Unrestrained Cognition

Can you name the Countries of the World?

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:51:00 +0000

Apparently, I know A LOT more about where the countries are on the map. I always just figured I was one of those Americans that can't even find Florida.... See if you can name AND find all of the countries of the world here.

[http://www.sporcle.com/games/world.php]

Cheap Valentine's Gifts for Ladies: Part 2

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 00:29:00 +0000

Gentlemen, today's gift is oh.... oh so simple. But for all you slow guys out there you might need to read this a few times.

Ok. Today's gift is basically free if you don't count the cost of the ink in the pen, notebook paper, and your imagination. Here's what you need to do:

Acquire a writing instrument (sometimes called a pen)
Acquire notebook paper.
Write a short story in letter format (Dear __ ) about you're favorite time together or something just as romantic with your lady. Try to go for filling up the whole paper, but don't go over. If you're having trouble then skip lines.
Tear or cut the notebook paper into ninths. (Like tic-tac-toe)
Now for the nine days leading up to Valentine's Day you should put these little squares somewhere you know she'll find them and won't mistakenly destroy them. Like if she has a laptop you could put one on the keyboard and close the lid.
Very Important: When she starts finding these things she's obviously going to know it's you and ask you about it. DENY DENY DENY. Look at her like she's lost her mind. You have no idea what she's talking about. Even when she shoves them in your face DENY DENY DENY until she drops it.
Try to give her the squares in order or slightly out of order so that she can actually read the story as you give her more pieces to the puzzle.
Bask in your greatness as the greatest boyfriend ever.

Now although this gift is super sweet, I wouldn't give it by itself. This is more of a supplementary gift to whatever else you're planning on giving her.

Can't think of any gift ideas? Remember, there's always Amazon.com and they have free shipping on orders over $25

Cheap Valentine's Gifts for Men

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:26:00 +0000

Now let's all sit down and relax for a sec... Ok. Ok I'm good now. Now ladies I hope you're relaxed and listening carefully. Please understand that Valentine's Day is your holiday. We only take part to either impress you, or because you say so... But... if we're going to get you a gift then we want one too. Now I know you're thinking that something like this might be a good idea. Well... good thing you stumbled across this post because you're clearly hopeless. There's two kinds of gifts I expect you to give this Vday. Give both, and you're the perfect girlfriend. But one or the other is just as good.

1) Practical Makes Perfect

Now, as a guy who's received both good and bad Vday gifts let me tell you the secret. Practical is king. What do I mean by that? Well, while that teddy bear you slaved over at the Build-a-Bear workshop is cute and all, it'll probably sit on his shelf and he'll never look at it again.

What he could really do for is a cool novelty t-shirt, or belt (If your guy is into that sorta thing). You'll find both on Amazon. That new video game he won't shut up about? Got it. Basically what I'm trying to suggest here is buy something that he would buy for himself. You're need to know your man. Valentine's should be like a mini birthday for him. But only one practical gift.

Another thing you might want to consider is food. Does he have a favorite food? Can you cook? If you can, then give it a shot. If not, well... you could also:

1.5) Cater To Him

Why not switch things up and make Vday all about him? Give him a massage, make that meal I was talking about, turn on some sports for him, maybe let him relax with his favorite book, and cater to him for the day. Doing something like this for your guy shows him your love way more than saying it ever could. It's just a fact of life that most men like to be taken care of from time to time. Remember, if you do this for your guy, he's much more likely to do it for you in return (if he hasn't already). So not only do you make him feel good, you're guaranteeing yourself the same in the future. See? It works out for both of you.

2) Sexy, Come On Down!

Whether or not you go the practical route, you must go the sexy route. Or at least I strongly advise you to do so. Vday is the day of love because you two reaffirm your love to one another. At least that's what you think. He loves Vday because that's the day you two make love. Get it? Got it? Good.

Now lingerie and sex games and/or sex accessories are the name of the game here. From personal experience I recommend mixing lingerie with either the games or accessories. This two pronged attack will have him stuck to you, in more ways than one.

You might also want to try a costume of some sort. If you've been thinking of doing something sexy for him, then Vday is certainly the day to do it. Maybe meet him at the door in a revealing outfit? I don't know, use your imagination, you get the idea.

Pleasing your man is easy, which is why I decided to write a post about this. Next time it's back to gifts for the ladies.

Catch Part 1 here

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Cheap (But Effective) Valentine's Gifts for Ladies

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:34:00 +0000

As we gentlemen know, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. If you haven't done so, I suggest finding a Valentine right about now. Correct that... now. Sooner rather than later will avoid the creepiness and resulting restraining order you'll get smacked if you splurge on Valentines gifts for the girl you met at the party only a week earlier. Every day leading up to Vday I'll post a new gift to help out all you poor bastards.

Literary Romanticism

Ok so you've been with this girl for a while now and you really want to do something to sweep her off of her feet. Easy. This one will require creativity on your part, but the 'it's thought that counts' factor is so high that it'll excuse a half-hearted attempt.

Difficulty: 6

I recommend this book What I Love About You. It's a fill in the blank book where you record, as the title suggests, why you love your partner. You recall memories and answer questions. As you're writing, you gradually come to appreciate her so much more. Then you give her the book all filled out and her tears will well up as she turns the pages. Honestly, this is romantic as hell... It's one of those gifts that can bring a relationship back from the 'brink' territory. I strongly recommend this book. Best part? It's cheap.

I also recommend This book if you want to go more in depth with your girl and learn more about each other. It's also steamier if you catch my drift... With All About Us you can do the book together and answer the questions either in the book or out loud. You're guaranteed to get closer and your wife, girlfriend, fiancee, etc. will adore you for it.

Four Philosophical Questions To Make Your Brain Hurt

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:41:00 +0000

People expect different things of philosophers. Some expect us to be sages. When these people meet me, my heart sinks, since I know theirs is about to. Others expect us to have a steady supply of aphorisms up our sleeves, such as that love is never having to say you're sorry (something no partner of mine has ever been persuaded of).

They too are disappointed when they meet me, especially when I say that the glass so beloved by optimists and pessimists is both half full and half empty.

Others expect of us not sagacity, but madness, or at least outlandish beliefs. And here, it must be said, some philosophers really have delivered. Thales believed that everything is made of water, for example, while Pythagoras avoided eating beans because he believed they have souls.
Andre Glucksmann, Bernard-Henri Levy
Eccentric hair: The mark of a modern-day French philosopher

As Princeton philosopher David Lewis once said: "When philosophers follow where argument leads, too often they are led to doctrines indistinguishable from sheer lunacy."

But beware. this is the same David Lewis who believed that, for each of the ways things might have been but are not, there is a world at which they are that way, eg a world at which your counterpart is spending today with the world's greatest sex god or goddess.

And, reassuring though it can be to think that at least that counterpart is having fun, even those impressed with Lewis's towering intellect have often found these other worlds of his hard to swallow.

Not all philosophers pin such striking colours to the mast, but there is a good reason why people associate the subject with surprising views. Philosophy involves standing back and thinking - intensely and rigorously - about aspects of our lives that are at once ordinary and fundamental.

And when the surface is scratched, what you find below is extraordinary - or, rather, extraordinarily difficult to make good, clear sense of. Lying in wait are arguments that lead to, if not sheer lunacy, then bullets we're loathe to bite.

So, with World Philosophy Day upon us, here are some pesky arguments to apply your minds to:

1. SHOULD WE KILL HEALTHY PEOPLE FOR THEIR ORGANS?

Suppose Bill is a healthy man without family or loved ones. Would it be ok painlessly to kill him if his organs would save five people, one of whom needs a heart, another a kidney, and so on? If not, why not?

Consider another case: you and six others are kidnapped, and the kidnapper somehow persuades you that if you shoot dead one of the other hostages, he will set the remaining five free, whereas if you do not, he will shoot all six. (Either way, he'll release you.)

If in this case you should kill one to save five, why not in the previous, organs case? If in this case too you have qualms, consider yet another: you're in the cab of a runaway tram and see five people tied to the track ahead. You have the option of sending the tram on to the track forking off to the left, on which only one person is tied. Surely you should send the tram left, killing one to save five.

But then why not kill Bill?

2. ARE YOU THE SAME PERSON WHO STARTED READING THIS ARTICLE?

Consider a photo of someone you think is you eight years ago. What makes that person you? You might say he she was composed of the same cells as you now. But most of your cells are replaced every seven years. You might instead say you're an organism, a particular human being, and that organisms can survive cell replacement - this oak being the same tree as the sapling I planted last year.

But are you really an entire human being? If surgeons swapped George Bush's brain for yours, surely the Bush look-alike, recovering from the operation in the White House, would be you. Hence it is tempting to say that you are a human brain, not a human being.

But why the brain and not the spleen? Presumably because the brain supports your mental states, eg your hopes, fears, beliefs, values, and memories. But then it looks like it's actually those mental states that count, not the brain supporting them. So the view is that even if the surgeons didn't implant your brain in Bush's skull, but merely scanned it, wiped it, and then imprinted its states on to Bush's pre-wiped brain, the Bush look-alike recovering in the White House would again be you.

But the view faces a problem: what if surgeons imprinted your mental states on two pre-wiped brains: George Bush's and Gordon Brown's? Would you be in the White House or in Downing Street? There's nothing on which to base a sensible choice. Yet one person cannot be in two places at once.

In the end, then, no attempt to make sense of your continued existence over time works. You are not the person who started reading this article.

3. IS THAT REALLY A COMPUTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU?

What reason do you have to believe there's a computer screen in front of you? Presumably that you see it, or seem to. But our senses occasionally mislead us. A straight stick half-submerged in water sometimes look bent; two equally long lines sometimes look different lengths.
Muller-Lyer illusion
Are things always as they seem? The Muller-Lyer illusion indicates not

But this, you might reply, doesn't show that the senses cannot provide good reasons for beliefs about the world. By analogy, even an imperfect barometer can give you good reason to believe it's about to rain.

Before relying on the barometer, after all, you might independently check it by going outside to see whether it tends to rain when the barometer indicates that it will. You establish that the barometer is right 99% of the time. After that, surely, its readings can be good reasons to believe it will rain.

Perhaps so, but the analogy fails. For you cannot independently check your senses. You cannot jump outside of the experiences they provide to check they're generally reliable. So your senses give you no reason at all to believe that there is a computer screen in front of you."

4. DID YOU REALLY CHOOSE TO READ THIS ARTICLE?

---PAY EXTRA ATTENTION TO THIS SECTION---

Suppose that Fred existed shortly after the Big Bang. He had unlimited intelligence and memory, and knew all the scientific laws governing the universe and all the properties of every particle that then existed. Thus equipped, billions of years ago, he could have worked out that, eventually, planet Earth would come to exist, that you would too, and that right now you would be reading this article.

After all, even back then he could have worked out all the facts about the location and state of every particle that now exists.

And once those facts are fixed, so is the fact that you are now reading this article. No one's denying you chose to read this. But your choice had causes (certain events in your brain, for example), which in turn had causes, and so on right back to the Big Bang. So your reading this was predictable by Fred long before you existed. Once you came along, it was already far too late for you to do anything about it.

Now, of course, Fred didn't really exist, so he didn't really predict your every move. But the point is: he could have. You might object that modern physics tells us that there is a certain amount of fundamental randomness in the universe, and that this would have upset Fred's predictions. But is this reassuring? Notice that, in ordinary life, it is precisely when people act unpredictably that we sometimes question whether they have acted freely and responsibly. So freewill begins to look incompatible both with causal determination and with randomness. None of us, then, ever do anything freely and responsibly."

IN CONCLUSION

Let me be clear: the point is absolutely not that you or I must bite these bullets. Some philosophers have a taste for bullets; but few would accept all the conclusions above and many would accept none. But the point, when you reject a conclusion, is to diagnose where the argument for it goes wrong.

Doing this in philosophy goes hand-in-hand with the constructive side of our subject, with providing sane, rigorous, and illuminating accounts of central aspects of our existence: freewill, morality, justice, beauty, consciousness, knowledge, truth, meaning, and so on.

Rarely does this allow us to put everything back where we found it. There are some surprises, some bullets that have to be bitten; sometimes it's a matter simply of deciding which. But even when our commonsense conceptions survive more or less intact, understanding is deepened. As TS Eliot once wrote:

"…the end of our exploring,

Will be to arrive where we started,

And know the place for the first time."

Source [ Here ]

Dam Who Knew I Could Enlighten Yall Like This?

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:12:00 +0000

Ok I'm finally getting a little better at photography. So this time, most (if not all) of these photos were taken in and around my house (as usual). Thankfully, picture quality, and interestingnessticityfullness, is up. Please don't embarrass me by spell-checking interestingnessticityfullness.....

Drip Drip

Right after the rain I went in to look at things a little closer... and this is what I found. If you notice the water droplets aren't perfectly round either. They have dimples.

Click Read More for the rest

A Parent's Love

I don't know if you can tell but this is a statue of a parent and child. The curves from the top going down are the arms.

Borders

It used to line the garden in my home. Now it's just a throwback to the time when my grandfather planted flowers.

Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Roof

No Idea what kinda bird this is. All I know is that there's millions of them in my neighborhood.

And to end this post with a relative BANG, here's Vibrance...

Vibrance

I have no idea what kind of flowers these are. I do know where they grow however... In my neighbor's yard.... VERY risky getting this shot lol.

Trouble seeing the video or reading this post? Click [Unrestrained Cognition]

More and More Photos!!!!!! ZOMG

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:15:00 +0000

Well I'm not dun with theese hurr foto graffy stuff. So here's a few more.

The Wasp

I had to get unnaturally close to this guy... never again... I could tell he was getting pissed.

Click Here for the rest

Curves

Is it weird that I took a picture of the fence? It's ok just tell me...

The Pot

This thing has been hanging off of our fence for years, so I decided to immortalize it in the catacombs of digitography.

Taken By Nature and Goodbye

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:15:00 +0000

Taken By Nature, originally uploaded by Brian Castell.

Goodbye, originally uploaded by Brian Castell.

Two more photos by yours truly...

Why All Men Are Assholes

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:16:00 +0000

There's an ever rising population of aggro men in this country and women have no one to blame but themselves. Men are hurt, angry and confused- even if they're unaware- and with good reason.

"Men aren't good at expressing emotions." "Men only talk about sports." "Men need to be more sensitive." We've all heard these platitudes and they're grade-A bullshit.

1) Men have emotions. However, most of them express and handle them differently than women and there's nothing wrong with that. When I hear, "men need to be more sensitive," my translation is, "men need to be more like women." Bad idea.

As a collective group, women have told men that makes them inadequate and they should feel bad about it. If women want to be with men who can talk about their feelings like their best girlfriend, then why don’t they just get together with their girlfriend?

2) Most women don't want men to cry. They don't want them to be unfeeling robots, but they want them to be men. Strong. Reliable.

Men are better at taking action and mechanical things. Women are more comfortable in the realm of verbal expression. It's not bad or good; it's just different.

However, society doesn't tell women, "Hey, instead of blathering about your feelings/problems all day, why don't you get off your ass and do something about them." I don't walk around saying, "I don't know how to fix a car," like I'm an abnormal defective. Try to accept and embrace the differences. Why swim upstream?

3) The world would not necessarily be a better place if women were in charge. Anyone that attended all-girls' schools knows what I'm talking about. Most women are just as vicious as your average guy. However, they're usually more subtle about it. At least with most men, you see them coming at you first.

Thirty years ago, something very interesting happened to the field of Psychology; it became "feminized." Women began to enter the field in droves in the late 1970s. Today, women greatly outnumber male mental health professionals, and let’s face it, the men who enter the field may as well have a uterus, that's how sensitive they are.

The mid to late 1980s is when the “men need to be more sensitive/get in touch with their feelings” movement began. This is the same time that women mental health “experts” began to surface in pop culture and let's not forget OPRAH.

The feminized culture has taken a once proud creature like a stalwart bull mastiff, and turned it into an angry, confused Pekingese. It’s sad. I used to man bash with the best of them in my 20s until I realized what's going on.

Here's what I learned: It's a lot easier to appreciate and desire men in all their glories and faults, then to try to make them become "like us." It makes relationships easier. It makes work easier. It makes it easier to forgive. Let's face it, ladies, we're no picnic either.

In fact, here's where I sympathize with men. If I had to date women, I'd end up smothering most of them with a pillow in their sleep.

My Foray Into Photography

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:53:00 +0000

Been a while since my last post... I know. But this one is rather interesting . . . to me at least. Well I've been moderately interested in photography for quite some time now, and I finally decided to go outside and take a few shots. What follows are some of my shots. Please, before you judge them on quality, I do NOT have a DSLR or any type of expensive camera. I'm currently using a 4-5 year old point and shoot camera. But granted my limitations, I think I made out pretty well. As I develop the pictures from my first shoot I will either post them to this post to keep it updated or I will add them in subsequent posts. Enjoy.

Life IS Small

Wasteland's Florals

Different Types of Women

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:13:00 +0000

The female race (yes it is a race of its own) CAN be very complex. This mostly depends on how hard guys make things for themselves. It has been my experience that most girls just want some dude to chill with and to be there for them. Not a man to fuck the brains out of from Monday to Sunday. (Please notice I said most, as the lucky guys will find girls like this). This is hard for most of the male species to handle. So much so, that girls that won't "put out" are often ostracised (big word look it up) because a lot of men won't put up with that.
Every guy (including myself I must admit) sizes up a female when he meets her. He then puts her into one of three MAIN categories. These categories have many subsets though. The categories are:

1. Cute/sexy girl -- I'd want to/will bang her.
2. Average looking -- Probly stay friends but I'd bang her.
3. Fugly chick -- The most we could ever be is friends, but I'd bang her if she's really tryna fuck.

--(Based on first impressions)--

As you can see, a guy's mind is always on sex. I have not included any relationship thoughts because only crazy people fall in love on first impressions. Lust and attractiveness is not love. Ladies, this may seem confusing at first. But you must understand that men are very visual creatures and women are very physical. This is why it is so easy for a man to get turned on just from the sight of an attractive woman. It also explains why men are always quickly ready for sex.

Eyes- "Omg Brain, clothes are coming off!"

Brain- "I hear ya… Penis, get your ass in gear NOW!"

Penis- "Done..."

Women on the other hand need a little extra attention. This 'attention' is commonly called foreplay. We all (should) know what that means and what goes into that of course. If you don't, please consult the information database.

On the other hand, it is important for us males to eventually think past just our primal instinct to spread our seed. Many a relationship has fallen apart because of a dependence on sex to sustain it. If you are with someone, sex should be secondary to the real feelings that you have toward that person. It should be a way for you two to express your feelings. This cannot be stressed enough because a relationship with no substance that is based in a sexual relationship is doomed to fail.

Men, just remember to be patient and you will get what you truly want in the long run. Getting rid of a girl because she won't put out is foolish. She probably just wanted a deeper relationship before giving it up. If you care about her, it will come. But if you don't care then drop that bitch! Just remember that one man's trash is another man's treasure (no disrespect to the ladies).

This is especially true because we all know that girls are evil, as shown here in plain math:

----But more on evil girls later.----

Niggers Don’t Know Shit

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 05:02:00 +0000

Whoa Whoa Whoa! Niggers don't know shit? Yea, basically. NIGGERS? WHY NIGGERS? Read on...

Fresh out of Rap Sessions an event hosted by the Black Student Union here at Lehigh, I feel compelled to write down what I have been thinking about for some time now. Please bear with me though, as I may bring up a few old topics during this rant. Today I will be talking about the word Nigger.

Let me start by saying I do not have much of a problem with the word 'nigga.' Although the word's origins began in a derogatory sense in the form of 'nigger,' it has since evolved after the black community embraced it and brought it under a better light.

I won't go into an extensive history of the word. That is what Wikipedia.org is for. As it relates to AAs today, only recently have the changes been put in place to bring the word nigger where it is today. Race relations between AAs and Caucasians have been steadily progressing since the reformative sixties. The sacrifices of icons such as King and X do not go unnoticed. AAs during this time faced many hardships, including being constantly assaulted by Caucasians who knew no shame. Part of the assault was the use of the word nigger. This blatant outward racism has existed since black people were brought to this nation up until much of the eighties. People then born in the eighties would be too young to ever have been affected by this. It is why nigger is a word that touches the wrong cord of African-Americans who were born generally before 1980. (This estimate can swing five years in any direction) AAs born after this period have not been attacked with the word nigger anywhere near as much as those before them have. I do not suggest that AAs are no longer called niggers in a derogatory sense because that does happen, but what I AM saying is that the numbers are most definitely down for the generation born in the 80s.

African-Americans born during this time then heard from authority figures that the word nigger is "bad" and that "don't say that." What do we learn when people are told they cannot do something? The word becomes bigger than it ever was. It transcends itself as kids hear the word (from their parents mouths no less) and then are banned from saying it. It is nebulous, yet when it is heard, comes with as sharp an edge as the word "fuck." But no, this word is especially bad. It degrades black people. So then why did all of these young children in the late eighties and nineties hear so many black people saying it. They would not have heard it come out of a white man's mouth, unless in a rare slip of the tongue. America had changed, it was no longer acceptable for that type of behavior from white people, at least in public. So now these young black people are more comfortable with the word than their parents could ever be. Not only have they never been assaulted with the word, but they ALSO heard it all the time in regular conversation AND are then banned from using it! Therefore, there is no understanding of how hurtful it was for their parents and their parents parents to be called a nigger.

Now it is a part of our vocabulary and we have adapted it to fit our needs. It is now mainly a general term for black people among black people, no one else. How did this come to be? Well as we got older realization set in, "dam this really is a bad word." We did realize what the word meant/means, I mean, we still get mad when it is occasionally used against us. So how to compensate? We cannot just stop saying something that has been a part of our vocabulary for about ten years, too hard… So the word was rebranded. It became our word. We, the blacks, took a little power from the whites… and we ran with it holding it above our heads and screaming it everywhere we could; in books, (that was a lie, unfortunately too many black people do not read) music, poetry, and everywhere else we could scribble, scrawl, or scream it. In addition, the rules were laid; it is OUR word and no one else's. We quite literally own the word. It is also currently under partial lease by the Hispanic community and anyone else we grant special pardons to. Attack anyone not authorized under Article C of the Fair Nigger Use Act.

So now that we have this word and we took their power from it, how do we infuse it with our own rules? Well first, we dropped the 'ol "er". We cannot have that! People might confuse it with the old word. Our word is now 'nigga.' It's like going from the iPod Classic to the new iPod Touch. Now it's all fancy and defies the rules by ending in a vowel! Never mind the fact that it's basically pronounced the same or that the Touch still just plays media like the Classic, they're different! Even though the Touch does email, and internet and… I want an iPod… ok bad example but you get my point. We have rebranded the word to fit our needs. It now refers to our friends, black people in general, sarcastic people, poor people, pathetic people, funny people, our enemies, and things generally associated with black culture. See that black man stealing TVs? Yea, he's a nigga. "Dis nigga…." we say.

We are not going to ban or forget the word anytime soon. It is a part of black culture that has been with us since we were first forced to set foot on this continent. As the Civil Rights generation passes away, so will much of their bias against the word. This is of course not to say that it may not be reinvented and rebranded again. This time with an 'o'!!! Niggo they'll say… who knows… But our current use of the word does not demean or degrade us. It shows how we, as a collective, were able to take one of the weapons that the white man beat us with, and partially desensitize and customize it for our own use. And now we beat them when they try to use it. While calling them a cracker…..

A Perfect Day.....

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:46:00 +0000

Here I have presented two different perfect days. One for men and one for women. Read on....

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN:

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Clinton resigns.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

What would your perfect day be? I'm sure it's pretty close to what's up top! Respond in the comments!!!!

How To Concentrate On Writing During Dealines

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:45:00 +0000

Here are some useful tips for concentrating on writing when the all important, dreaded, deadline is looming.

Switch off email. I don’t start Outlook (or if I do, I disable all the notifications that tell me I have new mail).
Isolate myself. I use Bose noise-canceling headphones but don’t plug them into anything. The silence really is golden.
Greed and guilt. I remind myself how much money I’m getting paid for a particular assignment and how ashamed I will be if I miss the deadline. This actually works sometimes.
Stop with the blog already. When I’m pressed for time, distractions like blogging and hoovering become very compelling. Knowing this makes it easier to resist.
Get up early. 6am is the most productive time of day for writing. No distractions. It also feels more virtuous than staying up late with work.
Little treats. I bribe myself: ‘Matthew, if you write another 500 words, you can have a cup of tea and a biscuit.’
Chunking. Setting a timer or alarm clock for 15, 20, 30, 50 minutes and doing nothing but writing until it goes off and then taking a break seems like a good way to make progress.
Go full screen. Switching Word into full screen mode (from the view menu) eliminates all distractions but the piece I’m working on.
Shitty first draft. Splitting the work into distinct writing and editing phases breaks the job down nicely and it takes off some of the pressure to ‘get it right first time’.
Change location. Sometimes, if I’m really struggling to get started, taking a laptop or my notebook to a cafe and scribbling out something there - a fresh new location - is a good way to jolt-start an assignment.

Different Types Of Women

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:58:00 +0000

The female race (yes it is a race of its own) CAN be very complex. This mostly depends on how hard guys make things for themselves. It is my experience that most girls just want some dude to chill with and to be there for them. Not a man to fuck the brains out of from sunday to monday. (Please notice I said most). This is hard for a LOT of the male species to handle. So much so, that girls that won't "put out" are often ostracised (big word look it up).
Every guy (including myself I must admit) sizes up a female when he meets her. He then puts her into one of three MAIN categories. These categories have many subsets though. The categories are:

1. Cute/sexy girl -- I'd want to/will bang her.
2. Average looking -- Probly stay friends but I'd bang her.
3. Fugly chick -- The most we could ever be is friends, but I'd bang her if she's really puttin out.

(Based on first impressions)

As you can see, a guy's mind is always on sex. I have not included any relationship thoughts because only crazy people fall in love on first impressions. Lust and attractiveness is not love.

It is important for us males to think past just our primal instinct to spread our seed. Many a relationship has fallen apart because of a dependence on sex to sustain it. If you are with someone, sex should be secondary to the real felings that you have toward that person. It should be a way for you two to express your feelings. This cannot be stressed enough because a relationship with no substance that is based in a sexual relationship is doomed to fail.

Men just remember to be patient and you will get what you truly want in the long run. Getting rid of a girl because she won't put out is foolish. She probably just wanted a deeper relationship before giving it up. If you care about her, it will come. But if you don't care then drop that bitch! Just remember that one man's trash is another man's treasure (no disrespect to the ladies).

This is especially true because we all know that girls are evil, as shown here in plain math:

But more on evil girls later.

Friendships Between Men and Women

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:57:00 +0000

It's quite interesting to see the difference in the type of friendships that men have with each other and that women have with each other. And what makes this so funny is that it's so true.

Friendship Between Women:

* A woman didn’t come home one night…..
* The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.
* The man called his wife’s 10 best friends.
* None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Between Men:

* A man didn’t come home one night…..
* The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.
* The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends,
* Eight of which confirmed that he had slept over
* Two said that he was still there

All Men Are Assholes BECAUSE Women Make Them That Way

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 04:29:00 +0000

Are all men assholes? I propose that they aren't but most women seem to think so. Although I don't propose all men are saints, it is the women that cause all of this "All Men Are Assholes" talk.

I will elaborate in one of my next posts.

A Creation Myth

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:15:00 +0000

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty Years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that i s why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Source [ Turoks.net ]

A Story Of A Girl, And Her Grandma

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:45:00 +0000

The love one shares for one's family, it seems, cannot be measured by conventional means. The people who we stand by, who stand by us. The people who we will share a bond with for life, even if we never speak. This, is family. Sometimes, however, loving someone is knowing when to hold back so as to keep them safe. Here... is the story of a girl, and her grandma...

Untitled

I'm here in the hospital. Grandma got operated on this morning at about ten. I'm not so sure of the purpose of the operation but she doesn't seem to be any better. I decided not to go to school today, I wanted to be there for her. Uncle Miguel accompanied us and stayed with me in the waiting room while grandma went from surgery to the recovery room and now into her own private room. At about three in the afternoon, Ma and Pa showed up and at about six thirty we were informed that grandma was awake in the recovery room. The nurses told us that grandma could not talk and to make sure she undertood this. She was still under the effects of the anesthesia. Only two people were allowed to go in at a time. Miguel and Ma went first, then Pa. I wanted to go alone. When I went in to see grandma I was shocked. I just stared at her lying in her white-sheeted bed. There were tubes in her mouth and nose to help her breathe. The IV in her arm was causing a large greenish-purple bruise to form, and the monitor kept beeping her heart rate. I looked down at grandma's eyes- so grayish blue, more gray than blue. So sad, she looked so miserable. I thought she knew, I thought she could tell. Did she know? I felt miserable keeping such a secret from her. I kept looking at her eyes, her sad eyes . She reached up her hand and this low whispery sound escaped her mouth. Mama, ssshhh. The doctor said that you can't speak. Please Mama." I said. I gently took her hand and sat in the blue plastic seat beside her bed. I got up again and repositioned her pillow. I sat back down and stared at grandma. I stared at her face, full of wrinkles that told of her history, little deep lines and creases that seemed like the map of her life. I saw myself in grandma. I had the same fierce dark-brown hair, and the same curvy lips that were a little darker than the caramel skin we shared. I was the youthful version of grandma. The only thing we didn't share were those grayish-blue sad eyes. My eyes were dark brown, like coffee, with the sparkle of youth still in them. I got up to go, and let go of grandma's hand. I kissed her furrowed forehead, blessed her with the sign of the cross and then I walked out. As soon as I stepped out into the hallway, I broke into tears. I couldn't keep hiding the truth from grandma. How could I stare into those sad.... grey... eyes and act as if nothing was wrong, as if life was perfect. As the hot tears rolled down my cheeks, my vision became blurred. My breathing began to choke. I let out a deep sigh, removed my glasses, and wiped my tears from my eyes. It was hard to lie to grandma, she reminded me of myself. How could I hold this secret much longer. I knew that I couldn't let grandma pass away without telling her the truth. I had to tell her, that she had cancer...

--Diana Camejo

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Chris Crocker... Gay Activist

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 23:33:00 +0000

I recently came across a couple of interesting videos by someone named Chris Crocker. Apparently Mr. ~~Focker~~ Crocker is upset about a few things, one of which being how the media has treated Britney Spears recently. He gives a tearful ~~unnecessarily over dramatic~~ and emotional monologue explaining his point of view in this youtube video. But the videos I want to share with you today show a darker side of the Chris Crocker we now all know and love, his side chock full of hypocrisy and rainbow colored activism signs.

Apparently there's a lot of gay bashing going on on youtube and no one is there to end this injustice and save the day. Cue in... Chris Crocker. It is his job to quell the unmentionable high number of videos discriminating against all of the innocent gay, lesbian, transgendered, queer, intersexed, and questioning people of the world. He is their hero.. he is... Chris Crocker. Witness their hero educating the masses on the proper uses of the words 'bitch' and 'please' in the same sentence - Chris Crocker's 'Bitch Please' video. Now that we are thoroughly familiar with Chris, can I call him Chris? Let us see his activism in action!

Very inspiring. It's a tear jerker people. And now we see that large rainbow-colored activist/love for the people shroud come tearing down in his next performance... Voila!!

And I'll leave you with that video to think upon for another time.

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Gay People vs. The World

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:33:00 +0000

Everything allowed on T.V. including the ever popular, "The Real World," features guys kissing guys and girl-on-girl action. So I guess I'm not that surprised. And, although it's becoming more common, you don't see a same sex couple that often. Seeing two people of the same sex together is passed off as two friends, until you see a kiss or an extremely affectionate touch, then you realize you've witnessed something ~~wrong~~ different.

The general consensus is that it's okay for girls but not for guys. Although I agree with this double standard wholeheartedly, I must admit that it's unfair. This standard only really exists because we live in a male run society that grades itself on its masculinity on a daily basis.

Other people claim their homophobia is based on the bible but I'm calling bullshit on this one. I won't go into detail for fear of a religious war, but suffice it to say, anyone who will be so strict about the fact that God created man for woman better believe that the earth was created in 6 days, and that Jesus turned water into wine. I'm just sayin'. Because you can't pick and choose what you want to support out of the bible. Especially when I mention one book, Revelations.

With all that said... why do people care so much? Why exactly is being gay so wrong? Are you eradicating homosexualism because of your own insecurities? I think so. And I'll leave it alone for now.

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How To Write A Paper In College

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:32:00 +0000

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and AIM (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email/facebook.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email/facebook.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of limewire.

13. Check your email/facebook. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN/AIM chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email/facebook.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email/facebook.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email/facebook.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

Author-- Anonymous

Source [ Here ]

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6 Steps to Realize You're Gonna Fall Asleep In Class

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:19:00 +0000

It's something that we've all done at least once. The professor goes on and on and it seems almost impossible to keep your eyes open, much less pay attention. Fortunately I've put together a list to help students realize when the invader known as sleep approaches so that they may take necessary defensive actions.

You can't remember what was just said a couple minutes ago...
This is the beginning stages of falling asleep in class.
The enemy spies are testing the waters. They have slyly moved onto your lands, and you realize something is happening but you shrug it off as just daydreamiing.... bad decision. It is during this stage where you can either step it up and focus or possibly lose the battle all together.
You take a big sigh every once in a while...
Their messenger has just knocked on the front gates asking for a surrender.

You won't take it will you?Not even yawns... sighs. These are the sighs you take after your breathing begins to slow down signaling sleep. It's the "breathe in... out... in... out... big inhale... big exhale..." sigh.
All of a sudden your eyelids are REALLY heavy...
"They have lined up sire" Their army is standing right outside your gates ready to begin the battle. You realize that you may need reinforcements.....

It's a 'wtf' feeling at first because "I wasn't even really that tired" pops into your mind. But then it hits you that yea, you were that tired. You begin to fight back their droopiness. The only way to fight this is to have a friend nudging you in the side because your ability to fight the sleep is extremely weakened at this point.
Your head begins to resemble a bobblehead...
They've breached the front gate! They're poring in! What do we do sir? What do we do? The answer? Nothing... nothing you can do.

I'm actually sorry for everyone at this point because even if your seat happens to be dead center in the front of the class there is no turning back from here. Not even a friend (who was really helpful in the last step) with an unusually knobby elbow can save you now. You're down for the count as your head continually hits your chest.
That desktop is lookin' mighty comfy right now.....
You have laid down your arms and your army has completely surrendered. The city is occupied and women and children are being taken... This is where most people are caught sleeping during class. Your arms are folded in front of you on top of the desk and your head slowly begins its descent onto the makeshift pillow. Who ever knew forearms were so comfortable?! This is the end-stage. Anyone at this stage has failed to ward off the invading barrage of sleep during the past twenty minutes.
To everyone else in the classroom....
Let them sleep. After a battle like that... they've earned it....

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Please, Do Not Attempt This Game or You Will Go Insane

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 11:40:00 +0000

There's a game on the internet titled... "Hardest Game Ever" by some. After playing it, I definitely agree. Please I beg of you... don't play this game. Or, if you think that you are the only person that can beat it go ahead. I gave up at the beginning of the third level.

Check it out here.

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Pocket Taser

castellblog@gmail.com (Castellor) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 10:52:00 +0000

A guy who purchased his wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this over at www.dysan.net.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.??

AWESOME!!!?

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.??

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?! !??

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong???

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"??

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? ? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button,?and??

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!??

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, stupid, do it again!"??

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself!

You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.

A three-second burst would be considered conservative??

SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! Still in shock!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!?

Source [ Here ]

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