UP NEPA!

Journal Number iDontRemeberWhereIStopped: This Competition Thing They Make Us Do In School

2013-05-02T23:01:00.001+01:00

My roomate's called him about two days ago. His dad told him something about taking something from whoever was leading the class.
I dunno how this happened but it took me back to primary 1.

After primary 1, my primary school had the prize giving day. It just so happened that the person that was awarded the first position wasn't the first person to submit in any of the exams.

Now I left nursery school about a year before. There was so sort of competition in nurse school. Suddenly, it's prize giving day after primary 1 and they're saying Tofunmi is first. Tunde submitted first. I was genuinely confused.

I didn't get the concept of grades, recording and position until I moved to Sunnyfields in primary 3.

My 4 year old mind just couldn't understand the point of positions. In my head, 'carrying first' meant doing something and finishing before others. Like during inter-house sports.

What I read today?
Just check @seyitaylor's timeline http://twitter.com/technesstivity. Everything is there

Flipboard is saying they'll give us version 2.0 on Android soon. So I can do a magazine of stuff I read.

Journal 16: Do We Decide Who We Become Or Do Our Parents Mess Us Up?

2013-03-30T23:52:00.001+01:00

So I've spent about 2 months in Uni and I'm beginning to draw some conclusions. There are people who always take other people's stuff without permission. No, you can't take my only slippers and USB cord out for the weekend without asking me first. Kweh.

By the end of the first month, people touching my property became a trend. I realised it was happening on a large scale. At first I thought my roommates were being plain annoying, then I realised guys from other rooms will come to my room and be opening up my butter and be spreading it inside their bread. I don't even know you man. No, you can't ask in Twi.

There are the kids who are obviously just tasting freedom for the very first time in their entire life. They're excited about going out at 4pm. Or that we're outside till 8pm. Ajustdongetit.

Then there are the people who study a lot because somebody has put it in their head that they're sweating in Lagos on their behalf. I don't know how Baba did this but everytime I'm working on an assignment or studying for a test and I'm about to sleep. I ask myself if the man paying my school fees is sleeping. Then I laugh at myself and my father's bald head.

On the other hand, there are kids I know, whose parents definitely instilled super-discipline into them and the merits of hardwork and stuff but they've just refused to budge. Or they've refused to remember. Or some stupid reason.

Like, why would you sleep from 8PM and still not wake early for your 7AM class. Then the lecturer talks about stuff that no one in the entire class writes down. It shows up on the test and you don't know it. Odo.

Okay so basically, I'm saying as much as our parents drill us and bring us up in 'the way of the Lord' or Darth Vader, we owe it to ourselves to decide to go in that way or not. Like, there's no one here to make me work on my project but it's something I have to do. Apart from the fact that I like facing such challenges, the Baba that has called me 5 times this weekend, deserves a nize fuxt clazz zatific8 yanaah.

So emm, Mummy and Daddy, if you guys ever decide to be Internet addicts and you find this, you people did a great job bringing me up. You deserve a Nobel Laureate in parenting. E kare laye.

Image: Someecards.

Umm, I've figured out that copying and pasting links of all the stuff I read is tedius and I don't always remember to bookmark them or send to evernote. So you can check my bit.ly profile here for all the links I've tweeted in recent times. I might delete that page soon though.

Journal 15: Selling Pure Wateh In Foreign Kawntry

2013-03-11T00:49:00.000+01:00

I might decide to write this post entirely in a Ghanian accent beces, Nana won't let us hear word on this thing.

Okay.

In my second week here, it suddenly occured to me that we'll usually go to the grocery store downstairs to buy water. Plus, the sales guy doesn't interact with us foreigners. He's not deaf and dumb.

It also occured to me that a bag of water cost 1.50 cedis. Each bag contains 30 sachets and each sachet costs 0.10 cedis. The grocery store probably buys the bag between 1.00 or 1.20 cedis. Anywhichway, buying a bag for 1.50 and selling the contents will result in revenue of 3.00 and profit of 1.50. Almost enough for two super yogos and an unlimited daily data plan from Tigo.

To test this out, TT Mensah convinced us to buy a bag of water. I'm in a room of four[it's not as bad as it seems] and we finished an entire bag in less than 24 hours. It's insanely hot here in the afternoons. We're on the equator.

There are at least 8 rooms on my side of the first floor. You can do the math.

There's also no running cost and there's not staff. The water isn't cold but the plastic material used for sachet water here is quite different. It's always cool.

I'm also not opening shop when I have classes.

I'm excited to see how this goes. As long as Nana and TT stop buying pure water on credit.

What I've read recently.

These 8 Mac Characters Will Crash Most Mac Programs - Mashable

Here Are The Top 10 Super Bowl Ads According to 30K Tivos - TechCrunch

Eric Schmidt - A week of Africa

Apple Falls Far From Tree: Seven And A Half Things To Know - Huffington Post

MySpace Squandered The Only Thing It Had Left - TechCrunch

ReadWrite - Why Do Americans Hate Android And Love Apple?

The Rise Of Entrepreneurship on College Campuses[INFOGRAPHIC] - YoungEntrepreneur

Someone took off the "Pure Water Available For Sale" paper off the door. The competition is tensioned or people can't just respect property of others.

The Ultimate Guide To Beating Lagos Traffic In 2013 And Beyond Forever

2013-01-08T19:30:00.000+01:00

Here's how to get ahead of all the lazy fatasses in the city of Lagos.

1. Get out of your house before 7.30AM
2. Leave work before 4PM.

What else did you expect?

Internet Newspaper. Eh.

2013-01-08T15:20:00.001+01:00

Because Twitter is a black hole. I was trolling my feeds as I usually do everyday and I saw this headline. So I clicked it out of curiosity.

Internet and Newspaper. Even ThisDay won't make this blunder in any campaign.I'm trying not to be called stupid and crass again so I've gotten a dictionary. On the internet of course.

The Internet (or internet) is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite (TCP/IP) to serve billions of users worldwide

Paper is a thin material mainly used for writing upon, printing upon, drawing or for packaging. It is produced by pressing together moist fibers, typically cellulose pulp derived from wood, rags or grasses, and drying them into flexible sheets.

I've also gone further to see how Nigerian newspapers define themselves online. You'll mostly see them calling their website an online version of the print.

Except of course, the Nigerian Youth don't[doesn't?] know the difference between a computer and a newspaper. Shalla to everybody.

Everything Tech In West Africa is Moving Forward. Except Education.

2012-12-15T10:56:00.000+01:00

I typed this in my drafts a few weeks ago and decided not to publish it. Until I had to drive to Ogun State to fill a 2-page form where the details I was asked to provide had already been sent via email. Kmt

This is a small[might end up long] set of conclusions based on my experience with West African universities over the last 6 months.

2012 has been awesome for tech in West Africa. I mean really awesome stuff is happening out here. There are more submarine cables bringing more bandwith to consumers on this side of the world. Okay that isn't awesome. I still pay a shitload for mobile internet.

To the awesome stuff. People are finally building stuff. We get tons of emails in our Technesstivity inbox everyweek. There's been a sudden awakening in the last few years. People have finally realised instead of consuming content and playing western apps, they can create their own stuff.

It's not even hard to learn how to create stuff anymore. There's Codecademy, Udacity and tons upon tons of ebooks online that teach EVERYTHING from Javascript to C++. If you ever get stuck, a lot of these services have forums to sort you out. Hell, you can post a question on StackOverflow like I did last week.

But Tech Education isn't moving anywhere.

Mechanical Engineering students still haven't seen the car engines they keep drawing. There are still Computer Science students who have never seen emulators or text editors because they write code on paper. I wonder how many great ideas have never left paper.

To be honest, I don't know much about Mechanical Engineering so I'm going to focus on the applications I've sent out in the past 6 months. They've been computer science applications.

In June, I applied to one of the West African universities for an undergraduate course in Computer Science. Thankfully, they have an online application system *crowd goes wild* crowd prostrates*. After filling my application and submitting it, I still had to send details of my WAEC results via regular courier. A lot of people forge WAEC results in online applications so universities are not to blame for this part.

I am not even kidding about this. Between June and September of this year, I heard absolutely nothing from this university. By September, we eventually got frustrated and decided to call this school up and we were told they didn't know when the admission lists will be released. I mean, it's September already. I'm supposed to resume in September or at least make plans to but my life was in some folder on someone's shelf. And they left my life there.

Eventually, the admissions list came out and I didn't make it into this university. SURPRISE SURPRISE!

Everyone in my family was surprised. In the last two years, I've had more interaction with technology and code like I've never had. Between September last year and June this year, I even had further interactions with the community. Now if I could get into universities abroad with the same grades and I now even have more experience for a Computer Science degree than I had last September. But I didn't get in. They don't like a D7 in Chemistry.

Chemistry.

Everywhere else[at least where I've applied to] in the world, this is the venn diagram between Chemistry and Computer Science.

In West Africa, this is the venn diagram between Chemistry and Computer Science.

This confuses me a whole damn lot. In this short 2 years of interactions, I haven't come across ONE line of code that was a chemical formula. Not one. Apparently it only happens in West Africa. AWesome stuff.

So I applied to another university. I'm already tired of it here so I felt the strong need to get out and get out fast. Mostly because I don't think my first task in the morning should be turning on a Generator. We still love you Federal Republic of Nigeria.

I had filled the form and gone all the way west to submit this application form.

Here's a quick irony for you. They want to teach me Computer Science and Information and Communiation Technology but they don't have an online application system. Tada!

Anyways, Chemistry came up here again and I silently excused myself from the admissions office. Because it just doesn't make any sense for Chemistry to be a pre-requisite for Computer Science. It doesn't doesn't doesn't X 100.

On my way back from the far west, a border official asked why I had to go all the way west to submit an application. I explained that the university doesn't have an online application system. He goes "Ah." and lets me pass anyway.

When I got to that west university, it turned out I hadn't filled a form[you see why an online application system makes so much sense?]. So I had to take this back to Nigeria, then I got it signed and filled by my high school principal. After that, I scanned emailed it to the university. Which brings us to the next wahala.

They don't check their email unless prompted.

Is what my friend who's a student there said.

It's important to note that this country has better broadband than Nigeria. So it's not the yellow people's fault. It's the reluctance of the admission staff to check emails. So I had to get my friend in that uni to prompt them at two different times to check their email box.

But they don't even know when the admission list is out. It's December 3rd as I type this and my life is in another person's shelf. Lying there. Because it means nothing to them.

My dad is getting worried. So I have to apply to a third university.

This one is Nigerian and privately owned. They're the 'best' university in Nigeria. Every university in Nigeria is the best. A day after their application opened, the website was down. I mean the entire website. This wasn't an online application segment or a scheduled maintenance.

No, no, no. They didn't pay for enough hosting so they're host shut them down. TechJesus save us.

The website was eventually restored yesterday and I found out that I have to download a Microsoft word document, fill it with my details and still keep the format of the page intact. I'm honestly afraid of altering the page arrangement. You know how these university staff are.

After I've filled the form, I then have to proceed to a bank, then pay an application fee, obtain a teller of the application fee and scan that teller. The scanned teller then has to be attached in an email along with the application form and a copy of my passport photo. Doesn't seem like a problem in a very normal, 20 years ago world.

But this is 2012. We should be moving forward and shortening the amount of steps it takes to do stuff, not make them longer.

Especially for institutions like Universities who I believe should encourage new ways of doing stuff. West Africans live close to the equator anyways. Studies show that people who live close to the equator have a more myopic view than people who live farther for the equator. So they're not thinking about the future. The present. Where every kid applying to their school probably has an internet-enabled phone. They're not thinking about how to make applications easy for these kids.

It still took a month for freshmen in UNILAG to finish registration. In 2012.

I'll like us to go back to 2008.

In 2008, I begun my search for universities around the world. There was something we noticed because I do have a problem with Chemistry as a subject. My mind isn't wired of it. There's no amount of studying that can help. I'm not interested in Organic Chemistry and studying never helped.

We noticed U.K universities were asking for certain grades in Chemistry. My external exams were due in 2009. So my father got a private Chemistry teacher. Like they've ever helped. Anyways fast forward into my first year of A levels in September 2009 and U.K universities had removed Chemistry as a pre-requisite for Computer Science and Software Engineering. Oh, the Joy. We also noticed school in America and Canada were taking Chemistry of their required subjects list. So wonderful.

So I've got a few questions.

Why does it take Africa so long to get simple things done? You can say there's bureaucracy in the University system but isn't there bureaucracy in other universities around the world?

I keep reading stuff about Sillicon Lagoon and what not and I read stuff about Sillicon Valley and how Facebook and Google battle for the top talent in Stanford and unviersities in and around California.

Does anyone want to go to the Unilag or Yabatech CS(no offence abeg] class and hire? Are they competing with anyone else? Are the lecturers ensuring that the students are on a constant path to self improvement and practice?

Why is Africa still on this grade thing? In all the universities abroad I applied to, they had fields upon fields for students to fill in their experience and explain why they loved to study Computer Science or Software Engineering. They even put up samples in case you didn't know what to write.

There's one more thing I noticed. When I wanted to go to University in Canada, universities had their entire CS notes online. You could download it and share it as you like. A lot of these notes were online tutorials that had been amended themselves. So you can even see a collaboration between universities. A lot of them now teach Java using MIT's Processing.

Awesome awesome stuff.

While we beg people to reply simple application inquiry emails.

Don't even tell people there are many alternatives to a university degree. You will be shocked at the kinds of stupid things that'll emanate.

However, I still refuse to believe that I have the same path to happiness as the 35 people I graduated high school with. It is impossible.

Image: Someecards

Journal 14. Private Jets

2012-11-28T15:25:00.001+01:00

Sunday 18th November 2012
2.19PM. It just rained and now the sun is shining.

Okay I don't know why I felt like telling you that.

Here are a bunch of random thoughts on private jets, churches and funds.

There is nothing wrong with owning a private jet. There is nothing wrong with a pastor selling shitload of content every year and then using that money to buy himself luxury goods.

The problem is the context. We're in a society where 70 percent of all the population live on less than a dollar a day. We're in a society where certain things are used as a measure of success.

Children, a wife and money. Most especially money. Pastors shouldn't have to conform to that. It should be the job of pastors to change that mindset. To tell people that you don't need to have plenty money and fly private jets to feel successful in life or be happy.

There's a lot that can be done with private jet money. Bill Gates can afford a private jet. Bill Gates rents private jets from Warren Buffet's private jet company. Warren Buffet also rents jets from his own company.

One year Bill Gates was worth over 100 billion dollars. He gave over 50 billion to polio and cancer research. Polio is about to be wiped out thanks to Bill Gates and a lot of other people who have pledged funds from their businesses.

Bill Gates doesn't owe a child in Kano anything.

Pastors are supposed to be people we look up to and say "Hey! I think I like that man's lifestyle. I hope God gets me there."

In a society where the corruption level is high because the 'leaders' in government loot money and live lives of luxury and everyone obviously wants to be like those Government leaders. Who no wan enjoy good ting?

A large number of Private Universities in Nigeria are owned by churches. Those universities are the most expensive of universities in the entire country. Another large number of the well-built, well-structured secondary schools are also owned by these big churches.

Why are churches building institutions that only the elite can afford? Why can't all the offerings and tithes across these churches be used to subsidise these schools and make them more affordable. A lot of people can't afford to send their kids to government owned universities. Now you've built better universities and you're still limiting the type of people in those institutions. Did Jesus die for the rich only?

A few years ago the Redeemed Church had this "A can can make a difference programme". I'm not sure if it's still being run but it was brilliant. Every sunday, the church will cook food and then distribute food to slums across towns in Nigeria. Places where people are earning too little and they don't know where their next meal should come from.

That's what pastors should focus on. Not buying oil wells or driving phantoms.

Again, there's nothing wrong with driving Phantoms or flying jets. It's the context.

Bill Gates is a Man of God.

Image: Someecards

Journal 12. Freewill and Halloween

2012-10-31T19:55:00.000+01:00

31st October 2012
1.33PM

I'm so tired of the ignorant spewage on Twitter. It's like a daily thing now. So here's what I've learnt from Twitter today.

Nigerians shouldn't celebrate Halloween because it is not in our culture. When I asked if Christmas and Sallah were in our culture, I was told Christmas and Sallah are religions and David Livingstone didn't bring halloween to Africa. Yes guys, Christmas is a religion.

Now if you looove the culture so damn much and you don't think people should embrace western cultures, please do not wear a suit for your internship interview. Wear a Dansiki made out of Aso Oke and enter a danfo in the heat and tell your interviewers that suits aren't in our culture and therefore they shouldn't be worn.

Freewill

The idea of freewill is that anybody can do whatever they so please as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's fundamental rights. Why can you let people celebrate what they want? Is it your fake blood on their faces? Are they asking you to pay for their parties and costumes?

What is always worrying you people? Why can't you think straight and then argue with facts?

Personally, I don't support halloween. I don't think there's anything fun to be dressing like Esu and be collecting sweets. But that's me. That's how I've been brought up. It doesn't mean I should go ahead and attack people who celebrate Halloween for the fun of it.

The world is becoming more and more polarised everyday and it'll be nice if we just let people who have different views from us be free. Again, as long as those views don't infringe on our fundamental human rights.

What I Read Today

Now Amazon Can Easily Win The $100 Billion Local Commerce Market And The $150 Billion Smartphone Market - Forbes

What does talent look like in an age of Flux? - FastCompany/Branch

Microsoft Surface: First Impressions and Shattered Misconceptions - Forbes

The Way I Work: Aaron Levie, Box - Inc I was so surprised to read that he's 27 years old.

What VCs Really Care About - Inc

Start-ups On Technology – To A Man With A Hammer, Everything Is A Nail - Celestine Okoye, Otekbits I think it's cool that Celestine is sharing is experience. It's even cooler that you can easily that he's writing based on stuff he read 2/3 years ago. He's not just saying "PHP is the Best. FTW!"

The Nigerian Budget (A Review by yourbudgit.com) | GAPS Academy I couldn't finish the whole budget on Budgit's website the other day. I was getting angry.

Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 11. Too Much Money

2012-10-30T05:40:00.000+01:00

29th October 2012
15:18 PM.

Due to my out-of-school stage in life, I've picked up a couple of paid jobs this year. Paid. Jobs. Come with money. As a result, I've got more disposable income than 2011 and previous years.

Now, living with my parents mean someone takes care of a lot of stuff. I'm not buying fuel, paying rents, etc, etc.

Before you people start thinking I've hammered. I just think I spend more when I'm staring at more money than when I'm not with money at all. I spend a large amount of time in the heat of Lagos Traffic and that comes with the regular temptation to keep buying Super Yogo or bottles of coke.

My parents brought me up with some weird entrepreneurship view on Money. I can't explain it but if you start reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad at the age of 8, the chances that you'll be able to figure out how to make money in whatever situation is high.

I also grew up being a fan of Bill Gates and I've worked in the tech industry in the last year. So there's billion dollar valuation news on tech blogs every damn day. I've always thought I want a lot of money.

Nowadays, I just want enough to buy Super Yogo and Gala

Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 8. Lagos Traffic Law

2012-10-21T23:27:00.000+01:00

Sunday 21st October
17:03

This journal was going to be about something else that I can't remember. Well my friend walked 40 minutes because some people who don't use Okadas think it's in the best interest of people who use Okadas to ban them.

But Fashola Is Working

I find this sentence very funny because in the 8 years of Fashola's 'work', flowers have been more important than street lights. And the Lagos state emergency agency told us last week that they're ready to combat any flood. You want to combat flood when a quarter of your biggest road(Ikorodu Road) is flooded?

So let's go back to this Okada Ban.

Okadas have been banned in 450 roads in Lagos State. I can't currently find how many roads are in Lagos State but that's a large number to ban an important mode of transport on.

Let's dream up a scenario

It's 10PM. Now the reason you're on that road at 10PM is because lagos traffic insane. LASTMA and the police have done a brilliant job of controlling traffic in the last few months. At least up to 6PM.

So it's 10PM and you're stuck on one out of the 450 okada-banned roads. And there are 2 ways out. Get a bus or walk. But there are no buses. And it's probably dark because flowers are more important than you, stupid.

Now you're walking. Let's assume there are 2 okadas that ply each of the banned routes. Multiply that by 450 and you have 900 more unemployed people in addition to the many unemployed in the state of Lagos.

What's to stop one of those 900 men from picking up a knife and attacking you right there? Nobody will see anything. Remember, the flowers are more important than visibility at night.

Morals?

Morals? The S.A.N governor that has signed a bill that's eating the jobs of lagosians. Doesn't he have morals? The governor that has signed laws that have stricter punishments than corrupt officials. Does he not have morals?

Does a governor that brought down an entire Tejuosho market and then issues the sale of market stalls at 7 million per 10 metre square seem like he has morals?

Does a governor that thinks you have nothing else to do with your money than to 'beautify' your house or pay a 250K fine even care about the people who voted him?

Morals? Morals? If this is about doing what's right? Why do we still have touts and all sorts of people extorting danfo drivers on Lagos roads?

Is it about money or morals? If it was about morals and doing what is right, there'll be barricades at Ojota to prevent people from crossing instead of all those KAI men.

Hasn't every new lagos law in the last 8 years been about revenue for the government?

What I've been reading

GrowHack - How Y Combinator Thinks About Growth

How did Mint acquire 1.5M+ users? - Quora

Collaborative Introspection - A Lesson From The Kenyan Tech Intelligentsia - Otekbits

Some Advice from Jeff Bezos - 37Signals

Why Entrepreneurship needs Immigrants - INC

Unlock the 007 in You. You have 70 seconds[VIDEO] - Coke/YouTube

Is Twitter Starving Pheed? New Social Network Says It Got Cut Off - TechCrunch

The Future of Music Charts - HypeBot

Image Source: Someecards

Journal Entry 7 - Personal Space

2012-10-18T20:00:00.002+01:00

Thursday 18th October

09:40

We need space to think. Thinking is very important. No space means almost no thoughts of your own. People won't give you personal space and you must find a way to cut them off. Headphones work best.

I seem not to be able to catch this break of personal space and I'm not kidding. There's not even time to sneeze. I tried to sneeze once and in the split of that second, my name was sung. My name is the entire song.

People need to be left alone sometimes.

What I've read in the last 2 days

Why Color Both Failed And Could Still Come Out Millions Of Dollars Ahead: Patents And Trademarks- TechCrunch Ridiculous Patents Color has

Using A BlackBerry Is Cool - Mobility No comments on this one LOL

Join The Petition For An Aluu4 Mob Justice Prohibition Bill #aluu4 #MobJusticeBill - Ofili Speaks

How BrandYourself unexpectedly got 60K users in 60 hours - Growhack

Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 6 - Nigeria's Disappearing History

2012-10-17T22:10:00.003+01:00

Tuesday 16th October
9:05AM

On the way home yesterday, I had a very long discussion with my dad about Chinua Achebe's new book - There Was A Country and the response it has gotten from Nigeria's 'leaders'.

My dad agrees as with a lot of other people that all the sides of the civil war made mistakes. My issue with Nigerian history over the years is how everyone tells the side of a story to support his tribe.

Baba studied history in the University so he gave us the lowdown of everything.

There's however an upside to not knowing Nigerian history. If I, as a Yoruba man do(does?) Not know who planned the first coup or the second coup or the third? I can't come and say "oh he's an Igbo man, don't give him the contract" because in all honesty I'll have nothing against Igbo or Hausa people.

The people that know

A lady in my church from the South-South got engaged to a man from the east. It turned out, her father didn't approve the engagement. So my dad(being all nice and dandy) spoke to her father and it turns out, he still holds scars from the civil war. He claims the Igbo people took over his town and almost made them slaves. He's been hurt since then.

Do I really care about what tribe planned a coup against the other tribe? Not really.

Stuff I Read

It's Not A Bubble - Seyi Taylor

Catharsis, Perhaps - Seyi Taylor

Dennis Crowley's Reaction To Facebook's Places - Pandodaily[VIDEO]

Stripe's 22-Year-Old Irish-Born Founder Is Just Getting Started - Inc

Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 5

2012-10-16T08:24:00.001+01:00

Sometime on Saturday

I usually don't do a lot of thinking on Saturdays. I just like to read and watch stuff and get work done. It's the only day in the week I get real broadband so I just play around really.

Stuff I read today

What are the greatest recruiting lines ever? - Quora

What must young entrepreneurs know before they build a company? - Quora

What are some potential low-cost businesses that can be started and operated by a teenager? - Quora

The Education of Mark Zuckerberg - The New York Times

Why I would kick ass at Kiip Basically, this guy wants to work at Kiip. So he put out Google Ads for the search from 'Kiip".

Nitro Wars - A Stop Motion Animated Film - Vimeo Awesome stuff

Love - What Is Love? - Quora

What advice would seasoned women in tech give to younger girls deciding to make a tech career for themselves? - Quora

Image: Someecards

Are You In The Friend Zone?[INFOGRAPHIC]

2012-10-13T19:32:00.000+01:00

So my post on Friendzones and other zones is one of the most read posts on this blog because you people are crazy. I was on my own trolling the web when I saw this. LOL

Here's a quick infographic to know if you're in the Friend Zone or not.

Source: eflirtexpert. Not like I read dating advice blogs lol. Na troll I dey trooll on Google. Apparently it's from College Humor.

Image from Someecards as always.

Journal Entry 4 - "Africa's Insert American Name here"

2012-10-13T12:13:00.000+01:00

Friday 12th October
21:20

So I was at #TedXVictoriaIsland today and one of the first speakers was Segun Akin-Olugbade. Mr. Akin-Olugbade is building a high-performance sports car in his garage. Why? Because he can. He said he wants to encourage Nigerians to build things in Nigeria.

Now it wasn't up to 2 minutes that he had spoken and he was already being called Africa's Elon Musk. This is where I have a problem with people.

1. Elon Musk is building energy efficient cars at Tesla
2. Elon Musk wants to make space travel possible for tourists
3. This guy in no way loooks like Elon Musk

I've noticed over the last few years,(especially in the Nigerian tech industry) that there is this need people have to quickly label a Nigerian(sometimes African) company an "Africa's *Insert Successful American company here*".

Now, while I agree that a lot of these companies seem like clones of business ideas of American and European companies, we actually never ask the founders what they were thinking,

What if the IrokoTV idea just popped in Jason's head? Maybe he wasn't even thinking about Netflix.

I was reading an interview with Mxit CEO Alan Knott-Craig and he said when he started up, he used to wear hoodies a lot. Then they started calling him "Africa's Mark Zuckerberg". So he stopped wearing hoodies.

Funny thing is, I used to wear hoodies around 06. A few months before Facebook opened up to the world. Before I even knew about it. I used to work at this advertising agency in Yaba and the air condition killed me daily. So I wore hoodies to work.

Sorry A person running a website with 100,000 users in 3 years is not and cannot be Africa's Mark Zuckerberg. Let's not be washing people. No more digital high-fives we've said.

1. Saya Mobile isn't whatsapp for feature phones. Saya Mobile is Saya Mobile for feature phones. And they have 2go to battle with

2. IrokoTV isn't Africa's Netflix. Jason has said countless times that IrokoTV makes almost no money from the continent of Africa. IrokoTV doesn't stream TV shows. Netflix does. Yeah, I made this mistake too.

3. There will be no iTunes of Africa. Forget it. People don't want to pay for stuff they can find on Hulkshare.

23:22.

Why don't we let these people be companies for Lagos first? Then Nigeria, then we can now talk about Africa.

Ever heard of an American Wole Soyinka?

Think.

Here's a video from the Animation company at TedX. They're called sporedust media and I had typed this all up before I saw this. Ugh

Stuff I read today

The Nobel Peace Prize

Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 3. I Suck

2012-10-11T19:34:00.002+01:00

October 11
7.12PM

I really don't know how I'll be serious with this journal thing.

Sent a few stuff to my friend a few minutes ago. She just found out she won't be going to school for the next year and she's worried. At the bottom are links to online stuff I've read today. I figured I should put all the stuff I read daily in one public place.

If you want to leave a comment and you're on mobile, please switch to the web version. There's a "view web version" link at the bottom. Thanks

Anyways, I've figured school this year is probably not working out for you. And you're probably sad that everyone seems to be moving ahead with school and you're left behind and what not.

You know what?

It doesn't even matter. The last two years of my life have been the most exciting ever because I get to work with loads of awesome people in the industry I'll love to work in.

Most of all, I get to think. Thinking is the most important. Schools don't let you think. There's too much work to have time to think.

I've been able to figure out what I like and the weird things I didn't even know I didn't like lol. And it's awesome!

You'll be just fine. Just don't stay indoors too much. You'll be too depressed. Tried it for 6 months lol. Yes, it's awful when everyone's away.

Stuff I read today

Opinion: Move over Twitter? Why Instagram will be the next big social media platform - YNaija![Easily the most ignorant piece I've read all week]

No Filter: How Hipstamatic Pivoted Into A Flat Spin - Fast Company[It's a 3-part piece on how Hipstamatic has had to battle Instagram. I'm still reading]

For Colored Women - The Naked Convos[Probably, the best Nigerian blog series this year. Naked Convos is doing amazing stuff. Where does toolsman find these people?]

Jack Dorsey, Eric Schmidt Back Peek, Another Beautiful Curated Travel Startup - Fast Company
Image: Someecards

Journal Entry 2

2012-10-09T20:15:00.001+01:00

Journal Entry 2

Monday October 5th

5.30AM

Lawl. I forgot to write(type) in my journal yesterday. We were practically out the whole day. Thing didn't even cross my mind. Setting a reminder for it will kill spontaneity. So I won't do that.

Yesterday, someone uploaded a video online. A video of 4 young men, all of them alleged laptop and phone thieves getting beat up. And then burnt. Alive.

Now that was stupid. Not just the video or the beating or the burning. The entire barbaric idea that we have not to hand over a person to the police or a regular court. Let the court decide whether a person is guilty or not. Someone can frame your kid tomorrow yo.

Yes, we know that people get away with crimes in Nigeria because they have deep pockets. If you can't trust the government, can you at least wait for your village chiefs to come? That's the first stupid part.

The second stupid part is the video. You're illegally murdering 4 young men and the wisest thing to come to your mind is to record the video and propagate it.

Anyways, thanks to that video, the police can now know who did what and pick-up all the perpertrators. If you're reading this from Aluu, you should know that standing by and watching a crime happen while you hail them is also a crime. You aint got nothing to do witchur life. Obviously.

Let's not be stupid about this please. This isn't GEJ's fault. Stupid things happen when we give stupid people the chance to be stupid.

Image Source: Someecards

LOL So I've Decided To Keep A Journal

2012-10-06T16:11:00.000+01:00

I read an awful load of stuff daily. So I was reading something on Feedly or Evernote(I really can't remember now) and someone said some stuff about how important keeping a journal is. I decided there and then that I'll keep a journal.

I've tried this quite a number of times to be honest. In SS1 my teacher made us keep journals so we could improve on our writing skills. I don't even know if that worked because she got tired of reading our thoughts after the first month.

So here's the first entry in my journal about writing journals.

I'll post some of them here or excerpts from certain days or weeks or whatever it is I decide.

Here we go!

Yes, I'll keep putting up someecards in all my posts and they'll be more random than ever :D

How Many Girlfriends Can A Nigerian Guy Have?[VIDEO]

2012-09-08T15:35:00.003+01:00

LOL So I've just been told there's a male version of the "How Many Boyfriends Can A Nigerian Girl Have?" by @CliveUA. I'm dying right now.

"If you have just one girlfriend, you are impotent". I had no idea. LMFAOO!

This other guy said you should cross-breed girls :'(

Where did Battabox get these people from?

How Many Boyfriends Can A Nigerian Girl Have?[VIDEO]

2012-09-08T12:58:00.002+01:00

I just found this a few minutes ago while I was trolling the interwebs. The guys at Battabox went on the streets of somewhere to ask women how many boyfriends they should have?

Absolutely Hilarious comments! OMFG! I love Battabox!

Yaba Legislative Council Bus Skips Traffic, Gets Accosted By LASTMA and FRSC[PHOTOS]

2012-08-15T15:47:00.000+01:00

About 4 hours ago, we were trying to cross over from Jibowu to Moshalashi. The traffic light wasn't working so there were a few LASTMA and FRSC officials controlling traffic.

We got to the point where the traffic light is and suddenly, this bus marked "Yaba Legislative Council" comes from nowhere, takes the wrong lane and skips traffic. My father was pissed. We had been there for almost 10 minutes. We thought LASTMA would let him go so we were about to get down when this bunch of FRSC and LASTMA officials comes from the side and they try to open the door. The driver and front seat passenger tried to stop them. Then a man from a car gets down, and walks up to the bus to ensure the bus driver is arrested.

On impulse, I started taking pictures. If Yaba Legislative Council buses can't obey simple traffic laws, who will?

Here are photos of the bus marked FN 899 LND beating traffic. In the first picture, you can see an Okada man raising an arm against him.

Shall We Take Compliments And Make Them Water In A Basket?

2012-08-07T15:15:00.000+01:00

About two months ago, I had to do a photoshoot for some babe's clothing line and it was a good experience.*

After I read "Steve Jobs" by Walter Isaacson[Amazon affiliate link], I started to pay detailed attention to work. So it took about 3 weeks to get the images out. Images went out, client loved them and I was feeling all happy and gingered with myself.

Two days later, client's friend[who also doubled as a model for the shoot], decided to share the pictures and published a small blog post where I was called a "talented photographer". I won't lie, I chopped the washing meen.

So I'm speaking to client a bit after that post and she goes "kgjagslks didn't like the pictures". I just started laughing. Biko I didn't ask for ya comment. I didn't even send them to you.

Anyways, my question is, do we begin to sort compliments when we get them, or do we just turn them into water and pour them in a basket? The washing these days is on a level of persil biological.

*I didn't just pick up a camera like all those people did last year. You guys are spoiling biznays. Tueh.

Image: Someecards

So We're Watching Dark Knight Rises At Ozone And The Movie Goes Silent and Fast Forwards

2012-08-05T23:09:00.000+01:00

After reading tweet upon tweet and spoiler upon spoiler about the latest Batman movie: The Dark Knight Rises, my friend and I decided to hit Ozone Cinemas, Yaba to watch the movie. We knew Genesis Deluxe had better speakers and was therefore a better option but the traffic. As mainlanders.

The most awesome movie this year had begun. Ghen Ghen. Then Bruce Wayne kissed a babe. Next thing, they were lying down by the fire side. Pause. American movies don't skip sex scenes. Next thing, the movie goes silent. Miranda is telling a story about how she was poor. We could pick out some volume but it was obvious someone had obviously turned the volume down.

It happened one more time. We ignored it. Then Bane[Bayne?] comes out of one of the entrances into the stadium to give his propaganda and the movie goes silent for the third time!. I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled! Then I walked out and met the staff at the gate and told them the movie had been muted and fast forwarded three times. I didn't pay N1,500 to watch half of Dark Knight Rises. No no no.

They never muted it after that. So I began to ask a few questions. Why would a movie theatre mute some parts of a fictional movie? I mean we know we're living in an imaginary democracy but it's not that bad. Or does the management of Ozone cinemas not like certain parts of The Dark Knight Rises? We didn't force you to sell tickets to it sha.

Yeah, bottom line is, you don't want to watch The Dark Knight Rises at Ozone Cinemas. It'll be a while before I watch another movie there.

...and for our super geeky movie bros, The Dark Knight Rises[Original Soundtrack] - Hans Zimmer. Amazon affiliate link.

What is TNSMW? - Sketch

2012-08-05T22:51:00.000+01:00

First Of All, I'll Like to start by saying, TNSMW is a project. A project that will continue to go on. A medium by which I will be releasing new music. TNSMW means THE NEW SKETCH MUSIC WEEK. This TNSMW is going down this august, 6th to 10th to be precise, & it's the week where I am gonna be dropping my forth comin' song.
Interesting isn't it?, using a whole week to drop one song? .. How am I gonna do that anyway? ... Why are you doin' this? .. I'm sure you Probably wanna ask these questions.

Well the reason I'm doin' this is, wait, first lemme ask you a question, If you were to see a link to a song you don't know who sang, or rather, a song by an artiste you don't know about, I don't think you'll Wanna download it, I don't think you'll even download it. Hold that thought, Now that's the aim of the project.

This Month's TNSMW will be occuring from the 6th - the 10th of august As earlier stated & the line ups for it are:
Monday (6th) - wax Lyrical Night At koko Lounge [5pm - 9pm (ends 9pm on the dot)]
Wednesday (8th) - Radio Interview (name of Radio station withheld) at 8pm.
Thursday (9th) - Release of Video Teaser.
Friday (10th) - Song Drops.

Thanks for the time. God bless. Stay tuned and follow me on @ItzSketch

Etisalat, Cinemas, Permission Marketing and Spam

2012-05-31T14:01:00.002+01:00

So I use an Etisalt SIM. I don't have problem with their SMS and call pricing. I don't SMS and call people. What I do however is to subscribe to Data Plans.

I'll be sitting at the office on a normal day, trying to post a tweet or send an email or edit a blog post on the super sucky wordpress mobile and then Etisalat will send me a message for the 15th time that day.

"Dear Customer, You have 1 free registration for your You&Me number. Dial bla bla bla to register". I get over 20 of these messages everyday. I'm tired. These messages are interrupting my browsing experience.

Every activity on my mobile phone gets me an etisalat SMS. If I had a dollar for every message I get, I'll have made over $20,000 and I'm probably underestimating. I make a call, an SMS comes in. I send an SMS, another one comes in. I subscribe to a data plan, I get 3 SMSes.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT. I'm paying you for a service not to know about more Services.

The worst part is that Etisalat in their infinite wisdom can figure out when someone tried to call me and send me an SMS like 20 minutes after.Did I buy a SIM to get call alerts or to receive calls?

SMS adverts are spam. That's what they are. When I signed up for Etisalat I wasn't given an option on whether or not I want SMSes after every action. I want that option. I believe it's my right.

Every service on the internet that I've signed up to always gives me an option on what email alerts I want to receive. Etisalat needs to get this done. Same for every other telco.

Permission Marketing

Head to sethgodin.typepad.com download his free books. This is not the industrial age anymore. People don't like ads. They'll do anything to get away from ads[like subscription services]. I don't see why I should be getting Ads on my phone if I'm paying you for a service.

Genesis Deluxe Needs to Chill

I'm paying 1500 for a movie. I honestly do not give a crap what Fidelity Bank has to offer. I'm PAYING you to see a movie. I don't mind watching trailers but what I mind is wasing a minute of my time telling me I'm at Genesis Deluxe Cinemas[So I just woke up and landed in the Cinema abi?] and then showing me ads from banks. Of all people. And stop that Orange Broadband ad. It's becoming disgusting.

There is a fine line between business, profit and greed. Playing Bank ads during a paid movie is greed. That's why Netflix keeps killing Cable. Or whoever. Point is Cable is dying. I mean, I'm paying 10Grand a month for DSTV and they'll still show me ads that apply to only SOUTH AFRICA. Despite the fact that they make more money from Nigeria. It's stupid. Stop that nonsense.

I don't watch TV anymore. I can't stand it

Ads every 5 minutes after I'm paying you for DSTV? Are you insane? I can get everything online for free anyway. Goodluck trying to curb privacy.

YouTube is showing video ads now

Like for real? Is something worrying you people's head? You already have a 250x250px block on the right and random links during the videos and you think I won't hit the skip ad button before my video? Pop-up ads are actually greater than this.

Up and coming, coming up quick artistes

You guys are the absolute worst. You're spam that I know personally. These upcoming music people believe they have to talk about everything for at least 3 months before they release a snippet. Absolute B.S. B.S of Life.

They'll hype a song for like 3 whole months and then, You'll spend your slow Nigerian internet to download it and it'll now be rubbish. I've made up my mind not to lie to anyone that they're track is great. Enough goat-sounding people trying to sing. It have do. Get a degree or create a business. Sha stop singing. Eeez nor by force.

Btw, If you're in the Music/Music distribution business, You HAVE TO watch Seth Godin's PressPausePlay. It's free online. No excuses.

Please, If I don't have an actual Personal Relationship[PR] with you or an online relationship with you, stop sending me "For Release Now" emails. They're appalling. I never read them.

I almost forgot my folks at RedNigeria. They're the king of spam. I've only met one guy from RedNigeria and he couldnt get me on a list of an event I was meant to cover. You can't reply my email but you want me to be hyping Nigerian Idol[which I dont watch] for you? EL-OH-EL

I applied to help out with internet publicity with The Future Nigeria. Never got a reply, They decided to spam me instead. Thank You very much

Oh and if you feel the need to mention every Twitter user whenever you have a blog post, \____________________

UP NEPA!

Journal Number iDontRemeberWhereIStopped: This Competition Thing They Make Us Do In School

Journal 16: Do We Decide Who We Become Or Do Our Parents Mess Us Up?

Journal 15: Selling Pure Wateh In Foreign Kawntry

Apple Falls Far From Tree: Seven And A Half Things To Know - Huffington Post

The Ultimate Guide To Beating Lagos Traffic In 2013 And Beyond Forever

Internet Newspaper. Eh.

Everything Tech In West Africa is Moving Forward. Except Education.

Journal 14. Private Jets

Journal 12. Freewill and Halloween

Journal Entry 11. Too Much Money

Journal Entry 8. Lagos Traffic Law

Journal Entry 7 - Personal Space

Journal Entry 6 - Nigeria's Disappearing History

Journal Entry 5

Are You In The Friend Zone?[INFOGRAPHIC]

Journal Entry 4 - "Africa's *Insert American Name here*"

Journal Entry 3. I Suck

Journal Entry 2

LOL So I've Decided To Keep A Journal

How Many Girlfriends Can A Nigerian Guy Have?[VIDEO]

How Many Boyfriends Can A Nigerian Girl Have?[VIDEO]

Yaba Legislative Council Bus Skips Traffic, Gets Accosted By LASTMA and FRSC[PHOTOS]

Shall We Take Compliments And Make Them Water In A Basket?

So We're Watching Dark Knight Rises At Ozone And The Movie Goes Silent and Fast Forwards

What is TNSMW? - Sketch

Etisalat, Cinemas, Permission Marketing and Spam

Journal Entry 4 - "Africa's Insert American Name here"