama's hand, another kiss, and an "I love you" before drifting off again. Being a mother is not without its challenges, but it is so worth it. <3

Moving Forward

2011-07-29T19:31:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe a month has already flown by since my first (and only) post...but I do have a good excuse. I promise. We moved. Such a short sentence, but let me tell you that this move has been nothing but short and sweet. We are still in the midst of a mess, but like all things in life it is slowly but surely coming together. It is not exactly what I would like to call an ideal situation at the moment...Brett and I are currently calling the family room our bedroom while Brayden sleeps in a heap of toys and boxes. Poor little Isabella's room is non-existent at the moment....but it is all slowly evolving and more importantly, we are coming to find ourselves at home here. Not too hard for me, to be honest, since our new home is actually where I grew up. Memories from my own childhood and adolescence pepper each and every nook of this house. I find myself flashing back to my own childhood summer memories. Fondly remembering my brother and I catching fireflies in mason jars with the neighborhood kids while all of our parents enjoyed a bonfire out back...all of us proudly running around showing off our new little nightlights from nature. I remember sitting on top of our old picnic table with a gallon size container of chocolate pudding, plenty of friends to share it with, and each of us equipped with a spoon. There were slip and slides splattered with Dawn ensuring that our bodies spun out of control onto the wet grass. There were watermelon fights...not entirely sure if why, but it seemed like a great idea to spit seeds at one another and giggle each time we hit our targets. Thank goodness for our mothers since they spent loads of time getting out giant, red watermelon stains. But that's what childhood is all about. You get a little dirty. You act goofy. You play ghost in the graveyard late at night...quite simply- you live it up. It fills me with such great excitement to create similar memories with my children here in this same place. I cannot wait to watch them "live it up," too. It will be spectacular...once we get all of our ducks in a row (and this last part is both figurative and literal...I think we have something like 27 rubber duckies that need to find their proper place here lol).

Well...with that said I must take advantage of my temporarily quiet house and get to work...there is a paint brush that is calling my name :)

Happy Birthday to My New Blog!

2011-06-30T17:01:00.000-05:00

Well...here it goes. My very own blog. A place where my thoughts and memories can forever be preserved and one day shared. I hope to look back at my words and pictures as a way to capture all of those "little" moments that in the end wind up being anything but little. As a matter of fact, it really is those tiny, gone in the blink of an eye moments that we wind up fondly reminiscing about. I feel as though days are just flying by lately and maybe its an effort to relish the moment or suck the marrow out of everything that is NOW but starting this little blog seemed well...perfect.

As a mama, I watch the days rise and fall through the lens of a toddler. I wake when he awakes and generally sleep right around when my little night owl finally allows his eyelids to succumb to the exhaustion that has been slowly creeping in. I am anticipating the arrival of baby #2. I am unbelievably excited to welcome my daughter, but am trying to savor these last few months with my firstborn as I know life will forever change (yet again) once Miss Isabella Grace makes her grand entrance.

Life. There is really no other four letter word that contains such multitudes. I ponder this daily. My life today is so much different than I had planned on it being, and I will tell you one thing about me- I am a planner and a perfectionist. If my plans don't go as well...planned...I find myself having to regroup and collect myself in an effort to enjoy what my plans have transformed themselves into. As I mentioned, my life does not exactly resemble my original "plan." Sure- I had always planned on being a lover, being a mom, being a teacher of some sort, but I just didn't exactly picture the order some of these things would wind up occurring. And ya know what? Life unplanned? Well, its even more perfect than I could have imagined. So what if I have not planned even one of my children? My son is a gift greater than I ever dreamed, and I just know my little Bella will be the same. My love life? Ha. Never did I picture myself the partner to an Italian man, but life didn't exactly care about my plans. Instead it matched me up with a man that is the exact opposite of myself, and I couldn't be more grateful for this. He is truly the ying to my yang...cheesy? Yes, but I am cheesy and I am also totally okay with that. ;) We have yet to get married, and this also foiled my perfectly planned out conception of how my life would go. We may not be married, but we are committed and in this day and age a commitment to one another however it is stated- verbally or on a piece of paper- seems to be what is truly important. Marriage is still in my planner, but the date has been shifted slightly. I dream about the day when we will surround ourselves with our loved ones and say our own I do's, but until we publicly do this- we privately make this commitment to one another each and every day. I am on the brink of graduating college. Always planned to be a college graduate, but like many of my other plans I had the date a little off. I am 26 years old. I share classrooms with students who were born in a different decade than I was. I have changed my major and shifted my life goals too many times to count. And for the record, I am graduating with an English degree and happily using that to start a daycare. : P Not exactly the musical theater buff that I had envisioned myself becoming, but again- I don't think I would want it any other way now.

This is all what I now refer to as unplanned perfection. I couldn't have chosen the dates that I would experience certain things and I may still have a lot that is penciled into my little planner, but I am always willing to erase those tentative "plans" and be a little flexible because whenever and whatever comes my way is a blessing.

May you find your very own unplanned perfection each and every day.

~Kris