Unwinding Fabric of An Apples Mind

Old Stuff - 19

2019-09-30T20:38:00.002-07:00

Oh love of yours,

Be the love of mine,

And mine yours,

Endlessly.

18.12.18

Old Stuff - 18

2019-09-30T20:37:00.002-07:00

Words fail,

A steady heartbeat,

Is this what love feels like?

A serenity of a deep pool,

Undisturbed and calm.

11.11.18

Old Stuff -17

2019-09-30T20:36:00.004-07:00

If I had my way,

I'd make a home between your neck and collar bone,

Leaving marks like constellations.

Mine.

11.11.18

Old Stuff - 16

2019-09-30T20:35:00.006-07:00

Trust,

Is it found

In the crinkles of your eyes when you smile,

Or the warmth of your chest,

The spaces between your fingers,

Your steadfast eyes that gaze upon me,

A meeting of lips, chaste or deep.

It reverberates,

Atom by atom,

Making it's way to me.

11.11.18

Old Stuff - 15

2019-09-30T20:35:00.003-07:00

And through the years

I too would wonder,

What kind of person am I drawn to?

I never had an answer.

When I met you,

The answer was simple,

"He was sure"

And it was then I realized,

It didn't take much to love...

And be loved by me.

With you I didn't have to doubt,

Or worry I was hard to love.

And I wonder,

Is this what people find?

Is this what everyone looks for?

How lucky am I?

To love and be loved by you,

Thank you.

05.11.18

Old Stuff - 14

2019-09-30T20:34:00.006-07:00

I am a pebble in the ocean,

Descending and sinking.

You are the ocean floor,

Let your waves draw me home.

01.11.18

Old Stuff - 13

2019-09-30T20:34:00.002-07:00

You,

You who's spun out of stars,

Who's laugh reverberates down my spine,

You make love easy.

-.10.18

72

2019-09-30T20:33:00.002-07:00

I wonder

In 10 years, 30 years, 50 years,

Will I ever stop wanting you

71

2019-09-30T20:32:00.007-07:00

I'm being selfish,

I want to scream,

And have eyes that don't belong to me,

Notice me,

See me,

Even for a second

70

2019-09-30T20:32:00.003-07:00

What are these tears worth?

They can't save you,

They can't reach you,

And yet,

I cry,

Because you're hurting,

Always

69

2019-09-30T20:31:00.004-07:00

If I told you I was unhappy,

Would you steal me away from the life I chose?

You wouldn't,

I know.

But foolish hope remains.

68

2019-09-30T20:30:00.004-07:00

I think you'll always have a piece of my heart,

Be it for friendship or for love,

This part,

Will always belong to you

Old Stuff - 13

2019-09-30T20:29:00.007-07:00

Once again,

Another pool I can't enter,

Hurts,

It definitely hurts.

67

2019-09-30T20:29:00.003-07:00

The word,

Hurts me,

I joke about it,

But it still stings.

66

2019-09-30T20:28:00.002-07:00

Stop.

You feel it don't you?

The strain,

The pull on your heartstrings,

It's so easy,

That's what makes it hard.

Stop,

Before it all rushes out.

Old Stuff - 12

2019-09-30T20:27:00.002-07:00

Don't bank on it,

He's the same,

Eventually he'll go back to that one person,

Who he can't leave,

It's always the same,

I never learn.

And maybe I was wrong.

65

2019-09-30T20:17:00.005-07:00

Foolish memories,
We weren't dates and yet I had gone with you,
It didn't mean anything then,
Still doesn't now,
But what times we've let go,
Never knowing what would've been,
Had we held on.
01.10.19

.

2019-09-30T20:16:00.003-07:00

We're almost never the only version of ourselves

Warning

2019-09-30T20:15:00.006-07:00

Its the words,
My mother says,
Her intuition,
She's almost never wrong,
I know it,
And herein lies fear and doubt.

64

2019-09-30T20:15:00.002-07:00

The same familiar scene,
Laughing,
Mocking,
Teasing,
Baiting,
Goading,
Nostalgic and thrilling.
And then it hits me,
What this is,
The outstretched claws of a lonesome creature,
The howl for attention,
The frantic search for some semblance of warmth.
And I,
The safety net,
The everburning hearth,
Lay bare for the taking.
Same patterns,
Again and again.
29.06.19

63

2019-09-30T20:14:00.003-07:00

I'm perfectly aware,
That what he seeks,
Is not me,
Nor my presence,
It is the idea,
Of someone,
To not be alone,
Scared,
And lost.
I can but give comfort,
Without having his waves,
Pull me deeper.
28.06.19

Old Stuff - 11

2019-09-30T20:10:00.006-07:00

Drawing boundaries is a power move,
But you can't create boundaries and perpetually disrespect other people's boundaries,
That's just cowardice,
And manipulative,
What are you playing at?
If you want to know, ask.
Don't lurk on the rims for information,
Don't cling onto any vestige for a crumb,
Be an adult.

Old Stuff - 10

2019-09-30T20:10:00.002-07:00

Relationships in 2019,
Are toxic and damaging.
We invite people into our lives with social media,
Constantly seeking to voice out our feelings and thoughts,
Only to have people react,
Some times unkindly.
Some windows should stay closed,
We've all a choice to make

Old Stuff - 9

2019-09-30T20:09:00.003-07:00

I want to be needed, to be desired
I am needed when you share your troubles with me.
I know I want to be needed when I seek you out and listen and am curious.

I am desired, when you can't help but want to touch and monopolise me.
I know I want to be desired, when I dress up for you, and tease you and demand your attention indirectly.

Old Stuff - 8

2019-09-30T20:08:00.007-07:00

What if these are things I want because of my past.
What if I get bored each time.
What if this is all I amount to.