Ms. Cohen’s article chronicled the efforts of the job seekers – looking online, scouring the classifieds and even networking groups of other unemployed.  I ran into the same issues – sending 100s of resumes to blind ads, knocking on storefronts with help wanted signs – and like many of my Boomer colleagues, I was told more than once that my knowledge and skills made me “over-qualified” for a position.  The frustration and rejection can be overwhelming.

While these are traditional, classic methods, they are not the way most employers find great employees – the rules have changed and Boomers need to be aware of where to channel their time and energy.

In UPSIDE, we demonstrate how these rules of employment are changing to rules of engagement.  Rather than look for stability through a 40-hour week job, we now must promote our most tangible assets, skills and strengths, and be able to tell a prospective boss how we can impact their results.  This means taking a long hard look at your present skills and then researching what other industries or fields can benefit from your experience.

The next step is to get out there and network with people who have jobs in these fields. Volunteer on projects through their associations or join a group that you’ve always been interested in but didn’t have the time.  Doing your homework gives you focus and direction while volunteering is a wonderful way to see past our own circumstances and woes.

The important factor here to remember is the definition of insanity – if it hasn’t worked for you in the past 6 -12 months, let it go.  That mode or method is no longer effective and will only compound your frustration.  Gratitude and a clear direction can be powerful motivators to alleviate despair!

‘If we expect to get x and we get x, there is a slight rise in dopamine. If we expect to get x and we get 2x there is a greater rise.  But if we expect to get x and get 0.9x, then we get a much bigger drop.  Our brain doesn’t get slightly unhappy, it sends out a message of danger or threat.” 

The conclusions from this research, as well as others, indicate that we must adapt to change and not to expect too much during this time of economic instability—especially when there are things out of our control.

In our book, Upside:  How to Zig When Life Zags, we say the following:

“Feeling that you are entitled to a certain way of life, or expecting it to turn out a certain way, could be holding you back from success and happiness. Many of us were raised by parents who expected us to get an education, find a great job, buy a house and start a family.  While that may have been possible for your parents, it set the bar for unrealistic expectations and feelings of entitlement for you today.”

If you can detect the source of your expectations, the upside is that it will be easier to move ahead on your journey to sustainable success.  Holding on to what life should have will make deal with the not-known more difficult.

Bonnie Michaels

In our book, Upside:  How to Zig When Life Zags, we discuss the meaning of happiness.  Our premise is that even during a recession and hard times, it is possible to be happy.  One of the core elements in the book is the idea that happiness comes from many things other than material possessions. We also emphasize the importance of reworking your American Dream to fit the new reality.

A new survey conducted by MetLife indicates that many are pursuing their own version of the American Dream.  Beth Hirschhorn, executive vice president and chief marketing, says “people are adapting and pursuing their own American dream.” There is a de-emphasis on material values, even to the extent of accepting lower living standards.

“The American Dream for many – higher education, owning a home, a great career, providing a financial safety net and building retirement assets – is either unachievable or irrelevant. Posted on:  Dream’s dark hour By GREGORY BRESIGER January 7, 2012

Survey spokeswoman Laura Adams, adds that the American Dream is less conventional and more personalized than previously defined. The average American wants to realize his own dream, not that of a group.

To realize your dream, take the time to discuss with family and friends the elements that determine real happiness.  Look at the components in our workbook, http://www.upsidethebook.com.  Take the survey developed by Sustainable Seattle, http://www.sustainableseattle.org/sahi/117-survey.

Wishing you a happy American dream and one that can be sustained.

Bonnie Michaels

At a recent winter Solstice celebration, we wrote on paper our passions—things that we can do in 2012 that make a difference in the world.  We then shared them with the group.

My suggestion is to expand this idea is to include children in the process. My friend, Judy Chiss, former educational director of the Children’s Museum in Chicago, said she was making a “wish booklet” with her children and grandchildren.

This concept has great merit for introducing the idea of goal setting to young adults and children.  It also offers the opportunity for a dialogue between family members.  It creates opportunities for expression and learning more about each other.  Imagine your child setting a goal to finish homework on time or not fighting with a sibling.  This intention offers opportunities for self-managing and awareness.

Parents, too, can set goals such as no email, texts or phones after work thus creating more chances for face to face communication with family members. Once these goals are said out loud, the family has a responsibility to work together to reach their goals.

New Year’s goals, intentions, and wishes can be an excellent way to achieve something important, especially when they are shared. Make a wish list with your family today and see how your family system can improve.

In addition check out our book, Upside: How to Zig When Life Zags to increase the probability of your success.

Bonnie Michaels

• Give to others in greater need

A good case study comes from a woman and her son that volunteer for the homeless by bringing blankets and food donations.  She reflects that the experience gives her joy, resilience and strength in countless ways and it is an excellent way to educate children. She says, “It’s what the holiday is all about.”

• Bring people together

Use your creative self to hold gatherings of friends and family and plan something unique—games, song fests, sharing memories and old photos of holidays.  Make it a potluck so you aren’t responsible for all the food.

• Stay out of the malls

My advice is that it is too tempting with all the hype, music, and sale signs.  Go shopping for what you absolutely need, or better still, find it online. The need vs. want syndrome can be addictive. (See exercises in Upside:  How to Zig When Life Zags, www.upsidethebook.com)

The Center for a New American Dream, suggests giving oneself—providing gifts of time or experiences that will be remembered.  Examples:  give a friend her dream, sign her up for a class, purchase a gift certificate for a spa, or give tickets to a community theater. 

• Attitude, attitude, attitude

Bring your best attitude to the season.  It will affect all members of your family.  If you are showing more doom and gloom about your current circumstances, it will affect everyone you care about. It is difficult to remain upbeat in these difficult times but the upside is that you have a choice on how to react.  Your willingness to be motivated and have fun despite your circumstances will strengthen you in the long run.

• Look forward and not behind

It’s not what you don’t have but what you do have.  It is a time for being grateful for everything we do have.  Asking family members what they are grateful for is an excellent way to bring people together.  After all, the greatest gift is that you have family and friends.

Have a Happy and Meaningful Holiday!

Bonnie Michaels

According to Whitney, natural talent is not the driving factor behind creativity.  Instead, it is the art making that creates the bridge from your logical, analytical left brain to the infinite, intuitive, miracle creating right brain.  Her results have been so exciting that her art classes led to a published book, The Artist Within, and also an online Creatively Fit program.  (www.creativelyfit.com)

The journey has not been without setbacks.  Amidst opening two art centers, having three children and publishing two books, Whitney also opened and operated two wine bars with a partner.  Unfortunately, the wine bars ended up in the red, which created much self-doubt. Whitney recognized the power of experiencing such kind of failure and refocused her vision on Creatively Fit.  She now coaches and has an entire team of Creatively Fit Coaches across the United States, Africa, Europe and Australia.

For Whitney, there is no greater joy than creating joy in others.  When her clients transform from “I can’t even draw a straight line” to creating their own art, her purpose is proven.  Whitney believes that art making is a portal to your higher, infinitely creative self and there is no greater reward that helping individuals experience this.

To learn more about Whitney’s amazing books, coaching programs, Creatively Fit Centers or to hear her speak, visit www.CreativelyFit.com or https://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=575239571.  Whitney is also hosting a creative cruise, so come amplify your creative spirit!

This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch tomorrow on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.

When Sallie Felton works with a new client, one of her first questions is, “What would it feel like if your life were exactly the way you wanted it to be?”  It’s a thought provoking question from a woman who understands how intricate life can be.

After three years of intensive training to become a Professional Certified Coach, Sallie uses her own powerful life transition to lead others to success. Whether it’s identifying goals, working on relationships or beginning a new chapter in life, Sallie is your secret weapon to uncover the hidden obstacles that are holding you back.  An accomplished author and speaker, Sallie also hosts an international radio show, A Fresh Start with Sallie Fenton http://www.salliefeltonlifecoach.com/A_Fresh_Start_radioShow.html

Sallie’s own background of addressing the not-known and identifying obstacles is powerful.  She co-hosts a second radio show with Conway, her husband of 30+ years.  Entitled, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Sallie and Conway discuss the realities of managing and living with depression.  Often a taboo subject, depression affects millions but is often misdiagnosed or untreated. The response has been so popular the couple is working on a book together.

For Sallie, her mantra of “Start Where You Stand” is the North Star and guiding passion of her business. This idea that life begins in this very moment where you are is a powerful directive and the platform of success for her clients.  Sallie encourages people to ask for help and let others do what you don’t want to. She believes that investing time because you can or should is a disservice to your authentic self.  Your time deserves to be spent in pursuing your passion.

To find learn more about Sallie’s excellent books or to listen into her radio show, visit http://www.salliefeltonlifecoach.com/about_Sallie_Felton.html  or check out her FB page @ https://www.facebook.com/#!/salliefeltonlifecoach — you’ll be glad you did!

This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.

Dawn’s approach is different from other life coaches. While she supports and empowers people to live their purpose and create their own version of fabulous success, she also believes that owning your own business can often be a great way to accomplish your dreams.  Dawn and her team focus on clients’ passions to determine how they may be able to weave them into their lives on a daily basis and perhaps even begin to make a living doing what they love. 

One of the keys to fabulous success, Dawn believes, is finding joy in all parts of your life.  As a mother of three young boys, she lives her message that life balance is not only possible but vital.  According to Dawn, when one lives their life purpose, they have a reason, a why and they move forward with these core values in mind.  That clarity makes it easy to decide the more important activities and release the rest.

The path to purpose has not always been easy for Dawn.  As an expat in Paris, she was surprised and depressed by the lack of career options.  Her turning point came as she silently prayed for guidance on a metro train, only to discover a phone message on her cell that would start her on her path to fabulous success.

For Dawn, touching just one person, igniting that spark of empowering others to excel is the reason she continues to grow her business.  www.FabulouslySuccessful.com now offers group coaching and a Fabulously Successful Elite Club for Women and will be adding personal VIP days and workshops in France and in select cities around the world – all designed to help women use their light to shine even brighter and inspire others.

Advice for getting on track with your life’s purpose?  “Go for it!,” says Dawn.  “Find a success buddy, group or coach who can help you through the rough spots.”  These rough spots can be the key to moving to the next level or taking your next step.  Learn more about Dawn at www.FabulouslySuccessful.com or visit https://www.facebook.com/dawnbournand.

This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.

This is definitely a time to erase the past holiday experiences and make a new one. Wipe the slate clean and do something different.

• Define what holiday means to you (and your family)

Our holidays have become a media frenzy experience instead of our own.  What doyou really want from the holiday–sharing, laughing, reflecting, remembering, reawakening spirit?  Once you define what you want the experience to be, you can create it without a lot of money and stress.

As I think about a time in my life when I was a single parent and broke, my daughter and I made lots of gifts and had time together to laugh and create. I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t have money to spend.  I actually liked the time with my daughter that was removed from my busy life.  Shopping doesn’t bring you closer.

This year I received the best present from my daughter—it was a poem on what I meant to her.  I treasure it to this day. It is far better than any store bought gift.

• Keep it simple

During times of great stress, it is easier to plan your holiday buying and decorating to a minimum.  Think small.  Remember to go back to that holiday definition and make the experiences come from within instead of objects.  House decorating can be a family affair with all members coming up with one object or idea that can be put together by the family.

With small children who have high gift expectations, communicate that this year might be different. Explain why.  Remember you are doing a great justice by keeping your kids in the loop of family issues. (It will prepare them for their future.)  If there are financial difficulties, it is important to handle the message with honesty and compassion but not alarming them.  A three year old doesn’t need lots of details but some explanation on why gift-giving will be different this year. It doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.  And that really is up to you in how you communicate. For example,

“Santa is only bringing one gift this year—there are so many children and only so many to go around.”  You can determine what suits your communication style.

For older children who want lots of expensive techie toys or games, you could consider contributing to an item and then asking other family members to pitch in.

General gift ideas include doing something for someone—a back rub for a partner, a special meal for a parent, a unique sleepover party for your children’s friends, etc.

Check out A Mindful Christmas—How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday by Barbara Kilikevich or Hundred Dollar Holiday:  The Case for a More Joyful Christmas, by Bill McKibben.

More tips in Part 2 next week.

Bonnie Michaels

Andrea applied this talent to a very successful corporate career.  While juggling massive projects in a high-pressure environment, she still found that helping individuals achieve their goals to be the most rewarding.  When she discovered the role of executive coaching, Andrea says it was like “finding the glove that fit me.”

Her clients are fueled by Andrea’s core values of integrity, full self-expression and inspiring magnificence.  She believes that all business is created through powerful and connecting communication, which quickly leads to amazing results and successes.  Andrea is committed to inspiring others to own their personal magnificence by thinking and playing bigger while embracing the huge difference they make in the world.

Andrea certainly walks her talk, too.  A confessed ‘recovering perfectionist’, Andrea discovered many of the tools she coaches others with as she wrote her first book, Ignite Your Life! How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.  The need to write the ‘perfect’ book almost immobilized her, but lucky for us, she overcame her self-doubt and busy mind and voila, the book is now a reality!

Her advice to others?  “The only thing between you and your dreams is YOU!”  How very true – that’s why in order to have it all, you must let go of expectations and doubts and embrace the possibilities.  Learn more about Andrea’s inspiring work and sign up for your free chapter newsletter at www.IgniteYourLifeBOOK.com.

This eight-part blog series, exclusively for www.UpsideTheBook.com, highlights the Every Woman Visionary. Each of these women, along with myself, are featured in the first-ever Spirited Woman 2012 Directory: Resources For An Inspired Life! (www.thespiritedwoman.com) set to launch on 12/12/11. It is an exciting time for women, and the FREE magazine-style digital directory – rich with inspirational stories, resources and more – is our gift to you. Women from six countries and over 25 states participated in the directory.