Irony is clearly not dead. On the one hand, we travelers are perpetually being told about all the restrictions that are in place to protect us. We take off our shoes. We pull the laptop out of its case. We toss out the beverage. We have our stuff searched and scanned. And even though a lack of identification never blew up a plane, we’re required to show the TSA our papers.

We’re told that the TSA is there to protect us. Their dapper new uniforms, first modeled last year, but recently rolled out in airports across America, are designed to make them look like real cops, to make us feel safer. (Real cops, on the other hand, aren’t happy with the new outfits.) Again, you’re being sold the feeling of safety.

But now, a gun rights group is taking advantage of a recent decision by Georgia’s state legislature to relax the restrictions on concealed weapons by suing the Atlanta-Hartsfield Airport in an effort to allow licensed citizens to pack heat in the airport. Does that make anyone other than the gun-carrier feel safe?

A Georgia gun rights group filed a lawsuit in Federal District Court in Atlanta on Tuesday after airport officials said they would continue to enforce a ban on concealed weapons in the terminal despite the changes to the state law. The changes, which were approved by the Georgia legislature in the spring and took effect on Tuesday, relax the state’s prohibition on carrying weapons on public transportation and in some other areas, including restaurants serving alcohol.

Benjamin R. DeCosta, the airport director, said the changes applied only to public transportation like buses and the city subway and were not intended to allow people to carry guns at the airport. He said allowing civilians to carry concealed weapons in the terminal, which serves millions of travelers each year, would pose severe problems for the police and airport security workers.

Not to mention that it would undermine the entire TSA security apparatus and all it stands for. And while I am no fan of the TSA, I’m less of a fan of walking around public spaces surrounded by people carrying loaded firearms.

“Only in America,” European readers are muttering right now, as they rebook their flights to avoid changing planes in Atlanta.

Related:
- Packing heat: Ensure your checked luggage arrives safely by packing firearms
- Feeling safe? Armed pilot discharges pistol in cockpit

(image)

ShareThis

British Airways is buying the last surviving standalone all-business class airline to cross the Atlantic. L’Avion, which flies from Newark to Paris-Orly, is being bought by BA and incorporated into their OpenSkies subisidiary.

The move comes as a bit of a surprise to me, since L’Avion and OpenSkies just started codesharing a few weeks ago. I would have expected that relationship to progress for at least few quarters before moving to full-on merger. But here we are.

The deal comes with a £54M pricetag, but about half of that covers the cash L’Avion has on hand.

British Airways plans to merge L’Avion into its new OpenSkies subsidiary, but that can only be a good thing, if recent reviews hold up.

But most importantly, the fact that L’Avion now has a major backer (with a meaningful frequent flyer program connected to a major alliance, I might add), it takes an element of risk off the table for those afraid to take the plunge with a standalone carrier. Especially after the spectacular failures of Maxjet, Eos, and Silverjet, it’s good to know that L’Avion tickets are highly likely to be backed by alternative itineraries, should a flight be cancelled or a route eliminated.

And, as we’ve seen, L’Avion’s service is a decent product in its own right. Flights in business class for $1499? Book away.

Related:
- Survival strategies of the all-business class airlines
- Inside L’Avion, part un: a good seat but a shortage of fluids and information
- Inside L’Avion, part deux: the airline that is betwixt and between
- L’Avion customer service: Meet your pilot and purser!

ShareThis

If there’s one airline that continually and consistently ticks off customers, filling my inbox with nearly-identical tales of piss-poor customer service, it’s Spirit. Whether it’s their “club,” their automatic opt-in for travel insurance, or their CEO’s screw-the-customer attitude, customers love to complain about Spirit.

Here’s another reason for them to complain. Reserving your seats in advance now costs you money, with prices varying according to location. It’s not just the front of the plane, or the exit rows, either:

Spirit Airlines now charges its passengers for online seat selection as part of a new policy that took effect May 30. Customers have to fork over $5 for a middle seat, $10 for an aisle, and $15 for a window.

Windows cost more than aisles??! Okay…

But $5 for a middle seat that’s pre-reserved? This might only make sense if you’re traveling with a partner who already paid the $10 or $15 for their seat. Otherwise, you might as well save your money, take your chances, and get seats assigned at check-in.

But if you’re flying on Spirit in the first place, knowing about how dismal their customer service is, taking risks must be right up your alley.

(image)

ShareThis

Chrysler fires up the in-car internet
Wi-fi on planes is one thing. But in your car? Yep. Chrysler is putting wireless internet access into its 2009 cars. At the same time that many states are requiring handsfree devices for cellphone conversations, Chrysler wants you to surf the web??

No Ted? No service!
Cutting flights and service is widespread, across airilnes. But now that United has killed its Ted subsidiary, they’re pulling out of Ted cities entirely. For example, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach are cut.

Sipping from Galley Springs
With airlines starting to charge $2 for a bottle of water inflight, the Environmental Protection Agency is turning its attention to the tap water in the tanks. 15% of tested aircraft had coliform bacteria in the tanks. Yum! But even if testing of water is more frequent, drink it at your own risk.

Starve yourself into the proper time zone!
There are a thousand jet lag remedies. Make it 1001: Don’t eat for 16 hours to reset your circadian clock. Skip the airline meal, and then some. Anyone want to field-test this one?

But what about the female business-class passenger?
Ryanair wants to fly across the Atlantic, and they plan to introduce a business glass. And yes, it will include, ahem, complimentary male sexual gratification. What?? Cranky has the video of the announcement, with a tortured German translator incapable of repeating what Ryanair chief O’Leary is saying. Come to think of it, I’m not actually repeating it either. But I’ll help out the translator: The German verb for the act in question is “blasen.”

Speaking of expletives…
A few weeks ago, Southwest pretty much summed up their competition by publishing a “coupon” in the Wall Street Journal that read “Dont #$*!% Me Over!” That about sums it up. Now, what would Ryanair’s international business class coupon look like?…

ShareThis

Elizabeth of Go Green Travel Green (not pictured) writes in to remind me of the new “price assurance” policy that Orbitz rolled out last week.

After you book your flight, Price Assurance guarantees that if someone else books the same flight (same date, same time) through Orbitz at a better rate than yours, Orbitz will send you a check for the difference (between $5 and $250 per person).

According to the Wall Street Journal, the move is an attempt to ward off competition from Priceline and Hotwire, both of which eliminated the ticket booking fees so often associated with online travel agencies. (Orbitz charges a $6 booking fee edit:$4.99 to $11.99 booking fee, variable depending on the itinerary, per ticket.)

So instead of offering a guaranteed discount (i.e., no booking fee), Orbitz is offering you the possibility of greater rewards, but for greater risk. It’s a gamble. And, in my estimation, it’s a losing bet, with the odds favor the house on this one.

Unlike Yapta, which tracks fare drops and alerts you when the published price goes down, Orbitz will automatically send you a check IF AND ONLY IF another Orbitz customer purchases the same ticket you booked, and they do it for less money. If the price just goes down, but no one buys that ticket on Orbitz, you’re out of luck. No refund.

So when would you be more likely to win in the refund lottery? It would need to be a frequently purchased itinerary, so I’d be expecting it on major business routes like Washington-Chicago, San Francisco-New York, etc. Trying to get a price drop refund on that Bozeman, Montana to Fayetteville, North Carolina itinerary? Good luck with that.

And besides, do you really expect fares to go DOWN much anytime soon? If Orbitz starts offering the other side of that wager, I’ll be in.

For the most part, I’d stick with either the airline’s own website, Priceline, or Hotwire, to save on the booking fee.

Related:
- The black art of repricing tickets
- Track airfare before and AFTER you buy?
- Putting low-fare guarantees to the test
- Orbitz (aff)

(image)

ShareThis

Every so often, you hear about a chef who loses a Michelin star and then goes nuts — in the worst case, even committing suicide. But you never hear about celebrations when a star is lost. The perpetual goal is to gain or keep stars, not shed them. But now hotels in Berlin are clamoring for a lower rating, in an effort to keep business.

Why? Because a five-star rating is causing some hotels to lose business from corporate clients who are cutting back. At least that’s the theory.

The hotels appear to believe that their business has been hurt by a recommendation that pharmaceutical companies reduce the amount of pampering given to physicians and others attending events hosted by drug companies.
[…]
Willy Weiland, the director of the InterContinental and president of Berlin’s federation of hotels and inns, told the Berliner Morgenpost that the loss in the pharmaceutical business is no laughing matter. He estimates that 60,000 of his hotel’s 140,000 annual overnight stays derive from individuals participating in congresses such as those hosted by drug companies.

This certainly bucks the trend at the upper end of the travel industry of trying to out-luxe-ify the competition.

(Incidentally, if you’re confused as to how a hotel even could attempt to negotiate its star-rating downward, that’s a function of the German rating system. Hotels in Germany are voluntarily rated by a third-party ratings agency on a published scale. It’s an opt-in system, unlike the guidebook-generated ratings (AAA, Mobil, Frommer’s, Fodor’s, Zagat, etc., etc. etc.) in the United States. The German system is voluntary, unlike, say, the mandatory ratings systems in Belgium.)

Will the voluntary downgrade be a trend anywhere else? Do corporate travel offices really cut back on bookings based on the star rating, instead of the room rate?

ShareThis

Unable to find agreement to merge (thankfully), Continental and United have announced plans to partner, with Continental joining the Star Alliance in 2009, subject to regulatory approvals. With alliances being mutually exclusive, that means the SkyTeam alliance, with Delta and Northwest anchoring the North American members, will lose a major player.

In an e-mail to Mileage Plus members, United is pitching this as a benefit to frequent flyers, with an increase in mileage (and status) earning opportunities. Codesharing would commence upon approval, and Continental would align its schedule to coincide with United and Lufthansa, the two anchors of the alliance.

For frequent flyers in the two programs, there are questions that arise: United is pitching the reciprocity angle, where you receive and accrue benefits in either program, but Continental and United have very different programs, especially in terms of how status miles collect (where you buy the fare matters to CO, not to UA) and how upgrades are obtained (”unlimited” on CO, based on status, vs. certificate-based on UA).

And then there’s this: “Internationally, Continental and United will establish joint ventures that will allow us to cooperate with each other and with other Star Alliance airlines throughout the world.” Will these “joint ventures” be a new airline, like British Airways’ OpenSkies?

Stay tuned. Either way, changes afoot.

ShareThis

If interested, send me an e-mail with your contact information, and I’ll pass it along to the journalist.

Related:
- Reader mail: Why would I want to upgrade my rental car?
- Rental car agent blows smoke up my backside, redux

ShareThis

MileMaven.com’s Boaz Shmueli writes in to offer up an interesting offer on United: Free Premier Executive status. Free. No flying 50,000 miles. No “challenges.” Just… free. But there’s no guarantee this will work: The offer may be targeted. Still, the worst you can end up doing is entering your account number on a website. Big whoop. Why not try it? Just do it by June 30.

Premier Executive is the middle tier of elite status on the airline. It offers Star Alliance Gold privileges (free lounge access anytime you fly internationally), a (pointless) “priority” tag attached to any checked luggage you might have, free Economy Plus seating, midrange rank on the upgrade list, and a number of smaller benefits (such as reduced fees) that could add up over time if you fly enough. See here for the full description of the status.

Act quickly.

ShareThis

(Nice linkbait, though! Whether Chris Elliott or his editor is to blame for the title, he had to know he’d be getting a response from this blog. Chris, consider your bait snapped up and devoured.)

But Chris’ blame-the-frequent-flyer attitude makes me want to flick my loyalty program cards at him like Chinese stars in a Bruce Lee movie. Even with his caveat that a few bad apples may be to blame, it’s still not clear to me how the most frequent flyers are at fault for the mess we’re in.

But let’s hear it from him. I’ll agree with his first point, as it’s essentially a fact:

No, what irks me are two important issues. First, it’s the way airlines today are adding amenities to their premium cabins while quietly removing basic services from their economy-class sections. Food is a good example, but such additions and deletions are taking place across the board, and it shows up in every aspect of air travel, from reservations to boarding.

It’s true, the class division in flight is getting wider, much like CEO pay has been rocketing up while most workers’ wages are stagnant. There is an amenity arms race in the air, especially in international premium cabins, and the back of the plane is losing out. That’s a reasonable gripe.

But let’s continue:

The other issue? The attitude of elites. I mean “elite” in several senses of the word: not just elite-level frequent travelers and the well-to-do who can afford to pay full price for the good seats, but perhaps in a broader sense, passengers who think they deserve preferential treatment.

So you’re conflating “elite” with “elitist,” merging “first class” with “frequent flyer,” and redefining “elite” to your own purpose? This is the Humpty Dumpty Fallacy, if you’ll allow me to be an educated elite (or is it elitist?) and whip out the Lewis Carroll:

`When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

`The question is,’ said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

`The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master - - that’s all.’

Well, “elites” in the aviation world are generally those passengers who clock 25,000 miles a year or more with an airline or its alliance partners. Calling others “elites” is muddying the waters.

The remainder of the argument offers anecdotes of Travelers Behaving Badly: Naomi Campbell throwing a fit after her luggage went missing. Self-important jerks who refuse to buckle up and hang up the phone. And That Guy who demands a free drink because his upgrade didn’t clear. These are all real, undisputable examples of people being grade-A assholes. But why would you assume that all “elites” are like this?

Is this handful of bad apples “ruining air travel”? Or are the perpetual delays, overcrowded flights, BS fees, arbitrary imposition of rules when it’s convenient to the staff, (justifiably, but still unpleasantly) ticked-off crew, regional jets, increasing prices, and declining value proposition to blame for the malaise in air travel? I’ll pick the latter.

Most people with a silver, gold, platinum, or black loyalty program card in their possession aren’t the self-important traveling jerks Chris describes — or if they are jerks, they keep it civil in the sky. Most are regular folks who spend more time seated in a plane than they wish they had to. They know the rules: They take off their shoes and pull out their laptops at the security check. They stow their roll-aboards in the proper direction. They ignore the safety announcement because they can recite it in their sleep, but they pay attention to crew member instructions when so directed. And yes, they buckle up.

Elites aren’t ruining air travel. The airlines are. It’s the airlines’ world. The elites are just flying in it. Just like everyone else.

ShareThis

I once worked at a hotel that regularly had NBA players and sportscasters as guests, and the check-in list was an exercise in hilarity. My favorites: Charles Barkley, checking in as the not-necessarily-helpful pseudonym “Tiger Woods,” and Shaquille O’Neal checking in as “Leroy Lovebone.”

Upgraded: Fuel efficiency
Downgraded: Inflight toilet action satisfaction
Airlines are doing what they can to lower the weight of their aircraft, to reduce the fuel burn. That includes reducing the amount of water they carry for their toilets.

Northwest is putting 25 percent less water for bathroom faucets and toilets on its international flights, Mr. McGraw said. Most planes had been returning from long flights with their tanks half full, an unneeded expense given that water weighs 8.3 pounds a gallon and a gallon of jet fuel weighs 6.8 pounds.

“Every 25 pounds we remove, we save $440,000 a year,” Mr. McGraw said.

Better hope that flight isn’t stuck on the ground anywhere.

Downgraded: Australian Aviation
It’s not just North America that’s being downgraded with fees upon fees. Australian airlines are enacting the same nickel-and-diming strategies as their trans-Pacific brethren.

Downgraded: Expedia’s idea of a “hotel”
Expedia has been advertising that they feature hotels in New York City for $58 a night. I raised an eyebrow, but Newyorkology’s Amy Langfield went the next step and found out what was being offered at that rate. Instead, she found a rate as low as $30 a night. $30?? Well, it’s a bunk in a hostel, and not even a nice one. $58? Not in a real hotel that’s actually in New York. Even New Jersey rooms are more. See the whole post for the breakdown.

Upgraded: The hours in a day
Downgraded: Advantage Rent-a-Car
I’ve been boycotting Advantage Rent-a-Car since 2003 already, but this just reaffirms my view that this is one car rental agency you want to avoid: The Consumerist relates a story of a renter whose damaged vehicle was charged for 22 days of loss of use, even though the car was in the shop for 49 hours. Nice math.

Upgraded: Uses for inflight oxygen
Great nugget from an article about the now-indicted former chief of Broadcom. The man, ahem, sure knew how to live. “In one incident described in the indictment, Mr. Nicholas and his guests are said to have inhaled so much marijuana on a flight to Las Vegas from Orange County, Calif., that clouds of smoke and fumes drifted into the cockpit of the private plane and the pilot was required to put on an oxygen mask.” Does that mean the co-pilot was high as a kite? (Thanks, Tyler!)

ShareThis

The recent downgrades to frequent flyer programs and air travel in general have a lot of people ticked off, if my inbox is any indication.

Several people are threatening to jump ship from their current frequent flyer program of choice and get their status matched by a competitor. (For regularly-updated info on status matches, see this FlyerTalk thread.)

Others are throwing in the towel on loyalty entirely. (This is especially prevalent among the low- and middle-tier elites who are writing in.) As reader David suggests:

Maybe this will mean that “elites” won’t feel so elite anymore, and will just buy tickets where it’s most convenient. I know that’s my plan. And maybe people won’t worry about miles as much anymore, and we can ditch this “status” crap and all go back to just being customers. Is the bulls&@t the airlines are feeding us really democracy in disguise?

Well, I don’t think this means the end of elite status, but here’s my prediction:

If anything, top-tier elite status will be even more entrenched as a result of these changes. If only the top tier of flyers will really feel the benefits, then it’s likely that lower-level elites could become “free agents,” basing their purchasing decisions on price, schedule, and service, and not on mileage accrual. But the top-tier folks will maintain their loyalty, and the airlines will, in turn, continue to reward them. Everyone else can apparently go to hell, but since that attitude seems universal, across programs, it will be distributed equally across the market, and the net effect (from the airlines’ perspective) is nil.

But what are you thinking? How has the consistent downgrading of frequent flyer programs and the air travel experience changed your views on loyalty? Are you cutting up your airline credit cards? Are you changing your buying habits? Or are you locked in, and not giving up? Hit the poll below, and hit the comments.

(image credit, and no, I have no idea what the heck that sign is for, but loyalty and fidelity to your produce are honorable and just)

ShareThis