Last night we took Tori to see a local high school's production of "The Disney Princesses." It was very well done, actually, and Tori loved it (mostly) but here is the problem: THE TALKING. Tori talked ALL DAY LONG about the show, insisting on playing Disney Princess games on the computer, reading her Disney Princess book, and listing at top volume the name of the all the princesses over and over again. And, naturally, she talked (loudly) THROUGH the entire show (just as she did when we went to see the movie Up; she does a running commentary on whatever she's seeing).

If I never see another fucking Disney Princess, it will be too fucking soon (and there went my free trip to Disney, sigh) (kidding, no one has offered me a free trip to Disney. I'm just saying now they won't.).

Second problem? THE TANTRUMS. I know some of you have suggested we not tell Tori anything that we're doing until we are on our way to go do it, but we have found that our days go better if we constantly discuss what's going to happen. Meaning before she goes to bed we go over the next day, and when she wakes up we plan out the day so she knows what to expect. But she was SO EXCITED about the damned Princesses that every. single. moment. that we WEREN'T watching the show all day long caused her to collapse into a full-on tantrum and crying and inconsolable wailing and shrieking and gnashing of teeth.

When she finally fell asleep at 10pm, I felt like I'd spent the day being pummeled. Every moment was a challenge yesterday, from getting her dressed to go to camp in the morning to changing each diaper throughout the day to getting her to eat. Each step she took forward was only taken after being threatened with either a time-out or not getting to see the Princesses. It was a horrible day, and it felt like a major parenting FAIL.

I'm sure everything Tori is doing is totally normal. I hear the ungodly shrieks of our neighbor's son, who is six months older than Tori, frequently enough to know that Tori is simply acting her age. Additionally, a lot of what we are doing is working. Charlie and I have decided to focus on Tori's manners a bit (she's become a tiny general issuing constant orders: "Sit down!" "I want a juice box! NOW!"), so we've both told her we can't hear her unless she asks for something nicely – and we're seeing some results already in just a few days. This morning I guided Tori toward a couple outfits she could choose from (both meeting her camp's standards of dress) and then I showed her how to dress herself, which took the fight out of the morning getting ready process (although we did have a bit of a battle about her not being allowed to wear a dress today). Most amazingly, I've been absolutely diligent about setting bedtime boundaries (three stories, then three lullabies, and that's it) and that's cut down the drama at bedtime. When I set boundaries with her, I make her repeat stuff back to me that I've just said so I know she gets it (THANK YOU to my darling neighbor Laurie for suggesting that, it really helps).

As you can see, it's clear to me that a firmer and firmer hand (as far as setting down rules and boundaries goes, anyway) is required with Tori to make life easier for everyone, and it's also obvious that she feels safe having a balance of choices and boundaries. That seems to work.

But I have not yet determined the appropriate response to the tantrums. The tantrums come with a full-on collapse to the floor and/or hard-core stomping of the feet, shrieking, tears, and -- when we try to intervene -- hitting. I've tried grabbing her and hugging her tightly and telling her over and over that I love her while she cries. I've tried ignoring her (she just gets up, comes over to me, and hits me). I've tried yelling more loudly than she's crying. I've tried offering her a choice of other things. I feel like I've tried everything, but they just happen more and more, and yesterday there must have been over two dozen meltdowns -- and that was only in the three hours between her nap and the Princess performance.

Plus, I worry. Is Tori's complete lack of impulse control (oh my GOD the talking) normal for her age? Shouldn't she be able to ground herself a bit more now? She clearly understands everything I'm saying to her, it's not a matter of lack of communication. We work hard to show her exactly how things are going to go before they happen. We make sure that each of us gives her plenty of undivided attention on a daily basis (so we aren't always on our laptops when she's playing in the living room, for example).

We also worry about her amazingly short attention span. She prefers, in general, to do two things at once. If she's coloring, she wants to watch TV too. If she's building blocks, she wants to tell you a story too. If we're reading a book, she wants to dance at the same time. She flits from task to task from object to object. The only thing we can get her to sit still for is computer games; she's just figured out how to use the (what do you call it?) pad thingy on the laptops so she can play simple learning games by herself, primarily. That she might do for twenty minutes at a time or so. But she can't sit still through a meal (even just a twenty minute meal at home), or for anything else, really. Even at the pool she runs back and forth between the big pool and the baby pool so frequently you get whiplash trying to keep up.

We understand that she is normal (most likely). We've had a minor evaluation (a good friend that's in the field and has spent a lot of time with Tori observing her and proclaimed her normal and smart) and she doesn't have any sensory issues or any signs of ADHD or anything at all like that. But GOOD GOD people, she's exhausting sometimes. I honestly don't know how I made it through yesterday without yelling (except maybe a bit at Charlie, ahem) at Tori and losing my shit.

Sigh.

Okay, I think I'm done with my whine. I mostly wrote this post so that I could clear my head and feel cheerful and relaxed when I pick Tori up from camp at noon today. And so that I could face the weekend with no breaks from Tori without feeling totally overwhelmed. So I consider this post an honest vent and not a complaint. Heh.

I'll end with one very positive thing. After a series of strange incidents (a gas leak at the dance studio and then the teacher was sick) we finally got Tori back to her ballet class on Wednesday. We switched classes from one immediately post nap to one a bit later in the day, and it was a good choice: SHE LOVED IT. The teacher (who sadly was a sub, but she'll be teaching in the fall) but was amazing, really engaging the kids and keeping them on their feet and active rather than focusing on the positions and placement of hands and stuff (since the kids are three to four years old, that makes sense). Tori was so cute jumping and twirling and dancing that I actually cried a little. She was just darling and at her very best; inquisitive, joyful, and bursting with happiness. Even if she couldn't quite ever manage to wait her turn to do something, she did each movement with finesse and confidence, such a delightful combination that I couldn't keep the grin off my face (yes, I laughed and cried at the same time). I desperately hope that whatever happens to her in life that she can keep just a little bit of that gleeful confidence as she faces things, because if she can, she'll be able to do anything she sets her mind to. My beautiful girl.

So there you go. The yin and yang of parenting. May today be an easier day, huh? Have a great weekend.

2. The motherfucking cocksuckers at The Valley Swim Club in Huntingdon Valley, PA. Please note -- I must defend my city -- this was NOT a Philadelphia city club, but a private club outside of the city limits in a neighboring county. The kids kicked out of the club, however, where from Northeast Philadelphia. And to the assholes at the club that raised a fuss when these kids showed up, FUCK YOU. To the asshole that was "worried these kids would change the complexion of the club" DOUBLE ASS FUCK YOU. You suck, your club sucks, I hope you get your assed sued until the end of time and your wallets are empty. To the kids that had to suffer this, MY GOD I AM SO SORRY SOME WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPID. Gah. I wish I could be more eloquent on this subject without all the damned swearing but it just pisses me off so fucking much I could hurt someone. I better not meet the President of that swim club in person because after I do he will NO LONGER HAVE BALLS. Fucker.

3. President Obama. I just wanted to stick in one positive thing. I was listening the news from the BBC in London the other day and an announcer was discussing Obama's recent visit to Russia. He mentioned a point that Obama made in a speech and he said, "President Obama, AS EVER, stated it very elegantly..." (emphasis totally mine). Dudes, the idea that we not only have an "elegant" President, finally, but that is he "as ever" eloquent and clear, MAKES ME EXCEEDINGLY HAPPY.

4. The Fat Girl's Guide To Living. Okay, so maybe it's not in the news. However. As I am getting more active again (I've been walking nearly every day! And sometimes I even kinda-sorta run a bit! Woot!), this awesome online guide to active fatness (wait; active fatties? I dunno) could not have come at a better time. This fantastic site (full disclosure: run by the awesome Toni who is a frequent commenter here and a friend, with others) tackles all the questions a fat girl wants to know like, "Is there an inflatable camping mattress that will hold me?" and "Can my ass fit in a kayak?" CHECK IT OUT. It is the bomb.

5. Um, shoot. I can't remember the rest. If there is something else you want me to discuss, post it in the comments. I'll get to it. I swear. :)

(I promise to get back to some deep posts soon about Important Things. I will. I swear. Damn, I'm swearing a lot today. Damn it. How unlike me.)

Sweet girl! You are 37 months old. A month older than 3. I still can't believe you are three; you have become such a big girl these days I can hardly stand it. The vestiges of babyhood are few and far between on you now: a bit of a dimple of baby chub on the backs of your thighs, a hint in your cheeks, and your general deliciousness.

You've grown up quite a bit in the last few months. A couple of weeks ago you had a major vocabulary and talking breakthrough. You no longer just say a full sentence or two; now you can tell long, rambling stories full of delightful details. Sometimes you talk for so long and so much it's difficult for anyone to get a word in edgewise, which leads to a lot of us asking you to allow the adults to talk now and then. One night you told me a story that lasted for a full hour. No, I am totally not kidding. AN HOUR. Girl, you can TALK. I have NO IDEA where you got that from.

You continue to be a super high energy and very physical child. You are awake for about twelve hours any given day, and at least six of those hours need to be spent in serious, hard core play. Thankfully, the weather finally stopped being cold and rainy and we can now go to the pool, the single best place to wear you out in existence. Except maybe the beach; the beach is even better (but the beach is two hours away and the pool is two minutes away). Your Daddy and I have been working to get into better shape so that we can keep up with your ever-increasing capacity for physical activities. Because if you keep needing more, we're going to both have to get in shape. Thank you for that.

After three years of being a great sleeper, you have begun to decide that the world is FAR TOO INTERESTING to miss any of it by sleeping it away. Nap time has become a battle, and while most kids your age seem to stop napping, you really still need it to be in a good mood. Bedtime is tougher and tougher and you have been routinely staying up until 9pm or so. We don't mind; evening time is some of the best part of the day. Lately we've been going for meandering walks in the neighborhood after dinner and that's been a great deal of fun, except we have to accept that we all (me, your Daddy, and the dog) have to walk at the pace of a three-year-old that finds EVERY SINGLE ROCK worth a looooong stop and perusal.

You continue to be smart and curious. You haven't yet hit the "Why?" phase, but it's coming, I can tell. You want to touch everything, try everything, taste everything, and learn about everything. You absorb the world around you with delight and good-hearted greed; you really, really love being alive. It's amazing.

You are also very, very funny. You play jokes on me and your Daddy, and you tell funny stories. You love it if we make you laugh, and sometimes you and I crack each other up so much that we can hardly breathe from the laughing. One of my favorite moments each day is your bedtime final hug (more a delaying tactic on your part than any actually longing for a hug, I think) when I hug you so tight you can't breathe and then kiss you like crazy. You sag in my arms and laugh and laugh. It's adorable. Almost as adorable as when you go berry picking in the living room and make us eat the imaginary berries (but when we offer you one, you say "I don't like berries.").

As marvelous as you are, you still present some challenges. The non-stop talking can be a bit of a killer. Your amazing ability to walk super sloooooooooowly when we have to get somewhere at a certain time (seriously, nothing drives me crazier than the slow walk; NOTHING). You continually shout demands at us, forgetting to say please or even frame the question nicely ("I want a juice box!" "Sit down now!" "I want my squirrel!" "Play with me now!"). You still resist the most basic day to day operations such as getting bathed, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, but we are being very consistent about insisting. I just wish that we could do the basic day-to-day stuff without resorting to threats of time-outs. One morning you stayed in your crib shrieking for nearly a half an hour because I refused to let you wear a dress that was filthy. That was AWESOME.

But then there are other times that you are crazy cute and adorable. Like yesterday when you said, "Mommy? I REALLY love you." Or when you sat on your Daddy's lap at the 4th of July parade. Or when you load up nine of your stuffed animals in the toy stroller and wheel them around the house. Or the happy and excited face you get when we tell you that we are doing something you love. Also, although we're still working on your manners, you have mastered the art of "excuse me." You never interrupt without saying "excuse me," although sometimes you YELL IT VERY LOUDLY WHILE OTHERS ARE TALKING. Which is kind of cute, I have to say.

Tori, you continue to rock my world on a daily basis -- both in good ways and bad. I love how much you are learning each day and how much you are teaching me about who I am and how I need to grow up too. I cannot imagine the world without you; I love you so much, a bit more each day. Someday the love I have for you will grow bigger than the universe.

Love,

Mommy

I was thrilled to hear you have chosen to film your first original movie for your channel. I was even more thrilled to hear you were going to use the awesome Anita Blake books by Laurell K. Hamilton as your inspiration. Anita Blake is a great character, and I've wondered, frankly, what was taking Hollywood so damned long to start making movies about Ms. Blake, because the books have it all: hot vampires, sexy werewolves, and a kick-ass heroine who also happens to be a necromancer. The premise is brilliant, original, and ripe for film.

However.

For some reason, you appear to have decided to target the film to your "core" audience, 18-34 MALES. Can I offer a bit of a friendly warning?

DON'T BE A BUNCH OF DUMB ASSES.

Dudes (and pardon me, but I'm assuming you ARE dudes), y'all have heard of Twilight, right? The crazy successful book and movie about vampires? Have you perhaps noted who reads those books? GIRLS AND WOMEN. (Note: Laurell K. Hamilton is probably NOT the books you want your teens and preteens to graduate to after reading Twilight. Just so you know.)

Some publishing houses have their own Vampire Fiction departments. Who writes those books? WOMEN. Who edits those books? WOMEN. Who publishes those books? WOMEN. Who buys those vampire books? WOMEN.

NOT MEN.

Men do NOT like sexy vampires. They like scary vampires, like that new book by Guillermo Del Toro.

Vampire fiction, however, is PORN FOR WOMEN. And Laurell K. Hamilton's books in particular feature hot, hot, hard core vamp on human action (and werewolf on vamp action, and sometimes vamp AND werewolf on human action...). My husband likes the Laurell K. Hamilton books not because they feature stories that interest him, but because THEY GET HIM LAID.

As much as I enjoy the True Blood series on HBO (part of the inspiration for your new movie, I'm sure), I've been saddened to see Sookie Stackhouse -- the MAIN CHARACTER IN THE NOVELS (by Charlaine Harris) -- relegated to a supporting role as the show focuses on all the male characters like Sam, Bill, and Eric. Hell, even the drag queen chef -- briefly mentioned at best in the books -- gets more screen time than Sookie.

Don't make the same mistake. Look past the end of your 18-34 year old male nose and see where the true heart of the cash lies: with WOMEN.

As a vampire freak aficionado, I implore you. Don't fuck up Anita Blake. Because I will cut you.

Sincerely,

Cecily of Uppercase Woman

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Hey, here are a couple self-aggrandizing links to check out... :)

The folks at Scribnia interviewed me.

Remember this editorial I wrote? Yeah, well this dude has decided to do a line-by-line response to my story. Warning: some of what he says about Nicholas and Zachary is very harsh, so steel yourself. Here is his response over at RHRC.org. Comment at RHRC (please) and not his personal blog (where he posts the same article but also uses a photo without either my permission or the photographers, but whatev). I do think it's very interesting to see his viewpoint. No, I am not upset about what he wrote, he has a right to his opinion and I respect his right to say what he thinks, even though I do feel like he doesn't get it. But that's my right.

Lastly, for excellent analysis about the vampire genre stuff, check out this Salon article. Well said!

End of rant, and end of links. :)

No.

Why not? This is so stupid I want to hang my head in shame.

Because I wanted to get a bit of a tan. Why? Because of BlogHer.

I've seen a gazillion posts about people losing weight, getting new shoes, and doing other various things to prepare for the convention. Me? I decide to go for a "healthy glow" and end up with fucking sun poisoning. I feel like crap and I can't wear a bra without severe pain. Now, instead of looking all relaxed and bronzed, I'll be a peeling ugly mess at the convention.

I am, officially, AN IDIOT.

PS: Please skip the skin cancer lectures. I KNOW. I already said I was an idiot.

_____________________________________

Please regale me with tales of vanity that backfired on you. As I lay about and moan while popping ibuprofen like a lunatic with my boobs all akimbo, I will be able to laugh and enjoy your misery as well. And thank you in advance. :D

July 4th, 2009 from Cecily Kellogg on Vimeo.

2. Sarah has another show. It's already been up for a month or so but it's running through August so if you are in the Philadelphia area please stop at 21st and South Streets to admire the amazing photography of my very bestest friend. And, of course, buy lots of her stuff so she has money and stuff.

3. I would have thought this was obvious, but a bunch of folks have asked, so... YES I AM GOING TO BLOGHER AGAIN. It's in Chicago this year and I'm leaving in three short weeks. Whee! Yes, Sarah is going with me again too although she'll be out being a photographer during the day and I'll be at the convention seeing a bunch of people I adore. I won't do one of those braggy "omg I'm gonna see such-and-such famous blogger" posts (mostly because for me the awesome part of the conference is the conversations in quiet corners that happen -- Military Mama, I'm talkin' about you) but I will say this: after five long years of online camaraderie and friendship, I am finally going to meet Julia in person for the first time. I may spend the whole weekend hugging her tight, so if you see a hot blond at BlogHer with a short, fat redhead attached to her leg, that would be us.

4. Speaking of conferences... have I mentioned that I'm a speaker at the awesome new Type-A Mom Conference? No? Oops. Sorry. I am. I'm a super psyched. I hope you can all come, it's gonna rock da house. Seriously, check out the speakers. DA-YUM I am humbled by their company.

5. Um, I also had another column up over at Alpha Mom. Yeah, it was like two weeks ago already, but I totally forgot to mention it with vacation and all. Sorry. Check it out now, if ya don't mind. It's funny. I think. 

That's it, I think. Is there anything you forgot to tell me? :D

(There were a lot of parentheticals in that paragraph, weren't there?)

But I do remember the hype about Charlie's Angels. Because my mother commented on it. As a 1970s feminist, she was absolutely disgusted with the show and its premise: three "sexy" women detectives that answered to an unseen male who sent them routinely into dangerous territory. I can certainly see her point, but I think she missed out on the absolutely revolutionary nature of the show: it was the first time a television show featured smart, independent, ambitious young women fighting to utilize their talents in their careers (after all, they tried to all be cops but were stuck behind desks because it was the 70s, after all).

I've been thinking about that since Farrah's terribly sad death last week at the hands of a rather brutal cancer (seriously, I can't think of a worse way to go than anal cancer). What I remember most about Farrah Fawcett isn't her Charlie's Angels role (I think it was only a season or two, right?) but her 80s comeback when she starred in two very revolutionary roles in the  movies of Extremities and The Burning Bed. I watched Extremities after I'd fought off my own would-be rapist in the winter of 1986, and was profoundly effected by the movie. Watching Farrah quiver and softly testify in the courtroom scenes in The Burning Bed was amazingly memorable too; to this day I can picture those scenes.

Since Charlie's Angels, there have only been a tiny handful of shows that have centered on women characters; there was the fantastic Cagney and Lacey (how much do you love Sharon Gless and her chain smoking character on Burn Notice?), of course. Kate and Allie. I'm sure you can all remember a few more. But they have been few and far between; while many shows now feature the one strong, smart, complicated woman (Mariska Hagartay in Law & Order SVU, for instance), until very recently the airwaves remained dominated by men.

I was struck while I was thinking about Charlie's Angels and the legacy of that show with just how many shows I am personally watching (and invested in) right now that have women stars. Not just women, either, but messy and complicated and emotionally fascinating women. I'm talking about shows (all of these are on the air right now) like The Closer with Kyra Sedgewick (I loved how she carried around her dead cat's ashes this week while solving a huge crime and facing down not only her boss but her husband and the whole FBI). Then there is the unbelievably awesome Saving Grace starring Holly Hunter. Not only are those two shows STARRING women but they are also executive produced by the stars. And there is the new Hawthorne, starring Jada Pinkett Smith (the weakest show on this list by far, but I have hope, and it fills the hole left by ER just a bit). Kudos to TNT for featuring these shows.

There's also In Plain Sight, which I fucking love because it not only features the amazing main star as a federal marshall but two other remarkable actresses in lead roles as her sister and her mother. Then there is the new show starring Edie Falco called Nurse Jackie, and of course there is Weeds (which I'm not loving so far this season, but I stand by the show).

I think each of these shows owe a debt to Farrah Fawcett and the rest of the cast of Charlie's Angels, even if the television networks were (are) all a bunch of sexist idiots by taking this long to get to this point. You'll also note that all of these shows are on cable, and NOT the big three (or four) networks; we still have a long way to go.

But I'm grateful for the strength showed by a blond praised only for her "California" beauty and mostly ignored for her immense talent. It's making my summer far more entertaining--and empowering. Rest in peace, Farrah. And thank you.

That might seem like a lot of fat, but in truth, we had developed some VERY bad habits as a family. Slowly but surely our diet went this way: okay breakfast, possibly okay lunch, then some fucking crap for dinner. Take-out or fast food or pizza. Then, without us even realizing it, Tori went on a food strike and one of the few things we could get her to eat regularly was a Happy Meal, and suddenly, we were eating fast food a couple days a week for both lunch AND dinner.

I know.

Tori stopped her hunger strike ages ago but we kept on eating the crap. Until my birthday (April 26) which was the last day either of us had any fast food (okay, not true -- I ate Taco Bell once since then out of desperation one night but I kept it somewhat healthy).

It's quite possible that Charlie's stomach ailment was, basically, Super Size Me syndrome (we'll know more after the test tomorrow). I didn't realize how much the food was making me feel generally crappy, because we were staying generally active and I also didn't gain any weight (I know! I can't believe it either). But I did. I felt CRAPPY. My digestion was off, I felt sluggish and tired all the time. It sucked.

Since my birthday, we've drastically changed our diet as a family. Both of us have started incorporating lower fat food into our diet. This was easy for me, I'm an old hand at moderating my food intake, but was all new to Charlie. He frequently marveled over the fat grams in some food item ("Did you know these Cheese Danishes have 35 grams of fat?!"), and couldn't believe how many grams of fat he was eating a day (more like 40-50 grams per meal instead of per day, plus a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before bed).

In typical male fashion, Charlie's dropped nearly twenty pounds and is now weighing what he did when we first started dating (with a little help from a stomach flu in the spring). Fucker. Heh. I've also lost about twenty pounds, but you can't really notice it on me yet (maybe if I manage to drop another ten). Charlie both looks and feels better, and so do I.

The only thing we haven't yet been firm about adding to our routine is exercise, but that has changed in the last week. Since I've felt my antidepressants kick in, I've felt very motivated to GET OUT AND DO THINGS, and I keep dragging Charlie behind me in my wake. We've been walking every evening for about an hour (it's not a long walk, but with Tori, it takes a while because the whole world is just so DARNED FASCINATING AND MUST BE EXAMINED IN MINUTE DETAIL), plus our hiking and swimming (at the pool I've been taking the time to go do some laps in the deep end). I feel sure that we are on our way to a much more healthy, active life style.

The funny thing about the dietary changes is that never, not once in all the years I've been with Charlie (17 years this November, holy fucking crap) have we ever changed our food as a FAMILY. In the time we've been together I've ballooned up in weight four times and lost it three; once with drugs (not recommended, very very expensive), once with a rigid weigh-and-measure-every-morsel-plus-no-white-flour-or-sugar diet, and once with Giant Weight Loss company counting points. All those times I ate alone, eating food I made for myself, while Charlie ate his normal food and chips and cookies. Doing it as a family is not only easier; it doesn't feel like I'm dieting. (It doesn't feel like I'm dieting because, well, I'm not; I'm just eating more low fat, which is not the same thing at all.)

The funny thing is, of course, that healthy eating begats healthy eating (sorry about the begats lately; perhaps it's a new favorite word). The more healthy food I eat, the more I WANT. The more likely I am to just not consider crappy food as an option. Combined with my new found exercise enthusiasm, well, it's no wonder I feel like a new person, eh?

We still do take out; but we stick to things that are lower fat (Vietnamese, for instance) and make better choices. I am cooking more, which is great, and we've found some pre-packaged foods that are healthy and work for us when we don't feel like cooking. It's been great.

I'm not sharing this to brag or anything like that. I just feel like my life has turned around and I wanted to share it with you all. Spring has sprung in Cecilyville, y'all. It's kinda fucking awesome. Wish Charlie luck tomorrow and think good thoughts, will you? :)

So off I went to see a therapist, and she said, DUDE YOU TOTALLY NEED MEDICATION and I was relieved. And now, I cannot believe the difference. I wake up energized and rested. I feel focused and relaxed at the same time. I feel happy. Most of this really energized and relaxed stuff has happened in the last five days or so, right about when you’d expect to start seeing some response to the medication.

But I just feel like I’m back in my body again.

Damn. Maybe I will turn into a fucking happy ass Mommy Blogger after all. Heh.

____________________________________

It's time to announce the winner for the free DNA testing from 23andMe. Dudes, if I could, I'd give each of you a test. Some of the comments were so compelling that I really feel horrible I only have one to give away.

I did not pick the winner; I used a random number generator to do so. And the winner is...

Kim! (kimba1030 at bigtelephonecompany.net). Kim, I'll forward your information to the folks at 23andMe and let them get in contact with you to discuss the free kit. 

If you didn't win, I AM SO SORRY. But you do have the chance to get $50 off a kit RIGHT NOW. Go to 23andMe, order a kit, and enter this code to get the discount:

Code: 7VFTNW

It's only good for the first ten folks that buy a kit in the next two days. Again, I wish I could give everyone the discount too. But if you are interested, now is your chance to save $50.

Congratulations to the winner!