URBANE DIARY

Tumblr Thing

2014-12-08T11:23:00.003-05:00

I'm mostly doing the Tumblr thing these days. I'm into images. I write in my journal but not really anywhere else. I'm getting back to it soon.

Summer Lovin'

2014-09-17T09:24:00.000-04:00

I call her Amma because I got her on a Saturday :) She's going everywhere with me, this summer.

Being Nice To Others

2014-09-17T09:15:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite things about being a woman has to be the bonds I share with the women I call my friends, sisters, mentors and sometimes even strangers, that I meet by chance. I am grateful to be surrounded by women who support and encourage me, let me be myself and give me strong doses of tough love, when necessary. These are people who genuinely invest time and energy (sometimes money) into me and they do so with an open heart. Women are generally nurturers and I feel that strongly about the ones in my life. All of this may seem small but there was a point in time where I was not so sure about genuine friendships amongst women and was being bombarded with the notion that they may actually be impossible.

When I was in primary school, the requirements for friendship were so basic that everyone was my friend. It started like this, if you were a girl in the same class, we were friends. Just based on that alone, it was us against the boys. A little later it became, if you gave me some sweets or you shared your toys with me, the friendship was sealed. Somewhere towards the beginning of high school, things changed. Cliques were forming – some had older siblings who taught them the “how to be cool” thing, some were growing boobs and gorgeous hair, others had the CDs or clothes we all wanted and others had all the boys in the class falling at their feet. We were growing up and growing into our personalities and ourselves, which changed the friendship dynamics.

That is around the time society started trying to sell us the idea that girls just do not like each other. As I grew older, this message was reiterated in different forms: women are jealous of each other, we don’t support each other, we are catty and mean, we are full of drama and we are constantly in competition for one thing (men) or another. The movie, “Mean Girls” did not do anything to dispel these notions but that is another story. It became very easy to get caught up in those supposed truths. Going to an all girls high school only made it seem worse, girls fighting over boys, girls telling each other’s secrets, girls bullying each other etc. Things could get very tense (almost hostile) -- you know, those glares you get/give, the standoffish conversations and the whispers behind someone’s back. I started to wonder if it was true, maybe women just couldn’t get along. I started to wonder if those girls who were proud to say they didn’t have many female friends, were onto something.

I am glad to say I now know for that those types of girls were not onto anything. Having close bonds with other women can be enriching and fulfilling. There is no substitute for some good girl friends. A friend recently told me that she views her relationships, with the women around her, as one big candle lighting ceremony. Using a candle to light another candle does not extinguish the first candle. If candlelight represents good things that you have to offer – kindness, honesty, support, a compliment - share it with other women and light up the world.

Zimmerman Resort 2015

2014-08-04T03:22:00.002-04:00

I am in love. The eyelet detail, the hats......every single thing. This is perfect execution.

Domboshava

2014-08-03T04:41:00.000-04:00

Sweet Poetry

2014-08-03T04:11:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me this recently and I quite liked it. It's called The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Instagram Chronicles

2014-08-03T04:03:00.002-04:00

1. At the market in Masvingo, doing some shopping.

2. Kezi, visiting my gogo

3. Me, enjoying some winter sunshine

4. Reading Sophia Amoruso's story of how she became a fashion retail giant.

5. Hippo Creek, Masvingo. Walking to Lake Kyle.

I've been traveling a lot -- which has been awesome because I'm happy to see so many different places in Zimbabwe. There are still tons more on my list, but I guess they can wait. When I finally came back to Harare, I took some time to reflect and thank God for his journey mercies as I have been up and down Zim roads. Our roads are incredibly dangerous and bad. There is no guarantee that you will get where you going or return home. We encountered so many accidents on the roads, old car wreckages along the sides of the highway. It is quite sad, really. I hope road safety will be taken seriously, soon.

Instagram: @glamgirlZ

Dr. Maya Angelou

2014-06-06T03:37:00.000-04:00

About two months ago, I had been thinking about Maya Angelou, I was reading some of her work and then wrote this post. You all know by now that this phenomenal woman passed away on May 28, 2014. More than anything, her passing her showed me just how much I DID NOT know about her life. I always thought she was fascinating but I was not even scratching the surface. I look forward to reading and learning more about her as the year goes on!

"You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive."

R.I.P.

The Ministry Clothing Co.

2014-06-05T09:31:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago, I spent the morning with some really cool young people in Bulawayo for a photo shoot. THE SET WAS These are some of the pictures!

Like The Ministry Clothing Co. 's Facebook page for updates on the full range and how to order your own pair of #GroovyPants.

https://www.facebook.com/theministryco

This is my pair of Groovy Pants!

Love notes

2014-05-20T13:39:00.002-04:00

Flair

2014-05-13T18:13:00.001-04:00

Fell in love with this Editorial for Flair Magazine.

Postcard from Jozi

2014-05-13T18:06:00.001-04:00

My favourite city in the world. Everytime I come here, it gets better and better. What most exciting to me is that there is still so much more of it for me to explore. I've had a lovely two weeks away from Zimbabwe. I feel like I have found myself again, as corny as that may sound. Ready to go back now.

Blossoming

2014-05-09T02:53:00.001-04:00

My birthday always makes me think. This year, it made me think about where I was this time last year, how I felt and what I planned.

I'm closer to my dreams but they also feel further than ever before. I can see the progress and growth that has happened in the last year (and I am grateful for that) but things just seem to be getting harder, there are all these new challenges.

Yesterday was the best birthday I've had in years. It reminded me of something: you cannot have it all. Be grateful for what you do have. Simple :)

Happy Harare!

2014-04-23T03:12:00.000-04:00

All across the world, people are making their own videos for Pharell's hitsong "Happy." The people over at Media Matrix and Urban Space, decided that Harare should also join in on the fun.

I love it.

World Water Day 2014

2014-04-23T02:30:00.000-04:00

March 22 is WORLD WATER DAY. If you follow this blog, you know that water, sanitation and hygiene (WASH) issues are very important to me. Usually I'd spend WWD at the Face Africa Gala in NYC but now that I am in Zimbabwe, I did something different and a bit more special. The theme this year was water and energy. The Miss Earth Zimbabwe Organization put together a commemoration for high school students from schools across Bulawayo. It was very nice to engage with your Zimbabweans and learn a bit more about the water issues in our own area.

On a cloudy Saturday morning, volunteers led students and teachers on a walk from CBC to the Hillside Dams. The students sat in the ampitheater and after a welcome address from Miss Earth Zim Director, Thandekile Muringa, the first presentation started.

Mr. Cedric Masuku, a water engineer, from the City of Bulawayo gave a presentation, which featured the ways in which water and energy are linked in Zimbabwe. In addition to everyday household usage, we water in food production processes (irrigation etc.), for hydroelectric power generation and in coolers at thermal plants. Mr. Masuku highlighted the water challenges faced by the Matebeleland region - the climate (drought stricken area) and development (population growth) related issues that have affected the region's water supply. He stressed the need for communities to start thinking of water as a finite resource and start using it efficiently. "Efficient usage should start at the highest level, from industrial to your sink at home," said Masuku, "the City is only going to grow bigger and resources will be stretched." Mr. Masuku also reminded students that the only "free" water is rain water, in many ways we are at the mercy of rains. We must manage what we have and utilise it more effectively. In addition to that, it costs money to treat water and then provide it in good quality and adequate quantities. (Pay your water bills!) All in all, it was an impressive and informative presentation.

Mr. Masuku's presentation was followed by a Q &A session and a student speech by a member of the Edmund Rice society at Christian Brothers College. Students enthusiastically answered questions in hopes of winning recycling bags, as prizes. Ms. Muringa led students in a discussion on the importance of recycling before distributing recycling bags and splitting everyone into groups for the cleanup.

My group of students

Each group received a number of recycling bags, gloves and pitchforks (provided by Bulawayo City Council) before setting out to clean the area. Different students were in charge of collecting different things - glass, plastic, paper etc. To be honest, the Hillside Dams area is kept very clean but we did manage to make it even cleaner! At the end of the cleanup, we all met in the amphitheatre to sort all the bags and then ended the program.

It was a morning well-spent!

Mint Green Lookbook

2014-03-27T06:36:00.003-04:00

A woman in harmony with her spirit...

2014-03-20T07:52:00.000-04:00

“A Woman in harmony with her spirit

is like a river flowing.

She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination

prepared to be herself

and only herself ”

- Maya Angelou

I had the pleasure of watching a conversation between authors, Zadie Smith and Chimamanda Adichie, yesterday. A friend, who knows me so well, literally called me to tell me to get onto my laptop and watch the live-stream. The Zimbabwean internet gods were smiling upon me and I listened with no interruptions or hiccups :)

Towards the end, audience members submitted questions. One of the questions came from a 25 year old woman who described being on the verge of a quarter life crisis and asked Adichie how she had discovered her purpose and what advice she would give to help someone else discover theirs. Adichie said at 25, she never thought in those terms and how that puts too much pressure on us, as individuals. Essentially she said, "Life is short, just live and follow your heart." Smith then jumped in to say how people who have found what they love don't necessarily recognise that that is a gift. Many people out there do not know or have not found what it is that they love so they are in constant pursuit and wondering about it.

I agree with both Adichie and Smith. There is this preoccupation with finding purpose which I think many people go about in the wrong way. It is not a science. I believe "finding your purpose", is a much more organic process. It's like falling in love in the sense that, you don't have to think too much or analyse it. You just know - it becomes so evident and the dots connect.

To me, purpose can manifest itself in many different forms and you can grow/evolve in that purpose. It's not tied to one specific job title, industry, field, or place. Be in tune with yourself: what are your values, what do you care about, what makes you happy.

"That Good Hair" #ABH

2014-03-10T15:22:00.002-04:00

I realized that a lot of my discomfort with natural hair stemmed from standards of beauty and stereotypes. We live in a world that celebrates light skin, long hair, small noses, long legs, clear skin, small waists and so on. The mainstream images of women who are supposed to be successful, beautiful, sexy or talented rarely include black women, and even more rarely include black women with natural hair. I would love to say that I did not care if people thought I was beautiful or not, but that would be a lie. Part of me was worried about what would happen as I moved even further from what was considered “beautiful.” I wondered if people [guys] would still find me attractive.

On top of that, I had heard it all when it came to stereotypes about women with natural hair. Black power radical type. Vegetarian. Writes Poetry. Obsessed with “the motherland.” Plays the guitar and so on. People judge us and make all sorts of assumptions based strictly on our appearance. I reasoned that I did not want people to get the wrong impression about who I was or what I was into. But after a little more introspection, I had to admit people were already making assumptions. I mean, my nickname was Glam Girl. So in reality, I was comfortable with the more glamorous and “cool” assumptions but not necessarily these other ones that were associated with natural hair.

This is an excerpt from my latest Anything But Him post. You can read the full post here :)

Nature is free for all of us

2014-03-10T14:44:00.002-04:00

Zimbabwe has given me a new appreciation for how God works through nature. I literally find myself stopping and talking about how beautiful one sight or the other is. Just walking around and taking it all in has a very calming effect.

Transitioning to being here has been just as hard (if not harder) as I imagined it would be. The biggest thing I am learning is to slow down. To literally take one step at a time and not to dwell on things too much. It is keeping me on my toes and I like that.

You cannot own a human being

2014-03-03T16:17:00.001-05:00

You can't own a human being.

You can't lose what you don't own.

Suppose you did own him.

Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you?

You really want somebody like that?

Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door?

You don't, do you?

And neither does he.

You're turning over your whole life to him.

Your whole life, girl.

And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him?

He can't value you more than you value yourself.

- Toni Morrison

Lupita Lupita

2014-03-03T13:20:00.001-05:00

I am so happy for Lupita Nyong'o. I don't think I can say that enough. I have said a lot about her over the past few months. I was drawn to her energy and her passion for her craft. I'm not over it yet.

Lookbook

2014-02-24T05:32:00.004-05:00

Photo Diary: Blue Skies in Southern Africa

2014-02-24T04:37:00.000-05:00

Over the past few months, I've become obsessed with the sky. Sometimes it is the most beautiful cloudless blue and other times it is lit up by some magnificent and terrifying lightning storms. I thought would share some of the pictures I have captured. Enjoy!

*All images captured with an iPhone 4S. Some edited with VSCO Cam.

Location: South Africa and Zimbabwe.

Follow me on instagram: @GLAMGIRLZ

2014-02-18T15:56:00.000-05:00

NYFW came and went and I have probably seen four collections maximum. I miss unlimited, reliable internet :( Anyway, came across this beautiful image. Tanzanian model, Henrieth Paul, in Zac Posen.

MUSIC Break: South Africa

2014-02-07T17:35:00.004-05:00

I have ABUSED these songs since I came to South Africa. I just cannot get enough of them. Every party, every gathering, in the car, at home -- these songs will always feature.

Happiness by Mafikizolo

Jika by Mi Casa

and saving the best for last.... Y Tjukutja by Uhuru and lots of others :)