Uprooted to Paradise

2011-09-07T17:19:00.002-04:00

Just a reminder that Allie is writing on a new blog, undeniable!!

please consider following this new blog

www.undeniablyhuman.blogspot.com

undeniable!

2011-06-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

the new blog has begun!
Undeniable was launched today, please consider following

www.undeniablyhuman.blogspot.com

also.. my amazing husband Bryn MacPhail (holla!)
has created a fab new professional website for me check it out!
www.alliemacphail.com

love, allie!!!

Final blog post for Uprooted to Paradise.

2011-06-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

This is my last blog for Uprooted to Paradise. Read on for an explanation.

Exactly one year ago, the MacPhails landed in the Bahamas as residents. Still exhausted from saying goodbye to so many people, we put our hearts and mind to setting down roots here in Nassau. When contemplating the big transition to Nassau, Bryn and I knew in order for ministry to be effective and for our family to thrive, we would need to establish roots in Nassau and be able to consider this place home. God has been so good to us, we indeed feel settled, we feel more than settled we feel rooted.

My roots did not arrive with my belongings on a cargo ship, nor did they happen when the school routine began with our daughter. Not even when I started my work here as a therapist did my roots show up. No, I am firm believer that on June 3rd 2010, when I landed here in Nassau as a resident that unbeknown to me, I had roots. I brought them with me.

This transition, this move, this big huge enormous change in my life called Nassau, has taught me something. Roots are not where you live, roots are not where you are from. Roots are those things that grow from within caused only by knowing to whom you belong. My roots are strong and firm, my roots nourish and support me during this crazy thing called life. God is the One to whom I belong, the One to whom I gain my strength, and He is the One who really really knows me. He shapes my roots, through the knowledge that more than anything in this world I belong to a God who adores me for who I am. So whether I be in Timbuktu, Zimbabwe, or Toronto I can claim my roots, this transition to Nassau is what taught me this truth.

Along this journey I have seen and felt God's grace and mercy in my life in ways I could never had predicted. Through this part of my life I have felt God's unrelenting hand of love, showing me over and over that I belong. Perhaps a better way to say this is that God himself, has taken root in my heart, I am rooted from within. Sometimes I try to tether myself to things, people or ideas but being rooted from within is a no fail solution to this uneasy world. A tether is a temporary solution that lasts as long as you can hold on and is dependent upon the strength of your rope. Finally, I get it, I am rooted,I always as have been, as long as I have known Christ I have been rooted from within.

So why is this the last blog? This blog has been so helpful in my understanding of this truth, and the processing of my thoughts and feelings throughout this transition. I might be letting go of Uprooted to Paradise but I will be beginning a new blog shortly. Stay tuned, I promise to let you all know of where my next blog appears and what it will be all about and thank you for all your kind words, thoughtful comments and prayers as I realized I am rooted in Paradise.

Shine on my friends and thank you for supporting myself through this blog.

Allie "firmly rooted wherever she goes" MacPhail

Celebrating the Underdog

2011-05-15T16:44:00.014-04:00

Yesterday my daughter and I volunteered at the Bahamas Humane Society Fun day. It was a day to help raise money to further the amazing work being done at the BHS, where hundreds of homeless, abused and unwanted animals are cared for and eventually re-homed to their "furever" home. There were food, games, and contests for all to enter. The contests were far from the traditional dog show events; there were awards for best kisser, waggiest tail, most/least obedient, most agile, most unusual looking, and best costume. There were ribbons handed out to the winners of the contests, worn with pride by the dogs and the proud owners.

The day which was primarily a fundraiser was really more about celebrating the underdogs of the dog world. The dogs there did not contain a pedigree or official papers stating their genetic greatness. No, the only claim of greatness was seen in the bond between dog and their owners, but what a claim. Papers were nowhere to be found but claims of love and friendship abounded in plenty. Most of the dogs yesterday were alive because they had been surrendered to the BHS, rescued off the streets or snatched from a death sentence at the pound by BAARK. These once underdog dogs were certainly the stars of the show as they were paraded through the fun day by the owners who loved them.

I too am an underdog, in fact I think most of us are if we think about it. There is a point in most people's lives that we question where we belong. We might have come from the best of families or the worst of families, our heritage matters not, what matters is that we truly know to whom we belong. Once we do, we no longer are forced to take cover under rotting porches instead we have shelter with a King. When we know where we belong, the terrifying fear of being hurt is replaced with the strong protection of our Creator. The dogs yesterday, were once underdogs but were claimed, sheltered, protected and loved. They wore their ribbons from the contests with pride and their owners beamed to be associated with such a dog. I too have a ribbon of belonging which I wear with pride, it is not seen with eyes as it is in my heart. I know I belong, I am protected, sheltered and best of all loved. I belong to the King. Yesterday, I was reminded of such truth.

Online Persona, who are you?.. thoughts from a guest blogger

2011-05-04T19:22:00.008-04:00

Time to evaluate the accuracy of your online persona. My guest blogger today has made everyone just stop and think. What or who are you representing online? is it a true picture of you or a sanitized picture you prefer to let people see? This has me thinking! I am glad to say I do sanitize some of my thoughts for my own online persona, but I do trust that i am not appearing false. I put out what I hope is edifying to those on line, and I keep back what is only between myself and God.

What do you do online? how sanitized is your persona?

read here for the amazing blog that got the world thinking.

the link is:

http://networkedblogs.com/hsmND

shine on my friends, sanitized or not.. just be who God made you

No Ma'am!!!!

2011-05-02T06:00:00.001-04:00

It was barely more than a whisper, but the word spoken meant more than I could cry out. It was uttered in a room with much going on but when heard other noises were hushed. She leaned over to me in a greeting, with a huge smile. Hers was a face I had seen every week for a few months now. Yesterday there was a relaxed look to it, in previous weeks there had been reserve and caution. She tapped me on the shoulder to ensure I was listening and said it, she said my name. Allie.

Sounds silly doesn't it, to be so excited to hear my name, sounds almost self centered, but let me fill you in as to why that moment touched me so deeply.

Children down here in the Bahamas are taught to address their elders as ma'am or sir. There is no deviation, and it appears to be strictly enforced. For all my months here in Bahamas I have been addressed by bag boys, young teens in restaurants and kids in school as ma'am. I really cannot stand it, I know it is protocol but to me it is a barrier which gets in the way of furthering any hope of building a friendship with the child.

As I get to know the kids I have had the following conversation repeatedly.

Ma'am.. (insert question here)

Yes, but call me Allie

Yes Ma'am.. question continues as originally stated... nothing changes.

But yesterday at church, it finally happened.

She came looking for me as I had not had a chance to greet her before church started. She came with the biggest most "happy to see me" smile I have ever seen. "Allie".

She said Allie.

I heard, "I feel comfortable with you"

She said Allie

I heard, "I trust you"

She said Allie

I heard myself think, "a friendship has begun"

She said Allie

I felt God give evidence of why I am here

Shine on my friends, build patiently the friendships in which God has intended you to Shine.

Hope cannot be hidden

2011-04-24T07:12:00.012-04:00

We cannot disguise him with a bunny

We cannot avoid him with an egg hunt

We cannot ignore him at our family dinner

He is there among the easter eggs

He is there in the pastel colours

He is there in the straw filled baskets

Hope cannot be hidden,

Hope cannot be ignored

Hope cannot be avoided

Hope is alive

Hope is real

Hope is yours.

Jesus has risen!

Jesus has defeated death!

Jesus is Alive!

This easter, no matter what your tradition is,

look for Him, see Him and remember He rose for you.

John 20 is linked here for you to read:

May this year you experience the Hope that has been given to us all through Jesus' resurrection.

shine on my friends and find the hope that was risen for you!

Death defeated death.

2011-04-21T07:23:00.014-04:00

Thank you for the cross.

At the cross you gave,

at the cross I receive

At the cross you were emptied, at the cross I am complete.

Your own death defeated death for all.

Your words, "It is done".

So simple, so powerful.

The death of death is done.

Lord, let me boldly live in that truth.

You are my all.

Thank you for the cross

love came running

2011-04-07T06:49:00.013-04:00

Our foster dog, "Bruno the brave" has been with us for two weeks now. When awake he spends about three quarters his time on our back porch the rest he has taken to wandering around our yard like a palace guard. He is really quite the charmer as he stands on guard or wanders around acting like he has been hired to guard our family.

Bruno still has some weakness in his back legs but just the other day he lifted his leg to pee, a great sign that he is regaining some strength! Another great thing to report is Bruno's hair growth, it is coming in well now and I think he knows he is looking handsome.

Yesterday Bruno made my heart swell. Bruno and my other two dogs were at the far fence of our yard. Snickers, my adopted potcake heard my back door open and came running up to see me, Bruno followed suit. Did you hear that? He ran to me. He was so excited to see me he ran. This was a dog who had a hard time sitting up about 10 days ago and he was running!

I knelt down and opened my arms as Bruno ran towards me and all I could think of was the phrase love came running! He enthusiastically welcomed my hug and affectionate pets. It was a moment of true gratitude and friendship.

I always thought I was the one giving love to Bruno as he was healing from his neglect and poor health, but yesterday Bruno was the one who showed me true love as love came running to greet me in an all out, unhindered way. Thanks Bruno, you are amazing.

Happy Blogaversary!!!!

2011-04-06T02:00:00.004-04:00

Happy Blogaversary!!!

It is my Blogaversary.

Uprooted to Paradise is One year old today.

A year ago my heart was breaking at the prospect of leaving what I had grown to love. I remember shutting the door and sliding down it in tears unable to walk further after saying goodbye to my dearest friend. I remember crying in my parents arms as we faced our final goodbye in Canada. I remember preparing my clients for another therapist all the while I desperately wanted to stay and continue supporting their journey. I remember a beautiful song, written by an amazing friend and artist sung to our small group as we met for the last time.

Most of my memories of a year ago are tear stained still tinged with a heavy heart. Most of my memories are about the goodbyes that were being made as I prepared for my enormous transition from Canada to Bahamas. I can happily say those goodbyes were not final, I have reconnected with most I was forced to leave and now looking back, those relationships were strengthened by my move. I know now what it is like to cherish in one's heart a person that has so greatly influenced my life.

I started my blog as a way to creatively deal with the thoughts in my head. I am not a great one to always speak my mind, it takes a good deal of work to get out my own thoughts. The blog has made it easier for me to let you in. After a year of blogging, I am hooked and love this tool, it is cathartic for me and as I am finding out, somehow, God is using this to encourage others! I have gained the benefit from the many comments people give me and I want to say a sincere thank you for those who contribute on line or in person, your thoughts mean a great deal to me.

This blog has challenged me to see my world the way God wants me to and not get stuck in my cynical selfish Allie mind. This blog has challenged me to shine even when I think there is nothing shiny about me. This blog has been my therapist, my confident and my biggest supporter. It has also been my nemesis forcing me to be honest and open about my life.

This blog has changed me.

A year has changed a great deal. Where the chaos of packing took months, I now find space in my home to relax. Where there were many sessions ending with amazing clients, I find myself beginning journeys with new ones. I no longer pester God with "Why" questions. Instead, I am living my purpose, to be God's light in this tough world and to let others know they are loved.

My signature sign off, "Shine on my friends" was created with a two fold message. It is simple, know you are loved and know you are created to shine for the One who loves you. So my friends on the day of my first blogaversary I want to say thank you for being such a great blog community. Thank you for shining so brightly as you walked with me on my journey, all for the glory of God.

Shine on my friends, you are beautiful and thank you for being such a big part of my blog!

Allie

Change, what is it good for?

2011-04-03T13:26:00.009-04:00

St. Andrews Presbyterian Kirk is 200 years old. It is steeped in tradition but it is not stuck in tradition. Today, after a few weeks of technical difficulties we had a full service on our new projection screens. That meant, all the music, all the scripture readings, announcement and welcome screens. It was fantastic, I loved it.

People will always have preconceived notions of what church is like, once you know what to expect all the time you can more easily tune out and miss out. Sadly this predictability of church can influence our view of God. God, when explained without mystery, when talked about without passion and when God's people interact without love, all of that influence our view of God. God is so much more than what we can show in one hour on Sunday.

I do not like when we make God predictable, He is not. I do not like when we worship in predictable ways, because worshiping a Holy, Creative, Sovereign God is not something we can place into an order of service and expect to just happen. Our worship needs to be an active, dynamic overflow of who God is and how He acts in our lives. For me, a very visual and kinesthetic person seeing the screens as I was in church brought in a whole new dimension to my worship.

So why do I love when churches change things? Whether it be about their style, building, or programs, change done in a prayerful effort to glorify God in the community in which they serve, can bring about a whole new life breathe into a church as we learn to worship in new ways. Change shakes us up, it makes us evaluate our notion of the God we serve. Change, I hope, reminds us that our view of God is too small, that we need to stop confining Him into the spaces we are used to.

Shine on my friends, in old and new ways for our God cannot be contained!

p.s I would love to see you worship with us at the Kirk, Sundays at 10:30. God is doing some amazing things there through His people. Challenge your notion of who He is. Let me know when you are coming so I can sit with you and perhaps even find some conch salad after for lunch!

hang on! Love will come.

2011-03-23T20:03:00.007-04:00

Yep, my heart was stolen today by a boy named Bruno. Bruno is our new foster dog, he is need of some serious love and attention. Baark/ Straybusters found him in miserable shape, neglected horribly by the people who were to care for him. He has been in care for almost a week now, and today he came to our home to be fostered back to health. The minute he turned the corner of my yard I fell in love with the courage of this dog. He should have given up the will to live a long time ago, but something told him to hang on, love will come. He should have been seriously suspicious of all people considering it was people who neglected him so badly, but again he must have known that love will come. He was shown his new dog house, in our backyard, but he was not interested. Instead he has chosen to try stay near where we were and laid down on our cement back porch so to not miss any opportunities to see us. I found an old quilt for him to lay on more comfortable, he is sound asleep right now. (here is a picture of him on our quilt!)

I am guessing that he will be a great role model to a lot of us living here on planet earth. Bruno, some how knew that no matter what he was going through that love was on its way. He held on and will still need to hold on as he recovers from the long neglect on his body, but he has this face that says.. see Love was on its way! The amazing thing is that Bruno is holding on even while still in pain, he was counting on love so much that he choose a more uncomfortable spot to lay down and wait for it. So often we despair with all that is going on, Hold on, love it on its way. I have friends waiting for answers, big painful answers; hold on love is on its way. I have friends living with painful pasts; hold on, love is on its way. It is closer than you think, and while it will not erase your past or present hurts, you will know that love, God's love is real and powerful.

shine on my friends!

p.s Bruno, has only been here 10 hours and already he is much welcomed and loved here at the our house, he has found a place where he can both love and be loved. A place that I hope he can recover to the point of being adopted by a deserving family. It will need to be a family that is in awe of his courage, and determination to survive. It will need to be a family that shows love in all they do with and for their animals. Perhaps you are that family, I will be blogging about Bruno's progress as we continue together. Stay tuned and pay attention to your heart, your home might just be the home Bruno is waiting for.

for a minute he knew the truth..

2011-03-18T16:29:00.009-04:00

I saw a man eating out of a garbage can today, snatching any remnants of discarded fast food he could find. I saw him about two weeks ago as well, he was being chased away by two of the fast food employees telling him to get out and away from there. My heart broke watching him so afraid of those people and seeing such little compassion they had for a hungry man. I am ashamed that I watched and did not help two weeks ago, I am mortified that my lack of action did not provide opposition to their words. Words that were telling him he was no better than the trash from which he was eating.

Two weeks ago I ignored the prompting that beat so strongly in my heart. Today when I saw him again, the prompting to help was even stronger and I could not ignore it. I needed to show him a different message, one that says despite all you have been through, despite all you have been told, you matter. I had been heading into the convenience store with a list that by then had all been forgotten so I started to look for something for this man to eat. I came out with bread and peanut butter, no knife to spread with, but it was something.

I opened the door and looked toward the location of the garbage can. He was still there but when he saw me walk towards him he hurriedly turned the corner to avoid contact. I cannot tell you the look of shame he had, he eyes so hungry but so embarrassed, he must believe that the words hurled at him were true, that he was indeed no better than trash. I followed him around the corner, he had his back to me. I called out to him "sir" , he turned to me looking very wary. I held my hand out with the bag of bread and peanut butter, and explained "I got you something to make sandwiches with, I wish I could find a knife for you to spread it with but at least it is a start". He slowly took the bag without looking at me and looked uncomfortable with all of this. I turned away to go back to my car. I looked back briefly and said "God bless you", got in my car and started to back up out of my parking spot.

As I backed up to the corner where our interaction took place, I saw something out of a vision. He had slung the bag of groceries over his shoulder and with a wide open smile was looking up to heaven and beaming. His face shone in that minute with the truth that he mattered. He was realizing that he was not trash but that his life matters very much. I would love it to last more than a minute for that man, but reality tells me in a few hours he will be accosted by more harsh words and dirty looks that will bring him back to the level of trash. I determine to tell him differently each time I see him and pray that some how, the message of truth sticks.

I tell you this story not because I want to brag about how kind I am, that is simply not true. If you remember the beginning of this blog, I confessed to ignoring the promptings of my heart. Unfortunately I could fill an entire website of all the things I ignore when I could have taken just a minute to show I care. I am telling you this to encourage you to take a minute to show you care. Use your resources of time, money and talents to send the message to someone who needs to know they matter.

The truth is we all matter, poor or rich, young or old, single or in a relationship. We matter very much, we were created, and we live in a very imperfect world which sends us all kinds of messages that oppose the truth that we do matter. God is the reason why you matter, He made you perfectly (lumps and all) for what you are intended for, some know why you are here, others still question their own purpose. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing (including eating garbage) you matter and you are loved.

shine on my friends!!

Not your ordinary Sunday

2011-03-06T20:22:00.002-05:00

To some it might seem like an ordinary Sunday, but not to me. Today we had about 30 children from our neighboring area collected and bussed into our church to worship with us. It was an overwhelmingly amazing morning. This felt like it was something I was meant to be a part of, and I was beaming. I am so pleased and proud to have been a part of the Sunday school teachers who rallied this week to make it happen. We had received noticed on Thursday that this was finally going to happen. The number of kids were quoted anywhere from 8-80 that were to come, we had to be ready for anything, thanks to God's peace and power, we were. Our hearts (based on the exchange of emails) were aflame with a passion to show love to these kids who often daily struggle against the oppression of poverty, family issues and life on this little tiny Island called New Providence. God, thank you for showing us teachers your strength and passion, it was incredible to be a part of this morning.

The kids walked with their amazing leaders from the community center sliding over and squishing in to fill up three front pews. I have to admit, I had some tears that this was finally happening. I have had some interaction with these kids at the community center but not all of them. I waved to the ones I knew and smiled at the ones I was about to know. Overjoyed does not describe the feeling of being waved back by those for who you pray in the very place in which you bring them to God.

This however is not the end of my prayers, it is just the beginning. Our church will be challenged to weekly show these kids and by proxy their parents love and care and passion. Lord, grant us the strength, the compassion, the ability to see what you see and the wisdom as to how to continue this great work that started today. To you be all the Glory , and all the people said "AMEN".

shine on my friends!!!

p.s i so wish I had remembered my camera, you would have loved the smiling faces of teachers and students alike!!

Bester and the status Quo. Lesson #2 from my cat.

2011-02-27T09:53:00.013-05:00

My cat Bester continues to be my muse this week. Last week I wrote how she inspired me to be driven and dedicated by my priorities. This week however she has reminded me of how I do not want to live.

Bester, is a black cat, she has at most three white hairs on her chest but the rest is all gloriously black and shiny. The only other color found on her is her startling green eyes or her cute little pink mouth when she opens it to meow. Bester has always loved to blend in, she will sit on anything black in an attempt to fit into her surroundings. I first noticed this in Toronto with her obsession of stealing our black socks and putting them all in a corner to sit on, or the way she claimed our black leather reading chair as her own. Since we have moved to Nassau, this blending in has gotten a bit worse. I now find her atop our black coffee table which is not a condoned activity by the way but while the humans are away, the cat will play. The funniest however is pictured below. In our living room here in Nassau the floor has a black border on it, I will often find (by accidentally kicking or stepping on ) Bester here on the black line trying to blend in amidst a sea of white.

I really do not know what makes her want to blend in but that does not matter to me, what matters is that she wants to blend in. I know that feeling, my default position is to try to blend in and hope no one notices me, that way I cannot mess up too bad. If I fit in well enough I will be more accepted, I will take less chances and the status quo will continue. To keep status quo is really quite easy, I can live in my little comfy bubble, take no risks and make no difference.

To step outside my comfort zone would be like Bester finding rest on the white part of the floor, I would stand out more and would be at greater risk for ridicule.

The reality is I have a choice, to hide or not to hide, to find situations that I can maintain status quo with or find those who I must step up and love as Christ wants me to love. This choice is a moment to moment decision, it is decision that is risky, hard and scary but one I try to choose every day. See I want to stick out, I want to be different (no comments here!!) I ought to be different after realizing the amazing love that God has for me, my life ought to reflect that truth. I want people to be able to see my life, my every day life and question what makes me tick. I do not want to be easy to figure out, I want to create a stir and make people notice that I am different because of Christ, because of His love for me. Sorry Bester, maintaining status quo just does not cut it, it is a dull and passionless life and not one I can live after getting to know Jesus. So while stepping off the line is risky and scary I daily choose to be different so others may start experiencing the love of God too.

One of my favorite songs to listen to during my workouts is written out below, I love it!!.

Shine on and stick out my friends, he has called you to follow Him and not the Status Quo.

Brave
(Nichole Nordeman, Jay Joyce)

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now, it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, your love, that cuts the strings
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say your name
Just your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall
Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me, that changes everything

2005 Birdwing Music / Birdboy Songs (ASCAP), admin. by EMI CMG Publishing / Sony/ATV Songs LLC / JohnnyO Music (BMI)
© 2005 Sparrow

Christian lyrics - BRAVE LYRICS - NICHOLE NORDEMAN

Bester, driven by Love: lessons from my cat

2011-02-21T21:19:00.011-05:00

I once wrote about learning from my dogs, lessons of life, now I turn to my cats for inspiration and have gained much knowledge of how to live from watching their daily activities. I have decided that I would like to be like my cat in a few ways. Today I share with you one of those ways.

Meet Bester, she has what doctors call a bit of a weight problem, in fact we often are heard calling her Beastie because of her enormous girth. Sadly this jacket actually had a slimming effect for her in the photo, she is one, nay two arm fulls of cuddle and I love her for it!

Bester lives a life that involves three things, eating, sleeping and getting affection. I want to be like Bester because she has formed her days around what is important. She knows what she needs, she seeks it and is content. I want Bester sized contentment. She gets hungry she eats, she is tired she sleeps, she sees her humans and dives on to the floor in front of them exposing her giant belly waiting for some affection.

Bester, is content with and actually seeks out what is most important. I on the other hand seek out time to tend to my cyber cafe app on my iphone, I seek time to worry, I seek time to fret. None of those are bad in and of themselves but when I seek those before my relationship with my God my priorities are out of whack. Bester is the most satisfied when she is close to her humans, I can tell you from experience, my deepest contentment is found when I am close to God. Bester seeks me out, dives in front of me and waits for her affirmation that she is loved. I on the other hand sometimes avoid my time with God thinking I have more important things to do, I wonder what would it be like to dive in front of God, be vulnerable and lap up how much He loves us.

Bester sort of knows, she takes risks for that very affection, diving at the most awkward of times or when my arms are full. I have to admit that sometimes her risks go unrewarded as I cannot at that moment respond to her need. Thankfully God is very unlike me in that He is waiting for His Children to dive and expose their vulnerable side so that he might apply his healing hand of belonging to our lives.

Besters response to a cuddle or belly rub is a loud and happy purr, it is a purr that says finally, I have all I need. But there is more, Bester will often drool and purr when she is particularly enamored with her human. It is drool akin to a open mouth laugh we have at slapstick comedies when no sound comes out but your mouth is open so long drool starts to happen. Bester has that, pure contented drool when her humans bend down to pet her or stoop to pick her up, it is so sweet. Bester in a phrase is driven by love. I am in awe of that.

So why do I want to be like Bester? I know I am loved but do not I seek it as Bester does. I do not fling myself into the path of my Creator and wait for affection. I through vague prayers up throughout the day, and rush through my bible reading in the mornings, Bester stops and takes it all in. I keep moving through life at too fast a pace which does not allow me to gain Bester sized contentment. Bester taught me today as she threw her self down in front of my path that I need to actively pursue my contentment. Bester taught me today as she drooled on my shoulder that I need to sit and take in the affection God has for me otherwise I will miss it.

My contentment comes from the Lord, I can only pray that my desire for Him and my active pursuit of Him increases to the kind that my Bester shows to me.

Dive on my friends!!!

Coach Allie gets schooled..

2011-02-08T12:01:00.005-05:00

I was schooled today while I was coaching swimming, but it was an amazing lesson. Read on.

I was teaching kids to swim this morning at a learn to swim program for the government schools. It is an amazing place to be, the kids are so eager to learn and I love teaching them. I am so proud of all they do in such a short time.

Today I was teaching two 10 year old girls the back glide (push off from wall and float while gliding) part of the instruction was to keep your eyes up at the sky instead of looking at the wall.

They were struggling with this, instinct makes you want to look for land and they kept sinking as they lifted their chin. I thought that if they could picture a really cute guy that was in the sky they might try to keep their eyes up, so here is the conversation.

"Okay girls, you need to keep your eyes up, so what I want you to do is picture your best guy up in the sky and look at him while you glide backwards ..okay?"

"Okay!" they eagerly said

I racked my brain and tried to figure out who 10 year old girls might be into, I could not even come up with one so I asked who are you going to picture?

without any hesitation they both reply "Jesus, he is the best guy"

My mouth shut, and then curled up into a huge smile,

"you have that right" I said and off they went floating on their backs .

I think I got the biggest lesson of all today, and I just adore those girls for witnessing to me with their love for their best guy, Jesus. Coach Allie can get schooled like that anytime!

So keep your eyes up as you keep on shining my friends

The Truth about Images.

2011-02-03T10:43:00.017-05:00

I have been having fun promoting my practice this week. It is not something I am used to doing anymore as in Toronto when I had a space to fill during my office hours I just pulled from my wait list, here I have to start from scratch! One of the things being done is a newspaper advertisement announcing my welcome to the clinic. This requires a picture of me, so Wednesday night, I had both Anya and Bryn help me with a impromptu photo shoot. After this photo session I spent a whole hour examining and touching up the two shots that were the the most suitable to make them newspaper ready. I heard myself say out loud, do I look smart in this one or this one? Do I look warm and caring in this one or this one? I went on for about 7 characteristics, this one or this one, Number one or Number two, flipping back and forth for quite some time. In the end, I just picked a number and hoped for the best.

Ideally a picture represents a bit of truth about a person but I really do not think much more than a bit can be gained from a picture alone. We have all been in situations where we have seen a person's photo before we have met the person, we create expectations of that person. Then when we meet the person we are surprised by how different they are than our expectations. We need to experience that person to gain a better idea of who they are and even meeting them one time at a dinner party is not enough to truly get to know them. It takes many meetings, many opportunities to share and collect information.

Here is my point to the blog, what is your current image of who God is? Is it based on your memories of Sunday school and the felt figures of Jesus stuck on flannel graph? Is it based on your annoying neighbour who goes to church on Sundays but during the week lives a life unlike what you expect a Christian to be like? Is it based on TV preachers? Is your image based only on parts of the Bible and not all of it? I guess the ultimate question is how true is your image of God and how do you know? I can guarantee that we as humans cannot fathom everything God is, we have no idea how to picture all He is, but I can tell you that the more you look into who He his, His qualities, His power, His love that you will find that God wants to be known, He loves you and wants you to live in that truth. He wants to be know for who is He in truth, not who he is from second hand sources.

Wanna know a secret, my photo shoot is based on a false image of who I am. The night I did the photos I had already changed into PJ's when I decided I was having a decent hair day and might attempt the photo shoot. So I changed my top, put on make up and started to smile as the camera flashed. If you were to zoom out on those photos, you would notice that I was still sporting my PJ bottoms, the fabulous Toronto Maple Leafs ones too! My family loved the look so much they laughed at me the whole time! So these images of me are not speaking the whole truth, just the image I wanted you to see. I challenge you to consider how you think of God and then start asking the hard questions. He is right there waiting to let you know His truth and He has nothing to hide.

shine on my friends!!

Second Chances

2011-01-22T20:32:00.008-05:00

I picked them up on Wednesday, put them in my purse and walked away. I wanted to skip but needed to treasure the moment in my heart before anyone else noticed. They felt solid. They were all mine and I was flying. My little secrets stayed in my purse for a bit as I did a few errands. It was not until I got into my driveway that I took them out to stare and while still in my car gave a wee eeekkkk!! What lay in my hands were my new business cards. Simple in look but profound in statement about the goodness of God. They are a loud and clear message that I have been offered a second chance I am humbly willing to accept.

Want to know a secret?

When I left Toronto, I was not sure I was going to be able to practice down here. I was not sure I would be able to achieve a work permit never mind a place of employment. I left honestly believing I would be using my skills in other areas but never again to have a practice, this grieved my heart more than I can express. It broke me to leave my practice and the wounds have left deep scars. I will leave most of my scars untold as they are between myself and God but you must believe me, I truly thought God had called me out of my career through this move to Nassau. I was embarrassed that such a radical move was required, I was angry that it took such an extreme move to change me but in the end after much debate I trusted that God knew what was best.

As I prepared for my transition I spoke in optimist tones that I was going to do my best to find work in my field but deep down I knew God did not make this a guarantee. Fear and doubt plagued my heart often as I knew God was going to do something different with me in my new home. I feared I had failed at balancing my life and God had to cull my career as it was throwing me off balance, that unfortunately was true. I lacked balance in Toronto, I got too busy. Nassau, I thought must be God's way to call me back, to simplify my life and help me find how to live with the right priorities. So I came here with much humility but willing to listen for the first time in a long time to where God wanted me to be.

Nassau has indeed been a new ordering of priorities to me, and I am grateful for this wonderful new place to call home and that at least for these past 7 months I have lived with purpose and wonder of God's calling. But here is the kicker, a second change has come my way and now God has seen fit to give me a place to work, and yes I am thrilled and yes I plan on doing this with more intentional balance but does He not remember that I am the Allie that can bung anything up even if all I have to do is unwrap it?

This second chance has brought me to my knees and in earnestness I have pleaded that this is the right move. What I fear now is that I lose what I have found in Nassau, contentment with just being God's. When I have no career to talk about, when my schedule is not always productive that contentment comes not from what I am doing but who I am, God's child. I have learned that what I cherish and need the most is to listen to the One who made me so that I can be where and whom He wants me to be.

These new business cards mean a great deal to me. They could be a source of pride, they could become an all consuming career but what I want them to be a reminder that I have been given a second chance by a God who knows me, loves me and has a plan for me. I am excited to move forward with this but mostly I am excited to move forward with the sense of contentment that no business card can give, that I am His and He has me.

Shine on my friends in all you do. Paid, unpaid, seen unseen for you are His

The Big Nothing

2011-01-09T15:43:00.005-05:00

See I have been away from this blog for near 20 days nows, a record for me. At first it was just the busy days of Christmas that got in the way of my writing, but the major reason for my absence was my computer. It contracted a virus shortly after Christmas and just this past Friday was remedied by my ever patient computer geek of a husband. A huge thanks to Bryn, a man of many talents and seemingly endless amount of patience for stubborn computer problems. So with a smile I find myself ready to write a blog

I sit here, staring at my blank screen wondering just what shape this blog will take. I have every urge to flip open my personal journal to see what moved me this past fortnight, but that was then, not now and I really work best with I write within the now. My now however is being written in a low key, track pants- wearing Sunday afternoon where my family and I are enjoying rest and waiting to celebrate hamburger night. I am not sure that is very deep or exciting for a blog. However, for today it will suffice, no it will be better than sufficient it will be fabulous in its own way.

We will celebrate the joy of the perfectly cooked burger, we will take joy in the many antics of our animals, we will seek comfort in just being the three of us and we will be thankful for all we have been given. I often forget that rest is essential not a luxury. I often interpret a low key day as unproductive, but in actual fact it produces a sweet fruit of its own. I confuse my days that have nothing on the calendar as boring instead of rehabilitative.

Today, I happily write about my big nothing day. Do not ask me what I did, for I will give you a blank stare in reply, ask me how I felt and I will report balanced, quieted and full of contentment.

So glad to be back

Shine on my friends in all you do..including your big nothing days

Bah Humbug Christmas ain't here, is it?

2010-12-21T07:05:00.018-05:00

As I move about Nassau this season I am trying to make sense that this is infact Christmas. The weather, although it has cooled a bit still feels like end of summer/ early fall in Canada. There are no signs of flurries, although with some of the Bahamians and Haitians wearing wool hats you might suspect a different forecast! There are no frosted plants in the mornings in fact I have been told this is the time to start my garden, gasp..really! And Christmas you say is here?

Bah Humbug Christmas aint' here.

I have heard Christmas songs, both sacred and secular. The secular songs here in the Caribbean are just like the Canadian songs I know. Focusing on snow, Santa on a sleigh and chestnuts roasting all of which are sung by school kids who for the most part have never seen a snow flake or felt the cold winter air. Confusing.

Bah Humbug Christmas ain't here!!

Santa, here in Nassau still wears a big red wool coat and is atop a sleigh, if I were Santa in the Caribbean I would have chosen a red linen suit that breathes and a scooter for my transportation. I am not even sure how he gets in the homes, I have yet to see a fire place in any of the Bahamian homes.

Bah Humbug Christmas ain't here!!

The front lawns of our neighbours and store fronts have decorated palm trees all lit up, and you can see their imported Canadian Christmas trees all lit up on the inside of their homes. There are turkeys ready to be stuffed and sweet potatoes ready to peel and be turned into a sweet mash. Pumpkin pies line the shelves of the grocery store and even some dogs are wearing antlers in an attempt to look like Max from the Grinch. But I say...

Bah Humbug Christmas ain't here!!

I have never been really big on celebrating the Santas, trees or stockings. I love food but big dinners do not make for me a memorable Christmas. So as I was looking for signs of Christmas down here in Nassau I was struggling. Then I realized, what makes my memories are the moments I stop getting caught up in all the expected trimmings of Christmas and hold in my heart the nativity.

My favourite part of the Nativity scene is found in Luke 2:19 when we hear that "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart". She at that moment realized was happening to her and to the world. She thrilled that a Saviour was about to be born. Mary cherished that God was reaching down to the world, not just to watch us but to be with us. That she was carrying the Emmanuel, God with us. And there is it...

Christmas is here!!

..in fact because of Jesus, Christmas will never leave. Lights come down in the new year, trees wilt and are tossed in January but Christmas the real Christmas will always be here because God came to be with us. So I need not be with my usual traditions of the Great White North to celebrate Christmas, I just need to ponder, like Mary did, the wonder of God coming down to earth to bring us closer to Him.

Celebrate the Emmanuel not only this week at Christmas but always. Let your heart ponder and renew and simplify where you look for Christmas, then where you may be found, so can Christmas no matter what it looks like on the outside!

Snickers, a dog of many talents

2010-12-21T06:50:00.002-05:00

I am so proud of my dog Snickers. She thought it a good thing to write BAARK a letter to express her gratitude. The people at Baark loved it so much they put it in their Christmas newsletter. I thought I would post it for you all to see. I will continue to encourage her writing talents and hope for more from her in the future!

A letter from a grateful dog

Dear BAARK and all the people who cared.

First off I want to say Thank you for saving me from the pound, while I do not want to speak of my experience, I was very aware that my days were numbered and my very life at risk. You saved my life and I am so grateful. Secondly, thank you for your care of myself and my kennelmates while I was housed at BHS. I know that dogs can be a handful and there sure were lots of us but you did a great job tending to us all. I send a happy wagging tail thank you to all the wonderful staff at BHS and the amazing volunteers from BAARK. You all rock!

My heartfelt gratitude now leads me to think of my new forever family. Thank you for not only adopting me on paper but with your hearts too! I have never felt such love. I have never felt so safe. Whenever I go out on walks with you I let my body language proclaim to the world that I belong!

I thank you for the way you pet me, feed me and let me cuddle with you when you watch TV. I have never slept so soundly, played so freely or eaten as healthily as I have with you. I do not get why you do not have fur or how you walk on two legs and not four but I love you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me, giving me a last name and letting me be what I was meant to be, a dog that can freely love because I am alive, healthy and capable of loyalty, all because I have you as my family.

Love

Snickers Doodlebop MacPhail (the first)

p.s here is a picture of me waiting for my first family Christmas!!

A message for me

2010-12-06T06:33:00.006-05:00

I awoke today way too early with my mind buzzing with details of life. God whispered Allie, get up, I want to share something with you. I rolled over and tried in vain to find sleep again, but it did not come. God stirred up the wind outside my window and said, Allie get up I want to share something with you. Knowing sleep was far from my abilities I listened. Mindlessly going through the motions of finding my morning slippers and sweatshirt, I headed for the kitchen and flipped on the coffee maker. I started to put the dishes away and God said, Allie stop, I want to share something with you. I made note of the request and continued a few minutes in my task. Snickers bounded through the living room and sat on the couch next to my bible, again I hear God's request Allie, come here I want to share something with you. Heavy with the tasks of the day ahead of me, I shuffle over to the couch and sit next to Snickers and take a hold of my bible.

I await for God to share what He was so keen on waking me up for and wonder what kind of message will it be. What tasks will he want me to do today, what kind of work to bring to the world today. I wait, I pray silently for a deeper relationship with him, The wind continues to stir. Snickers waits patiently with me. Then I hear it, the words He was so anxious to share with me, "Allie", He said as I read His word, "You are greatly loved". That was it, that was all, no complex world peace equation, no demanding list of people to seek and things to do. God woke me to tell me I was greatly loved! Tears dropped from my eyes, wet with the reality that I am loved by the One who controls the wind, who manages all things, by the One who took the time to wake me before the rest of the world to instill in me the one thing that will keep me going, I am loved.

How amazingly simple, how amazingly profound was this message. I will treasure this in my heart all day. Thanks for the wake up call God and next time I will not try to press snooze.

Shine on my friends and know you are loved.

Allie

Immersed but still thirsty

2010-11-24T20:40:00.004-05:00

John 4:13

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I sit here at the pool watching my daughter in an intense workout session and these words have come to my mind. I have been here at the pool for a total of 6 hours today. 1 hour workout for myself, 3.5 hours teaching in the water and now 1.5 hours watching my daughter train. I find myself immersed in and around water all day and yet I still thirst. I thirst for drinkable water. Knowing my water bottle and despite the fact I am surrounded by water has run dry I expect a long wait to find a source which quenches my thirst. The water I have immersed myself today is not for consumption but it taunts me with the beautiful sound of splashes making me crave pure clear water all the more. I want to drink deeply but know it will not satisfy.

This pool has reminded me that it is not just swimming in which I have immersed myself. I immerse myself with projects, friends, sports, family and the list continues. I report that most of the things I tend to immerse myself with are good, and beneficial yet they lack ultimate satisfaction. The verse today reminded me I need to immerse myself first in my relationship with God. When I fail to do that first even these most joyful experiences in life leave me wanting.

Jesus has promised to quench our thirst with water that satisfies our thirst for good. Yet I live a life so immersed with other things I often find myself in a state of discontent and always looking for more things to try. Things that while good are not lasting joy. I am not bashing good things, not at all they all have a place and a time, but I convicted at this pool today that I have immersed myself so much in the other things in my life that Jesus is taking a back seat and my thirst has continued to grow to the point of desperation.

I thirst to the point of feeling parched and dehydrated. I have staggered around exhausted fighting weariness, and now here thirsty at a pool, I am reminded to drink deeply from the well Jesus provides. He reminds me to find contentment in Him first, the only pure water, the only drink that satisfies my thirst.

Shine On my Friends, drink deeply and be content.

Live or Thrive? yet another lesson from a dog

2010-11-07T19:22:00.021-05:00

Tonight I went back to the Bahamas Humane Society, to help the awesome people at BAARK with the weekly dog walk. It is a night were volunteers bring their leashes to walk the dogs living at the shelter to help prepare the dogs for adoption into their forever families. The dogs, who have spent most of their week in their kennels needless to say are more than excited to see so many people with leashes. It is a bit chaotic as we all take a dog, get them on a leash and wait in the area just off the parking lot. The dogs are raring to go and once the gate is open we are off. The dogs pull and lead the humans in a blur of excitement.

The craziness continues for about 10 minutes and then I notice something really cool happens. The dogs settle into the walk and a calm seems to come over them (okay most of them). It was almost as if they remembered how to be a dog. Nose the ground, tongues hanging out and the occasional grateful look back towards the human walking them. The tails however were the most noticeable. When I looked up from my dog, I saw dogs before me and behind me with the happiest tails I have ever seen. Wagging tails are one of those purely joyful moments for me and to see so many wagging tails brought tears to my eyes, it was a great night. These dogs we so joyful to be out in the open, so happy to be walking and amazingly content just being them. It was awesome.

I had the privilege of walking a sweet dog named Gucci (she is pictured here but these are older pictures when she still had most of her fur). She has been at the shelter at least as long as August as she was Snicker's (our adopted dog's) neighbour. I do not know much more about her other than what I can see. Life in a shelter, while keeping her alive is hard on Gucci. She has lost a lot of her hair, a common occurrence I believe in shelter dogs as shelter life is stressful. Gucci, despite being fed well and looked after by the amazing Humane society staff is too thin for her beautiful frame (another common feature in shelters). As Gucci and I began our walk, she was nervous and wary of the space, but as we continued along her eyes would often look back with the most grateful expression, and what I saw was her true beauty. Gucci, I am guessing, was apply named for her once stylish beautiful coat but is now balding and skinny yet out of the shelter for a bit, her true self appears even more beautiful then her fashionable name.

All that moment took was the ability to open the cage, but it was not something that the dogs could do for themselves, they needed someone to help them out and to a place where they could be the fabulous dogs they were meant to be. A cage was holding these dogs back until tonight we opened the door. The need for a forever home is holding these dogs back, from being their real selves for the rest of their furry lives.

What is holding you back from being the real you, from being content and joyful. I am fairly sure it is not a real cage, unless somehow I have gained some followers in prison which would be pretty cool! For some of you it might be your lack of security holding you back, for others it might be the overwhelming details of life holding you back. I could list so many things that hold people back (myself included) but I won't. Whatever those things may be they can cripple our ability to be who God made us to be. Being held back can be an obvious feeling for some yet others can be oblivious to their lack of contentment. It causes us to settle for mediocrity and blinds us to the hope open in front of us. In makes us mere live instead of thrive, much like dogs in a shelter.

I want you to know, your "cage" has been opened by the only person capable of doing so. No matter where you find yourself, in or out of your figurative cage I want you to know God has opened that door through His Son. God has planned from the beginning of time for you to be you and wants nothing more than to see His children thrive in contentment and belonging, in joy and peace.

Let me challenge you, that while dogs and animals are amazing, you are more so. Look around and ask yourself am I living or thriving? If you are just living, I am grateful for that fact but what will it take for you to walk through the door of the cage and thrive or as I say live as you are loved.

for purpose of this blog my closing is not just shine on my friends but also wag your tails..