Unworker

My Dirty Little Secret

2012-01-12T22:51:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. Since I'm putting my personal self out there for you, I feel the need to make it right.

While I'm busy encouraging schools to start later, putting my kids to bed at a consistent hour every night and fighting to make high schoolers sleep needs a scheduling priority, I have not been practicing what I preach. I am guilty of burning the midnight oil. Well past midnight, I might add.

Maybe it's the New Year calling. Perhaps it's the extra awareness I have of the sleep needs of others. Falling asleep at red lights and losing patience with my kids is another sure sign that this situation must be remedied. In any case, I don't want to cheapen this effort as a "resolution", but it is a personal declaration. It is, in fact, a personal curfew.

If it's good enough for my kids and keeps them less cranky and much healthier, it's good enough for me. So, for the last two weeks, I have given myself an official "lights out" at 11:30pm. That is the absolute latest that I am allowed to stay up.

Unlike the old me, you will not find me on Facebook, checking email, completing writing assignments, folding laundry, using my computer or anything else after 11:30pm because I'll be asleep. And that is the LATEST I'm allowed to stay up. (I actually wrote this blog post the day after I planned to because I went to bed at 9:30pm!)

Perhaps the challenges of writing deadlines, a house full of young kids, school and extracurricular activities will force me to stay up as it did in the past. However, perhaps by enforcing this curfew, I will be forced to reprioritize what really has to be done during the day instead of leaving it for the night and sacrificing my own sleep needs.

After seven consecutive years of dealing with a nursing baby or pregnancy (or both!), my kids are all older and they all sleep through the night. So, the time is right for me to exercise that right as well. Yes, contrary to popular belief, sleep is not a priviledge, but a necessity.
It has only been two weeks and I'm noticing things, even as my laundry pile grows and the paper monster attempts to bury my desk.

The sore throat I had for two weeks went away.
I find it very easy to say "no" to requests and prioritize what is important.
I crave less carbs and sugary snacks and I'm losing weight.
While I cook dinner, I can run a load of laundry, make a phone call, coach through homework assignments, keep the little ones entertained with arts and crafts and dance with my kids.

I may be scrambling to get things done as I work them into a new routine and things certainly are not perfect (my kids have gotten clean clothes from the dryer and the dried out Christmas tree is still up), but now that sleep is a priority, I don't dread staying up past 1am to "get it all done". Frankly, I'm inefficient at that time and only able to operate at 50% anyway.

My curfew is like an important appointment that I set for myself. Just like a dental cleaning or a doctor's appointment, sleep is easy to put off, but hard to ignore in the long run.

This is another reason why www.StartSchoolLater.net has become such an important cause for me. Sleep needs can no longer be ignored or dismissed as a luxury.

Who's with me? Who wants to make sleep a priority this year? Post your thoughts below and share your insights. Just don't expect me to answer anything if it's past 11:30pm.

Start School Later

2012-01-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

I'll admit, I've been busy with a new gig to post much on my blog. However, I thought I'd summarize my involvement with StartSchoolLater.net, which is a passion that has sucked up all my "free" time.

I'm attaching my recent post on my blog on Severna Park Patch:

I have enjoyed being a Patch contributor for over a year. Now, Patch has graciously allowed me the space to air information topics that are near and dear to my heart.

I have seen first hand how a reader post from Severna Park Patch has blossomed into a widespread national campaign. From Temecula, CA, communities large and small have the ability to inspire, connect and engage a readership. These communities because of Patch Power.

I was so inspired by Terra Snider's original post and quest to petition the White House about starting school times later that local advocacy group, www.StartSchoolLater.net

Terra and I meet for coffee every other week and we plan and dream about a vision that is daunting. For the first time in years, unite across the country, effective change may be within our grasp. This kind of change would never be possible if small, disparate to fend for themselves. That's Patch Power!

Severna Park Patch was the first site to scoop this story. As a result, the issue of school start times will not be easily dismissed least considering the health, safety and equality of school age children.

With a blog comes certain freedoms. I get to post opinions and musings. I will continue to contribute objective local reporting space is a little more personal. And, trust me, it won't be too serious all the time. I'll be posting other things, like parenting strategies and things that I hope inspire you the way they inspire me. You get a chance to share the journey with me and suggest your ideas as well. Come along for the ride!
Frugally Yours,
Maribel Ibrahim
www.TheFrugalWriter.com

Why You Need a Budget (YNAB)

2011-11-30T15:23:00.001-05:00

I'll be honest, while I'm a mom first and blogger second, this opportunity is too good to pass up, so I had to post this today.

Another confessional I have is that I have not reconciled my bank accounts since last October because I refused to be bullied into buying the next generation version of Quicken. Frankly, it is not an upgrade if the prior version WILL NOT FUNCTION. I paid for it, and I'm OK with not getting support for it, but think about it. Would you continue business with your phone store if if the sales clerk dropped your phone in the toilet, then suggested an upgrade? That's what Quicken is doing with their "upgrades". They can stick their upgrades where the sun don't shine, dang it!

While I disagree with their business practices, they really had me because I've been using Quicken for 10 years. I refused to give them any more of my money, but I did not find an adequate replacement. That is, until now. Allow me to introduce you to my Quicken Replacement, YNAB (You Need A Budget).

I am not getting paid to write this and they are not giving me anything for it. But, when I did their 7 Day trial in September and we had that power outage, they generously gave me a 30 day extension, just because I asked for another week! Amazing customer service.

I was already planning on buying the software, because it did everything Quicken did for me faster and easier. And, you will never be forced to get a stinkin' upgrade if you don't want one. The interface is fluid and easy to understand. You can import online transactions and your prior financial files if you want. They will give you a phone tutorial and a web conference to show you all the neat features.

It is November and I still hadn't purchased it yet. Why? Because they generously gave me another extension that would last until Dec 7th. (They knew I'd be busy with Back to School stuff and traveling and eating for Thanksgiving....) That's another thing, the free trial is not a limited version of the real thing. It IS the real thing, in all it's glory. You will know exactly what you are getting and you get to try it out before you buy it.

As a Cyberdeal, YNAB has offered a 35% discount to current users to share with their friends. They then extended it to folks like yours truly, who are still using their trial license. However, the deal expires TODAY, November 30, 2011. Which is why I put off everything else to post this now!

If you already know that you will not be upgrading Quicken, but you need to find a replacement fast, YNAB is the answer. Trust me, I've been looking around. This software gets the full endorsement from The Frugal Writer because it will save you money, is a good one-time investment and will help anyone take charge of their finances.

The software retails for $60. I was going to take my lumps and pay the full monty because it would pay for itself quickly since I would never need to upgrade. However, you can get it for $39 (35% off) if you buy it here: http://ynab.me/cybertuesday

Try it... If you are not happy, they will give you your money back. Oh, and tell them The Frugal Writer sent you. I've already purchased the software, but hey, it never hurts to mention your friends.

Cashing in with Coupons at BJ's

2011-11-07T21:04:00.000-05:00


Saving Money is Hard Work!

I did it again. I went to the BJ's without my coupon book. Granted, I'm not much for cutting out a lot of coupons, but the monthly membership book can really save you money, especially if you are going to buy the items in the book anyway. Just buying a big box of diapers, paper towels, baby wipes and juice boxes with the right coupons can easily net you $15 in savings, just from the members coupon book. Not too shabby with hardly any effort.

My unsuccessful trip turned into an fascinating lesson in BJ's couponing.

Savings Scenario #1: Get an Extra Coupon Book at the store

Go to the Membership Desk and ask for a Members book. The lady in front of me did this. It was early in the month and she simply asked if the member books had been mailed out yet since she did not receive her copy. The associate said yes and asked for her membership card. The customer was given a pristine copy of the BJ's Journal and the Member's coupon book for the month. Genius!!

Obviously, you can't just grab a ton of these books and you should use the book you received in the mail. But, if you really did forget your book, why not ask for an extra that is just sitting at Member Services anyway? So, I did. (I was actually in line to return the second pack of paper towels that I mistook for toilet paper). Even though I finished my transaction and wasn't going to use these coupons now, I went ahead and asked for the coupon book. Cha-ching!

Next time I forget my coupon book, I'll ask for a book before I start shopping!

Savings Scenario #2: Return Coupons instead of Merchandise

Yes, I looked through the book to see if there were any coupon opportunities I missed. Sure enough, there was a $5 coupon for the diapers that I had just purchased and loaded in the van. It was naptime, so I made a plan to come back solo after dinner to return the diapers and buy another box of diapers with the coupon. You could argue that the time spent returning to the store might not be worth $5, but the thrill of saving money was enticing.

Now, here's where my return trip was indeed profitable. I mentioned to the Member Services associate that I was only returning the merchandise so I could go back and buy another one using the coupon. Would I be able to just return and repurchase it here with the coupon and save us both some time? She did me one better when she said, "You don't even have to bring the merchandise next time. Just bring in your member card, your receipt and the coupon and we'll redeem it for you." She promptly completed the transaction and handed me $5. Sweet!!!

This means that anytime I find a coupon for items that I purchased while the coupon is valid, I can still redeem the coupon AFTER the purchase. Better yet, I don't have to lug in the merchandise and "return" it. They'll just scan the receipt.

I found my BJ's Journal when I checked the mail and sure enough, there was a $3 coupon for the toilet tissue I just bought. No worries. Next time I'm at or near BJ's in the next two weeks, a quick trip to Member Services with my coupon and my receipt will net me an easy $3.

And, yes, you can stack manufacturer coupons for even more savings. Happy $hopping!

Boo Who?

2011-10-16T00:18:00.001-04:00

This post may draw some fire, but I think it's worth taking a chance. As a child, I have pleasant memories of Halloween - trick or treating, swapping candy with my siblings and cousins and watching scary movies. However, as a grown-up, I've struggled with a holiday that glorifies gore and evil. As a Christian, I have wavered on whether I should take part in Halloween celebrations, ignore them or somehow modify them to be unscary but still fun.

I live in an ugly, violent world and Halloween could be a way to glorify all this. While it's tempting to hide away and isolate myself from all the spookiness, I have found something worth trying. Getting Booed....

The concept is simple, go to www.BeenBooed.com, print out the "You've Been BOO-ed" poem and graphic and leave it with a sweet treat on some unsuspecting neighbor's front door. There's no ulterior motive. There's no plea to join a church. There's no position one way or the other of whether I'm promoting Satan's work on the most sacreligious of holidays. But there is something....

For the first time in a while, I am seriously contemplating leaving a secret treat to unsuspecting neighbors that I have never taken the time to connect with. I am expanding my horizons and looking at who in my community I could "BOO" since it's totally anonymous. It certainly is not evangelism, but who's to stop me from praying for my neighbor as I leave their treat? Who's to stop me from doing something kind? What can stop me from giving something fun and joyful to a complete stranger with no strings attached?

Check it out for yourself. There's no loaded message. But there is a way that I can pass on joy, kindness and to be a blessing during a holiday that already knows too much salty, scary, gory, ugliness.

Sunday Lonely Sunday

2011-10-05T21:55:00.001-04:00

It would have been a strange request a year ago. My friend, a faithful woman, with a strong legacy of children and grandchildren in church, is someone worth listening to. So, when she asked if she and her husband could sit alongside me to help me with my children in church, surprisingly, I was not offended.

Was it because my kids do somersaults on the pews and sing the fart song instead of the doxology? Was it because I was somehow incompetent or worthy of someone else's pity? Absolutely not. As my friend explained, she felt led by the Holy Spirit that this was something she should ask me. Remarkably, instead of giving into guilt or pride and trying to "hold it together" and "do-just-fine-by-myself-thank-you", I said, "That would be lovely, thank you."

It was a little awkward in the beginning that first Sunday. My kids weren't sure why "they" were here with us, but I just explained that "they" were friends that wanted to sit with us. It sure was handy when my oldest boy had to go to the bathroom and I didn't have to let him fend for himself and hope he came back within five minutes. If I needed to take someone out of the sanctuary for correction, I could leave the other kids in the watchful care of my friends.

As the service progressed, I had two, wiser, experienced coaches, gently guiding my children in the way of worship. I didn't feel bad, or ashamed or embarrassed. As I looked merely a few pews ahead to see their own grandchildren with their own parents, I knew that what I was being given was a true gift - the gift of family.

My secret confessional is that Sundays, for a long time, have been one of the loneliest days for me. It's quite the paradox, actually. I've got kids with me, tons of acquaintances to meet and greet and yet Sundays seemed like a cruel hoax. I do not have extended family nearby and my husband does not share my faith. So, as everyone gathers around to enjoy family time after church, I am sorely reminded that I'm on my own.

I don't know if my friend truly knows how much she has blessed me. I know also that the Holy Spirit guided me to this place, preparing a heart that would have otherwise been offended, ashamed and embarrassed. Amazingly, my friend does not feel sorry for me. She said, "Please don't take anything that I say as a criticism. I applaud you for bringing your kids each Sunday and doing it on your own. I just want to be here because I love you."

So there you have it. I don't go to a cool church. I have inherited an amazing church family.

Music Review: The Kelly Bell Band - Phat Blues

2011-09-24T01:41:00.000-04:00

Aside from Pandora and the PBS channel, my musical horizons pretty much match what is acceptable for the preschool crowd. So, when the hubby and I had the chance to go to the 44th Annual Maryland Seafood Festival without kids, watching a good concert wasn't even on the radar.

However, when I checked the listings and found a blues band starting, oh, about 10 minutes after we got there, I thought it would be nice to check out. I love watching any live music. And, after watching my fair share of kids entertainers and puppeteers at the mall, I'll sit through anything, especially if I don't have to chase after a few three foot groupies in the audience.

I was pleasantly surprised at the band that played. So much so, that this festival, for me, will be remembered as the Maryland Phat Blues Festival, with seafood as a mere side dish. The Kelly Bell Band, of Baltimore, was THAT good.

As we heard the strains of blues music playing and gathered to find a few seats on that clear sunny day, I was most impressed that this band was playing original music and no covers. With funny one-liners, like, "I dedicate this next song to my ex-girlfriend, because I hate her...", lead vocalist Kelly Bell entertained the crowd with amusing social commentary and smooth, rich vocals. Like an older, wiser Corey Glover, Bell's passion came through whether he was rocking out like Zeppelin or crooning like Lionel Ritchie.

Low and behold, the band that "didn't do covers" laid out an impressive juxtaposition of (but not limited to) BB King, Iron Maiden, The Commodores, Rick Springfield, Bo Diddly, The Jackson 5 and KC and the Sunshine Band. The passion for the music was clear as the band demonstrated a breadth of encyclopedic knowledge and deftly handled key changes, tempo shifts and whole, complete shifts in genre with sophistication and ease.

Covering Grand Funk Railroad's "We're An American Band", the Kelly Bell Band was a study in contrasts. The six-piece multicultural ensemble included the lead vocalist rocking out his dreadlocks to a hard rock classic. They looked nothing like the all-white Grand Funk, and yet, what they were doing was truly American - uniting different cultures, backgrounds and styles in a celebration.

This day was particularly memorable because it was also the tenth anniversary of 9/11. While the Kelly Bell Band put on a great show with good music and lots of laughs, the final, tribute song was unpredictably fitting. I'm sharing it here because Kelly Bell's a cappella rendition of "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" should not be misread as some trite version of sorrow.

Those that only know the song as a punch line may not know the origins of the song. An African American spiritual, the song is an ode to how suffering slaves looked forward to heaven, a much better place than where they were. For those of us left to deal with the rubble left behind on September 11th, Kelly Bell's offering soothed our bleeding hearts with a salve of hope, as blues music was created to do. Bell took a gamble on a song that might have been lost on most of his audience members. But in the end, he shared his heart and allowed us all to grieve with the hope for a better tomorrow.

Saving Time and Your Sanity with Errand Angels

2011-09-16T15:00:00.000-04:00

You are stuck in the house yet again with sick kids or maybe you are sick yourself. You just had a baby and the relatives have all gone back home. The emergency stash is dwindling and not only do you need to go to the store, you need to go multiple destinations criss-crossing town.

If you are like me, you don't have relatives nearby to lean on during these times. You realize that the kids will start rioting if you give them any more goldfish crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You really do understand that newspapers are not for wiping, but, well...

Chances are, there are a bunch of us in that same boat. A small army of women (and some men!) are currently driving around, frantically going from here to there to get all those errands done. Now, what if we could marshall the troops and get it done more effectively? How can we better use all this collective energy that is ALREADY buzzing around town?

I'd like to introduce the Errand Angel. She passes by your house, drops off your food and is merrily on her way. You get the emergency stash you need at a time when you can't get it yourself. Sound miraculous? It could be, and it's easy to do. All you need to do is ask.

You can harness the power of smartphones, texting and Facebook to accomplish this. If you are going to a particular store, send a shout out letting your friends know. You could even email your group the night before. If someone has a need, they can let you know (privately) and you can pick up their items while you are there. Still skeptical? Here's my story:

After a week-long recuperation from illness, I needed stuff from Trader Joe's and ALDI on the same day. The stores are in different towns, so I'd be hardpressed to make it to both with kids in tow. Out of desperation, I posted a note on Facebook, asking if anyone was heading to either location. I actually got two responses! I was able to go to ALDI and my errand angel got me what I needed from Trader's. Success!

I was so excited about my angel's help that I paid it forward when I went to ALDI and asked if anyone needed anything while I was there. Since I run the same errands every week, along with other angels, this could start becoming something useful. Errand Angels could easily stop by libraries, Post Offices and more. I better start coming up with some ground rules.....

Errand Angel Guidelines:

The Errand Angel does not make a special trip. They would have been going to the store, library or dry cleaners anyway.
The drop must be near the store or the angel's house. The idea is to reduce driving.
Do not give a laundry list of items. Max out at five shopping items in a cart total. This is a favor, not a replacement for your regular shopping.
The recipient understands that the Errand Angel cannot guarantee that the stop will be made. This is a courtesy service, aka favor, not a business transaction. Life with kids is unpredictable, so it is understood that the Errand Angel is not obligated to complete the run if she encounters difficulty.
Make sure you pay for your stuff. Give your Errand Angel cash beforehand or write a check.
Pay it forward and make an offer to drop-off or pickup something (if you are willing and able) when you are running errands.

Frugal Food Fast: Chi-candy

2011-09-09T11:45:00.000-04:00

Every once in a blue, you find a recipe that is easy and tasty to whip up and allows you to have versatility as well.

Chi-candy is one of these recipes. It's fast, adheres to the Frugal Writer Project Management Criteria, which also applies for recipes. The original recipe can be traced to Hellman's Mayonnaise, but I've modified it to suit our family's taste.

My friends from a former playgroup called this Chi-candy because our kids would eat up this chicken like it was candy.

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup Ranch Dressing
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 1-1/4 lbs.)
4 tsp. Italian seasoned dry bread crumbs

(The Puerto Rican in me may add Adobo/Sazon to the chicken beforehand, but it's not really necessary. The chicken comes out that good.)

INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 425°.
Combine Ranch Dressing with cheese in medium bowl.
Arrange chicken in baking dish. Evenly top with ranch mixture, then sprinkle with bread crumbs.
Bake 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked. (If you use more chicken, it may take longer).

For a lower calorie version, you can skip the bread crumbs or use low-fat ranch dressing. I've also stretched the dressing for 2-3 lbs of chicken. You cannot burn this thing and the chicken comes out moist and tasty. This recipe definitely gets two thumbs up because you can cook a lot of chicken fast and dice it up for use in other recipes.

!Buen provecho!

I've Got a Girlfriend

2011-09-02T14:47:00.094-04:00

Like a high school crush, I am blushing and excited over my new girlfriend. Don't get me wrong. I am a married mom of three kids and have no intentions of changing that status. It's just that, well, gosh darn it, I have found an amazing girlfriend!

This is a huge development in my world because prior to kids, my goal oriented, Type A personality was well suited for an Engineering career dominated by men. I may have had a few close friends growing up, but something always happened to derail those friendships. People have a fascinating way of putting their best feet forward, then do a 180 when they can no longer keep up with the charade. Like Holden Caulfield, my disdain for the "phonies" kept me at bay from really connecting with people.

I've always been a take-it-or-leave-it kind of person. I'm strong. Independent. Self-sufficient. (Hear the roaring in the background?) I may have scared a few folks away with my strong, outgoing ~~odor~~ personality, but I was never good at pretending to be someone else. And frankly, I didn't need anybody else, thank-you-very-much.

However, when the mind-bending event of motherhood overtook my life, I was left drowning in a stormy sea with no life raft. Merely a few broken pieces of deadwood to hang on to while I scraped by to keep it together. It's been seven years, and I still look on with envy at the "other moms" who met at a park and remained friends since their firstborns were babies. I stare wistfully and lament that I don't have sidewalks or neighbors with kids that drift easily in and out of each other's houses.

Make no mistake. I was not a wallflower waiting for someone to ask me to dance. I was active. I was the President of a MOMS Club, a playgroup coordinator, newsletter editor, cheerleader, lactivist. I did it all. Perhaps I was too good. I'm reminded of the story of a beautiful girl who ended up staying home for the prom. She was so attractive that no one had the courage to ask her out. In the end, NO ONE asked her out. In the same way, maybe my strong, "got-it-together" exterior has led many to think I don't need company or help. Ahhhh, the irony.

So when I got a call from a mom of one of my son's classmates, I was happy but not holding my breath. A playdate might lead to something more, but I was not going to get my hopes up. I was so used to being on the other end of that phone line, asking about a playdate or meeting at a park, hoping I didn't sound desperate or crazy.

Like the teenaged orphan that is no longer cute, I feared that people would think something was wrong with me because I have older kids and still suffer from loneliness. Between mamas going back to work, moving out of state or having kids at different ages and stages of life, my mama friendships never grew past the cordial greeting or Facebook post.

Even though it sounded cliche, I was "just about to call her" and told her such when she beat me to the punch.

Thank goodness the boys were such good friends because they demanded playdates. I knew I found "the one" when "his mom" talked more than I did and unflinchingly told me about how hard it was to find playmates and the isolation that she felt as a result. I was tempted to kiss her feet and burst into tears, but I held it just long enough so that she would not run for the door.

Like the rejected class nerd that has sudden popularity, I struggle with thoughts that this too, will not last. Maybe next year, she'll move, get a job, pick her nose, or find something else better to do than to just hang with me (and my kids...) At the risk of another broken heart, I'm plunging forward, enjoying our time while it lasts.

Making Homemade Goo (or Slime)

2011-08-28T20:09:00.002-04:00

Between the recent earthquake and the hurricane, the thought of entertaining kids with no electricity may seem daunting. However, here's an activity that is easy on the wallet, adheres to the Frugal Writer Project Criteria, and will keep the kids entertained for a good while.

I gratefully acknowledge Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D. for her great post on this subject and the accompanying recipe:

Homemade Goo (or slime)

Ingredients:
1 c water
1 tsp borax
1/2 c Elmer's or school glue (one 4oz bottle)
1/2 c water

Instructions:

Mix the first two ingredients in a bowl
Mix the next two ingredients in another container, preferably one with a lid, so it can be used as a storage container. Stir well.
Dump the borax-water solution into the glue solution. You'll be amazed, the stuff starts glooping immediately.
Add food coloring if desired.

Part of the fun is actually having the kids stick their hands in there and mix up the goo. If the solution is too watery, you can pour off some of the water. The more the kids play with it, the more goopy it gets! Store it in an airtight container or ziplock bag so that it does not dry out.

As far as food coloring goes, you can add it to the goo anytime. We attempted to make a rainbow tie dye version, but eventually, the colors just run together anyway.

This goo will keep for two weeks in a sealed container. My kids, including my rambunctious boy and his high energy best friend will play with this stuff for at least an hour and making it is part of the fun. The goo will get into clothes and may not come off right away, but since everything is made of water soluble ingredients it comes out in the wash just fine. Great for indoor days, when you have no power or when you just need the boys to stop jumping off the couches for a spell.

Five Point Project Management Criteria

2011-08-28T20:02:00.000-04:00

The Frugal Writer's stringent criteria for attempting any at home project is as follows:

It has to be easy to do
It must save money or time (or both!)
It should be environmentally friendly, or at least improve conservation efforts (reduce, recycle, reuse)
It must require less than 5 steps and/or 5 ingredients or less
It must be a project that can be broken down and completed in 15 minute increments

This criteria follows for any cooking recipe, craft project, chore around the house and any other thing that I would like to accomplish with kids underfoot. If a project does not meet this criteria, it will probably not get done unless the kids are elsewhere and I still have the energy and will to complete it.

This set of standards is a great way for me to let go of pipe dreams, such as exotic recipes or anything else with zero guilt. And, yes, I have assembled IKEA cabinetry in 15 minute increments...

Freebie Friday: Free Massage Winner!

2011-06-19T16:55:00.005-04:00

According to Random.org, the winner of the Freebie Friday Free Massage Giveaway is Cheryl Brazerol!!!! Congratulations Cheryl!

http://twitter.com/#!/cherylbrazerol

Please be sure to DM @thefrugalwriter on Twitter or email mar4jc at verizon.net with your contact info so I can send you your prize!

Our Vocabulary

2011-05-30T07:55:00.017-04:00

Below is a compendium of my favorite words my children have reinvented:

The Boy
egg diving = coloring eggs, using done around Easter time
elmo = pseudonym for toy, especially a red and white walking toy and a red and blue riding car
ice tream = nice cool treat
pobo stick = a toy used for hopping around
floward = not in reverse (the boy still says this now!)
moak = white liquid that comes from mommies and cows

first "official" word = agua (water in Spanish)

The Girl, aka Perry the Platypus
Ainan = her older brother
gasoline = chemical used in a pool to kill germs
nuddix = chunks of chicken (or fish) covered with a breaded batter, sometimes fried or baked
tete = leche, spanish for milk
yodurt = curdled milk

first "official" word = Tada! (alright, so maybe it's not a word, but it was her first use of context)

Biscuit
agia = water, derived from Spanish agua
Booby = cartoon dog that travels with psychedelic group of kid detectives
da-dee-day! = yellow school bus, may have originated from an attempt to say, "there it is!"
flies = fried potatoes, usually served at McOnas or Ick Fiyay
gata = shortened form of "galleta" (Spanish for cracker)
i.e. = ice cream, not to be confused with the study of Operations Management or Human Factors Engineering
nine! = (increased emphasis) possessive noun, not to be confused with the German word for no
nana = food, used often in combination with nine!
Obamas = comfy clothes you wear at night
queue me = what you say after you burp
tank you = using his manners
Toody = famous rag doll toy that says, "There's a snake in my boot!"
Yaya = his sister

first word = "Doggy!" (In Biscuitese, Doggy is actually ANY four footed animal...)

Making Dinner Plans

2011-05-26T15:45:00.000-04:00

Turning into a mermaid at Trader Joe's

While I started with the best intentions, dinner planning has become quite a lame effort for me. I make sure to have a meat for the hubby and the main dish and something else that I know my two younger ones will eat, like pasta and nuggets. My plans to eat only healthy, unprocessed foods quickly gave way to timesavers that I knew my kids would eat instead, even if they were not the most nutritious fare.

Here's a conversation I had today with the girl (4yo), while we were out running errands:
(I'm calling her Perry, because lately, she insists that she is Perry the Pet Platypus)

Perry: Mami, can we have macaroni and cheese?

Me: Oooh, yeah, that sounds like a great idea for dinner.

Perry: Yeah, and everybody can eat it. {Instead of the separate things the kids eat vs the grownups}

Me: We could have fish sticks to go with it {since I didn't make enough yesterday and she really wanted some.}

Perry: Oooh yeah, and can I have broccoli too?

Me: Oooh, that's a perfect dinner. A veggie, a carb and a protein. That's a great idea, girlie!

Perry: That's what I'm talking 'bout!

I cracked up at the last statement, said with perfect timing and inflection. My little mini me is becoming adventurous. To actually dream that she'd eat three DIFFERENT foods at one sitting is borderline miraculous.

Making dinner plans like these sure lightens my load.

Freebie Friday: Win a Free Massage

2011-05-13T17:17:00.003-04:00

I have in my possession a $35.00 gift certificate which entitles the bearer to a free 20 minute massage and complimentary checkup at Kennard Chiropractic & Physical Therapy in Severna Park.

It's easy to enter to win! Just visit The Frugal Writer on Facebook, like my page and post a comment there saying you want the free massage. To track your entry, you can also add your name to the Mr. Linky list below, but you must like The Frugal Writer to qualify.

A winner will be picked randomly and announced on Friday, June 17th!

Current Events: The Osama Story – Our Style

2011-05-02T08:14:00.003-04:00

Me: Well, it looks like they finally got Osama.

The Boy: Wow, so who is our President now? (Poor kid, he’s only 7…)

Me: Well, the names sound the same, but the two people are very different. Obama is our President. Osama is a leader who killed many people in our country and around the world.

The Girl: Then why didn’t we die?

Me: Well, because we have the Army, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines keeping our country safe.

What a privilege it is to live in a country where we can pretty much go, do and say as we please. Thank you service men and women, and your families, for all that you do to keep our country free and for completing a long-awaited mission. May God keep you safe in these turbulent times and give our leaders wisdom.

Easter 2011: His Name is Mark

2011-04-30T15:59:00.014-04:00

Easter Lily, a photo by **Mary** on Flickr.

I cried when I got the news. I wasn’t ready for another baby. I wasn’t ready to add another washing machine to the spin cycle of my life with three other little ones. After taking the pregnancy test, I wept bitterly and told God that I wasn’t ready for this one. It was the first time I was not happy about the little blessing growing inside of me.

My world was turned upside down in an instant. It took about two weeks for the shock to wear off, and in usual tradition, we would tell NO ONE until after the first trimester. Then, I began to embrace the news. Yes, I’d have to start all over again with sleepless nights and spit up and diapers. But, there would be four! God saw fit to bless me, so I rejoiced in the blessing. Yes, I was a bit worried that four might be my breaking point, but God knew what He was doing. My little pumpkin was due November 4^th, a perfect accompaniment for the “biscuit’, my youngest boy. I was floored that I’d be the mother of four. I’m pretty sure that he was a boy, but I won’t know for sure until I get to meet him in heaven.

After 11 weeks, I got more devastating news. Baby was only the size of a 6 week old. He had not grown for 5 weeks. It made perfect sense now. During my pregnancy, I struggled to eat. (Those of you that know me know I love food!) While I didn’t get “morning sickness”, I felt a queasy uneasiness for weeks at a time.

Did I feel a sense of relief, knowing that I wouldn’t have to start all over again? Not in a million years. I loved this baby and grieved that I would not be able to see him or get to know him. It was only 11 weeks, but in that time, I turned my wants and desires to God. With prayer, I got excited about baby. Meanwhile, hubby and I talked about long-standing unresolved issues. We started a new page of dialog in a relationship that had gone dusty and dry with neglect.

A post that really helped me deal with my loss is here. It’s a bit graphic, but knowing that I was going to go through a miscarriage before it actually happened, I wanted details. I wanted to know what to expect and the writer’s experience was touching and moving.

Thankfully, I was also able to say goodbye in the privacy of home. As I “birthed” the baby that was not to be, I named him, said goodbye, and thanked God for the precious gift He gave me. April 20^th, 2011 at 1:55pm is my commemoration, and I decided to name him Mark. The name is fitting because he left quite an impression on me in his short life. His name is only one syllable, a break in the usual two-syllable convention I’ve preferred for naming my kids. Like his short name, Mark’s brief life served a purpose.

I realize even more poignantly what a miraculous gift my three beautiful, healthy children really are. I envision that as my husband and I made an appointment to see a counselor early in my pregnancy, God called Mark home, telling him that his work here was done.

Hubby and I are both saddened by the news. But a spark has started. A seed has been planted that will allow us to grow and communicate better with each other. In Mark’s place, our relationship is undergoing a resurrection. Just as in the Easter Story, I rejoice because while Jesus died, He rose again. That is the hope that transcends death.

Quick and Easy Homemade Laundry Detergent

2011-03-24T15:57:00.002-04:00

After much procrastination and puttering around, I have finally gotten around to making my own homemade laundry detergent. This project meets The Frugal Writer's stringent criteria:

It has to be easy to do
It must save money or time (or both!)
It should be environmentally friendly, or at least improves conservation
It must require less than 5 steps and/or 5 ingredients or less
It must be a project that can be broken down and completed in 15 minute increments

While I can't take credit for concocting the recipe, once I reviewed three different sources saying the same thing, it was time to take action.

My favorite supersized family, The Duggars, make their own laundry detergent, but they devote a day to it and end up with a gooey liquid. That was out of the question for me because it only met two of the five criteria. I needed something fast and I wanted something dry, lest I have a castastrophe in my house of whirling dervishes.

Powder was the recipe of choice and I ended up going with Jabs Homemade Laundry Detergent. The recipe fit all my criteria and I already had a bar of Fels Naptha soap on hand, along with the borax and the washing soda. When Jabs mentioned the cost savings and the fact that the powder fits well in a 32oz yogurt container, I knew this was a post after my own heart.

Does it work?

I give it a resounding yes!!!! I have a high energy front loader and I just make sure to put the 1Tbsp of powder in with the clothes so I don't have to worry about clogging. The detergent is low sudsing and leaves the clothes with a basic, clean scent. I also wash cloth diapers and the soap is gentle enough for baby's skin but gets the grime out. The first time I used the homemade detergent with diapers, I forgot to add my vinegar rinse and the diapers still smelled great.

So there you have it. I would have done this much sooner if I would have known how easy it is.

A SIMPLE RECIPE
(From Matt Jab's http://diynatural.com/simple-easy-fast-effective-jabs-homemade-laundry-detergent/ blog post)

Each batch yields approximately 32 ounces (between 32-64 loads based on how many Tbsp used per load).

■1 bar of shaved bar soap (Ivory, ZOTE, Fels-Naptha)
■1 cup of borax
■1 cup of washing soda

1. Grate the bar soap.
2. Add the other two ingredients.
3. Stir well (or shake it in your yogurt container....)

That's it!

Believe it or not, Fels Naptha soap is locally available at the HARDWARE store!!!! I hate to admit that I stumbled across the Fels Naptha last year, while getting babyproofing stuff and left the bar of soap to languish in the laundry room until I stumbled across http://www.diynatural.com/

I just bought more Fels Naptha to make my second batch of detergent. If I can do it, anybody with a pulse can do it.

A Contrite Heart

2011-03-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

This Lenten Season started with a crushing blow. After many talks and discussions, elevated punishments and shorted patience, we did the unthinkable. We cancelled the boy’s birthday party which was to happen in a few weeks. The behavior in school was getting worse and it didn’t seem to phase him one bit. So, we had to up the ante. Interestingly, hubby and I talked it over ahead of time and we were both in agreement about it.

At dinner, hubby delivered the news. The boy’s face mirrored what I felt inside. He was crestfallen and couldn’t believe it. He was also speechless, which is indeed a rare sight. While I was glad that the boy realized the severity of the punishment, it gave me no great joy to administer the sentence.

That night, it was also Ash Wednesday. While I am a reformed Presbyterian, as a Catholic growing up, Ash Wednesday and the Lenten Season are sacred traditions that are dear to me, so I wanted to go to an Ash Wednesday service. The boy, having lost his TV, computer and games privileges was a virtual prisoner in his room. So, while he wasn’t exactly leaping at the chance to run off to church with me, it afforded us some alone time to get away from the dark mood of the house.

While the boy was sad, I also felt a wrenching grief inside. Looking back, there would be a conspicuous gap in pictures and birthday memories for 2011. There would be no fun birthday party with his friends (and my friends, their parents!) The time that I used to mark my induction into motherhood would also be an unmarked blip in space. Heck, the birthday party, while it’s something done to honor him, is something important for me as well!

One of the most poignant parts of the evening was when the boy lamented, “I wish I could take back time. I’d do things better and I’d have my party.” I said, “You can’t go backward, but you can go forward. There will be other birthdays and other chances.”

We trodded off to church with our heavy hearts. I had already explained that the church service was going to be a solemn event. There wouldn’t be any joyful singing or carrying on like that. And yet, the service was a divine blessing for both of us. While it might have been spooky for the boy to understand that our bodies turn to dust when we die, the sadness of recent events really brought home what Ash Wednesday means to me.

Do I love my son less because I took something away from him and had to punish him? Certainly not. In the same way, God sometimes allows bad things to happen to us, or more importantly, to His Son, Jesus, so that we can try to understand the depths of His love for us. My son will still make mistakes and need correction and forgiveness. In the meantime, I will never stop loving him, even if he doesn’t “get it”. God is the same way with us. Even when we mess up, He is still there to forgive us and guide us, if we let Him do it and get out of our own way.

Zarbee's Giveaway Winner!!!!

2011-03-02T22:13:00.001-05:00

I am happy to announce that Gloria Beach-Popp (www.twitter.com/XmasSpode) of Angels Camp, CA is the winner of the Zarbee's All Natural Children's Cough Syrup!!! Gloria successfully met all the easy requirements of the contest and will be getting a free bottle of this wonderful natural remedy.

You can read my review here.

Gloria, congratulations again on winning this giveaway! Please be sure to either DM me on Twitter, inbox me on Facebook with your contact info so we can send the Zarbee's your way!

IKEA Visit on President's Day

2011-02-23T21:09:00.002-05:00

While building my IKEA storage cabinets, I needed a level. I'm really starting to love my iPhone....

We had a great visit to my favorite furniture store, complete with the boy and the girl making their rounds in Smaland. You should have seen hubby, the biscuit and I work the store and get all the stuff on our shopping list for the hour that we had. Oh, and we all got to eat at the restaurant for free since we spent over $100 on our cabinets. We love IKEA, especially when school is out! Not too shabby....

Review & Giveaway: Zarbee's All-Natural Children's Cough Syrup

2011-02-02T22:27:00.004-05:00

Mothers of little ones know all too well the struggle of soothing kids with coughs and colds. Fortunately, there is an option available for preschoolers called Zarbee's All-Natural Children's Cough Syrup.

We had the chance to personally try out this product and it has three significant advantages:

You can safely give this syrup to babies that are 12 months old. Most manufacturers recommend using their product if the child is older than two years of age.
The ingredients are all-natural, based on a proprietary mix of honey, vitamins and immunity boosters. You can feel confident that this is a safe remedy to try out which will not react with other medicines.
It is available at larger pharmacies and retailers, such as Walgreen's, Wegmann's and Weis.

The syrup is fairly thick so it may be better to use a dosing syringe for little ones. We tried the grape flavor and while it is a little tart, there is no chemical taste and it was easy going down.

The big question is, does it work? I can definitely give a resounding thumbs up. My six year old woke up complaining of a sore throat one morning, so I gave him the syrup. It was a bit sour for him (he might prefer the cherry flavor, over the grape), but Zarbee's soothed his throat immediately. He went to school and didn't complain once about a sore throat again.

My little 17month old eyed the medicine and since he had a little cough, I decided to try it with him as well. The grape was a bit tart for his taste, but using a syringe, I was able to slow down the amount that he swallowed and it did provide relief.

The Frugal Writer loves to save money, so I'm pleased to tell you that you can get a $1 off coupon right from the Zarbee's website.

My results are unscientific at best, but you can have a shot at trying this remedy out for yourself with my Free Giveaway of a 4oz bottle.

Here's how to enter:

Like Zarbee's on Facebook
Like The Frugal Writer on Facebook
Follow The Frugal Writer on Twitter
Add your link using the Mister Linky widget below and leave a comment here confirming actions 1-3 and and why you'd like a sample of Zarbee's.
Send an email with your email or contact information to mar4jc at verizon dot net

The winner, chosen at random, will be picked and announced on (giveaway extended!) Monday, February 28th, here, on Twitter and on Facebook.
Best wishes!

Disclaimer: I was not paid for this product and only received a sample to provide this review.

Quick Tips: Fast Cooking in the Kitchen

2011-02-01T19:08:00.002-05:00

Here are some fast cooking tips that you can use right when you are in the thick of attempting to get dinner done.

1. When pressed for time, cut whatever you are cooking into smaller pieces. Meats, potatoes, etc, cook much faster when the pieces are small. This is the reason why stir fry foods cook so fast.

2. Ground meat always makes a great meal fast. Even if it's frozen, you can still quickly brown it while cooking pasta for a quick, filling meal in about a half hour.

3. Still in a rush? Use a lid to cook foods faster and retain moisture. This saves time and energy because the lid traps heat that continues to help cook the covered food.

4. Need to thicken something that came out too watery? Just add a bit of flour or cornstarch. This will absorb extra fluid and can give a dish a nice, creamy texture.

If you want more cooking inspiration, check out my Ten Fast and Easy Cooking Tips.

Frugal Families: Slash Your Grocery Bill with Coupon Mom

2011-01-31T05:03:00.001-05:00

My mother is the queen of coupon clipping. She would even get extra copies of the coupon inserts, scour the circulars for savings and combine coupons, store sales and double and triple coupons to get huge deals on her groceries and toiletries. This all took a Herculean effort. While she did save a tidy sum each week and got a boatload of stuff for free, this approach is not for the faint of heart. Nowadays, another coupon clipping guru has developed an amazing online tool that gets you the savings you want with a lot less work. Allow me to introduce you to the Coupon Mom.

Coupon Mom is a great way to maximize your savings while reducing the effort spent clipping those coupons. I call this targeted coupon shopping. You can visit her website to get the specifics, but here is a quick summary of how it works:

Save your coupon inserts and write the date of it on the front in marker. There are three companies that provide these inserts each week: Redplum, Procter & Gamble (P&G), and Smartsource. Just keep doing this each week and find a nice place for your coupon insert stack.
Peruse the couponmom website to get the week’s deals by store and state.
Select the deals you want and you can email the list to yourself.
The deals will list the specific coupon to use by date and coupon insert. You simply gather the appropriate insert, and find and clip the coupons you want.

In fine frugal fashion, CouponMom.com is free and is paid for by advertising. They maintain a database of coupons by date and match the store sales with current, unexpired coupons. With Coupon Mom, you only clip the coupons you want and you reap bigger savings by using the coupons when the products are on sale.

Still skeptical? Being an Industrial Engineer by trade, I conducted a personal test to assess the viability of this project. My time study revealed the following: It took less than 5 minutes to browse through the site and generate a list of the deals I liked for 3 stores (Giant, Walgreen’s and CVS). In fact, I did it on my smartphone while watching TV. Once I printed out my emailed list, it took me 10 minutes to go through the coupon inserts and find the coupons I wanted for one store.

With the kiddies in bed, I proceeded to my test store, Giant, that night with my banana, water bottle, CouponMom list and coupons in hand. I scanned the aisles and was able to get most of the items I wanted and check out in 30 minutes. Things were definitely much faster without the kids. I was able to find the sale products and match them with my coupons without too much trouble.

Here are my stats for this quick trip: I bought 19 items, which retailed for $70.98. I ended up paying $38.69, just a little more than half the price. Most of these items are loss leaders, or the items that are on sale that week, such as the buy one get one free pork chops and the 10 for $10 specials. However, I was also able to use 3 coupons in order to get shampoo for $0.89, a free box of bandages, and four large boxes of brand name cereal for $1.75 each.

The end result: for an extra 15 minutes worth of work, I saved $5 in coupons. That’s like earning $20 an hour! I also saved time preselecting the items I wanted for sale without having to bother scouring over the circular and comparing prices. CouponMom makes coupon clipping worth the effort.

This article appeared originally as a blog post for the Frugal Families blog on Chesapeake Family in October 2010.